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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27395191">Not That Lucky</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSarcasticKnight/pseuds/TheSarcasticKnight'>TheSarcasticKnight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Not That Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Baggage, Explicit Language, F/M, Fix-It, Found Family, Multi, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Starts after CATWS and before AOU, Team as Family, attempted adoption, canon is the skeleton but im changing the meat and bones, criminal activity, illegal underground fighting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:21:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>381,697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27395191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSarcasticKnight/pseuds/TheSarcasticKnight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Agents. Russians. Another promise of threatened death? It's another day in the life of Aj Bradshaw. A woman who knows her way around an underground, illegal fighting ring, but who doesn't know how to say no to two questionable agents of SHIELD. Here's to hoping she learns how to be a functional adult before her past finds and beats the shit out of her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Not That Series [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188359</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>My_Favourite_Books_</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Agents, Russians, and Bears, Oh My!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm in the process of moving everything from FF onto my account here b/c FF is being a little bitch. For those who are new, howdy and how are ya? The original character in this story was actually created for a different story of mine, but then I asked myself, "What would Aj do if she was in the MCU?"<br/>It was supposed to be a two chapter drabble and in my usual fashion I turned it into a full length story (b/c I have zero self control yay).<br/>Message me with questions or comment or kudos or whatever!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>"I think we consider too much the luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm." -Franklin D. Roosevelt</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>He followed her into the dimly lit hallway with only a slight raise of his eyebrows. The shorter red head in front of him walked with confidence, the shimmery golden mini dress clinging to her hips as she moved.</p>
<p>"Don't stare at my ass, Barton."</p>
<p>Clint groaned and picked up his pace a step so he'd be right next to her. His ribs groaned with every movement, a reminder that his mission last night had been rough. He grinned and ignored the feeling of his half healed busted lip ripping open again, "I know it's your turn to plan date night, but why's it gotta be in some shady nightclub the day after we get back from the <em>worst</em> mission ever?"</p>
<p>"It wasn't a bad mission. You're just upset that it ended with you getting thrown into a dumpster. Again." Natasha glanced at him, her red lips curling up into a teasing smirk. Clint huffed in annoyance. If he had a quarter for every time he ended up in a dumpster for some reason or another, he'd be 75 cents richer. Which granted wasn't a lot of money, but it was weird that it happened that many times. Plus, he'd at the very least be getting something for all the trouble. He couldn't keep stealing Tony Stark's card for coffee in the morning. Natasha slipped her arm through his, "Besides, this isn't a nightclub <em>or</em> date night. We're on a new mission."</p>
<p>They turned the corner into a madhouse of people cheering as others fought in hand to hand combat. Clint let her drag him along as his eyes took in all the sights. There were caged off areas where two people fought as a crowd gathered around them to cheer and bet money. Unlike the hallway they had just been in, this area was well lit and large.</p>
<p>Large and w<em>ell-organized</em>.</p>
<p>For an underground fighting ring to look like this, it must have had some serious support. Both from someone with a lot of money and someone with a lot of power.</p>
<p>"I don't remember Fury sending us an assignment." Clint mumbled. The noise alone made him want to turn his hearing aids off, but if this was a mission, the last thing he wanted to do was leave Natasha without someone fully aware watching her back. The crowd to their left side roared again as a fight ended.</p>
<p>Natasha pulled Clint towards the right where an even larger crowd was formed, "Mission's not from Fury. It's more of a…<em>favor</em>."</p>
<p>"Favor for who?"</p>
<p>"Steve."</p>
<p>Clint shot her a questioning look that was immediately ignored. He watched as the red head painted a sly smile on her lips, gripped him by the hand, and split the crowd in front of her. All it took was her pressing forward and anyone who tried to argue let the words die on their lips when their eyes landed her form.</p>
<p>Natasha was incredible at laying low and flying below the radar. If she didn't want to be seen then no one was going to set an eye on her. However, she was also very good at attracting and holding attention. The woman had a talent for fitting the mold she needed to fit into.</p>
<p>When they made it to the front Clint's curiosity only grew. They stood at the edge of a shallow hole in the ground, ankle deep at best, where two women fought. It looked like the blonde was winning since her opponent, a smaller brunette, was sprawled on the floor and struggling to rise.</p>
<p>Natasha turned his face toward her and mouthed, <em>'Recognize the blonde?'</em></p>
<p>Her voice would've been drowned out by the crowd, but she apparently didn't want to risk it. He glanced back and narrowed his eyes as the blonde ducked under a punch. It was then that it hit him. She was a SHIELD agent. Samantha, maybe? Or, Susan? He couldn't remember exactly, but he was pretty sure it had an 'S'.</p>
<p>The fight lasted another 15 seconds or so before the agent won. The crowd erupted in cheers, money was passed around, and then people began to disperse to other fights while the brunette on the ground struggled to leave the area, blood splattered across her face.</p>
<p>"Congrats on the win." Natasha said as the agent came over. She wrapped the sweaty, bruised woman in a dramatic hug. Onlookers would see a hot girl greeting her friend. Any second glance they got would be more focused on Natasha's figure rather than what the two said or did.</p>
<p>"You're right in time for the finale." The agent replied while wiping the blood from her nose on her shirt. She looked to him, "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Sharon."</p>
<p>"Clint." He replied. He hoped that was her actual name and they weren't using pseudonyms otherwise he just fucked up. "Nice hobby you have here."</p>
<p>Sharon smirked and looked back to Natasha, "Our friends are here. Ready to watch the last fight."</p>
<p>Clint passed a glance to Natasha who quickly signed the word 'Russia'. His eyes narrowed in thought then confusion. Russians? They were here for Russians?</p>
<p>"Underground fighting? Russians?" Clint shook his head and lowered his voice, "What kinda favor is this?"</p>
<p>Natasha ignored him entirely, but Sharon was kind enough to at least give him a glance before ignoring him, "Last time I was here, I scoped it out. You should be fine. Everybody I saw was well below your skill level."</p>
<p>"I know. I'm up against the <em>Soldier</em>." Sharon rolled her eyes, "The moniker doesn't exactly mean much."</p>
<p>Clint fake gasped, "So you mean she <em>didn't</em> serve?"</p>
<p>Both women chuckled at his poor attempt at humor before Sharon walked away to get ready for the next fight. He pulled Natasha close and leaned his forehead against hers. Now they were just two lovebirds enjoying their date night out at a blood-soaked illegal basement. You know, the typical romantic date night.</p>
<p>"So, what's going on here?"</p>
<p>"There are Russians here looking to find a fighter for their ring back home." Natasha answered. "These Russians are rumored to have some information on a certain <em>someone</em>."</p>
<p>Clint didn't need more than three brain cells to figure out who this certain someone associated with shady Russian people were and why his good friend Captain America was interested in them.</p>
<p>James Buchanan Barnes.</p>
<p><em>The Winter Soldier</em>.</p>
<p>Now, the favor made sense. Steve was desperate to find his long lost best friend and these Russians were now the best lead he had. Who better to get the information for him than an ex-KGB agent turned bestie?</p>
<p>"Did Cap even request my help or am I just a tag along?" Clint smirked.</p>
<p>"It was my turn to plan date night, remember?" Natasha replied, letting the top of her nose brush against his. He chuckled and briefly pressed a kiss against her lips before pulling away to focus on his surroundings.</p>
<p>"We need to focus." Clint spoke before signing the second half<em>, 'Dealing with Russians is never fun.'</em></p>
<p><em>'I'm Russian.'</em> She signed back.</p>
<p>Clint grinned impishly, "Yeah, exactly."</p>
<p>The crowd slowly began to gather around again, and Sharon made her way to the middle of the make shift, concrete ring. An announcer came into the makeshift ring, "<em>Our newest fighter is trying to make a name for herself here!"</em> The crowd was losing its mind and Sharon lifted her hand with a nod. The announcer continued, "<em>But we all know who she's gotta beat in order for that to happen!"</em></p>
<p>The crowd across from them began to split and a young woman began to walk through the parted sea of people. She was small, no doubt shorter than 5'5 with a thin, athletic form, but despite her size she waltzed into the ring with a level of confidence Clint usually only saw in people who were in their natural habitat. This woman was a regular here, no doubt. Natasha's head tilted and he noticed Sharon stiffen and spare them a glance. Natasha leaned toward him, "I haven't seen her around. I don't know who she is."</p>
<p>"Small Fry is <em>back</em>, ladies and gentlemen, and she's <em>hungry</em> <em>for blood</em>!"</p>
<p>The woman looked worse for wear, like she had been fighting all night long. Her brown hair was pulled back into two messy braids that ended at the nape of her neck. She wore a black sports bra that covered her entire chest, up to her neck, and it matched her tight, black shorts. The woman's hands and arms were wrapped in tape that was covered in fresh and old blood stains. Her skin was lightly tanned but scattered with bruises and fresh scrapes. Her eyes were a light shade of blue, but there was a fire in them that didn't match the color.</p>
<p>"Small Fry?" Clint questioned the title. It wasn't exactly an intimidating nickname.</p>
<p>He watched curiously as the woman's lips slowly spread into a confident smirk. This wasn't just her element, she wasn't just a regular, this woman <em>owned</em> this ring.</p>
<p>"Nothing Sharon can't handle." Natasha shook her head, "After she wins the Russians will approach her and that's our chance."</p>
<p>The announcer cleared the area and the two women squared off. Sharon was a whole head and a half taller than her opponent. It was way too loud to hear them speak to one another, but Clint could easily read Small Fry's lips from here.</p>
<p>
  <em>'Welcome to the Pit. This ain't personal.'</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The new girl hit the ground again, <em>hard</em>, and this time she couldn't beat the struggle to get up. She collapsed onto her shaking arms and I let out a sigh of relief. Blondie here was an <em>actual</em> challenge. If she kept it up for a few more minutes, I might've been the one to not get up.</p>
<p>"You almost had me there, newbie. Nice moves." I spit out a mouth full of blood while the crowd cheered and passed out the winning bets. I walked over to offer her my hand. She turned her head to glare at me and ignored me the entire time she shakily tried to rise. Once she got to her feet, she stalked away without even acknowledging my hand. Wow, ok rude. I scoffed at her retreating form, "Nobody likes a sore loser!"</p>
<p>She ignored my words and faded into the crowd. I brushed it off and moved to leave the ring. My ears were still ringing from a punch the newbie managed to land on the side of my head, and my nose was still actively bleeding. Good news though, it didn't feel broken. If that wasn't a victory, I don't know what was.</p>
<p>"<em>Small Fry, I love you</em>!" Some random guy cried in my direction. I spat blood at his feet before he took a step closer to me. I didn't want to talk to anyone who stood around the ring watching me beat the shit out of other people.</p>
<p>As far as I was concerned, my obligation to be here was fulfilled and my night was officially over which meant it was time for ice, ibuprofen, and my pre-recorded episodes of <em>'Impractical Jokers'</em>.</p>
<p>My dumbass only got three steps closer to the backrooms when two men in suits slid into my view. The fact that I still thought I could leave this place easily was honestly just <em>dumb</em>.</p>
<p><em>I</em> was dumb.</p>
<p>I was the <em>dumbest</em> girl to ever <em>dumb</em>.</p>
<p>"Small Fry?" One asked in a heavy Russian accent.</p>
<p>I groaned, "Yeah, I guess that's me. What?"</p>
<p>"We have a special proposition for you, little one." The other said.</p>
<p>The look on their faces told me I couldn't just spit blood at their feet and get them to leave me alone. I blew out a puff of air and shrugged, "I'm going to go to my hole in the wall to take off this blood-stained sports bra. I'm not talking to anyone before then."</p>
<p>"<em>We</em>-"</p>
<p>"<em>I'm</em> still wearing a <em>blood-stained</em> bra!" I interrupted him with a mocking grin and slipped past them, "Meet me in Boss' office. It's around the corner. I think he has a mini fridge with drinks and snacks for <em>all</em> his shady best friends. Help yourself."</p>
<p>I marched on, and they didn't follow me to the back hallway. It was a dead-end hall with a few rooms coming off it. One was a bathroom, one was a room filled with security cameras and electrical shit, and one was a room just big enough for a couch and a gym bag with my stuff. The one good thing about being well-known and infamous around here was the fact that everyone knew if they touched my shit or came into my self-proclaimed room I would <em>crazy</em> murder them.</p>
<p>The red door was already ajar, and I pushed it open further to see a guy lounging on <em>my</em> ratty ass couch and a woman digging though <em>my</em> gym bag.</p>
<p>"God, today is just a <em>shit</em> day." I scoffed in exhaustion, "What the <em>fuck</em> are y'all doing in here? <em>Can I help you</em>?"</p>
<p>The woman, with short fiery red hair, was dressed in a skin tight gold dress that showed off every curve she had. At my words, she dropped my bag onto the ground nonchalantly and quirked a single eyebrow up at me, "So… <em>Small Fry</em>. I haven't seen you around here before."</p>
<p>"Then you haven't been around here much." I snapped back and yanked my bag off the ground with a glare.</p>
<p>I hit the guy's legs with my bag forcing him to pull them off the couch so I could sit. He gave me a cheeky grin and I briefly wondered if he had fought here tonight. There was a healing bruise at his dirty blond hairline and his lip was recently busted. Whereas the woman looked like a gorgeous supermodel, this guy looked like a beat-up hobo. A somewhat good-looking hobo, if you looked past the injuries which I was used to doing, but a hobo none the less.</p>
<p>"You haven't been here the past two weeks." The woman crossed her arms.</p>
<p>I used a rag to clean off my face then began to peel the blood-stained tape off my hands, "Actually, I haven't been here for the past <em>three and a half</em> weeks. As much as my boss likes me fighting, I can't do it with a fractured ankle."</p>
<p>"Fractured ankle?" The guy leaned over to look at my feet. The left one had a wrap around it to keep it stabilized, "How'd it happen?"</p>
<p>I grinned at him, showing my, hopefully, blood-stained teeth in an attempt to convey my warning, "I got <em>curb stomped</em>. Wanna see how it feels?"</p>
<p>He chuckled, not fazed by me at all, "I already know how that feels, tiny."</p>
<p>"How are you even fighting on it?" The woman tilted her head.</p>
<p>"I heal fast." I sighed. Apparently, I wasn't going to intimidate them out of here. My knuckles were starting to ache, and I wished I had a bag of ice for them. Why were so many unknown people talking to me today? Why can't I just be at home right now? I popped a few pills into my mouth and then moved to undo the brace around my ankle. As soon as it was off that started to ache too.</p>
<p>God, I was just a <em>walking</em> ache.</p>
<p>"Well, we need to talk." The woman demanded.</p>
<p>"Aren't we <em>already</em> talking?" I grabbed my clean shirt and threw it on. Changing into a new bra wasn't going to happen right now apparently.</p>
<p>"You weren't supposed to win that last fight. Our agent was supposed to."</p>
<p>The words made me pause in the process of sliding my sweatpants on. <em>Agent</em>. She just used the word agent. I gave both of them another glance. It was only then that I noticed they gave off a different kind of vibe from the usuals around here. Despite the woman looking like she just stepped off a runway, she gave off a <em>dangerous</em> energy. Like she could easily take off one of her stripper heels and murder me with it without batting an eye. Even the guy, who was casually lounging on my couch, still held the body language of someone who was ready to leap into action if it was needed. His shoulders were tight and there was a slight edge to his grin and pretty blue-gray eyes.</p>
<p>If I hadn't been so distracted by being annoyed maybe I would've noticed it sooner.</p>
<p>"Who are you people?" I stood up, made sure my sweatpants were in place, and got ready for a fight if there was one to come. I wasn't exactly in the best position, with one of them on either side of me, but that was my own fault.</p>
<p>The guy chuckled and stood with his hands held up in mock surrender, "Calm down, we're not here to fight you. We actually need your help."</p>
<p>"We wouldn't <em>need</em> her help if she hadn't <em>ruined</em> everything." The woman replied coolly.</p>
<p>"Well, maybe you should've gotten a better fighter for the pit." I smiled back at her without amusement.</p>
<p>The guy walked past me so he could stand by the woman's side. He slung his arm around the stiff woman's shoulders, and I shifted so I was facing both. The odds really weren't in my favor at all if they did attack, but this was better. He spoke, "Sharon actually is one of our best. So, congrats there." He gave me a thumbs up and I narrowed my eyes in confusion. God, these people were weird. "Anyways… I'm Clint, this is Natasha, and we need you to help us trick some Russians."</p>
<p>I blinked, "You need me to <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"Trick some Russians." Clint said it slower and drew out each word as if I just simply didn't hear him. "It was supposed to be our person, but since you ruined that now we gotta scramble."</p>
<p>They were obviously talking about those two sketchy ass Russians who came up to me before I came in here. My tired mind tried to connect dots and clues while ignoring my screaming body who only wanted sleep and ice. They were throwing words like '<em>agent' </em>around, they were definitely dangerous, and they apparently were also fighting Russians?</p>
<p>"Yeah, ok." I shrugged and crossed my arms with a defeated sigh.</p>
<p>The Natasha woman narrowed her eyes at me in suspicion and Clint just looked shocked. She shook her head, "Just like that?"</p>
<p>"The way I see it, y'all are probably agents of the CIA or FBI or that weird group who fights aliens and cleaned up New York after they attacked or whatever. The one that's always on TV for something or another. Plus, those Russians looked like <em>assholes</em>, and I figure the faster I help you <em>fools</em>, the faster I can go home and pass the fuck out." The two of them shared a look, and I ignored it to continue, "So come on, what do you want me to do?"</p>
<p>Clint stepped closer with a grin, "What's your name, tiny?"</p>
<p>"Well it's <em>not</em> tiny." I rolled my eyes, "Aj. Call me Aj."</p>
<p>"<em>Aj</em>." Nat came closer and I could feel my body tense up. If anyone in this room was going to snap and kill me, it was definitely her. She held out her hand and I hesitantly took the small disk she was trying to hand me. It was black and smaller than my nail. "We just need you to get this onto one of their phones. Stick it to the back and we'll do the rest."</p>
<p>I scoffed, "Yeah, I'm sure they won't notice this."</p>
<p>"It'll do fancy techno stuff and turn invisible or some shit." Clint shrugged, "Just trust us."</p>
<p>I stared at the item in my hand, "Uh huh, trust the two <em>crazy</em> people who broke into my changing room."</p>
<p>"This is a <em>broom</em> <em>closet</em>." Nat replied.</p>
<p>"Well, it's <em>my</em> broom closet." I mumbled and turned to leave.</p>
<p>Clint grabbed my arm, but he released it pretty quick. I wondered if he felt my entire body tense up at his touch. I didn't know this guy. If he tried to touch me again, agent or not, I would drop his ass, "I know you don't know us, and I know you don't have any weight in this, but this is <em>important</em>. We're trying to save someone."</p>
<p>How desperate were these people to turn to me for this? I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, "No pressure or anything, right?"</p>
<p>"<em>Some</em> <em>pressure</em>." Clint smirked.</p>
<p>I sucked in a sharp breath before leaving the safety of my broom closet to deal with Russians. I really was the dumbest girl to ever dumb, damn it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"This is a <em>terrible</em> idea." Natasha sighed as she watched the video on her phone. Aj had slipped into the cozy office space where the Russians sat waiting for her. If she could just get the tracer on their phone, Natasha could pull out all the information they needed.</p>
<p>Clint leaned into her so he could see the video as well, "She can do it."</p>
<p>The girl had a <em>'can do'</em> attitude about her that Clint appreciated. There was an energy in her, even after all her fights, that <em>burned</em>. He actually had faith that she could do this.</p>
<p>Although, he was known for being wrong time to time.</p>
<p>"<em>Little one,</em> nice of you to join us finally!"</p>
<p>Aj sat across from them with a shrug, "It's actually '<em>Small Fry'</em>, but damn you were <em>so</em> close. Now, what the fuck do you people want?"</p>
<p>The larger of the two large men grinned, "Straight to the point. <em>I like this</em>. We want you to come fight for us. In Russia."</p>
<p>"Well shit, I haven't updated my passport in years."</p>
<p>"That won't be necessary."</p>
<p>Clint chuckled to himself. With the way these people typically worked a passport wasn't needed because they'd put her ass on a cargo plane at 2 AM between a block of drugs and stolen tech.</p>
<p>"Well, what's in it for me?" Aj leaned back in her seat and crossed one leg over the other. She was in control of the room here, or at least she was putting out the vibe that she felt that way.</p>
<p>Natasha hummed to herself, "She's obviously untrained and rough around the edges, but there's something there."</p>
<p>"Admit it, you like her." Clint grinned.</p>
<p>The Russians looked back and forth to each other before the same one spoke, "Who needs more than the honor of representing us?"</p>
<p>"<em>Honor</em>?" Aj let out a bark of laughter, "Honor doesn't get me out of bed in the morning, gentlemen. Let's talk cold hard cash."</p>
<p>"Hmm." The Russian nodded, "You earn by the fight. 50K."</p>
<p>"For the whole night?"</p>
<p>"For each fight, little one."</p>
<p>Aj gave a slow blink before collecting herself, "Yeah. 50K a fight. That's— That's <em>definitely</em> my usual. Sounds fair." She grinned to herself before leaning forward in her seat. The next words out of her mouth were spoken in a crappy, fake Russian accent, "<em>Plus, I've always wanted to go to Mother Russia and wrestle a bear</em>!"</p>
<p>The Russians didn't look overly amused, but Clint burst out in laughter before turning to Natasha, "I like her a lot."</p>
<p>"Of course, you do."</p>
<p>"Stark would like her too."</p>
<p>Natasha smirked, "More reason to make sure she never meets him."</p>
<p>The three of them spoke a little longer before Aj started to pat at her sweatpants with a furrowed brow. She groaned, "Shit, my phone must be at home. Can I borrow yours?"</p>
<p>"You want my phone?" The Russian immediately sounded skeptical and Clint tensed.</p>
<p>Shit, maybe he <em>had</em> been wrong.</p>
<p>Aj rolled her eyes, "Yeah, if I don't call Boss and let him know how tonight went immediately, he'll murder me and we'll never get to do shots of vodka together, <em>brother comrade</em>."</p>
<p>The Russians still seemed skeptical, but Aj was <em>just</em> shady enough in this setting that a weird level of trust could be given out to her. Clint tilted his head curiously. There was something about Aj he was still trying to figure out. He couldn't quite put his finger on it either, which annoyed him because he was usually very good at this. His job required him to be.</p>
<p>"She might pull this off." Natasha mumbled. Clint found himself rooting for Aj, and it wasn't just because their favor for Steve was on the line.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The Russian guy, who still hadn't given his name don't think I hadn't noticed, handed me his phone with a skeptical look. I winked at him and prayed that Clint guy hadn't exaggerated about the invisible qualities of this magic techno sticker or whatever. I stuck the flat disc onto the back of the phone as it was put into my palm and quickly started to type out Boss number.</p>
<p>It rang twice and then his creepy, annoying voice answered, "Who is this?"</p>
<p>"Me. I'm not dead." I replied.</p>
<p>"I don't quite like that tone, <em>pet</em>." He spat.</p>
<p>"Does this mean it's a bad time to ask you to sign my permission slip to go to Russia and fight bears?"</p>
<p>Before he could start barking at me, I leaned across the table and gave the phone back to the confused Russian who answered. They spoke for a few minutes, and I knew Boss was figuring out a way to get the money from these fights. I was still mentally considering running away in Russia. That was a feasible thing, right? I could fake my death. Poor Small Fry was eaten alive by a vodka fueled bear. Honestly, I had a weird amount of Russian themed jokes in my mind, and a good amount of them were kind of stigma based. Luckily the Russians hadn't killed me for them yet. That was cool.</p>
<p>The Russian hung up, "Your boss is ok with you fighting for us."</p>
<p>"Boss would send me to <em>Mars</em> if it meant he might make a penny off me." I shrugged and stood. "So? When's my flight?"</p>
<p>"We will come to you."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "Ok, <em>vague</em>. Later, gators."</p>
<p>Without waiting for another word, I breezed out of the room to head back to grab my bag. I wondered if the two agents would still be there or if they bailed. I suppose they'd need to know how this went, but I assumed they had eyes around to see it. Boss had cameras all over this place and if they could hack into a Russian's phone I'm sure they could hack into a cheap security camera.</p>
<p>"Not half bad, tiny." Clint's voice caught me off guard. He slipped his arm through mine and pulled me toward the exit. I let him, and once we hit the cold New York air he spoke again, "You actually pulled it off."</p>
<p>"Despite the rumors, I am quite incredible."</p>
<p>Natasha leaned against the alley way brick wall with my gym bag in hand, "It was a surprise to all of us."</p>
<p>"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Wendy." I mocked her colorful hair. It reminded me that I was starving. She handed me my bag with a shake of her head. Also, didn't get murdered for mocking the dangerous agent. Man, I was on fire tonight.</p>
<p>"Go home and get some rest. We'll see you in the morning." Clint grinned.</p>
<p>"Morning?" I wrapped the bag around my shoulders, "I have to see you people <em>again</em>?"</p>
<p>Clint gave my head a pat, "We have to make sure the Russians don't murder you once they find out some information has been hacked."</p>
<p>I tilted my head, "You <em>conveniently</em> didn't mention the <em>death</em> thing <em>before</em> I did this."</p>
<p>Natasha looked me up and down with confusion, "You don't sound as concerned as someone should."</p>
<p>"Have you seen my chosen career?" I raised an eyebrow at her, "And now I'm gonna walk home <em>in the dark</em> to where I live above a drug dealer and next to an exotic animal zoo."</p>
<p>Clint grinned, "Exotic animal zoo?"</p>
<p>"Don't ask." I held a hand up and started to walk away. Maybe I should be more worried about homicidal Russians, but honestly, I was just too tired. Tired from the fights. Tired of the Pit. Tired of Boss. <em>Just tired</em>. "Guess I'll see y'all bright and early."</p>
<p>I didn't bother telling them where I lived. I'm sure they had their sources.</p>
<p>"Just try not to get yourself killed before we see you again." Natasha called after me.</p>
<p>"Hah. I'm <em>not</em> that lucky."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Best Kind of Food is Free Food</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
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</p>
<p> </p>
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<p>
  <em>"After a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert. As if the danger might return at any moment." -Unknown</em>
</p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Unsurprisingly, I woke up in a lot of pain.</p>
<p>Surprisingly, it wasn't the pain itself that startled me awake.</p>
<p>There was someone in my room. I could feel it and it left the hairs on the back of my neck stiff and standing on edge. With slow movements I kept my back facing whoever was staring at me but shifted my hand to under the pillow. To whatever dead man snuck into my apartment it'd look like I was just shifting in my sleep. My hand wrapped around the wooden handle of the knife I always slept on.</p>
<p>"If you're planning on attacking, I wouldn't recommend it."</p>
<p>Oh, for <em>fuck's</em> sake.</p>
<p>I let go of the knife and rolled over. The redheaded, gorgeous spy from last night was leaning against my dresser. She was less dressed up then she was last night having traded in the gold, shimmery dress for a pair of black leggings and navy hoodie that was too big for her.</p>
<p>"Wow." I grumbled and sat up to stretch the kinks out of my back, "You're a super secret agent. Isn't breaking and entering beneath you?"</p>
<p>Natasha, if I remembered her name correctly, smirked, "Is it really breaking and entering if you left your front door unlocked?"</p>
<p>"Touché."</p>
<p>"Plus, we did say we'd see you in the morning."</p>
<p>"Didn't mention you'd sneak into my apartment to do it." I mumbled under my breath to myself. It was much, much too early for this shit. The agent didn't move from her spot as I rolled out of bed. My face ached something fierce and I assumed most of that pain came from my last fight of the night. I had their agent friend to thank for that.</p>
<p>Not paying the agent any mind, I stumbled into my small bathroom to wash my face. For the pain I felt, I actually didn't look too bad. A busted lip, a black eye, and the faint tracings of a bruised cheekbone on the opposite side of my face. Nice. I shut the bathroom door and went about my morning routine of using the bathroom then brushing my teeth. When I came back out, Natasha was still leaning against the dresser with her arms crossed. Her short, red hair looked like a halo of flames surrounding her face with the sun coming through the window on it.</p>
<p>"Not gonna lie, I was kinda hoping you had been a hallucination."</p>
<p>She shook her head, "We aren't." Natasha pushed herself off the dresser and motioned around, "For someone who fights as well as you do, I thought your place would be nicer. Don't you get paid for the rounds you win?"</p>
<p>I barked out a laugh and pointed at her with my hand in the shape of a finger gun, "That's funny." Natasha raised an eyebrow at me as I continued to chuckle and dropped my hand, "And that's <em>not</em> how that works."</p>
<p>Ignoring her gaze, I opened my bedroom door to walk out into the rest of my shoebox apartment. The guy from last night, Clint, was standing by my bookshelf in jeans, a t-shirt, and a worn-out jacket. He raised his hand in a cheerful greeting, "Morning!"</p>
<p>"Aw, you break into my house, but you're too much of a gentleman to actually come into my room?" I shot him a mocking grin, "And they say chivalry is dead."</p>
<p>Clint smiled back cheekily, "I live to please."</p>
<p>I passed him to move into my tiny kitchen and began to dig through the cabinets looking for medicine. As I pulled out a rather large bottle of ibuprofen, my eyes caught a glance of Clint moving his hands quickly to Natasha. He was signing. It had been a very long time since I've seen someone signing and even longer since I had signed to anyone myself, but I managed to pick up a few things. Like <em>'all clear'</em> and '<em>found nothing'.</em></p>
<p>"You <em>dug</em> through my shit?" I asked loudly and Clint had the decency to look a little ashamed.</p>
<p>"You know ASL." He realized, his shame quickly turning to surprise.</p>
<p>"And <em>you</em> are a nosy <em>asshole</em>. I take back my compliment about chivalry."</p>
<p>Clint chuckled, "Too late, it already went to my head."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and popped three pills into my mouth, dry swallowing them. The two agents were looking at each other now, and it seemed like they were communicating without using a single word. Spoken or signed.</p>
<p>"So, can you say your piece now rather than later? I wanna go back to bed." I glanced at the clock behind me that read 9:34 AM, "Y'all woke me up like 4 hours too early."</p>
<p>Clint glanced at Natasha one more time before grinning back at me, "Can I interest you in some breakfast?"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>My usual places for breakfast were the local Waffle House, a little diner at the end of my street where the owner pitied me and sometimes gave me free bacon, or if I was feeling really glamorous the bar I lived above. After quickly getting dressed in my least ratty and torn jeans and tank top with a jacket, the Agents had pulled me straight out of my comfort zone and into the nicer part of the city. Natasha had bailed saying she had an errand to run, and that left me sitting at a small table with Clint on an outdoor patio of a brunch place that was leaps and bounds out of my price range.</p>
<p>The people around us had <em>dogs</em> with more to their names than I did.</p>
<p>"<em>Holy shit</em>." I mumbled as the hostess poured us glasses of water and told us our waiter would be right with us. Clint just chuckled at my reaction. "The menu doesn't even show how much the food cost, so you know it's as expensive as hell."</p>
<p>Clint nodded, "They have spicy bacon here and it's honestly <em>life changing</em>."</p>
<p>Our waiter came by and after taking our order for two coffees, he looked to me for our food order. I glanced at Clint and motioned to the menu, "Are you paying for this? Actually, don't answer. I've already assumed." I looked back to the waiter, "I'm gonna have the Creole Omelet with a side of biscuits and gravy and then an additional side of that spicy bacon y'all got. Also, I'll take a plate of French Toast."</p>
<p>"Double that order." Clint said while setting a black card in front of me. The waiter took our menus and left as I picked up the dark American Express card with the name <em>'Tony E. Stark'</em> written on it. My eyes widened in surprise and Clint just chuckled, "Brunch is on Iron Man today."</p>
<p>"<em>Sir</em>!" I called out after our waiter who hadn't gotten too far. He came back over with a smile, "Hi, yeah, when you bring our coffees can you also bring us those bottomless mimosas?"</p>
<p>"Of course."</p>
<p>Iron Man, huh? I guess that confirmed that officially. Not CIA or FBI. The third option. Alien fighting government weirdos. I handed the card back to Clint, "I can get used to y'all breaking and entering if it means my morning starts like this."</p>
<p>"Speaking of, why <em>don't</em> you lock your door? Seems reckless."</p>
<p>"I ain't got nothing worth stealing. Besides, the only people who have ever visited me seem to be you and Agent Natasha and I doubt locking my door would've stopped you people."</p>
<p>Clint nodded once and didn't press further about that, but he did continue to grill me on things not involving the Russians, "How do you know ASL?"</p>
<p>"What does me knowing ASL got to do with the Russians who are gonna make me fight in the winter Soviet wonderland?"</p>
<p>Rather than answering, Clint began to sign to me. He moved his hands slower and I wondered if he knew I was rusty. I had missed the beginning, but he signed something along the lines of, <em>'—got plenty of time. Amuse me.'</em></p>
<p>"I needed foreign language credits in college, and they offered ASL." I shrugged, "I already knew a little bit, so it seemed like an easy A."</p>
<p>"That was kind of a non-answer. I mean you left <em>a lot</em> out." Clint replied. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he continued, "I've got severe hearing loss. The aids help." He tapped his ear and I only then noticed the very small device sitting in his ear canal, "Especially the ones Stark made. Plus, I can lip read pretty well. ASL comes in handy though… like you wouldn't believe."</p>
<p>He was telling me a bit about him so I would tell him a bit about me. I knew the trick and I knew what he was playing at. What I didn't understand was why he cared enough to dig for information. Maybe it was a secret agent thing? He couldn't <em>help</em> but want to know <em>everything</em>. The more I thought about it though the more I didn't really care. It wasn't like I'd be seeing more of him once all this Russian nonsense was over.</p>
<p>"I was in a lot of Foster homes as a teen. Bounced around because I was… <em>problematic</em>." I shrugged and didn't add that the only reason I was problematic was because the people I loved most in my life had abandoned me and left me to rot alone in piss poor homes. "The last home they shipped me to… it was the only one I considered home. There was a woman there. <em>Rosie</em>. She took good care of me. She worked with deaf kids at the local school and taught me a little. When I moved out for college and saw they taught ASL…"</p>
<p>Clint nodded once, "It reminded you of her."</p>
<p>The waiter came with our coffees and two flutes of mimosas. I chugged the one he handed me without hesitation and ignored the look of shock written on our waiter's face.</p>
<p>This is why I couldn't have nice things.</p>
<p>He mumbled he'd be back with more and I wrapped my hands around the hot mug of coffee that offset the slight chill hanging in the late Fall air.</p>
<p>"Figured learning ASL would be a good reminder of her and that time."</p>
<p>"I'm sure she's very proud."</p>
<p>"Maybe." I took a hesitant sip of the hot coffee, trying not to burn my tongue before I got to eat my nice, fancy meal, "Haven't seen or talked to her since I left Alabama so…"</p>
<p>Clint took a long sip of his coffee, seeming unbothered by the temperature, "Is now a good time to ask why you're involved with the fighting ring here in New York? Especially since you're from <em>Alabama</em>?"</p>
<p>"Fought in Alabama. Came to NYC for college and…" I paused and left out my acceptance into medical school that I had bailed on to have my face punched in repeatedly, "Got pulled into the ring here when I was looking for a quick way to make some money. Been with Boss ever since."</p>
<p>"Because of your debt." Clint said and my eyes widened slightly. "I figure that's how this ring runs. You earn money with each fight, but it goes to a debt you have rather than into your pocket. How much do you even make for yourself?"</p>
<p>I scoffed, "Not nearly enough." My thumb rubbed against the smooth coffee mug in my hand, "But it doesn't matter. I don't need much to get by, and I like fighting."</p>
<p>"You <em>like</em> fighting in that ring?"</p>
<p>"Maybe not in that ring per say. I mean I get respect there because they know what I can do and that's nice, but... I just—I just like fighting. Things are <em>clear</em> when I fight. Only thing I have to worry about in that moment is ducking and swinging."</p>
<p>Clint hummed in agreement, "I get that. You're good. I said that last night, but I'll say it again. You know what you're doing."</p>
<p>"Practice makes perfect or some shit like that."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The food came and Clint had to admit that this tiny, fearless underground fighter had good taste. Everything she had ordered came out <em>amazing</em>. He also didn't expect her to be able to actually finish it all, since she technically ordered three separate dishes, but she was halfway through and still going strong. Clint had no idea where she was even putting it all.</p>
<p>She had told him some about herself after he shared a piece of himself, but there was a look in her eye he recognized. It was the look of someone planning to run. Aj was talking to him, opening up, but her eyes told him she didn't plan on making him more than a stranger that once bought her breakfast. Everything she said seemed to be true though. It matched up to everything him and Natasha had dug up on her last night at least.</p>
<p>Though she had left out some pretty major details. Like the fact that her mother died when she was young and that her father had abandoned both her and her sister never to be seen or heard from again. Aj had mentioned the foster homes she bounced to and from, but she didn't say a word about her older sister who had been there with her briefly before aging out and leaving on her own. Aj talked about her college years here in NYC, but she didn't touch on the topic of her acceptance into Medical School or why she chose to ignore said acceptance in order to work for an underground fighting ring that didn't even value her full potential.</p>
<p>Clint was getting pieces of the story, and the more he heard the more interested he was in it all. Natasha would scold him and tell him he had a bad habit of adopting pity cases that wanted nothing to do with him. So far though, his gut feelings on those cases were never wrong and he didn't regret a single metaphorical adoption. In fact, a part of him was mentally drafting the adoption papers in the back of his mind and trying to come up with a speech to explain to Fury and Coulson why it was so important he took this tiny, fireball under his wing.</p>
<p>"I'm <em>never</em> going to be able to eat at Waffle House again without <em>crying</em> a little inside." Aj groaned with a mouthful of food, "I've <em>never</em> had food this good. I swear. Part of me thinks I died last night, and this is all some death induced dream."</p>
<p>Clint chuckled, "We can make this a weekly thing. I'm always down to steal money from Stark and eat good breakfast foods."</p>
<p>Aj smiled in response, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. She grabbed her mug and took a sip of their fresh coffee, "So are you done stalling? Can we talk about the Russians now?"</p>
<p>"Nothing to talk about." Clint smirked. "They're gonna contact you with a meet point, we'll intercept, and you'll probably never have to see them again."</p>
<p>She fell still across the table, her entire frame stiff, and Clint barely caught sight of the mug trembling in her tight grip before she set it down quickly and buried her hands in her lap. Aj cleared her throat, "What do you mean I won't see the Russians again?"</p>
<p>"I mean… you won't see them again?" Clint said slowly, confused, "Do you <em>miss</em> them? Because if you're looking for friends I gotta say they aren't the greatest choice—"</p>
<p>"Boss thinks I'm gonna be fighting for them." She snapped, interrupting his rambling. "That means he thinks he's gonna get a <em>huge</em> influx of <em>cash</em>." Aj's light blue eyes burned into him, an inferno that didn't quite match the color, "If I don't get him that money it's on <em>my</em> head. Even if I tell him the Russians were <em>arrested</em> or some <em>shit</em> he'll still make me—"</p>
<p>Clint held his hands up in mild surrender, "Hey, hey, hey. We'll <em>fix</em> it. Make a fake trail, get you the money. I <em>promise</em>."</p>
<p>This seemed to placate her marginally, but Clint could tell she was still mulling all this over in her head. A part of him wanted to offer to pay off her debt fully and get her out of the ring. It wasn't like they didn't have the money to do it and taking down the fighting ring would be a walk in the park mission for SHIELD. Something told him that she wouldn't take the offer very well though, so he just kept it to himself. Maybe he'd talk to Nat about it later.</p>
<p>The waiter came back around and refilled their mimosas and coffee. When he left, Clint changed the conversation to something light in hopes to course correct the mood. Aj, probably wanting to not talk about this shit either, followed his lead and the awkward edge that had filled the air disappeared. For a moment, they just sat at the table talking like two friends at brunch who hadn't seen each other in ages.</p>
<p>Clint was in the middle of a story when he heard a familiar whistling in the air. Before he could even groan at the interruption, the Iron Man suit landed beside the table with a loud '<em>thunk'</em> that shook the entire balcony. Everyone around them squealed in surprise before pulling out their phones and cooing over the suit. Clint rolled his eyes at the blatant adoration, but mid-way they landed on Aj who had a death grip on her butter knife. She sat stock still, shoulders relaxed, but he could see the tension in her eyes as she kept the butter knife wielding hand resting on the table. There wasn't much she could do with the dinky weapon, but it gave Clint another huge clue about who she was. It told Clint that she was a fighter. He knew that really, saw it first hand last night, but this was more than just someone who would go to arms in a ring against some sketchy character. This was someone who wouldn't lay down and surrender to anyone. She'd go to war with only a butter knife if she had to.</p>
<p>"So, why is it that I'm being <em>charged</em> for a brunch I wasn't even <em>invited</em> to?" The gold and red mask slid up and Tony's warm, brown eyes darted from Aj to Clint and then quickly back to Aj, "I don't know who you are."</p>
<p>"I know who <em>you</em> are." She replied back with ease. Aj used her free hand to lift up her mimosa glass in a mock cheer, "Thanks for breakfast. Their spicy bacon is hella good."</p>
<p>Tony nodded once, "You should try their vanilla and cinnamon pancakes. Real fluffy." Clint cleared his throat and the eccentric man looked back to him. Tony reached over to pick up Clint's mimosa glass, "You know, if you're gonna take a <em>gorgeous</em> woman on a date, the least you could do is pay for it yourself, Katniss."</p>
<p>"Does that make this <em>our</em> first date then?" Aj questioned with a slight tilt to her head.</p>
<p>Tony, eager to have someone new to banter with, turned back to her and they went back and forth with witty, but flirty, comments. It dawned on Clint then. She was <em>mirroring</em>. Aj was parroting back the same energy anyone offered her as a way of lulling them into a sense of false security. Natasha was all business and snark with the girl so Aj kept it simple and blunt. Clint was all jokes and laughs so she joked back with him. Now Tony? He couldn't help but flirt with a new pretty face so Aj flirted right back. She'd mirror her personality to trick her opponent. Make them think she was complacent. Aj was smiling at Tony, nothing but charm and amusement on her face, but her true feelings were shown in the white knuckled fist around the butter knife.</p>
<p>"—come by the tower sometimes. I'll give you the full tour."</p>
<p>Clint focused back in on their conversation.</p>
<p>Aj nodded with a smirk, "I'll hold you to that, Mr. Stark."</p>
<p>"Tony. Just Tony." He grinned back.</p>
<p>Tony finally looked back to him and Clint lifted a hand to his chest, his eyebrows raised in false surprise, "<em>Oh</em>! Am I allowed to be part of the conversation now?"</p>
<p>"Keep the card, Barton." Tony downed the rest of his mimosa and left Clint with the empty glass, "If this is our first date you gotta end it right. Buy her a purse or something." He winked at Aj once before the mask slid down, "<em>Later</em>."</p>
<p>The suit took off and Aj's grip on the knife loosened. She turned to him, ignoring the still gushing crowd, "Does he always buy his dates something absorbent and expensive?"</p>
<p>"Depends on if he plans on seeing them again."</p>
<p>"Me getting a purse or something… does that mean he expects to see me again?"</p>
<p>Clint grinned at her, "I'll let you think on that. Self-reflection is good for the soul, I hear."</p>
<p>She shrugged once and went back to her coffee. Clint kept his gaze on her curiously. The more he heard the more he wanted to know. She was his newest case and not even Nat was gonna shake him off it until he got the answers he wanted.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>I rolled my shoulders and grinned at the expensive leather jacket I now wore. Tony Stark, the crazy ass billionaire I apparently know on a first name basis now, had said to buy me a purse or something and I picked the something option. It wasn't like I had much use of a fancy purse. What was I gonna put in it? Bloody bandages and my zero-dollar salary?</p>
<p>All things considered though today was a pretty good day. Granted the breaking and entering this morning had been unusual, but the rest of the morning and afternoon had been spent eating fancy food, buying an expensive jacket, which I had come to the decision that it meant I wouldn't be seeing Stark again, and hanging out with Clint. For a secret agent or whatever he was a pretty chill guy. I didn't trust him at all, I knew he had to have some kind of ulterior motive, but he wasn't a bad conversationalist.</p>
<p>Clint and I had parted ways about an hour ago. He had to do whatever superheroes and friends did on a normal day and I had a couch to lounge on. Since I fought a marathon yesterday, I didn't have a fight today. It'd be nice to get off my feet and just relax for a change. Not often did I get a day off. Clint had said the Russians would contact me in probably a week and I wondered if I could talk Boss into giving the days leading up to it off. Probably not, but I was nothing if not desperate for some real damn sleep.</p>
<p>As I was mentally planning what I was going to watch on TV and which frozen dinner I was gonna heat up, a dark van popped the curb and screeched to a stop in front of me. It cut me off from running forward and there was no alley to my right to dip into. The door slid open and I recognized one of the Russian men. A cruel, excited grin pasted on his rough features. Adrenaline hit me hard and I spun on my heel to run, I knew when my chances of winning a fight were low, but they must have assumed I'd do that since I ran right into the chest of the other Russian I had met. I swung my elbow up to catch him under the chin, but he blocked it and punched me once in the chest hard. All the air left my lungs and I stumbled back into another chest. Large arms wrapped around me and lifted me up in the air.</p>
<p>Still struggling to catch a breath, I threw my head back, smashing it against the guy's face, and managed to loop my foot around his leg when he stumbled forward in pain. I yanked on my foot enough to get my feet back on the ground and then I gripped his arms with my hand and bent myself at the waist hard to flip him over. The Russian hit the ground hard and I went to kick him in the face to knock him out when something sharp hit me in the abdomen. Before I could grab at it, or even register what was happening, an electric current went through me.<em> Fucking taser</em>. With gritted teeth I fell to my knees and struggled to get the barbs out of my skin. When I finally did, I glanced up just in time for a blunt object to make contact with the side of my head.</p>
<p>My vision went black and I felt myself falling to the side, almost what felt like in slow motion, and all I could think was how fucking tired I was. My head hit the concrete with a loud crack that echoed in my skull and there was finally nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sparkly Blue Pants and The Will to Live</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p> </p>
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<p>
  <em>"I let my body learn, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I let my body learn </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>to enjoy the flames." -Unknown</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When I came to everything was blurry. <em>Fuzzy</em>. I felt nauseous and my head was literally throbbing with pain. A small gasp left my lips when I went to move. Oh boy, did I hurt. I shakily lifted a hand to my head above my ear where the pain was the worst. The skin was torn, and my skull had to be cracked. I couldn't feel the fracture, but something wasn't right. My hand went to my ear where dried blood was pasted against my face from the canal. <em>Fuck</em>, definitely fractured.</p>
<p>"Good morning, Kroshka." A cheery voice called out and I flinched.</p>
<p>
  <em>Focus, focus, focus.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You weren't out of this yet.</em>
</p>
<p>I forced myself to sit up and look around. Through the blur I could tell I was in a small room. Some kind of office with red carpet and dark furniture. Two men stood over by the desk with a third seated behind it. He was talking. He had been talking. How had I missed that? I sucked in a sharp breath and tried to hone in on what was happening.</p>
<p>"<em>Pathetic</em>." Now <em>that</em> voice I recognized.</p>
<p>"Hey Boss." I called out with a pained laugh. I rubbed at my eyes and slowly the world was starting to come into focus. The two men standing by the desk were the ones who literally kidnapped me, and the guy sitting behind the desk was bald with a thick beard and wore an expensive suit. In front of the bald man, he had turned his laptop around, and I could see Boss' weasel like face in the screen.</p>
<p>The men marched toward me and scooped me up to set me in a plush single seat chair. I glanced at the one who I had known hit me over the head with something hard, "I don't wanna hurt your feelings because I'm sure you consider yourself a professional, but usually cracking the skull of your fighter before they fight is a <em>bad</em> move."</p>
<p>"<em>Shut your mouth, pet</em>." Boss snapped and I lazily looked back over to him. He was pissed about something, but he was always pissed about something. "<em>So, is it true?"</em></p>
<p>A wave of nausea rolled over me, courtesy of the concussion, and I forced myself to shrug, "Is what true? Gotta be a little more specific than that, man."</p>
<p>"<em>Have you been talking with two secret agents from SHIELD!?"</em></p>
<p>Oh, shit. This was bad. I would be worried about my face giving me away, but since I was just sitting here with a pained look of '<em>trying not to black out again'</em> I figured I was fine. Quickly, I shook my head then stopped with regret, "I have?" I glanced at the one of the Russians standing next to me with a shrug. "I mean, how am I supposed to know? <em>Secret</em> agents and all."</p>
<p>The guy backhanded me, and I saw stars. If my brain wasn't already bleeding, I had a strong feeling it was about to start. I gasped, desperately trying to suck air in, and block out the waves of pain that washed over me.</p>
<p>"<em>It's true then. You're working for the Avengers</em>."</p>
<p>I let out a laugh that sounded more like a groan, "Working with is a stretch. They aren't even paying me. <em>Actually</em>—" I motioned to the laptop. "You're not paying me either. <em>God</em>, I made some poor choices in my life."</p>
<p>"<em>Yes, you have and your last one was choosing to side with </em>them."</p>
<p>"Well, Iron Man <em>did</em> buy me this cool jacket—"</p>
<p>Backhanded again. I slumped over in my seat. I was awake, conscious, but I felt like I was lying on my back in a giant, warm pool. Sounds were muffled and for one second I was too out of it to even register the pain. It didn't last though. It never lasts. I was sucked back into reality when one the Russian men grabbed my hair and pulled me back up in my seat.</p>
<p>"<em>You're no longer my problem to deal with. I actually got a fairly good deal from my new associates for you."</em> Boss laughed. "<em>My favorite cash cow as always</em>."</p>
<p>"And here I thought I'd be clearance priced." I mumbled the words out. It was getting hard to talk, to stay awake. Boss said something else, but I missed it entirely. That was kind of nice though. Whatever final thing that asshole had to say to me didn't even register in my very broken head. <em>Hah</em>.</p>
<p>The man behind the desk rose and it was only then I realized how huge he was. The guy had to be over 6'4 and he was built like a damn wall. Thick <em>everything</em>. He chuckled and knelt down in front of me. I forced myself to mumble again, "Are you the vodka bear I was promised to see?"</p>
<p>"<em>Little Bradshaw</em>." He cooed. I hated these men. Ones like Boss who looked at me like I was a prize they won at market. Like I was just walking, talking, fighting meat. "My name is Vladimir. I am <em>excited</em> to see you fight. I hear good things."</p>
<p>I actively worked to keep my eyelids from fluttering closed. I didn't want to be unconscious around them. That just sounded like a terrible idea.</p>
<p>"Remember what I said about cracking heads?"</p>
<p>Vladimir laughed at me, "That is no concern of mine. We don't need you to win. We just need a <em>dumb</em>American to lose."</p>
<p>"I've been told I play the role of dumb American…" I sucked in a breath, "<em>Very</em> well."</p>
<p>They said more words, but I was losing this fight against the darkness. I was scooped up again, on the move, and I tried to get a bearing for where I was at. It seemed like good future information to use, but it was beginning to blur again. Cold air hit me as they dragged me through a door and for one last second, I had a moment of clarity. Of knowing.</p>
<p>My last coherent thought was looking at the foreign signs and realizing I was not in America anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>As he stepped into the room, he heard Natasha's voice ring clearly, "I think it's a <em>little</em> bit our fault that she got kidnapped by <em>Russians</em>, Clint."</p>
<p>His feet came to a stop and he looked over the information flashing on the large screen in front of both agents he had grown to call friends. There was a search going on in the corner where JARVIS must have been looking or trying to triangulate something. Street camera photos of a young woman were plastered a small bit above it. Short brown hair, tired blue eyes, and a scowl that would send anyone trying to approach her running. And then, of course, there was the grainy video in the other corner playing on repeat. The video of two large men knocking said young woman out and dragging her into their van.</p>
<p>Clint and Natasha both suddenly turned to look at him. Natasha kept her usual cool demeanor. The only thing giving away her nonchalance was the wrinkle between her eyebrows. The wrinkle that usually showed up there when a mission was going south. Clint on the other hand had his jaw slack with surprise in his eyes.</p>
<p>The archer held up one hand, "Ok, so this looks bad."</p>
<p>"What is going on?" Steve crossed the room to get closer.</p>
<p>Natasha, her arms crossed over her chest, replied, "Remember that favor you asked of us?" He nodded once. "Well, that's what we're working on right now."</p>
<p>"And it involves…" Steve went to motion toward the pictures of the young woman, but as he got closer, he realized he recognized her. <em>Somewhat</em>. There was something different, but also something familiar. He just couldn't put his finger on it though.</p>
<p>Clint either ignored his troubled train of thought or didn't notice it at all, "It's kind of a long story."</p>
<p>"Sharon got her ass kicked so we asked a civilian to put a tracker on the Russians' phone and the Russians picked her up <em>way</em> too soon, and <em>way</em> too violent."</p>
<p>Clint paused, "Ok, so not very long. <em>Very</em> bad though. We fucked up a little."</p>
<p>"You got a civilian kidnapped by Russians." Steve shook his head and spoke firmly, his as Tony puts it '<em>Captain America voice'</em> slipping out, "That's more than a little, Barton." The agents looked back to the screen and Steve sighed, "Have you found where she is <em>now</em> at least?"</p>
<p>"Russians took her phone so we can't track that. We're trying to go through the cargo planes leaving the area to see if we can track her, but…" Natasha twisted her lips in frustration. "It's been about 12 hours since this happened. Best case scenario is that she's in Moscow right now so."</p>
<p>"<em>That's</em> best-case scenario?" Steve shook his head.</p>
<p>"Worst case is they, uh, <em>took care</em> <em>of her</em> here." Clint explained. His voice didn't give himself away, but Steve could see how stiff the archer sat in his seat. Clint was usually the guy to lounge on whatever surface he sat on whether it be a chair, couch, or to Tony's dismay the kitchen counter. Right now though, he sat up straight with tense shoulders. He was worried.</p>
<p>Steve dragged his eyes back to the screen while the agents discussed more details of what they could do. There was a file open on screen with information and he read over the name, '<em>Aimee Jane Bradshaw'</em>. It didn't sound like a name he had heard or said before. Still, there was something in her intense, ice blue eyes that looked very, <em>very</em> familiar to him. He crossed his arms and resisted the urge to shake his head.</p>
<p>This was his fault.</p>
<p>Whoever she was, however he recognized her, didn't really matter all that much at the end of the day. His futile search for his best friend got her caught up in it, and now she was at the mercy of a very dangerous group of people. When Sam Wilson told him that his search came up empty maybe he should've taken that as a sign that Bucky didn't want to be found right now. Steve just couldn't let it go though, and now an innocent civilian could be getting killed or worse by these Russians.</p>
<p>If she wasn't already dead then she was probably terrified out of her mind and in pain and that was all on him.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em>Fuck you, motherfuckers</em>." I spat the blood in my mouth at them. The two men in front of me, ones I didn't recognize, didn't seem to blink at my outburst. As if this was just another normal day at the office for them. Hell, it probably was. I was in a dressing room of some kind. I assumed it was a dressing room because there was a mirror against the wall and one couch. That was it. Oh, and of course the wooden chair in the middle of the room I was tied to. That seemed like a vital piece of the furniture set here.</p>
<p>When I woke up for the second time, I had found myself tied to the chair. That was the <em>bad, bad</em> news. The <em>good, bad</em> news was that I was thinking clearly. The concussion induced haze had lifted from my brain. And then the <em>just bad</em> news was that I was hurting and hurting <em>bad</em>. That was a typical Thursday for me though so maybe it didn't even count as news.</p>
<p>My head still throbbed violently, the concussion was ever present, but I wasn't dead. That blow to the skull hadn't killed me immediately and then I didn't die on the long plane ride to Russia and I <em>also</em> didn't die the second time I blacked out. That probably meant I was going to live. Well, <em>live</em> was a strong word. I <em>probably</em>wasn't going to die of a brain bleed. That was better phrasing.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Look at me." I continued to repeat until finally one of the men standing by the door made eye contact with me. "<em>Fuck you</em>."</p>
<p>Realistically, I should probably shut my mouth. Play nice and wait patiently while looking for a way out. That sounded like a lot of work through and I was tired. I was so fucking tired. The thought of holding in all the dumb shit I say sounded exhausting.</p>
<p>The guy's shoulders stiffened, but then the sound of the door unlocking filled the room. It swung open and Vladimir was here again holding a bag in his hand. It looked like something was inside the bag, so I hoped that meant he didn't plan on putting it over my head. Vladimir opened his arms open widely, "<em>Kroshka</em>!"</p>
<p>"I don't know what that pet name means but I swear to God if it's a <em>dig at my size</em>—"</p>
<p>Vladimir chuckled and pulled a knife from his belt under his suit coat. I stiffened and he smirked, but as he walked closer all he did was cut the ropes with his blade. Despite the ropes being thick he was able to slice through them with ease. He sat back up and placed the knife back, "Are you ready for the show, <em>Kroshka</em>?"</p>
<p>I blinked once in worry, rubbing my wrists where the rope rubbed into them, "Show?"</p>
<p>"It's time for you to fight!"</p>
<p>My entire mind went blank. I couldn't fight. Not right now. Sitting in this chair I felt steady enough to not immediately black out, but the moment I started moving it wasn't going to end well. I had fought through some pretty big injuries in the past, but never after a fucking skull fracture.</p>
<p>"I <em>can't</em> fight." I said firmly. "All that money you spent on me will be wasted. I'll <em>die</em> in the ring tonight."</p>
<p>"Nonsense. You fight, and when it becomes too much you lose." Vladimir shrugged and shoved the bag into my arms. He was asking me to throw the fight? That was one way to survive, I guess. Drop after the first hit, let the Russians laugh at the weak American, and then get dragged back to my cell where I could lie in the corner and sleep. "Put on uniform."</p>
<p>I stood and pulled the bag open, "<em>Uniform</em>?" The clothes inside were flashy with the bright, recognizable colors of the good ol' USA. I looked back up at him. "Not to sound dramatic, but I would <em>literally</em> rather die."</p>
<p>Vladimir raised an eyebrow at me, "We can arrange that."</p>
<p>"Right." I mumbled. "Forgot who I was talking to."</p>
<p>It looked like the outfit was tight, so I at least didn't have to worry about getting grabbed. The shorts were a glittery blue, and the sports bra had red and white stripes with a single black star in the center. Vladimir left with a chuckle and I stood there wondering why the universe hated me in particular. I tossed aside the bag then looked to the Russians. I spun my finger, indicating that they should turn around, but they just smirked at me.</p>
<p>I clenched my teeth and turned around. Still, I could feel their eyes on my back, and I made damn sure I wasn't in front of the mirror so they didn't get a view of my front too. Quickly, I shrugged out of the leather jacket, which had fared pretty well all things considering, and set it on the back of the wooden chair. Without thinking about the leering gazes watching me, I quickly slipped out of my jeans and pulled the tight shorts on. Then I ripped off my shirt and put the sports bra over my normal bra before unhooking it and pulling it out. I turned around slowly, dropping my bra, then flipped both men the bird.</p>
<p>The man to the left motioned for me to follow and I stalked after him. My feet were bare on the very, very cold concrete and that same cold seeped into my bones. There was a hair band around my wrist, thank God, and I messily pulled what hair I could into a small ponytail. The concrete hallway filled with light when a window came into view. I turned to look and saw rings and upon rings. It was like the one back home, but a <em>million</em> times worse.</p>
<p>Was this my life now? I traded Boss for Vladimir? Now I would wake up every morning to fight whatever they put in front of me. Entertaining the Russians as they watched the small, pathetic American get the shit kicked out of her. As that thought washed over me, another one hit me harder. I was going to die. Either today or tomorrow or the day after that or God knows when, but this concrete bunker was my <em>tomb</em>. I could throw fight after fight and survive for as long as possible, but that didn't change the end of my story.</p>
<p>This was it. This was the final chapter.</p>
<p>My hands curled up into tight fists.</p>
<p>If they wanted a show, I'd give them a show.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Bucky Barnes felt off kilter. Like his entire world was on an axis that kept tipping further and further. From the moment he pulled Steve out of the river, he felt lost. He wandered for a little while, trying to get the fog of whatever Hydra had done to him out of his head, but then wandering had turned to running. Running from the Government. Running from Hydra. Running from Steve.</p>
<p>Running from his <em>sins</em>.</p>
<p>It felt like every time he closed his eyes, he'd see another face. Another death at his hands. Months had passed since he last saw Steve, and thankfully his head felt clearer. Bucky felt like himself sometimes. The memories would resurface, remind him of what happened, and he'd spiral… but Bucky clung to those moments of clarity as tightly as he could.</p>
<p>His travels had taken him all the way over to Europe. He wandered around there for a little and then made his way to Moscow. Bucky had only been in Moscow a few weeks before he decided this wasn't where he wanted to settle for the time being. Romania would be a better bet, but before he could move on his way someone recognized him.</p>
<p>Bucky watched Vladimir walk back into the large lounge. Vladimir was a small time criminal. He ran fighting circles and had his hand in the drug scene, from what he heard, but Bucky had slipped up and the man caught a glimpse of his metal prosthetic. That was enough for him.</p>
<p>"<em>Sorry about that, I needed to prepare for the main event. New blood on the scene</em>." Vladimir said in his natural language and sat down on the plush seat beside him. A large window made up the wall so they could look down into the rings and watch the fights. In the center was the main arena. "<em>Where were we</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>You were asking for a favor</em>." Bucky replied, biting back a sigh. He leveled a glare on the man, "<em>But I'll stop you there, I don't do that anymore</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Excuse me</em>?" Vladimir growled.</p>
<p>"<em>That is no longer who I am</em>."</p>
<p>Vladimir was seething besides him, but Bucky was surprised when he suddenly relaxed and chuckled. He reached over and clapped him on the shoulder. Bucky stiffened at the touch, "<em>You enjoy the fight. You stay the night. We re-discuss tomorrow."</em></p>
<p>Bucky shrugged and leaned back in his seat. He could just leave. No person in this room would be able to stop him. Bucky could literally stand up, throw a few hits, and then walk out as if this had never happened. However, it was late, nearly 1 in the morning, and it was cold outside. It wasn't something he couldn't deal with, but why waste time searching for shelter when the idiot beside him was offering him a room?</p>
<p>There was a loud cheer from the crowd below and Bucky sunk in the soft seat.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The room was so loud that I could hear it through the concrete walls. Hell, I could almost feel the vibrations under my feet. Knowing that these guys probably weren't going to give me time to stretch, I started rolling my shoulders. I pulled on my arms, making sure to stretch them out best I could. An announcer like voice was yelling loudly. The guy beside me stood to the side holding his head tilted as if he was waiting for a cue. I turned to him and pointed to my hands, "Hey, <em>shithead</em>. I need tape."</p>
<p>He ignored me entirely and I motioned to my bare arms again. Instead, he swung the door open and we were hit with a wall of '<em>boos'</em> and jeering yells. The guy dragged me down a narrow area and I tried not to look at the crowd on either side of me screaming. I didn't speak Russian, but I could gauge the feel of the room. It was kind of ironic. I spent my nights in the Pit being treated the best an illegal fighter could be treated. Yeah, Boss kicked me around, but I was respected by the patrons and other fighters.</p>
<p>Yet, here I was, my <em>final</em> fight and I was getting <em>screamed</em> at. Something wet splashed against my arms and it smelled distinctly of beer. I let the man drag me to the edge of their ring. It was the same size as the pit, but this one had a fence surrounding it to separate from the crowd. On the other side of me, was a beast of a blonde woman. She was much taller than me and had arms as thick as her thighs. Jesus Christ, what did Russians put in their water?</p>
<p>"<em>Hey Helga</em>!" I yelled out over the noise. Picking the name from my list of stereotypes. I lifted my hands and pointed to them, "I need some tape. You got any I can borrow?" She just smirked and began to circle around the edge of the ring. I matched her pace and shook my head, "So that's a no?"</p>
<p>Helga roared and came at me with her full weight. I ducked under her arms and sent a few punches where her kidneys were. With that move alone, I knew something was wrong. I was moving slower than I usually did. Usually I could get in four good punches with that move but this time I only got three. Helga whipped around and swung her arms at me. Quickly, I ducked under them again and scrambled back to put distance between us.</p>
<p>Already, I was breathing hard.</p>
<p>My head pounding even more.</p>
<p>
  <em>Focus, focus, focus.</em>
</p>
<p>Helga was big, but I could use that against her. Fighters who were her size relied on their brute strength. If I could just tire her out… She came for me again and I ducked and dodged under her punches keeping my hands up. At the quick movements, I started to see double. I slipped to the left and right into her punch; it sent me to the floor. The crowd roared and I cursed myself for dodging the wrong punch. Helga walked away from me throwing her hands up to rile the crowd up more.</p>
<p>I rested my forehead against the cold concrete for a second before pushing back up to my feet. Helga turned to grin at me. She pointed her taped up hand at me, "Are you ready to <em>suffer</em>, America?!"</p>
<p>I spat out the wad of blood in my mouth, "<em>Hey</em>." My voice wavered, but I stayed steady. "That's <em>Captain </em>America to you." I motioned to my outfit and she rushed at me again. "<em>Fuck</em>."</p>
<p>We started the dance all over again. Her lunging and me trying to weave around her. I could only keep it up for a couple seconds at time though before my brain screamed at me. I got a few good licks in. Broke her nose, busted her lip, and her face would probably be sore tomorrow, but that was it. She swung at me again and I ducked under it to put all my force and energy into a right uppercut up into her diaphragm.</p>
<p>Helga wheezed, the air leaving her, and she stumbled back. It was a solid hit. Getting hit in the diaphragm hurt like a bitch and it was disorienting. I tried to follow it up with a knee to her face as she stood hunched over, but I didn't have the strength. All my energy went into that punch, so my knee wasn't driven up nearly as hard as it should've been. Helga blocked it and before I could remember to lift my hands to cover my face, she punched me right where my skull fracture was.</p>
<p>My vision immediately went black and I felt myself hit the floor hard, but it didn't end. She was on top of me and all I could do was pathetically throw my hands up. Pain was everywhere. It didn't even feel like I was in my body anymore. It was dark, I was hurt, and I was tired. God, I just wanted to sleep. I was so sick of getting back up. I was so sick of being a punching bag. Helga hit me one more time in the face, hard, and then I felt her stand.</p>
<p>Slowly, my vision came back to me and it was like the world was moving in slow motion. All I could hear was a ringing, but I could see the blurry form of Helga pumping her fists in the air. What did I do so badly that the universe thought I needed to be punished like this? I was kind of an asshole, admittedly, but I wasn't evil. I tried to do the right thing every single day. Every single day I found one small thing to do to stave away the guilt that came from beating the shit out of strangers at night. The last good thing I did was help out two secret agents. It was a good deed and yet here I was lying in my own blood again.</p>
<p>Anger buzzed in my veins.</p>
<p>Fuck the universe.</p>
<p>Fuck karma or whatever it was that hated me so damn much.</p>
<p>And fuck these Russians bastards.</p>
<p>With a sharp, painful breath, I rolled over onto my stomach. The ringing was still in my ears, but I preferred it over the crowd. Blood leaked from my mouth as my nose brushed the concrete. My hands hurt, but I pressed my knuckles into the floor. With a cry of agony, I pushed myself up to my knees and then shakily rose to my feet.</p>
<p>Helga stared at me in shock. The ringing was starting to fade, and I realized the crowd had momentarily gone quiet. I was breathing through my mouth. That meant my nose was probably broken. My entire face hurt so badly that it was just one giant ache. I shook my arms out, steeled myself, and then lifted my hands to hold in front of my face. Helga chuckled and stepped toward me, her arms still down, "You just do not stay down, Kroshka."</p>
<p>"Yeah." I pushed the word out. My voice sounded wrong. "I get that a lot. Personal flaw, I guess. Nobody's perfect."</p>
<p>"I respect that." Helga nodded appreciatively. "Almost enough that I don't want to kill you."</p>
<p>"That's nice of you."</p>
<p>"Do you wish to continue?"</p>
<p>I spat out more blood, but still more ran down the back of my throat, "Why do you ask? Are you tired? We just started, Helga!"</p>
<p>Helga smirked and set one foot out in front of her, "Kroshka, you come and <em>kiss my feet</em>. Kneel in front of me, and I will not kill you tonight."</p>
<p>"Well as wonderful as that deal sounds…" I rolled my shoulders and clenched my teeth at the pain from the movement. "I'm really not good at following directions."</p>
<p>Helga marched forward, her pace picking up as she cocked back her arm for what she planned on being the last punch of the fight. With energy that I didn't know I had, I lunged forward quicker than her and threw my right elbow right up under her chin. Her arm flopped down as her teeth smashed together painfully. I didn't stop. I punched her in the throat, something I would never do back home since it was such a dirty move, but I was desperate. Helga gasped for air and I swung a punch into her ear. She threw her hands up, but I weaved around her and sent a front kick to her back. My heel dug into the base of her spine roughly and she stumbled forward onto her knees. Helga whipped around just as I lunged at her, caught me with a growl, and then slammed me into the ground.</p>
<p>I threw my hands up as she began to punch. I blocked most of them then suddenly dropped my hands. Her eyes widened slightly in confusion, one of her punches landed, but then I wrapped my hands around her neck and brought her down to me as I slammed my head up to hers. Nobody wins in a head butt, but my skull was a goner already so why not? Helga leaned back, dazed, and that gave me enough room to shove her off me and then get on top of her.</p>
<p>Then I went to town.</p>
<p>I sent punch after punch and I felt my knuckle crack against her face, but I didn't stop. Helga tried to block, but I used one hand to swipe away her block and hit harder. I was in such a daze that I almost didn't feel it. A hand tapping against my hip desperately. Helga had given up blocking to try and tap out. The rage inside me said keep going. Keep punching. But that wasn't me. That wasn't me. I stood up and stumbled backwards away from her. The crowd was booing again, unhappy with the results. Helga stayed on the floor, trying to catch her breath, and I fell back onto my ass. I tried to catch myself with my hands, but they were useless right now.</p>
<p>The adrenaline was fading. Reality was setting in.</p>
<p>I was lying on my back. Had I fallen the rest of the way down? I didn't even know. I just stared up at the round light hanging from the ceiling above me. The light was growing, spreading outward and enveloping everything around me. This was nice. If this was my final moment, I was ok with that. The light was warm, and it felt like falling asleep.</p>
<p>I was finally falling asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The guest room that Vladimir raved about was a small room with concrete walls and a bed pushed into the corner. The bed was a single with metal springs and a mattress as thin as Bucky's current patience. There was a bathroom however, but there was no door or shower. Just a dirty toilet, sink, and cracked mirror.</p>
<p>He leaned against the wall and wondered if it was even worth staying here. The door into the room was made of metal but had no guards since they thought the metal would be enough. Bucky could get through that easy though. With a sigh, he walked over to the bed and sat on it. The entire thing screech and he sunk down so low that his ass nearly touched the floor. Outside was looking better and better.</p>
<p>Bucky laid down to try and sleep, but the sound of the door unlocking made him pause. He sat up, expecting Vladimir to come in and talk more, but instead it was the girl. Bucky's eyes widened as one of Vladimir's henchmen dragged her in and set her in the middle of the floor without even looking at him.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey</em>." Bucky stood and the henchmen jumped slightly. "<em>If you leave her here, she will die."</em></p>
<p>The henchmen shook his head, "<em>If she dies, she dies. Vladimir's orders. We only have one guest room. Sorr</em>y."</p>
<p>Bucky glanced back at the girl. She was an absolute mess. Her face puffy and actively bleeding. Her knuckles raw and swollen. The girl was breathing, but each breath was ragged. He shook his head, "<em>Will Vladimir at least send a first aid kit? And a shirt</em>?"</p>
<p>The henchmen shrugged and Bucky straightened his shoulders in annoyance. The Russian man stumbled back and hurried out the door. He wasn't sure if he was going to get that first aid kit, but he couldn't just lie on the bed and watch this girl die. He shrugged out of his canvas jacket leaving him in just the long sleeve henley. Carefully, he lifted her up to slip the jacket under her. With every movement she whimpered, and Bucky whispered apologies. Eventually he got the jacket under her and pulled the sides up so it covered her front too. The guest room was warmer than the late Russian fall weather, but it was by no means warm.</p>
<p>There wasn't anything he could do right now. Well…</p>
<p>Bucky lifted his gloved hand and stared at it for a moment. It took a minute for him to finally pull the glove off and look at his metal hand. He flexed the fingers once then lightly set the metal over the girl's right eye which seemed to be the most swollen. A small gasp left her lips at the cool touch and he was pleased he could at least do that for her.</p>
<p>She was strong. <em>Kroshka</em>, they were calling her. <em>Little one</em>. Which was accurate. She was slim, but he could see the outlines of the muscles on her athletic form. Height though, she had to be 5'4 at the most and the jacket he wrapped around her engulfed her entirely. Her hair was dark, but that could just be the matted blood. What had impressed Bucky was her fire. It kind of reminded him of a punk kid picking fights he knew he couldn't win in an alley.</p>
<p>Every time she hit the ground, Vladimir cheered, and Bucky had resigned to the thought that he was going to watch the blonde Russian fighter pummel another fighter into the concrete floor. Kroshka didn't stay down though. Even the last time, when Bucky was almost sure she had passed out or was dead, she rolled onto her stomach and got back up.</p>
<p>She got back up and she had <em>won</em>.</p>
<p>It was <em>absolutely</em> suicidal and stupid, and it was the reason why she was dying on the floor of this pathetic guest room, but he had to give credit where credit was due. The Russians thought they were going to beat this tiny American girl into the ground, but she kicked their asses. Bucky could respect that.</p>
<p>The door opened again suddenly, and he turned just in time to see the henchman from before throw in a bright orange bag. He nodded once then slammed the door shut. Bucky pulled his hand away from her, trying to ignore her whimper, and dug through the bag.</p>
<p>For the next thirty minutes all Bucky did was clean her up. Using the questionable water from the sink, he cleaned away the blood and bandaged the wounds he could see. There was a gash on the side of her head, above her ear, that he had to stitch up, but he didn't do it well. It was difficult with her dark hair, but Bucky did the best he could.</p>
<p>Her right hand had a broken knuckle. That needed to be put in a splint. There was none in the bag so Bucky ripped open a box and used the thin cardboard of it best he could. He folded it up to make it thicker, placed it under her pointer and middle finger, then taped it all together. She flinched lightly at the movement, but other than that she didn't stir.</p>
<p>Bucky took care of a few more scrapes before looking at her broken nose. That needed to be reset now, but she was not going to like it whatsoever. He took a steady breath and leaned over her slightly. Bucky placed one thumb on the right side and his metal thumb against the other. Not too much power. Not too much power.</p>
<p>"Sorry, doll." He mumbled then snapped the nose back to where it was supposed to be. She took in a jagged gasp and her eyes shot open in terror. She just stared up at him with large, panicked blue eyes. "Hey, you're ok. <em>You're ok</em>." The panic dulled slightly, and her eyes fluttered once before shutting again.</p>
<p>Bucky set her hands onto her stomach and scooped her off the floor. She whimpered again and he mumbled more soft apologies. She didn't look like someone who should be anywhere near this place. Why was she even here?</p>
<p>He set her down on the thin mattress, the bed dipping from her weight but just barely, and then he sat on the floor beside her. His back pressed up against the wall as she slept soundly. Bucky should've left. It was the smart thing to do, but he couldn't leave her here in this shape. It was a sad desperation, but with all the lives he took it would be nice to save one.</p>
<p>"<em>I don't…"</em></p>
<p>The voice was soft and weak. Raspy and tired. He turned his head and watched the girl's busted lip quiver without making noise. For a moment he was starting to think he had imagined the words altogether. That was, until she spoke again.</p>
<p>"<em>I don't wanna die."</em></p>
<p>The pain in the voice made Bucky's chest ache. Didn't she have family somewhere? Where was her home? Why was she all alone out her in Moscow? He cleared his throat once, "You're not going to die." He actually wasn't sure about that. "You're ok."</p>
<p>"<em>I don't wanna die."</em> She mumbled again. Her eyes still closed. The right side of her face still painfully swollen. "<em>I just get tired. I get so tired. I just…"</em> She let out a shaky breath. "<em>I just wanna stop.</em>" Bucky sat up slightly when her chest shook. There were tears leaking from her closed, swollen eyes, "<em>But I can't. I can't stop</em>."</p>
<p>"Why not?" He found himself asking.</p>
<p>"<em>It's who I am."</em></p>
<p>"You're a very good fighter. Dumb. But good."</p>
<p>"<em>She was better</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky shook his head. Was he talking to this girl or was he talking to her concussion? He spoke, "You won the fight."</p>
<p>"<em>I just got up more times than she did. That's all it is. You just</em>…" She took in a shaky breath, the last of her words faint, "—<em>gotta keep getting up</em>. <em>Even when you wanna stay down</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky sighed and reached over to set his metal hand across her forehead again. Her tense face relaxed as she just slept on the sad, little bed. He told himself he should get some rest too. He needed sleep. Granted, Bucky rarely got a full night of restful, nightmare-less sleep, but he still needed a few hours to function.</p>
<p>Instead, he sat there the entire night and listened to her every pained breath.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Talk, Fight, Scream, Snark</h2></a>
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  <em>"I'll see you when the road decides it's time for our paths to cross again." -Ben Maxfield</em>
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<p>It was hard to explain what it felt like to wake up in pain. For me, it wasn't always an immediate thing. The fact that I had multiple instances to compare was a little sad, but I knew how bad I was hurt by the way I felt when I woke up. Immediate, shooting pain meant I fucked up bad, pain when I moved meant I overdid it, but this pain was different. My eyes opened and the pain came to me slowly. As if I was sinking in quicksand but the quicksand was fire. It was like my poor, sad brain couldn't even comprehend what was going on.</p>
<p>That probably wasn't a good sign.</p>
<p>Still, despite the headache my concussion felt the same. That was definitely a small victory. I'd take what I could.</p>
<p>I turned my head slightly and my eyes landed on an unfamiliar face. He looked sad. That was my first thought. He looked really, <em>really</em> sad and I wondered why he was so sad. Like he had some deep hurt in him. I could understand that. My second thought was that he was good-looking, like <em>'holy hell man why are you in a bunker instead of a runway' </em>good-looking. His dark hair was long and hung around his face, his features were strong, a jawline that could cut glass, and his blue eyes were mesmerizing. For a minute, I just stared into them and let the pain wash over me.</p>
<p>"You're not screaming this time." He said. His voice was deep and ragged, the way a voice sounds when someone hasn't spoken in a while. Wait, wait— Focus on the words, not the hunky stranger.</p>
<p>"I screamed before?" I asked and my voice sounded even worse.</p>
<p>"You've been out for about two days. I'd help you up sometimes to help you use the bathroom." Oh, dear God. This is why I couldn't have a handsome boyfriend. My first impressions were shit. There was also the lack good social skills and my <em>'punch first, talk later'</em> attitude, but whatever. He continued. "Then sometimes you would wake up randomly. Sometimes you'd talk, sometimes you'd try to fight, and sometimes you would just scream."</p>
<p>"Those <em>are</em> my three go-to moods." I said and the corner of his lip twitched. "The fourth is snark." There was a long pause before I filled the silence myself, "Did I say anything interesting?"</p>
<p>"A couple times you told me you didn't want to die." He said slowly. Despite his sad demeanor, he offered me a small, soft smile. "One time you told me I had pretty eyes."</p>
<p>"You're lucky. Usually, I only sweet talk like that when I'm 7 or 8 drinks in." I shifted slightly and winced, but it was doable. My eyes darted to the arm that was resting on the bed beside me. Most of it was covered by his olive-green sleeve, but I still saw the silver of metal. He moved his arm down, the smile disappearing. I looked back to him, "Between the stripper '<em>Captain America'</em> outfit, watching me bleed, <em>and</em> helping me pee… I don't know how you resisted me, dude. Talk about a catch."</p>
<p>He chuckled, "You're funny."</p>
<p>"Thanks. Usually the word people use is <em>annoying</em>." I replied then tried to sit up. He held his right arm out, the not metal one, in an attempt to pull me up. I took his wrist and used it to shift so I was leaning against the wall and face him directly. "How am I not dead?"</p>
<p>"It was touch and go for a little while." He reached beside him and lifted something toward me. A water bottle. It wasn't until I saw it that I realized how dry my throat was. I took it from him quickly and began to guzzle it down. "Hey, slow down, doll."</p>
<p>I stopped drinking and raised an eyebrow at him, "<em>Doll</em>?" He glanced away and I wondered if I had imagined the pink tint to his cheeks. I chuckled, "I like that. Knew my charm had worked at least a little."</p>
<p>"What's your name?" He questioned. "I can't keep referring to you as <em>Korshka</em> in my head."</p>
<p>"What does that word <em>mean</em>?"</p>
<p>"Little one."</p>
<p>I scrunched my nose then flinched at the pain it caused. I knew it, I just knew it. First, Small Fry and now Little One. I wasn't even that small, I was average size for crying out loud. I huffed and stuck my hand out, "I'm Aj. Nice to meet you." My eyes landed on my hand and that's when I realized I had tape around my fingers. "Oh <em>shit</em>, did I break my hand?"</p>
<p>"Cracked a knuckle." He hummed and reached out to take my hand. Instead of shaking it, he carefully twisted it around so he could look at it from every angle. "You need a real splint."</p>
<p>I flexed the fingers that weren't taped and sighed. Hand breaks were the worst breaks just because of how annoying they were to deal with. They always got in the way. I set my hand down and focused back on him, "What's <em>your</em> name? I need to know what to get tattooed on my back as a thank you for not letting me die."</p>
<p>He let out a small laugh and the look on his face said he really hadn't been expecting to laugh. Jokes on him, I was <em>fucking hilarious</em>. He glanced at me and shook his head, "It's…complicated."</p>
<p>"That's fine." In the world I lived in I could understand not handing out names. "I understand, <em>Korshka</em>."</p>
<p>He chuckled again and shook his head, "Call me Toska."</p>
<p>"Well, <em>Toska</em>, I'm gonna warn you now. You are about to get very, <em>very</em> sick and tired of my voice." I gave him a finger gun and tried to smile, but my face felt stiff and I knew it had to have looked like an absolute fucking mess. Oh, well. At least, for now, I wasn't dead.</p>
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<p>The quinjet had been in the air for about an hour and a half now. Luckily, it wouldn't take them the normal 11 hours to fly to Moscow from New York since the ship was so fast. Unfortunately, they still had to be in the small aircraft for 7 hours.</p>
<p>Clint leaned back best he could in the stiff metal seat against the wall of the plane. His belt was off and was rocking his foot against the floor. Natasha caught his gaze from across the small space and raised an eyebrow. He stilled his foot and sucked in a quick breath. He made a stupid mistake. A stupid mistake and now Aj was going to have to pay for it with her life. It was one thing when he fucked up and it ended with him bruised and bleeding or in a dumpster. It was another when it ruined someone else's life.</p>
<p>He glanced to the cockpit when Tony rose from the seat and stretched his arms over his head. Steve, who was sitting a few seats down from Clint, nodded in his direction, "You know, you didn't have to come, Tony."</p>
<p>"Trying to get rid of me already, Cap?" Tony replied back without missing a beat. He crossed the small space and glanced over his shoulder, "And of course I have to come. I don't let my dates get <em>kidnapped</em> by <em>gangster</em> Russians."</p>
<p>Clint's jaw clenched while Tony moved to tinker with his suit. He deserved the jab. Clint glanced down the seats at Steve who looked puzzled. They made eye contact and Clint just shook his head. Steve nodded once and went back to the small notebook in his hand.</p>
<p>They had technically found Aj. Sort of. They found the Russians and tracked them back to an area of Moscow that was known for underground dealings. From there they just had to hit the ground and start looking. Clint was well aware that a lot of time had passed though. Nearly three days now. They could've gotten rid of her within the first few <em>hours</em>.</p>
<p>Clint's fist tightened against his leg and he tried not to radiate what he was feeling. Natasha would pick up on it, she always did, but he didn't want Steve or Tony to know how <em>absolutely</em> shitty he felt.</p>
<p>He shouldn't have let Aj walk away. Clint had been so sure that they were gonna take their time and make a slow move. The way they grabbed her though… they knew she was working with them. Clint didn't know <em>how</em> they found out, but they did, and he knew they would take all of that out on her.</p>
<p>Natasha rose from her seat on the floor and drifted across the space to sit beside him casually. She pulled out her phone and continued to look through what she had been digging through. Moscow news, reports and recent arrest records, rumors on the street. She was narrowing down their small window even further.</p>
<p>"She's a fighter. I'm sure she's fine." Natasha mumbled softly and under her breath without even looking up.</p>
<p>Clint sunk in his seat, "Being a fighter doesn't mean much when you have a gun to your head."</p>
<p>"They wanted her to fight. I'm sure they still made her."</p>
<p>"Yeah, maybe after beating the shit out of her first."</p>
<p>There was a lull of silence between them while she continued to work. Fifteen minutes passed before Natasha leaned into him and held out her phone for him to look. He glanced down at the message. It must have been from one of her contacts in Moscow. Clint didn't understand the message itself, he wasn't that good at Russian he really only knew the curse words, but the picture was plain as day. The Winter Solider. He was dressed as a civilian, but it was hard to hide that large, intimidating form.</p>
<p>"Two birds with one stone?" Natasha questioned.</p>
<p>Clint glanced to his right where Steve was either writing or sketching something in his notebook then he looked back at Natasha. He lifted his hands and began to quickly sign to her, <em>'She is my priority. She comes first.'</em></p>
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<p>Bucky found himself laughing again and that wasn't something he expected from saving the girl. From saving Aj. Despite her face being various shades of yellow and purple, she felt like a breath of fresh air. He couldn't help but wonder if that was just her or maybe he had been so torn from society for so long that anything felt nice.</p>
<p>"I just can't believe I almost died dressed like this." Aj huffed, she still leaned against the wall taking occasional sips from their shared water bottle. A henchman was due to come in and deliver more food and water soon.</p>
<p>Bucky was supposed to leave two days ago, but he couldn't bring himself to leave her here. She looked too small and broken on that bed to abandon and now that she started talking, he knew he couldn't run out of here without making sure she had somewhere to go.</p>
<p>"I saved Captain America once, you know." Bucky's head snapped to her in shock. Aj just nodded slowly. "<em>Yeah</em>. The world was ending. Aliens <em>blowing shit up</em> in Manhattan. I never even go to Manhattan, but of course the one day I do—Anyways, I was running because well, duh <em>aliens</em>, and I saw them." She lifted her hands and shook them slightly, "<em>The Avengers</em>." Aj began to cough again, a hacking cough that he worried was turning into something worse and took a small sip of water again. "Obviously, I turned and got the hell out of there. They were alien magnets. <em>But</em>, I didn't get far. Maybe down the road when I had to take shelter. Thor and Captain America showed up, and I'll tell you now Thor is as <em>dreamy</em> as people say, like <em>damn</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled, "You're making me jealous, doll."</p>
<p>"You know I only got eyes for you, Toska." Aj winked at him with a tired smirk. In that brief moment Bucky felt like Bucky. Like the kid running around Brooklyn flirting with any girl that gave him eyes. He didn't want to let that moment go. She coughed again, "They were fighting and shit and I was gearing up to run but then I saw one of those creepy things aiming their weapon at good ol' Mr. America."</p>
<p>"Are you telling me you fist fought an alien?" Bucky questioned. From what he's learned he wouldn't put it past her.</p>
<p>Aj laughed and even with junk in her lungs and the pain on her face it made him smile. It was nice that he could make someone happy still. Maybe there was hope for him yet. Aj waved her good hand at him, "I'm dumb, but I'm not <em>that</em> dumb." She chuckled. "I saw a sign kinda wobbling above him, <em>structural damage</em>, and I knocked down the last thing holding it up. Sign squished the alien and I became the <em>unnamed hero</em> that saved America's pride and joy."</p>
<p>She took one fake bow then flinched at the movement before sitting back again.</p>
<p>"Granted, he's like a super solider from the 40's or whatever so he probably would've been fine, but it still feels nice to pretend like I made a difference." Aj shrugged. "He glanced over at the sound of the sign falling but I don't think he saw me."</p>
<p>Bucky leaned against the bed again, his arm resting on the bar. She didn't seem to mind that he had a metal arm or at least she didn't mention it. He motioned to her slightly, "So, you're friends with the Avengers?"</p>
<p>"<em>Hardly</em>." She scoffed. "I mooched a jacket off Tony Stark and fucked up some mission for the two agents I met. They probably wrote me off as a Government loss or something, I don't know."</p>
<p>Aj took in a steadying breath only to go into another round of coughs. Bucky sat up and moved his arm toward her, but she just waved him off. The coughing alone would be a concern, but he knew every single cough was just making her entire body ache.</p>
<p>"You ok?"</p>
<p>"Fine. That doesn't count as your question by the way, Toska. Go. It's your turn."</p>
<p>He leaned back again. She had talked him into throwing questions back and forth. It had worried him at first, he didn't plan on sharing, but all she did was ask him things like <em>'His favorite color'</em> and '<em>Boxers or Briefs'</em>. Bucky smiled, "Where're you from, doll?"</p>
<p>"<em>Ah</em>, you hear the <em>twang</em>, don't ya?" Aj pointed to her lips and chuckled. "Usually it only comes out when I'm drunk. I'm from Alabama. Live in Jersey City now, but…" Bucky couldn't help but make a face, and she caught onto it quick. "Ah, calm down, <em>Brooklyn boy</em>. It's not like I <em>like</em> it. It's just where the ring is."</p>
<p>Bucky shook his head, "You're out of the ring now though. You can move somewhere better."</p>
<p>"First of all, I have no money. Literally zero." Aj chuckled, but it was sadder than what her tone had been before. The fire in her eyes dimmed slightly, "Besides, we're gonna die here, Toska. Hate to be the bearer of bad news."</p>
<p>"No, we <em>aren't</em>. You <em>will not</em> die here." Bucky said firmly.</p>
<p>"Is someone coming for you, Toska? Because <em>nobody</em> is coming for me." Aj replied softly. "<em>No one</em>. No family, no friends… I'm out here on my own. We could always try to escape but <em>I'll</em> be useless and yeah you got a badass metal arm, but we're <em>fucking surrounded</em>."</p>
<p>Aj was wrong, but he couldn't exactly tell her that without showing all his cards. Hours ago though, he had already started to make mental plans. Vladimir had come to see him, tried to take Aj from him the morning after her fight, but Bucky didn't let him. Bucky promised him a favor if Vladimir let Bucky look over her. Vladimir made his crude comments but agreed. He had no intentions of holding his end of the bargain though. As soon as Aj was strong enough to walk, <em>even limp</em>, he was breaking them out of here. Bucky wasn't sure where they would go or how he would get her back to New York, but that was an issue for a later day.</p>
<p>The door began to unlock, and Bucky was on his feet quick. He saw Aj stiffen and moved to stand in front of her. While he expected a henchman with food, instead he got Vladimir with a gun. The brutish man chuckled in his deep voice and motioned to the bed with the gun.</p>
<p>"Ah, so she <em>does</em> live." Vladimir chirped out in English. "How are you feeling, <em>Kroshka</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>Peachy</em>." Aj replied, her voice didn't waver. "I do have a few complaints about accommodations though so if there's a <em>manager</em> I could talk to <em>or</em>…?"</p>
<p>Vladimir chuckled again but his gaze grew dark. His eyes drifted back to Bucky as he began to speak in Russian, "<em>If you're going to keep her, you'll have to teach her to shut her mouth. Nobody likes a bitch who talks that much</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>What do you want</em>?" Bucky replied coolly. Vladimir thought he had the upper hand here. The man felt brave holding the gun in his hand with no idea that Bucky was hardly threatened by it at all.</p>
<p>"<em>My favor</em>." Vladimir snapped. "<em>You've kept the girl alive now it's time to pay your debt</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky shook his head, "<em>She still needs rest. Another three days</em>."</p>
<p>Vladimir's face turned red with anger as he brought the gun up to his face. Aj sucked in a sharp breath behind him, but Bucky didn't flinch. The Russian held it there for a moment before lowering it again, "<em>You have three hours. I'll be back</em>."</p>
<p>Without another word, he stormed out and the metal door slammed behind him. Bucky turned to Aj who sat up strong, her chin held up bravely, but he could see the tremor in her fingers. He knelt back down so he was eye level with her.</p>
<p>"Don't worry about him. I got it handled, doll."</p>
<p>Aj pressed her lips together tightly before shaking her head once, "Why, Toska?" Bucky raised an eyebrow at her question, curious but not understanding. She lifted her good hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. It was still matted with blood and Bucky wondered what'd it would look like clean. "Why did you save me? Why are you helping me?"</p>
<p>"What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"I've been alone for a while, nobody in New York is really in my corner…" Aj chuckled without humor. "And the people I've surrounded myself with—They don't help, it's not their thing, but when they do it's because they want to use me or make money off me or some third <em>awful</em> thing… The people I meet at rings <em>aren't</em> good. <em>I'm</em> not good." She motioned to herself and Bucky found himself disagreeing. He knew what evil looked like, and Aj was a white spot in this dark, cold bunker, "But you <em>saved</em> me. You're <em>helping</em> me, and—<em>I don't get why</em>. What's in it for you?"</p>
<p>Bucky thought for a moment. It was a fair question from someone he knew had to have some trust issues. She was an outsider. Aj didn't know the Winter Soldier and she didn't know Bucky Barnes. All she knew was '<em>Toska'</em> and the way she looked him in the eyes while they talked or cracked small jokes made him feel <em>normal</em>.</p>
<p>It made him feel like he wasn't a broken shell of who he used to be. Beyond that, he knew what a world like this could do to a person. Vladimir was not Hydra in any way, shape, or form, but he knew what it felt like to be broken down and built back up into something you hated. Bucky couldn't let this world do that to her. She still had a fire, a light, in her eyes and Bucky wasn't going to let Vladimir extinguish it.</p>
<p>"I've done <em>terrible</em> things. Things I can't undo." Bucky replied slowly. "It just feels nice to do the right thing. It doesn't forgive me of my sins, but it staves off the guilt…for now."</p>
<p>Aj nodded tightly. She swallowed a lump in her throat. "<em>I get that</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky moved toward her and started to shift her back onto the bed. He was surprised Aj didn't argue or fight him off. He nodded, "Get some more sleep. You'll need it."</p>
<p>"Ok." Aj replied softly. He sat back down against the wall, on guard, and he jumped when he felt a hand on top of his metal one. Aj had already closed her eyes, but she left her hand where it was. Bucky's metal arm wasn't as sensitive as real skin, but he could feel things like pressure, heat, and cold. His stiff body relaxed into the wall and he closed his own eyes for a moment of rest.</p>
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<p>"I got a tip. Gives us a smaller radius to work with." Natasha said. They were close now. Maybe thirty minutes out from where they thought the underground fighting ring would be holed up. Tony twisted his arm and used the screwdriver in his free hand to try and tweak the repulsor. It was still working, but it was glitchy.</p>
<p>He didn't like glitchy.</p>
<p>JARVIS spoke up through the quinjet's speakers, "<em>Sir, Miss Potts in on the line for you."</em></p>
<p>Tony leaned over and grabbed his earpiece before popping it in and motioning to it with his hand. JARVIS, always on the same page as him, transferred the call to it. He tightened a line on his arm, "To what do I owe the pleasure—"</p>
<p>"<em>Where are you</em>?"</p>
<p>Tony paused, "Is that a trick question?"</p>
<p>"<em>Because I am standing outside the conference room for the board meeting, the board meeting I told you that you needed to come for</em>, <em>and I do not see you here</em>." Pepper snapped and he winced. Tony had said he would show up to that. There were a lot of meetings he would blow off and Pepper was very good at wrestling him into the ones that he actually did need to be there for. Usually.</p>
<p>"Pep—"</p>
<p>"<em>Don't you Pep me</em>."</p>
<p>Natasha, Clint, and Steve shot him a curious glance and he waved them away. Tony cleared his throat, "<em>Pepper</em>. I was going to go, I promise, but a thing came up. An Avengers thing."</p>
<p>"<em>Is everything alright</em>?" Pepper's voice flipped to worried immediately.</p>
<p>"Yeah, everything is great. I'm in Russia, sort of. <em>Over</em> Russia."</p>
<p>Pepper's worries weren't mollified, "<em>Is it an all hands-on deck mission</em>?"</p>
<p>"Nah", Tony reassured her, "It's just me, Old man Jenkins, Legolas, and Natashalie." The entire group turned to look at him again but in tired resolve this time. Tony ignored them entirely and continued to talk, "We're gonna go save a damsel in distress."</p>
<p>Pepper let out a tired sigh, "<em>Well, for the first time in history, you actually have a good excuse</em>." Tony opened his mouth to argue that point, but she didn't let him. "<em>Just please be careful.</em>"</p>
<p>"Always am. Re-schedule the board meeting, Pep, and go get yourself something nice."</p>
<p>JARVIS ended the call and Tony rose from where he was sitting. The three others were still standing around the table that had risen from the quinjet's floor. The tabletop had a holographic map open of the area they would be going into.</p>
<p>"Everything ok?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"It's fine. What's the plan, Cap?" Tony replied quickly. Steve went back to motioning to the topography and Tony tried to focus. Pepper and him were good. Pepper and him were <em>fine</em>. Tony accidentally got their Malibu home blasted off a cliff when he gave their address out on national television, but he had apologized for that. More than that. He finally had the surgery to take the arc reactor and the metal shards out of his chest, and now him and Pepper were <em>thriving</em>.</p>
<p>Everything was going great.</p>
<p>Except he was out on a mission and she didn't like that. She worried and she had every right to worry. Tony had promised to take a step back, he just didn't realize how difficult that was actually going to be.</p>
<p>"This is the point of entry." Steve said firmly. "The mission itself is low risk and they aren't expecting us but still, stay safe and keep and an eye out for our target. Ok?"</p>
<p>Tony clapped his hand on Clint's shoulder with a tight squeeze. The archer was tense, and he knew how much the guy was kicking himself. Tony probably shouldn't have dug at him earlier like he had. Clint glanced at him and nodded once. Tony slid his hand off and then activated his suit. It was an older version, but it was the best he had on stand-by. Something newer was in the works for now.</p>
<p>Steve waited until Clint and Natasha grabbed something then hit the button beside him. The back hatch began to lower and cold wind whipped around them. Tony walked to edge and gave them a small salute with his fingers, "<em>I'll go knock on the front door</em>."</p>
<p>Tony leaned back and let the weight of the suit take him out of the quinjet. He fell for only a moment before activating the repulsors and taking off.</p>
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<p>I felt safe and that almost didn't feel right. Here I was lying on a shitty mattress in a shitty Russian bunker, bruised and broken, and yet I felt safer here than I <em>ever</em> had in New York. My body didn't even know what to do with the feeling. Then again it was probably just still too busy trying to deal with the pain. I was a quick healer. Always had been, but boy was I testing my limits now.</p>
<p>The swelling in my face had mostly done down. Enough that I could blink normally and talk without feeling like I had cotton stuffed in my cheeks, but my entire face still <em>ached</em> something fierce. Then of course the wound on the side of my head had seen better days. The skin didn't hurt as much anymore, but the headache hadn't gone away since I first woke up in this room.</p>
<p>Hell, it hadn't gone away since I first got hit in New York.</p>
<p>Plus, I now had this gross feeling in my lungs. Every breath had a little wheeze with it and anytime I coughed I was coughing up phlegm. There was also the slight chance that I was now running a fever. I could feel it. My face felt hot, but despite that my entire body shook. Even with Toska's jacket on.</p>
<p><em>Toska</em>.</p>
<p>I wasn't one to trust easy, or at all, but I did hear that bonds made in a Russian bunker-prison were the strongest bonds that could be made. Or something of that nature. He said he had done terrible things, but my gut told me he was <em>good</em>. It was something in his eyes, I think. Regardless, if my gut gave him the ok then I had been willing to give it a shot. Little did I know that my small olive branch was actually going to turn into a friendship. Toska was the kind of guy I think I would've been good friends with if I had met under normal circumstances.</p>
<p>Then when he answered my last question…</p>
<p>I <em>understood</em> him. The desire, <em>deep down</em>, to do good was ever present in my life. The hope that maybe, <em>just maybe</em>, if you did this one good thing, you'd feel a little better about yourself. You wouldn't feel like a monster every time you looked in the mirror. I had no idea about Toska's past or how he came to have an actual metal arm, but the basic principle of it all matched up with me.</p>
<p>We were just two people desperately trying to prove to the world, and ourselves, that we were <em>worth </em>something.</p>
<p>I opened my eyes slowly. Honestly, I had no guess to how long I had been asleep this time. The one tiny bulb on the ceiling felt too bright to my eyes. It hadn't bothered me before, but now it felt <em>blinding</em>. Toska was sitting in the same spot, his head leaning against the wall, and I opened my mouth to call out to him. Instead, another round of coughs shook my entire body and Toska sat up straight to lightly pat my back.</p>
<p>"Hey, you ok?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine." I tried to slow down my coughs or at least muffle them. Despite having slept, I felt more tired than when I first laid down. That was probably another not so good sign. "<em>Toska</em>?"</p>
<p>I felt his hand move to lightly touch my face and he mumbled a curse under his breath before switching the hand to his metal one. The cold metal felt heavenly against my skin. Toska finally spoke, "You have a fever."</p>
<p>"That's what I thought." I mumbled. "Probably pneumonia."</p>
<p>Toska sighed, "I have to get you out of here now. You need a hospital."</p>
<p>"Toska?" I said firmly and he nodded at me. "Let's say you get us out of here…" His lips twitched up into an amused smirk briefly before morphing back into worry. I focused back on my question, "Where are you gonna go?"</p>
<p>"I'm taking you to the nearest <em>hospital</em>, doll."</p>
<p>"No, no, I mean <em>after</em>." I said. Never one for tact, even when I wasn't dying of sepsis or some shit, I blurted out the next part shamelessly. "I wanna go with you."</p>
<p>Toska shook his head, "That isn't a good idea. I'm—I told you, I'm no good."</p>
<p>"You can say that all you want, but you're my new favorite person in the world." I tried to make my voice sound light, but it didn't sound like I wanted it to. "I'm gonna get your name tattooed on my forehead instead of my back now and—and I'm gonna start a <em>fanclub</em>—"</p>
<p>Toska chuckled, "Let's just get you healthy first."</p>
<p>He moved to stand, but I grabbed the hand closest to me, the metal one. His eyes widened slightly. Maybe he didn't like people touching that arm. I swallowed the lump in my throat and, despite feeling like death warmed over, I tried not to look overly pathetic, "Toska, I <em>don't</em> want to be alone again. <em>Please</em>."</p>
<p>"Hey, you <em>won't</em> be alone." He knelt down and spoke softly. There was commotion in the hall. I could hear gunfire and my heart started to race. Toska's jaw clenched but he pulled my attention back to him. "You <em>won't</em> be alone. I'm going to get us out of here. I <em>promise</em>. You trust me, doll?"</p>
<p>And surprisingly, I did.</p>
<p>I trusted him.</p>
<p>The door to the room swung open and the gunfire only got louder. It was Vladimir, he was red faced and screaming, waving a gun the entire time. He barked out something in Russian to Toska who stood firmly in front of me. I slowly forced myself to sit up and began to cough again. Toska spoke back in Russian, his voice firm and steady. Vladimir lifted the gun again, but he didn't make a move beyond that. Toska grabbed his arm, ripped the gun from it, then slammed his metal fist into his gut sending him flying out the doorway.</p>
<p>Toska looked back at me in worry and I lifted a hand to give him a thumbs up, "<em>Badass</em>." He chuckled and came over to try and scoop me up, but I brushed him aside and forced myself to stand. Toska looked like he was going to argue, but I shook my head, "You can't shoot a gun <em>and</em> hold me. I can walk." My knees were shaking, but I stayed upright. "<em>I can walk</em>."</p>
<p>Without another word, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. His pace was quick, and I struggled to keep my feet moving but I also refused to slow him down. As we moved down the hall, he'd lift the gun and shoot the security cameras before we moved past them. I had no idea what that was about, who he was hiding us from, but I wasn't going to start questioning the guy now.</p>
<p>As we came to a corner, two men ran into our view. They lifted their guns and Toska pushed us into an open room. He grabbed my shoulders, "<em>Stay here</em>." I nodded numbly before watching him. Toska stood by the entry, waiting, and as soon as the men stopped firing he rushed into the hall. I glanced around the room to see if there was anything that could help us, but all I saw was a mirror, a couch, and a chair with a very <em>familiar </em>jacket on it.</p>
<p>I hurried to the chair and shrugged out of Toska's much larger canvas jacket before sliding into the leather one. My body ached at the extra movement, and the chill of leaving his warm jacket made me shiver, but it had to be cold outside. Toska needed his own jacket to stay warm. I grabbed his coat and took a step toward the door. The hall was silent and the familiar, comforting face I had grown used to stepped into view.</p>
<p>"Here, your jacket. It's cold." I held the jacket up and ignored how the simple weight of the coat made my hand shake.</p>
<p>Toska grabbed it and immediately wrapped it around me again. He helped slide my arms into the sleeves while I argued then grabbed my hand again, "You need it more. Come on."</p>
<p>We hurried down another hall that looked like the other three halls we had run down. My head was spinning, the fever getting the best of me I was sure, and it was getting harder to suck in a full breath. I squeezed his hand once and he slowed down a hair, "What happened? Who are they fighting?" He paused to peek around the corner then cursed under his breath. "Toska?"</p>
<p>He shoved the gun into my hands suddenly and my eyes widened. I may have grown up in Alabama, but I had never shot a gun before. Hell, this was the first time I was even holding one. Toska set his hands on my shoulders and he slowly pushed me lower until I was sitting on the ground. I shook my head at him, what was he doing?</p>
<p>"The Avengers are here. I guess you do have some friends, doll." He chuckled. "More of Vladimir's men are around the corner, but I can hear the others down the hall we just came through. They're coming for you." Toska held my gaze firmly. "I'm going to lead Vladimir's men away and you shoot anyone who isn't an Avenger. <em>Do you understand</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." I shook my head and tried to hand him the gun back, but he didn't relent. "I'll go with you."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry."</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." I snapped, my head was swimming now, but I was clear enough to know what he was doing. "You <em>promised</em>. You <em>promised</em> you wouldn't leave me alone. <em>Toska</em>—"</p>
<p>"The Avengers are going to get you. You're going to be ok."</p>
<p>I shook my head again and tried to stop my bottom lip from quivering. Toska was my friend. It took me two countries and nearly dying to finally find one, but he was my <em>actual</em> friend. I grabbed his hand again, "I wanna go with <em>you</em>. Please, Toska. <em>Please</em>."</p>
<p>Toska stared at me for a moment. I was sure it was only seconds, but it felt a lot longer than that. The sound of fighting was getting closer along with the sound of men yelling and barking out orders in Russian. I almost convinced myself that he was about to change his mind, to pull me up and get us moving, but instead he leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to my hairline.</p>
<p>"Tell Steve I said to take care of you for me. Ok, doll?" He gave me tight smile, tapped his fingers under my chin once, then ran around the corner.</p>
<p>I yelled after him which probably wasn't the greatest idea since I was sort of in a war zone, but I was also kind of desperate. The yelling ended in a round of coughs that left me gasping for a breath. The sound around me grew muffled and I tried to figure out why. I hadn't hit my head again, had I? The world was blurry, and I wondered if I was about to pass out. Toska did all that hard work to keep my ass alive and I was just gonna black out in a hallway with a gun in my hands.</p>
<p>Muffled footsteps landed beside me and someone slid into view. Red and gold. A robot. A <em>familiar</em> robot. It knelt in front of me and the helmet's mask flipped up to reveal a face. I focused on his features. <em>Focus, focus, focus</em>. My mind cleared up marginally. He spoke aloud but not to me, "<em>Shit</em>, I found her. Barton, east hall. It's not pretty."</p>
<p>"You…" I mumbled.</p>
<p>"Hey, honey." He replied softly, holding his metal hands up cautiously. That wasn't the metal hand I wanted. He took the gun from me and set it aside, "<em>Aj</em>? Aj, can you hear me? Can you stand?"</p>
<p>I blinked, "You're Tony Stark."</p>
<p>"I am." Tony nodded with a reassuring smile. "I <em>am</em> Tony Stark and I'm going to pick you up, ok? We're getting the <em>hell</em> <em>out of here</em>."</p>
<p>"I wasn't supposed to see you again." I mumbled as he scooped me off the ground bridal style. "I got a gift after the first date. I decided that meant you were gone."</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "I changed my mind. Wanted to take you on a second date. A better one. One with a <em>lot</em> <em>less</em> Clint Barton." He said. We were moving. "But you gotta stay awake for me, ok? Can you do that?"</p>
<p>"I'm keeping the jacket." I said and Tony chuckled. He said something else. I watched his lips move, but there was no more sound. Iron Man and the Avengers were rescuing me, but that wasn't right. I was missing something. My brain refused to stop spinning long enough for me to grab the information though.</p>
<p>I grasped at straws and finally one clicked.</p>
<p>"Toska. Save Toska."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Revenge is a Dish Better Served Cold</h2></a>
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  <em>"Sometimes you get to what you thought was the end and you find it's a whole new beginning." -Anne Tyler</em>
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<p>When I opened my eyes, I was immediately blinded by light. It was jarring especially since I had been expecting a concrete room. Panic was what hit me first, I wasn't a fan of waking up in unfamiliar places, but when I turned and saw Manhattan outside my window all I felt was relief. Regardless of what was happening, I was in a familiar place. I had more of a handle of my situation in America than I did Russia.</p>
<p>I was already slightly propped up, but I pushed myself up more to look around the hospital room I now found myself in. The room was large. A window with an amazing view, a private bathroom, and a whole damn couch pushed up against the wall across from me. It was the kind of hospital room that famous people got to stay in. Not dirty, little street rats like me.</p>
<p>The room was pretty, it looked safe, and I felt amazing. I was still sore and there was an ache behind my eyes that throbbed anytime I moved but compared to what my state had been last time I was awake this was great. Last time I had been awake I was dying. I had been dying, right?</p>
<p>"<em>Shit</em>." I mumbled. I was in Manhattan, but I didn't have enough answers to feel comfortable. For all I knew, this had something to do with Boss. I couldn't imagine him spending this much money to save me, but I wouldn't put it past him to save me just so he could kill me himself.</p>
<p>Quickly, I forced myself off the bed and to my feet. Testing my strength, I shifted from foot to foot to see how steady I was. Everything seemed to be working fine. I had a splint on my right hand and wrist which would make punching anyone I came across a little difficult, but other than that I was good. I could be left hand dominant for the next few hours.</p>
<p>It was easy enough to rip the heart monitors off myself, but my eyes glanced down at the IV in the crook of my right elbow. This would be a different story. I took in a few quick breaths, grabbed the IV, and steeled myself for what was to come.</p>
<p>"<em>Whoa, whoa, whoa</em>!"</p>
<p>I glanced up to see Clint Barton standing in the doorway. <em>Clint Barton was here?</em> He took the opportunity of me just dumbly staring in surprise to rush over and swat my hand away from the IV line. He motioned for me to scoot back and I dropped into a seated position onto the bed while staring at him in confusion. Clint Barton was here.</p>
<p>"I'm gone for five minutes and you're trying to <em>rip out</em> your IV?"</p>
<p>"Clint Barton? <em>Agent Clint Barton</em>?" My voice sounded strong. Normal. I rubbed my eyes with my non-splinted hand. When I finished he was still there. "What are <em>you</em> doing here? What am <em>I </em>doing here? <em>Where is here</em>?"</p>
<p>Clint held his hands out in a calming gesture, "How about you get back in bed and then we talk? Deal?" I didn't really see another option, so I slid back into bed warily. Clint smiled at the action, an amused smirk, and I only felt more confused. "How's your head?" He had tapped the side of his own head while asking. I lifted my left hand and felt a clean row of stitches in my hair a little bit above my ear. That explained the ache behind my eyes. "You woke up once last night and said '<em>No more fucking pain meds'</em> so we lowered the dose. That's why you're probably still hurting but…"</p>
<p>I had my memory. Nothing was missing, I don't think, but it all felt out of place. It was like the memories were bouncing around inside my skull and anytime I reached out to grab one it would slip away. Physically, I was doing great. Mentally? It was gonna take me a minute to get my head back. I held out a hand to stop Clint from talking again and then tried to piece it all back together.</p>
<p>"I was kidnapped by two asshole Russians." I said slowly. That memory slid back into place. I got gotten hit in the head, hard, and then thrown into a van like yesterday's garbage. I narrowed my eyes at Clint, "Did you…You came to get me? All the way in <em>Russia</em>?"</p>
<p>Clint's eyes widened slightly, "Of course, we did." He moved to sit in the chair on my left side. He looked more tired than the last time I saw him. Like he either hadn't been sleeping or had just been woken up. "We got you into that mess to begin with. We weren't gonna just hang you out to dry."</p>
<p>A flash of metal in my head. Silver metal? Red and gold metal. A suit. Shit, Iron Man had been there. Iron Man had scooped me up off a cold concrete floor and told me to stay awake. <em>Wow</em>.</p>
<p>Clint wasn't wrong. If they hadn't come up to me then I would've just stayed in the city in my same monotonous schedule. Still, I didn't expect a rescue party and I really didn't expect the Avengers to be said rescue party. <em>Holy shit.</em> They were heroes who saved the world and they wasted their time coming to pick me up from that hellhole?</p>
<p>"You thought we were gonna leave you there." Clint said softly. I focused my gaze back on him. He had a look on his face I couldn't immediately place. It was familiar, I should recognize it, but my sluggish brain wasn't giving me an answer.</p>
<p>"I had kind of assumed." I replied with a small shrug. "Thanks, Clint. I… Thanks." My face felt warm, but this time it wasn't from traumatic swelling. It was from embarrassment. I was still in shock that they had come for me. "So, uh, what's the final damage?"</p>
<p>"You've been out for about four days. When we got you…you were in really rough shape. We stopped by a hospital in Moscow to get you stabilized and then as soon as you were we brought you back here. We were worried Vladimir's crew might be looking for payback so we didn't want to stick around." Clint explained. Vladimir. Oh! Bear man. He had paid Boss for me. He was the leader of that Russian ring. I remember that. "You have a skull fracture, horrible concussion to go with it, but no brain bleed."</p>
<p>I gave him a quick thumbs up, "<em>Yay</em>."</p>
<p>"Cracked knuckle, fractured cheekbone—"</p>
<p>"<em>Really</em>?" I questioned and lifted my hand to touch my tender face. Things had been bad. I remember that too. My face had been a swollen mess. So swollen and bruised that apparently I didn't even notice that my cheekbone had been fractured. Flashes of a giant, blonde woman hit me. <em>Helga</em>. I flinched without meaning to and Clint set a warm hand on my injury free wrist. "Sorry."</p>
<p>"You ok?" There was real concern in his eyes. Huh.</p>
<p>"Thinking about the tank who broke my face. You know, all the years I fought…I've never broken my face. That's kind of a bummer. Guess I never cracked my skull open either but…" I forced out a chuckle. "Anything else?"</p>
<p>Clint scoffed, "Yeah. You were black and blue and if that wasn't enough you got sick. <em>Pneumonia</em>. You went into septic shock around the time we finally got to you." Oof. That was a list and a half. I needed to look in a mirror soon. Hopefully, the damage done wasn't bad enough to scar. "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>I blinked in surprise and looked to Clint who didn't meet my eyes, "Huh?"</p>
<p>"I'm sorry." He repeated, squeezing my wrist once, and finally looked up from the ground. "Tash said we shouldn't get you involved, and she was <em>right</em>. This is <em>my</em> damn fault. I nearly got you killed and if that wasn't enough I got you blacklisted from the fighting scene here and—"</p>
<p>Panicked, I pulled my hand out of his grip to grab his shoulder, "Oh my God, shut up." Clint gave me a curious, surprised look and I shrugged sheepishly, "I just had a bad feeling you were gonna talk and grovel for a while there and dude it's <em>really</em> not necessary."</p>
<p>"Aj—"</p>
<p>"I <em>chose</em> to help you. I did. That's on <em>me</em>." I replied with a firm shake of my head. I pulled my hand away from his shoulder then smirked, "Plus, I sort of do whatever the hell I want. It's kind of my thing and it's made my life <em>incredibly</em> difficult."</p>
<p>Clint laughed, but the look on his face lingered. My sluggish brain finally caught up and I recognized it now. <em>Guilt</em>. The kind of guilt that reassurances didn't help. He had to tackle that issue on his own. I knew because I had my own list of shit to work through.</p>
<p>"You know, I am <em>not</em> a medical doctor." Tony Stark suddenly breezed into the room while reading something off a tablet in his hand. I did a double take at the sight of him, but he didn't even glance up to look at me. "But I think, <em>medically speaking of course</em>, that the <em>general</em> recommendation is to <em>not</em> get the shit kicked out of you?"</p>
<p>"You should see the other guy." I replied with the typical response I gave when people mentioned my injuries. It was a reflex at this point. For a moment, I wondered if my brain <em>was</em> bleeding and I was imagining all this. I didn't think I was that creative. All of this was like some sort of pipe dream. Was I on drugs? I had two Avengers in the same room as me and one of them was trying to give me medical advice.</p>
<p>Clint spoke up, "Oh, we did. The fight was recorded. We got it off their security feed. Watched it on our way back to the USA."</p>
<p>"Cool, cool, cool. That was definitely a moment I wanted saved. Make sure you send me a copy."</p>
<p>Tony Stark ignored me, "Also, your potassium looks a little low? Maybe a banana every once in a while. Tinkerbell?"</p>
<p>It took a few seconds for what he was saying to make sense in my head. I connected the dots then pointed at him accusingly, "Are you…Are you <em>reading</em> my medical records?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Isn't that like super illegal, <em>Mr. Avenger</em>?"</p>
<p>"For people without permission, yes, but as your emergency contact, I have access." Tony shrugged as if any word in that sentence made some kind of sense.</p>
<p>"Since when was <em>Iron Man</em> my emergency contact? I think I'd remember writing that down." I argued and glanced over at Clint who just smiled at me. I raised a hand to my forehead, "Ok, so I must have actually died in Moscow because there's no way this shit is actually happening."</p>
<p>Tony set the tablet down at the foot of my bed and leaned against the railing there, "I know, I know. We're <em>very</em> dreamy, but this is happening. Guess it's your lucky day. God knows you needed one because the file SHIELD has on you reads like a <em>damn</em> tragedy."</p>
<p>"SHIELD has a file on me?" I turned to Clint.</p>
<p>"They do now." Clint said sheepishly. "Anyone they find with a skill set like yours registers as a potential risk. You're a low risk, but, you know... still a risk."</p>
<p>I bobbed my head up and down, "Didn't think they'd be impressed with my skill set of finding trouble within a 10-mile radius, but ok. I'll start putting that on my resume, I guess."</p>
<p>A SHIELD risk? That was kind of cool actually. If my brain was working at full power I'm sure I'd be more upset at that fact. However, my tired brain just thought it was neat. I'd have to come back to that little tidbit of information later when I was more sane.</p>
<p>"How'd you do it?" Tony suddenly asked and I tilted my head in confusion. "You know, <em>survive</em>. By all accounts, you should be dead."</p>
<p>"I heal quick." I replied again on reflex. He was right though. I had been through the ringer before and I've had my bad days, but this was a new level of trouble. After that last fight, I should've died. What happened? I remember a small room. A shitty bed. Someone was—</p>
<p>"We'll talk about that later." Clint said firmly, "Don't stress yourself. Concussions are nasty business."</p>
<p>I rubbed the back of my neck, "Yeah, I know. Hey, can I have a mirror or something? I just wanna see how bad I look."</p>
<p>Tony pulled out a fancy, touchscreen phone. It made the thick flip phone I had back in my apartment look like a relic. He lifted it up, "Say cheese." I smiled and threw my good hand up into a '<em>peace'</em> sign. Tony smirked, "That's a good one. New caller ID."</p>
<p>"You don't have my number and I don't think I have a phone anymore." I replied and took the phone from him to look at the picture of me. The swelling was gone. My lip was busted and there was a deep purple bruise still on my right jawline. That's the side Helga had really gone after. Bitch. The area under my right eye was still purple and blue and the skin under my left eye was light purple and yellow. That bruise would be gone by tomorrow at least. The bridge of my nose was purple, but it was straight. That was a miracle. I could remember Helga breaking it. My right cheekbone had a half-healed gash that I assumed was over where my fracture was. That one might scar unfortunately.</p>
<p>"Still pretty as a picture, honey." Tony reassured as I handed the phone back to him.</p>
<p>Clint shook his head again, "Aj, I'm sorry—"</p>
<p>"If you keep apologizing, I'm gonna break my <em>left</em> hand on your face. <em>Stop it."</em> I stopped him again. Tony snickered and Clint gave me a small smile. The agent was looking at me like I was about to fall apart or spontaneously burst into flames and it was odd.</p>
<p>The hospital room door opened again, and Natasha came in with a tall, familiar blond man. The red headed woman looked as put together as she always did. A purple blouse with a black leather jacket and skinny jeans. The guy was less dressed up than her, but I couldn't even tell you what he had on. I only stared at his face. Neatly combed blond hair, shoulders so broad you could melt in them, and strong features.</p>
<p>"<em>Holy shit</em>, you're Captain <em>fucking</em> America." I blurted. Captain America's cheeks tinted pink at my words while Natasha smirked, and Tony laughed. If I was less out of it, I might've been embarrassed. Maybe. Probably not. I mean, it was Captain America. I took an entire history class on this guy my senior year of undergrad.</p>
<p>"I'd like to file a complaint." Tony pulled my attention back to him, "I did <em>not</em> get a reaction like that and it seems a <em>little</em> unfair."</p>
<p>"How are you feeling?" Natasha came up to the bed.</p>
<p>"Like I might be hallucinating." I mumbled.</p>
<p>Captain America stepped up to the bed as well with a warm smile, "It's nice to meet you ma'am. My name is Steve Rogers. Sorry we pulled you into our mess."</p>
<p>"Oh, that's ok." I giggled. As soon as the sound came out of my mouth, I realized I had actually fucking giggled. Holy shit. Maybe Captain America's superpower was to make women swoon and do dumb shit.</p>
<p>"So, <em>he</em> can say sorry, but <em>I</em> can't?" Clint scoffed.</p>
<p>I snapped my gaze over to Clint and Tony who were standing on the left side of my bed, "I'm hearing a <em>lot</em> of complaints from the peanut gallery and <em>nobody</em> asked."</p>
<p>Steve Rogers chuckled, and I looked back to him. Steve. Why was that name fresh on my brain? Steve. He must have noticed the look of frustration on my face because his grew concerned, "Is everything alright, doll?"</p>
<p><em>Doll</em>.</p>
<p>
  <em>'Tell Steve I said to take care of you for me. Ok, doll?'</em>
</p>
<p>"<em>Toska</em>." I gasped. The Avengers said something, but I didn't even register what it was. I was in Manhattan and he was still in Moscow. Oh, God. He was strong. Toska was strong and had a badass metal arm, but how many of Vladimir's men could he handle before it became too much?</p>
<p>I scrambled to rip the IV out of my arm again. Clint dove over the bed and grabbed my hand before I could, "Will you <em>stop</em> trying to rip out your <em>damn</em> IV?!"</p>
<p>"Toska. We <em>have</em> to go back<em>. I</em> have to go back." I shook my head panicked. "We left him behind!" Clint sat back down, but he left his hand on top of my left one. Probably to keep me from freaking out again. He motioned for me to take a deep breath and I hesitantly listened. It felt good to be able to take a deep breath without coughing, and if I was gonna save Toska like he saved me then I needed a clear head. "He saved my life. Toska is the <em>only</em> reason I'm alive."</p>
<p>"The <em>only</em> reason?" Tony shook his head with narrowed eyes while motioning to himself.</p>
<p>Natasha rolled her eyes at him before looking back to me, "Toska isn't a name, Aj. Are you sure that's what he said?"</p>
<p>"Yeah he—I… If it's not a name what is it?"</p>
<p>"It's a word that doesn't translate well to English." She said slowly. "It means sadness. A deep melancholy and anguish."</p>
<p>The name fit him. The first thing I had noticed about him was that he looked sad. I sunk into the mattress beneath me in my own version of toska. He hadn't even told me his real name. How was I supposed to find him now?</p>
<p>Clint squeezed my hand and I looked back over to him, "Hey, we'll help you find him, ok? It's the least I can do. Can you describe what he looks like? Tony can already start running a search."</p>
<p>I gave him a tight-lipped smile and it only grew when Tony pulled his phone back out with a nod. This was good. If anyone could find him it was the Avengers, right? Steve gave me a reassuring nod. I took in a steadying breath, "He wasn't Russian. He spoke it really well, but he was American. From Brooklyn actually." I could feel Clint stiffen beside me but kept going. "Honestly, with y'all it should be easy to find him, he has a metal arm. There can't be many people running around with that, right?"</p>
<p>The entire room went still at my words. Tony nodded once more time and slipped his phone into his pocket, "Well, <em>that</em> answers <em>that</em>." Before I could question what that meant Steve turned and left the room. Clint rose, but Natasha shook her head and went after him. "He <em>helped</em> you? <em>Really</em>? Didn't put you in a choke hold or—"</p>
<p>"<em>Hey</em>." I snapped. "He's my <em>friend</em>. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him."</p>
<p>"Aj, his name is James Buchanan Barnes." Clint sighed. That name sounded familiar for some reason. "Also known as the Winter Soldier or… Bucky."</p>
<p>"Captain America had a friend named…" I said slowly as it dawned on me. Holy shit. Holy shit. I had been in a room with a guy from the 40's who was supposed to be dead. Steve Roger's best friend. The only Howling Commando who lost his life during the war.</p>
<p>Tony snapped his fingers, "She's got it now."</p>
<p>"Tash and I knew he was in the area, but we didn't know he was actually in the bunker." Clint said directly to Tony. "I should've told Steve, but…"</p>
<p>Clint's eyes glanced back to me and Tony's did as well. I cleared my throat, "What does 'the Winter Soldier' mean? And why do you think he would hurt me? He was a <em>good guy</em>. I remember that from history class."</p>
<p>"How much is she allowed to know?" Tony motioned to me, looking at Clint. "If you can't share then I'll tell her. <em>Loophole</em>. Patchy the pirate won't even know."</p>
<p>Clint shook his head at him then turned back to me, "Do you remember a few months ago when there was an…incident in Washington?"</p>
<p>I tried to think back. I wasn't one to pay much attention to the news, but if it involved the Avengers someone would've told me. The ache behind my eyes was growing the more I tried to focus, but I finally found something, "The planes. Y'all crashed a few planes to the ground?"</p>
<p>Clint opened his mouth to continue, but Tony cut in, "Quick point, I was <em>not</em> part of that <em>'y'all'</em>." It was weird hearing Tony Stark use the word '<em>y'all'  e</em>ven mockingly<em>.</em> He continued, "I wasn't invited to that party and by time I found out about it Capsicle had already nosedived the last helicarrier into a lake."</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus Christ</em>, that guy just does not like landing planes, does he?" I mumbled.</p>
<p>Tony's face broke out into a wide grin, but Clint didn't let him cut into the conversation again, "Yes, that. A nazi organization was trying kill a lot of people. We went in to stop them and they sent the Winter Soldier after us. Long story short, Bucky didn't die. This nazi organization grabbed him and turned him into a weapon." Clint sighed. "He's an assassin. Was, I guess. Steve has been looking for him since we ran into him."</p>
<p>No wonder he had been so broken up. No wonder he didn't take me with him. He was on the run. Toska—<em>No</em>, Bucky was just trying to keep me away from whoever was coming after him. He was good. I knew deep down he was good. The fact that someone as good as him had to go through that? To be turned into something awful? A weapon?</p>
<p>The door swung open with a bang and Steve stormed in. His face was set in determination. My entire body tensed unintentionally. Fight or flight. Even against a super soldier my stupid body <em>always</em> picked fight.</p>
<p>"Cap—" Tony began.</p>
<p>"Did he say where he was going?" Steve asked firmly. "Did he say <em>anything</em>? <em>Any</em> clue that—"</p>
<p>"<em>Steve</em>." Clint barked. The Captain's shoulders relaxed, but I didn't. I was shaking. The excess adrenaline of what I thought I needed coming out in the usual shakes. I balled up my left hand and pressed it against my abdomen to try and stop the shaking. This was embarrassing. "Hey, it's ok, Aj."</p>
<p>I glanced at Clint curiously and then I felt it. I was crying. The last time I had cried… God, I couldn't even remember. After so many fights and so many nights in the ring it was like my entire body had just gone numb. Nothing I did, nothing I saw, made me cry. Yet, here I was lying in a medical bed crying in front of the Avengers.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry." Steve said softly. Natasha set a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. I've been looking for him for a while now. If there's anything…"</p>
<p>I hastily swiped away the tears and ignoring the burning of my face and tip of my ears, "I don't. I'm sorry. He never told me where he was going to go. I asked him to take me with him, but he left me in the hallway. He led away Vladimir's men to give you guys time to find me." I bit down on my lower lip then flinched remembering it was busted. "He mentioned your name."</p>
<p>"He did? He remembered me?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "I think so. It seemed like it when he said it."</p>
<p>"What did he say about me?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>All eyes were on me and I had never felt so small before. I rubbed my face one more time and shrugged, "It wasn't… I don't think he actually wanted me to say it to you. I think… it was just his way to say good-bye to me?"</p>
<p>Steve set his hand lightly on my splinted one, "<em>Please</em>. Please tell me."</p>
<p>"He said", I took a deep breath, "He said, <em>'Tell Steve I said to take care of you for me</em>.'"</p>
<p>Steve's eyes widened slightly but he still nodded his thanks before leaving the room again. Natasha and Clint shared a look over my bed, and this time Clint was the one to follow after him. He gave me a tight smile before slipping out the door. I wasn't sure how, but it felt like I had disappointed Captain America.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony checked his watch. He still had a few hours to kill before he was needed at the Tower for some kind of start-up meeting. Those were the only meetings he sometimes enjoyed, but Pepper wouldn't tell him the details of what this one was about. That meant she knew he'd skip if he did. He nodded to the nurse at the station before moving down the hall. Aj was in one of the top floor care rooms. There were only six in the hospital, but he figured she could use something good in her life.</p>
<p>As he reached her door, Clint was coming out of it and nodded to him. It had been about a day since Aj had woken up and she was miraculously feeling better, but the doctors didn't actually trust it. They wanted to keep her a few more days for the concussion alone. Tony didn't blame them though. It was suspicious how quickly she was healing and if she hadn't come in with the damn Avengers the hospital probably would've questioned it. Luckily, they had no idea that the Avengers were just as confused as they were.</p>
<p>"Good, you're here." Clint breathed out a sigh of relief, "I need you to sit with Aj while I get some things done."</p>
<p>"You know she isn't a toddler, right? You can leave her alone for a few minutes at a time?" Tony motioned to the door with the hand he was using to hold his coffee cup. Clint had been overbearing while she was knocked out, and now he was only worse. "Where are you going anyways? Drawing up the adoption papers?"</p>
<p>Clint rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, "You're a riot."</p>
<p>"I'm also not wrong."</p>
<p>"<em>I'm also not wrong</em>." Clint mocked under his breath while shooting out a text. Tony smirked in amusement. Even he knew the archer had a knack for picking up strays. He couldn't really blame him on this one though. Aj, despite being one of the most independent people he's met, really screamed '<em>Please help me'</em>. She needed some kind of ally in this world. "I gotta meeting with Fury plus I gotta find a job for Aj."</p>
<p>Tony shook his head once, "You have to <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"I have to find her some kind of job." Clint sighed and Tony knew there was no way Aj had actually asked him to do that. He continued, "If I don't find her something to do then she's gonna just go right back to the ring."</p>
<p>Tony scoffed, "She nearly <em>died</em>, Clint. No one in their right mind would go back."</p>
<p>Clint gave him a look before taking a call that came through. He nodded once at Tony before hurrying down the hall. He never would've described Clint as a worrier. The agent was usually as calm and chipper as it got. This was going overboard though. Tony wanted to help get her back to her feet. Aj had no cash, no home, and right now no real future. He could fix at least two of those things.</p>
<p>"Hey, sunshine." Tony breezed into the room.</p>
<p>Aj didn't look up from the Stark Phone he had given to her, "What's up, tin can?"</p>
<p>"Hey. You're not supposed to be playing with that. Concussions and electronics or whatever the doc said." Tony pointed at her.</p>
<p>Aj raised an eyebrow at him, "Says the man who <em>gave</em> me the phone."</p>
<p>Tony wasn't Clint so he didn't bother trying to pull the phone away. She didn't seem like she was in any pain anyways. He grinned smugly, "You like it though, don't you?" Tony walked over to sit in the chair by her bed. Aj had fought and refused to take the damn thing, but when he finally got it in her hands she didn't let go. "Figure out all the bells and whistles?"</p>
<p>Aj chuckled, "<em>Maybe</em>? This is the first touch screen item I've owned in my entire life."</p>
<p>"Are you sure you lived in Jersey City and not like, you know, a <em>cave</em>?"</p>
<p>"My apartment wasn't much different from a cave actually." She shrugged and set the phone down to shoot him a smile. "Did Barton wrestle you into baby-sitting?"</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "No, no. I volunteered for it."</p>
<p>Aj laughed, "The guy thinks I'm gonna bolt the moment no one is looking."</p>
<p>"Well, you did try to rip out your IV <em>twice</em> yesterday."</p>
<p>"Fair point." Aj relented and leaned her head back into the pillow. He could tell she was itching to get out of the hospital. Aj couldn't stay still, she squirmed every few minutes and her fingers tapped against her thigh. She looked like he did anytime he was stuck in a meeting he didn't want to be at for longer than 5 minutes. "Have they said when I can leave yet?"</p>
<p>"Doctors said a few more days."</p>
<p>Aj rolled her eyes, "I'm fine. The worst is over."</p>
<p>"Yeah, how is that?" Tony questioned and Aj gave him a curious look. He shrugged, "You've healed <em>extraordinarily</em> fast. <em>Suspiciously</em> fast I would say."</p>
<p>"I'm a qui—"</p>
<p>"If you say you're a quick healer I'm taking the phone back."</p>
<p>Aj smirked, "Hey, the only reason I took that thing was because I figured it'd be nice to own one thing in my life."</p>
<p>"No, you own <em>two</em>." He motioned to the couch where the leather jacket she had worn was, "Funny how both are things <em>I</em> bought but…"</p>
<p>Aj's smile faltered, "Where's the other jacket I had on?"</p>
<p>"Bucky's jacket?" He questioned and watched as she nervously averted her gaze. Steve hadn't been back since she broke the news to him, and Tony was pretty positive that it was because he was planning a search team to hit Moscow again. Tony didn't know the Winter Soldier, but something told him he wasn't going to stick around and wait for Steve to show up. "I'm getting it dry cleaned. I'll get it back to you."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Stark."</p>
<p>There was a brief moment of silence before Tony couldn't resist checking his own theory. He leaned forward, "So, funny thing, Clint seems to think that the moment we let you out of here you're going to go running back to the ring. That true?"</p>
<p>Aj's eyes widened, "<em>What</em>? <em>Absolutely</em> not. I'm <em>never</em> working there again."</p>
<p>"That's <em>exactly</em> what I told him." Tony smiled at the small victory. Clint really was worrying too much and there was no way someone as independent as Aj was going to take a job from them. She barely took the damn phone—</p>
<p>"I mean, I <em>am</em> gonna go back to the ring to beat the shit out of Boss, but that's different."</p>
<p><em>Fuck</em>.</p>
<p>Tony pressed his lips together briefly, nodding at the nonchalant look on her features, "You're going to go beat the shit out of Boss? That's your plan?" Aj nodded firmly. "You're going to <em>leave</em> the hospital, the one that's treating you for <em>a number of issues</em>, mind you, and you're going to go straight to the ring. The ring where this Boss guy is, with <em>all</em> his men and resources, and you're just going to <em>walk in</em> and fist fight a few guys, huh?"</p>
<p>Aj twisted her lips, "Well when you say it like that it sounds dumb."</p>
<p>"I could say it in <em>any</em> tone, <em>any</em> <em>language</em>, and it would sound dumb because it <em>is</em> dumb. I'm a genius, trust me."</p>
<p>"I gotta do <em>something</em>!" Aj replied. "That asshole made my life hell for <em>years</em> and then he sold me to some fucking <em>Russians</em>. He deserves it."</p>
<p>Tony waved his hand at her, "Not arguing that. He very obviously deserves it, but you won't get a finger on him. A guy like him isn't just waiting around for someone like you to show up and beat him up." Aj shrugged, but the look in her eye told him that she hadn't let this go. Tony groaned, "Damn it, now <em>I </em>need to find you a job."</p>
<p>"I never asked for that."</p>
<p>"What sort of interests do you have? Applicable skills?" Tony ignored her and pulled out his phone so he could look at the file they had on her already. She had a Bachelor Degree in Biology and a Minor in Psychology, that was something. He hummed to himself, eyebrows raised in pleasant surprise, "You got accepted into Colombia's medical program? That's no small feat. Why didn't you go, smalls?"</p>
<p>Aj scooped up her phone and tapped it against her lap, "I chose to get punched in the face for a living instead."</p>
<p>"And <em>why</em> <em>wouldn't</em> you? I'm sure the dental plan is amazing." Tony mumbled. "Do you wanna go? A few donations and they'll open the doors again. You already got accepted—"</p>
<p>"I spent five years in that underground fighting ring." Aj replied. "Four years of medical school <em>honestly </em>sounds <em>worse</em>."</p>
<p>Tony put his phone away, "What do you want then? Help <em>me</em>, help <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>"I'm in a five-star hotel room posing as a hospital room. You've helped enough." Aj said. "I don't need any other pity gestures, alright?"</p>
<p>"Who said it's a pity gesture?"</p>
<p>"You don't know me, and if I'm being honest, I don't <em>actually</em> know you." Aj replied stiffly. There it was. That look of distrust mingled with fear. She was in a new setting, with new people, and she didn't trust it. Aj was like a caged animal let loose. The door was open for her to run, but she didn't trust it enough to make a break for it. Tony didn't blame her. It looked like her entire life was a series of her just getting fucked over by people who she thought might help her. "It's been a <em>real</em> blast, but as soon as I'm out of here you won't see me again."</p>
<p>Tony sighed, "Little miss sunshine", Aj rolled her eyes but he pressed on, "All I'm asking is you give us a <em>little</em> trust. Give <em>me</em> a little trust. You handed out your trust to the <em>Manchurian Candidate</em>—"</p>
<p>"<em>Hey</em>."</p>
<p>"That's all I want. The <em>same</em> initial trust you gave <em>him</em>. He didn't let you down, and we won't either." Tony said firmly. "I think I deserve it. I mean, I did also save your life. <em>That</em> happened and I'm not getting <em>nearly</em> as much credit as I think I should be getting."</p>
<p>Aj laughed then looked down to her phone. Her hands absentmindedly played with the item. She didn't look up, "It worked with Bucky, but historically, me putting my trust in someone I don't know hasn't gone well." She looked at him. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think I could survive another disappointment."</p>
<p>"Oh, I <em>don't</em> disappoint." Tony smirked. It got exactly the reaction he wanted though. Aj snickered and shook her head. The tension had broken, and they were at ease again. Tony wasn't sure if she was actually going to listen, but he was happy that she was joking around again. There weren't many strangers who would throw snarky comments right back at him. He motioned back to the phone, "You put my number in that, right?"</p>
<p>"Who says I wanna keep in touch with you?" Aj hit back without missing a beat.</p>
<p>Tony grinned. Finding her a job wouldn't be too hard for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Clint was a fun guy to hang out with. I figured that out days ago when we had brunch together. He was great company to have, but if I had to stay in this hospital for another second, I was going to lose my damn mind. As pretty as this room was with the sun setting outside and filling the white room with a warm orange glow, it still felt a little prison like. The walls were closing in on me inch by inch.</p>
<p>"It's only a hot dog stand, but Greg knows what he's doing. <em>Absolute</em> professional." Clint said. He was walking me through the best places for various foods throughout all of New York City, and I wasn't surprised to find out that I knew none of them.</p>
<p>"Sounds amazing." I nodded. "We should go <em>right now</em>. I'm starving."</p>
<p>Clint grinned, "Nice try. You're here for another full day though."</p>
<p>"Clint, not to be dramatic, but if I stay here for another hour, I'll fucking <em>die</em>." I groaned and Clint only chuckled at my distress. "All that work y'all put into saving me right down the drain."</p>
<p>"Hey, just relax. Enjoy the break."</p>
<p>"I'm good at <em>two</em> things and relaxing is <em>not</em> one of them."</p>
<p>"The two things?"</p>
<p>"Eating. Fighting." I listed them off.</p>
<p>Clint leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms, "You still haven't told me where you learned to fight. You're surprisingly good." I gave him a look and he shook his head. "Ok, we knew you were good, but you kind of caught us all off guard."</p>
<p>I shrugged, "I learned as a sport when I was a kid, and then when what was left of my family bailed on me, I started fighting for money. Didn't really care about the money though. I was fighting to fight."</p>
<p>"Your family—"</p>
<p>"I know you know." I replied. Another day that might have upset me, but Clint had gained enough pull with me that I didn't care all that much. "It's in my file, right?"</p>
<p>"I bounced around foster homes too. It was me and my older brother." Clint said softly and my eyes widened. He shook his head. "The foster homes sucked, but it was better than getting kicked around by our dad. When I was 13, Barney and I ran away from the system and we actually ended up working with a traveling circus." He didn't have to tell me any of this, but the fact that he was really meant a lot. Clint chuckled without humor, "That's kind of where Hawkeye was born. Anyways, it worked for a while. Got pulled into some trouble though. A guy I thought was a friend beat me within an inch of my life and left me for dead. Barney went with him."</p>
<p>I wanted to say something, but there really was nothing to say. No words could soothe the ache that something like that left behind. My story wasn't <em>nearly</em> as traumatic, but abandonment was abandonment. It left a scar that screwed with every relationship you have from that point on.</p>
<p>"Aubrey was my older sister, but I was the one who took care of her. Our entire lives it was always me fighting off the bullies or cheering her up." I twisted my lips. "Mom got sick and died. Dad couldn't recover from the loss and bailed. Aubrey and I at least had each other though. At least, that's what I <em>thought</em>. As soon as she hit 18, her and the guy she was seeing at the time ran off and left me alone. I, uh, <em>didn't</em> handle it well."</p>
<p>Clint nodded once, offering me a soft smile, "Sucks, huh?"</p>
<p>I chuckled with a smile of my own, "Yeah. It <em>really</em> sucks."</p>
<p>The two of us laughed about our matching scar and that wasn't something I thought I could laugh about. It was something I didn't even like thinking about. Clint was good though. He went through that shit and so much more, I was sure, and yet here he was cheerful and laughing. He was trying to pull me under his wing regardless of how much I fought it.</p>
<p>"Do you really <em>never</em> miss with that bow and arrow?" I asked curiously.</p>
<p>"I <em>never</em> miss, <em>period</em>." Clint scoffed.</p>
<p>"Hm, I'll believe it when I see it." I said mostly just to annoy him. Clint looked appalled that I needed proof of his skills at all. Before he could defend himself, I cut in, "Also what's the best way for me to convince Natasha to fight me?"</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?"</p>
<p>"I just <em>really</em> want to spar with her. Maybe I can get some tips from her. Maybe have her teach me how to kill a man with my thighs alone." I shrugged nonchalantly.</p>
<p>Clint held his hand up, "Hey, I could give you some tips."</p>
<p>"What're you giving her, bird brain?"</p>
<p>We both glanced over to see Tony stroll in. I raised my eyebrows in confusion. He had just been here this morning and I didn't expect him back until tomorrow. Tony was fun to talk to, so I didn't really mind, it was just odd.</p>
<p>"You're back already?" I asked.</p>
<p>Tony pointed at me, "I don't like your tone and as your future boss you can count this as your <em>first</em> official <em>warning</em>. Three strikes and something happens, I don't know what yet."</p>
<p>I turned to Clint who just shrugged then looked back to Tony who was just typing away on his phone as if he didn't just say what he just said.</p>
<p>"You're not my—"</p>
<p>"Pepper's been telling me to get a personal assistant for months now and I've been putting it off. Turns out I was rewarded for the procrastination." Tony said chirpily, "And <em>you</em>, sunshine, landed a job."</p>
<p>I turned to Clint again, "Did you know about this?"</p>
<p>"I had an idea. I've been working on something myself, but this might be better."</p>
<p>This was too good to be true. Hell, none of it made any kind of sense. I was not the kind of person who got a job offered to them by some bizarre billionaire superhero. I wasn't the kind who got to stay in fancy hospital rooms with the best healthcare had to offer. I wasn't the kind people went out of their way to save. It wasn't worth it. <em>I</em> wasn't worth it.</p>
<p>"Before you argue, you're plenty capable. If you're smart enough to get into medical school then you're smart enough to keep track of my schedule." Tony said quickly. "Now I don't have to pay attention in meetings because you'll do it for me. This is great. I—"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." I said firmly. They both gave me a confused look. How was this confusing for them in any way? I was the one who's life suddenly took a drastic 180. "Y'all don't owe me shit."</p>
<p>"Aj—"</p>
<p>"No, Clint, listen." I cut him off. "Yes, I got kidnapped and shipped to Russia. You feel guilty about that, ok. You <em>really</em> shouldn't because it was only a matter of time before Boss pulled a stunt like selling me to someone, but that's beside the point. I didn't expect <em>anything</em> from <em>any</em> of you. So, the fact that you guys came and <em>picked me up</em> from <em>Moscow</em> was more than enough." They were both quiet for a moment. "We're <em>even</em>. Hell, we're <em>beyond</em> even. I actually already owe you more than I'd like so…"</p>
<p>Tony scratched the side of his face, "Are you done?" I nodded. "Ok, good, so I'm thinking you start Monday. That'll give you a long weekend to get ready—"</p>
<p>"You're a <em>genius</em>." I snapped. "There's no way you misunderstood <em>anything</em> I just said, big bucks."</p>
<p>"This isn't about us trying to make something up to you, Aj." Clint tried to reassure me, "I consider you a friend. Do you consider me a friend?"</p>
<p>I had a feeling I knew where this was going and hesitated. Bucky was my friend. I didn't give two shits about his past or the mess he was in. He saved my life, gave me comfort, and I trusted him. Bucky was my friend. Clint? He saved me too. He crossed an <em>ocean</em> to get to me, and I had even told him about Aubrey. Aw, <em>shit</em>, he was my friend too.</p>
<p>I sighed and shifted in my seat, "Yeah, I guess."</p>
<p>Clint smirked, "Friends help friends, don't they? If I needed help, you'd be there for me, right?" Reluctantly, I nodded. It was the truth. His grin grew, "<em>See</em>? I'd be a shitty friend if I didn't help you get back on your feet after what happened."</p>
<p>The bastard had backed me into a corner and based on the smug look on his face he knew it. Tony cleared his throat and we glanced back over at him. He motioned to the two of us, "You done with your cute little moment? Because we have to talk logistics now."</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes at him, "Not a lot of people say '<em>no'</em> to you, do they?"</p>
<p>The infamous Tony Stark smirk was painted on his face and it was just as smug as when I saw it on the television, "I can only think of one, and I don't plan on letting you become the second."</p>
<p>"Alright, what am I getting myself into?"</p>
<p>"Don't worry, working with me is a <em>pleasure</em>." Tony said and Clint scoffed. "The PA job is pretty self-explanatory. I'll get you a Stark Industries tablet so you can hook it up with the tower and keep track of my meetings. You can play around with it this weekend, get a feel, and then on Monday we take off the training wheels."</p>
<p>I blinked, "Taking the training wheels off on day one?"</p>
<p>"I have a lot of faith in you, sunshine." Tony reassured, "Now, the PA job comes with an apartment located <em>in</em> the tower—"</p>
<p>"<em>Whoa</em>." I held my hands up and Tony rolled his eyes. I turned to Clint who looked equally surprised this time. "There's <em>no way</em> that's a <em>normal</em> PA thing."</p>
<p>"Being <em>my</em> PA is a full-time job—"</p>
<p>"That sounds more like a nanny job."</p>
<p>"—and having you close by will help things out." Tony shrugged. "Plus, Fury already made me give all the <em>other</em> children their own space."</p>
<p>Clint cut in, "Fury said give us a place to sleep. A <em>bed</em>. You gave us each our own <em>floor</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Irrelevant</em>." Tony replied. I didn't know who this Fury guy was, and it wasn't really my main concern to ask right now. Tony pointed his phone at me, "Thor's always gone doing Princely stuff in Asgard so his floor is completely open for you to take. Plus, Steve is probably gonna stalk you now so that'll make it easier on the old man."</p>
<p>I held my hands up and took in a deep, steadying breath, "You say these <em>crazy</em> things in your <em>normal</em> tone as if I'm just gonna <em>nod along with it</em>! <em>Why</em> am I being stalked by Captain America? Another PA perk or…?"</p>
<p>"Bucky asked him to look out for you." Clint shrugged, "We haven't really talked to him about it, but there's no way he isn't going to take that seriously. Using the word '<em>stalk'</em> is a kinda crazy, but in case you haven't noticed Tony is crazy."</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "When you have as much money as I do the correct term is '<em>eccentric'</em>."</p>
<p>This was not the turn I expected today to take, but I could work with this. Right now, I didn't really have any concrete plans. I only had loose concepts on a flexible to-do list in my brain. One of the top things on this to-do list was find Bucky. I had no real plan for it, and considering the Avengers couldn't even track him down that didn't bode well for me, but the only chance I had was through them.</p>
<p>Tony stuck around for a little longer to tell me more about the job that I now apparently had. It really didn't sound very hard, but I had a feeling Tony Stark was going to make it way more difficult than it needed to be. After he left, it was just Clint and I again. He'd have to leave soon, visitor hours were ending, and I told him if he slept here again instead of his own bed I was gonna kick his ass, but there was one last thing I needed to talk to him about. It was another item on my to-do list.</p>
<p>"Hey, Clint." I broke the silence between us. Clint had his eyes on the TV in the corner where some Spanish novela was playing, but he turned to me at my voice, "I need to go back to the ring."</p>
<p>His features hardened, "Aj."</p>
<p>"Not like that." I shook my head. "You're planning on taking the ring down, aren't you?" Clint looked like he wanted to deny it, but I had heard him talk about it on the phone with someone earlier today. "I know you are. I want to be there."</p>
<p>"I don't know if that's a good idea, Aj."</p>
<p>"Boss made my life a living hell for the last <em>five</em> years." I tried to keep my voice steady. "Clint, I <em>need</em> to be there. I want that closure. <em>Please</em>." He still looked hesitant, but I gave him a smile, "I'm asking as a friend."</p>
<p>Clint chuckled and shook his head, "Alright, but what I say goes. You aren't going off on your own. You'll stick with either me or Tash. Got it?"</p>
<p>I nodded in excitement. This was an item I could mark off my list.</p>
<p>Confront Boss.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>There were multiple branches of the ring I worked for. One in Harlem, one in Queens, another in Brooklyn, and then there was the one in Jersey City. My ring. The Pit. This was the one Boss stuck around the most. It was the largest and worked as his headquarters. From his office there, he managed all his sins. The ring itself was located near the docks and it was a large basement connected to a few other basements of the neighboring buildings. It wasn't entirely well-hidden, but Boss had friends in the NYPD that looked the other way for him.</p>
<p>I walked into the ring for the thousandth time, but this time was different than all the others. SHIELD agents were everywhere. An entire squad had broken in and were now arresting everyone here. This was a small-time mission that ran way below what SHIELD usually dealt with. No one had expected them to come, and especially not during Boss' monthly meeting with his ring managers. It was really perfect. It was as if someone who knew Boss' entire schedule had given him up while also getting in touch with all the worthy fighters who didn't deserve to get arrested for this. <em>Huh</em>.</p>
<p>Clint tapped my elbow and nodded for me to continue following him. He didn't let me anywhere near the scene when they broke in, and as much as I wanted to be a part of it, I had agreed to listen. Others from the squad nodded at him as he passed. Clint had on his Hawkeye uniform. A form fitting black suit with dark purple on the chest in a chevron. He had his bow in one hand. It was kind of weird seeing him in work mode.</p>
<p>He had tried to talk me out of this one last time. The timing wasn't great, and he worried, but I didn't relent. So as soon as the hospital discharged me, I put on the clothes he brought me, jeans, boots, and a tank top, and the mission was on. I had my leather jacket on top of it.</p>
<p>"Are you sure about this?" Clint asked quietly.</p>
<p>"Yeah." I said nervously.</p>
<p>This was a dream come true. How long had I imagined getting back at Boss? It was my all-time favorite daydream. Now that it was here though, I just felt nervous. I rubbed the splint on my wrist with my left hand unable to stay still. Clint pulled me towards where Boss' office was and I could hear his damned voice.</p>
<p>Clint set his hand on my back and I stepped into the room. Natasha was lounging on the couch in her own form fitting Black Widow uniform while two men with guns stood over three men on their knees, handcuffed, in front of the desk. Boss and two of his favorite goons.</p>
<p>Boss' beady eyes landed on me and widened comically. My nerves slipped away, and a weird calm settled over me. I walked toward him and stopped a few feet away.</p>
<p>"Hey there, Boss man. You look surprised to see me."</p>
<p>"<em>You</em>—" Boss growled, his pale face turning red in anger.</p>
<p>I knelt down so we were at eye level and motioned to Clint and Natasha who stood behind me, "It turns out you were right. They <em>are</em> secret agents. Who would've guessed, huh?"</p>
<p>"You did this, you <em>bitch</em>." Boss spat. "Why won't you just die?"</p>
<p>"Well it wasn't for lack of trying on your part." I smiled and motioned to the remaining wounds on my face. His anger only grew, and it only settled me more. I chuckled, "We've come a long way haven't we, Boss?"</p>
<p>"You <em>roach</em>." Boss glared at me. "I let you be a part of this world, I take you under my wing, and this is the thanks I get? Did you find a new man to <em>mooch</em> off of, pet?"</p>
<p>I scoffed, "<em>Mooch</em>? The idea of me <em>mooching</em> <em>off you</em> is <em>hilarious</em>. What did I gain from working for you, Boss? Hmm? <em>Not</em> money. <em>Not</em> any good memories. Just <em>scars</em>." He snarled and I didn't stop. "Do you remember the time you smashed the back of my head onto the corner of your desk because I lost a marathon? I still have a scar there, but you said you did me a favor by not marking up my pretty face." My hands started to shake. "How about the time you carved an 'X' onto my back because you thought I had taken money when really you just got <em>high</em> and <em>misplaced</em> it? Or—Or how about <em>every</em> fucking time you put your hands on me, you <em>disgusting</em> <em>piece of shit</em>. Every time you <em>caressed</em> my face or ran your <em>slimy</em> hand through my hair, I wished you would've just <em>fucking</em> hit me."</p>
<p>"Watch yourself. You're walking a thin line." Boss said lowly.</p>
<p>"I spent so much time wondering what I was going to do to you one day. I <em>daydreamed</em> of breaking my hand on your face. Watching you <em>choke</em> on your own <em>teeth</em>. I knew I was going to kill you though. Some day." I was radiating with anger. Every memory I drug up from the depths of my mind only made my rage grow.</p>
<p>Boss let out a loud laugh, "Is that what this is, you <em>whore</em>? You brought SHIELD here to kill me? Go ahead, <em>Small Fry</em>. Kill me. <em>Reveal</em> your true colors for <em>all</em> of us to see!"</p>
<p>"I was going to. Even hid this—" I pulled the hospital's silver butter knife out from the pocket in my jacket and let it fall to the floor. If Clint and Natasha had a reaction to that I didn't see it. "I was gonna bury that knife into your jugular and watch you <em>bleed to death</em> on your <em>fucking</em> office floor. The same place you handcuffed me to a radiator for a weekend with no food or water. I knew the agents would probably have to take me to jail after that and I wouldn't get that new job I have lined up, but…I thought it'd be worth it."</p>
<p>"You're <em>pathetic</em>. <em>Weak</em>. You <em>worthless</em>, stupid girl."</p>
<p>"<em>Watch it</em>." Clint snapped from behind my shoulder.</p>
<p>Boss chuckled, "Is he your new master? The one who holds your leash now, <em>bitch</em>? You're <em>weak</em>. Everything I did was to make you stronger, and it was a <em>waste</em>. I should've killed you years ago."</p>
<p>"<em>Mmm</em>, but you <em>didn't</em>." I grinned. The same smile I gave my opponent on the other side of the ring. The smile that was more threat than reassurance. "And now you go to prison. Where you'll <em>rot</em>. Where you'll be <em>bottom of the barrel</em>. You think you're <em>big and bad</em> here with your <em>money</em> and <em>thugs</em>, but in prison you'll just be the <em>tiny, pasty asshole</em> that <em>everyone</em> steps on. Every single day you'll sit in your <em>small concrete</em> cell, looking through the bars, and you'll know that it was <em>me</em> who put you there." Boss was seething now. I chuckled, "You can call me pathetic and weak all you want. <em>I fucking won</em>."</p>
<p>With a guttural snarl, he dove toward me, hands still handcuffed behind him, and I threw my left elbow forward to meet his face. I heard the crunch of his nose before Clint yanked me up off the ground and pushed me behind him. Natasha stood in front of Clint looking bored while Boss howled in pain.</p>
<p>"You bitch! <em>This isn't over</em>! I have friends <em>all over</em> and you'll <em>regret</em> this. My lawyers will get me out of this, and I will <em>end you</em>. I will make you wish you were <em>never fucking born</em>."</p>
<p>I peeked around Clint's side with a smirk, "Okie dokie. Have fun in prison, Boss. Don't drop the soap."</p>
<p>Boss continued to scream in anger, but I turned and left the room. My feet didn't stop until I reached my small broom closet. I sat down on the ratty couch and leaned my elbows against my knees. For a minute, I just stared at my shaking hands. It was done. It was over. I never had to step foot in this disgusting hell hole again. Boss was done for and I was free.</p>
<p>"You ok, kid?"</p>
<p>I glanced up to see Clint leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. His bow was slung on his back. He raised an eyebrow at me. I took in one more breath while closing and opening my hands best I could with the splint. After a second, the shaking stopped.</p>
<p>"Yeah." I stood up. "Can we go get hot dogs from that Greg guy?"</p>
<p>Clint smirked and nodded his head for me to follow him out. I had been right. This <em>was</em> the end of the chapter, but this wasn't the end of my story. Hell, this was a <em>whole</em> new start.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Cinderella Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>
  <em>"You're the one who charged your brother for a Bluth frozen banana. I mean, it's one banana, Micheal. What could it cost? Ten dollars?" - Lucille Bluth (Arrested Development)</em>
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<p>I was not the kind of person who needed to be social. Maybe once upon a time I had been, but these days being alone didn't bother me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed talking to people and socializing. Granted, usually that was just me pissing someone off with my smart mouth, but everyone needs a hobby. Because I didn't actively need to be social though meant that over the past five years I never really sought it out. Just let it come to me, and it didn't often come to me. That was probably why I was so out of practice.</p>
<p>Why I was <em>so</em> <em>fucking</em> <em>awkward</em>.</p>
<p>"The weather is…<em>real</em> nice." I said slowly. The moment the words came out of my mouth I wanted to open the passenger door of the car I was in and just throw myself out onto the road.</p>
<p>Steve glanced over at me from the driver's seat, "Yeah, it is. Starting to get much colder."</p>
<p>"Yupp." I agreed and ran my hands against my jeans. "Thanks for coming, you really didn't have to."</p>
<p>"No, it's fine. You should thank Tony it's, uh, his car."</p>
<p>"Do you…not have a…?"</p>
<p>"No, I don't." Steve shook his head. "I have a motorcycle, but we thought that wouldn't be very helpful with moving."</p>
<p>I nodded, but technically I wouldn't need much space. I didn't plan on taking much from my apartment with me. Last night was when I got to see the apartment Tony said I could use, and it really came with <em>everything</em>. Literally everything. To the point that it was kind of overwhelming. So much so, that when Tony suggested I go get my stuff this morning I basically ran out only slowing down for Steve to pick me up.</p>
<p>"It's been a while since I've been out this way." Steve said, clearing his throat.</p>
<p>He was sitting stiff in his seat and I assumed that meant he felt as awkward as I did. I offered him a smile, "You're from Brooklyn, right?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Born and raised." Steve chuckled. "You?"</p>
<p>"I'm from small town Alabama, moved to NYC for college and haven't looked back." I shrugged.</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, glancing over at me, "You don't have much of an accent." I thought back to when Bucky called me out on my accent. At the memory I felt a cold chill run down my spine. The uncomfortable mattress beneath me. The pain, <em>God</em>, so much pain. "Aj? <em>Aj</em>?"</p>
<p>I snapped back to my senses and the coldness was gone. I was sitting in a warm, expensive car with Captain America driving to Jersey City. With a shaky breath I nodded, "Sorry. Um, I do have one it just only slips out when I'm drunk or…"</p>
<p><em>Dying</em>, apparently.</p>
<p>"Everything alright, doll?" Steve asked and he meant well but the word put me back into that room. I clenched my fist, the nails of my left hand digging into my palm, and slowly I slipped back to reality. What the <em>hell</em> was happening with me?</p>
<p>"Can you <em>not</em> call me that?" I asked, a little more panicked then I meant.</p>
<p>Steve's cheeks tinted pink and he shifted in his seat, "Sorry, I didn't mean any offense. I know it's an old phrase and a lot of women—"</p>
<p>"No, <em>no</em>." I cut him off reassuringly. "It's not that. I promise, Mr. Captain America, sir." He chuckled and I sighed. "You can honestly call me <em>anything</em> you want. Lord, knows I'm probably never gonna get Tony to stop calling me sunshine or Clint from calling me kid. I just… <em>He</em> used that word and when I hear it…"</p>
<p>Steve took in a sharp breath, "Oh. I understand. It can be tough coming back from something like that."</p>
<p>"Yeah, maybe, but I'm fine. Things like that don't bother me. I'm <em>never</em> bothered." I said more so to convince myself than Steve at this point. Honestly, I was probably just tired. It was hard sleeping in an unfamiliar place last night and by time I did fall asleep it was a restless one.</p>
<p>"If you don't want to talk about it, I understand, but can I ask…?"</p>
<p>"Bucky." I said and he sighed. "Ask away."</p>
<p>"How was he? The last time I saw him he was…<em>troubled</em>."</p>
<p>Troubled was a good word for it. I remembered the quick summary Clint had given me before. The last time Steve saw his best friend, he had tried to <em>kill</em> him. That had to be rough. I couldn't even imagine.</p>
<p>"He was good." I shrugged and looked out the window to the familiar scenery, "I could tell he was <em>really</em>sad about something, he never told me what, but he was <em>good</em>. He sat beside my bed keeping guard and joking around with me. Tos—um, <em>Bucky</em> made me feel safe." Steve took in a sharp breath. I chuckled sadly, "I was <em>dying</em> in a Russian bunker, but somehow he made me feel safer in those few days than the last five years in Jersey City."</p>
<p>Steve was smiling, but it was a distant one, "Bucky was good at that. He was always looking out for me when we grew up. Can't tell you how many times he drug me out of an alley fight."</p>
<p>"Captain America was picking alley fights?"</p>
<p>"Only the ones worth fighting." He glanced at me. Steve pulled the car onto my street and I motioned for him to just park on the side of the road. When the car pulled to a stop, I reached out to comfort him, but stopped halfway.</p>
<p>"Uh", My hand hesitated before I just tapped his shoulder a few times awkwardly, "I'm sorry." Steve glanced at my hand and I quickly pulled it away. He was smiling in amusement. "We'll find him. Then you and him can catch up on all the good ol' times and I can kick the shit out of him for giving me a fake name."</p>
<p>Steve let out a bark of laughter as we climbed out of the car. It felt a lot less awkward now and I was thankful for that. He stopped and glanced around himself, raising an eyebrow in question. I didn't blame him. This neighborhood was a real shit hole. I was just here because it was close-ish to the ring and affordable. <em>Very</em> affordable.</p>
<p>The issue now was that we both stood out like sore thumbs. Steve had on a t-shirt and jeans with a nice, navy jacket over it. Even me, who usually fit in here, now stood out. My leather jacket looked like money and the clothes that Natasha had loaned me were nice. It was lounge clothes, just a long sleeve shirt and some jeans, but one look and you could tell it cost some money.</p>
<p>"We should hurry." I pointed to my building. "We probably only have half an hour before this car gets stripped or stolen."</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?" Steve questioned in alarm, but I didn't reply. We both walked down the broken and old sidewalk, ignoring the looks we got from people sitting on their apartment steps or milling about. As we reached my building, a small three-story place that had seen better days, Steve quickened his pace a bit so he could open the door for me. I blinked in surprise and he motioned to the door, "After you, ma'am."</p>
<p>"Thanks." I slid in and the familiar smell of weed and mold hit me. "You don't have to call me ma'am though."</p>
<p>"You did say I could call you whatever I want."</p>
<p>I smirked, not expecting the comment from him. He had a smile of his own and I nodded appreciatively, "Ok, you got me there, <em>Captain</em>."</p>
<p>"How about a deal?" Steve opened the door to the staircase, and I walked in with a nod, "I won't call you ma'am, but you have to start calling me Steve. Not Captain America."</p>
<p>We reached the third floor and again he pulled the door open for me. I could get used to this kind of thing. I smirked and tried to see how he'd react if I pushed a little more, "Ok, <em>Stevie</em>." He chuckled and followed after me in the hall. "Sounds like a fair deal."</p>
<p>Steve was turning out to be a little more laid back than I assumed he'd be. I guess, I just figured Captain America would be a stiff, patriotic, goody-two-shoes kind of guy. It was refreshing to be wrong.</p>
<p>We walked to the end of the hall where my apartment was. Steve glanced around looking at the cracked walls and dirty carpets, "You…<em>lived</em> here?"</p>
<p>"Yupp. Home sweet home." I grabbed the doorknob and swung it open. Steve looked startled that it opened so easily. I nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I don't lock my door. Nothing worth stealing." Steve looked like he wanted to argue about something, but I shifted in place, "Hey, is there any way you can just stay <em>here</em>for a minute? I just…I kinda want a moment alone."</p>
<p>Steve took a step back, "Yeah, of course. Let me know if you need anything."</p>
<p>I gave him a smile in thanks then stepped into my apartment. Despite being gone for over a week, nothing in my place had been moved or touched. There really wasn't anything in here worth taking, and my neighbors knew if they came in I'd fight them. They knew who I worked for.</p>
<p>With a sigh, I moved into my bedroom and began to shove clothes into a duffel bag I had in my closet. Clothing wise, I really didn't own much. A few jeans, some t-shirts and tank tops, and some jackets for the crisp fall and freezing winter. I actually had more workout clothes than real clothes. Even undergarment wise, I only had one real bra. Everything else was a sports bra for fighting or working out.</p>
<p>It took me three minutes to pack my entire wardrobe into the small, black duffel bag. The only thing that didn't fit was a thick winter coat. How sad was that? I could fit my entire life in one tiny ass duffel bag in under five minutes.</p>
<p>I glanced around the bedroom. My bed was still unmade from the morning the agents woke me up. Only 10 days had passed and yet it felt like a lifetime. I moved back out into the living room and made a beeline to the bookshelf. The collection of books were probably the most expensive thing in this apartment and it was just old books from college that I never threw out. I grabbed the second to last book on the third shelf. The black cover was worn out and peeling. It was a Bible I never read. It was all I had of my mom. I flipped it open to the middle and all four pictures were still there.</p>
<p>One of me and my mom.</p>
<p>Another of Aubrey and I as kids.</p>
<p>The third was a picture of my dad and I at one of my volleyball games.</p>
<p>Lastly, was a picture of me and Granny. The last foster mother I had and the only one who ever gave a damn about me.</p>
<p>"You doing ok?"</p>
<p>I closed the book and glanced over my shoulder. Steve was standing in the doorway with concern on his features. I nodded with a tight-lipped smile, "Yeah. I'm good. Ready to go."</p>
<p>"<em>Already</em>?" Steve questioned. He motioned around the room. "I can help you pack some of this."</p>
<p>"<em>Nope</em>. I don't want it. Clean slate and all that."</p>
<p>I must have sounded more pathetic than I meant to because he stepped into the apartment and crossed the room to me. Steve didn't say anything though and I kind of appreciated that. There was nothing to say. There was nothing here I would miss. I thought I would feel sad about this, but instead I felt nothing.</p>
<p>"You want me to take that from you?" Steve offered his hand. I started to argue that he didn't need to do that, but he just kept his hand there with a smile I could only describe as smug. Who would've known Captain Steve Rogers had a smug bone in his body. I chuckled and slid the duffel bag off my shoulder to put in his hand.</p>
<p>"What a gentleman." I joked.</p>
<p>"Product of my time." He shrugged, then pointed behind him. "<em>Also</em>, there was a man out there who asked me if I wanted to buy a tiger or snake?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "Yeah, that's Python Pete. He runs an exotic zoo in the building, but I think most of the animals are just cats he found on the street." Steve raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned. "Don't make eye contact with him. He takes it as a challenge."</p>
<p>I gave his arm a pat with my hand and then walked out the door.</p>
<p>I didn't look back.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Clint sat at a desk that was not his own with his feet propped up and an arrow in his hand that he twirled around his fingers. He was bored out of his mind, and he really didn't need to be here. He didn't really like the new base of operations, it wasn't as nice as the old one, but this one also didn't have any HYDRA agents lurking around so that was a plus.</p>
<p>SHIELD was born anew in the aftermath of what happened, but it hadn't been easy and they weren't nearly what they used to be. They had gone from a large, worldwide organization to a small band of misfits. <em>Trusted</em> misfits though. Clint could say that he personally knew most of the official agents still working and those he didn't know were vouched for by the people he did. That was enough for him.</p>
<p>"How many times do I have to tell you to get your <em>ass</em> out of <em>my</em> chair and your <em>feet</em> off <em>my</em> desk?"</p>
<p>Clint dropped his feet to the floor with a grin. Agent Maria Hill stood in front of him. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a bun and there was a look of annoyance radiating from her bright blue eyes. He pointed the arrow at her, "Hill. How's it hanging?"</p>
<p>"Where is Nat? Why did she leave you unsupervised?" Maria asked while motioning for him to get up. Clint popped out of the seat and Maria sat down and immediately began to work on her computer. He had no doubt she was probably the busiest agent in the business. He patiently waited, drumming his fingers on her desk, and she finally rolled her eyes and looked to him. "I gave you a team to break up a fighting ring, I did the paperwork for it all, and I'm working on finding a Training Agent for your new recruit but—"</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah, I don't need that anymore." Clint waved her off. "Stark gave her a job as an assistant."</p>
<p>"Poor woman." Maria mumbled then shook her head, "Isn't the recruit also the one that just popped up on our radar?"</p>
<p>Clint shrugged, "Uh huh, but she's low risk."</p>
<p>Maria clasped her hands on her desk with a tilt of her head, "She's a potential <em>asset</em>. Fury wanted to meet her."</p>
<p>"Fury is running around the world doing God knows what." Clint waved her off. "Any meeting we have with him is through a secure video line. Isn't he a little busy to be bothering a 26-year-old woman from <em>Alabama</em>?"</p>
<p>Maria scoffed, "She's a 26-year-old woman who could potentially be an <em>inhuman</em>."</p>
<p>Clint stiffened but tried not to show it. Being an inhuman in this day and time was definitely better than it was 15 years ago, but it came with its own risks and dangers. A human with powers would be watched for their entire lives. Clint wasn't even 100% positive that's what was going on with Aj.</p>
<p>"I don't think she's an inhuman." Clint argued. "I think she's just…<em>lucky</em>."</p>
<p>"Lucky doesn't survive the wounds she had." Maria shot back. "I <em>saw</em> her file, I saw her medical record. With help or not, that woman should have <em>died</em> after that many blows to the head. Her brain should be <em>pudding</em>."</p>
<p>Clint knew she wasn't wrong, but he didn't like the idea of her being right either. Aj was safer as Tony Stark's personal assistant. Yes, she would spend most days irritated and contemplating the homicide of the billionaire, but she would be <em>safe</em>.</p>
<p>Clint owed her that.</p>
<p>"Hill." Natasha greeted as she walked up to them. She gave Clint a glance, "You ready to go?"</p>
<p>Clint nodded and Maria looked away from him to her, "Knock some common sense into your partner, Romanof?"</p>
<p>"Anything for you, Hill." Natasha joked before pulling Clint away. "Let us know when you need us."</p>
<p>They both walked out of the building to where the quinjet was hidden away. The new base was still in Washington, DC, but they were in the process of moving. At least, they were planning on it. Clint had a suspicion that's what Fury was working on.</p>
<p>"Why am I knocking sense into you this time?"</p>
<p>"Maria thinks Aj is inhuman."</p>
<p>"She probably is." Natasha replied and Clint's head snapped to her in surprise. The red head shrugged, "You've seen what we've seen. She <em>has</em> the inhuman potential. If she goes through terrigenesis it could <em>amplify</em>her odd skills. It's not often we see the power <em>leak</em> through and show <em>before</em> the change."</p>
<p>"Or we're <em>wrong</em>." Clint said back firmly. "We're <em>wrong</em> and if she tries to go through terrigenesis she'll <em>die</em>, Tash."</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "I know. I'm just telling you what you're trying not to think about. It's on the table and it <em>has</em> to be discussed at least once."</p>
<p>They got to the quinjet and Natasha opened the back hatch while also deactivating the cloaking device. Clint walked in first and moved straight to the cockpit to get the jet started. It took him a couple minutes to get them up into the air and then autopilot had it covered from there. Clint got out of his seat and saw Natasha sitting on the floor with her back against the seats. She patted the spot beside her with a quirk of her lips.</p>
<p>Clint sighed and dropped down to the spot. He laid his head in her lap and closed his eyes, "We have the chance to give her a <em>normal</em>, safe life. If we bring up this inhuman stuff it'll just be the <em>opposite</em>. <em>Shit</em>, she only <em>barely</em> trusts us."</p>
<p>Natasha ran her fingers through his dark blond hair, "She's going to be fine."</p>
<p>Clint just enjoyed the sensation of her fingers running across his scalp. After a moment, he opened one eye to look up at her with a smile, "You know, she wants you to teach her how to kill a man with her thighs."</p>
<p>She smirked, "That might be fun. The more she knows the better."</p>
<p>"Maybe I should teach her to shoot."</p>
<p>"Baby steps, <em>lyubimiy</em>."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony really had spared no expense when he built these apartments, but I guess that's what you could do if you were a billionaire. Thor's apartment, the one I was crashing in, was the bottom of the chain of apartments. Above this floor was Steve's, then Clint and Natasha's, then Dr. Bruce Banner's, and then Tony's. Apparently above Tony's floor was the penthouse and it was used as an open floor plan with a public kitchen, living room, and some other fancy shit. I hadn't been there yet, but Tony had given me the 5-minute speech.</p>
<p>The elevator opened right into my new apartment's den. There was a white set of couches surrounding a television with décor, past that was a dining room table with seats, and the wall past that was just a large window with the best view of Manhattan I had ever seen. To the left from there was a large, clean kitchen and another small nook area with a table in front of more windows. There was also an office room that I didn't see myself using much, but it was there. To the right was the bedroom and bathroom. The master bedroom was the size of my <em>entire</em> old apartment with a dark wood bedroom set and a king-sized bed. I honestly didn't know beds could get that size. The walk-in closet was bigger than my old bedroom and it looked absolutely hysterical that I had my small wardrobe in it. Finally, there was the bathroom which looked like something you'd find in a rich person spa. Marble floors, gold trim, a walk-in shower I could run laps in.</p>
<p>I was thankful. I had a roof over my head and there were days in my past where that wasn't always guaranteed. The apartment didn't feel like a real home though. It felt like I had walked in on some movie set. Thor hadn't left behind anything personal or any décor so at least it didn't feel like I was taking over his home. It just felt…<em>blank</em>.</p>
<p>Right now, I was sitting on the floor in front of the window just looking out above the world. It felt weird to sit on any of the furniture. Like someone was going to come in and snap at me for putting my unworthy body on something so expensive.</p>
<p>I pulled my knees closer to my chest and rested my chin on them. It was a clear, sunny day and I could see everything. This was probably going to become my favorite spot in this apartment because honestly, I hadn't ever seen anything prettier.</p>
<p>"Getting settled?"</p>
<p>I jumped up, panicked, but my eyes only landed on a smirking Clint. He leaned on the dining room table behind me with one hand. I let the tension roll off me and crossed my arms, "How'd you sneak up on me?"</p>
<p>"I'm a secret agent of SHIELD." He shrugged. "And you're <em>good</em>, but you're not '<em>Clint and Natasha'</em> good yet."</p>
<p>"I kicked that one secret agent's ass."</p>
<p>Clint nodded, "Which was impressive, but <em>still</em> not at our level."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "Aren't you supposed to be in DC?"</p>
<p>"I was. Just got back."</p>
<p>"<em>Already</em>?"</p>
<p>"Quinjets are quick." He replied and I nodded as if I knew what the fuck a quinjet was. Clint lifted his hand off the table to pull something out of his back pocket and slam it on the table with a grin, "Congrats, kid. You're my kid."</p>
<p>I scoffed and grabbed the papers he had slammed down, "What?"</p>
<p>"I'm adopting you."</p>
<p>"First off, I'm a 26-year-old woman. You <em>can't</em> adopt me. You're about <em>eight years</em> too late, weirdo." I unfolded the paper to see the word '<em>Adoption'</em> written across the top and also a set of cutely drawn paw prints. "<em>Also</em>, this is the paperwork they give you at an <em>animal shelter</em> when you're looking to adopt a <em>pet</em>!"</p>
<p>Clint shrugged sheepishly, "The idea behind the sentiment is the same, isn't it?"</p>
<p>"You're batshit crazy, Hawkeye." I tossed the papers back onto the table and moved toward the kitchen. The fridge was fully stocked and according to Tony it always would be. He had people for that. Rich people, man. "Anything else I can help you with?"</p>
<p>Clint leaned against the kitchen's island counter while I pulled a water bottle out of the fridge, "Just wanted to check in and see how you're settling into your new home." I snorted in amusement before taking a swig of water. Clint raised an eyebrow at me, "I know I'm hilarious but what was the joke there?"</p>
<p>"This is <em>hardly</em> a home." I shrugged. "Do you guys <em>all</em> really live here?"</p>
<p>Clint looked like he wanted to touch on my first topic, but nodded instead, "This is Avengers headquarters and it was just easy for us to have a place to crash if we needed to. Tash and I have a few other places all over the world."</p>
<p>"Agent thing?"</p>
<p>"Yupp. And then Tony has a house on almost every continent. Some with multiple houses."</p>
<p>"Billionaire thing?"</p>
<p>Clint chuckled, "Banner stays here regularly and so does Steve. I think they both originally planned on finding an apartment in the city, but not much beats this view." He pointed behind him. "Plus, the rent of zero dollars a month is <em>pretty</em> great."</p>
<p>I bobbed my head in agreement. He wasn't wrong there and as someone who had nothing to her name it was very appealing. Tony said he was going to pay me for the assistant job though and I'm sure the paycheck would be exorbitant and ridiculous. After a month or two I could find my own place and move out.</p>
<p>"This could be your home, you know?" I shook myself out of my thoughts and glanced at Clint who had traded his smirk for a sincere smile. Clint knocked on the counter a few times, "<em>Forreal</em>. This could be your home, but you <em>gotta</em> give it a real chance."</p>
<p>I crossed my arms, "We're friends. I get that. I've accepted it. But…why are you and Tony so <em>hell bent </em>on bringing me into your <em>weird</em> little group?"</p>
<p>"Tash wants you here too. She said she wouldn't mind teaching you some moves once you heal up." Clint pointed at me. It was the first real tempting offer I had gotten from him. He grinned, "Steve does too because he's gotta take care of you for his best friend."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I <em>really</em> don't think Bucky meant that literally."</p>
<p>"<em>And</em> when you meet Banner, I'm sure he'll like you too! I see nothing wrong with that."</p>
<p>"Yeah, well what happens in three months when y'all realize I'm an <em>asshole</em>."</p>
<p>Clint shrugged, "I <em>already</em> think you're an asshole."</p>
<p>I held back my laugh, "The point remains. Y'all take me in now but you'll probably end up regretting it and then where does that leave me?" Clint nodded his head slowly and I played with the bottle in my hands nervously. Being out of my element made me uncomfortable. "I'm not good at relationships. I can make you laugh now and it's fun because I'm new and shiny, but… Once that <em>wears off</em> y'all are gonna be left with a <em>real</em>mess."</p>
<p>"I get why you think that. Here's the thing and I know you'll understand exactly what I mean when I say this." Clint had a serious look on his face. "In a fight, it's your gut instinct or nothing, right?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "Of course. You don't have time to think you just have to act."</p>
<p>"Exactly." Clint snapped his fingers. "My gut instinct told me that bringing you into our circle would be a <em>really</em> good thing. Not just for you either. For us too. Don't really know why yet, but I trust that my gut knows what's up." He walked around the counter to stand in front of me. "Did I tell you how I met Natasha?"</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>"SHIELD sent me on a mission and my mission was to <em>kill</em> her." He said simply and my eyes widened in surprise. "My gut made a different call. 10 years later and I still don't regret it."</p>
<p>Clint was right in the sense that I understood what he meant. I put a lot of trust in my gut. It had saved my life a hundred times over. Right now, my brain was freaking out and my skin was crawling at being in a place I didn't recognize, but my gut felt fine. There were no alarm bells going off in that sense. My nervous brain wanted to ignore the lack of reaction from my gut, but maybe he was right. I needed to shut my dumb ass brain up and let my gut make the decision.</p>
<p>"Fine." I said and his grin grew. "But only because the Black Widow said she'd teach me how to kill a man."</p>
<p>"Hey, I'll take it!" Clint clapped his hands. "Also, I asked her to take you shopping."</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?" I shook my head. It would be nice to own some real clothes and the thought of shopping to relax rather than shopping because my shirts were too stained with blood was great. Again though, I had <em>no</em>money and the thought of shopping with the Black Widow was a little terrifying. She might just be the most intimidating person I've ever met. "She's absolutely the <em>scariest</em> person I've ever met. Which is saying some shit. Also, I have no money? I'll just go shopping after my first paycheck."</p>
<p>"Tash is just a giant dork, you'll see." Clint waved off my concern and I blinked in shock. Did he just call Black Widow, a super assassin of the next level, a <em>giant dork</em>? Clint shook his head while I was still reeling, "Plus, what are you going to wear on your first day of work?"</p>
<p>My face went blank as I realized he was right again. The nicest thing I had was a pair of jeans, with tears at the knees, and a blue blouse that I didn't know how I got. It was a size too big for me and I <em>literally</em> had no idea where it had come from.</p>
<p>"How'd you know I didn't have any clothes?"</p>
<p>"Steve."</p>
<p>"I didn't realize Captain America was a little <em>snitch</em>."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Bruce Banner nodded his head calmly while Tony rambled a million miles an hour about what he had missed. He was a guest lecturer at NYU, Colombia, and Barnard University which kept him pretty busy the last few weeks. According to his manic friend, he had missed a lot.</p>
<p>"Let me get this straight." Bruce said slowly the moment Tony gave him the chance to talk. They were both standing in the upstairs, private '<em>Avengers'</em> lab that was tucked away in the open floor plan of the penthouse. The walls around him were made of glass and it allowed him to see into the den below and see the quinjet parked out on the landing strip. Clint and Natasha must be back already. Bruce cleared his throat, "While I was gone, you and Clint <em>kidnapped</em> a 26-year-old woman who you now have <em>trapped</em> in the Tower and <em>working</em> as your assistant."</p>
<p>"<em>Our</em> assistant." Tony grinned and motioned to himself, "I mean, <em>mostly</em> mine, but I'll have her keep up with your lectures for you."</p>
<p>Bruce nodded again, thankful that his patience was God-tier, "Can we circle back to the <em>kidnapping </em>part?"</p>
<p>"You misunderstood… the <em>Russians</em> kidnapped her. We <em>saved</em> her. Us and <em>Bucky Barnes</em>. He was there too. Absolutely <em>wild</em> times."</p>
<p>Bruce blinked. He had asked for clarification and all Tony had done was surprise him even more. He couldn't say he was shocked, it was a very Tony Stark thing to do, but it took him a moment to ground himself.</p>
<p>"<em>Bucky Barnes</em>? As in Steve's best friend and attempted <em>murderer</em>?"</p>
<p>"The very one."</p>
<p>"Is she <em>ok</em>?" Bruce asked. They hadn't asked him to look her over at all. He wasn't a medical doctor in any sense but that never stopped the team from roping him into first aid.</p>
<p>Tony waved off his concern, "Oh yeah, he actually saved her before we saved her. Aj and Bucky Barnes are—" He lifted his hand and crossed his fingers, "Thick as thieves."</p>
<p>"Alright." Bruce tried to swallow that information, but he figured he had bigger things to try and handle, "The Russians kidnapped her, which I won't even ask for more clarification on—"</p>
<p>"Good. It was uneventful."</p>
<p>"But then you and Clint <em>kidnapped</em> her <em>immediately</em> after." Bruce said firmly. It wasn't a question.</p>
<p>Tony groaned, "I knew you were gonna be like this. Is it kidnapping if I provide a luxury apartment, a job, and a whole new wardrobe?"</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>!" Bruce cried out. Tony rolled his eyes and Bruce continued. "Kidnapping is <em>kidnapping</em>."</p>
<p>"She agreed to it!"</p>
<p>"Did you twist her arm?"</p>
<p>There was a moment where Tony thought to himself while tapping the screwdriver he held against the lab top table. He narrowed his eyes, "Ok, maybe—"</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus Christ, Tony</em>."</p>
<p>"Hey, this is <em>Clint's</em> fault too!" Tony argued.</p>
<p>The lab doors opened and the phrase '<em>speak of the devil'</em> rang through Bruce's mind. Clint grinned casually, "What's my fault?"</p>
<p>"Bruce says we kidnapped Aj."</p>
<p>Clint shook his head and walked over to them, "No, no, no. Banner, I <em>adopted</em> her."</p>
<p>Bruce buried his face into his hands. He leaves for three weeks and this is what happens. The Avengers were going to get arrested for kidnapping and holding a hostage. He groaned, "Did Nat or Steve not <em>veto</em> this idea? I left them in charge."</p>
<p>Tony held a hand up, "Alright, I don't like that you're inferring that you left the itsy, bitsy spider and Spangles to <em>baby-sit</em> us."</p>
<p>"I wasn't inferring. I said it." Bruce countered.</p>
<p>Clint held his hands up again, "Ok, it sounds sketchy and I know that, but she's got a <em>shitty</em> story, man. Kid's had her back up against the wall for years and had this <em>wanna-be</em> Al Capone making her life a living <em>hell</em>. I don't wanna go into it too much because it's her story to talk about, but the guy chained her to a radiator and left her there for <em>days</em> once." Bruce's face softened at the words. Shit. He knew the world was filled with terrible people, as an Avenger he saw it all too often now but hearing an individual story like this still hurt. Nobody deserved that. Clint continued, "Also, Tash and Steve approve. <em>Sort of.</em> I just got done talking to her again and she's on board. Aj's gonna give this place an actual shot."</p>
<p>Tony glanced at him, "What do you mean she <em>just</em> got on board. I thought she was on board <em>two days </em>ago?"</p>
<p>"Nah, I was 90% sure she was gonna make a run for it and I was right." Clint crossed his arms, "She wouldn't even touch the furniture in her place. Talked it out though and she gets it. She's gonna give it the ol' <em>one-two effort</em>."</p>
<p>Tony clapped Bruce on the shoulder, "You're really gonna like her. Has a good head on her shoulders. Smart, like '<em>get into Colombia's Medical program'</em> smart, but a <em>terrible</em> decision maker since she decided to, you know, <em>not</em> go."</p>
<p>Bruce's eyes widened. That was a huge deal, and for her to just blow it off sounded insane to him. She must have had her reasons. Clint pulled Tony's attention away from the conversation at hand to ask for a new arrow design and Bruce turned back to his own work. He hoped she at least had <em>some</em> common sense. God knew they needed a little more of it around here.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>One time, Boss made me fight an entire marathon series and then in the last fight he put in these two giant fighters I hadn't seen before. That was nine full fights and then a two vs one scenario. It had still been early in my career with him and I remember being <em>terrified</em>. Adrenaline and a cold dread had dumped into my system. Weirdly, it was probably the most scared I had been there while facing off another woman.</p>
<p>Shopping with the Black Widow was a <em>thousand</em> times worse.</p>
<p>She was <em>stupid</em> gorgeous. The kind of woman that made people do a double take when they saw her. I knew this because I saw them do it first-hand. Her bright red hair was slightly curled making her short haircut dramatic and hot. Unlike my short haircut that probably made me look like someone had attacked me with a fucking lawnmower. Natasha had on tight black jeans, a white long-sleeved sheer blouse that cut down into a V-neck, and a dark purple stylish trench coat. Compare that to me who had on torn skinny jeans, a white t-shirt that didn't have blood stains on the front, and my leather jacket. If you put the two of us side by side, it kind of looked like one of those warnings. Like a '<em>If you do drugs this could happen to you'</em> with Natasha being the before and me being the after.</p>
<p>In fact, I was pretty sure when people glanced our way they thought I was just trying to pick pocket her or some shit. It didn't help that she had taken me to the Upper East Side where the fancy shops were. I had never stepped foot in this area with the fear that store owners would beat me away with a broom.</p>
<p>"This one." Natasha said before leading me into a Versace store.</p>
<p>"Listen, I think the most expensive thing I bought on my own is from <em>Wal-Mart</em>." I said while Natasha shooed away a store clerk who came over to help. "And I <em>really</em> wish that was an exaggeration, but it's not."</p>
<p>Natasha pulled a light blue button up shirt off the rack and held it up in front of me, "You're a size 4, aren't you? We'll get most of this tailored, but I need a base to start on."</p>
<p><em>Tailored</em>? That was definitely a rich person thing.</p>
<p>"I feel really weird buying a whole new wardrobe with money I didn't earn." I said again in hopes that she would turn around and take us back to the tower in the bright red corvette she had driven us here in.</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "When Tony Stark hands you his card and tells you to go crazy he means it literally. If you don't come back with what <em>he</em> thinks is enough he'll just go online and buy things <em>for</em> you."</p>
<p>"That's insane." I blinked and forced her to stop digging through the racks to look at me. "You <em>realize </em>how <em>insane</em> that is, right?"</p>
<p>"That's just Tony. He's got the money to spare and he likes to spend it on anyone who needs it. Especially the people he thinks he's responsible for."</p>
<p>I laughed, "He is <em>not</em> responsible for me." I rubbed the back of my neck. "I told Clint I'd give this '<em>home' </em>thing a chance, but <em>shit</em> can y'all <em>ease</em> me into this? I went from being a sewer rat to having <em>Iron Man</em> <em>throwing </em>cash at me, <em>Captain America</em> as my <em>self-appointed</em> bodyguard, and Hawkeye just tried to <em>adopt me</em> with papers from an <em>animal shelter</em>." I laughed, a little hysterically I'll admit, "Is the Hulk gonna become my primary physician?"</p>
<p>Natasha smirked and it was terrifying, "Probably. He isn't that kind of doctor, as he constantly reminds us, but he still looks us over after missions." She turned and went back to looking through the rack. "Do you have a color you prefer? Blues and greens would look best on you and with your skin tone gold jewelry would be best. Keep that in mind as we look around."</p>
<p>And because she was Black <em>fucking</em> Widow, I did.</p>
<p>We went around the store grabbing things and anytime she told me to try something on I hurried to the room to do exactly that. After thirty minutes, she had picked out a wide selection of business looking clothes and a few dresses. The part of me that loved dressing up was absolutely <em>preening</em> right now, but I shoved that version of Aj down again. Natasha told me to turn around if I didn't want to see the total and I listened. Seeing how much Tony had just spent on me would probably just make me nauseous.</p>
<p>"Send them to the Tower." Natasha said after pocketing the black credit card again. She turned to walk out, and I jogged after her.</p>
<p>That was convenient. Having all our bags of clothes just sent to the Tower like that. Rich people just had <em>everything</em>, didn't they? No wonder the rich wanted to stay rich. If they ever lost that title they'd probably just up and die.</p>
<p>"Well that was a lot of fun!" I clapped my hands once with a tight smile.</p>
<p>Natasha smirked at me again then looped her arm through mine. I tried not to stiffen, but it was really hard not to. She nodded her head forward, "We're not done yet."</p>
<p>My eyes widened in surprise as she pulled me into another clothing store where we did exactly the same thing. How much clothes did one person need? I survived the past five years with almost nothing and I was ok. I looked like a walking <em>trash fire</em>, but I survived. This time around though Natasha let me pick out casual things to wear while she focused more on the dressy stuff and I hated to admit it, but I did like that.</p>
<p>That was half the reason why I felt so guilty.</p>
<p>I <em>loved</em> this.</p>
<p>It was so nice to find something I liked and grab it with no worry. The idea of having a full closet was a luxury I never thought I'd have again. A part of me wanted to just break down and cry. I would've if I hadn't been so terrified of Natasha, I think.</p>
<p>I dragged my hand against the shoulder of a light gray pea coat hanging from the rack. None of these items had a price tag on it. I guess if you were in a store like this the price wasn't really an issue. Guilt gnawed at me again.</p>
<p>"Grab it." Natasha came up behind me and I jumped in surprise, "You need a good winter coat and that will look good on top of a work outfit when you're running errands."</p>
<p>If anyone else had told me that I'd turn them down with a scoff, but instead I just grabbed the coat and followed her to the front where the cashier was. Maybe that was Clint's plan all along. If him or Tony tried to take me shopping, I'd laugh my ass off and demand they take me to Wal-Mart or Target. I couldn't exactly do that with Natasha.</p>
<p>She paid for the items again, requested they be sent to the Tower, and onto the next store we went. This time it was a shoe store. She said I needed heels and boots. Honestly, I couldn't remember the last time I wore high heels. I hoped I remembered how to walk in them.</p>
<p>I glanced over at Natasha who was looking over the selection. The selection of shoes that I couldn't really tell much of a difference between. Steeling myself, I spoke up, "You're without a doubt the <em>scariest </em>person I've ever met in my <em>entire</em> life." She glanced over her shoulder at me and I held my hands up. "Really it's a compliment. Not too many people intimidate me and the fact that you give off this raw energy of '<em>I can and will fuck you up'</em> while <em>also</em> looking like a super model is <em>amazing</em>. Nothing but respect."</p>
<p>Natasha's lips quirked up into a smile and she turned to look at me fully, "But?"</p>
<p>"<em>But</em>?"</p>
<p>"You're going somewhere with this. Took you long enough to build up the courage."</p>
<p>At her mocking tone, my eyebrows furrowed together. This wasn't me. Terrifying or not, I was not the kind to cower. I squared my shoulders, "You're <em>not</em> here just to shop with me. I get Clint's gut instinct thing and I also <em>kind of</em> get Tony's <em>weird</em> obsession, but not you. This isn't about welcoming me into the family." As I said the words, it finally dawned on me. They were a family. <em>Her</em> family. My eyebrows raised in surprise, "You're sizing me up."</p>
<p>"Yes, I am." She didn't deny it at all. Natasha was smiling, but it was a dangerous smile. She picked up a heel off a display to look at it while she spoke, "They're <em>idiots</em>, but they're <em>my</em> idiots. The only ones I really have left. You don't necessarily seem like a threat to any of them, but I wouldn't have survived this long without being suspicious."</p>
<p>"I get it." I shrugged. "I'm new and I'm unknown."</p>
<p>"Exactly." Natasha motioned for a woman to box up the bright red heels she was holding before moving onto a boot. "So, here's my little spiel. I respect Clint's instinct. He's my partner, my closest confidant, and if he says you need our help then I trust him." She set down the boot and looked straight in the eyes. "If you take <em>advantage</em> of his kindness, of <em>any</em> of them, you will <em>not</em> live to regret it. Do you understand?"</p>
<p>I nodded and the respect I had for her only grew. With a smirk, I picked up another nude heel, one where the heel of it was razor thin, "Can you teach me how to fight while in heels? That'd seem like a useful skill to have."</p>
<p>Natasha chuckled and the tension between us simmered. It didn't go away, but it lessened significantly. "Fighting with heels is lesson two. Killing a man with your thighs alone is lesson one."</p>
<p>"I <em>love</em> the priority of that." I snapped and shot her a '<em>finger gun'</em>, "Are we nearly done?"</p>
<p>"We're done shopping." Natasha waved toward a few more shoes and the woman worked to get them all packaged. "We have one more errand to run."</p>
<p>She smiled at the woman and asked for it to be sent to the Tower. Looks like I was going to be spending the entire afternoon and evening putting all this away. Natasha pulled me out of the store, and I gave her a curious look. Before I could ask the question that sat on my lips she spoke.</p>
<p>"It's 1:30. Time for your hair appointment."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve had seen a lot of weird and worrying things in his life. He was soldier turned super. He fought a man with an entirely red skull. He crashed a plane into the ice. He woke up in a completely different time frame. He fought side by side with a mythical god against said mythical god's brother. He had to watch one of the most important people in his life, if not <em>the</em> most important, try to stab him in the neck with a knife.</p>
<p>The point was, Steve had seen some shit.</p>
<p>It was odd to him though that the idea of Aj going shopping with Natasha made it onto the weird and worried list. When he voiced this concern to Clint, the archer simply waved him off while shoving pizza into his mouth and said, "<em>She probably won't kill Aj</em>." It didn't exactly calm his concerns. Natasha was a good friend and he trusted her with his life, but he also knew how paranoid she could be at new things. Aj was a very new, very questionable part of their lives now. He had no doubt the red head was interrogating the young woman between buying shirts and shoes.</p>
<p>It was his <em>job</em> to worry though. Bucky had been clear headed with Aj. A little lost and depressed, but from what he heard he was himself. The Winter Soldier wouldn't have saved Aj. He wouldn't have made her laugh in a prison or guard her with his life. Bucky very much would though. Steve was even more determined to find his best friend. The trail in Moscow had gone cold, but he wasn't going to relent now. While he waited for the next clue to pop up, he would take care of Aj. Bucky had asked him to. For whatever reason, Bucky had connected with her and if she was important to him then she was important to Steve.</p>
<p>Steve continued to sketch on the notebook resting on his leg while he lounged on one of the den's couches. He could see Tony and Bruce across and above him working in the lab, and he could hear Clint tripping around the kitchen complaining about the type of coffee Tony had stocked up on. The elevator dinged to his left and he sat up slightly in his seat trying not to look to on edge. As the doors opened the sound of laughter spilled out of them.</p>
<p>"—the python was <em>at least</em> 7 feet long and those <em>dumbasses</em> thought they were just gonna <em>pick it up</em> and <em>walk out</em> of my apartment." Aj snickered while Natasha chuckled beside her. "Boss' henchman had <em>one</em> thing in common among them all and it was that they were all as dumb as a bag of hammers."</p>
<p>Natasha was smiling, and he wasn't nearly as good at reading it as Clint, but it seemed sincere rather than just an act. Aj had on a casual outfit, compared to the red head, with her hands shoved into her leather jacket pockets as she smirked. Her brown dark brown hair had been about shoulder length and choppy in its cut. Now though, it was cut a little further, hovering over her shoulders in loose waves, and she had bangs that came down to her eyebrows. It was a good look on her. The cut was balanced and framed her features well.</p>
<p>"Have fun?" Clint asked with a mouthful of food as he wandered out of the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Nat made a guy who wolf whistled at her piss his pants." Aj grinned with a nod, "So, yes. We had a lot of fun."</p>
<p>"<em>And</em> we got Aj an entire new wardrobe." Natasha smirked at the woman who was a few inches shorter than her, "Maybe now she won't dress like a hobo."</p>
<p>Aj walked over to the den while Natasha moved toward Clint, "Ha ha, Black Widow's a comedian."</p>
<p>"A <em>very</em> cute hobo." Natasha comforted her before looking to Clint. She set her hand briefly on his chest as she passed him into the kitchen and Clint followed after her.</p>
<p>Aj dropped down onto the couch diagonal to him, "Howdy, Steve. What'cha doing?"</p>
<p>"Nothing." Steve closed up the notebook and held it up slightly, "It's a notebook of things I'm supposed to catch up on."</p>
<p>Her warm blue eyes widened, "Oh yeah? Star Wars?"</p>
<p>"It's there."</p>
<p>"Jurassic Parks."</p>
<p>"Watched them."</p>
<p>Aj nodded, "The second one is shit, ain't it?" Steve chuckled and she went on, "Er, Lord of the Rings? Wasn't really my thing, but you gotta know the references."</p>
<p>"Working through it."</p>
<p>Aj hummed, her lips twisting in thought, "The Walking Dead? It's newer than the others, but it's <em>good</em>."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head and opened the notebook to write it down, "Thanks for the tip."</p>
<p>"Of course. Daryl Dixon's one of the <em>only</em> rednecks to give us a good name." Aj winked at him and he chuckled and closed the small notebook again. Steve glanced over at her to see she seemed a little twitchy. Aj didn't lounge in her seat. She was sitting straight up with her hands drumming on her thighs.</p>
<p>Steve nodded to her, "How's the hand?"</p>
<p>Aj held up the splinted hand, "It's honestly fine. I would've taken it off already, but Natasha says if I do Clint will have a stroke."</p>
<p>"She's not wrong. It's important to keep it on. You want your hand to heal right."</p>
<p>"Not my first cracked knuckle, but thanks Stevie." She smirked with a chuckle.</p>
<p>Steve motioned to her with the notebook in his hand, "I like your hair. It looks real good on you, <em>d</em>—<em>darling</em>."</p>
<p>Her face tinted pink and he was glad she was distracted by her own embarrassment to not notice his slip up. Steve had been so close to calling her '<em>doll'</em>. It was a habit he picked up from Bucky when they were kids and he never shook it.</p>
<p>"Er, thanks." Aj replied awkwardly and ran her left hand through it. "Natasha said I couldn't wear the nice clothes she picked out with a shitty haircut."</p>
<p>Steve barked out a laugh, "Your hair wasn't that bad before."</p>
<p>"You're a <em>real</em> sweet talker, ain't you?" Aj commented.</p>
<p>Steve hadn't noticed before, but she had a spray of barely noticeable freckles across the bridge of her nose. The fading bruises must have distracted him from them. Her right eye still had a dark ring of purple, but her left looked back to normal. The gash on her right cheekbone was mostly healed up, but it looked like it might scar.</p>
<p>"Hey, you haven't met Bruce yet, have you?" Steve pushed himself up. Aj looked surprised and quickly stood up. She followed his lead as he walked across the den toward the open staircase. The lab was on the second level of the room and it was next door to their small infirmary. Steve pulled the door open and motioned for her to step in.</p>
<p>Aj walked past him without hesitation and he watched as Tony and Bruce both glanced over at her. Tony let out a loud wolf whistle and Steve had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at his antics.</p>
<p>"<em>Look</em> at <em>you</em>, sunshine." Tony grinned. "<em>Absolutely </em>gorgeous. I'm keeping your caller ID as the hospital pic though."</p>
<p>"Now I wish I had flipped you off instead of throwing a peace sign." Aj replied and his grin grew. She turned to Bruce and took a step toward him. "Hi, I'm Aj. I'd offer to shake your hand, but…" She lifted her splint. "You're Dr. Banner?"</p>
<p>"I am." Bruce gave her a warm smile. "You can just call me Bruce though. I'm sorry you've had to deal with Tony and Clint these past few days."</p>
<p>"<em>I'm</em> sorry you've had to deal with them for <em>this</em> long."</p>
<p>Tony paused what he was doing to point at her, "Rude."</p>
<p>Bruce chuckled, "You get used to it very quickly."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I have a feeling working for Tony's gonna be a '<em>learn quick or die'</em> situation."</p>
<p>"Oh, <em>very</em> much so."</p>
<p>Tony scoffed again, "Is it pick on Tony day or something?"</p>
<p>Aj shrugged, "I don't really need a specific day for that. <em>Guys</em>?" She glanced at Bruce and him who shook their heads to support the young woman. "See."</p>
<p>"Absolute traitors, the lot of you." Tony replied. "Did you get some clothes?"</p>
<p>Steve crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway to watch her interact with the scientists. Clint had said she didn't seem to handle new surroundings well, but she looked perfectly at ease here chatting happily with Bruce and snarking at Tony when he cut in. It didn't seem to faze her that they were the Avengers. Bruce was just a friendly face to get to know and Tony was just another guy looking for a battle of wits. Even her day with Natasha had ended differently than he thought it would. He hadn't <em>actually</em> thought she would murder Aj, but he also hadn't expected them to come up to the penthouse laughing.</p>
<p>Maybe <em>that's</em> what pulled Bucky in.</p>
<p>He watched as Aj laughed alongside Bruce at Tony's expense. Despite the trauma, despite the worry she might have, her personality was inviting when she wanted it to be. It made you want to talk to her more. Make her laugh. Bucky had been in a cold, concrete Russian bunker with a dying stranger, but that dying stranger still managed to break that sad shell and pull him in. Steve understood it a little better now. Aj was refreshing. He had no doubt she'd be a good addition around the Tower, and until they found Bucky, Steve would make sure she stayed safe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. First Day Jitters</h2></a>
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  <em>"The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new." –Socrates</em>
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<p>The Stark Pad I was given was honestly a work of art. Sleek, thin, lightweight. How was so much processing power installed on something so small? It literally fit in the palm of both my hands. Tony had even given me a fancy technology pencil to write on the screen with too. Honestly, I kind of felt like Stark had pulled me out of the dark ages and into the 21st century. I was just a lowly cavewoman trying to figure out how the scheduling app worked on this thing.</p>
<p>It was Sunday morning, which meant the big job started tomorrow, and in my usual fashion I put everything off to the last minute. So now I was sitting on the expensive white couch playing with the Stark Pad while the TV played some random show in the background. I just wanted the noise.</p>
<p>"<em>Ms. Bradshaw</em>."</p>
<p>"Fuck." I blurted and nearly dropped the hella expansive pad onto the hella hard wood floor. That would've been grand. Crack the new thing on the first day you used it. I glanced around frantically, but nobody else was on my floor. "Hello?"</p>
<p>"<em>Ms. Bradshaw, sir requests you on his floor at this moment.</em>"</p>
<p>The smooth voice spoke from above me and I blinked, "Uh, <em>God</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>Not exactly. I am JARVIS</em>."</p>
<p>"Oh, wait, he told me about this." I mumbled to myself. Tony had talked about it, but this was the first time the fancy AI was speaking directly to me. I didn't think it could talk on my floor, "You have access to my floor?"</p>
<p>"<em>I have access to the entire Tower</em>."</p>
<p>"Cool cool cool." I nodded then laid down onto the couch to stare at the ceiling, "So, JARVIS right?"</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>."</p>
<p>"You ever get tired of working for Tony Stark?"</p>
<p>"<em>I was designed to help Mr. Stark, and I can say that it is never uninteresting</em>." The AI was replying back to me like a real person. It kind of felt like I was having a conversation with any other weirdo Avenger in this Tower. "<em>Again, Mr. Stark is requesting</em>—"</p>
<p>I waved my hand, "It's my day off. He said I start Monday."</p>
<p>Yesterday, I had made the mistake of actually listening to his request and after getting dressed and getting to his floor Tony just asked me where his favorite mug was. As if me, the new girl, would have any idea. This happened three more times with three random things until I turned my phone off and stopped answering his call.</p>
<p>"Tell me more about yourself JARVIS." I settled in for a long conversation.</p>
<p>JARVIS and I talked for about twenty minutes when my elevator doors opened with a '<em>ding'</em>. I sat up slightly to see Tony breeze in like he <em>owned</em> the—<em>well, wait</em>. He motioned to me with a wave and nodded his head toward the elevator, "I've been calling you. J, haven't I been calling her?"</p>
<p>"<em>Yes, sir, but she states today is her day off</em>."</p>
<p>I nodded and pointed to the ceiling for emphasis. Tony smirked at me and shook his head, "That's all well and good, but Pepper is upstairs, and she wants to meet you, sunshine."</p>
<p>It took a moment for his words to actually make sense in my brain. Pepper wanted to meet me. <em>Pepper Potts</em>. Pepper as in his girlfriend, according to the last tabloid I read, and Pepper as in the <em>CEO</em> of this entire company I was now working for.</p>
<p>"<em>Motherfucker</em>." I yelled and rolled off the couch in a panic. I skidded to a stop in front of the elevator and glanced down at myself. Right now, all I had on was some joggers and an old work out, sleeveless shirt with most of the sides cut out so my black sports bras could be seen. I didn't want to meet the CEO looking like this, but I also didn't want to make her wait any longer than I already had. "Shit, shit, shit, <em>Tony</em>."</p>
<p>Tony grinned at me. He had on an AC/DC shirt and jeans, "You look great! Your right eye is more yellow than purple now."</p>
<p>I groaned and jumped into the elevator. Tony followed slowly after me and as JARVIS pulled the elevator up to his floor, I tried my best to calm my wild hair in the reflection of the walls. Tony chuckled and I ignored him entirely. When the doors opened I sucked in a sharp, nervous breath and then padded out onto his floor with my bare feet.</p>
<p>Pepper Potts was a tall, thin, beautiful woman and everything about her screamed professional. She had on a white skirt with matching blazer and a gray shirt underneath it. Her heels only made her look even taller and her ginger hair hung around her face in clean, straight lines. She was on her phone but when Tony called out from behind me, she looked up.</p>
<p>"Hi! Ms. Potts. I am <em>so</em> sorry to keep you waiting. Mr. Stark called me so many times yesterday I just assumed this was another one of those situations. <em>Especially</em> since he didn't tell me the CEO was waiting on me." I leveled a glare at him with each final word.</p>
<p>Pepper laughed and her smile brightened her features, "Yes, well, that does sound about right. It's very nice to meet you Ms…?"</p>
<p>"Aj Bradshaw, ma'am." I stuck my hand out to shake hers but then remembered I still had that stupid brace on, "Er, I'll just", I pulled my hand back with a nervous grin, "It <em>really</em> is great to meet you though."</p>
<p>"Your resume was <em>outstanding</em> so I'm sure you'll have no issues, but I wanted to run through a few things—"</p>
<p>"My what?" I questioned.</p>
<p>Pepper gave me a curious look that slowly morphed into one of knowing. Her eyes shifted away from me, to Tony, in a glare. She crossed her arms, "You sent me a <em>fake</em> resume?"</p>
<p>"Her resume is not as extensive as the one I sent, maybe?" Tony replied with his hands up in surrender, "But she's got a <em>real</em> degree! With a minor!"</p>
<p>"In Business with foreign affairs as her minor?"</p>
<p>"Uh, Biology actually with a minor is Psychology." I answered sheepishly.</p>
<p>"As much as Tony <em>needs</em> a psychologist", Pepper sent him another glare before looking back to me sternly, "Do you have any experience as a personal assistant? Preferably with a company as large as ours?"</p>
<p>I opened my mouth then just sighed, "No."</p>
<p>"<em>Pep</em>—"</p>
<p>"Look, I'm sure you're a <em>very</em> sweet girl and this is <em>not</em> your fault." Pepper glared again at the man who was taking steps backward from us. "But I asked Tony to hire a PA with <em>experience</em>. He has a <em>lot</em> on his plate and he's basically a <em>toddler</em> which means his PA is going to be picking up a lot of his slack."</p>
<p>"Hey that's—"</p>
<p>Pepper pointed at him, "You do <em>not</em> want to talk right now."</p>
<p>"Shutting up."</p>
<p>I had only been in the Tower for three days and already my job was slipping away from me. I had a feeling it would, but I expected it to be because I did something stupid. Not like this. I took a step forward, interrupting the silent fight the couple were having, and pleaded, "Ms. Potts, please." She looked back to me and I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I know I don't have a lot or—<em>any</em> experience, but I'm <em>clever</em>? And—and I pick up on things <em>real</em> quick. I was looking through his schedule for the week before I got distracted by JARVIS and To—<em>Mr. Stark</em>, and I <em>know</em> I can do this. If you just give me a chance, a two-week audition, then I can prove to you that I am <em>more</em> than capable of doing this job and doing it well." I rubbed my elbow with my left hand nervously and offered her a small smile, "Plus, I'm not intimidated by Mr. Stark in the slightest so there's no learning period where I have to get used to him being him."</p>
<p>"Ok, I think you're a little intimid—"</p>
<p>"<em>Shush</em>." I interrupted him without looking away from Pepper. "All I'm asking for is a chance."</p>
<p>Pepper mulled this over for a moment. I knew my argument wasn't airtight, but I was banking a lot of hope on her liking the fact that her boyfriend didn't spook me at all. Luckily for me, I had been right. Pepper let out a sigh, "Alright. A two-week window is all you get. I'm not doing this to be mean and I know you've been through a lot. I just have to look out for this company's best interests."</p>
<p>"I completely understand. Thank you so much, Ms. Potts." I beamed at her. "I will not let you down, I promise."</p>
<p>"There are some things I wanted to walk you through. Do you have time or your Stark Pad?"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I don't have my Stark Pad on me, but I do have the time. Please go ahead and tell me. I'll remember it."</p>
<p>Pepper looked hesitant but began to walk me through the process anyways. She told me that I needed to limit Tony's schedule to no more than four meetings in a day. More than four and he would absolutely start skipping. He didn't like to be handed things and there was no point in me ever hiring a driver because Tony would just dismiss them then drive himself. There was information on the Stark Pad about his information. Things like social security number, passwords, and pin numbers that I needed to keep with me in case he needed the information because he definitely wouldn't remember them on his own. I was in charge of his email. He would look through it sometimes if he was waiting for something specifically, but it was up to me to reply to the ones that needed replying to and making sure he actually got the information.</p>
<p>"There's also a few charity galas and parties I need you to plan for, but I'll talk more about that as we get closer to the first one. It'll be the week before Thanksgiving, so we still have about a month." Pepper finished with a soft smile, "Any questions?"</p>
<p>"No, ma'am."</p>
<p>"Good. I have a flight to catch." Pepper set a hand on my shoulder and I tried not to tense up out of habit, "I know this conversation didn't start great, but I promise I'm only one phone call away if you have a question. Don't be afraid to call me."</p>
<p>"Thank you so much again." I replied and she turned to leave. Tony gave me a thumbs up behind her back before jogging after her. My entire body relaxed in relief. I honestly should've known something like this was going to happen. It sounded too good to be true. Now I just had to learn how to be a kickass PA in less than 24 hours. No biggie.</p>
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<p>The issue with owning so much clothes is never knowing what to pick. I stood in front of my, very full, closet for over twenty minutes now trying to figure out what to wear for my first day of work. I've literally never had this problem before. More than just indecision, I wanted to make sure I looked <em>good</em> today. Not just good, I wanted to look <em>professional</em>.</p>
<p>I was up nearly all of last night learning everything I thought I was going to need to know for this week and now I only had 15 more minutes to get ready or I would be late. And if I was late that meant Tony was late. Quickly, I grabbed a light blue button up shirt, one Natasha had told me would go good with the skirts we bought, and I paired it with a light gray skirt. The clothes felt restricting. If I needed to jump up and fight it would be a problem, but I guess the whole point of this job was I wouldn't need to do that anymore.</p>
<p>I slipped on a pair of black heels and turned to head to the bathroom only to nearly break my ankle as my foot inverted. A curse slipped my lips as I barely caught myself on the doorframe. Ok, this wasn't going to work. I kicked the death traps off and grabbed a pair of light brown ankle boots that also had a heel, but this heel had a wider base so my chances of dying via falling were significantly less. I hurried out of the closet and was pleasantly surprised when I jogged across the room without falling.</p>
<p>Little victories.</p>
<p>After checking my hair and make-up one last time in the mirror, I grabbed my purse, one large enough to hold the Stark Pad plus more and walked to the elevator. Every step clicked and clacked on the wood floors.</p>
<p>"JARVIS?" I called out. "Is Natasha on her floor?"</p>
<p>"<em>Ms. Romanof and Mr. Barton have already left for the day. Would you like me to call her?"</em></p>
<p>"No, no, no." I bit down on my lip. I kind of wanted her to give me an ok for what I chose to wear. "Is Steve on his floor?"</p>
<p>"<em>He is, Ms. Bradshaw</em>."</p>
<p>I slid into the elevator and JARVIS took me one floor up. This was the first time I was in his apartment. The layout looked a lot like mine, but the color scheme, furniture, and décor were different. Steve's apartment looked warmer than mine. Maybe it was just the colors.</p>
<p>"Uh, Steve?" I called out and awkwardly knocked on the elevator frame. It felt weird to just barge in. Maybe I should've asked before having JARVIS take me up to his floor. Movement to my right made me glance over just in time to see Steve step out of his bedroom, if the floorplan really was the same, freshly showered while pulling a shirt on.</p>
<p>He spotted me, I spotted him, and then we just stood there staring for an odd minute. I stared at him wondering if his abs were actually chiseled out of marble because <em>holy hell</em>. The 40's made men different, man. Steve stared back at me with slightly widened eyes probably wondering why my crazy ass was on his floor without permission.</p>
<p>"I made this weird. That's my bad." I blurted then motioned to myself, "I just needed someone to tell me how this looks? Be <em>brutally</em> honest. Do I look like a woman who knows what she's doing?"</p>
<p>It was the first time in my life I asked that question unsarcastically.</p>
<p>"Uh, <em>wow</em>." Steve nodded once.</p>
<p>I grimaced, "Is that a <em>'wow, you actually look like a female woman and not a walking trash fire'</em> or a '<em>wow, how could you choose those shoes with that skirt you dumbass'</em>?"</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "Wow, you look fantastic. <em>Very</em> professional."</p>
<p>"So, if I wore this in the 40's they would've considered me professional and not like burned me at the stake or something?" I pressed.</p>
<p>"Wrong era." He pointed at me and walked closer, "But no, I don't think anybody would try to burn you at the stake. Are you nervous?"</p>
<p>I groaned, "Is it that obvious?"</p>
<p>"You just seem a little jittery." Steve shrugged. "No really bad tells. People would think maybe you had a little too much coffee."</p>
<p>"I am literally more nervous for this than I am for a marathon fight." I shook my head, "How sad is that? I'd be more prepared to get punched in the face than go to a board meeting."</p>
<p>Steve laughed, "It's an adjustment. You're just not used to it. By the end of this week, hell, by the end of this <em>day</em>, I bet you'll feel like you know exactly what you're doing."</p>
<p>"I like that. Say more nice words in your Captain America voice."</p>
<p>"You're going to do <em>fine</em>. Stop worrying." Steve smiled. He shrugged, "And then after you kick ass as a PA, I'll order us some more to-go food to celebrate. Deal?"</p>
<p>Last night when I had been so absorbed in learning how to be a PA, Steve had shown up on my floor with a pizza to share. Apparently, JARVIS had snitched on me skipping a meal and he came to correct that. He was good company to have. I knew he was just making sure some bad guy or bird didn't crash through my window and kill me, for Bucky's sake, but the company was more than welcome. Being alone in that huge apartment still felt weird.</p>
<p>"Can we get Chinese?"</p>
<p>"You got it, boss." Steve gave me a thumbs up. I took in a steadying breath and walked back into the elevator. Steve looked momentarily nervous, "Listen, you got this, but if Tony starts acting up just—"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Oh no, I have Tony Stark handled. I got a secret weapon up my sleeve today."</p>
<p>Steve looked curious, "And that is?"</p>
<p>"The truth." I winked at him before the elevator doors shut. Show time.</p>
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<p>The Iron Legion was his newest baby and like any baby it was fussy and needed his constant attention. The idea was to have droids for the Avengers to use anytime they were duking it out in a well populated area. Tony had seen the wreckage of what they left behind, and he wasn't going to sit back and let it continue on. Especially if he had an answer for it. The Iron Legion could protect and divert civilians away from the battle while the Avengers focused on the danger.</p>
<p>Now he just had to get it finished. The building part was a breeze, though time consuming, it was the programming he was trying to weed through now. Tony took another long chug of the cold coffee from his mug and moved onto the next line of numbers.</p>
<p>'<em>Hell's Bells'</em> was mid chorus when the music shut off entirely. Tony glanced upward out of habit before turning around. At the lab's door stood Aj. She was dressed to the nines in business professional clothes and all done up. The young woman was so done up that he never would've guessed she was kicking some Russian chick's ass a week or so ago in Moscow.</p>
<p>"Morning, Mr. Stark." She chirped. It was funny. Seeing her standing in the doorway of his lab expectantly reminded him of years ago when Pepper would kick down his lab door, shut off his music, and drag him out by his ear. Ah, the good old days. "JARVIS told me I could find you here."</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's funny how my own creation betrays me like that. Is this what Frankenstein felt like?"</p>
<p>"<em>Hardly, sir</em>."</p>
<p>Tony turned back to his work, "It's only 7:45. I didn't expect you here until like 8:15."</p>
<p>"Well your first meeting this morning is at 8:30." Aj replied coming to stand right next to him. From this distance he would see the yellowish tone of a fading bruise around her right eye. The gash below it had healed up but left a small scar.</p>
<p>He hummed, "I don't like meetings before 9."</p>
<p>"I will keep that in mind as I start to plan out your meetings." She countered, "But today you're going to a meeting at 8:30 with a start up from Tribeca."</p>
<p>"You're still here pretty early." He narrowed his eyes at her, and her smirk only grew, "I got time to kill."</p>
<p>Aj shook her head, "You say that, but I know that '<em>time to kill'</em> will turn into '<em>oh, Aj, shit I'm sorry is it already 1 in the afternoon?</em>'."</p>
<p>"Huh." Tony motioned toward her with his hand, "It took Pep a few days before she figured that one out."</p>
<p>"That's because Pepper had faith in you and gave you her trust." Aj leaned on his lab countertop, "I have <em>no</em> faith in you, and I trust <em>no one</em>. It flattens the learning curve."</p>
<p>Tony chuckled. He had been right. This was going to be a lot of fun. Tony had already planned on making today as difficult as possible for her. There was no reason to pretend to be good in the beginning. Today was like the first day of school all over again. He had to see how far he could push the teacher. It was <em>science</em>.</p>
<p>"You know, I didn't expect you to jump headfirst into this." Tony picked up his coffee mug and took another big sip of his old, cold drink. "Also, I need another coffee ASAP."</p>
<p>"I will go downstairs to the lobby and get you your favorite brew from the coffee stand as soon as I know that you are getting ready for your meeting." Aj gave him a sweet but threatening smile. "I'll even add a pastry."</p>
<p>Tony smirked, ready to make her life increasingly difficult, when he noticed her nervously playing with the brace on her wrist. It didn't take him long to figure out that Aj was fidgety when she was uncomfortable. He set his mug down, "You good, sunshine?"</p>
<p>"Yeah." Aj nodded quickly and hid her hands behind her back. "I'm just…ready to, you know, work. This is kind of my first real job, uh, <em>ever</em>. Unless you count getting punched in the face."</p>
<p>"I don't."</p>
<p>Aj chuckled, "Exactly. So, I just wanna do…good. Pepper is giving me a shot and I don't wanna fuck it up. I've fucked up a <em>lot</em> of things in my life and I don't want this to be one of them."</p>
<p>Tony's smirk softened and he tried not to look overly concerned. Joking around with her over the weekend and seeing how level minded and clever she was he forgot that she was just getting a real start in her life. Those years in the ring had put her into a state of survival, and for the first time since then, maybe even longer than that, it seemed she could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Aj wanted to prove herself as more than just a good fighter. She wanted to prove that everything that piece of shit boss told her wasn't true.</p>
<p>And Tony was proud of that. He respected it. Sunshine was a fighter and despite all the shit thrown her way she was still pushing forward.</p>
<p>"Alright." Tony clapped his hands. "I'll go get ready. The coffee better come with a blueberry muffin though or I'm demoting you."</p>
<p>Aj grinned, her entire face lighting up, "<em>Really</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yupp." He moved to the door and held it open for her to go through first, "I'll meet you in front of my office at 8:15. You know where that is?"</p>
<p>Aj nodded, "I do! I'll see you there, Mr. Stark!"</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>." He corrected, but Aj didn't even acknowledge him. She disappeared into the elevator and he chuckled to himself.</p>
<p>"<em>You seem to be growing soft, sir</em>."</p>
<p>"There'll be plenty of time to put her through the ringer." Tony shook his head and started moving to the other side of the room so he could take the stairs into his apartment only a couple floors down. "She's in it for the long haul after all."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>I had a hunch that Tony Stark was a softie deep down. There was no way a guy who gives a stranger a new apartment, job, and entire wardrobe wasn't. Luckily, my hunch was spot on. All it took was a little emotional honesty on my part. That wasn't ever my strong suit though, so I was a little proud that I managed what I did.</p>
<p>"Yes. We'll definitely have to catch up some time." Tony was shaking the hand of the last speaker. The meeting had been about some sort of investment opportunity. Honestly, I hadn't understood much of it, but I still took notes on it all. It was like I was back in college. "Have a good one."</p>
<p>Tony glanced my way and his eyes widened as soon as the speaker turned away from him. Iron Man desperately motioned to the door and I grabbed my belongings before following him out. The moment we were in the hallway he groaned, "God, that was <em>awful</em>."</p>
<p>"You were on your phone the <em>entire</em> time."</p>
<p>"Just hearing his voice told me all I needed to know." Tony stuck his hands into his suit pockets. He really had done what he said he would. He had dressed in one of his nice suits, it was gray and that's really all I knew about it, and cleaned up from all the grease. Pepper had told me to make sure he showered, slept, and ate and so far I got one of those done.</p>
<p>"I took notes for you to probably ignore." I tilted my head towards him, and he gave me a smirk. "And you don't have another meeting until 2. Do you want me to get you some lunch or…?"</p>
<p>Tony nodded, "Lunch sounds good. Come on."</p>
<p>"Come…<em>on</em>?" I questioned and slowed down as we reached his office. Most of the work Tony did with the company, including meetings, happened on the 32nd floor. I pointed to his doors, but he shook his head and looped his arm through mine to pull me further down the hall to the elevators. "Where are we going?"</p>
<p>Tony shrugged, "Lunch. You just said so yourself."</p>
<p>"<em>Together</em>?"</p>
<p>"What?" Tony shook his head and hit one of the elevator buttons. "You don't wanna get lunch with me?"</p>
<p>I held my hands up, "It's not that! I just—you're like my <em>boss</em> now, I guess. Do bosses and employees eat together? That doesn't sound right."</p>
<p>"You said it yourself, this is your first real job." Tony shrugged. "So obviously you don't know how the boss/employee relationship works."</p>
<p>"True, but I know you're kind of a weirdo so everything you say I take with a grain of salt."</p>
<p>Tony chuckled, "Damn. You <em>are</em> a quick learner."</p>
<p>The elevator doors opened, and he stepped out with an amused grin. I followed after him curiously and realized the elevator had opened up into a garage. Honestly, I didn't even know we had a garage. It definitely wasn't a public one based on how expensive all the cars looked.</p>
<p>I let out a low whistle, "Wow. These are nice. Are all of these yours?"</p>
<p>"Mostly. All the Avengers except Thor have a car in here." Tony motioned to a sleek, silver sports car. He moved the driver's side and I slid into the passenger's side. The seats were black leather with white piping. I didn't know a lot about cars, but I knew this had to be top of the line. "Rogers has a bike in the corner. Do you have a car? I assume you don't since you didn't even own a pair of heels."</p>
<p>Tony revved the engine before peeling out of the garage. I narrowed my eyes at him, "Ok, owning or <em>not owning</em> a pair of heels is <em>not</em> a good measurement of <em>anything</em>."</p>
<p>"Do you own a car?"</p>
<p>"Well, no, but that <em>isn't</em> a correlation." I argued despite his laugh. I crossed my arms, "The only places I ever went I walked or took the subway. If I had a car it would've just been stolen from outside my apartment."</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "The hole in the wall you lived in should <em>not</em> be called an apartment. I've seen third world countries with better amenities."</p>
<p>"Hardy har har." I turned my head to look out the car window, "My Dad said when I turned 16 he'd get me my dream car, but then he abandoned me so that didn't happen."</p>
<p>Tony bobbed his head, "Dads are shit like that. What was your dream car?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I always wanted a Jeep Wrangler. I just thought they were <em>so</em> cool, you know? I could put the top down and just cruise. I'd have to go outside of the city to cruise anywhere around here, but in Alabama there were plenty of back roads to explore." I chuckled. That had been one of those tiny dreams I had ages upon ages ago when my life was still somewhat normal. After everything that had happened though I let it go and never really opened that door again.</p>
<p>"Hmm."</p>
<p>I blinked at Tony's hum and snapped my head to him, "That was <em>not</em> an invitation to buy me a car, Mr. Stark<em>. I swear to God</em>—"</p>
<p>Tony threw one hand up, "What is with this <em>Mr. Stark</em> shit all of a sudden?"</p>
<p>"I <em>work</em> for you. It's professional or something." I argued. "Don't worry, on weekends I'll call you Tony or asshole or whatever I need to in the moment."</p>
<p>"Change that into your <em>everyday</em> attitude. No more of this Mr. Stark thing." Tony said and I opened my mouth to argue, but he glanced at me, "Nope. I mean it. You call me Mr. Stark again and I will buy you a car. I'll buy you a new car for <em>every</em> single time you slip up."</p>
<p>I scoffed, "Have I mentioned that you're <em>absolutely</em> insane?"</p>
<p>"Once or twice, I think."</p>
<p>Tony drove the car into a curved sort of driveway all the way up to where a man stood next to a podium. He stopped, got out, and tossed the keys to the man by the podium. All the while, I scrambled to follow his lead. I brought my purse with me. It felt odd to leave it in the car where it could be stolen, but that was probably a poor person thought.</p>
<p>"Where are we?" I asked as I hurried to catch up to Tony.</p>
<p>"I like their sandwiches." Tony shrugged.</p>
<p>He led us into the fancy restaurant, and the moment the host saw Tony Stark he rushed to greet us. Tony, ever the charmer, returned the man's greeting and had him take us to his usual table. I just watched the interaction curiously. People acted so giddy around Tony. He was a celebrity, so I guess it made sense, but it was so strange to see it up close and personal like this.</p>
<p>The host sat us at a two-person table in a less crowded part of the restaurant beside a large window overlooking a garden that was built in the middle of the building. I sat down and took in a sharp breath.</p>
<p>"What?" Tony questioned.</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I'm just… still trying to get used to all this, I guess."</p>
<p>"Culture shock, huh?" Tony smirked.</p>
<p>"Something like that." I chuckled softly. My left hand moved to play with the strap on my brace as I glanced out the window. Even back when I was a kid, we didn't have a lot. We weren't hurting for money by any means, my family was probably the definition of middle class, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would take a peek into the 1%.</p>
<p>Tony suddenly stood up and I glanced back at him, "Come on."</p>
<p>"Uh, what?"</p>
<p>Tony stepped around the table and offered me his hand. I took it hesitantly and he pulled me out of my seat, "Let's go."</p>
<p>I readjusted my purse onto my shoulder and picked up my pace to keep up with him. He waved at the host as we passed him. The car attendant also looked panicked when we walked outside, but Tony waved him off and said we'd be back.</p>
<p>"Hey, Tony", I said, making sure I didn't use his last name, "What is going on?"</p>
<p>"You didn't like the restaurant." Tony shrugged. "Central Park's only a couple blocks from here, and I know a guy."</p>
<p>I stumbled over my feet at his words, but Tony didn't slow down from his casual pace. He thought I didn't like the restaurant? I really didn't have an opinion on it. I mean, I felt kind of uncomfortable there, but that was just because I was still adjusting to my new life. Honestly, I still wasn't sure I'd ever get used to it.</p>
<p>Rather than argue with him or try to explain my thought process, I just followed him down the street until we got to the park. I hadn't come here very often while living in the area. Despite living in New York for 8 years I really hadn't experienced anything more than my college campus and the ring. It was a little pathetic. Ok, a <em>lot</em> pathetic.</p>
<p>Tony led us toward a guy at a food stand who apparently knew Tony very well based on the way they greeted each other. He asked me if I had ever had a falafel before, I said no, and then Tony ordered for me. After getting two to-go boxes from the guy Tony led us over to a bench. I sat down next to him. He seemed unfazed by the stares he was getting.</p>
<p>"You're gonna like this." Tony motioned to the food before digging into his own meal.</p>
<p>I glanced around at the area around us. Normal families walking around, a guy a few benches down from us talking to the pigeons, and in the distance, I could see two random guys barking at each other in an argument over God knows what. This felt more my speed. I chuckled and started to eat. I still wasn't entirely sure what a falafel was, but Tony was right about me liking it.</p>
<p>"You're not what I expected." I said midway through my meal.</p>
<p>Tony hummed, "I'm even <em>more</em> charming than you thought?"</p>
<p>I chuckled, "I <em>knew</em> you were charming. I just assumed you were also kind of vapid. A superhero, sure, but I figured anyone with your kind of bank account had to be a <em>real</em> asshat."</p>
<p>"What makes you think I'm <em>not</em> an asshat?"</p>
<p>"An asshat wouldn't have noticed I felt weird about that restaurant and they definitely wouldn't have done something about it." I shrugged and kept my eyes on my food. "Thanks, I guess. I don't know if I said it before, but… I appreciate all this."</p>
<p>Tony hummed and at the sound I glanced over at him to see him grinning at me. I rolled my eyes and he just laughed. Who would've guessed that Tony Stark was a good human being? A little obnoxious and very forward with his affections, but everyone has their quirks I suppose.</p>
<p>"How's your hand?"</p>
<p>I lifted my right hand with a small smile, "I think it's been fine since Saturday, but I'm keeping it on for Clint's sake. Which reminds me, do I have access to the employee gym since I'm part of Stark Industries now?"</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "Don't go there, that's for the employees."</p>
<p>"Again, I <em>am</em> an employee."</p>
<p>"Use the training floor. It's not the floor below you, but the one right below that."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Isn't that for like <em>the Avengers</em>?"</p>
<p>"Avengers and friends." Tony waved me off. "Besides, I think you'll <em>really</em> like it. Just ask JARVIS and he'll take you to it. You have access to nearly everything in the Tower."</p>
<p>"As a superhero shouldn't you be a little more cautious about who you let roam around your house? I mean, I could have <em>villainous</em> intentions." Tony barked out a laugh and I frowned at him, "<em>Hey</em>, I could so be a villain!"</p>
<p>Tony snickered and focused back on his food, "Ok, sunshine."</p>
<p>"Listen, <em>Mr. Stark</em>—" Tony whipped around to point at me, and my eyes widened, "No, no, no! I was saying that <em>sarcastically</em>! It <em>doesn't</em> count!"</p>
<p>We argued a little further on that topic until Tony finally dropped it. He asked me a little about my college days, which I answered with ease, and then he told me stories of his own that we laughed about. Tony said I needed to meet his friend, a guy named Rhodey, because we'd get along super well. Apparently, we both had the similarity of loving to mock him. Any worries I had when I woke up this morning though slipped away as we joked on a Central Park bench.</p>
<p>After a while, Tony took the box from me and tossed them in the trash before we started walking out of the park. We still needed to go get his car from the restaurant before heading back to the office. Tony nudged me with his elbow, and I glanced over at him to see his smirk.</p>
<p>"So, what color Jeep did you want?"</p>
<p>"<em>Stark, no</em>."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha pulled her phone out of her pocket when it vibrated only to see another text from Clint. '<em>How is she doing today? Any problems? Do I need to talk to Stark?</em>' The redhead rolled her eyes. Clint tended to be a little overbearing at times, but she supposed that was one of the things she loved about him. With a career like the ones they had, it was easy for people to grow cold and hard. To become a machine hell bent on the mission and the mission alone.</p>
<p>It's what happened to her.</p>
<p>Not Clint though.</p>
<p>Clint Barton, despite all the shit, still <em>cared</em>. He could still find someone like her or Aj, lost in the storm and their sins, and see what they were to their core. That they were just tired souls who had lost faith in people and the world. Clint never lost faith in the people he found though. It was part of his charm.</p>
<p>'<em>I'm not stalking your daughter for you, Barton.'</em> She typed back before sliding the phone back into her coat pocket. The text wasn't a lie. She wasn't stalking Aj for him. She was actually doing it for herself. Natasha glanced back at the conference room with glass walls where a meeting was being held. Ever the newly professional, Aj sat upright while scribbling notes madly. Tony sat across from her with his head leaned against his hand and his sunglasses on indoors. He was definitely sleeping right now. There was nothing quite as good at putting him to sleep as an after lunch meeting.</p>
<p>So far, everything seemed to be going fine. Aj was doing her new job and Tony was being Tony. A more <em>well-behaved</em> version of himself today, surprisingly, but himself nonetheless. Natasha had a feeling it was because Aj, whether she knew it or not, had the billionaire wrapped around her finger. That was part of the reason why Natasha was sitting in the hall stalking the young woman.</p>
<p>Aj was growing on the group already and Natasha didn't fully trust it. She liked the woman well enough to continue to allow her to live among them, but she wouldn't be the spy she was if she left it at that. Now, Natasha knew the boys she lived with had a knack for helping anyone within their reach. Honestly, it was always <em>a 'who can draw up adoption papers faster'</em> competition between Clint and Tony. She wouldn't be surprised if they had arm wrestled over who got to do it this time. So that definitely played a role in her being able to settle in.</p>
<p>This was one of those rare cases where Natasha hoped she was wrong. She truly did hope this was just her paranoia eating at her and that Aj meant well by them. Especially since even Bruce and Steve were beginning to befriend her. Bruce was a little too busy with his next lecture circuit to spend much time outside of his office, but Steve didn't hesitate in reaching out. After the shock from the news of his best friend had worn off, he took it upon himself to really take on Bucky's odd request.</p>
<p>Natasha also knew of course that Steve was still trying to find his place in the new world though. He was much better than he was months ago, but the friends he had let in were often busy and since Captain America was supposed to be laying low and not getting involved with the new SHIELD build up it left him with too much free time.</p>
<p>Her phone went off again and she pulled it out expecting another text from Hawkeye. Instead, it was the results of her last sweep. She glanced down at her phone and read through all the information her sources had sent her. James Buchanan Barnes was still in the wind and nobody had caught sight of him yet. There was no way he would stay in Moscow after everything that had happened. Natasha had a feeling he had left Russia altogether. The question that remained was where he was going to try to go next.</p>
<p>Natasha glanced up to see the meeting was wrapping up. Aj kicked Tony under the table and the man sat up and began to nod his head. After realizing where he was, he stood to speak to whoever had been pitching their spiel to him. She watched Aj pack away her tablet into her bag and stand off to the side waiting for Tony to finish talking to the man. She stood up from the waiting room couch she was on and began to casually walk over.</p>
<p>Tony and Aj slipped out of the room and she could hear them billionaire groan, "That was the <em>longest </em>meeting of my life."</p>
<p>"You slept the <em>entire</em> time."</p>
<p>"Hey, you said I couldn't play with my phone this time so what else was I supposed to do?"</p>
<p>"I was going to suggest '<em>pay attention'</em>, but I guess that would put me out of a job."</p>
<p>Natasha smirked and as she got closer both of them turned to look at her. Aj had picked out one of the skirts and shirts to wear and wore ankle boots with it. The outfit called for a different pair of heels, but for the woman's first real attempt of business professional it wasn't too bad.</p>
<p>"Having fun, yet?" Natasha quirked an eyebrow at her.</p>
<p>Aj shook her head, "This nanny stuff is a full-time job."</p>
<p>"Ok, <em>not</em> a nanny, how many times do I have to clarify that?" Tony pressed, glancing at her with a smile that he tried to smother.</p>
<p>Natasha chuckled, "As someone who also had this job once upon a time, I have to agree with her description."</p>
<p>"That doesn't count. You were <em>spying</em> on me." Tony argued with a point of his finger. He motioned back to Aj, "Also, what color jeep do you think would fit her? I'm thinking <em>yellow</em>."</p>
<p>Aj groaned and buried her face into her braced hand, "Do <em>not</em> buy me a car, Tony."</p>
<p>"He bought us all cars." Natasha shrugged. "Well, he bought Steve a bike and Clint already had his car. Tony just fixed it up."</p>
<p>Tony motioned to her, "See? It's a tradition."</p>
<p>"You already gave me an apartment and an <em>entire</em> closet full of clothes." Clothes that Natasha still needed to have a tailor come in and fix, she made the mental note though a part of her was sure Tony already called one. "I don't need a car. I especially don't need a jeep in the city." Aj countered.</p>
<p>The tiny argument held a tone of amusement, but Natasha could see real discomfort with the idea of Tony buying her more things. Aj was definitely not after Tony's wealth that was for sure. It almost seemed like something she was putting up with so she could stick around. That was good. She could mark that hypothesis off her list, though it hadn't held much weight anyways.</p>
<p>"Why does he want to buy you a Jeep? Other than for the tradition of it all." Natasha questioned.</p>
<p>"Because he's <em>irrational</em>—"</p>
<p>"Because she is doing a <em>wonderful</em> job as my assistant."</p>
<p>"It's only my <em>first</em> day as your <em>nanny</em>."</p>
<p>"My only complaint is that she tried calling me <em>Mr. Stark</em>." Tony shook his head and Natasha chuckled. She knew very well how Tony felt about being called that. "So, as a reward for doing such a good job <em>and</em> as punishment for calling me something I told her not to call me, she gets a Jeep."</p>
<p>Aj rolled her eyes, "You need a new definition of punishment."</p>
<p>"It's a <em>perfect</em> punishment. You don't want me to buy you a car and by doing so I am teaching you the lesson of not calling me Mr. Stark." Tony shrugged. "It's action and then consequence. How else would you define it?"</p>
<p>Natasha watched something close to fear flash in Aj's eyes. It disappeared as soon as it came, and the young woman had only stiffened for a second. It told her that Aj had a very, very different definition of punishment. Natasha would guess that her old boss was not buying her Jeeps for doing something he told her not to do. The flash that had passed in her eyes was one of haunting trauma.</p>
<p>Aj forced a chuckle, "I just think if we polled the city of New York, no one would agree with you on the Jeep topic." She readjusted her grip on her bag's handles. "That was your last meeting of the day, by the way."</p>
<p>"Thank God." Tony said. Aj continued on, talking about the emails she had read for him and what he needed to get done before tomorrow, but Tony glanced to Natasha. The red head had wondered if he caught onto the same thing she had and based on the look he gave her he had. Neither of them were going to press on her history in the ring. They had their own skeletons they hid and understood the pain that came with digging them up to share. "Come on, let's go to my office and you can use my computer to answer my emails instead of the tablet."</p>
<p>"Or <em>you</em> could answer your own emails?"</p>
<p>"You're a <em>riot</em>, Bradshaw."</p>
<p>Aj gave Natasha a small smile, "Thanks again for picking out my wardrobe."</p>
<p>"Anytime. It's always nice to have some girl time around here." Natasha smiled back. "And I don't think yellow is her color. Maybe a matte gray?"</p>
<p>Tony snapped his fingers, "That's good."</p>
<p>Aj groaned again as Tony dragged her down the hall to his office. The two continued to argue about the Jeep the entire way. Natasha twisted her lips in thought. It really did seem like Aj meant well and it wasn't as if they couldn't handle any trouble she brought down on them. In fact, beating the shit out of the low level scum that tortured her seemed like a fun break from their usual world threatening dangers.</p>
<p>Natasha pulled out her phone and typed out a message to Clint.</p>
<p>
  <em>'She's doing good today.'</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"JARVIS, take me up, my man." I chirped while leaning against the back of the elevator.</p>
<p>"<em>Of course, Ms. Bradshaw</em>."</p>
<p>As JARVIS took me up to my floor, I pulled my shoes off to stand barefoot in the elevator. Today had been a good day. Tony attended all his meetings, I got to know him a little better, and as an assistant I did the job I was supposed to do. Granted, as time went on, I was sure Tony was gonna make it tougher and tougher, but it still felt like something I could handle.</p>
<p>The elevator doors opened and as I stepped out, I saw Steve walk out from the kitchen. A few minutes earlier JARVIS had passed along a message from Captain America asking if he was allowed on my floor since I was nearly done with work.</p>
<p>"Hey, how was work?" Steve asked. He had on jeans and a short sleeve shirt. "Tony wasn't too bad was, he?"</p>
<p>"He might be buying me a Jeep, but other than that he was an <em>angel</em>." I grinned. "You brought Chinese food?"</p>
<p>Steve nodded, "I did promise you some."</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>." I pumped my fist then pointed at him, "Lemme change and I'll be right back!"</p>
<p>I jogged to my room sliding on the tile floor with my socks. It didn't take me long to change into a pair of shorts, a hoodie, and fuzzy socks. After a moment of hesitation, I pulled the brace off my wrist and moved it around a little to test it out. Like I thought, it seemed back to my baseline.</p>
<p>With a chuckle, I slid out of my room and padded to the living room. Steve had brought the food to the dining room table and I paused to take in the room around me. I wrapped my arms around myself, warm in my brand new, hole less clothes, in a gorgeous apartment hanging out with Captain America who was turning out to be cooler than I thought he'd be. Yes, it was hard to wrap my head around all of this, but I wasn't stupid. I knew how <em>blessed</em> I was right now and not very often did I get to say that about my situation.</p>
<p>Steve turned around, "Hey, I actually wasn't sure what you liked so I kind of got a little of…well, <em>everything</em>." He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "But don't worry I can eat whatever you don't want."</p>
<p>"I've never been a picky eater." I grinned and walked over to join him. "Thanks so much for this, Steve."</p>
<p>He sat down and waved me off, "It was nothing."</p>
<p>We started to dig into the food and Steve asked all about my day. I answered easily and it seemed like he was actually listening to every word I said. It was nice. After a few minutes, I bit down on my lip and stirred my chopsticks around the to-go box of lo mien I was holding.</p>
<p>"Hey, Steve." I said slowly. He glanced up from his food with a raised eyebrow. "Um, I know Bucky said to…look out for me, or <em>whatever</em>, but you know you don't owe me that, right?" I chuckled and shrugged as nonchalantly as I could, "I'm sure you have better things to do than babysit me. I promise I'm not gonna make a break for it."</p>
<p>Steve laughed at my last phrase and then slowly shook his head, "This might sound kind of sad, but I actually don't. I'm adjusting a lot better lately, but sometimes I still don't really know what to do with myself." He gave me a soft smile. "Besides, I don't consider this babysitting at all. I like talking to you. It's nice to have someone in the Tower to hang out with. Tony and Bruce are great, but they're usually in the lab talking about…God knows what. Then there's Clint and Natasha, who again, are <em>amazing</em> but…"</p>
<p>"Hanging out with them kind of feels like third wheeling?" I guessed since I knew the two were involved.</p>
<p>Steve laughed, "No, they're good about that. They're almost always busy these days with rebuilding SHIELD though. Plus, I'm kind of used to feeling like a third wheel."</p>
<p>"How so?"</p>
<p>"I spent a lot of time hanging out with Bucky and whatever girl he invited out with us." Steve smiled at whatever memory he had in mind. "He was always mindful about it, did the best he could, but even when he brought me a date of my own…"</p>
<p>I smirked, "Are you trying to say past Steve Rogers didn't have game?"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "I don't think present Steve Rogers does either."</p>
<p>"Well, despite your lack of game, I really like hanging out with you." I chuckled, "And are you sure you don't have anything else to do tonight?"</p>
<p>He looked curious, "I'm completely free."</p>
<p>"<em>Perfect</em>." I stood up with my box of food and started to move towards the living room where the TV was. "Follow me, Rogers. I'm gonna introduce you to the world of the Walking Dead." Steve grabbed a few of the boxes and brought them over to the living room. He set them down on the coffee table and I went to work on getting Netflix up and running. I flipped to the first episode and then glanced at him, "You don't scare easy, do you?"</p>
<p>Steve narrowed his eyes at me, "<em>Really</em>?"</p>
<p>"Just double checking, Mr. America, calm down." I laughed and turned on the first episode. It'd be nice for me to watch the series from the beginning too since I usually only caught random episodes on the TV of whatever bar I was sitting in midday. "JARVIS can you dim the lights a little?"</p>
<p>JARVIS darkened the room some and I dropped down into my seat a cushion away from Steve with my legs criss crossed. My biggest worry was getting used to this only to have it snatched away, but maybe that was just as bad as never accepting it at all. Both ways cause me to lose out on this opportunity, and Lord knew I didn't get a lot of opportunities in life. I glanced over at Steve who, while eating, looked focused on the TV. I could get used to this having friends thing really easy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Twelve Dollars and a Pack of Cigarettes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><hr/><p>"You are worth finding,</p><p>worth knowing,</p><p>worth loving.</p><p>You + all your </p><p>one million layers.</p><p>Always hold that close."</p><p>-m.bliss</p><hr/><p>Three weeks of being a personal assistant to Tony Stark had come and gone, and I was happy to say that I had not run the company into the ground in a fiery ball of failure. In fact, I had done well enough that Pepper had called me at the end of week two to let me know I was doing fantastic and that she was excited to continue working with me in the future. I was not ashamed to say I spent the rest of the day smiling like an idiot after hearing that. Praise wasn't something I often got, usually it was just a lack of negative attention, but <em>damn</em> I could see why people liked it. Pepper officially offered me the job, Tony cheerfully threatened to buy me the Jeep again, Bruce congratulated me, Clint and Natasha had taken me out for celebratory coffee, and then I also celebrated with Steve the best way we knew how.</p><p>Take-out food and the Walking Dead.</p><p>Which we were were now doing again. It was part of our routine now really. Steve and I were midway through season three and he was nearly caught up since the first half of the fourth season was airing on TV right now.</p><p>"Ok, ok, ok." I laughed as the credits rolled on the last episode we planned on watching for the night. We were pacing ourselves. My back was leaning against the couch's arm and my legs were pulled into my chest with a fuzzy blanket covering me. The other half was stretched across Steve's lap who sat half a couch cushion away from me. He looked to me with a knowing grin. "Zombie apocalypse <em>Avengers</em> style."</p><p>"<em>Walker</em> apocalypse."</p><p>"Correct me again and we're throwing hands." I said back and he laughed, "Now don't evade my question. What's the plan, Captain?"</p><p>Steve hummed, "What are my rules?"</p><p>"<em>No powers</em>." I said firmly. "I'll let you stay buff or whatever." He chuckled. "But none of that <em>genetically engineere</em>d super strength or speed. Just normal buff guy strength. Banner has his brains, but no hulk. Same with Tony. All genius, <em>no</em> suits. Nat, Clint, and I still have our skills <em>obviously</em> because we spent <em>years</em> training and perfecting our talents."</p><p>Steve scoffed, "How is that fair?"</p><p>"How is that not?"</p><p>"Fine, fine." Steve relented and paused to think. Steve had easily become the guy I hung out with the most in the Tower and one of my favorite things about him is that no matter what stupid ass question or scenario I threw at him, he always took the answer seriously. "We definitely need to leave the city."</p><p>My eyes widened, "<em>Really</em>? Try to brave it in the <em>wilderness</em>?"</p><p>"Of course. You saw Atlanta." Steve motioned to the TV. "NYC would be <em>ten</em> times worse. The hardest part of my plan is getting us all out in one piece."</p><p>"The<em> one piece</em> part is important." I hummed. "Tony has <em>tons</em> of cars to use though."</p><p>Steve shook his head, "All his vehicles are built for speed though. Speed and being flashy." I snickered, and he continued. "We need something that will get us through a mob of walkers. It'd have to be big too. Steal a van, maybe? Something where we all fit and it's sturdy enough to push through any sort of barrier we come across."</p><p>I fake gasped, "<em>Steal</em>? Steven Rogers."</p><p>"Hey, this is apocalypse rules." He said firmly and I grinned. "Now, once we're out of the city we'd have to find a place to settle and hunker down in. Tony said he had some storage sheds way outside the city."</p><p>"Hmm." I nodded in admiration. "Not bad. Not bad. Are we letting newcomers into our merry gang of survivors?"</p><p>"Yeah, definitely." Steve nodded, but then he paused, "But we'd be careful about it. <em>Real</em> careful. I have faith there would be good people like us still out there, but realistically I know there would be some who saw it as just an opportunity to take power."</p><p>I snapped my fingers, "You know what? You've convinced me. If the world succumbs to walkers, I'd follow your lead, Captain."</p><p>"If you think anyone in this Tower would let you veer off and try to take it on without us…" Steve shook his head with a laugh. I rolled my eyes in good nature and he pat my shin a few times. "Come on, you should get to bed."</p><p>I groaned but threw my legs off the couch anyways, "I'm off tomorrow. Come on, one more episode!"</p><p>He stood with a chuckle and grabbed the trash we left on the coffee table from dinner, "As fun as that sounds, I told Sam I'd meet him in Washington tomorrow morning."</p><p>"<em>Boo</em>." I said. "Also, do I get to meet this Sam guy yet? I'm starting to think you're just making him up."</p><p>Steve smirked at me and offered me his free hand while the other held our trash. I took it with a pout, and he pulled me up to stand, "He isn't made up, and he wants to meet you too. I'll see if I can talk him into coming to Manhattan tomorrow for dinner. How about that?"</p><p>"Sounds fun. Count me in." I replied and helped him clean up our small mess. Tony always said he hired someone to keep the floors clean, but the idea of someone else having to clean up after me just felt weird so I did the best I could to keep my entire floor clean. Especially considering this floor was technically not fully mine. I didn't need the God of Thunder coming back from Asgard and smiting me for a messy kitchen.</p><p>After everything was picked up, I walked Steve to the elevator and high fived him goodnight before we went separate ways. He always came down to my floor rather than the other way around and I always ended the night with a high five like we were 12-year-olds.</p><p>It was weird. I had noticed early on that the Avengers were surprisingly touchy people. Honestly, I would've assumed the opposite based on the way they lived their lives, but they were constantly reaching out to one another. It was little things. Clint and Natasha would brush their hands against one another subtly every once in a while. As if convincing each other that the other was still there. Tony had a thing about shoulders. He was always grabbing a shoulder to squeeze or would reassuringly pat their backs in passing. Bruce would lightly reach out and touch the forearm or elbow casually as he spoke to them. Steve was a weird little mix of all of them, though each of them stole from one another every once in a while, but it was tougher for me to notice one single trait that belonged to him alone.</p><p>I stepped into my bedroom and started getting ready to sleep. To be honest, I had a small idea of why they did what they did. An old psychology class drifted to the forefront of my mind when I initially noticed it. Groups bonded through trauma would sometimes use touch as a way to keep themselves grounded. It was a healthy coping mechanism for the person reaching out and the person receiving. An acknowledgement that all was ok and that they were safe.</p><p>Lord knew that my touch starved ass could use a little of that in my life. They actually had tried reaching out. After the first week I noticed Tony would grab my shoulder or the back of my neck comfortingly and Clint, the only one of the group who was an active hugger, would greet me after missions with his arms, but I couldn't do it. I felt too awkward to tell them to stop, but they must have noticed on their own because the touches had abruptly ended. Maybe they felt the way I stiffened every time someone put their hands on me.</p><p>It wasn't personal.</p><p>It really wasn't and I hoped to heaven they knew that. As hungry as I was for that kind of comfort, every time someone touched me my skin would crawl. My brain would crave it and call out for it, but it was like my body had a mind of its own. I had gotten used to being here, being friends with the people around me, and I could even say I trusted them.<em> I trusted them.</em> That was a huge thing for me. Despite that though, anytime they reached out my body would recoil as if I was going to be hit. I hated it. Boss was locked up and the ring was dead, but both still found some way to poison my life.</p><p>I dropped onto the expansive sea that was my bed and JARVIS turned out the lights. It took me a minute to let my eyes adjust to just the natural moonlight filtering in from the large windows. Tony had told me the windows had shutters I could use to darken the room further, but I liked the light it gave.</p><p>For the next thirty minutes, I stared at the shadows on the ceiling wishing sleep would come over me. Lately, I hadn't been getting much sleep. Staying still made it too easy for my mind to wander and my wandering mind just wouldn't shut the hell up. It didn't even say anything in particular. It was just like a bunch of white noise bouncing around in my skull. Maybe when the Russians cracked my head open they really did break something more than my actual skull.</p><p>With a groan, I sat back up and moved to my closet. It took me 2 minutes to change from my pajamas to spandex shorts, sports bra, and a tank top, and only 5 minutes to get JARVIS to take me down to the training floor. Tony, as per usual, had been completely right. I absolutely loved this floor. It had it all. Treadmills, free weights, actual weight machines, a bunch of punching bags, including a speed bag, and hell half the floor was made up of sparring mats.</p><p>After stretching, I grabbed a yellow pair of fingerless boxing gloves. So far, I hadn't been down here with any Avenger. It was probably because I was usually down here really late at night or stupid early in the morning. No time a normal human should be awake. I asked Natasha if she had any tape for when I worked on a bag. She had told me where her own stash was, but of course Tony, who I think just looked for an excuse to buy things, had left a pair of bright yellow boxing gloves with a bow on them for me.</p><p>I think it was because the day after I came down here for the first time, I came to work the next morning with bruised knuckles.</p><p>The truth of it was, as much as I was finally settling into my new life and as much as I truly did love it, I couldn't stop the itch of wanting to fight. I hated Boss, I hated the ring, but it was moments like this that reminded me why I got stuck in that hellhole in the first place. Fighting had started as a hobby that turned into a coping method that turned into a way to let my anger bleed out of me. Finally, it ended as an addiction. I was an <em>addict</em> for the adrenaline fighting put in my veins and at this point it might've been healthier for me to have just gotten hooked on cocaine or something.</p><p>Sweating on this training floor, throwing my frustration into a bag, curbed the edge I felt but it was nothing like the real thing. It was nothing like facing off another human being with as much rage as I had. It was a poor substitute, but I would have to make due. The urge to walk into a bar and start something just for the thrill of it was tempting, but that probably wouldn't be a good look for Tony Stark's newest employee.</p><p>So instead, I spent the nights and mornings I wasn't asleep doing this.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Steve walked into the familiar building a little past ten in the morning. Sam had told him to meet him here. He was a little early, Sam was probably still leading his usual session, but Steve didn't mind waiting. As he got closer, he heard his phone chime and pulled it out of his pocket. There were a lot of things to get used to in this day and age, but Steve would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the little things like this.</p><p><em>'Look who I found!</em>' It was a text from Aj, and it was followed by a video. The preview picture was of Clint passed out on the shared kitchen island counter. Steve's lips twitched up, knowing what was coming, and hit play.</p><p>The video started quiet, just Aj walking into the kitchen with her camera pointed on Clint who was asleep on the island counter. The guy has a knack for passing out in the absolute worst places possible and Steve was still shocked he could fall asleep in the places he picked out. Aj panned the camera around to look at her, winked once, and then stepped closer.</p><p><em>"HEY DAD!"</em> Aj yelled and Clint shot straight up. Since he was already half hanging off the counter he fell the rest of the way and hit the ground hard. Aj burst into laughter and Clint jumped back up with a curse before sprinting toward her. The camera went blurry as Aj took off running and then abruptly ended.</p><p>Steve chuckled to himself before typing back, '<em>You're going to give your father a heart attack.'</em></p><p>
  <em>'Clint says I'm grounded. Will you use your Captain America powers to tell him he can't ground me?'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'I'll see what I can do.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'I don't appreciate that lack luster response, sir.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'I will use my Captain voice and make sure he doesn't ground you.'</em>
</p><p>'<em>Better</em>.'</p><p>Steve shook his head and tucked his phone back into his pocket before moving to glance at the medals and posters on the wall. After killing about ten minutes, the therapy group Sam was working with began to filter out of the room. He nodded at a few that recognized him from the times he swung by to see Sam then moved to the room himself. Sam was cleaning up the coffee table.</p><p>"You know, you're more than welcome to come and hang with the group." Sam called out.</p><p>Steve shrugged, "I know. How've you been?"</p><p>"No complaints. Keeping busy." Sam threw away the last of the trash before turning to look at him. He had on khakis and a button up shirt. Not Sam's usual look, but the man always tried to look a little official for the therapy groups. He tiptoed the line between casual and professional. "You?"</p><p>"Fine." Steve answered. "I'd like to say I'm keeping busy too, but I really have nothing to do right now. I'm almost caught up on the Walking Dead. Does that count?"</p><p>Sam chuckled, "That's nice. You still watching it every night with Aj?"</p><p>His friend raised his eyebrows as he asked with a teasing smirk on his face. Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes and just smiled back, "Yeah. We watch it together."</p><p>"So, does that count as like <em>date night</em> for you guys or…?"</p><p>Steve laughed with a shake of his head. Anytime Aj got mentioned with Sam it always ended up here. Sam and Natasha. He crossed his arms, "It isn't like that. She's just a friend."</p><p>"A friend you won't shut up about. It's always <em>Aj this</em> and <em>Aj that.</em>" Sam joked.</p><p>"Speaking of, Aj wants to meet you tonight. You up for dinner?"</p><p>Sam grinned and clapped him on the shoulder as they stepped out of the room, "I <em>finally</em> get to meet the girl that makes Captain America <em>swoon</em>?"</p><p>"You keep this up and I'm not taking you back to New York with me." Steve chuckled. The two of them got outside and Steve readjusted his jacket. He wasn't the biggest fan of the cold. It hadn't always been like that, but these days it bothered him a lot though he'd never admit it aloud.</p><p>Sam motioned to the right where his car was parked along the street and they moved toward it, "Be real with me, man. There's something there, right? Even the <em>beginnings</em> of a crush?"</p><p>"I told you it's not like that. I like spending time with her. She's fun and we get along well." Steve shrugged and stopped by the passenger door of the car. Sam unlocked it and he slid into the seat. Once Sam was in as well, he continued, "You'd really like her, Sam. She's great."</p><p>Sam gave him another look, "Ok, let me rephrase this for you, <em>grandpa</em>." Steve shook his head in amusement. As much as he did love hanging out with Aj, he had really missed Sam. The man had easily become a good friend of his. "Could you see yourself one day liking her as <em>more</em> than just a friend?"</p><p>"Are we <em>really</em> having this conversation?" Steve questioned. "I thought I was here for work."</p><p>"Work is boring. <em>This</em> is interesting. Plus, Nat told me to bug you about it a little more." Sam replied and Steve nodded in understanding. The redheaded woman loved hanging out with Sam almost as much as he did and the two of them met up often when Natasha was in DC for SHIELD things. "Now answer the question."</p><p>Steve glanced over at Sam whose eyes were focused on the road, "Nat has been trying to get me out on a date since the battle of New York. This is just her latest idea."</p><p>"You avoiding my question is honestly the <em>only</em> answer I really need."</p><p>"I…" Steve began and shook his head. This wasn't the kind of conversation he should even be thinking about. Aj was a friend. He knew that and he really did enjoy spending time with her. She was funny and true to herself and they had things in common. What more could he want from a friend in the Tower? Apparently, Natasha and Sam thought there could be more, but it wasn't a thought he often entertained. He couldn't say the thought hadn't occurred to him, but he let it go as quickly as it had come. "She's <em>Bucky's</em> <em>girl</em>."</p><p>Sam, who was now stopped at a light, snapped his head to look at him in disbelief, "<em>Bucky's girl</em>? Bucky knew her for <em>three</em> days and she was <em>unconscious</em> for <em>two</em> of them! Meanwhile, you have spent nearly<em> a month</em> with her, getting to know her better. You know more about her than he does I can <em>guarantee</em> you that."</p><p>Steve shook his head. Sam wasn't wrong about that. Anytime Aj offered information about herself, he made sure to absorb it like a sponge. She didn't like mushrooms unless they were eating pizza, but the pizza also had to have bacon. Aj liked the Walking Dead because she liked the idea of a group of people finding a family together even in the hardest of times. Her favorite color was blue, but only navy blue, she hated birds for a reason she still wouldn't disclose to him, and she hadn't had a sip of soda for the past five years. It wasn't often that the woman would bring up topics from her past or the way she felt about things, but Steve really liked slowly getting to know her better and better.</p><p>"They weren't around each other long, but she made him feel <em>something</em>." Steve argued. "She managed to break through to him and I <em>can't</em> ignore that."</p><p>"Well <em>I</em> can't ignore the fact that <em>you're</em> stopping yourself from catching feelings because <em>you</em> have some <em>weird</em> idea that your missing best friend is in love with her after a <em>day</em> of talking to her." Sam countered.</p><p>It was a good argument, but Sam didn't know Bucky like he did. He shook his head, "I'm not saying he fell in love. I'm just saying that they connected somehow, maybe it was the trauma of it all, but I don't know... It's just a gut feeling I have."</p><p>"What does Aj say about Bucky?"</p><p>"She doesn't talk about him a lot. I think it's because she thinks it bothers me and it probably isn't fun reliving those days for her too." Steve said. "She wears his jacket."</p><p>Sam glanced over at him again, "What?"</p><p>"He gave her his jacket in the bunker. Tony had it dry cleaned for her since she bled through it pretty badly."</p><p>Sam hummed to himself in thought before nodding once and speaking up, "That makes sense. She went through something terrible and Bucky and that jacket were her anchor. It gives her comfort. From the sound of it, she's handling this pretty well, but this only happened to her a month ago. That's not a lot of time and everything familiar to her took a full 180."</p><p>"I <em>really</em> want you to talk to her." Steve commented. "I think it could help. She's doing good, but I don't think she's getting as much sleep as she should. She's almost on a Tony sleep schedule."</p><p>Sam grimaced, "<em>Sheesh</em>."</p><p>"Yeah." Steve agreed.</p><p>"I'd love to help her out in any way I can. Anything for <em>Captain America's</em> girl."</p><p>Steve rolled his eyes, "You think you're real funny, don't you?"</p><p>"Oh, I <em>know</em> I'm funny." Sam replied with a shake of his head, "Let's get to work. I gotta make sure we're done in time for us to get back to New York. I gotta meet the girl pullin' on your heart strings."</p><p>Steve scoffed with a grin and didn't offer a reply. Nothing he said would convince Sam or Natasha otherwise. It didn't really matter though. Aj was his friend and he liked hanging out with her. That was all he actually needed to know.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Avengers Tower had a small coffee stand in the lobby. Actually, the Tower had multiple spots for coffee. There was a full-blown Starbucks on the second floor. Still, my favorite stop for coffee, and Tony's too, was a small little stand that a guy named Sal set up. He had various people who worked there, but no matter what Sal was always there. I was actually starting to wonder if he lived in the stand.</p><p>"Sal!" I called out as I got closer to it. I had gotten to know the guy well since I came here two times every weekday to pick something up for my caffeine addicted boss.</p><p>Sal, a middle-aged man with thick black hair and a pot belly behind his blue apron, cheered when he saw me, "Look at the little bird today!"</p><p>"Still don't like that nickname." I countered with a smirk, "But I will continue to put up with it because you pour magic into those cups."</p><p>"It's a gift." Sal shrugged. He spun his finger once. "Let me see!"</p><p>Sal was impressed with my wardrobe, maybe more so than I was, and he always asked me to model my outfit of choice for the day. Today my day off outfit consisted of the best fitting jeans I had ever owned, a white, loose button up shirt, and Bucky's dark green canvas jacket. Technically the look would be better with the gray peacoat Natasha convinced me to get, but wearing Bucky's oversized jacket was comforting in a way I couldn't describe.</p><p>I stuck my hand into the coat pockets and spun dramatically on my heel with a flip of my hair. Sal laughed and clapped his hands, "There we go! Killing it as per usual!" I laughed and leaned against the counter giving the employee working with Sal today a little wave. Sal tapped on the counter, "I have something for you to sign."</p><p>"For me to <em>sign</em>?" I questioned.</p><p>Sal pulled a newspaper out from under the counter and slammed it on the counter in front of me. I recognized the tabloid easily and I knew exactly which issue it was too. The front cover had a picture of me stepping out of the high-class dry cleaners picking up Tony's suits and the headline read <em>'The Domestic New Mistress!'</em> It was the follow up issue to one where someone had gotten a picture of me and Tony eating lunch claiming I was his newest conquest. Tony framed it in his lab saying it was the funniest thing he had seen since they claimed him and Steve were in a relationship. Tony literally had a wall with tabloids claiming he was in a relationship with nearly every Avenger and now I was part of the club.</p><p>"Oh, come on." I laughed.</p><p>Sal pointed to the top where a familiar scribble was, "Your lover signed it for me already."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and held out my hand. With a grin he set a pen into it and I signed the space by my annoyed face in the picture. The assholes hadn't even gotten a good picture of me. Absolute bullshit. When I went to hand back the pen Sal sat down a small coffee cup in front of me. I grinned, "Now I remember why I put up with you, Sal."</p><p>"Have a good day!" He chirped.</p><p>There really was no plan to my day off today. I had dinner with Sam and Steve tonight unless plans changed, but usually Steve never went back on plans like that with me. I had an entire day to kill, and I figured I'd spend it wandering the city I hadn't spent the time getting to know. It'd be nice to experience Manhattan casually.</p><p>I walked down the sidewalk, sipping on my drink, in the cold, Fall air. There was some kind of electricity hanging in the air of the city. People milled about completely focused on their own moment while I breezed past them people watching. I readjusted my sunglasses and just drifted. It felt like a full hour had passed of me just walking down the street looking at various buildings. Clint mentioned there was a cute little brunch place around the corner. As it turns out, what I had been missing my entire life was brunch. I never understood why rich, old white women were obsessed with it but holy shit I got it now.</p><p>My little adventure was nearing its end, so I figured I'd pick up food from the brunch place and take it back to the Tower. It was my day off, but I was pretty sure if I didn't bring food to Tony he would starve to death.</p><p><em>'I'm picking up food. Any brunch requests?'</em> I texted Tony and stuck my phone back into my coat pocket. I paused then pulled out my phone again. Nothing said <em>'I'm sorry for scaring the shit out of you</em>' quite like bacon did. I sent the same text to Clint.</p><p>The brunch place wasn't as fancy as the one I had gone to with Clint ages ago, but it still looked nice. Whereas the other one was classy this one was very cozy with mostly outdoor seating. I greeted the host at the podium and quickly ordered my own food then pulled out my phone to check requests.</p><p>
  <em>'Pancakes but if they aren't fluffy enough I'm sending you back.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Hm, do they sell apologies at the brunch place? Lessons for respecting your elders?'</em>
</p><p>I ordered pancakes for Tony and an omelet I was pretty sure Hawkeye would like. The guy nodded and told me I could wait over by the bar. As I walked over to the outdoor bar, I texted Tony the eye rolling emoji and Clint the poop emoji.</p><p>"Can I get the rum sunrise?" I asked the bartender who nodded once. Natasha had sent me a snap, and if you had told me Black Widow was on snapchat I would've laughed your ass onto the street, but she was very active on the app. It was a picture of a pair of black heeled ankle boots with the caption<em> 'Like it?'.</em></p><p>I took a picture of the bar and replied back, <em>'Real cute. You'd look great in them.</em>'</p><p>Seconds later, I got another snap, this time of Natasha's bored face, with the caption, <em>'I bought them for you, dumbass'.</em></p><p>The shock of the Avengers randomly bringing me things had somewhat worn off so instead of having a panic attack I just snickered instead. Before I could send a snap back in reply though, a large form saddled up to the bar beside me.</p><p>"Hey there, Bradshaw."</p><p>The familiar voice immediately made me nauseous. Not in fear or worry but just out of plain disgust and annoyance. I dragged my eyes to the man beside me who was grinning at me like we were best friends.</p><p>Kyle Osborne. Tall, broad shoulders, dirty blond hair and a chiseled chin. Unfortunately, he was exactly my type. In fact, he was so my type that five years ago when he asked me out on a date I couldn't help but say yes. The date went well, he found out I used to fight, and then on our follow up date he brought me to the Ring. It was the equivalent of an alcoholic visiting a liqueur store. Only terrible things could follow.</p><p>"And here I had hoped you fucking <em>died</em>." I mumbled. The last time I saw this jackass was two years ago. For the first three years, he was a good friend. He also fought for Boss and he acted as my ally. Then, out of nowhere, he stole money from Boss. He stole money from that evil bastard and then he pinned the <em>entire</em> thing on me. "What do you want?"</p><p>"Is that how you treat an old friend?"</p><p>"We are <em>not</em> friends." I snapped. The bartender brought me my drink. A tall glass filled with a red liquid that lightened in color as it rose to the top of the glass. A true sunrise. "If you were dying of dehydration in a desert I wouldn't even <em>spit</em> on you."</p><p>Kyle nodded, "Still dramatic, I see." My teeth clenched tightly and if he noticed it then he didn't care. "You look really good though. I guess fucking Tony Stark has it's perks, huh?"</p><p>"Kyle, you have 30 seconds to say whatever the hell it is you want to say." I growled. "After that, if you're still here, I <em>end</em> you."</p><p>He had the nerve to chuckle at my threat. As if my eyes didn't scream '<em>homicide</em>' right now. To be honest, the only reason I hadn't immediately stabbed him in the neck with the closest brunch fork as soon as I saw him was because I knew my new friends would be a little disappointed. Not a <em>lot</em> disappointed, I think, once I explained why, but at least a <em>little</em> disappointed. Plus, it wouldn't look good in the tabloids if Tony's newest lover was a murderer, so…</p><p>"Always so quick to the point. You don't wanna catch up? See how I've been?"</p><p>"I would <em>literally</em> rather eat glass shards."</p><p>Kyle pressed his lips together, the only clue that he was starting to get irritated. I hated that I knew that about him. He rubbed his jawline and then leaned against the bar, "I need a favor, Aj."</p><p>My brain shut off. <em>He needed a favor?</em> Kyle was coming to me because he needed a <em>favor</em>? The man who pinned the loss of $25,000 on me then <em>bailed</em>. Boss had fucking <em>waterboarded</em> me over and over again trying to get me to tell him where I put the money. The money I <em>didn't even have</em>. I couldn't even look at a body of water without remembering what it felt like to have ice cold water poured over the rag on my face.</p><p>Kyle, ever the clueless moron, continued, "I know we left on the wrong foot, but I need some help. I owe some bad people some money, a guy worse than Boss, and I was hoping you could loan me some cash." Loan meant I'd never see the money again. "I was thinking $700,000 would cover it. That's chump change for your new<em> sugar daddy</em>."</p><p>My hand tightened around the glass and I tried to keep my breathing steady. Anger was crawling up from my gut into my chest and it felt like I was burning alive. Every inch of me was foaming at the mouth, rabid and feral, ready to tear Kyle limb from limb.</p><p>"No." I said simply.</p><p>Kyle blinked in surprise, "No? <em>No</em>? After <em>everything</em> I did for you?"</p><p>I <em>hated</em> that. I <em>hated</em> that with <em>every</em> fiber of my being. People like Boss and Kyle acting like they had done me any favors. As if my life was any better from knowing them. They acted like I owed them something, like I was being a bratty child rebelling against her loving parents. Boss <em>tortured</em> me mentally and physically for five years, and Kyle? It wasn't his fault I was in the ring. I knew it was my own desire, my own <em>addiction</em>, that lead me to pick up that first fight, but he took me there despite me telling him that I was trying to move past that part of my life. Kyle had no problem with not warning me about Boss and how the ring works. He was content with letting myself fight until Boss noticed me enough to drag me into his claws.</p><p>Before I could tell him exactly how I felt about that, another large man saddled up to my left. I didn't recognize this guy, but he looked like bad news. The bartender must have noticed because I watched him slip away into the back. Probably to call the cops. Good for him.</p><p>"I didn't want to do it this way, Aj. For old times sake." Kyle said softly with a shake of his head. "If you don't give me the money I need then I'm gonna have to hurt you. Boss put a price on your head, and I don't want to do this, but I <em>can't</em> turn down that potential paycheck."</p><p>I smirked, "Kyle, you'd sell me out to Boss for <em>$12</em> and a <em>pack of cigarettes</em>."</p><p>Kyle frowned at the jab at his character. This asshole saw himself as some noble hero. My plan was to tell him to take a long hike off a short pier, grab our food, and then go back to the Tower where I could pound into a punching bag until my hands were black and blue. That was the plan and I was dedicated to it.</p><p>But then he <em>touched</em> me.</p><p>Kyle set his hand on my shoulder, squeezed down, and gave me a look he thought would win me over. Two years ago, it probably would've.</p><p>"Come with us now. Don't make a scene." Kyle said firmly.</p><p>The man on my other side turned to face me and out of the corner of my eye I could see the glint of a small pocketknife. They should've brought something with a little more punch. I shrugged off his hand with a glare, "Relax. I'm finishing my drink first. It cost me $10."</p><p>Kyle stiffened in annoyance, but I reached forward and brought the glass to my lips. The drink was sweet and I would've really liked it if Kyle hadn't shown up. It was the perfect drink to sip on outside on a beautiful Fall day in the city waiting for my food. Right now, though? It felt <em>too</em> sweet. It didn't feel right. I needed something sharp and burning. I needed something sharp and burning because I was about to disappoint a <em>lot</em> of people.</p><p>I knew I could always argue that this was just self-defense because technically it was. Kyle was threatening to take me away and turn me into one of Boss' non-incarcerated henchmen for money. I had a guy with a knife at my back. To anyone looking in at the scene this was self-defense. However, my brain didn't see either of these idiots as a threat. I wasn't scared in the slightest of Kyle or the brawny guy he brought with him because he was too much of a coward to face me himself. I was going to fight back, not because I was scared and protecting myself, but because I <em>wanted</em> to taste his blood. I <em>wanted</em> him <em>bruised</em> and <em>broken</em> at my feet and I <em>knew</em> that was terrible. I knew <em>I</em> was terrible. The Avengers tried to save me from myself, but at the end of the day not even the greatest superhero squad known to man could heal the broken thing in me that craved blood.</p><p>Kyle scoffed, "Hurry up."</p><p>I glanced at him before tilting the glass and chugging the rest of the drink. Kyle let out a sigh of relief. Instead of setting the glass back down though, I turned and smashed it into the side of the guy with the knife's head while also kicking my foot back into Kyle's gut. Kyle lost his breath, stumbled back, and I took that opportunity to turn to the guy who was still recovering from that first blow. I grabbed a handful of his hair and slammed his head against the flat portion of the bar. He crumpled to the ground unconscious.</p><p>Right as I whipped around to face Kyle, he threw a punch at me. I dove back out of his reach and readjusted my feet. Kyle had his arms up, ready to fight, and his teeth clenched. He was seething and all I could do was laugh.</p><p>"You <em>really</em> thought I was just gonna walk out with you, Kyle?" I scoffed with a grin.</p><p>Kyle lunged forward and I ducked and rolled out of the way of every swing of his beefy arm. Every time I dodged a punch, I landed one of my own against his torso. Kyle grunted in annoyance and tried to throw his knee into my side. I blocked the knee, but it gave him the angle to grab me into a headlock. His arm tightened around my throat as he smirked. I turned my chin toward his torso, giving myself room to catch my breath, then swiftly stepped behind his own feet. This gave me enough leverage to pull his arm back then knock his feet out from under him.</p><p>He fell forward on the ground then scrambled to get up while I straightened my jacket. I smirked at him, "This plan of yours might've worked if you remembered one thing."</p><p>"What's that?" Kyle spat at me.</p><p>"You're a good fighter." I replied. "But <em>I'm</em> <em>better</em>."</p><p>I lunged forward, ducking under the sloppy swing on his arm, and then sent a left uppercut under his chin followed by a right hook. Kyle tried to grab me, but I moved out of the way and followed up with an elbow to the center of his face. I heard the satisfying crunch of his nose, but instead of reveling in it I grabbed handfuls of his hair and drove my knee up into his face at the same time of my hands dragging him down.</p><p>Kyle hit the ground hard, groaning while clutching his bleeding nose. I stepped toward him, not done with my onslaught, when the sound of people rushing out onto the patio stopped me.</p><p><em>"Freeze! Put your hands up!</em>" An officer barked, his gun trained on me.</p><p>I clenched my jaw, unhappy that Kyle was still conscious, and raised my hands up. Apparently, I had kicked their asses so badly that the cops on scene didn't immediately assume self-defense. It didn't help that neither had left a mark on me. As one officer went to arrest Kyle and try to rouse the unconscious guy, I felt another handcuff my hands behind my back. He was reciting me my rights, but it wasn't something I hadn't heard before. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time I was being arrested.</p><p>A small voice in the back of my head told me to argue my innocence. Tell them this was a misunderstanding and I was being threatened, but I shoved that voice back into the recesses of my mind.</p><p>There was no innocent part of me.</p><p>Not anymore.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Clint slouched in his seat with his feet kicked up on the coffee table. He was currently lounging in the shared living space waiting for Aj to show up with his lunch. Tony was working in his lab, Bruce was out of town doing lecture work, Natasha was shopping, and Steve was in DC with Sam. Clint counted himself lucky that he had absolutely nothing to do today. Those were his favorite kind of days.</p><p>The TV in the shared space was tucked into the floor and with a button it would rise up. A random, local news channel was playing in the background since Agent Hill had asked him to keep an eye out for weird disturbances, but he was more concerned about the game on his phone. A few more minutes and he'd beat this level of Candy Crush that had been haunting him for the past week.</p><p>"<em>Why</em> do you keep putting your <em>nasty</em> feet on <em>my</em> coffee table?" Tony called out.</p><p>Clint glanced over, not moving his feet, to see Tony leaving the lab and coming down to the kitchen. He must have run out of coffee. Clint smirked, "I thought this was <em>our</em> coffee table, Stark. Shared spaced and all."</p><p>"Shared space just means there are <em>multiple</em> people who want your feet off the table instead of just me." Tony countered before disappearing.</p><p>The elevator doors opened, but Clint couldn't see who came in since the risen TV blocked his view of the doors. Seconds later, Natasha came around it with a few bags in her hands. She glanced around before looking to him, "Get your feet off the table." Clint groaned and pulled his feet back. "Where is Aj? I have some things I want her to try on."</p><p>Natasha was the kind to go out and buy things for the group to wear. She'd see a jacket that would look good on Thor or a shirt that would modernize Steve's collection and just buy it. More than 80% of Clint's entire wardrobe came from Natasha just buying things for him. Now that there was another girl to shop for though, Nat had been on cloud nine.</p><p>"She's getting me brunch food as an apology for hurting my feelings." And pride.</p><p>Tony came out with a mug of coffee, "She's out getting <em>us</em> food, and she <em>never</em> apologized. Nor should she. I told you to stop lying on the kitchen counter." Clint rolled his eyes, but Tony continued, "She should be back by now though. It shouldn't take this long."</p><p>"Who's the worrywart now?" Clint mocked. Tony took every chance he had to make fun of him for '<em>adopting</em>' Aj. He thought that was ironic since Tony basically did the exact same thing. Clint was pretty sure Tony was just peeved that Clint beat him to the paperwork. Even though technically the paperwork was for a dog.</p><p>"Firstly, I never used a word like '<em>worrywart</em>'." Tony came closer to stand by the two of them. "Second, I've finally figured out that our daughter is an <em>absolute</em> trouble magnet and should be supervised at <em>all</em> times."</p><p>"<em>Our</em> daughter? Are we <em>finally</em> settling on joint custody?" Clint sat up in his seat with a grin. He looked to Natasha with his hands up in celebration, "<em>Happy day</em>, Tash, our baby girl is <em>coming home!</em>"</p><p>Tony pointed at him, "Keep it up. I'll lock you out of <em>every</em> source of coffee in this building."</p><p>"That punishment does <em>not</em> fit the crime at all."</p><p>Natasha rolled her eyes, "Ignoring this argument, has anyone just called her?"</p><p>Tony and Clint glanced at each other before looking back to her with matching, sheepish smiles. She shook her head and set the bags down to pull out her phone. It was an honest to God miracle that anything got done around here.</p><p>Clint's eyes flashed back to the TV where the muted news anchor was talking with a smile. The banner under her read <em>'Bar Brawl Broken Up By Police'</em>. Clint snickered at the name and pointed to the screen, "Hey, look, what kind <em>idiot</em> gets into a bar fight at<em> 11:30</em> in the morning?"</p><p>All eyes slid to the TV at his words just as a grainy video began to play on the screen. The video was of a woman knocking one guy out and then fighting the other and it took them a minute for it all to click, but then it did. Tony hastily placed his cup onto the table, coffee sloshing out, "<em>Son of a bitch</em>, that's <em>our</em> idiot."</p><p>He rushed off while Clint began to rub the back of his neck. Natasha tilted her head once and hummed, "She has really good form and—hmm, she got out of that head lock impressively fast."</p><p>Clint groaned and buried his face into his hands, "Not even Captain America is gonna stop me from grounding her ass."</p><p>"Again, she's a <em>grown</em> woman." Natasha said and sat down beside him on the couch. "You <em>can't</em> ground her. What do you think happened though? I doubt she picked two random people to fight."</p><p>Clint shrugged as Natasha worked on her phone. A few minutes later she had another copy of the video but this one was taken from a cellphone from behind the bar and had audio. It was still hard to hear, but Clint was able to pick up on one thing.</p><p>"She called him Kyle. She knows him."</p><p>"Think he works for <em>Eugene</em>?" Natasha asked. She couldn't help but mock the name. When they had asked Aj ages ago what his actual name was she had told them that she didn't even know. It was only after he was arrested and booked did they learn that his name was <em>Eugene Morgan</em>. Aj had laughed at that, but didn't seem overly pleased that she was tormented by a jackass named Eugene.</p><p>Clint stood up, "Don't know, but I'm gonna find out."</p><p>Tony would pick up the jailbird and he would deal with the shithead that got her arrested. It was all about balance.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Dude, that's great." I smiled at Officer Reagan. "I can't believe how big she is now! The last time you arrested me your daughter was like what? <em>9</em>?"</p><p>Officer Reagan, a middle-aged man with a warm demeanor, nodded, "Yupp. Time sure does fly, doesn't it?"</p><p>"You're telling me." I replied as he led me down the hallway to the drunk tank. It's where I would sit until either someone came to pay bail, or my time ran out which would be around 10 hours.</p><p>"You look like you're doing good though, Bradshaw. I'm picking you up from <em>much</em> nicer places now." He joked.</p><p>"Hey, you too!" I bumped my shoulder into him since my hands were still handcuffed behind my back. "Working in <em>Manhattan</em> now? That's <em>gotta</em> be better from our old neighborhood."</p><p>Regan laughed and stopped me to take the handcuffs off, "You have <em>no</em> idea. Are you sure you don't wanna use your one phone call?"</p><p>I nodded and he swung the door to the cell open for me to walk in. The idea of calling Tony or Clint or Natasha to come pick me up was <em>unbearable</em>. The embarrassment of it all might just kill me. I knew they were probably going to find me anyways since I didn't have my phone and wouldn't be answering their worried calls, but I was going to put that off for as long as possible.</p><p>"Do my eyes deceive me or is<em> Small Fry</em> back in the cell?" Reagan shut the door and I turned to the bench where a very familiar face had spoken up. There were two other woman in the drunk tank with me. One was an older lady who was obviously still inebriated with the way she was passed out on the floor and the other was the infamous<em> Hammer Head</em>.</p><p>"<em>Holy shit,</em> Hammer Head?" I scoffed. "<em>Geez</em>, I'm running into <em>all</em> of the old crew today. How lucky of me."</p><p>Hammer Head, whose real name I honestly didn't even know, smirked at me. Her dark skin made the bubblegum pink wig she wore that much more noticeable. She had on a corset that accented her breasts and a pair of tight shorts with fish net stockings. Her tired, brown eyes greeted me and the eyebrow with a shaved portion in the corner rose, "Who else you running into?"</p><p>"Fucking <em>Osborne</em>." I replied with his last name since that's all she would recognize. Hammer Head made a gagging motion that I laughed at. I moved to sit down beside her on the shitty bench and sighed, "You know it's still pisses me off that the guys get to use their names for fights and we get shit like—"</p><p>"<em>Hammer Head</em> and <em>Small Fry</em>?"</p><p>I nodded, glancing at her, "You get it."</p><p>"Course I do." She shrugged and then without changing her tone continued, "What I <em>don't</em> get is you <em>snitching</em> on all of us."</p><p>I flinched at the accusation and tried not to stiffen in my seat. Hammer Head was probably the closest thing I could call a friend from the ring, but that was a <em>very</em> loose definition. She could easily turn to fight me, and I wouldn't be surprised. Hell, I probably deserved it.</p><p>"It wasn't like that." I said pathetically.</p><p>Hammer Head shifted in her seat to face me head on and now I could see the anger broiling in her dark eyes, "Tell me how it is then, Small Fry. Because from here it looks like you're living the <em>good</em> <em>life</em> with the 1% while the rest of us <em>scour for scraps</em>."</p><p>"I didn't do it for money—"</p><p>"Nah, the money was just an added bonus, huh?" She scoffed. "You took <em>everything</em> from people like me."</p><p>I turned to face her as well, "<em>Hey</em>, I was a part of that '<em>people</em>'. The Ring,<em> the Pit</em>, it was a <em>shitshow</em>. Boss needed to go down. I tried to get you and the others out of the way before SHIELD swooped in but—"</p><p>"But nothing." Hammer Head said and I could hear the sting of betrayal in her voice. "The Ring was all people like us had. We don't have the skills to make it in the real world, so we earn our keep by beating the shit out of each other every other night." She let out a humorless laugh and motioned to herself, "You think the pink wig was a style choice? I swore I'd never go back to stripping and now thanks to you…"</p><p>It felt like I was going to be sick again, but this time it was from guilt.</p><p>"If you hadn't had Tony fucking Stark waiting in the wings for you, you'd be just like the rest of us. Scrambling in the streets looking for a way to make enough money so you don't starve."</p><p>She wasn't wrong. If the Ring had fallen before I ever met Clint or Natasha I would've just been an out of job fighter. I had a college degree, but what the fuck would I be able to do with that? If the Avengers hadn't taken me in, I'd literally be living in the streets.</p><p>"Why don't you leave?" I asked. "DC has a decent sized ring, I hear, and anyone would be better than Boss."</p><p>That's probably what I would've done. As pathetic as it sounds, I would've licked my wounds and then crawled to the next ring desperate for another fix. Hammer Head shook her head, her burning anger simmering some, "My family is here. Sister and niece. It's why I'm stripping on a Saturday morning."</p><p>"They hurting?"</p><p>"They're doing decent enough. Brother in law is a good guy, good job, but…" Hammer Head shrugged, "My niece is a smart kid. <em>Wicked</em> smart. She goes to one of those fancy ass private science schools here in the city. Got a scholarship and everything, but it doesn't cover the full cost." She crossed her arms and I clenched my jaw. Hammer Head had talked about her niece to me before. She was infinitely proud of the kid. "I usually send them some of my fight money to help pay for it. That's not happening now though."</p><p>I leaned back against the wall, "I'm sorry."</p><p>"I know." Hammer Head shrugged. "I just wished that meant something."</p><p>It was silent for a beat before I nudged her with my elbow, "How come you're sitting in a drunk tank instead of stripping right now?"</p><p>Hammer Head smirked, "Handsy, pathetic loser grabbed my ass. I warned him once. The second time he did it I broke his arm." I laughed with her. "Workplace called the cops on me and now hear I am."</p><p>"He ain't pressing charges?"</p><p>"If he did he'd have to explain to his wife how a stripper broke his arm on a Saturday morning." She replied and I laughed again. Our old comradery kept things from feeling awkward, but things still felt wrong. Our favorite jokes had been the ones mocking the rich idiots who ran our lives. It was our little rebellion. Now though, I felt like an outsider. I might never really be a part of the world of dry cleaning, brunch, and business meetings, but I also was no longer an underground, illegal fighter.</p><p>I felt kind of like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Except I was a wolf that the others wolves had shunned and kicked out and now I was desperately trying to get the sheep to welcome me in, to <em>love</em> me.</p><p>"You need to watch out for others like Kyle."</p><p>I snapped back into focus, "What do you mean?"</p><p>"Last I heard on the street, Boss put a hit on your head." Hammer Head shrugged. "<em>$500,000</em> for the person who<em> cuts out your tongu</em>e."</p><p>"Aw, how sweet of him."</p><p>Hammer Head shook her head, "I'm serious. We're all desperate for that payday, but there are some who would love the money and <em>love</em> the chance to kill you. You escaped to the real world, but you left <em>a lot</em> of enemies behind."</p><p>She had a very good point. I hadn't actually thought about it before, but I should've known Boss would pull some shit like this. Having various people wanting to kill me didn't feel very new though.</p><p>"What's your sister's name?" I asked, changing the direction of the conversation.</p><p>Hammer Head stiffened, "<em>Why</em>?"</p><p>She hadn't been the only person in the ring who had family or loved ones. I knew how protective people like her were over them. So much so that they never spoke their name, never gave others the chance to use their loved ones against them.</p><p>"I can't help everyone." I shrugged then motioned between the two of us, "But I'm gonna make this right. It's the least I can do. You've helped me out over the years."</p><p>After my first marathon fight, when I was nothing but a bloody pulp leaning against a basement wall with tears running down my face it had been Hammer Head who stopped to clean my wounds. She took me out for food and told me to never let anyone in that ring see me cry.</p><p>"I don't need your charity." Hammer Head said, but the way her voice quivered told me otherwise. Accepting things like this wasn't exactly in either of our natures, but as I was kind of starting to learn… sometimes you needed an outside hand to pick you up. I shook my head and gave her an expectant look. Finally, she whispered, "Amber Jones. She's in Queens. Married to Brandon Jones."</p><p>I nodded once, "I'll handle it. I promise."</p><p>Hammer Head pressed her lips together, collecting herself, then lifted her left arm up with the elbow bent. I smirked and used my right to bump our forearms together. It was a greeting allies in the Ring did. We sat there for another half hour talking about old times before she shook her head at me.</p><p>"I gotta ask this." She grinned impishly at me. I motioned for her to go on, and go on she did, "Is Stark a good fuck?" I burst into loud laughter. In fact, if Tony had been around to see me laugh like this at the question he probably would've bitched at me for hours. Hammer Head shook her head, "Shit, is he <em>bad</em>?"</p><p>"I don't know!" I scoffed. "I'm just his assistant. I <em>baby sit</em> him during the week and make sure he shows up to his meetings and doesn't <em>starve</em> to death. I'm a glorified <em>nanny</em>."</p><p>Hammer Head rolled her eyes, "You <em>dumb</em> bitch. You had a chance to get Stark in bed and you chose to be his <em>assistant</em>?"</p><p>"Ok, no, no, no." I held my hand up. "I'm going to clarify this right now. I <em>never</em> had the opportunity to '<em>get him in bed'</em>, he's dating Pepper Potts still, and even if I <em>had</em> that opportunity I would've said<em> 'hell to the no'</em>." She scoffed again and I shrugged. "Stark isn't my type. You know that. I'm a sucker for big, broad shoulders."</p><p>Hammer Head nodded once before tilting her head, "Captain America has some nice shoulders, doesn't he?" Yes, he very much did, and at the involuntary thought answering that question I felt my face heat up. I was not supposed to be thinking about my new friend's very nice shoulders. Hammer Head hit me in the arm, "Holy shit, you're <em>fucking</em> Captain America!?"</p><p>"Will you <em>stop</em> that!?" I cried, the heat still there, "I am fucking <em>no</em> Avengers."</p><p>Not a sentence I thought I 'd say today, but ok.</p><p>"You're <em>so</em> boring." Hammer Head huffed. "There's not a single Avenger I wouldn't fuck and you have the opportunity—"</p><p>"Stop with the opportunity thing, ther<em>e is no</em> opportunity!"</p><p>There was a beat of silence between us where she just bobbed her head up and down. Hammer Head opened her mouth, "So if you're not fucking any of them—"</p><p>"Are we still on this topic?"</p><p>"Then whose jacket are you wearing?" She pulled at the collar a bit, "It definitely isn't yours."</p><p>I hadn't expected the question, and it threw me off. After a second I shook my head, "It, uh, it's Bucky's."</p><p>"Who the <em>hell</em> is Bucky?" Hammer Head scoffed.</p><p>I grinned, "A really good man. <em>The best</em>. Saved my life, literally."</p><p>Hammer Head raised an eyebrow at me with a smirk, "He cute?"</p><p>I winked, "Shoulders like you <em>would not believe</em>."</p><p>Hammer Head and I started talking about my other clothes which lead me to telling her about Black Widow who was both fun and terrifying rolled up in a model's body. In total I think about 45 minutes passed before a familiar voice called down the hall to me. Hammer Head looked to me curiously and I just sighed.</p><p>Tony Stark stepped into view, standing on the other side of the cell door, with a stern frown. He pointed at me, "You are in big trouble, sunshine."</p><p>Hammer Head raised her eyes twice at me suggestively and I just quietly told her to stop. She stood up suddenly, while the officer finally caught up to Tony to open the door, and I stood curiously.</p><p>"What we gonna hug or something?" I asked. Hammer Head smirked and I groaned. Fair was fair, and the move I made was more than deserving of our usual punishment. I motioned toward myself, "Go at it."</p><p>"Go at <em>what</em>?" Tony snapped.</p><p>Hammer Head moved quick and before I knew it her fist slammed into the right side of my face making me stumble. Tony yelled something else and I squeezed my eyes together to try and make the sting disappear faster.</p><p>"<em>Shit</em>, I always forget you're a <em>southpaw</em>." She lifted her left arm to flex her bicep and I smirked at the familiar tattoo of a hammer head shark on the inside of her arm. The cell door opened, and I moved to leave. Hammer Head cleared her throat and I gave her a nod in confirmation. I wouldn't forget about her family.</p><p>Tony had his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, "Weird brunch day, huh?"</p><p>"Very much so, yes."</p><p>The officer led us down the hallway and I walked beside Tony. Every step made me feel more and more like this was some kind of walk of shame. He had trusted me to be a part of his life and I was thanking him by forcing him to pick me up from jail. I knew I wasn't worth the effort, but moments like this still felt like a punch to the face.</p><p>"Hey, Bradshaw." I glanced to my left to see the male's drunk tank. Kyle was leaning against the bars looking like shit. His nose was still obviously broken and smudges of blood still covered his face. I narrowed my eyes at him but he continued, "You better hope the Avengers never realize their new <em>pet</em>—", he spat the word out knowing how much I hated it, "—is just a <em>feral</em> monster pretending to play nice. Otherwise you'll be out on your ass and <em>we'll</em> be there for <em>payback</em>."</p><p>Tony moved so he stood between me and the bars, "Hey, <em>Owen Wilson,</em> you attacked an employee of Stark Industries so you <em>will</em> be hearing from our lawyer, and that's me showing <em>mercy</em>."</p><p>He lightly pressed his hand to my back to edge me closer to the door. Still I could hear Kyle yell out from behind us, "<em>Nothing can tame the monster inside you</em>, <em>bitch</em>!"</p><p>Tony spoke to a few officers before leading me out the front door. I wondered how much bail had been, but the curiosity didn't last. One of Tony's flashy cars, a blue one, was parked right outside. He opened the passenger door and nodded with his head for me to get in. He still hadn't said a word to me since I left the cell. Not that I blamed him.</p><p>Kyle was right. The bloodlust in me was insatiable. Worse than just being a piece of scum who yearns for a fight, I was also a dirty snitch who fucked over a lot of people. Boss was the worst of the worst and he deserved what he got. He deserved worse than what he got, but I hadn't even taken the time to consider how my actions would affect people like Hammer Head. People like me who only had the ring.</p><p>"Whatever it is you're thinking you're <em>wrong</em>." Tony said suddenly, breaking the silence between us as he drove. I glanced at him with narrowed eyes and he met my gaze briefly. "You have that <em>self-loathing</em> look on your face. What is it?" I didn't answer and after a minute he moved on, "Who was that woman?"</p><p>Knowing he wasn't going to let me mope in silence, I spoke up without looking at him, "Hammer Head."</p><p>"Her name is <em>Hammer Head?</em>"</p><p>"Her stage name or whatever. I'm Small Fry, she's Hammer Head." I shrugged. "Because I snitched she's stuck stripping for money."</p><p>Tony shook his head, "No. Not <em>because</em> of you."</p><p>"Cause and effect. I <em>selfishly</em> wanted to s<em>ave my as</em>s—"</p><p>"<em>Selfish</em>?" Tony scoffed with a laugh, "Are you even <em>capable</em> of being selfish? <em>I</em> haven't seen it yet."</p><p>"Tony—"</p><p>He cut me off, "That ring was going down regardless. Clint and SHIELD were going to take it down on their own. You sharing more information on Boss <em>saved</em> people like Hammer Head." He shook his head. "Because of you, SHIELD knew exactly when to bust in and catch the people who <em>deserved</em> to be caught."</p><p>I leaned back in my seat letting his words rattle around in my brain. The logic of it all was there, but it didn't touch the guilt still stewing in my gut. He sighed, "Hey, I should've asked this earlier I'm sorry,<em> are you</em> <em>alright</em>? They didn't hurt you, did they?"</p><p>"Nah." I shook my head. "Kyle's all talk."</p><p>"Yeah, he seemed like he had a lot to say back there." Tony grumbled. "You know he's full of shit, right?"</p><p>I chuckled, "He's a dick, but technically speaking he's known me a <em>lot</em> longer than you."</p><p>"<em>Aj</em>—"</p><p>"I don't wanna talk anymore, Tony. Thanks for picking me up." I cut him off and thankfully he obliged my request. We sat in silence the rest of the way to the Tower and I wrapped the jacket around me tighter. The weight of the canvas material grounded me.</p><p>Tony parked the car and I didn't wait for him. I swung the door open and stepped out. There was no plan in my head, not right now, but I needed to move. If I stayed still for a second longer I was going to spontaneously combust. We got to the elevator and Tony hit the button for my floor and then the shared space up top. The elevator moved quick and if I wasn't in such a mood I would've thanked JARVIS. The doors opened and I hurried out.</p><p>"Aj." Tony called out. I glanced back to see him holding one hand against the doors. "<em>Don't run</em>."</p><p>"What?" I narrowed my eyes.</p><p>Tony held my gaze, "You're right. I haven't known you years, <em>yet</em>, but I've picked up on a thing or two. The <em>important</em> stuff." I pressed my lips together, balling my hands against my side. "I know it's your instinct to run, but we <em>want</em> you here. That <em>hasn't</em> changed. I can't tell you how many times Rhodey's had to pick <em>me</em> up from the drunk tank." Tony chuckled, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than give him a tight lipped smile. He sighed, "<em>Please</em> don't run. Can you promise me that?"</p><p>"I promise, Tony." I said softly and he gave me a smile before letting the doors close.</p><p>I felt like crying. I hadn't even known what my brain wanted, but he wasn't wrong. There was an itch at the back of my neck that told me to run. It told me to run and run and never stop. Facing emotions like this was too hard. Running was so easy. I didn't want to disappoint them again though. Not today at least.</p><p>I'd have to settle for the next best thing.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sam hurried after Steve the moment the quinjet landed. They had planned on sticking in DC a little longer, but after Natasha called him about Aj being arrested they had cut the trip short. The intel they were supposed to collect would still be there tomorrow. He hurried his pace to keep up with Steve's long gait.</p><p>"Hey, is she ok?" Steve asked as they stepped into the building. Clint and Natasha were in the living area talking and looked up at their entrance.</p><p>Clint nodded his head, "Tony picked her up about an hour and a half ago."</p><p>"Where is she?" Steve glanced around.</p><p>"Downstairs beating the shit out of one of your bags." Natasha crossed her arms. "We've checked on her a few times, but she really doesn't want to talk about it."</p><p>Sam let his eyes travel over each worried face in the room, "What happened?"</p><p>"Jackass named Kyle Osborne picked a fight with her." Clint shook his head. "They had history. I know Eugene Morgan cut him off, but I don't know what happened between Aj and him specifically."</p><p>Sam looked across the room to where Tony was moving around his lab. The music he played was loud enough that Sam could hear the muffled bass from where he stood. It was never a good sign when that happened.</p><p>"Maybe you should go down there and check on her, Steve." Clint suggested and dropped down onto the couch defeated. Natasha nodded in agreement. Apparently, everyone else had struck out.</p><p>Sam set his hand on Steve's shoulder with a clap, "I wanna go meet her."</p><p>"Are you sure?" Steve questioned.</p><p>Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, "I don't think she's in much of a '<em>meet new people'</em> kind of mood."</p><p>"Sometimes talking to a stranger is easier than someone you know." Sam shrugged and moved to the elevator. From everything he's heard about this woman from the others she had an altered view of the world and herself. It'd take talking to her to really confirm it, but his first guess was that all that trauma in her life had convinced her of some real terrible stuff.</p><p>The elevator doors open and he was greeted by pounding, loud music. Sam blinked in surprise. It was kind of like walking into Tony's lab when he was in a mood except replace AC/DC with…<em>Linkin Park</em>? That's what it sounded like at least.</p><p>He stepped into the training area and moved toward the training mats. Aj came into view. Her back was to him as she threw punch after punch into the bag. For someone who had so much fight in her, she was small. He finally understood the<em> 'Small Fry'</em> moniker. She had on a red sports bra and black spandex shorts. Sam took a step closer and despite the loud music covering his steps, Aj whipped around to look at him.</p><p>Aj's icy blue eyes widened briefly before narrowing in skepticism. Her short, brown hair was pulled into a small, low ponytail and her lips were pressed together in frustration. She dropped her arms, her hands covered in yellow boxing gloves, and the music's volume lowered via JARVIS.</p><p>"Who the <em>hell</em> are you?"</p><p>Sam chuckled and lifted a hand in greeting, "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. I'm Sam. Steve's told me a lot about you."</p><p>Recognition flashed in her eyes and her shoulders relaxed a bit. Aj nodded, "Right. I'm Aj. I, uh, I know I told Steve I'd get dinner with y'all tonight, but something came up. Maybe next time."</p><p>"No, I get it. You look busy." Sam shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it aside, "You wanna spar?"</p><p>Aj blinked in surprise, "<em>What</em>?"</p><p>"Do you wanna spar?" Sam offered her a smile. "I heard you're real good. Would love to test that for myself."</p><p>Aj hesitated, only for a second, before her lips quirked up into a small smile. Sam had a hunch the only way to get through to her was with a language he knew she spoke well. She stepped away from the bag and motioned to his right where the mat was clear of any objects.</p><p>"Now, I do need to warn you." Sam rolled his shoulders and shook his arms out, "I'm not an Avenger, but <em>I am</em> a step below Avenger and—"</p><p>Aj lunged forward with an elbow, and Sam spun out of the way at last minute. She began to circle around him, and he matched her pace. Aj grinned, "Sorry, <em>almost Avenger</em>, were you not ready?"</p><p>Sam chuckled and she lunged again. They went back and forth for a while and Sam realized no one had exaggerated her skill set at all. This wasn't like when he sparred that one time with Natasha and she immediately wiped the floor with him. He got in a few good licks. This was like he went back in time and picked a fight with a 10-year-old Natasha who he was sure could also kick his ass.</p><p>He mis-stepped and Aj caught him in the chest with a kick. The air briefly left his lungs as he hit the ground. Sam heard her laugh and he couldn't help but chuckle himself. He began to sit up when he was greeted by a bare hand. Aj stood over him with a smirk offering to help him up.</p><p>"Please tell me the Avengers didn't recruit you for your hand to hand combat skills."</p><p>Sam grabbed her hand and she pulled him up. He shook his head, "Wasn't enough that you kicked my ass, now you gotta mock me?"</p><p>"It's kind of my thing."</p><p>"And I'll have you know", Sam pointed at her, "If I had my wings this would've been a <em>whole</em> different fight."</p><p>Aj shook her head, "<em>Your wings</em>? I thought Clint was the only <em>bird</em> <em>man</em>."</p><p>"Now that's just hurtful." Sam scoffed. Aj smirked at him and pulled off her other glove. She took a few steps away before sitting down and starting to stretch. Sam left to grab two water bottles from a small fridge around the corner and tossed her one. Aj caught it with a small thanks and he sat down. "You done for the day? Already?"</p><p>Aj took a big gulp of water then chuckled, "Sparring with someone is always better than working with a bag. The bag gets repetitive. After fifteen minutes with you, I don't know…I feel a little better. More clear."</p><p>"Fighting <em>clears</em> things up for you?" Sam shook his head and leaned back on his hands, "Because all I feel is <em>wiped out</em>."</p><p>Aj shrugged and began to stretch out her shoulders, "I don't know, my thoughts get cluttered, but fighting makes it easy because then…I don't have to think." He nodded and she clicked her tongue before pointing at him. "Steve told me you did therapist work, but I just want you to know you ain't subtle."</p><p>Sam laughed, "Really? I thought I was doing pretty good."</p><p>"Nah, not at all, but you got a nice way of talking so I figured I'd stick around." Aj replied. "Plus, I wanna get along with Steve's friends."</p><p>He nodded to that and tried to shelf the curiosity of what she thought of Steve. That was for another day. One step at a time. Sam sat up a bit and tilted his head, "Does that mean I get to hear what happened today? Because I gotta say, I'm <em>real</em> damn curious." He motioned to her. "I mean, you shattered a glass against a guy's head. That brunch spot banned you, by the way, I don't know if you've heard or not."</p><p>Aj let out a loud laugh and it brightened all her features. She looked years younger with her wide grin. She shrugged, "I could've guessed it. Uh, I got in a fight today. It's what I do. Things were going too good so I had to, you know, throw a wrench into it."</p><p>She blamed herself for it. That was interesting in a pretty sad way. Sam shook his head, "From what I heard, and correct me if I'm wrong, but those two guys showed up and picked the fight with you. Not the other way around."</p><p>"Yeah, Kyle was the one who technically started it, but I didn't have to <em>enjoy</em> beating the shit out of him so much."</p><p>"You really don't like the dude, huh?"</p><p>"He's the one who introduced me to the ring." She replied nonchalantly. Sam made note of that and he knew that was only gonna make the people upstairs hate this dude that much more. "We were friends though until he stole $25,000 from Boss and then pinned it on me." Sam sucked in a sharp breath and she chuckled with a small nod. "Yeah, whatever you're picturing is exactly what happened."</p><p>Sam pressed his lips together, "I'm sorry that happened."</p><p>"Me too." Aj shrugged and pulled her knees into her chest so she could rest her chin on them, "He showed up at that brunch place to ask me for money and then when I told him I wouldn't give him Stark's cash he wanted to take me into an alley and cut out my tongue or something."</p><p>"<em>What</em>?" Sam cried in surprise.</p><p>Aj chuckled, "I don't know if that's what he <em>actually</em> planned I just heard from a friend that Boss is offering $500,000 to the person who cuts out my tongue." She gave me a one-handed finger gun and winked. "So, if you're <em>ever</em> short on cash…"</p><p>Sam shook his head, "I think I'll turn to selling my plasma to Red Cross first, but thanks."</p><p>Aj's smile softened and she wrapped her hands around her legs making herself as small as possible. It was a comfort thing. The poor girl was touch starved. He could see it like a neon sign above her head. Sam would guess the only real touch she ever got ended up in pain and when something like that happens the person tended to avoid touch by any means possible. They'd close in on themselves, seek their own comfort, and avoid making real connections with people.</p><p>"Nobody is upset with you." Sam said. "You know that, right?"</p><p>"I know, but they should be. It's almost worse that they're not." She scoffed and set her gaze on a spot on the floor between them. "I didn't even make it a <em>month</em> without screwing up."</p><p>"Aj, you <em>didn't</em> screw up."</p><p>Her arms tightened around herself slightly, "Dude, I was <em>arrested</em> today. This life they keep offering me", she motioned to the room around her with a sad smile, "I'm <em>not</em> worth it. I know this. I've known this my <em>entire</em> life, I've done some real shitty things and nobody's ever stuck around, but they don't seem to get that and I <em>can't handle</em> them figuring this out slowly. It'll only be more painful for me."</p><p>Sam sighed in disappointment. He had been right and that was kind of a bummer. All that trauma had twisted this poor woman's head into a pretzel. There was only so many times somebody could be told that they were worthless before they started to believe it. The worst part was it would take nearly an equal amount of time telling her she was worth it before she'd ever really begin to believe it.</p><p>"That's some bad news." Sam bobbed his head. "Are you going to be the one to tell Natasha and Clint and Tony and Bruce and even Steve that they<em> don't deserve this life</em>."</p><p>"W—<em>What</em>?"</p><p>Sam shrugged, "They do some really great stuff now. Save the world kinda shit, but they don't have clean hands. Each of them have done things that they wish they could take back, that they wish they hadn't done. Are they worthless?"</p><p>"<em>Of course not</em>. But it's <em>different</em>—"</p><p>"<em>No, </em>it<em> isn't</em>. We <em>all</em> have our sins, Aj." Sam said firmly. "We <em>all</em> work to better ourselves though. That's what separates us from people like Boss and Kyle."</p><p>Aj shook her head, "Look what I did today, I don't know if I<em> can</em> better myself."</p><p>Sam smiled at her, "You had a little slip up is what it sounds like. Healing isn't a linear climb. There's up and downs, but you <em>care</em> enough to <em>feel</em> about it. You <em>care</em> enough to <em>want</em> to better yourself and that makes <em>all the difference</em>."</p><p>She shifted in place awkwardly, but he could see her absorbing his words. That's all he could really ask for. Sam reached forward to lightly place his hand on her elbow. Aj stiffened for a second before slowly relaxing. He chuckled, "Let them comfort you. Seek it out. You <em>deserve</em> it, Aj."</p><p>Aj let out a sigh before smirking at him, "Is this why Steve keeps you around?"</p><p>"Probably. This and he <em>really</em> likes being a <em>dick</em> to me when we run in the mornings." Sam stood up and offered her his hand. Aj took it and he pulled her up. "Still up for dinner tonight? I promise not to use my therapy mumbo jumbo on you."</p><p>"Deal." She replied and scooped up her gloves and water bottle.</p><p>Sam lightly elbowed her in the side, "Also, can you please go upstairs and let the crew know that you're ok. Tony's blasting music in his lab, Clint and Natasha are about a second away from murdering Kyle, and Steve is really worried."</p><p>"I think I'm kinda ok with them murdering Kyle." She mumbled as they moved to the elevator. "I just can't believe they told Steve. That's <em>so</em> embarrassing. Y'all were busy in DC and you came<em> all this way</em>—"</p><p>"Hey, hey, hey." Sam held a hand up to stop her. "They care, they <em>want</em> to comfort, and you <em>deserve</em> it. <em>You're worth it</em>."</p><p>The elevator took them back up to the penthouse and he could see Aj fidgeting beside him nervously. She still had on only her workout clothes and didn't even have shoes on her bare feet. She looked lighter than when he had first seen her at least. The doors opened and Steve was the first thing they saw. His eyes widened in a mix of surprise and concern.</p><p>"<em>Hey</em>…" He said softly.</p><p>Sam glanced around but didn't see either spy, "Aw man, are we too late? Tell me they didn't go to kill someone."</p><p>"No, they're in the kitchen." Steve pointed, his eyes not leaving Aj. "How do you…Are you ok?"</p><p>Aj ignored his words, sucked in a sharp breath, and then crossed the space between them and reaching up to pull Steve into a hug. It took Steve a moment before he wrapped his arms around her in return, awkwardly trying not to let his hands touch any of her bare skin. His eyes darted to Sam questioningly and Sam just winked and gave him a thumbs up. Steve's face flushed red as he narrowed his eyes back at him.</p><p>She pulled back, giving him a pat on chest, then moved to the kitchen. Sam walked up to Steve with a smirk. Steve shook his head, "You <em>actually</em> pulled it off."</p><p>"I can't believe you doubted me." Sam crossed his arms. His smile faltered. "I see what you mean. She's <em>good</em>. I can see it in her, but…your girl needs some help."</p><p>Steve shook his head, "She's not my—what do you mean? Is she ok?"</p><p>"All that trauma left a mark. She heals quick or whatever, but…" Sam glanced over at the kitchen where Aj stepped out and then immediately moved to the stairs to get to Tony's lab. He watched her slide in and a second later the muffled music went silent. "She needs you guys a <em>lot</em> more than she even realizes."</p><p>Aj and Tony talked for about a minute before she stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. It would take a while before she fully believed her own worth, but this was a very good step in the right direction. If someone as touch starved as she seemed was willing to break that barrier like this… It told Sam that she was <em>strong</em>. He saw soldiers in the same mental and emotional state as her all the time. Tony tilted his head and said something making her laugh and lightly punch him in the side with a shake of her head.</p><p>Sam smiled to himself. She was going to be just fine.</p><p>"Why are you so sweaty?" Steve questioned. "Did you <em>spar</em> with her?"</p><p>"It was a good ice breaker."</p><p>"She win?"</p><p>"That—<em>That is not relevant</em>."</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Oh I Can So Just Sit Here and Cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heads up, this is kind of where I start messing with canon a little. More so than I have been, at least. I'm incorporating Agents of SHIELD in this since the MCU never roped them in and I love them lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>“Little sisters can be a pain, but the big sister heroine worship can’t be beat.” –Allison M. Lee</em>
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<p>As it turns out, what I apparently needed all these years was just a good therapist. Who would’ve guessed? I mean, I probably should’ve been able to considering I had the mental and emotional stability of <em>a half-eaten bagel</em>. Then again though, admitting I needed a therapist was step one of a recovery plan that I had <em>no</em> plans to enact until I met the Avengers.</p>
<p>The rest of the weekend had gone shockingly fantastic. Sam was a lot of fun to talk to even when he wasn’t giving me sage wisdom about my shit poor coping skills. I had dinner with him and Steve on Saturday night, even the others had eventually joined us, and when Bruce finally showed up I got to be the one to tell him I spent my morning in mini jail. He took the news like a champ, zero fazing whatsoever, but he <em>was</em> the most patient one out of this crew and dealing with the nonsense he did I bet my nonsense was low on the list. I’d work on that. At the end of the night though, Sam pulled me into a hug, that I only stiffened at for a few seconds mind you, and then offered me one more piece of advice.</p>
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  <em>‘Reach out to them and let them reach out to you. It’ll help.’</em>
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<p>It sounded a bit like fortune cookie advice, but I was in no place to be doubting his therapy tactics. So, I did. That very night when we got back to the Tower and Clint asked if I wanted to watch a movie I tested the fortune cookie mumbo jumbo. Clint had put on some trash <em>‘B-list’</em> movie and when I came back from getting popcorn I forced myself to sit right next to him. Clint didn’t even bat an eye or comment on it. He just grabbed some popcorn. Then halfway through the movie when I stiffly let my head rest on his shoulder all he did was wrap his around my own shoulders and laugh at the shitty acting on the screen. It had felt weird, wrong almost, but after a minute that faded, and it just felt <em>nice</em>.</p>
<p>It felt so nice that I nearly wanted to cry.</p>
<p>All of Sunday, I did the same thing. I tested the waters. I’d touch Tony’s back when I went to bring him coffee, stretched my legs across Steve’s lap when we watched our show, let Natasha play with my hair after she showed me the boots and clothes she bought me, and stood elbow to elbow with Bruce while we went over his lecture schedule for the week. I figured it would take a while, maybe <em>months</em> before the shock of it wore off, but by 2 PM of <em>that day</em> they were reaching back out to me and I <em>liked</em> it. My body didn’t just not flinch, it <em>craved</em> attention. It was as if my body suddenly realized we were <em>drowning</em> and began to cling to any shred of rope to save us.</p>
<p>The last time I had been touched and loved it was… well, technically it was <em>Bucky</em>. Holding his hand felt right. If he hadn’t let go of me himself I don’t think I ever would’ve pulled my hand away. Before that though, the last time I didn’t hate the hands that touched me was back when I was in high school. Nearly a decade of not having someone to comfort me through touch had left me <em>hollow</em>, but all it took was a single day of the Avengers friendly touches and warm smiles and jokes to begin filling that void in my chest.</p>
<p>Boss’ acidic voice would leech into my brain and whisper how pathetic I was. That I was weak for leaning on these people who I had only known for a month. A <em>pitiful, sad whore</em> who sought after comfort like a child reaching out to its family. The voice would call me sick and worthless and a <em>burden</em>, but then Tony would squeeze my shoulder or Clint would wrap his arm around me or Bruce would touch my arm and the voice would disappear.</p>
<p>I stared into the mirror at myself wondering what was different. It was Monday morning and I was getting ready for work and something about me felt off. Not in a bad way though. My cheeks were fuller and had color, but I guessed that was from a consistent food source and heating that actually worked. My hair looked healthy and soft, but again that was only because I was taking showers everyday now. I lifted my fingers to touch the scar on my cheek under my eye. The <em>souvenir</em> Helga had left me. Truly, I thought I’d hate it every time I looked in the mirror, but I actually didn’t mind it. The scar had been the price to my new life. I couldn’t bring myself to hate that.</p>
<p>Quickly, I pulled myself away from the mirror and straightened the odd dress Natasha gotten for me over the weekend. I still hadn’t even worn every item I had in my closet and she was already bringing me new things. The dress was navy blue and kind of looked like an oversized blazer with the collars on the neckline. One side was pulled tight over the other and was tied at my waist on the left in a small bow and the sleeves were three-quarters. A very nice dress I was sure, and Natasha definitely knew more about style than me so I wasn’t questioning her by any means, it just looked kinda odd. She did tell me I had to wear the dress with real heels though and that wasn’t my favorite part.</p>
<p>I grabbed a pair of black heels with a red bottom and hurried to the elevator with them in my hand, “JARVIS can you take me to wherever Tony is?”</p>
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  <em>“Of course. Sir is currently in the lab.”</em>
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<p>“How long has he been in there?” I questioned.</p>
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  <em>“He did not go to bed last night, Ms. Bradshaw.”</em>
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<p>I groaned and slipped the monstrous heels on before pulling out my phone to adjust Tony’s schedule. He needed sleep and him going to his first meeting without it was kind of a waste of time anyways. Besides, the most important meeting he had today was after lunch. I shifted his meetings to different days, sending apologies to the business people I was bumping off today’s schedule, leaving Tony’s morning open.</p>
<p>The doors opened and I walked out without looking up. My feet took me to the lab on auto pilot and after I was done sending the last email, I tossed my phone into my bag and swung the lab door open.</p>
<p>“<em>You</em> told me you were going to bed at <em>11</em>.” I called out.</p>
<p>Tony glanced over his shoulder with a lopsided grin, “I grew out of my curfew a few years ago.”</p>
<p>“<em>Hardly</em>.” I rolled my eyes and walked closer. I set my hand on his arm forcing him to stop moving it on whatever he was doing. “What are you working on?”</p>
<p>“Iron Legion stuff. Ran into a hiccup last night so I needed to adjust some things.”</p>
<p>“Well, I cancelled your meetings this morning.”</p>
<p>Tony leaned his head back in a sigh of relief before looking back to me, “You’re the best nanny ever. I could <em>kiss</em> you right now.”</p>
<p>“Resist.” I replied dryly and he chuckled. “The meeting after lunch is unavoidable though. You sleep this morning, eat, and then you’re going to the meeting at 1. <em>Deal</em>?” Tony pulled his arm away from me to hold up a pinky with a smirk. I chuckled to myself before looping my pinky with his. “I need to run an errand this morning anyways so this kind of works out.”</p>
<p>Tony pointed to me, “A <em>you</em> errand or a <em>me</em> errand?”</p>
<p>“I promised a…<em>friend</em> that I’d pay her family a visit.” I shrugged and Tony turned to lean his back against his lab counter. “It’s gonna take me a bit to ride the train out to Queens and then find—”</p>
<p>Tony waved his hands in front of me, “Whoa, whoa, ride <em>the train??”</em></p>
<p>“That <em>is</em> how us <em>peasants</em> travel.” I cocked an eyebrow up at him.</p>
<p>“Just take one of my cars.”</p>
<p>“I could, and I <em>thought</em> about it, but…” I crossed my arms, “I already got arrested this weekend I really didn’t want to get pulled over and arrested <em>again</em> for not having a valid driver’s license.”</p>
<p>Tony just blinked at me for a moment before shaking his head, “<em>You don’t have a driver’s license?? </em>Do you even know <em>how</em> to drive??”</p>
<p>“Of course, I know how to drive.” I scoffed. “I just let my license expire a few years ago and never got it renewed.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“Well it seemed a little pointless since I didn’t even <em>own</em> a car.”</p>
<p>Tony shook his finger at me, “I can’t <em>believe</em> you were going to let me <em>buy</em> you a Jeep and you don’t even have your license!”</p>
<p>“No, no. I’m not <em>letting you</em> do anything.” I argued back. “In fact, I keep telling you repeatedly to <em>not</em> buy me a Jeep.”</p>
<p>Tony ignored me and set some things away in front of him before beginning to leave, “Well easy enough, I’ll just drive you—”</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>.” I looped my arm through his and yanked him back. “<em>You</em> are going to <em>bed</em>. Remember our pinky promise?”</p>
<p>Tony groaned but relented after a second, “What about the Spy Kids?”</p>
<p>“Clint and Nat already left.”</p>
<p>“Jolly Green Giant?”</p>
<p>“It’s his meditation hour.”</p>
<p>“Capsicle?”</p>
<p>I shook my head with a chuckle, “Steve already left for DC. He has to work today because I interrupted the mission or whatever on Saturday.”</p>
<p>Tony hummed in thought and anytime I opened my mouth to try and suggest I just take the train he cut me off. The door of the lab behind us swung open and we both turned to look at who arrived. It was a face I didn’t recognize, and I wondered who he was to have clearance to this level of the Tower and Tony’s lab.</p>
<p>“<em>Agent</em>. Just in time. <em>Weirdly</em> so, actually. Do you have this room bugged?” Tony questioned.</p>
<p>The agent stepped in with a tired look. He was older than me, maybe a little older than Tony, with brown hair styled professionally and a bit of a receding hairline. He had calm blue eyes that surveyed the room and despite being an Agent of SHIELD he looked friendly. He smiled at Tony in greeting and I made the mental note that he looked like the kind of guy you’d bump into at the grocery store and enjoy making friendly small talk with.</p>
<p>“I was here for a meeting, but then it was cancelled.” Agent replied.</p>
<p>Tony looked to me and the agent’s eyes followed his, “You <em>cancelled</em> a <em>SHIELD meeting</em>?”</p>
<p>I glanced from Tony to agent back and forth before shrugging, “Ok, in my defense, it wasn’t labeled SHIELD or anything. It just said something about defense and Pepper told me the only meeting she <em>100% </em>needed you at today was the one with the board after lunch.” I glanced back to the agent sheepishly, “<em>Sorry</em>.”</p>
<p>“No, <em>don’t</em> apologize.” Tony wrapped his arm around me with a grin, “I’m just <em>stupid</em> impressed. You cancelled a meeting with <em>SHIELD</em>!” Tony looked to the agent and pointed to me. “She’s the <em>best</em> nanny in the world. Let’s me stay up <em>all</em> night playing video games and then in the morning doesn’t even make me go to school.”</p>
<p>I shifted my weight awkwardly and mumbled, “<em>I think that makes me the worst</em>.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine.” The agent smiled at me. “It technically wasn’t SHIELD business. I was just hoping to talk to Stark.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, Mary Poppins says I have to go to bed now or I don’t get a spoonful of sugar.” Tony shrugged and let me go to start walking towards the agent. He clapped the guy on the shoulder with a grin before looking back at me, “Aj this is Agent. Agent this is Aj. Agent, <em>Aj</em> was the kid we picked up from an illegal fighting ring and she needs a ride to Queens. Aj, <em>Agent</em> is a good guy who was <em>shived</em> by a Norse God and then <em>lied</em> to us about being dead for a few months.” There was a beat of silence where Agent and I just stared at Tony in confusion and exhaustion. Tony nodded his head, “Alright, I’ll see you at 1, sunshine.”</p>
<p>Then Tony strode out of the lab as if he didn’t leave the two of us with questions upon questions. I shook my head to try and snap out of the daze, “You know Tony Stark pretty well, right?” Agent nodded and I smiled. “Good. That means I don’t have to apologize for him being him.”</p>
<p>Agent chuckled and walked over to me offering his hand in greeting, “My name is Phil Coulson. You can just call me Coulson, most do.”</p>
<p>“I was wondering what kind of parents would name their kid Agent.” I shook his head with a nod. “I’m Aj Bradshaw. So, did you really get shived by a Norse God and pretend die?”</p>
<p>“Oh no, I actually <em>did</em> die.” Coulson replied. “Long story. I was actually hoping to meet and talk to you. You said you need to go to Queens?”</p>
<p>I blinked in surprise, “Uh, yeah. You wanted to talk to <em>me</em>?”</p>
<p>Coulson moved to the door and held it open for me with a smile. I hurried to walk through and then he led me over to the elevators. He hit the button for the ground floor then stuck his hands into his pockets, “Clint talks about you all the time.”</p>
<p>“Oh, right.” I nodded. “Well if he said good things they’re <em>all</em> true and if he said <em>bad</em> things, well…they’re probably <em>also</em> true.”</p>
<p>Coulson chuckled, “Where are you heading in Queens?”</p>
<p>“Meeting with a friend’s family.” I replied and opened my purse to make sure the envelope I put in there was still actually there. “You really don’t have to drive me. I’m happy taking the train, Tony is just…”</p>
<p>“<em>Tony</em>?”</p>
<p>“Yupp.” I nodded and the doors opened.</p>
<p>Coulson lead me across the lobby and outside. The cold air bit at my skin and I mentally wished I had grabbed my coat. Luckily, his car wasn’t too far away. I was expecting a black government SUV, but instead I was greeted by a flashy red convertible with the cloth top pulled up. It was an older car based on the style, but nice all the same.</p>
<p>“Meet Lola.” Coulson smiled and held the passenger door open for me.</p>
<p>“<em>Hello</em>, Lola.” I greeted and slid into the comfortable seat.</p>
<p>Coulson came around and got in himself then immediately turned on the heat. I mumbled a thanks and told him the address. He pulled away from the curb and we sat in silence for a beat before he spoke up, “I saw the fight you were in. In Moscow.”</p>
<p>“You did?” I asked with wide eyes. “How?”</p>
<p>“Rescuing you was technically a SHIELD sanctioned mission so there was a report and in the report was the video.” He replied. I nodded understandingly. That made sense. I kind of wished I could burn that video into nothingness though. It wasn’t my greatest moment and video evidence of me <em>courting death</em> was less than ideal. “You fight very well.”</p>
<p>“So I hear.”</p>
<p>“Can I ask who taught you?” Coulson questioned.</p>
<p>I hesitated. This was an agent of SHIELD, sure, and I was buddy-buddy with two others, but I still didn’t actually know this guy. He knew Clint and Natasha though and probably the other Avengers. Plus, Tony had trusted this guy enough to leave me with him. That meant I could at least offer him the amount of trust I offered Sam. Besides, talking about the history of my fighting lessons wasn’t <em>too</em> bad of a story.</p>
<p>“I was an athletic kid. Softball, volleyball, soccer.” I shrugged. “I started Tae Kwon Do when I was a little kid because that’s what parents do to energetic kids, you know? They stick ‘em in a class like that. I liked it though, and the guy who was teaching me, I don’t remember his name since I wasn’t there long, told my parents that I had potential and suggested I go to the class next door.” I pulled out my phone when I felt it vibrate but it was just an email to Tony. “Anyways, the class next door was <em>actually</em> a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. He almost didn’t take me because I was like <em>eight</em>, but he relented and I learned.”</p>
<p>“<em>Brazilian Jiu Jitsu</em> at <em>eight</em>? You had the focus to learn at that age?”</p>
<p>I laughed, “I didn’t have focus for <em>anything</em> at that age, and he taught me little things, but I really liked it. It was fun, and since it was fun I never considered it learning. It was just me and a new sport.” It was weird that a small town like mine even had people to teach me these fighting styles, but I figured it was since we were an hour or so from a military base. A lot of those guys liked retiring to our town. “When I was ten, Paulo, my BJJ instructor, introduced me to a friend of his. His name was Daniel and he taught me Krav Maga. It was not long after my mom had died so I <em>really</em> threw myself into it. Coping method, you know?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry to hear that. I could see a little of that in your fighting style though.” Coulson nodded. “Especially against the Russian woman.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, neither of those styles are great for ring matches, but at the end there I got a little…<em>desperate</em>.” I shrugged. “They come in handy when I get pinned down by my bigger opponents which is pretty much <em>everyone</em> I fight, and I use them a lot when I get attacked outside of the ring. Boss liked the matches to last longer so I just stuck to mostly kickboxing.”</p>
<p>Coulson glanced over at me when he stopped at a light, “When did you learn kickboxing?”</p>
<p>I had to think for a minute. Kickboxing had started literally months before Dad bailed on me and Aubrey. It was why I had thrown myself into it so damn hard. I was starting to see a trend, “Twelve? <em>Ish</em>. I worked in a real gym with real sparring matches until I was fourteen.”</p>
<p>“What happened at fourteen?”</p>
<p>Aubrey had left. She had turned eighteen and I thought our lives were going to change for the better. She could take us out of foster care, we could get jobs, and survive together like we had the past two years in foster homes. Instead, she met a guy, got pregnant, and just <em>left</em>.</p>
<p>Aubrey had her own new life and it didn’t involve me apparently.</p>
<p>I could still remember the night she said goodbye. I could remember sobbing in my shitty foster home room <em>completely</em> alone for the first time in my life. Before then, even after Mom died and Dad left, I <em>still</em> had Aubrey. I had my <em>big sister</em> and I gave her <em>everything</em>. I never let the world touch her. Bullies, trauma, shitty foster parents… I protected fragile Aubrey with every part of me, and what I got for it was just <em>more</em>abandonment. It was in that moment, crying hysterically until my chest hurt and the foster parents had to come upstairs to bitch at me to stop <em>wailing</em>, that I started to think maybe the problem was <em>me</em>. Dad left, Aubrey left, I got kicked out of foster home after foster home. The only consistent factor in every situation was me. That had to mean something.</p>
<p>“Aj?”</p>
<p>I snapped my gaze to Coulson and realized I had heard his question but hadn’t said anything out loud. Quickly, I cleared my throat, “Sorry. Um, fourteen was when I started fighting in rings. There was a small one outside my town and I’d go there to fight. It’s where I learned the rest of what I know. Nothing like a ‘<em>no rules’ </em>underground fight to teach you the real deal.”</p>
<p>Coulson nodded in agreement, “You’re not wrong. Did you fight for money?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” I lied easily. The money hadn’t mattered to me. There was nothing I wanted that it could buy. I had been an angry fourteen-year-old, bitter at the world, and all I wanted was to pound my fist into something until my mind was empty. Nothing distracted from emotional pain quite like physical pain did. “Then of course I aged out of the system, came up here for college, and after college I started fighting for Boss. There was a…<em>trial period</em> where I had to pick up new tricks. The fighters here are <em>much</em> better than the ones where I came from.” The learning curve had cost me a lot of blood. “But it only made me stronger or whatever that party line is.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Coulson said sincerely.</p>
<p>I glanced over at him to see a sadness in his eyes and I quickly shook my head trying to lighten the mood. I didn’t need a guy I barely knew pitying me, “Nat told me she was gonna start sparring with me in the gym after she gets back from the mission she’s on right now. I’m excited.”</p>
<p>“You’re <em>excited</em>?” Coulson pressed. “That’s not how most people who go up against her feel.”</p>
<p>“She’s the best I know, right now.” I shrugged. “The only way to be the best is to get your ass kicked by the best.</p>
<p>“Again”, Coulson chuckled, “<em>Not</em> a common belief.”</p>
<p>I shifted in my seat and turned to him, “Tell me about you. I wanna hear more about this <em>shivving</em>. As long as talking about it isn't too traumatic for you, that is.”</p>
<p>Coulson shook his head with a smile, “His name was Loki and <em>apparently</em> he’s the god of mischief or something along those lines…”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The room around him was busy. The baristas behind the counter rushed about trying to fill as many coffee orders as they could, shouting to one another so none of them collided. Every table in the tiny, family owned shop was filled. A family to his left was talking about their next vacation. A man two tables away briskly argued through his phone while typing on his computer. To his right, a couple leaned over their drinks to whisper loving words to one another, the world around them nothing but background noise. Then even closer, a man sitting at the table in front of him flipped through a magazine casually.</p>
<p>Sitting here quietly, slowly taking sips from the drink in front of him, made Bucky feel <em>normal</em>. He had on a jacket he had stolen from a clothesline and one black glove so his metal arm was fully covered. Bucky also had grabbed a plain baseball cap to wear on his head just because it made him feel a little better. A little more incognito.</p>
<p>Right now, he was in Alexandria, Romania. The larger city made it easier for him to blend in, but it wasn’t so large that he’d have to worry about eyes on him. Bucky brought the coffee to his lips and closed his eyes and let the Romanian conversations wash over him. He took in a steadying breath and felt momentarily at peace. He was just a normal man having coffee before he got his day started.</p>
<p>A month had passed since he almost bumped into Steve. He wasn’t ready for that kind of meeting yet. Bucky wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready. To look into his best friend’s and see distrust would hurt. To look into Steve’s eyes and see <em>forgiveness</em> would feel even <em>worse</em>. Bucky had <em>70 years</em> of sins to atone for and he wasn’t sure <em>anything</em> could make up for all the poison he brought into the world. All the <em>lives</em> he had taken. His hand tightened around the mug and he forced himself to stop before he accidentally broke it.</p>
<p>The man at the table in front of him answered his phone then stood up from the table. Bucky watched as he gathered his items and began to leave. Right before he passed, Bucky’s eyes landed on a familiar face on the magazine.</p>
<p>“<em>Wait</em>.” Bucky said in Romanian, reaching out with his gloved hand to stop the man. He curiously looked down on Bucky. “Are you done with that magazine?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Help yourself.” He shrugged and left the magazine in Bucky’s hand before leaving.</p>
<p>Bucky set it down onto the table, sitting up in his seat, and just stared. Right there in the corner of the front cover was Tony Stark. That was hardly news. The man was nearly always on some kind of magazine or newspaper. What caught Bucky’s eye was the face pasted beside him. He knew those burning blue eyes and that fearless grin.</p>
<p>He flipped open to the page where the article was and was greeted by a much larger picture. The article was talking about how the two lovers had been spotted strolling down the street running errands together. Bucky felt uncomfortable reading about it and rubbed the back of his neck. It was <em>stupid</em> to feel uncomfortable. Why <em>wouldn’t</em> Stark want to be with her? The dame was a catch. He wondered if Tony was as much of a ladies’ man as <em>Howard</em>—</p>
<p>Bucky ended that line of thought before his mind could fall down that rabbit hole.</p>
<p>He sucked in a sharp breath and focused on the picture. Bucky didn’t want to think about Tony or Tony’s family or <em>anything</em> currently taking residence in his mind. So… he focused on the details. Aj looked <em>good</em>. She looked <em>healthy</em>. The last time he saw her she looked so broken and sad. He could still hear her pleading to come with him and it made his chest ache with betrayal. He had no choice though. He <em>had</em> to leave her.</p>
<p>Her hair was a little longer than he remembered, and she had bangs. Aj was mid-step beside Tony, grinning and pointing at him without looking in the billionaire’s direction. Bucky hadn’t been entirely sure what she looked like. He knew she <em>felt</em> pretty. The way she made him feel and laugh, the way she so easily distracted him from the skeletons haunting his mind. She felt like the <em>greatest damn dame</em> he had ever met. Bucky hadn’t been sure he could feel normal again, but her wide blue eyes looking at him like a <em>real</em> person, like he was a hero, God, it gave him hope. It may have been <em>false</em> hope, but the feeling of it felt good all the same.</p>
<p>Still, despite all that, he hadn’t actually <em>seen</em> her. Aj’s face had been busted and swollen. Her skin marred with dried blood and bruises. Seeing her now? It shocked him. Bucky probably wouldn’t have even recognized her if it hadn’t been for those eyes. Aj was pretty, <em>beautiful</em> even, and Bucky felt guilty thinking that. He didn’t deserve that line of thought and tried to shove it to the back of his head. She was with Tony. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it made it easier to push his own thoughts away.</p>
<p>She had on light colored jeans that were cuffed up a bit at the ankles so they didn’t touch her gray boots. A black shirt was tucked into the jeans and the forest green jacket—Bucky felt his heart stutter in his chest. He recognized that canvas jacket. It used to belong to him. There were no splotches of blood on it anymore, but it was the <em>same</em> jacket. He could tell because just like before, when she wore her ‘<em>Captain America get-up’</em> as she so lovingly called it, the jacket engulfed her entirely.</p>
<p>Bucky felt his lips twitch up in a smile.</p>
<p>A woman came by asking if he was done with his glass, breaking his train of thought. He nodded, thanked her, and then she left as quickly as she had come. Bucky glanced back down at the magazine and quickly shut it. He rose to his feet, ready to leave, but hesitated. A part of him wanted to take the magazine with him. Tuck those good feelings into his back pocket.</p>
<p>Bucky shook his head and turned to leave the small coffee shop, the magazine resting on the table for the next person to come by and see it. He had known the Avengers would take care of her. Bucky <em>knew</em> that Steve would look after her. A whisper of doubt in the back of his mind had always nagged him though. What if he hadn’t been quick enough? What if the pneumonia had progressed too far? What if her skull fracture had been much worse than they both guessed? Fear that he had played a hand in her death by not acting swiftly enough gnawed at him, but now it was gone. Aj was <em>safe</em>. Aj was <em>healthy</em>. Aj was <em>happy</em>.</p>
<p>Now that he knew that officially, he could let her go.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The address took us to a house rather than an apartment. It wasn’t anything fancy and was an older house based on the build, but it was a <em>home</em>. There was a small garden against the house with lawn ornaments. A sprinkler in the lawn and a white rocking chair on the porch. The mat in front of the door read ‘<em>Hello</em>!’ in a cursive font and the wreath on the door was already Christmas themed. I just stood on the porch for a second taking it in. Places like this were filled with <em>so much love</em>. It reminded me of my own childhood home. How Mom could make that 2-bedroom, tiny thing feel like a <em>castle</em>.</p>
<p>Coulson was sitting in his car waiting on the curb and was probably wondering why I was just standing here in the cold like an idiot. I sucked in a sharp breath and knocked on the door a few times. A song-like voice called back, muffled by the door, but a few seconds later a familiar face greeted me.</p>
<p>It was Hammer Head.</p>
<p>But it also wasn’t.</p>
<p>It was Hammer Head’s features, but she looked softer. A little more weight around her face and eyes that hadn’t been hardened by the ring. Her dark hair was curled around her pretty face and she wore an apron over her clothes.</p>
<p>“Hello?” She questioned.</p>
<p>I shook my head, “Sorry, I just—” Hammer Head hadn’t mentioned her sister had been her <em>twin</em>. “I’m a friend of…your sister.”</p>
<p>“You know Angela?” Amber Morgan asked. I nodded and her smile brightened, “I’m Amber! Why don’t you come in? You must be freezing out there.” She pulled me into her house and the warm smell of cookies knocked the chill off me. “Have a seat! Do you want anything to drink?”</p>
<p>“Oh, um, I’m ok. Thank you.” I smiled and sat down on the older couch.</p>
<p>Amber nodded, “I’m pulling some cookies out of the oven. Give me a minute?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” I said quickly and Amber disappeared behind a wall. The home was as cute inside as I figured it’d be. Family pictures hung on the wall and little things like vases of flowers or knick knacks sat on surfaces around me.</p>
<p>After a few minutes, Amber came back without her apron and with a plate of warm cookies. She set it down on the coffee table in front of me and then sat in the smaller couch on the other side of the table. She offered me a warm smile, “I never caught your name.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m Aj.” I greeted with a small wave. “Sorry for just barging in like this.”</p>
<p>“Nonsense.” Amber waved off my apology, “I don’t get to meet many of Angela’s friends. What strip club did you meet her in?”</p>
<p>I blinked in shock before slowly shaking my head, “Oh? <em>Oh</em>! No, I’m <em>not</em> a stripper.” She apologized to me this time and I laughed. “No, it’s fine! I don’t have the <em>temperament</em> for a job like that. Um, I actually know Angela from her… <em>other</em> job?”</p>
<p>I wondered if Amber even knew what her sister did, but after a second I watched as this warm woman stiffened with wide eyes. Fear replaced the welcoming and I felt so guilty for causing that kind of reaction in her own home.</p>
<p>“Please, I mean you no harm<em>, I swear</em>.” I held my hands out in surrender. “The fighting ring was disbanded actually, and Angela asked me to come by and check on you guys.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Amber’s shoulders relaxed some, but not all the way. “I haven’t heard from Angela in a while actually. Sometimes she disappears though so I just thought…Is she alright?”</p>
<p>I nodded, “She’s fine. Just looking for new work.”</p>
<p>“Can I ask why she asked you to check up on us?” Amber questioned.</p>
<p>I dug down into my purse and pulled out the envelope, “I told her I’d give you this.”</p>
<p>Angela took the thick envelope and her eyes widened when she opened it, “Oh my goodness.” It was really hilarious to me to see Hammer Head’s face saying <em>‘Oh my goodness’</em> but I bit back a laugh. “This is…She <em>never</em> sends this much. <em>How</em>?”</p>
<p>I could see the worry in her eyes, and I shook my head, “She isn't doing anything bad or dangerous—<em>er</em>, well any more than her usual at least. The money is from me.”</p>
<p>“<em>Wh—What?”</em> Amber’s eyes widened. “<em>No</em>, I <em>can’t</em> accept this.”</p>
<p>She tried to shove the envelope back to me, but I refused to take it back, “That’s actually just the first payment. I plan on sending y’all money every month, but I figured it’d be weird if I didn’t come and meet you the first time.”</p>
<p>“Send <em>more</em>?” She gasped. “This is <em>way too much</em>.”</p>
<p>“Ham—um, <em>Angela</em> loves you guys. She loves her niece more than the <em>world</em>. That was one thing I could count on when we were in the ring. She’d have a mean left hook waiting for me and a new story about how proud she was of her baby niece.” I said softly and Amber’s eyes began to tear up. “I made some mistakes, but she was there in some of my darkest moments and…now that I’m in a good place, I just wanna repay that favor. I hope that’s enough for her school and more.”</p>
<p>Amber covered her mouth for a moment before nodding, “It’s <em>more</em> than enough.”</p>
<p>Now I understood why Tony threw money at people. This felt good. Taking care of someone who so obviously deserved it and more. I had never been a big fan of money. I could see what it could do to people. The greed and violence it dragged out of humans made them monstrous, but Tony had found a way to rise above that. I had worried about what I would do with the money I got from my new job as his PA. He paid me <em>way</em> too much. I liked this though. Spending the money on others. I <em>really</em> liked this.</p>
<p>“I plan on sending $2500 a month, but if you ever need more <em>please</em> tell me.” I said.</p>
<p>“This really is—”</p>
<p>“It isn't.” I shook my head with a smile. “And I’m happy to give it. The money is doing no good sitting in my bank account and I’m not really a very big spender.”</p>
<p>Amber set the cash down and hurried around the table I stood just in time for her to wrap me up in a hug. I forced my body to relax and returned the hug with a small smile. She pulled away after a moment and wiped the tears from her eyes.</p>
<p>“Brandon just left for work. I wish he would’ve been here, I want him to meet you.” Amber pressed.</p>
<p>I chuckled, “It’s fine. Maybe next time.”</p>
<p>“Yes, <em>please</em>.” She said firmly and grabbed my hand. “You need to come over for dinner sometime. It isn’t much, but I want to repay you somehow.”</p>
<p>“Food is my absolute favorite thing so I promise you it’s more than enough.” I replied. She pulled me into another tight hug again surprising me, “Oh, ok. More hugs. You are not like your sister at all, you know?”</p>
<p>Amber laughed and pulled away, “We get that a lot. Angela’s always been stronger than me. She’s taken care of me my whole life. She doesn’t come around often anymore, I think she’s ashamed, but if you see her can you tell her I love her? And that I don’t care about anything? I just want her to come home.”</p>
<p>Her words felt like an arrow through my heart. This was what sisters were supposed to be like right? I gave her a tight smile and nodded, “Yeah. I will.”</p>
<p>“You should meet Michelle while you’re here.” Amber turned and called out, “<em>Michelle</em>?” She was greeted by silence and shook her head. “She’s probably still asleep. The kids have today off from school since it’s a teachers’ work day, let me go wake her—”</p>
<p>“Don’t, it’s fine.” I reassured her. “I’ll just meet her when I come over for dinner sometime, huh?”</p>
<p>Amber and I exchanged numbers and then she filled two things of Tupperware with her homemade cookies which I was sure the Avengers were going to absolutely demolish. Then she even gave me one of her coats. I fought her on that one saying I had plenty of coats at home, but she hit me back with the <em>‘you can return it next time we see you’</em> and I had to relent. I said another round of good-byes and left out the front door as she began to call her husband.</p>
<p>“So, you know my aunt?”</p>
<p>I glanced to the right where the rocking chair was now occupied by a kid. She was an older kid, probably fifteen at the most, and her thick wavy, light brown hair was pulled back into a low, messy bun. It was funny. Amber had the exact same features as Hammer Head, but I couldn’t see a single aspect of my friend in her face. This girl on the other hand... She had one leg resting on the chair and the other stretched out to the banner in front of her, a notebook open in her lap. A bored look of nonchalance on her face and a curiously raised eyebrow. God, she reminded me of Hammer Head.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I do.” I nodded. “She talks about you all the time, kid.”</p>
<p>Michelle, if I remembered her name right, nodded, “I haven’t see her in a long time.”</p>
<p>I sighed, “She’s…busy these days, but she does love you. Don’t forget that, ok? I think she’d kick my ass if I didn’t tell you that.” My eyes widened. “<em>Shit</em>, I shouldn’t curse in front of you. I mean, dam—<em>dang nabbit.”</em></p>
<p>“Dang-nabbit?” The girl smirked and again I was reminded of my friend.</p>
<p>I chuckled, “Hey, that’s a common saying where I’m from, <em>thanks</em>.”</p>
<p>“What’s your name?”</p>
<p>“Aj.” I gave her a smile. She laughed at that and I tilted my head, “What’s so funny?”</p>
<p>“My name is Mj.” She replied. I chuckled with her on that. Her name was Michelle, but she went by Mj the same way my name was Aimee, but I went by Aj. She motioned to the road, “Your friend looks really distressed about something.”</p>
<p>I glanced over at Lola to see Coulson talking on the phone with a frown then slowly looked back to her, “Yeah, he’s got a high stress job.” I moved toward the porch steps not wanting him to wait much longer but turned to point at her. “Hey, stay in school and make good grades or whatever. I’m involved in your education now and since your aunt isn't here to watch you I’m filling in. I <em>will</em> come back to annoy you, and I can be <em>very</em>annoying.”</p>
<p>Mj smirked, “Yeah, yeah, thanks, Aj.”</p>
<p>I gave the kid a wink before hurrying toward the car. Coulson glanced my way, gave me a tight-lipped smile, and then as I slid into the car he hung up his phone. I gave him a once over, “You good, man? My new friend Mj said you looked distressed.”</p>
<p>“The kid?” Coulson pulled away from the house, “Yeah, I thought I saw her drawing me. You finish your errand?”</p>
<p>“Yupp.” I popped my lips and then smiled to myself. This hardly made up for the shit I’ve done in my life, but it was a very good start in my own, humble opinion.</p>
<p>It didn’t take super long for Coulson to get me back to the Tower and the entire way we made small talk about random things. He asked me a few more questions about myself, I was realizing that it was just in an agent’s nature to be nosy, and I asked him to give me an embarrassing story about Clint to use against him. Coulson obliged and told me about a mission in Sicily where his pajama pants got snagged onto something mid-fight and were ripped clean off. Those bad guys then had the pleasure of fighting a bare ass naked Hawkeye since they had caught him right before he was about to go to bed. When Coulson arrived on scene as back-up he was greeted by a grinning Natasha and pouting Clint with a towel wrapped around his waist.</p>
<p>I tucked that story away about my disaster of a human being friend and swore I’d put it to good use one day. After saying goodbye to Coulson and apologizing again for cancelling his meeting, I climbed out of the car and hurried toward the tower. The jacket Amber had given me was nice, but it didn’t block the cold very well. Plus, it didn’t help that my bare legs were exposed. Maybe I should start wearing the stockings Natasha bought me.</p>
<p>In my hurry to get inside, my left side heel got caught in something and snapped off the shoe sending me concrete floor with a dignified ‘<em>oof’</em>. “Motherfu…” I mumbled under my breath then glared at the broken heel. Nothing good came from these freaking high heels. The moment I got back inside I was going to ask Tony to incinerate them via Iron Man repulsor.</p>
<p>With a huff, I shifted and brought my legs under me careful that I didn’t flash anyone out here with my dress. My right knee was scuffed up and the left was bleeding a little. While I mentally groaned in annoyance, I felt someone walk over to me. I glanced up to see two familiar women. I didn’t know their names, but I knew they worked somewhere in the Tower as receptionists. Sometimes, I’d run past them in the halls, but I hadn’t stopped to introduce myself. To be honest, they looked kind of bitchy. The brunette had a face that looked permanently pinched in displeasure and her Asian friend never seemed to smile.</p>
<p>That was rude of me though.</p>
<p>I shouldn’t judge by the cover.</p>
<p>“Did whatever <em>hole</em> you crawled out of not teach you to walk in heels?”</p>
<p>Ok, maybe my judging was spot on.</p>
<p>The brunette was smirking at me while the other woman snickered in amusement. Huh, I guess she did smile. It was just at other people’s misery. She turned to the brunette with a smirk, “Maybe she <em>is</em> sleeping with Mr. Stark. There’s no way she’s actually qualified for her job.”</p>
<p>I scooped up my purse filled with cookies and then stood up with determination. My intimidation factor was cut down a little since I was standing lopsided with one good heel and one broken one. This wasn’t the first time I dealt with assholes like them, but it was shocking that I had to deal with it here. I mean, <em>Jesus</em>, they were smirking at me like the cliché mean girls of a teen rom-com. With narrowed eyes, I opened my mouth to retaliate but instead I felt someone suddenly wrap an around my waist helping me stand stable.</p>
<p>“Trisha, Ashely.” Natasha greeted with a sickening, sweet smile, “It’s <em>so</em> nice to see you girls! After that <em>obviously</em> botched nose job, Trish, I <em>never</em> thought you’d show your face in public again. That’s <em>so</em> brave of you.” The brunette lifted her hand to cover her nose with a bright red blush. Natasha dragged her sharp eyes to the other woman, “And Ashely, I heard about your breakup with Brian from HR, how you cheated on him with his brother. Honestly, I’m sure it was <em>all</em> Brian’s fault with how busy he keeps himself volunteering at the Children’s hospital. You deserved better, right?”</p>
<p>I blinked in shock as both girls mumbled a response before hurrying off. Natasha had sent them packing without even a bat of her eyes. I looked to her in awe, “You’re a <em>goddess</em>.” The redhead chuckled and grabbed the heel of my broken shoe. I stepped out of both shoes so I could just walk barefoot. “Thanks, Nat. You really didn’t have to.”</p>
<p>“Of course I did.” Natasha shrugged then raised an eyebrow mockingly, “What are big sisters for?”</p>
<p>I felt my breath catch in my throat. She was joking. I knew she was. Clint was my weirdo adopted father based on <em>animal adoption</em> paperwork, but I wasn’t the first person he adopted. Natasha had been. So, I knew that with those words she was just kidding around with me, but hearing it after what she just did for me felt very differently. Natasha walked me inside talking about how the mission ended early because Clint got the date wrong and while she said her full story I could only stare at her in awe.</p>
<p>Is that what having an older sister was like? Even when Aubrey was around and our relationship was good, it was always me who had to play the older sister. I took care of her and when bullies rolled up to our doors it was me who batted them away with words and fists. Hell, I couldn’t even count how many fights I had gotten into because someone had been teasing Aubrey about something or another, but those were our roles. I didn’t get protected, I was the protector.</p>
<p>“Aj?” Natasha asked and my mind focused back on her. We were standing in the elevator, “I asked if you wanted to do a little sparring with me tonight?”</p>
<p>I would not cry in this elevator in front of Natasha.</p>
<p>
  <em>I would not cry in this elevator in front of Natasha.</em>
</p>
<p>I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave her a broad smile, “I’d really, <em>really</em> like that, Nat.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. It's an 'I' in Happiness, Not a 'Y'</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: So this might be the last update for a couple weeks. Gotta focus on some school stuff, but as soon as that's over I'll have nothing to do EXCEPT write and I am so excited for that. Again, thanks to anyone reading and a standing ovation to those who leave me comments (you're my only source of serotonin).</p>
<p>[Also do you guys want my face claims for like Aj and the other original ones? I was gonna put pictures of them sometimes at the top of the chapter like I do, but I know some people don't like seeing the face claims????? Idk help pls.]</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
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<p>
  <em>"Rest your head here, pull me closer</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'll hold you tight while you let go, girl</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And I could love you if you just let me</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Be the one you, be the one you need, oh."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>—Brett Eldredge (The One You Need)</em>
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<p> </p>
<p>The rest of the week and the next were kind of a blur and it was probably because for the first time in this job I was actually swamped. Pepper had emailed me details about the first gala I was supposed to organize. It'd be on the Monday of Thanksgiving week which meant I had a total of three weeks to plan it since November had already arrived. According to Pepper this would be an easier gala since there was no one to woo or impress. This was simply a gala where they could thank investors and partners of Stark Industries for their work and money. Essentially, I was just planning a giant party.</p>
<p>"Thank you <em>so</em> much again." I hung up with the caterers and marked them off the list I made of people I needed to touch base with to make sure they knew the plans. The gala was in six days and I was stressing a little. Or a lot. I just wanted this to be perfect. The greatest gala to ever be held. I was basically setting myself up for failure with standards like that, but I was <em>determined</em> not to screw this up.</p>
<p>"Hey, Aj." Bruce called from across the room. Tony had been done with meetings for the day, only having a half day since I worked in lab time for him in the afternoon, so I was in my lounge clothes sitting at the large dining table in the shared workspace. All my gala plans were set out in front of me. I wasn't ashamed to admit I gave Tony dedicated lab time because it meant I could work on this uninterrupted. Bruce came over and set his hand on my shoulder as he glanced at the pages in front of me, "I was going to ask if you were busy, but I guess this answers my questions."</p>
<p>I laughed and used my other hand to pat his own, "Nah, sit down, what's up?"</p>
<p>"I just wanted to let you know who I had coming for Thanksgiving dinner. Tony told me you were making a list of guests to keep up with so you knew how much food to order and things like that." Bruce sat down with a shrug. I sat in my seat like a deer in headlights. Bruce called my name again before waving his hand in front of my face, then he sighed, "Tony told us that, but didn't tell you. That makes a lot of sense actually."</p>
<p>"I'm going to murder him." I shook my head. "I am going to <em>throttle</em> that man with my bare hands."</p>
<p>Bruce chuckled, "I won't stop you."</p>
<p>I groaned and rubbed at my face, "Will you please tell me what's happening?"</p>
<p>"Tony wants to have a big Thanksgiving dinner. We had one last year and now he wants to make it an annual thing." Bruce explained. "It's Avengers plus family. He has catering come in with the food and we just spend time together. One, big, <em>really weird</em> family."</p>
<p>I chuckled and pulled out my Stark Pad, opening a new document, "Alright, who're you bringing, big man?"</p>
<p>"I just have one guest. Her name is Betty Ross." Bruce said and I wrote his name and her name down. "She's actually coming in for the gala too. I'm excited for you to meet her."</p>
<p>I gave him a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, "So she's the girl, huh?"</p>
<p>"Yes. She's the girl Tony doesn't stop making fun of me about." Bruce chuckled.</p>
<p>"Well, I got it down." I grinned. "If you head up to the lab can you tell Tony to come down here? I'm gonna make him walk to his own death because I don't feel like getting up."</p>
<p>Bruce laughed and gave my head a small pat before leaving. I sighed and glanced down at the watch on my wrist. It was only 12:30 which meant I still had time. Tonight, I was going over to Amber's place for dinner again and I was supposed to be there by 5:30, but I still had food to make. Last time I had told her I'd bring something because I didn't want to come empty handed again, and she said she was excited to see what I made. I had been planning on buying something at the store, but now I felt like I had to make it myself.</p>
<p>That should be interesting.</p>
<p>Tony must have come down from the lab in the opposite direction because he was now coming out of the kitchen toward me with two warm mugs. He gave me a big grin and set mine in front of me. He pointed to it, "It's that blend you really like. The one from Guatemala with the hints of orange. I even put in your brown sugar."</p>
<p>"Bringing me the perfect cup of coffee will <em>not</em> save you." I said then pulled the mug into my hands, "But it <em>will</em> prolong your life for a few minutes."</p>
<p>Tony quickly sat down, "I could've <em>swore</em> I told you about Turkey Day plans."</p>
<p>"You absolutely did not." I countered and wrote his name on my Stark Pad.</p>
<p>He pointed to it, "Uh, you spelled my name wrong. It's <em>T-O-N-Y</em> Stark, not <em>I-D-I-O-T</em> Stark." I raised an eyebrow at him, and he took a sip of his coffee then nodded, "But I guess that's an arguable point. My list is easy. I'm bringing Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy."</p>
<p>"Aw, I finally get to meet Rhodey and Happy?" I asked. So far all I knew about them came from stories and the stories Tony told were usually embellished and exaggerated. Tony pulled out his phone then sent out a text. My own phone buzzed, and I narrowed my eyes in confusion on why he would text me, but when I glanced at it I saw he had texted the group chat about their own guests.</p>
<p>"Who are you bringing, sunflower?" Tony questioned.</p>
<p>I bit back a small smile. I had only grown closer to the people around me, but moments like this where they just assumed I'd be part of the '<em>Avengers plus family'</em> gathering made my stomach flip. I shook my head, "Um, maybe Amber and her family? Could I do that? I'm really getting close to them so…"</p>
<p>Tony waved his hand, "Course you can." I wrote down their names. "I kind of meant, family wise though. You got anyone coming up from sweet home Alabama?"</p>
<p>"Uh, no." I answered softly then picked up my phone when it buzzed again. Clint and Natasha were bringing Phil Coulson, who I hadn't seen since he took me to Queens, and someone named Maria Hill. Then Clint added that Coulson might bring his kids. "Coulson has kids?"</p>
<p>Tony chuckled, "Yeah. A whole bundle of them. They're usually running missions though." I blinked then realized the children were just more agents. "If he comes he'll definitely bring Skye, probably Fitzsimmons? Melinda May, but she's less kid and more '<em>scary</em> <em>mom'</em>. I really don't know though. I don't get SHIELD details about whatever the hell they're doing."</p>
<p>"I didn't understand any of that, so I'll just put <em>'+4'</em> by Coulson's name just in case." I replied and Tony gave me a thumbs up. Steve finally texted back and he said he was just bringing Sam. It made me feel really thankful that I had grown close enough to Amber's family to invite them. Otherwise, I'd be the loser with no one to bring. "Is Thor coming? I still <em>really</em> wanna meet the guy."</p>
<p>Tony motioned to himself, "<em>Why</em>? You've already met all the <em>cool</em> Avengers."</p>
<p>"Have you <em>seen</em> his arms? That's reason enough to want to meet him."</p>
<p>He rolled his eyes in good nature then added, "No idea. We really don't get a warning when he shows back up. If he does come though he'll be bringing Jane and Darcy."</p>
<p>I tilted my head, "Those do <em>not</em> sound like Norse names?"</p>
<p>"They're not." Tony chuckled, "Jane Foster is his girlfriend and Darcy is Jane's friend. I've met them once. The last Turkey Day. Darcy is fun, you'll like her. She matched me shot for shot that night."</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus</em>…" I mumbled and wrote down their names. "Ok, I got what I needed from you. Begone."</p>
<p>Tony gasped, "Just like that? You don't wanna hang out with me?"</p>
<p>I leaned against the table with a smirk, "I could always find some meetings for you to attend if you're really that bored."</p>
<p>Tony was gone a half second later and I chuckled to myself before going back to work. Now, I had <em>two </em>parties to plan. Yay.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Natasha knew that Clint was talking to her right now, but she also knew he was going off on wild tangents because he was in a mood. She shifted in the couch she sat on. Her legs hung over one of the armrests while she leaned against the other. Clint was sitting on the couch in front of her messing with some of his arrows while ranting.</p>
<p>A snap popped up on her phone screen and she smirked when she read it was from Aj. The woman had said she hadn't ever really used snapchat. Probably because her phone used to be from the dark ages. Now though, she was getting pretty good at it. Natasha opened the snap to see Aj standing in front of her bedroom full length mirror, her phone covering half her face. She had on a pair of black yoga pants and an oversized gray tank top. Aj held her other hand up in a peace sign and the caption read, <em>'This is my baking pie outfit also how tf do you bake a pie'.</em></p>
<p>Aj's hair had grown out to a little past her shoulders and her bangs had grown out as well. She hadn't been kidding when she said her hair grew fast.</p>
<p>"Hey." Natasha turned the phone around to show Clint. He stopped ranting to look at it and his lips twitched up in amusement but fell again. She rolled her eyes and let the picture fade. Natasha took a picture of Clint pouting and sent it back to her.</p>
<p>Clint scoffed, "You're not even listening."</p>
<p>"You're stressing over something you don't need to be stressing about right now."</p>
<p>"Because it's stressful!" Clint replied sharply and Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise at his tone. He mumbled an apology under his breath before going back to his arrows with a line of frustration drawn between his eyebrows. Natasha set her phone down on the table then crossed the space to sit beside him. She set on hand on his forearm, forcing him to be still, and he let out a sigh, "I didn't mean to snap. I really didn't, Tasha."</p>
<p>She nodded, "I know you didn't." Natasha squeezed his arm. "Is this about what Coulson was talking to us about last week?"</p>
<p>"Skye is <em>gone</em>. Coulson can't find her still and…" Clint shook his head once, "Whatever group that took her or that she went with, <em>however it happened</em>, they're collecting inhumans."</p>
<p>"We don't know for sure that Aj is inhuman."</p>
<p>"No, we don't, but you <em>heard</em> what Coulson said." Clint replied. "<em>They don't care</em>. None of these assholes on the board do. This group that runs '<em>Afterlife'</em>, von Strucker, some other Hydra goon—<em>they don't care</em>. Inhumans are suddenly the new weapon everyone wants their hands on." He tossed the arrow in his hand onto the table and then leaned back in his seat. "They'll take her, put her through terrigenesis, and then either they get their new weapon or they sweep away the pile of dust she becomes."</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head at him, "Clint, she <em>isn't</em> going to end up like Agent Triplett."</p>
<p>"You said it yourself." He let his eyes drift over to her. "<em>We don't know</em>."</p>
<p>"Maybe not." Natasha leaned back in her own seat and rested her head on his shoulder. After a second, he sighed and wrapped his arm around her. Clint leaned his head on top of hers and Natasha smiled. "One thing we do know, is that we won't give anyone the chance to even try. Coulson warned us and now we know to keep an eye out."</p>
<p>"One of von Strucker's shithead goons—"</p>
<p>"HYDRA could be back in town for a number of reasons." Natasha argued. "And intel showed it was only two of them. They were probably just trying to spy on the Avengers. Nobody knows Aj's potential other than us. Her file is safe with the new SHIELD."</p>
<p>Clint still didn't seem convinced. Natasha could still feel the tension in his entire body. She knew, better than most, the kind of responsibility that the archer put on his own shoulders. Clint was a goofy train wreck that was addicted to caffeine and had a penchant for getting thrown into dumpsters, but he was also a strong, loyal, protective agent who would lay his own life down before he let anyone put a hand on the people he took care of.</p>
<p>Natasha was glad he had pulled Aj into their world. Her paranoia and skepticism had evolved into an actual friendship. She didn't look at Natasha like she was the world's deadliest assassin even though she very much was. Aj looked at her like she <em>hung the stars</em>, like she was a role model of all things, and that was something Natasha never considered herself to be. There were other women in the Red Room with her, <em>sisters in arms</em>, and she had even grown close to one, but this relationship was still different. There was no sister from the Red Room that would mock Clint and Tony with her, or let her braid her hair, or learn how to snapchat to please her.</p>
<p>"<em>Nobody</em> is going to touch her, Clint." Natasha said firmly. "And you know she's better off here than where she was. She's <em>happy</em>, Clint." The red head pulled away from him to grab her phone. She swiped at the screen until she got to a photo from a few days ago. Natasha had dragged Aj out for a day of shopping and girl time and this one had been filled with fun and laughter rather than their first shopping trip which was filled with distrust and tension. Aj had taken the picture with her own phone as they walked down the street. Natasha smirked from a few steps behind her while Aj beamed at the camera with a peace sign. She held the phone out to Clint. "<em>You</em> did that. She's <em>happy</em> and that's all thanks to you, Clint. Did you ever think the closed off, brooding woman we first met in that shit hole ring would <em>ever</em> smile like that?"</p>
<p>Clint sat up to take the phone and she smirked when he began to chuckle. He shook his head, "Definitely not."</p>
<p>"You did that." Natasha repeated firmly. "And now the rest of us are going to make sure she stays happy. No one is going to touch her, Clint. No one."</p>
<p>Clint's lips turned up in a lazy smile and he leaned forward to press them against her own. She cradled his face with one hand so he couldn't pull away from her. Clint chuckled against her lips and mumbled, "Still <em>so</em>glad I didn't murder you."</p>
<p>"Yeah, that was one of your better calls, <em>lyubimiy</em>."</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>I had a weird collection of talents. Obviously, there was the fighting and mouthing off to people I probably shouldn't be mouthing off to, but I could also balance a spoon on my nose and recite the alphabet backwards and I <em>never</em> forgot a face. As I was coming to learn, baking was <em>not</em> one of those special talents. Still, I had already buried an hour into this task, and I was <em>not</em> about to let a fucking <em>pie</em> beat me.</p>
<p>I smashed the dough together again and glanced at the phone to try and figure out what I could add to this mess to make it not fall apart so easily. It was supposed to be a balance of water and flour so I went back to trying to get to the middle of both where the dough would be perfect. Mindlessly, I focused on the task at hand for the next few minutes.</p>
<p>"I didn't know you sing."</p>
<p>"<em>Shit</em>." I spun around in surprise. Steve was leaning against the open frame that led into my kitchen with an amused smile. I had been so preoccupied with being '<em>Sally Homemaker'</em> I hadn't even heard him come in. I let his words finally hit me, "I wasn't—"</p>
<p>Singing. <em>Had I been singing?</em> It had been to myself, an old habit, but it was an old habit I hadn't indulged in for a <em>very</em> long time. The shock must have been written on my face because Steve pushed off the wall and his smile fell, "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to—"</p>
<p>"No." I shook my head with a disbelieving laugh. "I was <em>singing</em>."</p>
<p>That was another one of my weird talents. It was the only thing I got from my Mom. Unfortunately for me, I took after my absentee Dad while Aubrey got most of Mom's traits. Still, the one thing I had of her was <em>her voice</em>. I could sing just like her. Some of my happiest memories were singing in the kitchen with her while she made dinner.</p>
<p>"I sing when I'm happy, it's an old habit, I didn't even think about it." I mumbled in surprise. The last few years of my life hadn't had very moments where I wanted to sing. It almost felt wrong to…like it would taint my older, happier memories if I even tried. So that gift from my mom, the only real memory I had of her, I had buried under years of bloody knuckles and bad days. It belonged in the past, to a girl I couldn't be anymore. Yet, here I was now. Baking a poor excuse for a pie and singing in the kitchen while doing it.</p>
<p>"You ok?" Steve questioned resting his hand on my elbow.</p>
<p>I laughed with a nod, "Apparently, I am." His smile slowly returned, and I shook my head then pointed at him, "Hey, do you bake? Because, <em>boy</em>, am I struggling right now."</p>
<p>Steve said he didn't bake, but two shitty bakers had to add up to a mediocre one, right? I think that's how the math worked. The two of us stood side by side as he helped me get the dough right, shaped in the pan, and then mix the filling in. He told me about his intel gathering in DC and how Sam was excited for the gala. I told him I had just found out about the Thanksgiving party today and he laughed.</p>
<p>"How did you used to spend Thanksgiving?" I asked. "You know, before all of this."</p>
<p>"I'd spend it with my mom usually. We didn't have much, but she always made sure there was something fresh on the table then." Steve replied, his smile was bittersweet, "After she passed, I usually spent it with Bucky and his family."</p>
<p>I reached out to give his wrist a quick squeeze only to leave apple filling smudged on his arm. We laughed and I quickly grabbed a rag to wipe it off, "My mom would always go big on Thanksgiving Day. Make enough food to feed an army and then invite everyone in the neighborhood to join. It was a huge block party. After she died…" Steve and I had already talked about our moms after a late night of TV shows so this wasn't news to either of us, "I didn't really do Thanksgiving anymore."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "Was she your last real Thanksgiving?"</p>
<p>"No, actually." I let out a small laugh. "Granny—er, Rosie, I mean. I call her Granny. She was the <em>last</em>foster mom I had. The only one who ever cared. She ran a good home. I did everything I could to annoy the shit out of her." Steve chuckled and I couldn't help but smile at the memory, "Literally, I'd slam doors, curse her out, sneak out to fight and crawl back bloody. Hell, the only reason I started calling her Granny was because I thought it'd bother her."</p>
<p>"But it didn't."</p>
<p>"Nope." I nodded and focused on pinching the edge of the dough around the rim of the pie plate, "Before her, I got kicked out of <em>every</em> single foster home, but she wouldn't let me push her away. Without her… I don't know. I don't think I would've graduated high school or even <em>survived</em> that long."</p>
<p>I moved to pick up the pie, but Steve beat me to it. He pulled open the oven door, the heat radiated out, and then he carefully set it on the middle rack in the center. I picked up my phone to set the timer and then started cleaning up the mess we had made. Steve spoke up, "Where is she?"</p>
<p>"Oh, she's still in Alabama." I shrugged. "She never left. After high school, I left for NYC to do college and she was…she was <em>so</em> proud. I got busy in school, stuck in my own head, and only sent her a few texts or emails every now and again. When I got accepted into medical school, I was going to invite her up to my white coat ceremony as a surprise. It happens after the first few weeks of school, but you know <em>that</em> story." I shrugged and set the dirty utensils in the sink. "Once I got back in the ring, I couldn't face her again. She worked so hard to drag me out of the ring down south and turn my life around, and I thanked her by jumping headfirst into one that was <em>worse</em>. She'd be <em>so</em> ashamed if she knew."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head with a frown, "Hey, don't think like that." He held my gaze. "If she's as great as you make her out to be then I have a feeling she wouldn't feel that way at all."</p>
<p>We moved onto a much lighter topic as we waited for the pie to bake. I knew technically I could leave the kitchen since there wasn't much I could do right now for it, but a part of me was scared that if I stepped away it would burst into flames or something. That'd be about my luck. As we reached the halfway point, I peeked into the oven to check on it again. I was like a new parent refusing to take their eyes of their newborn. Under my breath, I mumbled another song and this time I was aware enough to pick one.</p>
<p>"<em>Wait</em>." Steve shook his head, he was leaning against the counter. He had left to clean up and change into a pair of joggers and a plain shirt, but he surprised me by coming back down after he was done. "Is that…Are you singing a <em>country</em> song?"</p>
<p>I was surprised to hear the judgement in his voice and gaped at him, "<em>Hey</em>, leave my country alone. I don't make fun of your music taste and you grew up listening to <em>Jazz</em>."</p>
<p>"Jazz is <em>good</em>."</p>
<p>"So is country!" I argued then shook my head, "It gets a bad rap, and there are a lot of songs I'll admit are modernized and repetitive. I'm not crazy about the pop and country fusion, but <em>you</em> of all people should like country."</p>
<p>Steve motioned to himself, "Me? Why should I like country?"</p>
<p>"You're from the 40's!"</p>
<p>"Again, <em>wrong era</em>." Steve chuckled. It was a running gag that'd I'd name something completely from a different time and ask if he partook in it.</p>
<p>I shook my head with a laugh, "I'm not doing the bit, I'm being serious. The 40's was all about dancing, right? Swing Music and that romantic shit."</p>
<p>Steve let out a bark of laugh, "Yes. We had swing dancing and <em>that romantic shit</em>."</p>
<p>"Well, in <em>this</em> day and age, <em>old timer</em>." I pointed to him and he just grinned back at me, "Dancing has changed a bit. I don't have you pegged as the kind to break down at the club to hip hop or techno."</p>
<p>Steve's eyes widened marginally, "You're right on that. Learned from experience."</p>
<p>I snapped my fingers, "Ok, that's a story I <em>definitely</em> need to hear, but moving past it to the task at hand…Country is something you can dance to."</p>
<p>"<em>Country music</em>?" Steve chuckled. "I can dance to <em>country music?"</em></p>
<p>"Again, I don't appreciate the tone…but, <em>yes</em>. We got line dancing, which I guess is our version of swing dancing…<em>sort of."</em> I said and he raised an eyebrow at me questioningly. I stood firm in my belief, "And we <em>definitely</em> got that romantic shit."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head at me, still amused, with a smirk, "I don't think I can see myself winning a dame over via country music."</p>
<p>"Ok, is <em>that</em> what we're doing today? <em>Proving </em>your ass <em>wrong?"</em> I challenged and he motioned for me to try. I nodded in determination then grabbed his hand and began to drag him toward a clear space between the dining area and the kitchen, "JARVIS, play 'Tennessee Whiskey' by George Jones please."</p>
<p>A second later the familiar strum of a guitar filled the air and I tugged Steve toward me. His eyes widened, but I put the hand that wasn't holding mine onto my waist and then set my own onto his shoulder. Right now, I was leading since he still looked surprised at the turn of things.</p>
<p>"Do <em>not</em> question my resolve, Steven." I smirked and let us slowly sway back and forth, "I'll defend country to my last dying breath." A slow smile began to spread across his features and he readjusted the grip on my waist, pulling me closer. I could hear the chorus coming and pulled back keeping our hands connected, "<em>Spin me</em>."</p>
<p>Without warning, I spun under his arm with a laugh. He surprised me back though by releasing my hand to catch it with his other and tug me back into him with another spin. Steve caught me back in place with his hand at my waist and mine on his shoulder. Now he was leading.</p>
<p>"<em>Steve</em>, I didn't know you had <em>moves</em> like that." I joked.</p>
<p>He dipped me, making me laugh, and then brought me back up, "There's a lot you don't know about me."</p>
<p>I grinned and began to sing the chorus not able to help myself, "<em>You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey… You're as sweet, as strawberry wine… You're as warm, as a glass of brandy…Honey, I stayed stoned on your love all the time</em>."</p>
<p>"You have a nice voice." Steve commented.</p>
<p>"Thanks. My mom gave it to me." I said proudly. He spun me again, just like before, before I was pulled back into his arms. I could hear the song coming to a close, we were in the final chorus. "So, have I convinced you yet?"</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "<em>Maybe</em> I'll try to win a dame over with a country song."</p>
<p>"It's foolproof, I promise." I grinned, "But don't use this one, ok? I'll give you some others to put in your <em>repertoire</em> for <em>wooing</em> women."</p>
<p>Steve raised an eyebrow as the song ended. I stepped back from him with a smile, but he kept his hand in mine, "Why not this one?"</p>
<p>"Well <em>we</em> danced to it already, <em>dummy</em>." I replied. "That means it's ours."</p>
<p>"<em>Ours</em>? R—Right." Steve nodded once, his smile warm, "Right."</p>
<p>I squeezed his hand once before letting it go and moving back to the kitchen, "Now, come on. If my pie burned because I had to prove you wrong I'm gonna kick your ass, Captain." I could feel Steve follow after me as I continued to hum the familiar song. It had been my mom's favorite once upon a time.</p>
<p>Mentally, as I checked the pie, I went through different songs I knew to show Steve. With a good country song the man would be <em>unstoppable</em>. I almost pitied the woman he planned on wooing. Poor thing had no chance.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony had taken a break from the Iron Legion to work on a different project and apparently that was the end of the world. Bruce still stood beside him shocked from the news that he wasn't currently working on his baby.</p>
<p>"If you keep your mouth hanging open like that, you'll catch flies, Brucie Bear." Tony said without looking up from the small device in front of him. It was the same technology as the Mark XLV. He was just making it handheld size. Well, <em>watch size</em> was more accurate.</p>
<p>"You've been working on the Iron Legion <em>non-stop</em> why are you—"</p>
<p>"Aj." Tony shrugged. Bruce made a humming noise of acknowledgement and Tony glanced over his shoulder to see a smug look of amusement on his lab partner's face. "Now what?"</p>
<p>"Nothing. I just should've known." Bruce replied.</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes, "I wanna make sure the '<em>Kyle'</em> incident will never happen again."</p>
<p>Bruce raised an eyebrow at him, "She definitely won that fight. You don't want her to beat up her attackers again?"</p>
<p>"No, I want to make it <em>100 times</em> easier for her to do so." Tony countered. He stepped to the side so Bruce could see what he was working on. The man slid his glasses on and leaned forward to look the devices over. Tony reached forward and tapped the top of the hand sized band and the metal expanded outward on the model hand it rested on into the shape of a fingerless glove. It was thin metal, he couldn't make it too thick or bulky, but it was enough to give their trouble prone friend an edge.</p>
<p>Bruce nodded his head, "That's impressive, Tony."</p>
<p>"Ok, first off, <em>everything</em> I do is impressive." Tony replied and Bruce chuckled with a shake of his head. He stepped forward again to go back to working on the more complicated band of this set. "Right hand is just the glove. Something to cover her knuckles. Left hand though…"</p>
<p>Bruce blinked as he looked over the exposed metal and the wiring, "Are you installing a <em>repulsor</em>?"</p>
<p>"Tiny one, but still a big punch." Tony grinned. "There's no heat in it. It's more of a…<em>deterrent</em>. It'll knock out the issue, but it's one-time use."</p>
<p>"If you increased its overall size you could change that."</p>
<p>"Thought about it." Tony nodded, but then he shrugged, "But it'd be a little bulky for her to wear and I figure the easier it is to wear the more likely she is to <em>never</em> take it off. Plus, the plan behind this is that she isn't battling anyone. She's just giving us enough time to get there ourselves."</p>
<p>Bruce's lips twitched up into a small smile, "Need some help?"</p>
<p>"I was wondering if you came in here to be useful or just to gawk at me." Tony replied with a smirk.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Dinner with the Jones family had been a great affair. It always was. This was third time I had come over to spend time with them just because I really did love their family. Amber was a warm, motherly presence that was calming to everyone around her. Brandon, her husband who worked two jobs, was a little more on the reserved side, but he was kind and welcoming. Mj was always a blast to hang out with. The kid's humor was dry, but that was right up my alley. Tonight's dinner had a few extra guests even. Mj had brought by one of her friends from school, a kid named Peter who was <em>absolutely</em> precious, and I had brought Natasha.</p>
<p><em>Brought</em> was a strong word though.</p>
<p>It was more she offered to drive me and then invited herself in. I didn't mind it at all, and I knew the Jones family wouldn't either, but it had just been a little odd. It was like she didn't trust me to be there alone. A part of me had worried I had upset her somehow and our trust with each other had taken a hit, but she didn't act like it had so I tried not to take it personally.</p>
<p>Overall, it was a successful dinner. My pie, which hadn't burnt to a crisp in the oven, was praised endlessly and I was not ashamed to say that I preened in that attention like you wouldn't believe. I had even invited the family to the upcoming Thanksgiving Dinner, and they said they would plan for it.</p>
<p>My back slammed into the mat for the <em>ninth time</em> and I groaned, "I think you enjoy this a little too much."</p>
<p>"It's been an hour and I've only flipped you nine times. That's improvement." Natasha chuckled from above me. I rolled back to my feet with a grin. The first time she had offered to spar with me had been less a sparring match and more of me just getting tossed around the room. <em>Never</em> had I ever had my ass so thoroughly kicked before. It felt like I was a rookie again and that filled me with excitement. It meant I had a lot to learn, and I always like learning more in this arena of my life. "What did you do wrong that time?"</p>
<p>I put my hands back up and shrugged, "<em>Challenged you?"</em></p>
<p>Natasha smirked and lunged toward me again. I went on the defense trying to block every attack she threw at me. The moment she found out that defense was my weakness she said that's what we would work on first. Well actually, it went more like, I told <em>her 'Offense is the best defense'</em> and then she immediately knocked my feet out from under me so I face planted into the mat. Apparently, offense was <em>not</em> the best defense.</p>
<p>"Block quicker and place yourself in the position to counter the attack you just blocked."</p>
<p>"If you stopped moving so fast maybe I <em>coul</em>—"</p>
<p>Natasha knee me in the stomach then grabbed my arm and rolled me over her shoulder. For the tenth time, my back hit the mat. She smirked and I pointed up at her from my spot on the floor, "No need to be so smug, flipping me apparently isn't a challenge for you."</p>
<p>"You're doing well, <em>mladshiy</em>."</p>
<p>I rolled backwards over my shoulder to get back onto my feet, "If that's a Russian dig at my size I'll…" I pointed to her, "I don't know, I can't do anything but get flipped by you apparently."</p>
<p>Natasha grinned, "It's a term of endearment."</p>
<p>"That doesn't tell me if it's a dig at my size or not." I replied and she chuckled before motioning for me to get ready. I groaned, "This again?" She raised an eyebrow at me, and I huffed. "Fine."</p>
<p>I sparred with her or Clint every night, it helped my sleeping trouble since I was usually too exhausted to stare at the ceiling and have an existential crisis. They'd teach me a lot, show me tricks on how to hit harder or faster, and how to actually defend using my body rather than my face. One thing they made clear is that they <em>hated</em> how I escaped from being held down. They had seen the video where I headbutted Helga to get loose and stared at me like I was an idiot. <em>In my defense though</em>… I told them that was a move of desperation and I thought I was dead anyways so why not?</p>
<p>Then they asked me to show them how I usually get out from under an opponent.</p>
<p>Clint got on top of me and I did my usual routine of rocking him over except he did <em>not</em> go over. He just stayed in place above me looking down at me like I had just told him I used chopsticks to eat my soup. Needless to say, they were not impressed by me. Apparently, my usual move only worked because my opponents were untrained and distracted. So now they were teaching me what I should do if I have someone on top of me and I was not doing great at it.</p>
<p>"I think if I just focus on <em>never</em> getting pinned then I'm good." I suggested.</p>
<p>Her response was to lunge forward and quickly take me to the ground before I could even block the attack. I hit the floor, her on top of me, and immediately tried to do a triangle choke hold. Just like they showed me a million times, I grabbed the back of her neck with my hands, hooked my right leg over her left shoulder, then my own left leg over her right shoulder to form that deadly triangle. With teeth clenched, I yanked her downwards, turning my body to the left, and tightened my legs cutting off her blood supply.</p>
<p>Natasha wrapped her hand on my knee, pulling it back far enough to slip her left arm onto my abdomen, then grabbed my forearms and used her entire body to lift me in the air. She brought me down hard and the moment my back slammed into the floor my legs lost their grip and she was able to shove my legs to the side and bury her knee into my gut.</p>
<p>"You're dead <em>again</em>."</p>
<p>My deadly triangle hold was less deadly and more pathetic.</p>
<p>"My legs are too short for this." I groaned and she pulled me to my feet.</p>
<p>"I do fine."</p>
<p>"You have <em>two whole inches</em> on me." I argued. "<em>And</em> you're a superhero."</p>
<p>Natasha chuckled and motioned for me to start stretching, "We'll keep working on it." I stretched my shoulders then bent my body over to reach for my toes. Half the stuff Natasha tried to teach me required me to be much more flexible than I was. "It looks like you and Steve are getting close."</p>
<p>I looked up from my stretch with a grin, "Yeah, he's great, isn't he?"</p>
<p>"He is." Natasha agreed with a nod. She stretched beside me. "How great do you think he is though?"</p>
<p>"Do you want a list of his positive traits?" I chuckled with a shrug. There was a lot of things I thought were great about Steve. I mean, the bar was low when it came to the position of '<em>guy best friend'</em> since the last contender was Kyle Osbourne. As long as Steve didn't trade me out for a payday then he was doing <em>fantastic</em>. "We're trying to pick a new TV show to binge since we're caught up with the Walking Dead. I'm trying to get him to watch the Office, but he is resisting."</p>
<p>Natasha chuckled and rose to her feet. Once she was up, she offered me her hand and yanked me up too, "Is there anything there?"</p>
<p>I blinked at her in confusion. Anything there? It took me a few seconds to finally understand the question she was trying to ask me. I let out a loud laugh, "Like <em>romantically</em>?" Natasha nodded once and I immediately began to shake my head with another laugh, "Of course not! He's just a really good friend. Neither of us see it like that."</p>
<p>"Are you sure?" Natasha tilted her head. Boy was she reaching now.</p>
<p>I laughed again, "Dude, he's <em>Captain America</em>. He's like the star of <em>every</em> American's wet dream. Girls have his poster on the wall. I know this because in college I took a class with a girl who <em>legitimately</em> had his poster on her wall." I shook my head. "And me? I'm like a <em>sewer rat</em> who—"</p>
<p>Natasha grabbed my arm, tucked her body into mine, and flipped me hard. I groaned at the surprise attack, "<em>I wasn't even ready</em>."</p>
<p>"First rule, <em>always</em> be ready." Natasha said firmly. "Second rule, every time you talk shit about yourself <em>you get flipped</em>. Whether it's here in the gym or one of Tony's board rooms. I <em>will</em> put your ass on the ground."</p>
<p>I rolled back onto my feet, "Aw, come on. Half my humor is self-depreciative. What am I supposed to talk about now?"</p>
<p>"I'm sure you'll find something." She replied as we continued our walk to the elevator. Natasha was right though. I'd always find something to talk about. The trouble was in getting me to shut up. "You're gorgeous. I can name eleven men off the top of my head in this Tower who would trade a kidney to be with you."</p>
<p>I blushed and quickly began to stop her, "Give me a second to think of a response that isn't negative toward me." We got into the elevator and she crossed her arms. I nodded once, "Ok, got it, the truth is… I just don't date."</p>
<p>Natasha looked caught off guard by my answer, "You don't date? When was the last time—"</p>
<p>"A while ago." I shrugged as the doors opened on my floor. Natasha took a step forward so the doors wouldn't close. "Some people in this world just aren't meant to have that—and I <em>don't mean that as a dig to myself</em>! I just…I can't picture it, you know?"</p>
<p>Natasha rested her head against the elevator doorway, "You've been through a lot. That's understandable. I felt very similarly for most of my life…and then I met Clint. Have you considered that you just need the right person?"</p>
<p>"Maybe." I shrugged then rubbed my elbow with my opposite hand, "That's a '<em>future Aj'</em> problem. Right now, I'm focused on getting my head on straight. It's kind of a full-time job. Again, <em>not a dig at myself</em>! Just an observation."</p>
<p>She chuckled and reached out to squeeze my shoulder, "You did good tonight, and remember—" Natasha stepped back into the elevator and gave me the <em>'I'm watching you'</em> motion, "—I will not hesitate to kick your ass if I need to."</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm well aware." I laughed and the doors closed. Stretching my arms over my head again, I walked towards my bedroom to get ready for bed. Mentally, I went through the gala check list in my head and my to-do list for tomorrow. After cleaning up and slipping out of the workout clothes into a large t-shirt I had found in the closet, I crashed onto the bed. The lights cut out and I fell asleep quickly with the chorus of '<em>Tennessee Whiskey'</em> stuck in my head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. A Hoe Never Gets Cold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: So i somehow found time to finish this chapter up (aka i procrastinated with studying and did this instead b/c writing makes me happy and studying makes me wanna die), so here you go! Thanks to everyone following this story and i’d love to hear back from you guys!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.” - Chinese Proverb</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘This is an emergency. If you don’t get here ASAP I will wither away into nothing.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Dear Lord, tin man, just pay attention to the damn meeting.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Didn’t I hire you to do that??’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ll come listen to the meeting if you come deal with these gala details.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Omg stop texting me I’m trying to pay attention to my meeting. Be more professional.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes and slid my phone back into my coat pocket. The gala was tonight at 7 so I was in the process of making sure every little detail was set and ready. It was why I sent Tony to his 11 AM meeting alone. Did I trust him to actually pay attention and get work done? Absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Was I more concerned for the giant event tonight than the finance meeting? Absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I put my attention back onto my Stark Pad and went through my list for the hundredth time. I knew this was overkill, but I’d have to throw myself into a dumpster, a la Clint, if I disappointed Pepper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ms. Bradshaw, there are two visitors at the front desk asking for you.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” JARVIS spoke up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I glanced up at the announcement and then lifted my pad as if JARVIS could see me, “Can you pull security up on my Pad?” A second later I was looking at the security feed focused on the front desk. It zoomed in on my visitors, and my eyes widened when I recognized Mj and her friend Peter. “Huh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Would you like me to bring them up?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah it’s ok.” I pushed myself up from the dining table and crossed the room to get to the elevator. While walking I straightened my skirt and the shirt I had tucked into it. I had on heels today and if these broke like the ones weeks ago I was going to swear them off forever. “Take me to the lobby, J?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Certainly</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The elevator came to the first floor and I stepped out. It opened up in a back hallway that was off limits to the public. Tony built it in so the Avengers wouldn’t have to ride the elevator with John and Jane Smith to whatever floor they worked on. It was definitely convenient since it meant I mostly didn’t have to wait for the elevator ever. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded my head with a smile to a few people I passed until I was in the loud and crowded main lobby. Sal waved at me from his stand, and I gave him a quick wave back before heading to the front desk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” I called out and both kids turned to greet me. Peter, a brunet boy with a smile that could warm over even the coldest of hearts, stood beside Mj nearly bursting with energy. It was cute to see them side by side. Mj and Peter’s friendship looked a lot like what a friendship between a dog and cat would. “What’re y’all doing here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mj began to meet me halfway, “Came to deliver bad news.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shrugged, “My family and I can’t make it to Thanksgiving dinner. Apparently, we have to leave the city to meet up with my Dad’s brother or something like that. Mom was going to text you later, but she asked me to come by and tell you face to face.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” I replied with a frown. Well, that was a huge bummer. “That’s totally fine! Thanks for telling me. Shouldn’t y’all be in school though?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re on our Thanksgiving break this week!” Peter chirped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I snapped my fingers and pointed to him, “Hey, my invite to you is still open, kid. You and your family can swing by for dinner here if you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Peter asked. He turned to look at Mj then back to me. “It’s just my Aunt May and me, but I don’t know… We wouldn’t want to impose—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I waved his words off, “Nah, I’m ordering a </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> amount of food and we’d love to have y’all. Think about it, ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A part of it was just me being desperate to bring someone to this thing. No one would mock me or look down on me for showing up alone. I mean, by all counts, the Avengers were technically my family now, but it still felt weird. It still made me feel kind of like a loser to be honest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll talk to my aunt about it later!” Peter bobbed his head. Mj gave him a pointed look and he quickly shook his head. She gave him another look, the two having a silent argument, while I watched on in amusement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mj sighed and turned to me while Peter tried to interrupt, “Peter has a favor to ask.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mj, it’s fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Peter hissed in a panic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up, kid? What can I do for you?” I shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter shifted on his heels and wrapped his hands around his bookbag’s straps. Geez, this kid was adorable. I wanted to scoop him up and put him in my pocket or something. Peter cleared his throat then began to ramble quickly, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I have to write a report over break on Dr. Banner for one of my classes and—and I was wondering if I could maybe get his email from you? Just to ask a couple questions?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” I blinked in surprise and he threw his hands toward me with a shake of his head, his words returning to normal speed, “But it’s really no big deal if you can’t! I mean, I can write it </span>
  <em>
    <span>without</span>
  </em>
  <span> an interview I just thought that since I knew you then maybe it would be cool if—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kid, kid, kid.” I said quickly to cut off his ramblings. He pressed his lips together and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. Mj was snickering beside him. I could give out Bruce’s email, he really wouldn’t mind, but then I mentally went through his schedule for today. He didn’t have anything scheduled out for today since Betty’s flight was supposed to arrive at 3. “Do you wanna meet him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a huge pause of silence where Peter just stared at me. His mouth had popped open in shock and I was pretty sure he wasn’t blinking anymore. The kid might not even be </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Mj reached over to grab his chin and slowly forced his head up and down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter finally snapped out of it and his eyes widened, “Wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span>?? I can—I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>meet</span>
  </em>
  <span> him? Like really </span>
  <em>
    <span>meet</span>
  </em>
  <span> him? Like </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk</span>
  </em>
  <span> to him? </span>
  <em>
    <span>In person??</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I chuckled, “Yeah. You wanna?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my God, yes!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You coming too, Mj?” I looked at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head, “I have a few more errands to run in Manhattan for my mom.” Mj looked at Peter who was basically hyperventilating beside me, “Are you still going to go to Oscorp with me later?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah!” Peter chimed. “I’ll text you as soon as I'm done here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oscorp?” I questioned, barely recognizing the name. I knew it was some science company or something in the area. Stark Industries had a meeting with them like a week or so ago, but it was one where Stark denied the company a loan for whatever science experiment they wanted to run. “Why are you going to Oscorp?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mj shrugged, “That’s what I'm writing my report on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought it was, like, against the law to assign homework over break.” I mumbled. Poor kids. I did not miss those days at all. I shook my head and pointed to her, “Are you ok with going around the city alone? It’s a big place.” Mj quirked an eyebrow at me with a smirk and I rolled my eyes. “Ok, yeah, of course you’re fine. Just be careful, alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mj reached out to high five me and smirked, “I’ll be super-duper careful, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Auntie Aj</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roll back the sass. I’ll see you later.” I replied. She said a quick goodbye to Peter before turning on her heel and casually leaving. Honestly, I wish I had been as cool as that kid when I was her age. Instead, I had just been a ball of depression and barely concealed rage. I turned to Peter who was beaming at me. “You ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter nodded in excitement and I motioned for him to follow me. As we walked to the private elevator, I could nearly feel the kid vibrating beside me with energy. I thought it was cute that his celebrity crush and role model was Bruce Banner. He really couldn’t have picked a better guy to look up to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long have you worked for the Avengers?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, I technically work for Tony Stark, but, uh, nearly two months now? Ish?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> cool.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I chuckled as the elevator took us up, “Yeah. It kind of is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When we got to the penthouse I began to wonder if I was even allowed to bring people up here. Nobody had told me otherwise and this was kind of my living space too, but I for sure didn’t have as much claim over it as the Avengers did. JARVIS hadn’t stopped me or anything and Peter wasn’t really much of a security threat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Peter breathed as he looked around the space. It was a lot to take in. He tripped over his feet coming out of the elevator and I chuckled as he regained his balance only to immediately go back to gawking at the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I motioned for him to follow me and then led him across the floor over to the stairs leading up to the lab, “The Tower has multiple floors of lab, but this one here is kind of Tony and Bruce’s private lab? They do mostly Avenger work here.” I pulled open the door for him to walk in first. “It’s really—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My words came to a halt when I stepped into the lab behind Peter and saw Tony standing beside Bruce by the lab’s tabletop. There was an awkward pause of silence where Peter stared in awe of the two men, Bruce looked sheepish about being in the area at all, Tony looked a little fearful, and I was positive that I looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolutely</span>
  </em>
  <span> homicidal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is awkward.” Tony said before pressing his lips together and then holding his hands out. “Uh, who’s the kid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Peter breathed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I put a firm smile on my face and set my hand on Peter’s shoulder, “Peter, meet Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner. Guys, this is Peter Parker. He’s a friend of Mj.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, that girl you’ve befriended?” Tony asked and when my eyes shot to him he shook his head and then just covered his mouth with a shake of his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bruce, Peter has a report to write on you, and he asked for your email, but I figured since your schedule was clear until Betty shows up…?” I shrugged. “Maybe you could let him pick your brain? As a favor for me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bruce nodded and came toward us quickly, “I would love to.” He set his hand on Peter’s shoulder and began to drag him out, “We should go sit at the table downstairs and talk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t stay in the lab?” Peter questioned a little sadly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you don’t wanna stay in here.” Bruce replied before pulling him out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment the two of them were gone, I slowly dragged my eyes back over to Tony with a glare. He had one arm crossed over his chest, holding his elbow, as his other hand covered his mouth. We just stared at each other for a minute before he pointed to me with the hand that was covering his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The meeting was almost over anyways.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were there for </span>
  <em>
    <span>twelve minutes.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony bobbed his head, “Look, I'm so used to having you there now that without you it was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> boring. I missed you, Aj.” I crossed my arms with a narrowed glare, and he held both his hands out to me. “Would it help if I said I have a gift for you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I swear to God, if you bought me a Jeep, Tony…” I groaned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no.” He hurried over and set both his hands on my shoulder before walking me over to the lab top. The meeting this morning hadn’t been overly important, and him missing most of it probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Hopefully. “I’m saving the Jeep for Christmas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look”, Tony grabbed a box off the lab and held it out to me. I gave him a hesitant look. There was no telling what kind of expensive ass thing could be sitting in that box. Tony rolled his eyes at my hesitance and used his thumbs to pop the lid open. “I didn’t go out and buy these, I made them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” I replied. That wasn’t bad at all. I could handle homemade gifts. Inside the box were two metal rings. One looked like a watch while the other was just a band. Neither were very thick, only about an inch wide, and both were colored a familiar red and gold. “Thank…you? For these…bracelets?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony rolled his eyes and set the box down so he could grab the bands, “Hands please.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I held out both my wrists up to him. Tony yanked off the leather watch I had on to put the watch looking one on my left wrist and the other on my right. When they were on, he twisted some part of it and the bands tightened against my wrists so they sat comfortably on my skin without moving.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“These are </span>
  <em>
    <span>super</span>
  </em>
  <span> cool handcuffs.” I said slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wise ass</span>
  </em>
  <span>, listen up. You’re gonna tap the watch face twice, when the two bars pop out you’re gonna grab it and twist it so the bars line up with the band. After that just tap the band against the other and repeat. Got it?” He said. I blinked and he stared at me. Tony sighed, “Ok, so again, you’re gonna—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I waved him off, “I got it. I got it. Sort of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smirked and I flipped my hands over a few times before nodding once. Here goes nothing. I tapped the watch face twice and the digital clock disappeared. Two gold rectangle shaped things slid out of the watch face. I spun it so it lined up with the band like he said and suddenly I had metal folding out over my hand. It took a few seconds, but then I had a fingerless metal glove on my left hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” I said in awe. I flipped the hand over to see a glowing circle in my palm. “Is that an Iron Man repulsor??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not entirely. It’s an ultrasonic pulse, but a one-time thing. If you find trouble all you have to do is hyperextend your wrist and it’ll activate. Blow whoever is bothering you off their feet.” He explained. I began to move my wrist and he grabbed my hand. “One-time thing, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t set it off in our faces.” I chuckled and he sighed with a small smile. “Now tap it. We aren’t done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I grinned and tapped my left wrist against the right band. The same thing happened where metal folded out from the band over my hand into another fingerless glove, but this one didn’t have the glowing circle on my palm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That one’s just metal. I figure your right hook is dangerous enough, don’t need any fancy tech to hinder you.” Tony grinned. “Both are bulletproof, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> do not try to get shot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nobody </span>
  <em>
    <span>tries</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get shot.” I countered. With a wide grin, I flexed my hands into fists then opened them again. This was nice. This was really, really nice. I joked with a mocking squint, “Do they have to be red and gold?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony scoffed, “In case you haven’t noticed, I have a theme to work with.” He motioned to my wrists. “Twist each part here and they fold back up.” I followed his instructions and watched in amazement as they folded back up into two bands around my wrist. Tony looked at me with smug features, “Does this get me off the hook for playing hooky?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.” I replied then stepped forward to pull him into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around me and patted my back a few times. “Thanks, Tony. Seriously.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do it for the praise.” Tony shrugged and pulled back. He motioned to them again, “Really though, the idea of these gauntlets is growing on me. Might make one of my own later. Obviously with more bells and whistles, but…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I twisted my wrists in admiration again, “You know, these will actually match my dress tonight. I’m wearing red.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> the best color.” Tony shrugged and moved to look out the see-through wall, “So the kid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s Mj’s best friend. Isn’t he adorable? I wanna, like, keep him forever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See? That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> how we felt when we saw you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes, “When you saw me, I was bloody and broken.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>So</span>
  </em>
  <span> adorable.” Tony said emphatically. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have a meeting at 12:45 and I can’t baby-sit you because I need to work with the caterers.” I said and Tony groaned. I pointed at him, “If you don’t go, I will use the ultrasonic boom thing on you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a pulse, but yeah, ok.” Tony began to move toward the door, “I’m gonna go talk to the kid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can’t stand that Bruce is getting more attention?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something like that.” He replied and slipped through the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stood in the lab alone and looked at my wrists again. Tony had given me an apartment, a salary, and an entire wardrobe picked out by Black Widow. Clint pulled me into this weirdo family, but Tony had definitely spent the most money on me so far. Despite all the cash he threw at me though, without a doubt, this was the gift I loved the most. Not just because it was the most badass thing I've seen in awhile, but it was because he spent the time to make sure I had something to protect myself. It was the same feeling I got when Clint and Natasha beat the shit outta me in the training gym. Nothing said </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘welcome to the family’</span>
  </em>
  <span> quite like a weapon of mass destruction or a new choke hold.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The day was blowing by quickly, and it was probably because I was never not doing something. The caterers had gotten the address mixed up with something else so I had to reroute them before they began preparing too much, the music ensemble I hired had cancelled last minute so I had to scramble for some new source of music, and the guy I hired for décor had the nerve to try and argue with me on price last minute. Granted, Tony could afford pretty much anything, but it was the gall of it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Basically, my entire afternoon was spent putting out fires and I had to resist using my new gauntlets on a few assholes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“J, please remind Tony that he needs to start getting ready at 5:30 because I want him at the venue at 6:30 sharp.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I will pass along the message, Ms. Bradshaw</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Granted that means he’ll get there at like 7:30.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Without a doubt, Miss</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I chuckled to myself and checked my new watch. It was 4:45 right now which gave me time to get ready and then get to the venue early to make sure everything was running smoothly. Peter had left hours ago with stars still in his eyes, especially when Tony also invited him and his aunt to Thanksgiving. Bruce had left to pick up Betty and texted me saying everything went smoothly so they were probably out on the town catching up now. Steve was getting ready right now since he said he’d drive me to the venue. Natasha was in the Tower still, she told me to call her when it came time to do my hair, and Clint was </span>
  <em>
    <span>somewhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the doors of the elevator opened, I hurried out, tossing my bag by the door, and then began to pull my shirt out of my skirt as I walked to my bedroom. I managed to pull the shirt off entirely as I entered the room, but I nearly broke my ankle trying to come to a quick stop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> shirtless Thor had walked out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist right as I stepped into my bedroom wearing only my gray and pink bra. He stared at me and I stared at him and he stared at me and I stared at him and this continued for what felt like 700 years. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thor</span>
  </em>
  <span>. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>shirtless</span>
  </em>
  <span> Thor. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>shirtless</span>
  </em>
  <span> Thor with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>arms</span>
  </em>
  <span> of an actual </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Jesus Christ, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>gorgeous</span>
  </em>
  <span> and literally glistening with water, like the main character of a cheesy romance novel you buy for 99 cents at an airport.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor was the first to snap out of it. He crossed the room stiffly, keeping his eyes on my face, and slowly bent over to pick up the shirt I had apparently dropped in my state of shock. He held it up with both hands to cover my torso, “My lady.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I grabbed the shirt on autopilot and couldn’t even figure out how the sleeves worked. I just held the button up shirt to my chest. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thor</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Oh my God, it was Thor. It was Thor and I was standing here in my </span>
  <em>
    <span>motherfucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> bra.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>flattered</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I admire your…</span>
  <em>
    <span>determination</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but my heart has already been taken by a Midgardian.” Thor gave me a broad smile and an awkward thumbs up. He tilted his head once with a chuckle, “I mean, I will commend your choice because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> the strongest Avenger.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought Bruce was the strongest Avenger.” I said in the softest voice I had probably ever spoken in in my entire life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor scrunched his face up with a confused smile, “You are mistaken, my lady, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>ok</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I do have to ask that you find your way out because I do not think Jane would approve of us still standing here.” He motioned to himself and then me, “Like this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I—You—Uh, I’m…” I took in a deep breath in a poor attempt to try and get some oxygen to my short-circuiting brain, “Nobody said you’d be here, but they did say they never knew but—I just—Maybe…</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hoo, boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m saying a lot of words. Is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Steve</span>
  </em>
  <span>…coming down…or…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Steve</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Thor perked up at the name, “Steven Rogers?” I nodded like an idiot and Thor chuckled, “Ah, I understand now. You stumbled upon the wrong floor. You’re looking for Steve?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I slowly shook my head, “Well…no—not like—not like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He isn’t the strongest avenger either, but…” Thor mumbled then continued, “I believe his floor is two below me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not—not accurate.” I blinked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Aj</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Speak of the devil. Steve called out from the hall and I stumbled forward to turn around but didn’t find the time to reply to him. He stepped into my doorway and froze with wide eyes. Steve was wearing his navy-blue suit, and he lifted a hand to motion toward us, “Oh. God, I’m sorry, uh…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I gave him a tight smile, “You look nice!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then we all stood there for another awkward moment. I stared at Steve who would glance at me then quickly look over to Thor who was staring at me in confusion. Thor cleared his throat, “This is incredibly strange. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Who are you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve stepped into the room and slid out of his navy blazer. He wrapped it around my shoulders with a smile and then pushed me in the direction of the closet. That was all I needed to finally snap into reality. I jogged into the closet and shut the door as quickly as I could. For the first moment, I just mentally screamed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Her name is Aj.” I heard Steve’s muffled voice. “She’s been staying on this floor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, that explains the amenities in my bathroom.” Thor said loudly with a laugh, “I wondered about Stark’s choice. Although, her soap smells incredible.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I dropped my button up shirt and slipped on a pajama shirt before stepping out again holding Steve’s jacket. They both looked to me and I awkwardly walked over to hand Steve his jacket back. I nodded once, “Thank you, Steven.” Steve chuckled and I ignored him to turn to Thor, “I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>super</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry for everything that happened in the last five minutes. I think I'm going to go into the bathroom and drown myself in the shower.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor laughed, “No need. All is forgiven. So, you live here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Russians tried to kill me and then I got a job.” I said. Steve coughed to hide another laugh and Thor just nodded along as if that sentence made perfect sense to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, if you excuse me for a moment.” He gave me another friendly smile before walking past me to the closet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor closed the door and I turned to Steve who was full out laughing now. I buried my face into my hands, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my God</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Steve, I wanna </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>! That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> embarrassing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it was fine. You always leave a great first impression.” Steve replied and reached out to squeeze my shoulder. He still wore a broad smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had my introduction speech all prepared in my head so when I met Thor he’d be like </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Whoa this girl is so cool, I wanna be her friend’</span>
  </em>
  <span> and instead I walked in on him while we were both half naked.” I whisper yelled. “Why am I the way that I am?? I wasn’t even wearing one of my really cute bras.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve laughed again, “Don’t worry so much. Anyone who meets you wants to get to know you more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re biased. You’re just saying that because I’ve grown on you. Like Stockholm syndrome or a really bad mold.” I replied. Steve just smiled down at me in amusement. When he finally opened his mouth to speak again, Thor’s voice drew our attention to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor stood outside the closet wearing a simple outfit of dark pants, shirt, and a hoodie jean jacket. All courtesy of Natasha, of course. He motioned backwards to the closet, “The lady’s clothing makes sense now. I was wondering.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Mr. God of Thunder, Thor, sir.” I stepped towards him and ignored Steve’s snickering. At least someone was enjoying this. “I don’t know if you know, but tonight Stark Industries is hosting a gala—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> are hosting a gala.” Steve corrected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I threw my hand backwards nonchalantly, “And you and Jane are </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> than welcome to attend. It’s a last minute invite, the gala starts at 7, but the two of you are welcome to join us at </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Aj.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, that </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> my name.” I mumbled realizing in that entire speech I had forgotten to introduce myself properly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was planning to go see Jane now. I will ask her.” Thor gave me a warm smile. He came closer to grip my hand firmly, then nodded once, “Also, you may simply call me Thor…or strongest avenger.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t that Banner?” Steve questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor gave Steve a look that screamed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Traitor’</span>
  </em>
  <span> before squeezing my hand once more and leaving the room. I turned back around to Steve who was still smiling to himself. I ran a hand down the front lapel of his suit making his smile flicker as he looked down to my hand in surprise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look </span>
  <em>
    <span>fantastic</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Steve.” I admired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You already said that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did I? Everything before I put a shirt on is kind of a blur.” I mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know”, Steve reached out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “The last time I saw you so flustered was when </span>
  <em>
    <span>we</span>
  </em>
  <span> first met.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I groaned, “Yeah and I called you ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Captain fucking America’</span>
  </em>
  <span> and then </span>
  <em>
    <span>giggled</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m aware that I'm </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit</span>
  </em>
  <span> at meeting people, Steven.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not though. It was cute.” He replied with a shrug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment then quickly shook my head, “So what’s up? Did you need something? Or did you just come down here to watch me make an idiot of myself?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve motioned to the door, “No, I just needed to help Clint with something real quick. I was going to tell you to text me when you’re ready to go. Oh, and Nat says she’ll be up soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, really? I gotta shower then.” I hurried to the bathroom, but paused to wave to him, “Thanks, Steve!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My ten minute shower consisted of me speeding through washing my hair and shaving while trying not to nick myself. Then with dripping hair and a towel wrapped around my body, I quickly brushed my teeth before squeezing more water out of my hair. I stepped out of my room, to grab underwear and a button up shirt to put on while I did my makeup, but stopped when I saw Natasha sitting on the edge of my bed with a smirk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hear you tried to seduce the god of thunder.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I groaned and threw myself forward onto the bed so I was lying beside her, “Oh my God, Nat, it was so embarrassing. I looked like a total idiot and I wasn’t even wearing my cute bra!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Which one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gray and pink.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oof</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Natasha replied and I was grateful that she understood that portion of my pain. She motioned for me to get up and then ran a hand through my still damp hair. “Well, come on, we’re going to make you look so good that Thor wishes he had jumped you when he had the chance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I narrowed my eyes at her, “That is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> the goal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She met my light glare with a smirk and eye roll, “Aj, that is </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> the goal.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Natasha watched as Aj admired herself in the mirror, lightly touching her own hair, then running her hands down the front of her dress. The dress, a gift from Pepper Aj had said, was a bold red and spoke volumes to Pepper’s taste in clothes. The top was halter, a side of it wrapping around Aj’s neck, and the torso maintained that tight fit until it bulged out around her hips. The right side had a long slit to show her leg. It was a gorgeous dress, but it was Aj who really sold it. What the redhead liked the most about this entire ensemble was the look in her small friend’s shocked, blue eyes. It was like for the first time the woman was noticing that she was beautiful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nat, you outdid yourself. I mean…You’re a miracle worker.” Aj breathed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did the bare minimum, Aj. That’s all you.” She lightly calmed a few stray hairs at the back of her head, “And watch the next thing you say because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> flip you in this dress.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj let out a laugh, and Natasha was proud of how the shock turned to confidence in her burning blue eyes. She had come a long way, made leaps and bounds in progress, but one of the hardest things to this day was getting Aj to see her own worth. Sam warned them all it would be the last hurdle for her to get past and Natasha understood that. If you spend years viewing yourself as only one thing, trying to change your own opinion was almost impossible. It took her years to finally start listening to the things Clint said about her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you text, Steve?” Natasha asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, he’s meeting me up here.” Aj replied, her smile not faltering at all. Natasha motioned for her to follow and they went to go pick out shoes for her to wear. She knew Aj still wasn’t the biggest fan of feels, but there really wasn’t another option here. Especially since the slit showed most of her leg. Natasha grabbed a pair of gold wedges. It’d match the bracelets around her wrist from Tony and the wider heel would keep her steady while she ran around the gala worrying over every little thing. “Thanks, Nat. Really.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s my pleasure.” She replied. “Clint stopped letting me do his hair and makeup ages ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj chuckled, “I, uh, I wanna say something kind of sappy, but I know neither of us are really the sappy type.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For the next minute, let’s pretend that we are.” Natasha replied. With someone as closed off as Aj they needed to encourage every single bit of self-expression. They didn’t want her to hold any part of herself back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj finished putting on her shoes then set a hand on Natasha’s elbow, “I didn’t have a mom to do this kind of thing with since she died while I was still a kid, and my sister… well, I was so busy looking out for her that it didn’t leave much time for me. It’s just…Thanks for showing me what an older sister is </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be like. I didn’t think I’d ever get that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Natasha couldn’t understand how someone who truly knew Aj could ever just leave her behind. First impressions made her think that Aj was cold, hard to trust, a liability to security, and someone who was just desperate to have something to her own name. Despite giving out that vibe to anyone in the near vicinity, Aj was the entire opposite. She was warm. Those ice blue eyes burned with passion and love for every single thing she set her mind to. She was loyal. The moment they reached out to her and she finally reached back she was there for good. She was unwavering. Aj stood by them looking to help in any little way, and she was desperate but not desperate for some physical thing. She had just been desperate for a chance, a chance to let her walls fall. Natasha was very good at understanding people, at seeing what their internal goals were and what they wanted most. It was an important tool in her line of work. Looking at Aj now, she could see that behind those tall walls she had just been hiding a big heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for showing me what having a little sister is like.” Natasha gave her a reassuring smile and warmed at the fact that the small motion made all the nerves disappear from Aj’s face. “Now come on, I think I heard the elevator and you’re going to be late if we linger any longer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj beamed at her with that same look of admiration. Even to this day, Natasha didn’t see that look a lot. Clint and the other Avengers admired her, but each of them was in a different way. She’d never had someone look at her and want to walk in her shoes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Natasha heard Steve call out and then began to drag Aj out of the room. The blond man was standing in front of the elevator with his hands in his pockets. He smiled at her, but the smile fell into awe when he noticed Aj. She recognized that look. Still, Steve didn’t speak, he just stared, and Aj shifted beside her nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does it look ok?? I’ve never worn anything like—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It looks </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Natasha said firmly before snapping her eyes to Steve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded quickly, “Y—Yeah. It looks—You look… uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wow</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘wow you look amazing, Aj</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ or a </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘wow, I can’t believe you’re wearing those shoes with that dress’?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Aj teased in what Natasha assumed was a joke between the two. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve laughed with a small nod, “The first one. Definitely the first one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj excused herself to run back to the room to grab her clutch. Natasha walked up to Steve and crossed her arms with a tilt of her head, “Eloquent as always, grandpa.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not known for being smooth with the dames. That was more Buck’s game.” Steve nervously began to rub the back of his head now. Natasha pulled his arm down before he messed up his own hair. “The last time I even </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried</span>
  </em>
  <span> was back in the 40’s.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I know.” Natasha teased. Aj came out a moment later while tucking a phone and her lip gloss into a gold clutch that Natasha had brought up for her to use. She made the mental note that they needed to go purse shopping sometime soon in the future. “I think I have a shawl you can wear. You’ll be cold outside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then with a confident Aj smirk, she waved the clutch, “Oh come on, I’ll be </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I was not fine. The sun had gone down and it was forty something degrees and I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Steve tried to give me his jacket, but I refused to take it from him. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, I knew how much the cold bothered him. My guess was it had something to do with being frozen for seventy years, but he never brought it up so I left it alone. He’d talk about it when he was ready to talk about it or if he even wanted to. Luckily, the car he had pulled around, had one of Tony’s suit jacket’s lying on the backseat. I didn’t know why he had an entire outfit in this car specifically, but Tony was Tony and I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily, parking for this venue was inside a garage so there was no wind chill to bite at us as we walked inside. The entirety of the ballroom was elegantly decorated. Tables were seated at the back with nameplates set on plates, the bar against the far wall was in the process of being prepped, and I could see the wait staff coming in and out of the back kitchen. I thanked Steve profusely and then spent the next thirty minutes checking over the nameplates, making sure they were all correct and in the right spot, and then checked with everyone who was milling about working.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When I circled the room once, I stopped by the bar table where Steve stood on his phone. He glanced up at me with a smile and I felt guilty, “You know you didn’t have to stick around. I feel bad for dragging you here so early.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t. I volunteered for this.” Steve replied. “I don’t mind it at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I leaned against the table, I had stripped out of Tony’s jacket a while ago, “You guys haven’t left me alone in a while.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging with y’all, but…” I shrugged. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that Tony doesn’t let me run errands in the city alone anymore or how Bruce comes with me when I offer to get tea from the place down the street he likes or how Nat always comes with me to Amber’s place and Clint always goes to pick up food with me…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve sighed, “We’re just being cautious.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I frowned, feeling even more guilty, the only reason I could imagine why they would be sticking to me like glue like this was hard to talk about. I twisted my lips and forced myself to ask, “Do y’all think I’m gonna run again?” Steve blinked in shock and I shook my head. “I promise I’m not. I really like being around and I can’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>imagine—</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Steve quickly reached across the table to take my hand. “That’s not it at all, Aj. I swear. We trust you. We just…” He squeezed my hand and gave me a sheepish smile, “We’re the Avengers and we’re all just paranoid. We don’t want you to get hurt or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Relief flooded over me and I laughed, “Wait, really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You said it yourself, a hit was put on your head, people from that ring aren’t your biggest fan anymore, and we have our own long list of enemies.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Steve, I can take care of myself.” I lifted my free hand to showcase my newest accessory, “Especially now with these bad boys.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve chuckled, “We know you can. We just like taking care of you, alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I do like the company.” I shrugged with a small smile. Admittedly, I thought the idea of them babysitting me like that would bother me more, but I couldn’t deny that there was still a small voice at the back of my head that was terrified. Thinking about Boss still sent a chill down my spine, and every once in a while I would have a nightmare about being back in the bunker or back in his office like none of this had even happened. It was a constant reminder that though I was doing much better, a part of me was still broken and scared. I kind of wondered if that part of me would ever fade away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I went back to checking details, but this time I dragged Steve around with me so he didn’t have to stand at the table alone. Time passed and suddenly guests began to arrive. The band was playing soft background music and I greeted those who began to mingle around. Tony still wasn’t here, but that didn’t actually come as a surprise to me. The other Avengers had shown up though. Bruce introduced me to a pretty, black haired woman, Dr. Betty Ross, who kept her arm in his firmly. The way the two of them looked at one another was heartwarming and I was so glad they got to see each other again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even Thor had shown up with Jane. He had changed from the casual clothes into a suit and Dr. Jane Foster, a mousy brunette, had on a beautiful gown. When I greeted them both, Thor had grinned and told me it was nice to see me again, fully clothed this time, and Jane was nearly as confused as I was mortified. I explained the situation quickly, Thor just chuckling the entire time, and at the end Jane laughed in amusement. Thank God. I didn’t need the god of thunder’s girlfriend hating me for showing him my bra. I mean, there are plenty of other reasons to hate me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, at 7:35, Tony strolled in with Pepper Potts. He had on a simple black suit and red tinted glasses. Pepper, who had one arm hooked through his, looked absolutely regal in a long sleeve, cream colored gown. I made my way toward them nervously. This was technically the first time I was seeing Pepper in person since she gave me the job.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aj!” Pepper greeted and pulled away from Tony to give me a hug that I nervously returned. “This looks </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredible</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you so much.” I breathed in relief then motioned to myself, “And thank you so much for the dress.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, it looks absolutely wonderful on you.” Pepper cooed with a sincere smile, “You really have been doing an amazing job and I'm </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> thankful I have someone in New York that I can count on to get Tony to his meetings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony held his hands up, “And you can’t count on me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We both ignored him, and I thanked Pepper again. She praised me one last time, it went straight to my head, and then she left to go mingle with guests since, as she so aptly put, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘We both know Tony isn't going to</span>
  </em>
  <span>’. After she left, I turned to Tony with a grin that I couldn’t keep off my face. He stepped closer with a smirk and glanced me over, “Pretty as a picture, honey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m 90% positive that’s what you said to me when I was lying in a hospital bed black and blue.” I replied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony nodded, “Still true.” He surprised me by pulling me forward into a hug and kissing the side of my head. Tony stepped back and motioned around him, “You did good work. Pepper wasn’t exaggerating.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Tony.” I said. God, I felt like I was on cloud nine. The Avengers needed to be careful because I was starting to get addicted to this praise thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took one of my hands and motioned to the bracelet there, “You know, I really think this piece ties the whole outfit together. You’re welcome.” I rolled my eyes and pulled my hands away. My smile still not faltering. Nothing could knock me off the high I was riding. Tony’s smirk grew, “Also, I heard that you tried to seduce—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nat already made that joke!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” I snapped with a blush. Tony just laughed loudly, and I crossed my arms. It was official. I was never, ever going to live this down in a million years. When I died, they were going to mention this in my eulogy and carve the story onto my tombstone, I was sure. Tony was still chuckling to himself and I lightly elbowed him before he dragged me over to the bar, “Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your room?” Tony raised an eyebrow at me in question before turning to the bartender. “Three martinis. One dirty, one with extra olives, and…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony looked at me expectantly and I shook my head, “I’ve never had a martini before. Uh, shaken not stirred?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Make that two dirty.” Tony rolled his eyes. When the bartender moved to make the drinks, he turned to me, “Who hasn’t had a martini before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The bar I used to frequent wasn’t exactly a martini crowd.” I countered. “I was lucky when their glasses were clean.” Tony made a face of disgust and I shook my head to get us back on track. “Thor is back, and he has Jane here. I don’t wanna intrude on their space by sleeping on the couch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony grinned, “Ah, you mean, you don’t want to hear them having sex.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt my face go as red as my dress and I nearly choked on the next breath of air I took, “Tony!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was unfazed, “I’d offer you my couch, but Pepper’s here so… Actually, there is now a couple on every single floor. Except Steve.” Tony snapped his fingers and pointed to me. “There you go. Crash on his couch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. That would work.” I nodded. It wouldn’t even be the first time we slept on the same floor together. There were times we’d watch Netflix, and both pass out on the couch. “But, wait, what if he wants to…you know, pick up a girl here or something?” Tony burst into another round of laughter, this one almost louder than with my Thor incident, and I shook my head, “What??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony shook his head and the bartender brought over our drinks, “I knew you were funny, it’s why we get along so swimmingly, but that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> the funniest thing I've ever heard you say.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I narrowed my eyes as Tony took a sip of his martini, “Steve can pick up a girl!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Steven Grant Rogers couldn’t pick up a girl to save his </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> life.” Tony countered confidently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a newfound determination, I picked up my martini glass, “Wanna bet??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony’s smirk turned smug at the challenge, “Absolutely. What do you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I win, then…” I thought for a minute before smirking myself, “If I win, you have to come with me to my old bar for a drink.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The billionaire made a face of disgust before nodding, “Fine, but if </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> win you have to let me buy you a Jeep, no arguments.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is that a reward for you??” I argued.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, seeing the look on your face as I purchase that matte gray, souped-up Jeep will be </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> the reward I need.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I twisted my lips before nodding once, I lifted my glass to him, “Fine. Deal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Deal.” Tony echoed and lightly clinked his glass to mine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We both took a sip and my face scrunched up at the dry, bitter drink, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh God.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not a fan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the </span>
  <em>
    <span>worst</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing I’ve had in my entire life.” I gasped. Never had I ever been a fan of Gin, but I figured it must have tasted better in martini form since everyone seemed to love them so much. I was very, very wrong. “Why would </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> do that to themselves?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony set his drink down, took the one in my hand, and quickly chugged it despite my complaints. He set the empty glass down and tapped on the bar for someone to come over. Tony chuckled, “I knew you’d hate it. I just wanted to see your face.” The bartender arrived and Tony motioned to me, “Pineapple and rum. Strong. Add a splash of orange.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a rum girl. Don’t worry, I respect that.” Tony shrugged, “The extra stuff is a little too sweet for my taste, but I get it. You don’t like the last lingering flavor to be the liquor.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smiled to myself at his words. Tony played nonchalant about everything he did and every relationship he had, but it was moments like this that reminded me how much he paid attention. Tony noticed the little details about the people around him and then he used it to show how much he cared. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He scooped up his glasses, “Remember our deal. He’s gotta pick up a girl by the end of tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I nodded with my arms crossed, “I remember, and don’t worry, I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what I’m gonna order for you at Billy’s.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony made a face at the name before rolling his eyes and leaving. I turned away from the bar to glance over the room. Everything seemed like it was going well. In the next thirty minutes or so people would sit down to eat and then Tony and Pepper would give </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘thank you’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>speeches to the crowd. After that, I was off the hook. People would be free to just mingle and have a good time and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything going wrong at that point. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bartender brought me the drink Tony ordered and I thanked him before taking a sip. The rum burned down my throat, but the juices left a sweet aftertaste in my mouth. I glanced around looking for Steve. We needed to get a jump on this now. I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> lose to Iron Man.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Steve had been to a number of Stark Industries galas since the battle of New York. It was a solidarity thing. They all knew how much Tony hated these events so by coming they gave him someone other than the </span>
  <em>
    <span>“pompous, windbags”</span>
  </em>
  <span>, as he called them, to talk to. None of them ever really minded it either. The food was good and the drinks were ever flowing. Steve had to admit though that he thought this gala was a step above the rest. He also knew he was probably biased in thinking that though. Afterall, he had watched Aj plan every little aspect of this over the last three weeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam, decked out in a black suit and green tie, strolled over and set a brown bottle on the bar table in front of him, “The bar is actually serving beer this time instead of just the rich people stuff.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Aj asked me what you, me, and Clint liked to drink.” Steve replied, lifting the drink to his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God bless that woman.” Sam lifted his own bottle in a silent cheer. Steve chuckled to himself and Sam was quick to nudge him in his side with his elbow. Sam motioned with his head across the room and Steve followed his gaze to where Aj was talking to two people he didn’t recognize. “She looks great, don’t she?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, she does.” Steve replied with a small smile. This was the first time he’s seen her dressed up to this degree. The look he most often saw was shorts and hoodies and fuzzy socks, and it was a look he really liked on her. Still, he could get used to seeing her like this. Beautiful and </span>
  <em>
    <span>truly</span>
  </em>
  <span> confident. Not just the air of snarky confidence she used as a shield at times.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam raised an eyebrow at him, “I didn’t think you’d agree so easily. Thought I’d have to beat it out of you while trying to convince you that you like her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> like her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam immediately choked on his beer, and Steve had to admit seeing his friend react that way had been worth dropping that bomb. He lifted his hand to try and pat Sam’s back, but Sam just swatted his hand away and tried to suck in more air, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What??</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were right. I do like her.” Steve shrugged and Sam just stared at him like he had grown another head. He chuckled, “Denying doesn’t change anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve assumed he meant when did he know. When him and Sam first had this conversation, everything Steve had said had been true. Steve knew there was a spark of attraction there, but he really hadn’t thought much of it. Who wouldn’t feel some kind of attraction to someone like her? Even a still healing Bucky had apparently noticed something. It was the time after that first conversation that had changed things. Somewhere between the late nights watching Netflix and take out dinners and random trips into Manhattan his attraction had turned into sincere feelings. Hell, he still hadn’t acknowledged it himself until she grabbed him and told him to ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>spin her’</span>
  </em>
  <span> during a country song of all things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me admitting it doesn’t change anything.” He repeated firmly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam lifted his hands as if he was going to throttle him right here in the fancy ballroom, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>swear to God,</span>
  </em>
  <span> if you use that </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> Bucky excuse—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was partly Bucky, but Steve didn’t have to admit that. He had other reasons to hide behind now, “Nat says if I try to make a move on her she’ll throw me off the quinjet deck on the Tower.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam shook his head, “Wait, Nat said that?? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Son of a bitch</span>
  </em>
  <span>. See, we missed our monthly lunch date and now we aren’t on the same page. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> this would happen. Why—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aj told Nat that she doesn’t date.” Steve took another sip of his drink. It made more than enough sense. The young woman was still healing. She was strong and had overcome a lot, but there were still raw wounds that made her ache. Steve was not going to be the one who hindered Aj from her recovery. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn, she’s right then.” Sam grumbled. Steve knew his desire to get his friend a date wouldn’t overpower his internal drive to help others. “You can’t take a step back from her though, Steve. It might get hard for you, but she’s grown </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> close to you and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> just drop her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve shook his head with a narrowed look, “Of course not. As long as she wants me around, I'm there for her. We became good friends before I started carrying a torch for her, so that’s easy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both men jumped in surprise as a half-full glass of something orange in color was set down on the table hard. Aj was suddenly there in front of them with determined eyes. She pointed to him, “Steve, I need you to flirt with me right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ok, maybe this wouldn’t be easy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, what?” Steve questioned, dumb founded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj looked down at her watch briefly before meeting his gaze again, “I need you to, like, hit on me. As if we just met at a bar and you were trying to get me to come home with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve could feel his face heating up and he prayed it wasn’t noticeable. Sam lowered his head beside him, coughing to hide a laugh. He shook his head, “But </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> am I doing this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I kind of, maybe made this deal with Tony. He said you weren’t capable of picking up a girl tonight and I defended your honor and told him you definitely could.” Aj explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, I know, the conversation really got away from me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam pointed at him, “Steve can’t pick up a random girl.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve whipped his head to look at his friend. He knew it was true, but the guy didn’t have to say it out loud and in front of Aj of all people, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nothing personal!” Sam held his hands up in defense. “You’re just not the</span>
  <em>
    <span> ‘pick a girl up and take her home’</span>
  </em>
  <span> type, Steve, and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that.” He looked back to Aj. “If you want him to flirt with a girl in this day and age, you’re gonna have to show him how.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve really wasn’t sure how this conversation had gotten to this point so quickly, but he was beginning to wonder if maybe he should’ve just stayed in the damn ice. Aj nodded at Sam’s words and turned to look at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stepped forward, closing the space between them, and Steve felt his breath catch in his throat. Aj leaned her elbow on the table, “Hey there…</span>
  <em>
    <span>big guy</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jesus Christ</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Sam sighed and Steve began to laugh. He couldn’t help it. The attempt had just been too cute. Aj quickly straightened her posture though and crossed her arms. Her cheeks were tinted a light shade of pink. Steve loved seeing flustered Aj.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, I don’t know how to flirt on command either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam tilted his head, “Hope you didn’t put anything important on the line.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sam, </span>
  <em>
    <span>help</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“First thing first, we gotta pick our target.” Sam said and Steve immediately shot him a glare. Sam just shrugged in amusement. There wasn’t much to do at these galas other than mock the investors. At least this would keep them busy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj moved to stand beside him, she hooked an arm through his, and then motioned around the room with her other hand, “Alright, do you see anyone in here you think is pretty??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you’re beautiful.” Steve replied with a small smile as he looked down at her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj grinned and used her free hand to pat his chest, “Yes! Exactly like that, but take it out there, charm school.” Her watch made a beeping noise and she glanced down at it again. “Shit, it’s time for dinner. I’m gonna get everyone moving, but you keep looking around for somebody you like, ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve nodded his head once as she ran off. Sam pressed his lips together and then motioned in the direction of where Aj had gone with his drink, “Your crush is like </span>
  <em>
    <span>super</span>
  </em>
  <span> oblivious to this stuff, isn’t she?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on.” Steve chuckled. He grabbed the drink that Aj had forgotten to take with her and moved toward the table where their names were knowing that Aj had placed her seat right beside him. He knew he liked her. He knew that. Steve also knew though, that if he focused hard enough on just making sure she was moving in the right direction and still healing that it would be enough for him. It was just a dumb crush born from close proximity. It would pass eventually. Just a crush.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As it turned out, Steve was not afraid of women like Tony had kept telling her. In fact, the bastard was downright charming. After dinner, Sam and I would find a pretty girl and motion for him to make a move. Steve would go, initiate a conversation, have the woman drooling after him like any sane woman in the world would, but then he’d excuse himself and leave before closing the deal. It was like I was watching myself get so close to winning only for it to fall apart at the finish line again and again. While I suffered, Sam and Steve just teased me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like you’re not putting your whole heart and soul into this, mister.” I twisted my lips into a pout as Steve came to stand beside me again. Sam had slipped away a few minutes ago to use the restroom and get another drink. The blond chuckled, but I pointed at him, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Steven Grant Rogers.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve laughed again, “What’s the deal exactly?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You pick up a girl. That means flirting and wooing and getting her to come home with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know I’m not taking any dame other than you home tonight, right?” Steve raised an eyebrow at me. I knew exactly what he meant by the phrasing, but I still found my cheeks growing warm. He shrugged once, “The hookup culture isn’t really my style.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Product of your generation?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, more like pre-serum me couldn’t get a date to save my life.” Steve chuckled. “And even if I could, I just…” He gave me a firm smile, “I’m a one dame kind of guy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I set my hands on his chest, “That is so heartwarming and sweet and I think you’re the coolest guy ever but you’re also sort of ruining my life right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve let out a loud laugh, “Sorry, sweetheart.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes caught sight of a pretty brunette walking past us and I watched as she checked Steve out from behind. I snapped my gaze back to him, “Ok, how about just one more try? A babe just passed by in a silver dress and was checking out your ass. I think she could be your </span>
  <em>
    <span>soulmate</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because she likes my ass?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the cornerstone of any good relationship, I hear.” I shrugged with a wide smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve glanced over his shoulder once then looked back to me, “One more try, and then after that we throw in the towel. Deal?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m wary to say deal after this first one kind of blew up in my face, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>. After you charm her right off her feet, I will call it quits and accept my defeat. Unless you find out you like her and decide to bring her home because in that case...” I replied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve chuckled and said he’d be back soon before turning on his heel and heading to the bar where the woman was standing by her friend. She really was pretty. Curly, brown hair and a silver dress that clung to every curve she had. I gripped my glass in my hands and stared at the two. Anyone looking in would probably think I was the biggest creep in the entire world. Steve said something and the woman laughed in an over dramatic manner. She reached out and let her hand trace his chest in response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone stepped up beside me, Sam I assumed, and I turned to catch him up on what was happening. When I looked at him though I realized it was very much </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sam. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey there.” A blond stranger beamed down at me. He was probably handsome but looking at him all I could think was </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘trashy college boy who never grew out of the frat mindset</span>
  </em>
  <span>’. He leaned in slightly, “What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m waiting for a friend.” I replied and nodded my head to Steve hoping he’d be spooked by my friend being Captain America.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Chad’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, as I was mentally calling him, glanced over before looking back to me with a smirk, “I could be your Captain America tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Buddy, you couldn’t even pass as a poor knock off.” I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. The worst thing I could do was give this guy any of my attention. Assholes like him fed off that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, come on, don’t be like that.” Chad hummed in amusement. As if my annoyance was just some long game I was playing. “I just wanted to get to know you a little better. I’m—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look.” I cut him off and turned to snap a glare at him. “Here’s the thing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chad</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not my—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have been trying really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> hard to be a better person and all that shit, but you are making that </span>
  <em>
    <span>increasingly</span>
  </em>
  <span> difficult for me, ok?” I said firmly. “Do us both a favor and just walk away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chad, thick headed dumbass Chad, slid his hand onto my back. His fingers wrapped around my side as he pulled me an inch closer, “Let’s be real, pretty girls like you come to these things to find rich men like me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Trying not to gag at </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> sentence.” I mumbled, my hands tightening around my glass. To this day, I still did not like being touched. The Avengers were fine. I liked it when they reached out to me and made contact because they did it with good intentions. They were showing they cared. Sleazy guys like Chad, though? Chad’s hand on me just reminded me of the days in the ring where anyone thought they could touch me how they wanted and get away with it. “You can move your hand yourself and leave by your own will now, or I will forcibly rip your arm off and beat you to death with it, buddy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chad, Mr. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not getting my message</span>
  </em>
  <span>, only smirked back at me, “Hey, I like a girl with a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>bite</span>
  </em>
  <span> to her. Makes it a lot more fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand slipped lower as he groped my ass, and I could hear the </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Kill Bill’</span>
  </em>
  <span> siren going off in my skull. The fact that I didn’t immediately smash my glass against his head was a big improvement for me. My self-control could be compared to Mother Teresa. Ok, maybe not exactly her, but still. I knew that this gala was going really well, and I also knew committing homicide in the middle of it would really throw a wrench into the works. So instead of following up on my threat and just ripping his arm off, I pushed his hand off me and held his arm with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on then.” I said and began to pull him away from the table toward the edge of the room. Chad’s grin grew and his eyes didn’t leave my chest or bare leg as I dragged him through the swing doors that led back into a hallway that connected to the kitchen. The kitchen sounded busy, with people probably cleaning up, but the hallway was empty. Chad hummed in pleasure and set his hands on my waist. With no eyes on us, I didn’t hesitate to grab one wrist and turn it painfully just like Natasha had shown me. I shoved on the arm hard enough that he cried out in pain and fell to his knees.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitch—</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No woman likes to be touched without permission, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucker</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” I snapped and spun to stand behind him when he swung out with his other arm to grab me. Quickly, I bent his arm back and wrapped my other arm around his neck. The continuation of the choke hold I had started, courtesy of the Black Widow. “So listen up and listen up good because I am only going to say this to you once. If you </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> touch another woman without her permission—” Chad suddenly went limp in my arms forcing my rant to a standstill. “Uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chad</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I let go of him and he fell forward flat onto his face, unmoving. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no.” I mumbled and quickly knelt down to try and find a pulse. Natasha and Clint had said the choke hold could knock someone out, but they failed to mention how quickly it happened. I wasn’t trying to actually hurt the idiot, I just wanted to scare the shit out of him. I found a pulse on the side of his neck and let out a breath of relief. The doors we had come through swung open and I looked up just in time to see Clint step into the hallway. His eyes widened a bit and I gave him a sheepish smile, “So, I, uh… He isn't dead. I think. Pretty sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clint nodded once and motioned to Chad, “Is there a reason why you’re perched over an unconscious man’s body?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did the choke hold y’all showed me last week. You didn’t tell me how fast it would work though!” I quickly stood. “I mean, I only held him for like 15 seconds at the most!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clint grinned, “Wow, </span>
  <em>
    <span>15 seconds</span>
  </em>
  <span>? That’s good. It means you applied just the right amount of pressure and your form must have been spot on. A proper carotid choke hold can knock someone out in 10 to 20 seconds.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> reacting to me knocking someone out like you should and </span>
  <em>
    <span>also</span>
  </em>
  <span> the 10 to 20 seconds rule should’ve been shared with me the day of.” I argued.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clint came over to check his pulse too, “Why did you choke hold him? I think we skipped over that part.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was coming onto me and I told him to stop.” I crossed my arms. “I was trying to do it nicely, </span>
  <em>
    <span>well nicely for me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but then he grabbed me.” Clint’s smile dropped and his face hardened. I shrugged, “After he grabbed my ass, I figured it gave me the right to, you know, apply bodily harm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Absolutely,</span>
  </em>
  <span> it did.” Clint said firmly and glared at the unconscious man. He looked back at me, “Are you ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well yeah, I mean when it comes to groping it was hardly the worst I've experienced.” I replied and Clint wasn’t entirely happy with my answer. He pressed something on his watch and I shook my head. “Now what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clint stood and motioned to the doors, “You go back to the party and I deal with this asshat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You aren’t gonna, like, kill him are you? Because he was a dick, but not a ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>he needs to die</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ kind of dick.” I asked while Clint began to push me toward the double doors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clint shrugged, “Haven’t decided yet. I’ll keep you updated.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was like 95% sure Hawkeye was joking. He shoved me out of the doors and before I could turn back around and see if he needed more help a familiar redhead looped her arms through mine. Natasha, as per usual, looked gorgeous. She wore a form fitting, glittery black dress that had one full length sleeve while the other arm was bare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, hi, Nat.” I chirped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi yourself. Heard you got into some trouble?” Natasha raised an eyebrow at me as she led me back to where I had been before. I wanted to question how she knew so quickly, but it probably had something to do with Clint’s watch. The two were always in some form of communication, or maybe she had just seen me drag the unsuspecting Chad back there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I sort of knocked a guy out using that choke hold you taught me, and Clint is making sure the guy isn’t like </span>
  <em>
    <span>forreal</span>
  </em>
  <span> dying.” I replied sheepishly. “It was an accident though, I didn’t mean to!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Natasha shrugged with a quirk of her red lips, “I’ll never criticize you for killing a man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m pretty positive I didn’t kill him. 99%.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Regardless.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We both turned our heads when Steve came back to the table with a curious look. He gave Natasha a nod and small smile before looking back to me, “Everything ok? You disappeared on me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it’s fine, I maybe murdered a guy.” I shook my head then grinned, “How’d it go with the girl??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Natasha chuckled and slid a hand down my arm before moving away from me. She gave Steve a small pat on the back before disappearing back into the crowd. I focused back on Steve who was just blinking at me in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was nothing. Did you feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>sparks</span>
  </em>
  <span>??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no sparks, and she </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn't</span>
  </em>
  <span> coming home with me.” Steve replied with a small smile as I pouted. Guess this really was the end. He nodded to me, “Now can we circle back to the murder?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I shrugged, “This guy came up and started hitting on me. He was playing the usual sleazy, rich frat boy game. I told him to back off, he felt up my ass, and then—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>He what?</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Steve interrupted, his smile had slipped off entirely as his face morphed into a mix of worry and anger. “Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>alright</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I'm peachy.” I reached out to hold his arm in some form of reassurance, “I took him back into the kitchen hallway and accidentally knocked him out. I would’ve just decked him, you know my go-to move, but I'm trying to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span> Aj.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Better Aj just knocks people out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Better Aj deals out punishment not loudly and in public!” I corrected with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve’s anger dissipated, replaced with mild amusement, and I took that as a win. He shook his head with a chuckle, “Well, the game is over. I’m not leaving your side tonight. Apparently, you’re just too much of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>goddamn</span>
  </em>
  <span> bombshell to just leave alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> The statement should’ve left me a blushing mess. I mean, Steve Rogers just called me a </span>
  <em>
    <span>goddamn</span>
  </em>
  <span> bombshell, but instead I just smiled at him stupidly. His Brooklyn accent had come out full swing in the sentence and the slight edge to his curse meant he was still upset over what Chad had done. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re real cute, you know that?” I chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cute?” Steve leaned on the table beside me, “Just cute?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t push it.” I replied. “It takes a lot more than a few compliments to woo me, Captain Rogers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve pressed his lips together, a smile curling at the corner of his lips, and he nodded once, “I’ll keep that in mind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I held his gaze a second longer until Sam came over. He had a new bottle of beer in his hands and he kept looking over his shoulder. When he reached the table he pointed behind him, “Do you guys know why Clint just asked me to help him hide a body?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony was immensely proud of his little personal assistant. She had truly knocked it out of the park. He wasn’t surprised, not in the slightest, but proud nonetheless. Even Pepper was impressed with how smoothly the gala went. The meal was perfect, served on time, the speeches went well, his lasting all of 25 seconds, and now the room was filled with a general buzz of enjoyment as everyone mingled and danced.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pepper was off talking to another investor and technically speaking he probably should’ve been too, but his quota of talking to strangers who only liked him for the industry and his money was completely filled for the night. He took another sip of his drink, a whiskey this time, and strolled over to where Aj was standing by a bar table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Admiring your work?” He asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj shrugged, “It’s weird knowing my job with the gala is done here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not entirely done.” Tony smirked. “Steve find his soulmate yet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> you were gonna bring that up.” She pointed at him and he laughed. “We’ve had a few </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> close calls, but Steve always backs out at the end! The women </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go home with him, does that count??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony scoffed, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hell no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> the general public </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go home with Steve. The deal was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘pick a girl up’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that implies that he takes them home to his floor, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that wasn’t gonna happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want your Jeep to be hard top or soft top?” Tony motioned to her with his drink, “I’m thinking hard top. It’s safer, but at the end of the day it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jeep so…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj opened her mouth, probably to try and argue more as if Tony was going to budge on this at all, but the music abruptly stopped and changed to a different song. He didn’t recognize it at all, but he knew the guitar was playing in a style that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> him in any way, shape, or form.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony narrowed his eyes at her, “Are you playing </span>
  <em>
    <span>country music</span>
  </em>
  <span> at </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> gala? Because that is a</span>
  <em>
    <span> fire-able</span>
  </em>
  <span> offense I'll have you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t do this, but.. the </span>
  <em>
    <span>song…</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Aj began to look around the room. She spotted what she was looking for and Tony did as well since the tall, blond was walking toward them. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Steve</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve smirked and held his hand out to her, “Hey, sugar, wanna dance?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aj’s entire face lit up and she quickly took his hand. Steve spun her once where she stood and the grinning woman looked back at Tony, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t wait</span>
  </em>
  <span> to dance with you and then have you </span>
  <em>
    <span>take me back to your floor tonight</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Steve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, no.” Tony caught on quickly and shook his head, “That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> the deal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You never said he couldn’t pick me up. You just said a girl and I am that.” Aj countered with a smug smirk. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony began to argue further, but Steve pulled her away and towards the dance floor. The chorus had hit and the band’s singer started singing about whiskey and strawberry wine. He twisted his lips in annoyance. Tony would give her this little win. There was still Christmas.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be damned.” Tony jumped as Clint showed up beside him. The archer rested an arm on his shoulder. “Tasha was right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About what?” Clint pointed out to the dance floor where Steve and Aj were dancing. He dipped her and she laughed as he pulled her back up and into his chest. Tony saw the way Steve was warmly looking down at her and knew exactly what bird brain was talking about. Tony shook his head and pointed to them with a frown, “That’s against the rules.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What rules, Stark?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know—the ones I'm about to make.” He countered and Clint rolled his eyes. Tony shook his head again, “I don’t like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clint motioned to them, “How do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> like that? Look at them. It’s sweet. In fact, it’s so sweet that I'm getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>cavities</span>
  </em>
  <span> just looking at them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do not approve.” Tony took a sip of his drink and stayed firm in his assessment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it’s a good thing </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm</span>
  </em>
  <span> technically her father…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony resisted the urge to hit the archer. He couldn’t explain it, didn’t know how, but he just wasn’t seeing what Clint was apparently seeing. Call it a gut feeling. An instinct. He was also entirely prepared to tell Clint exactly how strong he felt about this random gut instinct when a hand slipped onto his shoulder. Tony glanced over his shoulder to see Pepper smiling at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on.” She said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tony took another sip of his glass before shoving it into Clint’s hands, “Please tell me we’re not dancing to this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, we definitely are.” Pepper said, pulling him out onto the dance floor, with a soft, amused smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This will just encourage her addiction to country, and we should be better friends to her than that.” Tony argued, but happily followed her out onto the floor. Pepper rolled her eyes and Tony pulled her in close to him. The music was</span>
  <em>
    <span> God awful</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but anything that put Pepper into his arms was worth enduring. He’d beat the stupid idea out of the spy kids’ heads tomorrow. Tonight he had more pressing matters in his arms. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The bad news was that since the decision to stay at Steve’s place was made so late, I hadn’t packed clothes to change into, and Thor had already gone back to his room with Jane so I had no desire to try and sneak in and grab my pajamas. The good news was that I spent so much time on Steve’s floor, and him on mine, that we both had a few pieces of each other’s clothes. So, when the night ended, and we all came home, I had a black pair of spandex shorts and fuzzy socks to change into. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve had lent me one of his shirts to wear and even though it seemed like everything he wore was tight on him, it was giant on me. I stood in front of his bathroom mirror braiding my damp hair so it’d be out of my face. Usually, I’d want a hoodie or something since I kept my apartment on the cooler side, but Steve’s apartment was always warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I slid out of his bedroom, not picking up my feet, and just letting my fuzzy socks do their job. Steve chuckled from the couch, “You’re going to fall on your ass.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse you, I am the definition of grace.” I dove onto his couch and wrapped my arms around one of his pillows, “Dressing up like a princess was really fun, but nothing beats lazy clothes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve motioned to the TV, “You ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I glanced over at it and my eyes widened at the familiar title card, “The Office?? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really</span>
  </em>
  <span>?? I’ve finally worn you down?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You and Sam.” Steve replied. “Clint wouldn’t shut up about it either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise you’re gonna like this Steve.” I sat up and crossed my legs, “If you can suffer past the first 6 episodes it gets </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve laughed, “Why do I have to suffer through episodes if I’m choosing to watch something? Can we just skip those episodes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because it’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>sin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Rogers.” I replied flatly. “It’s tradition to cringe through the first season before you can enjoy the rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve finally relented and turned on the first episode. The first few episodes, as always, were painful. Every once in a while, Steve would look over at me in question and I’d have to convince him again that this was worth it in the long run and that Michael wouldn’t always be an awkward asshole and that eventually he turns into a well-meaning, awkward dork. Around the fourth episode, I was beginning to drift off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nearly one. Are you ready to go to bed?” Steve asked softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My head was pressed against his shoulder and my eyes were half shut, “No, I'm wide awake.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Very</span>
  </em>
  <span> convincing.” Steve said. “Come on, I’ll take you to the bed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nuh uh, I'm sleeping on the couch.” I mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna leave you out here on the couch, Aj.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t sleep on the couch.” I replied. “You’re like 8 feet tall. You wouldn’t even fit. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dorito boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Steve shook with a muffled laugh, but I had a feeling this was going to be a losing battle for me. There was no way Mr. Chivalry was going to sleep in his own bed and leave me on the couch. I hummed, my eyes completely closed as I spoke, “I’m so glad I saved your life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve shifted and I buried my head into his shoulder a little more, “I think you got that backwards.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I forced myself to sit up and open my eyes, Steve left his arm around my shoulders, “I never told you. I told Bucky, but I didn’t tell any of y’all here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “Tell us what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was in Manhattan during the Battle of New York. I saw y’all.” I leaned my head back against his bicep. “While I was trying to get out of the worst of it, you and Thor touch downed on the street beside me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve stiffened, “You were there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhmm. One of those ugly alien assholes was gonna shoot you so I—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell me you didn’t fight an alien.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I chuckled, “You know, Bucky asked me the same thing. I didn’t though. I just knocked a sign down and it landed on it and suddenly I was a hero. Sort of. A preventer of a minor inconvenience to you, at least.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Recognition flashed on his features and he turned more so he was facing me, “I saw you that day. That’s why I recognized you when Clint and Nat were trying to find the Russians that took you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You recognized me? You </span>
  <em>
    <span>remembered</span>
  </em>
  <span> me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I—” Steve cleared his throat, “Your eyes. I recognized your eyes.” He hummed in thought. “What are the chances?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I shrugged, “It’s funny how fate works.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You believe in fate?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I kind of have to. I don’t believe in coincidences, and I guess fate is the opposite of that, right?” I spoke softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve pulled me closer keeping his voice as low as mine, “Why don’t you believe in coincidences?”</span>
</p>
<p><span>“Look at my life.” I replied. I wasn’t sure why we were keeping our voices so low for this conversation, but it felt right. Now a little more awake, I turned so my knees which were tucked up onto the couch rested on his thigh. “When I was a kid, the only reason I found out that I liked fighting was because my sister’s ballet class was cancelled, but since we were already out my dad took us into the Tae Kwan Do dojo in that same strip mall. That was my start.” I sucked in a sharp breath. “I went through six foster homes that hated me and I hated them back. I’d sneak out, pick fights, and just be an asshole in general. I was content with wasting my life away in that Alabama ring. Hell, I didn’t even care about graduating from high school. But then the seventh foster home was with Rosie and she </span><em><span>loved</span></em><span> me. She </span><em><span>cared</span></em><span> and she convinced me that I was </span><em><span>more</span></em><span> than just some delinquent punk. She pushed me to graduate high school, she convinced me to go to college up in New York, and I did.” I motioned to him with a small smile. “Because I was in New York, I was able to save </span><em><span>your</span></em> <em><span>ass</span></em><span> during that battle, and then two years later your agent friends come into </span><em><span>my</span></em><span> ring.” Steve was listening intently to my every word. I always loved that the people in this tower actually listened to what I had to say. “Not only did they come into my ring, but they showed up on the</span><em><span> first night</span></em><span> that I came back. Before then I had been out for three weeks because of an injury, but my </span><em><span>first night back</span></em><span>… there they were. Then I get kidnapped and sent to Russia and as </span><em><span>huge</span></em><span> as that country is, as big as the</span><em><span> damn world is</span></em><span>, I end up in the </span><em><span>same</span></em><span> bunker as your long lost best friend.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Steve let out a low whistle, “When you put it like that…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing in my life seems random when I look back through the years. It’s like every little thing has led me </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span> and…it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice because for a while there I—I kind of stopped believing in fate. I stopped believing in </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Fate always felt kind of like a bitch to me. I was starting to think fate just liked watching me scramble and suffer, but if </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> that pain and </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> that suffering was just to bring me here… maybe it was worth it. Maybe fate wasn’t such a giant bitch after all. Because yeah, I suffered. I suffered through a lot of bullshit and I felt a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of pain, but right now I felt safe. I was warm and safe and—and </span>
  <em>
    <span>God, I was happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I was really, truly happy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve reached forward and moved a piece of hair that had fallen from my braid and into my face. I could feel my eyes starting to water and his face grew concerned, “Aj…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just... </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice to feel like I have a future again.” I nodded with a laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steve squeezed my shoulder and opened his mouth briefly before shutting it again. He shook his head with a small smile, “Wanna watch one more episode?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, please.” I replied. Steve picked up the remote to start the next episode and I turned to lean against his shoulder again. I mentally took back all the mean things I thought and said about fate in the past. Hell, I wanted to make fate a </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘best friends forever</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ bracelet. My eyes began to grow heavy again and I was out like a light before the theme song even ended.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay, I'm back, bitches! Ok so I wanted to post the thanksgiving chapter on thanksgiving, but I messed up. Thanksgiving is 13 and y'all are getting 12 so that's my bad b/c I can't count. Anyways, thanks to everyone who has given me kudos and double thanks for comments (I will be naming my first born after you).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>“She wore her troubled past like wings—she had been through hell, and though no one could see her demons, they could see the face that conquered them.” –Atticus</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>I woke up warm. Like too warm. Like, <em>holy shit</em> did Tony crank the heat up to 112 or something? I was literally sweating. I could feel it pooling on the back of my neck. With an annoyed grumble I lifted my head up off my pillow, hair plastered to my cheek, only to realize I was not in my apartment right now. Thor and Jane were in my usual bed, I needed to remember to wash those sheets <em>thoroughly</em>, and I was on Steve’s floor. Actually, more accurately, I was <em>on</em> Steve.</p>
<p>Last night, we must have fallen asleep on the couch while watching the Office and now in the early morning light my body was pressed between the couch cushions and Steve’s giant body. The only reason why he hadn’t fallen off was probably because half of me was on top of his chest. Even then some of him wasn’t even on the couch. Steve couldn’t be comfortable right now. I used my hand to pull the hair from my face and blinked the blurriness from my eyes.</p>
<p>Steve looked soft. There was always something in his eyes, a warmth and kindness, but he also looked stressed. It was harder to catch when he was laughing or talking, but every once in a while, he’d get a faraway look in his eyes. A tenseness that never truly left him. Right now, though? He looked completely at ease. Steve’s blond hair was a morning mess and the sharp outline of his profile contrasted his partly parted, soft lips. I almost wished I was good at art like him so I could catch this moment on paper. It looked like the kind of moment that needed to be preserved in graphite or ink.</p>
<p>I let out a soft hum and used my right hand to lightly tap on his chest. I didn’t want to wake him, but I <em>really</em> needed to pee, and his heavy legs were definitely on top of my left one. I let out another soft hum and whispered, “Hey, uh, Steve?” His eyebrow twitched. “Steve?”</p>
<p>His eyes finally blinked open a few times, adjusting to the light and his bearings like I had, and finally settled on me. Realization slowly dawned on him and then it sharply turned to shock. Steve mumbled a curse and went to sit up, but it threw off the very delicate balance we had. In an attempt to correct himself, I went sliding to the floor with a yelp, but just as quick as he had accidentally thrown me off, he caught me again. We both hit the floor, him on top of me, but he kept one arm around my back so I didn’t hit the floor hard.</p>
<p>Now I was staring at Steve again, but this time I was looking up at him as he stared down at me with wide blue eyes. He opened his mouth, probably to apologize, but I just laughed. Steve’s worry turned to amusement as he chuckled once, “Morning.”</p>
<p>“Good morning, Captain Rogers.” I replied with a grin. “Sorry for the rude awakening.”</p>
<p>“I think I’m at fault for that.”</p>
<p>We stayed like that for another beat until I tilted my head a bit, “Uh, Steve? Can I…? You know?”</p>
<p>“<em>Shit, yeah</em>.” Steve said and quickly got to his feet. He pulled me up just as quickly. “Sorry.”</p>
<p>“No, I just <em>really</em> gotta pee.” I clapped him on the shoulder once before hurrying past him. The clock Steve had on his bedroom wall said it was just a little past 7 in the morning. Once in the bathroom, I went through a truncated version of my morning routine using the same spare toothbrush I did last night. My hair was a wavy mess since I fell asleep with it braided. When I stepped out, Steve was moving around in his closet. I leaned against the bathroom doorway, “Sorry for waking you up so early.”</p>
<p>Steve chuckled and came out of wearing sweats and a tight white shirt. I really didn’t think the guy owned anything that wasn’t form fitting and honestly it was a blessing to the world. He shook his head, “I slept in. Usually I’m up at 6 for a run. I got three texts from Sam asking where I am.”</p>
<p>“Well, then I’m sorry for keeping you up so late. Plus, sleeping on the couch couldn’t have been comfortable.”</p>
<p>“I think you’d be surprised.” Steve hummed and added as an afterthought, “Any night without a nightmare is my best night.”</p>
<p>I crossed my arms and my ankles, keeping my eyes to the ground, “You have nightmares too?” With a quick shake of my head, I scoffed, “That’s a dumb question. Sorry.”</p>
<p>Steve crossed the room, “You’re really in a ‘<em>sorry’</em> mood this morning.” I looked up and opened my mouth but forced myself to stop when I realized I was just about to apologize again. Instead, I just gave him a tight-lipped smile that he smirked at. The smirk didn’t each his eyes though, “Do you have nightmares?”</p>
<p>“I think it’s a requirement to live in this tower.” I replied. He didn’t reply to my joke and just gave me a knowing look. I shrugged, “They haven’t been so bad lately. When I do have them, I just go down to the gym.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t a lie. Lately the nightmares were few and far between. Every once in a while, I’d have a night where I was plagued by Russian mobsters or a faceless opponent in a random ring or even Boss. The ones with Boss were the worst. Still, they were starting to fade, and I was grateful for that.</p>
<p>“I’m always just right downstairs if you need me. You know that, right?” Steve replied.</p>
<p>I grinned at him, “And I’m always right upstairs if you need me.”</p>
<p>Steve chuckled and we both left his room, “You gonna go back up to your place?”</p>
<p>“Nope.” I replied as we both moved to the elevator. My dress was still hanging in Steve’s closet and I was in my spandex shorts and his shirt. “I’ll let Thor come get me when he’s done with the place. <em>His</em> place.”</p>
<p>I hit the button for the penthouse and Steve leaned against the back of the elevator. When the doors opened, I glanced back at him as he hit the button for the training floor, “Have fun running your 37 miles or whatever it is you do in the morning.”</p>
<p>“You’re always welcome to run with me.”</p>
<p>“I like you, Rogers, but I don’t like you that much.” I countered.</p>
<p>“<em>Yet</em>.” Steve replied right before the doors shut.</p>
<p>There were people moving around in the kitchen, voices I didn’t recognize, but I ignored it and hurried up the stairs where I could hear Tony in his lab. My fuzzy socks weren’t ideal for the smooth floor, but if I busted my ass at least it’d brighten Tony’s day.</p>
<p>“Hey, Tony.” I chirped and slid over to him. He had on a pair of light blue pajama pants and a band shirt. I’d call it his sleep clothes, but I've seen him in this exact outfit at 1 PM on a work day before.</p>
<p>He glanced over his shoulder with a smirk, “Morning, sunshine. What’re you doing up so early?”</p>
<p>“I’m always up at this time. What are <em>you</em> doing up so early??”</p>
<p>“Pepper woke up to get some stuff done and it woke me up.”</p>
<p>“Poor thing.” I cooed and he rolled his eyes at me. I glanced around his lab, “Have you seen my Stark Pad? I was hoping it was up here and not in my—<em>Thor’s</em> apartment.”</p>
<p>“<em>Your</em> apartment.” Tony corrected and turned to lean against the counter, “You’ve officially stayed more nights there than him, I think that means it’s yours.” Tony motioned to my outfit, “Is that why you’re still in your pajamas? You didn’t want to—<em>wait, wait</em>, is that <em>Steve’s</em> shirt?”</p>
<p>I glanced down at my shirt, as if it had suddenly changed, and nodded once, “Yeah. Why?”</p>
<p>Tony pressed his lips together into a smile that looked more like a grimace. Before I could question him, he leaned toward me putting his face right in mine. I pulled back with confused eyes, but he just scoffed, “You <em>smell</em> like him!”</p>
<p>“I did use his shampoo and body wash last night.” I replied slowly. “And then of course there was the <em>long</em>, <em>slow</em>, <em>passionate</em> love making we did this morning.”</p>
<p>“<em>Aj ‘Sunshine’ Bradshaw</em>!”</p>
<p>“That is not part of my name.”  I shook my head and tried not to laugh at Tony’s face of complete and absolute betrayal. “And I am <em>very</em> obviously joking, you <em>psychopath</em>. Although, technically speaking, I did wake up on top of him and then he was on top of me.”</p>
<p>Tony made a loud guffaw noise that I wasn’t entirely sure a human was possible of making. He clutched his chest with one hand, “I have a heart condition, Aj. Can you cut out the jokes? You’re going to give me a fucking stroke.”</p>
<p>“Stroke is definitely a brain thing, not a heart thing.”</p>
<p>“An early death is <em>still</em> an early death!”</p>
<p> I raised an eyebrow at the odd expression he wore on his face. Tony looked both betrayed and confused. Two emotions I hadn’t really seen on him before and two emotions he had no reason to be wearing. There was something going on in that genius’ brain, but God knows I’d never be able to figure it out. His look faded into a smug smile and that was even scarier. Tony cleared his throat once and pushed off the counter to move around the lab. I casually played with the with the metal around my wrists.</p>
<p>“Do me a favor”, Tony finally called out to me and I focused back on him. He was looking down at his phone while he spoke to me, “Describe your perfect date.”</p>
<p>I grinned, “Aw, are we finally gonna go on our third date?”</p>
<p>“No, I—<em>Third</em>?” Tony snapped his gaze up from his phone, “What happened to date number two?”</p>
<p>“Russia.” I shrugged.</p>
<p>He dropped his arm, phone resting at his side, with a look of disbelief, “<em>Russia</em>!? You count <em>Russia</em> as my second date with you??”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” I replied as nonchalantly as I could muster. “Still not the worst date I've had.”</p>
<p>Tony stared at me for a brief second before point to me, “We’ll unpack that later, and I'm calling you a therapist. A real one, not just Sam.” I smirked in reply, in hopes to move past this part of the conversation. Tony rolled his eyes again before shaking his head and moving back to his phone, “I’m thinking of setting you up on a blind date. Name your preference. Any specifics you want me to look for?”</p>
<p>“No.” I said with wide eyes. He was going to what??</p>
<p>“Oh, so free reign then? I like that. I work better with no restrictions—”</p>
<p>“No, no. I meant, <em>just no</em>.” I stepped toward him. “I want you to do <em>no</em> such thing.”</p>
<p>Tony had the gall to look offended, “What? You don’t trust me?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely, I do not…but this is more than my complete lack of faith in you. I don’t date, Tony.”</p>
<p>“You don’t date.”</p>
<p>“I don’t date.”</p>
<p>“<em>You don’t date??”</em></p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes at him, “Is there an echo in here or…?”</p>
<p>“Why??” Tony scoffed.</p>
<p>The quick moment of déjà vu passed quickly. Natasha had asked the same thing, and though I wasn’t super sure why the two of them wanted to get me a date, I shrugged at him like I was sure I shrugged at her. It wasn’t something I thought about a lot. It was a conversation topic that sat in the corner of my brain with the other ‘<em>unmentionables’ </em>behind a tightly locked door. Sometimes in life, the easiest way to survive was to just not think about it. Maybe that wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, but it had done me well. It was the only thing that really kept me standing.</p>
<p>“Some people date, some people don’t. I’m in the latter category.” I lifted my hand to absentmindedly chew on my thumb nail, but Tony was quick to swat my hand away from my lips. I rolled my eyes at him, “It’s just low on my totem pole of priorities. I need to get my head screwed on right before I subject some other poor soul to it.”</p>
<p>Tony crossed his arms with a small nod, “I get that. It’s smart, and you’re right, but…”</p>
<p>“But?”</p>
<p>“You do need time to heal, I'm not denying that, you are a little fucked up.”</p>
<p>I gave him a tight-lipped smile, trying to bite back a laugh. If anyone in this tower could compete with me for the title of ‘<em>Most Self-Loathing’</em> it would be Tony, “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“I know that you’re also the kind to hide behind that as an excuse for the rest of your life.” Tony smirked at me. He wasn’t wrong. I knew that. Still, this was a ‘<em>brain corner’</em> topic and I didn’t plan on pulling that string anymore. My entire head would unravel. Tony stepped toward me and clapped a hand on my shoulder, “Wanna help me with the Iron Legion?”</p>
<p>“You mean stand next to you and marvel at your genius while not touching anything?”</p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha smiled warmly at Clint who hung off her, one arm wrapped around her shoulders, while he played on his phone in the other. They were riding the elevator up to the penthouse for breakfast. JARVIS had told them food was upstairs and that’s all it really took to get Clint moving. He leaned his phone toward her again.</p>
<p>“See? So cute. Stark is insane.” Clint scoffed. It was a picture of Aj and Steve passed out on Steve’s couch. Clint had gone down to his apartment to wake Aj up and ask her something, God knew what since it had been only 6:30 in the morning, but instead of coming back with an answer he came back with the picture. “I’m gonna make this the wallpaper on every electronic device Tony uses.”</p>
<p>Natasha hummed, “You know having that picture on your phone is <em>really</em> creepy, right?”</p>
<p>“I’m her <em>father</em>—”</p>
<p>“Now it’s even creepier.”</p>
<p>The elevator doors opened, and Clint stuck his tongue out at her before pushing out of the elevator first. Natasha bit back a smile at his antics. Years and years had passed, countless missions and tasks, yet this dummy still knew exactly how to entertain her. She followed after him, wearing a pair of black yoga pants and a shirt that hung off one shoulder, and was greeted by the dining table being filled with various breakfast foods. Thor and Jane were sitting near the end by Bruce and Betty. Both women were talking and, based off their excited hand movements while they spoke, it had to be something science related. Aj sat beside Thor but it looked like she was talking to Pepper, who was beside her, and both Sam and Steve who sat across from her.</p>
<p>Clint clapped his hands loudly, drawing attention to himself, “Damn this looks good. Did you set this up Aj?”</p>
<p>“I am capable of serving breakfast in my own damn Tower.” Tony answered, walking out of the kitchen with two mugs of coffee. Clint walked forward to grab one, but Tony used his foot to kick the man back before sitting beside Pepper and handing her a cup.</p>
<p>Clint hummed, pouting, “So Pepper set it up then?”</p>
<p>The smile on Pepper’s face was all the answer anyone needed. Tony rolled his eyes, “Shut the fuck up and eat the food, Barton.”</p>
<p>Clint snickered at Tony’s expense before lightly pressing his hand to the small of Natasha’s back. He gave her a wink and turned to the kitchen to get coffee. Natasha sat down in the seat beside Steve, knowing full and well that Clint would want to sit by Tony who was at the head of the table.</p>
<p>A pleasant hum of content and calm buzzed around the table. Avenger meals were fairly common, but it was always nice when loved ones they didn’t always see often got to join. Natasha let her eyes trace down the table, absorbing the love around her, and her eyes lingered on Aj who was laughing at something Pepper said at Tony’s expense. If you had told her two months ago that Aj would not only fit in at extended Avengers breakfast but would be flourishing? Natasha wouldn’t have believed it.</p>
<p>“—as one who has gotten to know young Aj well, seeing her naked as such, I think—”</p>
<p>“Whoa, <em>whoa</em>, your royal <em>highness</em>.” Aj cut in, motioning to Thor who was at the other head of the table, “You tell that story <em>so</em> inaccurately.”</p>
<p>Thor, who was well versed in how it worked around here, was ever ready to tease her. It was mock or be mocked at Avengers tower. He held one hand up with a nod, “My apologies, I will work on that. She also saw <em>me</em> nake—”</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>!”</p>
<p>There was a round of laughter and Aj tried to pull the conversation back to her original point before Thor cut in. Natasha glanced to her left where Clint was grinning and arguing with Tony. He had his phone out so Natasha could easily guess what the argument was centered on. With a smirk of her own she leaned toward Steve, “Heard you had quite the morning.”</p>
<p>Steve, who was mid sip on his own coffee, choked and quickly set his mug down and turned to lightly glare at her, “Really, Nat?”</p>
<p>“Clint got a cute picture of the two of you.” Natasha smirked. “Want me to have him send it to you?”</p>
<p>His face briefly turned a light shade of red and he glanced over at Aj who was still arguing with the other side of the table, “He…already did.”</p>
<p>Natasha’s smile grew and she tilted her head, “Did you already make it your wallpaper, or do you need help with that?”</p>
<p>Steve chuckled with a nod, “Funny, Romanof, funny.”</p>
<p>Breakfast continued on and even after everyone was done eating they stayed at the table talking for even longer. It wasn’t often that all of them were not busy or together, and it seemed like everyone was planning to make the most of it.</p>
<p>“<em>Ms. Romanof</em>”, JARVIS spoke up suddenly, “<em>You asked me to let you know when it was 10:30</em>.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, JARVIS.” Natasha replied. Pepper, Jane, and Betty all rose from the table saying a quick goodbye to guy they were sitting by. Aj glanced around curiously but stayed in her seat with her knees pulled up to her chest casually. “Meet in the lobby?”</p>
<p>The other women chimed out their agreements and Natasha turned to look at Aj. She met her gaze and raised an eyebrow. Aj pointed to herself, “Huh?”</p>
<p>“It’s girl’s day. Come on, let’s get you ready.”</p>
<p>Aj’s confusion turned into a grin and she jumped out of her chair to hurry over to the red head. Her fuzzy socks caused her to slip once, but when Tony laughed about it she flicked him on the ear and kept moving. Natasha looped her arm through Aj’s and pulled her to the elevator.</p>
<p>It didn’t take her long to help Aj get and ready and it took her less time to get dressed and ready herself. She suggested a pair of jeans, a purple sweater, and some boots. Natasha would’ve suggested the peacoat too, but she knew Aj was going to wear the jacket James Barnes gave her anyways. The young woman always told Natasha that she didn’t need to help her out like this or buy her new clothes, but Natasha didn’t mind it. She actually preferred it.</p>
<p>Everyone in the world had a different love language. This included the Avengers and for them sometimes it was even more complicated and difficult to show it than your average person on the street. It was the trauma. For Natasha though, this was how she did it. She wasn’t like Clint who showed his care through cuddling up or hanging off anyone who stood still long enough. It wasn’t Natasha’s style, but picking styles was. She couldn’t explain why it was, but something about picking out a jacket for Steve or a new suit for Tony or an outfit for Aj and then seeing them wear it warmed her heart. It was just one of the ways she showed she cared.</p>
<p>“So, Girl’s Day?” Aj asked as they rode the elevator all the way down.</p>
<p>Natasha nodded, “It’s a tradition. Anytime we’re all in town and have time off we try to hang out on the town <em>without</em> the idiots.”</p>
<p>They walked out into the lobby where the others were waiting, and Natasha was surprised to see that Darcy had made it into town and was now standing between Jane and Pepper. The brunette turned in time to see her and Aj and threw her hands up with a victory cry, “<em>Girl’s Day!”</em></p>
<p>“Nice to see you again, Darcy.” Natasha greeted with a small smile. She tilted her head beside her, “This is Aj.”</p>
<p>“Hi, nice to—”</p>
<p>“<em>You’re</em> Aj? The girl Thor saw naked??” Darcy pointed to her.</p>
<p>Aj threw her hands up while the others laugh, “<em>How</em>?? Was it on the nine’o’clock news?”</p>
<p>Darcy grinned and stepped forward to pull Aj into a surprise hug that she returned after a moment of shock. Darcy pulled back, “The name’s Darcy. It’s nice to meet you, I've heard good things.” She lightly elbowed Aj in the ribs, her grin turning to a smirk, “And Thor’s washboard abs right??”</p>
<p>Aj furrowed her eyebrows with a chuckle, “I do not know how to answer that question in front of Thor’s girlfriend?”</p>
<p>“It’s ok. Darcy talks about Thor’s chest all the times.” Jane rolled her eyes in good nature.</p>
<p>“That isn't even an exaggeration.” Betty added with a small smile of her own.</p>
<p>Pepper nodded, “You know how Tony talks about Tony? That level.”</p>
<p>“He’s the <em>god of thunder</em> and he has a body carved by the <em>gods of gorgeous men</em>. How can I <em>not</em> talk about that??” Darcy scoffed.</p>
<p>Natasha chuckled and began to herd everyone out of the building. Maria Hill was meeting them at the spa in twenty minutes and if they didn’t leave now they’d be late to their appointment for the day.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Maria Hill was a weirdo. Maybe I shouldn’t say that about Natasha and Clint’s longtime friend, but if the shoe fit or whatever. The dark-haired woman seemed fun and it was easy to talk and get along with her, just like every woman on this ‘girl’s day’, but Maria Hill would not stop staring at her with those cold blue eyes. The only emotion the icy look held was curiosity or wariness, I couldn’t see any ill intent, but getting stared at by an Agent of SHIELD was still nerve wracking.</p>
<p>“See! I told you that style would look so badass!” Darcy chirped from over my shoulder as I stared down at my recently painted nails. I loved Pepper and Betty and Jane, they were such amazing women, but they were also still a little intimidating to me. Darcy was loud and bright and in your face, and that was <em>exactly</em> my speed of person.</p>
<p>I smirked and wiggled my fingers, “I knew I would like the navy color, but I really didn’t think I’d like the gold sparkles as much as I do.”</p>
<p>This was the first time I had ever gotten my nails professionally done and I finally understood why women liked it so much. The woman had primped and pampered my poor rough hands before applying the super nail polish. It was called gel or some shit like that, but it felt better than normal nail polish. I had picked the dark navy blue for my fingers, but Darcy had told me, well more like demanded, that I get the glitter design overlaying it. Now my navy nails had flecks of subtle gold glitter that glimmered anytime I moved my fingers.</p>
<p>“I am <em>never</em> wrong.” Darcy wrapped her arm around me. Both of us wore the thick, fluffy, white robes the spa had provided us. “Except that one time where the thing I thought was a dog turned out very much to <em>not</em> be a dog.”</p>
<p>Without elaborating on that very vague tale, she pulled me back towards the private room Natasha had rented for us to leave our belongings in as we got pampered. Speaking of, the red head was standing in the room with Maria talking in low voices when we arrived. Both women were also in their robes and the moment we stepped in they turned to us with smiles. If Darcy had noticed their tense conversation like I had she didn’t mention it.</p>
<p>“Look at her nails!” Darcy cheered and pulled her arm away from me to grab my hands and shove them forward. “Starry night sky, eh?”</p>
<p>“Cute.” Maria smirked and showed off her own fingers which had been painted a light nude color.</p>
<p>Natasha took one of my hands to admire them, “Very nice.” She smiled and showed me her own hands. They were painted a shade of dark maroon and had a similar glitter effect as mine but with silver rather than gold. “Looks like we’re matching.”</p>
<p>I beamed at her, “Aw! Too bad you didn’t go with gold too.”</p>
<p>“I thought about it, but if I went with gold Tony would never shut up about me stealing his color scheme.” Natasha rolled her eyes and I laughed. She was 100% right.</p>
<p>Darcy glanced around, “Where is everyone else?”</p>
<p>“Massage time.” Maria replied. “I think Jane is already in the room waiting for you, Darcy.”</p>
<p>“Oooh. You get me a cute masseuse, Nat?” Darcy asked.</p>
<p>“Don’t I always?” Natasha tilted her head with a smirk.</p>
<p>Darcy let out a cheer before pinching one of my cheeks and hurrying off to her massage room. They had told me were going to do massages, but I hadn’t been entirely positive how I would react to that. Now that the time was here, I knew the answer. Badly. I was handling it badly.</p>
<p>“Our room is over here, Aj. Since Hill was late she’s stuck alone.”</p>
<p>Maria chuckled, “Hardly a punishment.”</p>
<p>Natasha and I were sharing a massage room. I could feel a sheen of cold sweat on the back of my neck. I didn’t even have a sports bra on under this. My hands tightened on the robe around myself. Maria gave me another curious glance that I ignored.</p>
<p>“Actually, uh, I’ll take the ‘<em>by myself’</em> room or whatever.” I let out a laugh that I hoped didn’t sound too awkward. “I’m sure you and Maria wanna catch up or whatever.”</p>
<p>Maria’s curiosity grew and Natasha raised an eyebrow at me. I gave her a tight-lipped grin and after a moment she nodded in agreement. There were a lot of things I liked about Natasha Romanof, but the fact that she never pushed moments like this was definitely in the top five. The redhead let me know she’d be in the room next door if I needed her and we went our separate ways.</p>
<p>I took in a shaky breath before stepping into the room set aside for me. The lighting was dim, lit only by candles, and the air was warm and heavy. It should have a calming effect on anyone normal, but it only put me more on edge. It was too dark, I couldn’t see at my best, and the air felt too thick for my liking. A woman walked through a door on the other side of the room and gave me a soft smile. At least it was a woman.</p>
<p>“Hello, my name is Shelby. I’ll step out again so you can disrobe and lay down on the table—”</p>
<p>“Uh, no?” I interrupted her and her eyes widened slightly. “It’s not you. My friends set this up and I loved getting my nails done and the facial and foot massage, but uh…”</p>
<p>Shelby gave me another warm and understanding smile, “You aren’t a fan of massages, huh?”</p>
<p>I couldn’t say that I wasn’t a fan since I had technically never had one, but that was the gist of it. The idea of laying down naked, face down on a table, while a stranger touched me sounded like a new version of hell. Literally. If Satan were to handcraft my own personal corner of hell it would look a lot like this. Maybe more fire, but still.</p>
<p>“If you would like”, Shelby motioned to the table, “You can lie here face up and I can light incense for you. You can just take a moment to rest and relax alone.” I nodded once in surprise and she turned to a table against the wall, “Would you like Sandalwood, Japanese Rose, or Lavender?”</p>
<p>I sat down on the table, “Um, Sandalwood?”</p>
<p>“Of course, ma’am.” Shelby pulled a few sticks out from the table drawer, lit them, and then gave me one last smile before moving to the door, “I’ll be back in one hour.”</p>
<p>Then she was gone. Huh. I swung my legs onto the table and just laid down as the smell of Sandalwood filled the heavy air around me. This was kind of nice. Shelby knew what he was talking about. I guess I wasn’t the only person who shows up for an unwanted massage. I rested my hands on my stomach, closed my eyes, and tried to empty my busy mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony had always thought of his lab as his own personal getaway. A safe zone. The R&amp;D labs were fun, but they weren’t like his lab up in the penthouse that he shared these days with Bruce. His Malibu workshop had been the top tier place where he took comfort, but because of him that was at the bottom of the ocean still. Tony was very sure, convinced, that the only reason he hadn’t murdered Hawkeye yet was because he didn’t want to spill blood on his sacred lab floor. It would be like committing homicide in a church.</p>
<p>“What do you think they’ll name their first kid?”</p>
<p>Tony turned to glare at the archer who was sitting crossed leg on top of one of his lab table tops, “Probably Clint after their long lost, <em>murdered</em> friend.”</p>
<p>“That would be adorable.” Clint smirked.</p>
<p>“You know what else would be adorable? <em>My foot up your as</em>—"</p>
<p>His statement was cut off when Sam pushed through the lab door. It wasn’t often that the man spent time in this lab, and he took the chance to look around and hum in admiration. Sam bobbed his head up and down, “Very nice. Very ‘<em>Mad Scientist’</em>-esque.”</p>
<p>“Get Katniss before I slaughter the tribute.” Tony pointed to Clint who was still smirking like a smug little asshole.</p>
<p>Clint snickered again, “Sam agrees with us.”</p>
<p>“What do I agree with?” Sam crossed his arms curiously.</p>
<p>Clint waved for him to come over and pulled out his phone. Tony rolled his eyes and grumbled something under his breath while Sam peeked at the phone screen. It was a picture of Aj and Steve sleeping on the couch, they must have fallen asleep watching Netflix last night, but they were both peacefully curled around each other.</p>
<p>Sam chuckled, “Guess that explains why he was late to meet me for our run and chipper as hell.” He raised an eyebrow at Clint. “The picture taking is a little creepy though, you know that right?”</p>
<p>“We are not arguing whether or not I’m creepy—”</p>
<p>“You are though.” Sam and Tony cut in at the same time.</p>
<p>Clint continued as if he hadn’t been insulted, “We are arguing about what Steve and Aj are gonna name their kids.”</p>
<p>“No.” Tony shook his head and stepped closer to the two of them, “We are arguing about the fact that Aj is not, and <em>will not</em>, be dating Steve Rogers. I’m going to find her someone else. Maybe a movie star.”</p>
<p>Tony and Clint dove right back into their argument while Sam tried to piece apart the words that they were throwing over one another. Sam stepped forward and waved their words out of the air. Tony rolled his eyes again when Clint stuck his tongue out at him.</p>
<p>“I’m cranking the heat up in <em>all</em> the air ducts.” Tony threatened.</p>
<p>“Wow, ok, <em>rude</em>.”</p>
<p>Sam chuckled, “Hold up, hold up, I will settle this argument on behalf of me and BFF Natasha Romanof.”</p>
<p>“BFF?” Tony raised his eyebrow at him, “Really?”</p>
<p>“If you idiots pressure Aj into dating someone, you will regret it.”</p>
<p>Clint smirked, “What’re you gonna do, Wilson?”</p>
<p>“I am going to watch happily as Nat beats both your asses.”</p>
<p>There was a beat of silence where they both let the threat roll around in their heads. It was entirely plausible. Clint began to pout, but Tony just nodded to himself in thought. He could work with this. After the conversation he had with Aj this morning, he knew that trying to wrestle her into a date would be more trouble than it was worth right now. There was no point in introducing stubborn Aj to anyone when she didn’t want to meet them. Tony was a patient man. Well, sort of. Ok, not really, but he could wait when it came to this.</p>
<p>Clint snapped his fingers, his smirk had come back full force, “But you do agree with me, Wilson?”</p>
<p>“That Steve and Aj are going to have kids? No, I think—”</p>
<p>“Do you think they’re cute??” Clint corrected.</p>
<p>Sam twisted his lips, “We all know Steve has a thing for strong, independent women. I think he needs someone as fun as Aj and I think Aj needs someone firm and loyal like Steve, but as her <em>self proclaimed therapist</em>—”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah.” Tony recalled his earlier conversation. “She said one of those ‘<em>red flag’</em> things again.”</p>
<p>The Avengers, under the advice of Sam ‘<em>Aj’s sort of therapist’</em> Wilson, were keeping an ear and eye out for red flags. They were looking for traumas to arise. Aj was doing so well these days, but they were very aware that her past was littered without terrible, horrible things and those kinds of things usually picked the worst time to show their ugly faces. They didn’t want Aj to stumble on her path of healing because an old memory or scar knocked her to the ground. So, that left the Avengers trying to catch onto those monsters before they could even try.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Sam questioned curiously and even Clint had let his teasing features morph into concern. There was a time for mocking and a time for worrying.</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, “She told me the ‘<em>I don’t date’</em> spiel, but before that she said she counted our second date as Russia and when I questioned it, she said <em>‘it still wasn’t her worst date’</em>.” He crossed his arms and thought back to the brief look of annoyance that crossed her features when she said it. It was like she was annoyed with herself for even bringing it up but tried to play it off as a joke. Tony could’ve been blowing this entirely out of proportion, but he wasn’t risking anything. “She gave me no hints on what she meant, but I got a weird feeling from it.”</p>
<p>Clint hummed and glanced to Sam, “I can ask Nat to dig.”</p>
<p>“No.” Sam shook his hand at them both. Tony knew the guy knew what he was talking about with this shit. He also knew that he definitely didn’t have the knowledge in anything therapeutic. Tony’s idea of therapy was a stiff glass of brandy. So, he would deter to Sam on this. “That’s definitely not something we want to drag up. We gotta wait until she comes to us on that. Aj’s done really good, we don’t wanna push her faster than she’s already going.”</p>
<p>“You’re the expert.” Tony replied and glanced down at his phone where he had a text from Happy. “I got work to do, you guys know where the door is.”</p>
<p>Clint clapped Tony on the shoulder after jumping from the counter with a small nod. Tony returned the nod and slapped him on the back as well before the archer picked the topic back up with Sam while they walked out. Tony quickly replied to Happy’s unnecessarily panicked text.</p>
<p>“J.” Tony called out and snapped his fingers in the space in front of him. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”</p>
<p>“<em>Would you like me to activate ‘Setting Sun’ settings, sir</em>?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, put it on training wheels. 50%.” Tony replied as his screens began to blink on in front of him. ‘<em>Setting Sun’</em> was a program he made some time ago, but he hadn’t wanted to activate it just on a whim. This seemed fitting though. The final screen appeared and suddenly each of his holographic screens flashed a picture of Aj and Steve on the couch together. Tony rolled his eyes, “<em>Barton</em>!”</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p> If anyone in this world needed a massage it was Aj ‘<em>Tense Shoulders’</em> Bradshaw. Natasha had known when she made the appointment though that it was a 50/50 shot of Aj actually going through with it. Admittedly, she had pushed a little. She wanted to see if Aj would take it on or bow out. Natasha wasn’t surprised that she bowed out and she didn’t fault her for it. It had been a big step to take for someone like Aj to let a stranger touch her in a professional but vulnerable setting. What did surprise Natasha was that Aj hadn’t been up front about it. They had gotten far enough along that Aj wasn’t worried about voicing her opinion. If she didn’t like something or was uncomfortable she didn’t spare their feelings anymore. She spoke up.</p>
<p>So, if you were to follow that logic then Aj should’ve just told her that she didn’t want to be touched by someone. Why hadn’t she? Natasha had a few theories.</p>
<p>She greeted Pepper and Betsy as she passed them, a romper on a hanger in one hand, and continued to seek out Aj in the medium sized store. Natasha spotted the dark-haired woman digging through a selection of warm scarves. Her eyes dragged over to her with a small smile.</p>
<p>“Hey, Nat.”</p>
<p>“Find anything good?” Natasha asked.</p>
<p>“Meh.” Aj shrugged then nodded to her, “Where’d Maria go?”</p>
<p>“Work.” Natasha left the answer vague. Really the only Maria had even left work at all to join them was because she wanted to meet Aj in person. A fact that once Clint found out would have him pissed as hell. He had gone an extra mile to keep anything SHIELD related far, far away from Aj. “I’m sorry about the spa. I should’ve been more mindful about the massages.”</p>
<p>Aj’s eyes widened at her words and she quickly shook her head, “No, Nat, you have nothing to be sorry for. The spa was amazing. I’m just a weirdo.”</p>
<p>“You are, but not for that reason.” Natasha smiled and Aj chuckled with a shrug. The redhead lifted the hanger, “Take a look at this.”</p>
<p>Aj’s eyes took in the black romper. The front had a high neckline that tied around the neck in a bow leaving the arms bare. It also sloped down the sides, covering everything that needed covering, but leaving the entire back open. The lower half was also cut short ending about mid-thigh.  </p>
<p>“It’s super cute, Nat. You’d look <em>amazing</em> in it. I mean, you’d look amazing in a damn garbage bag so of course—" Aj admired and felt the material.</p>
<p>“For you, dumbass.” She replied and pretended to ignore the way Aj’s frame tensed. Natasha continued, “It’s obviously a spring outfit, but it’s on sale right now.”</p>
<p>Aj’s mind was working overtime for something to say. She could see the look of light panic in her usually warm eyes. Aj finally let out a light laugh and shook her head casually, “It’s cute, Nat, but I don’t know. Don’t you think it’s a little risqué? It shows a <em>lot</em> of skin and I don’t know if that’s quite my style.”</p>
<p>“You’ve never been shy before. I've seen you walk around the tower in spandex shorts and your sports bras.” Natasha chuckled.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but that’s just around you guys.”</p>
<p>“Your dress last night showed your shoulders and nearly your entire right leg.”</p>
<p>Aj was scrambling and Natasha felt a pang of guilt for discreetly pressing like this. Darcy suddenly bounced over, dragging Jane with her, and demanded for Aj to come look at boots with them. Relief flashed over her features as Darcy dragged her away. Natasha hummed to herself in thought as she mentally tucked away a new item to put on the list of red flags her and the other had been collecting.</p>
<p>This was interesting in the worst kind of way.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p>Girl’s Day had been a blast. It was technically my first Girl’s Day ever. At least, it was the first I could remember. Unless you counted me and Hammer Head getting in that huge bar fight a few years ago as a Girl’s Day. This had been better though. I had made new friends. Every time I did that it still caught me off guard.  </p>
<p>“<em>Hey, I’m gonna order the food. What kind of wings do you want?”</em> Steve asked through the bathroom door.</p>
<p>His voice had startled me, and it took a minute to fully register his question, “Uh, can you get me teriyaki if they have it?”</p>
<p>“<em>Sure</em>.” Steve replied back and I heard him walk away while talking on the phone.</p>
<p>Jane had felt bad about kicking me out of the room I had been sleeping in, but I reassured her that it was more than fine. She even tried to give it back to me, but I told her to enjoy her time with Thor and that I could just stay with Steve again. It really wasn’t too big of deal. Especially since this time I had the time and forethought to pack a small bag of my own clothes and bathroom items.</p>
<p>It was why I was standing in front of Steve’s bathroom mirror unpacking a few shower items. My eyes kept drifting up from my busy hands to my own face in the mirror. I tried to keep ignoring the nagging at the back of my head, but after accidentally knocking the can of my shaving cream into the sink I gave up and just stared at myself. I looked great. I looked healthy and strong and happy and it was because I was. I was.</p>
<p>The door that kept that dark corner of my brain separated from my everyday aspects cracked open and before I knew it, I was stripping out of my day clothes. I pulled my jeans off, socks, peeled off my sweater, and then just stared. My lightly tanned skin was a shade lighter since I wasn’t spending much time outside due to the weather, but it was mark free. No new wounds, no dark bruises, just healthy skin.</p>
<p>I turned away from the mirror and reached back to unhook my pink bra. It fell to the floor and I just stood there for a shaky moment. It felt like a lot of time had passed, maybe hours, but since Steve wasn’t banging on the door looking for me, I assumed it had actually only been seconds. After taking in a sharp breath, I turned my head and looked over my shoulder into the mirror. My eyes traced the ugly <em>‘x’</em> on my left shoulder. There was no hiding that one. Everyone had already seen it and it hardly even bothered me anymore. Then my eyes slowly traced down my back to the other ugly marks carved into my skin. It went across in a line where the bottom of my sports bra usually sat.</p>
<p>It was thirty-four lines in total.</p>
<p>It was easy to count because they were carved into tally marks.</p>
<p>Every time I did something that Boss really hated, losing him money or back talking, he’d carve a new line. The fact that over five years I only had 34 marks was kind of a miracle. The day to day stuff he’d just hit me for. A punch to the face, a kick to the gut, those kinds of marks were easily hidden by the ones I got from the ring and it all blurred together. These were the moments Boss wanted me to <em>never</em> forget.</p>
<p>He’d caress my face, whisper soft words about how pretty I was, and then carve his line in a place where it couldn’t be seen by anyone by him. It was actually a small blessing that he put them in a place that was easily hidden. Out of sight, out of mind. I could ignore the scars if I didn’t have to look at them every day.</p>
<p>There were a few times I thought I’d be found out. I thought for sure the hospital would’ve mentioned the scars to the Avengers, but they didn’t. Then there was running into Thor yesterday half naked. In the panic of seeing him I hadn’t even thought about the scars. It was easy for me to shove away and forget. Repression and all that shit. Still, my normal bras didn’t cover the scars like a sports bra did. Luckily, I hadn’t turned my back to Thor, and I had turned again when Steve came in. Then his coat covered them for me. Even today, getting out of that massage, felt like another bullet dodged. I knew they wanted to help, and I loved them for it, but the thought of them looking at me… The thought of seeing nothing but pity in their eyes at the poor, little tortured girl made me nauseous. That wasn’t who I was. It wasn’t who I wanted to be.</p>
<p>If I spent years refusing to mentally label myself a victim, then I sure as hell wasn’t going to let them outwardly label me one.</p>
<p>Quickly, I grabbed my sleep clothes and began to get dressed. I slid the baggy shirt I usually slept in over my head, and as the shirt covered my scars, I let that door close again. Hell, I slammed the damn thing closed. Shoved a chair under the handle this time too for good measure. I splashed some cold water onto my face, twisted my messy hair into a bun out of my face, and let the good mood I had been in settle back in my chest. It wasn’t time to dwell. It was time for Netflix and take-out food.</p>
<p> </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Accidents Happen Accidentally</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanksgiving is gonna end up in two parts apparently lol. Planned on one but once I start writing I just don't shut up oops. Thanks again to everyone reading! I'd love, love, love to hear some feedback from anyone checking this out (:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"We need to find warmth where we can. Our hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Our bodies wrapped in our favorite sweater. Our eyes, catching the warmth in our lover's gaze. It's a cold world we live in. Find the warmth." –rose c.l.</em>
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<p>"Oh, hey, I just thought of this. Add this to your notes on things to put in the Avengers compound, I want—"</p>
<p>"Wait, the Avengers <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"The Avengers compound. You know? The compound for the Avengers."</p>
<p>"Tony, since <em>when</em> has there been an <em>Avengers compound?"</em></p>
<p>"Well there isn't one yet, but there <em>will</em> be one. Ground's already been broken. I really do think I mentioned this to you before."</p>
<p>"I am <em>1000%</em> positive you have not, Stark."</p>
<p>"…<em>Are you sure?"</em></p>
<p>I sat in the single seat, knees pulled up to my chest, with my head turned away from the TV to stare at Tony who was playing on his phone on the couch beside me. Despite definitely having homicidal intent in my gaze, the genius, playboy, billionaire, <em>dead man</em> just gave me a nonchalant shrug.</p>
<p>Thor, who had been further down on the same couch as Tony, suddenly stood up with a smile and clapped his hands, "I will be going now. My stay here on Midgard won't be for too long and I'd rather not spend any time in your law system as a witness to Stark's timely demise." He clapped Tony on the shoulder with another grin, Tony's own nonchalance starting to crack, and began to leave, "It was nice knowing you, man of Iron, you will be missed."</p>
<p>Once the blond god of thunder was out of sight, Tony slowly turned his gaze back to me. He had the audacity to paste a wide, sheepish grin on his features, "<em>Oops</em>?"</p>
<p>"What the <em>fuck</em> is an Avengers compound?" I nearly growled out. Tony opened his mouth and I pointed at him sharply, "If you say a <em>compound for Avengers</em>, I will <em>drag</em> you out to the deck and <em>throw</em> you off."</p>
<p>Tony chuckled, "The Tower is great, of course it is I designed it, but I thought it was time we expand. Stark Industries owns a bunch of land upstate, so I figured why not? Real pretty area. It's got a lake and everything."</p>
<p>I buried my face into my hand with a groan, "How am I <em>just</em> hearing about this now and on my day off no less?"</p>
<p>"It's hardly even SI business, it's more just Tony business? So, no real stress."</p>
<p>"Tony, <em>everything</em> involving you is stressful."</p>
<p>Tony smirked at me, "Have I told you how pretty you look today?"</p>
<p>With a roll of my eyes, I pulled my phone out of my hoodie pocket and motioned for him to start talking. At this point, I should expect this kind of behavior. Tony leaned forward and began to dive into the details he had forgotten to tell me. Apparently, the compound was being built on his land, like he had said, and it was going to be <em>crazy</em> expansive. An entire campus of heroes. There would be rooms for the Avengers, much like they had floors here, multiple training areas, a cafeteria, his usual coffee shops, meeting rooms, and anything else a superhero might need to do superhero duties. If there was one thing to be said about Tony Stark it was that he did nothing halfway.</p>
<p>"If things stay on task, I'm estimating construction being done sometime next spring?" Tony shrugged, "Then we can start the transfer over."</p>
<p>"Alright, I have all that down, and you're also an idiot." I gave him a grin. Tony winked at me and I quickly stood up. According to my watch it was nearly one in the afternoon. Thanksgiving dinner was set to start at 6 PM tonight, but most of the guests would start trickling in earlier than that. Catering would be bringing in food and doing final touches in the penthouse kitchen around 4:30ish. "I'm gonna go get ready."</p>
<p>Tony gave me a curious look, "Already?"</p>
<p>"Well I have some work to do so I figured I'd get ready now and do that." I replied snidely. Tony snickered and I rolled my eyes again at him. I walked past the television to the elevator and the doors slid open before I even got there.</p>
<p>Clint, who was stepping out now, grinned at me, "Kid! What're you doing? You busy?"</p>
<p>"Not really. I was just gonna go get dressed." I motioned to my pajamas.</p>
<p>"Wanna go spar?" He asked excitedly.</p>
<p>It took me 0.02 seconds to immediately change my mind about doing work. I told him I'd meet him on the training floor and hurried down to my own to throw on some training clothes. Only ten minutes later, I was strolling out of the elevator onto the training floor wearing a red sports bra and spandex set while braiding my hair. Clint was there, but I was surprised to see him talking to Sam and Steve. All three were in their own training gear.</p>
<p>"Hey, y'all." I called out. The more the merrier.</p>
<p>Sam and Steve greeted me, and Clint threw me a roll of tape he had been holding. I caught it with ease and began to wrap it around my hands avoiding my metal bracelets. I made quick work of it but padded my knuckles well. I was halfway done with my second hand when I heard Sam whistle. I glanced up, still taping, and Sam nodded at me, "You're fast at that."</p>
<p>"Yeah. It's be fast or don't get tape." I chuckled and finished up my hand, tossing the tape aside, and motioned to him, "Sometimes they'd start fights early to try and catch me off guard and I <em>hate</em> fighting without at least something on."</p>
<p>Steve scooped up my yellow gloves. He tucked one under his arm and then opened the other so I could slip my hand in. Steve did the same to the second, strapping both for me, and I gave him a thankful smile. Having people help me prep my hands was such a small thing, but it made me feel so warm.</p>
<p>"How many fights did you usually do a night?" Sam asked. Steve and Clint both shot him a look and my eyes widened slightly. The question didn't bother me at all. I had just gotten used to them not bringing it up. "Just curious."</p>
<p>I shrugged, "Uh, depends. On my marathon nights it was usually like 10? Those were back to back. On normal days it was probably just 4 to 6 and those had breaks between them."</p>
<p>"The night we met, was that a marathon night?" Clint asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Your agent pal was number 10. I think she had a five-round marathon. That's usually how they start new fighters." I hummed in thought while beginning to stretch. "Actually, like 75% of my nights were marathon fights now that I think about it."</p>
<p>Steve blinked in surprise, "That's a <em>lot</em> of fights."</p>
<p>"I guess, but the competition wasn't so bad." I replied. Most nights I was fighting people I fought all the damn time. People like Hammer Head who were just like me. Every few days or so we'd have fresh faces show up, like that one agent, and give the ring a chance but most didn't stay long. It was hard to make a career in the ring and honestly, I was a little jealous of the people who failed. Making a career there was a death sentence. "Plus, like I said before I like fighting so…"</p>
<p>Clint pulled me up off the ground, "Because you're good at it?"</p>
<p>"Because you don't have to think." I smirked and immediately threw a punch. Clint ducked under and continued to dodge every attack I threw as I made forward progress and he backpedaled.</p>
<p>Hawkeye sidestepped me, "Come on, Aj. Gotta be quicker."</p>
<p>Clint lunged forward to grab me, but I swung under his arm and elbowed him hard in the sternum. The air left his lungs and I reset my position as he stumbled back. I smirked in pride, "That quick enough?"</p>
<p>"That was good." Clint wagged his finger at me. "Now it's time for your next lesson. Guys?"</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes in confusion and caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I ducked just in time to avoid an attack from Sam only to stumble as Steve lunged forward. Unfortunately, I was too unbalanced to stay on my feet and ended up on my back. Before I could try to roll back up, Clint threw a punch down and I flinched, but he stopped his fist an inch from my nose.</p>
<p>"I have some questions." I said slowly, peeking out of one eye. "Starting with, uh, what the fuck?"</p>
<p>Clint stepped away and Steve offered me his hand with a smile to pull me up. The archer motioned to me, "You are <em>very</em> good one on one, but in our world you usually don't get lucky enough for it to be a one on one kind of fight. Did you ever fight multiple people in the ring?"</p>
<p>"Boss would throw me in with doubles sometimes just to screw with me."</p>
<p>"And how did that go?"</p>
<p>"I got my ass kicked." I replied.</p>
<p>Clint nodded and motioned to Steve and Sam who just grinned at me, "That's what we're here for."</p>
<p>"To kick my ass?"</p>
<p>"Well, yes, that." Clint nodded, "But also to teach you how to juggle multiple attackers. There's an art to it."</p>
<p>I could feel a slow grin fill my face. Clint wasn't wrong. Being in a fight never really ever scared me. Not to the degree it probably should, and it was because I was confident in my skills. Maybe at the end I wouldn't always win, but I knew I could do damage. Group fights though? That was not a skillset in my arsenal. Not in the slightest.</p>
<p>"How are you so happy about that?" Sam leaned forward and wrapped his arm around my neck, "Clint just said we're gonna kick your ass."</p>
<p>"I'm always happy when I get to learn a new fighting tactic." I replied then gave him a warm smile with my head tilted, "Plus, I also get to hang out with y'all."</p>
<p>Sam began to draw out the word '<em>aw'</em>, but I grabbed the arm he had around me, tucked myself in, and then slipped him over my shoulder. He hit the floor with a thud that Steve and Clint just laughed at. When his eyes made met mine, I winked, "Happy Turkey Day, Sammy."</p>
<p>"Now you're gonna get it." Sam rolled back up and lunged at me.</p>
<p>I had gotten significantly better at blocking, mostly because my tactic wasn't just '<em>get hit then hit back' </em>anymore, and I was able to block the punches Sam was throwing at me almost too easily. The corner of my lips twitched into a smirk, but it didn't last long. I blocked one more attack just as someone from behind me cut my legs out from under me. The air left my lungs when I hit the ground. That was on me.</p>
<p>"Rule number one, <em>be aware</em>. You're usually pretty good at situational awareness, but it's easy for anyone to get tunnel vision in a fight. It's natural survival instinct." Clint explained, pulling me up, "You have to fight that urge."</p>
<p>Steve raised his hand with a raised eyebrow, "I thought we agreed that rule one should be <em>not</em> to fight multiple people. There's nothing wrong with running when you know you're outmatched."</p>
<p>"Yeah, we all read the history books, <em>Captain America</em>, when have you ever taken that advice yourself?" Sam chuckled and Steve shot him a look.</p>
<p>"That's a good idea, but I'm putting money on the fact that Aj would never be smart enough to run. Am I right?" Clint turned to give me a questioning look.</p>
<p>I crossed my arms and tried to pathetically defend myself, "Well, you never <em>know</em>—"</p>
<p>"No. She wouldn't." Clint cut in and I really couldn't disagree with him. Unfortunately, running had never been my style. Would've saved myself a lot of pain if I had learned that skill years ago. The only thing I knew how to run from was emotional maturity. "Now, next rule, you never let yourself get stuck between two or more people."</p>
<p>I nodded, "I know that."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I remember when you met us that first night. You were good about trying to get Nat and I both in front of you instead of being stuck between us. Not that it would've helped you there." Clint snickered and I rolled my eyes at his very true statement. "Third rule? Do <em>not</em> let yourself get taken to the ground. If you hit the ground when you have multiple people after you it's a death sentence."</p>
<p>I noticed Steve, Sam, and Clint's features all morphed into a serious look at the mentioning of this last rule. This sparring session with Clint had taken a bit of an odd turn. I wasn't complaining, this was something I really wanted to learn and practice, but I could see that "<em>Avengers paranoia"</em> seeped into their faces. Like they were expecting a group of their enemies to swing through the window and wrestle me to the floor. That was highly unlikely though. Wasn't it?</p>
<p>"Got it." I nodded my confirmation.</p>
<p>Clint gave me an encouraging smile, "Good. Come here." He pulled me toward him then swapped places so he now stood in front of the three of us. Steve was a little behind my left shoulder and Sam was a foot or so to my right. "Your goal in a fight with multiple assailants is to try and keep it one on one the best you can. Realistically, you can only effectively fight one person at a time. So, you circle." Clint reached out and grabbed my shoulders, "The person closest to you in target one. Then as you fight them", Sam moved toward Clint and he yanked me forward and circled to the right a little so both other men were still in front of him, "You watch and keep the field in front of you if you can. Then when you take the first one down, you move to the next closest."</p>
<p>"Alright, can we try now?" I shrugged out of his grip on my shoulders and reset my position in front of the three of them. Clint nodded once, his usual way of asking if I was ready, and I returned the nod while pulling my hands up in front of my face.</p>
<p>Then they attacked.</p>
<p>For the next hour, that's all we did. The three of them would gang up on me, kick my ass, and then we would reset, and I'd try again. Every once in a while, we would pause just long enough for one of them to correct me on something or give me a tip, but then we would be back at it again. Luckily, I was actually starting to get the gang of it. It was tough to ignore my "<em>tunnel vision</em>" instinct, but I was getting better at dividing my attention which I guess was the point of this in the first place. I also hadn't hit the ground in the past 15 minutes either so that was a victory if nothing else was. Granted, I knew each of them were pulling their punches so maybe it wasn't a <em>huge</em> victory.</p>
<p>"Keep moving." Clint barked while I was blocking hits from Steve. Sam was creeping in from the side so I side-stepped to the right trying to keep all the men in my line of sight. Steve smirked at me before throwing another punch and I shuffled back to avoid it. I was dripping sweat and exhaustion while Steve still looked runway ready.</p>
<p>Life honestly wasn't fair.</p>
<p>I saw an opening and a surge of excitement shot through me. Quickly, I ducked under Steve's arm when he swung, slamming my elbow as hard as I could into his side, and then lunged forward to grab Sam and throw my knee into his chest. My victory was short lived because right as Sam stumbled back I realized I had <em>no idea</em> where Clint was. I spun on my heel only to catch a punch with my face and go sprawling back.</p>
<p>Clint cursed loudly and my face ached as I laid on my back. Clint was in my line of vision again and he reached forward to lightly touch my face, "<em>Jesus Christ.</em> Tasha is gonna <em>scalp</em> me."</p>
<p>"I'll grab an ice pack." Sam chuckled and jogged off.</p>
<p>Steve knelt down beside me and grabbed my shoulder to pull me back up into a sitting position. I scrunched my nose, that same ache washing over my features, and lifted my hand to touch my nose. It wasn't broken and there was no blood. My left cheekbone was throbbing though.</p>
<p>"You alright?" Steve questioned, worry drawn on his face. He lifted his own hand to lightly touch my nose and cheek to check for himself.</p>
<p>I forced a grin, "I've taken worse hits before, Steve."</p>
<p>"That's gonna bruise. Oh, man, I'm so dead." Clint groaned. "I thought you knew where I was. Shit, I'm sorry, Aj."</p>
<p>"It's fine, Clint." I chuckled. "It was my bad. I did lose sight of you. Got too excited."</p>
<p>Sam jogged back over, cracking the ice pack then shaking it, and lightly set it on my face. I lifted my hand again to hold it over my left cheekbone and eye. Steve was scolding Clint, who was kicking himself, while Sam checked the rest of my features. I let out a loud laugh and all three of them stopped fussing.</p>
<p>"She's laughing for no reason. You gave her a damned concussion." Sam shot at Clint.</p>
<p>I shook my head and pulled the ice away with a smile, "I got three Avengers <em>cooing</em> over me just because I got hurt during a <em>sparring</em> session. I think there are girls in the world who would trade their <em>kidney</em> for this opportunity."</p>
<p>"Two Avengers and Sam." Clint smirked.</p>
<p>Sam snapped his gaze to him, "Hey, <em>Avenger</em>, at least I'm not sucker-punching women."</p>
<p>Clint groaned and began to argue with Sam. Steve shook his head and began to help me up from the ground. He nodded his head to me, "You sure you're ok?"</p>
<p>"Seriously, I am." I put the ice pack back on my face, but just on my cheekbone, "I think that was the one punch of that entire fight that y'all <em>didn't</em> hold back on."</p>
<p>"Who said we were holding back?" Steve smirked and grabbed the hand that wasn't holding the ice pack. He pulled off my glove, tossing it aside, and began to unwrap my hand.</p>
<p>I scoffed, "I wasn't born yesterday, Rogers." Steve quirked an eyebrow at me. I swapped the ice pack to my other hand so he could do the same to my left hand what he did to my right. I flexed my hand when he finished, "Thanks."</p>
<p>"Least I could do since Clint sucker punched you." Steve replied.</p>
<p>"<em>Oh my God</em>, it was a fucking accident!" Clint cried out.</p>
<p>Sam mumbled something I didn't catch, and Clint whipped around and began to argue again. Steve rolled his eyes and took my arm in his hand to drag me toward the elevator. We left the other two men in the training room and Steve didn't hesitate to hit the button to my apartment and abandon them.</p>
<p>"Lemme see again." Steve mumbled and peeled back the ice pack. I watched him as his eyes studied my face. He hummed and moved my hand back to my face. "Probably should let Bruce take a look."</p>
<p>The door opened and he walked into my apartment with me. Hopefully, Jane and Thor weren't here right now. It sounded and felt like it was empty though. I grabbed my phone off the couch, tossed the ice pack down, and turned to Steve, "Let's take a picture."</p>
<p>"Right now?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>I opened up snapchat and flipped the camera to face the two of us. Through the screen I could see light swelling and a red mark that traced the upper line of my cheekbone. I doubted the eye itself would bruise. I stuck my lower lip out in a pout while Steve failed to bite back an amused smile behind me. Once the picture was taken, I typed out a frowny face as my caption and sent it to Natasha.</p>
<p>"Thanks for helping me train, Steve." I chirped. "That was a lot of fun."</p>
<p>"We should've been more careful." He twisted his lips in mild annoyance.</p>
<p>I chuckled, "I'm not made of glass. I promise I'm fine."</p>
<p>Steve motioned to it while moving toward the elevator, "Make sure you keep icing it. Get the swelling down."</p>
<p>"Sir, yes, sir, Captain Rogers." I gave him a small salute and he rolled his eyes at me. Steve chuckled and checked on me one last time before finally getting back on the elevator and leaving. I skipped to my bathroom to get back on track with my original plans. I was now behind an hour and I had a bruised cheekbone, but sometimes those ended up being the best kind of days.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The first rule of being on the run was not creating habits. A different path every day, a different task, a different everything made it harder to track you down. He knew that. Hell, he followed it in nearly every aspect of his life these days. Except for one thing. The diner.</p>
<p>The diner was just a small, family run restaurant that he found in the center of town. Despite being in the center of town, it was rarely ever busy. In fact, most of the people who came here were regulars. Kind of like him now.</p>
<p>Bucky sat at a table in the back, by a window, where he could see the front door and the only door going into and out of the back kitchen. The first time he had come here he hadn't known exactly why he grew so attached to it. It wasn't the mismatched décor or even the food. It wasn't until the fourth time he came here that he realized what it was. If Bucky closed his eyes, ignored the hum of Romanian being spoken around him, then it felt like he was home. There was something in the air, the aura of this small little restaurant, that reminded him of a small diner he used to go to with Steve. If he ever had to explain it in words he wouldn't be able to, but Bucky knew how he felt.</p>
<p>He ran his non-gloved hand through his hair and closed his eyes again.</p>
<p>"Are you finished?"</p>
<p>Bucky's eyes snapped open, too lost in nostalgia for a moment, and they landed on a familiar waitress. Her short blonde hair ended a little below her ears and her large, brown eyes were always filled with warmth.</p>
<p>"Yes." He replied back in Romanian.</p>
<p>She gave him another smile before taking his plate and disappearing. At this point, he should leave. Grab his hat, toss some money on the table, and bail. Today he was more stuck in his head than usual though.</p>
<p>Bucky was surprised when the waitress came back again. This time she had a small plate of some kind of pie and she hesitantly set it down on the table in front of him with a shy smile. In English, with an accent, she said, "<em>Happy Thanksgiving?"</em></p>
<p>His eyes widened, "I—"</p>
<p>"Sorry, I just—" She began to speak again in her natural language, "I've heard you speak English before, and you sounded American. Today is your holiday, isn't it?"</p>
<p>Bucky nodded once, "It is. Thank you."</p>
<p>She turned slightly, to leave, but hesitated, "Can I… Can I sit down with you?"</p>
<p>"I…uh, yes." Bucky replied stiffly. Other than brief interactions, this was the longest conversation he's had in months. "Of course."</p>
<p>Her face broke out in a wide smile and she sat down across from him. She cleared her throat, "I see you here a lot. My name is Elena."</p>
<p>"Adrian." He introduced himself with his fake name of the day.</p>
<p>"Did you have a good holiday? With family or friends?"</p>
<p>Bucky wasn't sure how to answer. He could lie. Lie and end the conversation easily, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. He shook his head with a tight smile, "I haven't celebrated this holiday in a very long time."</p>
<p>"Oh." She looked embarrassed for even bringing it up, "I am so sorry."</p>
<p>"It's fine."</p>
<p>Elena paused before leaning forward on the table, "Do you… Do you want to talk about it? I hear it helps. You could tell me about…about your last holiday?"</p>
<p>Bucky thought back. The last real thanksgiving he had was before he got shipped away to war. Food was scarce as always, but the love and warmth weren't. His mom, his baby sister, Steve…</p>
<p>"It was with my family." Bucky chuckled. "My mother made my favorite food, my sister danced around the room, and my…my brother was there."</p>
<p>Elena gave him a kind smile, "That sounds very nice. I'm sorry you didn't get to spend today with them."</p>
<p>"Me too." Bucky said softly, mostly to himself. Things were so much easier back then. His life had such a destined path. A simple one. When he first got shipped off, Bucky thought he'd serve like the others, fulfill his duty, and then come home to his family. Start a new one of his own. Then when he was captured—Well, Bucky had just assumed then that he had reached the end of his line. Steve, a larger version of that scrawny kid who'd pick a fight with anything that moved, had saved him and suddenly he had a future again only to watch it disappear as he fell from that Goddamned train. Bucky was beginning to think his fate was to just repeat this vicious cycle of gaining and losing and gaining and losing…</p>
<p>"You deserve to find happiness, Adrian."</p>
<p>"How are you so sure of that?" Bucky asked desperately. To hear those words from someone sounded odd. He couldn't take it seriously. She didn't know who he really was. If Elena did, she wouldn't be sitting here telling him he deserved happiness. She would be running.</p>
<p>Elena chuckled, "Everyone does."</p>
<p>"I don't think that's true." Bucky argued. "I'm not… I'm not a good man."</p>
<p>She shook her head, "I've come to learn that the men who think they are not good are sometimes the best."</p>
<p>Bucky didn't know why the memory came to the forefront of his mind, but suddenly he pictured a pair of warm blue eyes telling him that he was her favorite person in the world. Looking at him like he hung the moon and stars. Begging him not to leave her alone. Bucky had spent night upon night convincing himself that he didn't deserve that gaze. She was dying from pneumonia and desperate for a hand to hold. He was just a convenience.</p>
<p>"Ah, I didn't know…" Elena chuckled sadly.</p>
<p>"Know what?" Bucky shook his thoughts away.</p>
<p>Elena motioned to him, "The look you just had on your face. You were thinking of someone you loved. Maybe…a woman?" Bucky blinked in surprise. Maybe he should've avoided this diner. Elena was very observant. That was risky for him. She continued, "Did you lose her?"</p>
<p>"It <em>isn't</em>…<em>I'm not</em>…You're <em>mistaken</em>." Bucky tried to backpedal. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he sucked in a sharp breath. How had this conversation gotten away from him so easily? He cleared his throat, "We weren't involved how you think. She was never mine. Even if I considered it now…I don't deserve someone like her. I'll <em>never</em> deserve anyone like her."</p>
<p>Elena seemed excited, "What is she like?"</p>
<p>"I barely know her. It's why you're mistaken." Bucky chuckled. "We knew each other for three days."</p>
<p>"Apparently those three days were enough to remember and think of her." Elena hummed. The woman was right about that at least. He knew her for only three days, two of which she was mostly blacked out, and yet that one day where she wasn't had been memorable. Maybe it was just because it was one of the first good memories he made since waking up from being the Winter Soldier. Maybe he had been as desperate as her. Both of them just begging for some kind of company. Still, Bucky couldn't reason away the way talking to her made him feel. It was like he had been lost in a snowstorm, freezing and cold, but the moment she opened her eyes and really saw him… It felt like walking into a glowing house, sitting by a burning fireplace. The cold melting from his limbs. She made him feel human again.</p>
<p>The worst of it was, ignoring the cold had been easy before then. It was his natural state. Knowing there was something else out there for him and then walking away from it? Bucky had to walk away though. He wouldn't scar Aj just because he craved warmth.</p>
<p>Elena slowly stood up, "You don't have to say it aloud. I just hope you find happiness, Adrian."</p>
<p>As she began to walk away, Bucky called after her. When she turned to look at him, he gave her a small smile and spoke in English, "Happy Thanksgiving."</p>
<p>She chuckled and left. Bucky picked up his fork and took a bite of the pie. A little more nostalgia wouldn't hurt anyone. He could afford one day of getting drunk on memories and the paths his life could've taken if the world was different.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>I was mumbling a song under my breath as I came back up to the penthouse around 2:30. There were a few more things I wanted to check on with the caterers so I needed to call them and I wanted to get Tony's '<em>Avengers Compound'</em> details into my Stark Pad rather than just being on my phone. I had changed into a pair of dark jeans, an oversized white knitted sweater, and pulled my hair up into a ponytail with the wisps and leftovers of my bangs hanging around my features. Hell, I even put in a pair of earrings. Special occasion and all that, right? Plus, I thought the earrings might distract from the quickly forming bruise on my left cheek.</p>
<p>While writing on my Pad, I walked up the stairs and into Tony's lab. I glanced up expecting to see Tony tinkering on something, but instead a small child was sitting on the lab countertop playing with something metal and Tony made in his hands. I blinked in shock and glanced around in confusion. The kid was probably a few years younger than Peter, 12 or 13 maybe, but he still looked small in stature. He had on a dark blue button up shirt and khaki pants with dress shoes. He had shaggy, dirty blond hair and big, gray-blue eyes.</p>
<p>He looked up from his hands to blink at me while I continued to just blink at him.</p>
<p>"Um, small child, how did you get in here?" I asked, glancing around again looking for an adult or some sort of clue that this was a joke, "Are you lost?"</p>
<p>He jumped off the counter, about 5 inches shorter than me, and walked toward me, "I'm Harley and I'm not small."</p>
<p>"As someone who is also considered small, I can accurately judge you on that." I countered. "Now, Harley, who are you? What are you doing here? This is—"</p>
<p>"Tony Stark's lab, I know, I've been here before." Harley shrugged and I continued to stare at him in confusion. He gave me an adorable smile, "I'm Tony's son."</p>
<p>My brain short circuited as I heard the words. Son. Son? Tony's <em>child</em>? I was like 75% sure he didn't have a kid, but if anyone on earth would be flighty enough to forget to mention a fucking kid to me it would be Tony Stark. Plus, I knew of his playboy past before meeting Pepper. This was a possibility?</p>
<p>"Tony's…<em>son</em>?" I said slowly and Harley nodded. "I…I haven't heard about you? Or seen you…at all? I—"</p>
<p>Harley nodded nonchalantly, still smiling, "Yeah, he's ashamed of me. I always thought we had a connection, but then there was that Christmas where he <em>drove</em> away from me, leaving me on a <em>cold</em> street, all <em>alone</em>…"</p>
<p>My eyes widened, but before I could try to comfort the kid the door opened behind us. I spun around to see Tony had stepped in wearing one of his more casual suits. Pepper must have wrestled him into getting ready already. He looked to Harley then to me with wide eyes.</p>
<p>"<em>What happened to your face?"</em></p>
<p>
  <em>"You abandoned your child!?"</em>
</p>
<p>We had both cried our questions out at the same time and then stared at each other. Tony finally shook his head and walked further in, "Did I what?"</p>
<p>"You <em>abandoned</em> your child!?" I said again motioning to Harley.</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes, "God, he's so dramatic about it." My eyes widened again, and Tony must have caught whiff of my building rage because he quickly shook his head, "He's my son in the sense that you're Clint's kid, ok? I met him last year when he helped me off Aldrich." Tony walked over and clapped his hands on the kid's shoulders, "Harley, this is Aj Bradshaw. Aj, this is Harley Keener."</p>
<p>Harley gave me a nod, "Nice to meet you. He did abandon me on a cold street once though."</p>
<p>"Abandon is such a strong word." Tony argued.</p>
<p>I shook my head, trying to shake the confusion away, "Uh, ok, nice to meet you?"</p>
<p>"You should get to know each other." Tony motioned to us and then looked to Harley, "She's your big sister, just FYI."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "Isn't Clint my father in this analogy? Can't y'all just stick to one?"</p>
<p>"Fine, fine, fine." Tony scoffed. "Harley this is your <em>cousin</em>."</p>
<p>"So, you were adopted by the Avengers too?" Harley questioned.</p>
<p>"Apparently."</p>
<p>Tony let go of Harley to walk toward me and touch my tender cheek, "Now what the hell happened here?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I was sparring earlier, and Clint punched me in the face."</p>
<p>There was a brief pause of silence between us. Harley let out a low whistle and that snapped Tony out of it enough that he pulled me into his side, "That's child abuse. I'm calling CPS and officially adopting you. You're a Stark now, Clint lost his chance by being a terrible father."</p>
<p>I gave Harley a smile, "Does being adopted by the Avengers ever get any better?"</p>
<p>"Hmm, no." Harley shook his head. "It's stays about like this."</p>
<p>Tony snapped his fingers once, "Harley, where's your mom?"</p>
<p>"Oh, she's downstairs with Happy. Pepper met us in the lobby and they're catching up and talking and stuff."</p>
<p>"I assume they're staying for thanksgiving dinner too and you just forgot to add them to your guest list?" I asked Tony with a grin. Luckily, knowing Tony and the others, I made sure to order extra food just in case. I figured whatever we didn't eat we could donate to a shelter.</p>
<p>Tony motioned for us to follow him out of the lab, "Come on. Let's go greet our guests."</p>
<p>Harley asked to stay in the lab and Tony gave permission without hesitation. I wondered if Rhodey was downstairs too. It would be fun to meet the people Tony talked about so often. Though he hadn't ever mentioned Harley and Harley's mom before, I had heard plenty about Happy. We got into the elevator and JARVIS took us down to the ground floor.</p>
<p>"So is Harley a science geek like you?"</p>
<p>"Ok, replace the word '<em>geek'</em> with '<em>genius'</em> please." Tony countered as we stepped out. The Tower was mostly empty because of the holiday. He led me forward, "But yes. Kid's real smart."</p>
<p>Tony told me a little bit more about their meeting and how Harley helped him out. In his usual Tony way, the guy thanked the kid by taking him under his wing. It was cute that Tony did that. Harley sounded like a good kid and it was nice that he now had an actual father figure in his life. We reached the lobby and Tony stopped and motioned forward with a tilt of his head. Curiously, I glanced over to where he motioned to.</p>
<p>There was a man in a nice black suit talking to Pepper, who was dressed in something similar to me, and a woman I didn't recognize. She had a similar hair color to Harley's, and I assumed it was his mother. My gaze slid over to a face I did recognize though. She was older now, that's what almost 10 years will do to a person, but it was without a doubt her.</p>
<p>Granny stood beside Pepper wearing a soft pink blazer with the matching dress pants and a white sweater under the blazer itself. Her hair was still cut short, but the color she used to have had faded to gray and silver. She had on a pair of glasses, ones she hadn't had to wear before, but the warm smile that was signature for her was plastered on her face.</p>
<p>I felt a lump form in my throat. It was like the entire world just decided to freeze. This couldn't be real. This couldn't actually be happening. Granny, and the others, turned to look over at us and I watched as Granny's face softened at the sight of me. Without thought, I reached over and grabbed Tony's hand. He took mine and squeezed it once tightly. There were tears collecting in my eyes, I could feel it, and I glanced over at Tony questioningly. He just nodded once with a smirk.</p>
<p>Granny began to walk toward us, "Aimee Jane."</p>
<p>All it took was my name, her voice, and I fell apart. I pulled my hand away from Tony's hand and rushed toward her. We met halfway and I pulled her into a tight hug. It was the smell of her, that familiar floral perfume, that convinced me this was actually real. This was happening. I felt like I was a kid again. Curling up into Granny's arms after a fight in that first ring that went wrong.</p>
<p>I pulled back, keeping my hands on her arms, "Granny? <em>How</em>—?"</p>
<p>"Oh, Aimee Jane." Granny lifted her hand to swipe away a tear before cupping my face with both hands, "Look at you! So, grown up and beautiful and professional and…" Her warm smile faltered into shock, "And so <em>stupid</em>!" She swatted me on the hip. "Are you <em>insane</em>? Getting yourself <em>tangled</em> up in that mess up here. Why didn't you call me?!"</p>
<p>My eyes widened in shock and I whipped around to look at Tony who stood beside me, "You <em>told</em> her!?"</p>
<p>"Don't you take that tone with Mr. Stark." Granny scolded then turned to Tony with a smile, "You'll have to excuse her."</p>
<p>Tony lifted his hands, "It's alright, Rosie dear. I'm fully used to her at this point."</p>
<p>I shot him a glare that Granny just scolded me for again. Pepper was quick to herd the people around us to the elevator with a small smile in my direction. Now it was just me and Granny in the large, empty lobby of Stark Industries. Granny set her hand on my face again with a pained smile, "Oh, Aimee Jane."</p>
<p>"I'm <em>sorry</em>." I whispered, the guilt that slowly ate away at me for years was drowning me now, "I'm <em>so </em>sorry."</p>
<p>"You don't have <em>anything</em> to be sorry for, dear."</p>
<p>"No, I do. You worked so <em>hard</em> to fix me and I messed it all up." I felt my bottom lip quiver. "I just threw it all away and—"</p>
<p>Granny shook her head tightly, "No, dear, no. I never fixed you because you <em>never</em> needed fixing." She pressed her lips together and brushed her thumb over the scar on my right cheekbone. "You've gone through so much, haven't you? I can see it in your eyes, Aimee Jane. You've lost so much…"</p>
<p>I couldn't ever hide anything from her. She knew me too well. She saw every scar and secret in my eyes, and her saying those words was all it took to break my carefully constructed dam. Tears began to fall, but Granny just pulled me into her and held me tightly as I cried in her shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Clint glanced around the room nervously, but he was still alone. At least, he thought he was alone. There really was no telling. His eyes darted around again, but still found no dangerous red headed assassin hiding in the corner for him. He knew she had to be though. The elevator doors pinged open and Clint nearly vaulted over the couch in response.</p>
<p>Tony, Pepper, Happy, and Harley's mom, Hannah, walked out though chatting happily. He collapsed back onto the couch in relief.</p>
<p>"Why does your Hawk look like he's about to shit himself?" Happy called out, he glanced around himself, "Are we concerned about a security breach of some kind? Do we—"</p>
<p>Tony let out a loud groan, "Absolutely not. Take a deep breath. Barton's just terrified because he abused his adopted child and now the Black Widow is spinning a web to end him."</p>
<p>The three people around him blinked in confusion at his words, but Clint shoved himself up from the couch with a point, "It was an accident!"</p>
<p>"Yeah, tell that to CPS, you <em>bird bastard</em>."</p>
<p>Pepper closed her eyes and took a deep breath before giving Hannah a smile, "Let's go find Harley. I haven't seen him in ages."</p>
<p>She pulled the mother away, shooting Tony a look, before focusing back on her conversation with the other woman. Happy was still looking around suspiciously despite not having any reason to be concerned, and Tony was just grinning at Clint in that stupid, smug way of his.</p>
<p>"I'm actually surprised she hasn't gotten to you yet." Tony chuckled.</p>
<p>Clint shook his head, "Since I caught Aj off guard she's going to catch me off guard."</p>
<p>Accidents happen when you spar. It was inevitable. Obviously, any punch or kick thrown wasn't done in I'll intent so the bruises and scrapes earned from it shouldn't be taken to heart. Still, it was an unspoken agreement between him and Natasha that the they'd pull their punches in first lessons. Once she got the hang of it, then they could go harder. It wasn't that they didn't think Aj could handle it, but with all the hits she's taken over the years they didn't want to accidentally give her an unnecessary concussion.</p>
<p>"Where is Aj?" Clint questioned. "I haven't seen her since this morning."</p>
<p>"She's downstairs with Rosie." Happy answered.</p>
<p>Clint's eyes widened, "Oh, yeah? She made it in? How did she handle it?"</p>
<p>Tony nodded with a smile, "Really well. That was…a good idea to bring in Rosie."</p>
<p>"And, uh, <em>whose</em> idea was that again?" Clint crossed his arms and stepped closer with a smug look of his own now. He knew the answer to that question. Everyone knew the answer to that question.</p>
<p>Happy motioned to Tony, "Wasn't it Tony?"</p>
<p>Ok, maybe not everyone.</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. It was a great idea, one I should've thought of, and Captain <em>Geriatric </em>wins a couple points for it." He shook his head with a shrug, "But, still, <em>no</em>."</p>
<p>"Oh, come on!" Clint cried with a laugh, "You're just being stubborn now."</p>
<p>Pepper walked back in with a questioning look, "What is he being stubborn about now?"</p>
<p>"Tony doesn't think Steve and Aj would be a cute couple." Clint answered.</p>
<p>Happy blinked in confusion. He quietly asked Tony if they were dating and Tony just shook his head and brushed the question off. Pepper narrowed her eyes at Clint, glancing at Tony, and then back to Clint.</p>
<p>"Steve and Aj?" Pepper reiterated then shook her head, "No."</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>!" Tony barked and pulled the woman into his arms, "God, I <em>knew</em> I loved you for a reason, Pep."</p>
<p>Pepper rolled her eyes but pressed her lips to the side of his face. She turned to Happy, the whole reason why she came back in the first place, and asked him to tag along. Happy, who was more content with walking the floor for security reasons, followed along without hesitation.</p>
<p>Clint just shook his head again, "Give me one good reason, Stark."</p>
<p>"They don't have that…<em>oomph</em>." Tony replied. Clint threw his hands up with a scoff and Tony stood strong in his trenches, "Pepper and I have <em>oomph</em>." He smirked, then motioned to him, "You and Nat have <em>oomph</em>. Even Bruce and Betty have <em>oomph</em>. Thor and Jane might. To be honest I haven't been around them as a couple long enough to really know yet, but Steve and Aj just don't have that <em>oomph</em>—"</p>
<p>"Say oomph one more time, and I'll <em>oomph</em> you." Clint threatened. "What the fuck even is oomph?"</p>
<p>"You know, that <em>spark</em>." Tony shrugged and walked around him to drop onto the couch. He threw his feet onto the coffee table. Clint pointed to his feet and Tony just tapped them together. "When you buy a coffee table with your own money, I'll let you put your feet on it." Clint rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch as Tony continued his point, "It's a gut thing. My gut says no."</p>
<p>Clint shook his head, "<em>Nuh-uh</em>. <em>I'm</em> the super-secret agent. <em>I</em> have the gut thing. You're just—"</p>
<p>"The <em>genius</em>?" Tony offered.</p>
<p>Clint scrunched his face up in annoyance because at this point in the argument anything he said would come out as a point for Stark. Tony, who knew this, just grinned at him. Clint opened his mouth to argue anyways, because he wouldn't be him if he just rolled over and gave up an argument with his dignity intact, but a loud slam from somewhere above them made him jump to his feet.</p>
<p>Tony burst into laughter as Clint whipped his head around with a groan, "She's just toying with me now."</p>
<p>"I'm surprised you're not hiding in the vents already."</p>
<p>"Are you kidding?" Clint scoffed. "That'll be the first place she looks."</p>
<p>Clint hesitantly sat down again. The chances of Natasha getting to him now were double. Now she could catch him off guard and have an audience. Lord knows Tony would get a real kick out of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>We had moved the sobbing session back up to my apartment and I thanked all the gods of Norse mythology that Thor, Jane, or Darcy weren't up there to see me walk in red faced and near hysterical. I would've been mortified. Luckily, that hadn't happened and now I just sat on the couch beside Granny. My legs were pulled up into my chest, so I could face her entirely, while she just smiled at me.</p>
<p>"Why didn't you call me, Aimee Jane? I'm not upset about it. If you were in this much trouble though I just wish I could've been there to help." Granny held my hand tightly.</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I didn't want to you tangled up in all this shit."</p>
<p>"<em>Language</em>."</p>
<p>"Plus", I pressed my lips together, "I just felt so…"</p>
<p>"Dear, you have <em>nothing</em> to be ashamed of." Granny reassured me. "I love you so much, but I swear to the good Lord you're as <em>dumb</em> as a <em>bag of hammers</em> sometimes."</p>
<p>I let out a laugh with a nod, "More than sometimes, I think." With a smirk, I reached forward with my free hand and touched her hair, "I like the hair and glasses. You look like a real granny now."</p>
<p>"Oh, hush, you." Granny scoffed and I laughed harder. "I am aging <em>wonderfully</em>. I can't get over how <em>beautiful</em> you are." She cooed over me, touching my own hair. "You're so grown up now."</p>
<p>"How've you been, Granny?"</p>
<p>"I haven't fostered kids in a good bit, but I'm still working at the schools as much as I can." Granny hummed. "And of course, I still volunteer at the hospital and the senior center and—"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I didn't think there were that many hours in the day."</p>
<p>Granny rolled her eyes, "You know I like to stay busy."</p>
<p>"True, and without me around I'm sure your free time <em>doubled</em>." I joked. There was a beat before I cleared my throat, "How much…How much did Tony tell you?"</p>
<p>Granny let out a low hum, "He told me you got mixed up with some bad men. That they <em>hurt</em> you. He told me…" She squeezed my hand tightly and her voice cracked, "He told me that I almost <em>lost</em> you. I almost <em>lost</em> you and <em>I didn't even</em>—"</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. <em>I'm sorry</em>." I pleaded again. I could tell her I was sorry for every minute of every day for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't feel like enough.</p>
<p>She shook her head, "No, you don't need to apologize, dear. I'm just <em>so happy</em> you're safe. You are safe now, aren't you? Are you happy?"</p>
<p>"I am." I said firmly with a smile. It wasn't often in my life I could answer that question honestly. "I am really, <em>really</em> happy."</p>
<p>Granny lifted the hand she held and pressed it to her lips once, "Can you tell me more? I want to know more, Aimee Jane. Please?"</p>
<p>And because I could never say no to her, I told her everything. I started with college and how I got accepted into medical school. These were things she knew, but it led into where she lost me. I told her about Kyle and how I found the ring, about Boss and the debt I owed him, and between every detail I apologized again and again. I apologized for shutting her out, for the lackluster proof of life text I sent her after New York was attacked by aliens, for throwing the bachelor's degree she mostly paid for right out the window. Words couldn't express how sorry I really was.</p>
<p>"When I got kidnapped…" I explained and I could see the tenseness in her frame. There was no reason for her to know the exact details of that. "This Vladimir guy made me fight and I got beat up pretty bad. <em>Really bad</em>. But there was a man there. He called himself Toska and he <em>saved my life</em>, Granny… I later found out his name was actually <em>Bucky Barnes</em>—"</p>
<p>"<em>James Buchanan Barnes?</em> Captain America's best friend? I thought he died in the war?" Granny gasped in surprise.</p>
<p>I blinked in shock but then remembered one of her hobbies was being a giant history nerd. Granny read all those books and watched all the documentaries that existed on basically everything. I used to tease her about it endlessly, "Yeah. He didn't die. Bucky got caught by this <em>evil</em> group and they forced him to do <em>terrible</em>things, but…he broke free and he saved my life and now he's… I don't know. Out there somewhere."</p>
<p>"All those jokes you made about my interests and it was one of my interests that saved your life." Granny chuckled. She wasn't wrong. I forgot about the irony there. "Is he as <em>handsome</em> as he is in those old photos?"</p>
<p>I let out a laugh and nodded, feeling my cheeks burn under her gaze, "Yeah. He was <em>really</em> handsome. That was my first thought actually. Other than '<em>Ow this hurts',</em> I saw him and wondered how someone so gorgeous could end up in the same hell hole as me." I chuckled at the memory and nodded. "In my pain induced haze, I even told him I thought he had pretty eyes. So, <em>that</em> hasn't changed. I still have the charm of a <em>half-drowned</em> cat."</p>
<p>"Oh, Aimee Jane." Granny scoffed, "You still have <em>no</em> idea the effect you have on people."</p>
<p>I laughed, "Oh, I'm <em>fully</em> aware of the effect I have. It's why I get <em>punched</em> so much."</p>
<p>Granny swatted me lightly, "You assume everyone sees you the way you see yourself and, pardon my language, but you're a real <em>bitch</em> to yourself."</p>
<p>I gasped, "How could you say such a <em>vile</em> word to my <em>virgin</em> ears—?"</p>
<p>She swatted me again, "I'm <em>serious</em>. Aimee Jane, you're <em>warm</em>, and you have this <em>natural</em> ability to make the people around you <em>feel</em> that warmth." Granny held my hand with both of hers. Her smile soft and filled with so much love that it made my chest ache. "There's a <em>fire</em> in you. It's <em>always</em> been there. That fire is so hot, and you've been hurt <em>so much</em>… You deserve to lash out and burn cities to ash, but instead you just keep the ones you love warm. That's special, Aimee Jane. <em>You're</em> special."</p>
<p>"Granny…"</p>
<p>"I wish you had reached out to me, but only because I would've <em>never</em> let you forget that." She squeezed my hands. "I <em>never</em> would've let you forget how <em>worthy</em> you are of <em>everything</em> this world has to offer."</p>
<p>I leaned forward, breaking her hands off mine, to pull her into a hug. After a moment, I laughed and shook my head, "God, I'm gonna owe Tony my first-born child after this. I can't believe he reached out to you and brought you here."</p>
<p>Granny pulled away from me, "Actually, it wasn't Mr. Stark. It was his private jet I flew in of course—which was <em>so</em> nice. He sent his jet <em>all</em> the way to Alabama just to—"</p>
<p>"Granny, focus."</p>
<p>"Right." She said. "It was <em>Captain America</em> who reached out to me. Can you believe that? <em>The</em> Captain America, <em>Steve Rogers</em>, the <em>'Man with a Plan'</em>, called little ol' me and invited me for dinner. I nearly had a heart attack, Aimee Jane. <em>Steve Rogers</em>!"</p>
<p>I blinked in shock, "Steve… <em>Steve</em> called you?"</p>
<p>"He said you were missing me and that he wanted to bring me in as a surprise." Granny nodded then added, "Since you couldn't bring yourself to reach out yourself. Which is silly. Regardless of the time that has passed you should know I'll always be there waiting for you, dear."</p>
<p>My brain was still trying to connect those two pieces of information. Steve had called Granny for me? I remembered talking to him about her that one afternoon weeks ago. It was right before I forced him to dance with me. I never thought, in a million years, that he'd do something like this though.</p>
<p>"My Aimee Jane friends with Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes." Granny fanned herself with a hand, "Who would've thought?"</p>
<p>"Um, no one." I chuckled then gave her a small smile, "I wish you could meet Bucky too. You would've really liked him."</p>
<p>Granny let out a small laugh, "He saved you. I owe him everything."</p>
<p>I quickly stood and swiped at my face making sure there were no stray tears, "Come on. I want you to meet everyone."</p>
<p>She didn't hesitate to follow me to the elevator, and when we got to the penthouse I was happy to see that the caterers were just now arriving and starting to set up what they needed in the kitchen. It also seemed like almost everyone was up in the penthouse milling about too. The first people I introduced Granny to was Natasha and Clint, then Bruce and Betty, Darcy and Jane, and then Thor and Sam. She already knew Tony, Pepper, and Happy, but I took this moment to meet Happy and Harley's mom, who was named Hannah, and Rhodey who had arrived not too long ago.</p>
<p>"She's a <em>fantastic</em> assistant. <em>Very</em> obedient." Tony nodded and I rolled my eyes at him.</p>
<p>Pepper set a hand on his chest and looked to Granny, "What he means is she's a very good babysitter. Makes sure Tony doesn't starve <em>and</em> gets him to bed on time."</p>
<p>"Great perseverance too." Rhodey raised his glass to me, "Tony usually has his assistant running out of here swearing at him by day two."</p>
<p>Granny chuckled, "Oh, my Aimee Jane is a tough one. I think she'll have Mr. Stark losing it before she ever does."</p>
<p>"You're right. Aimee Jane, here, hurts my feelings <em>all the time</em>. I'm <em>fragile</em>." Tony agreed and I narrowed a light glare at him. If he thought I was gonna let him keep calling me <em>'Aimee Jane'</em> he had another thing coming.</p>
<p>I glanced around the room as they continued to talk and that's when I noticed Steve had finally come in. He was standing over by the window talking to Sam. Rather than pull Granny away from her conversation, I whispered I'd be back, and slid away. Both men, like everyone else, were dressed nicely. Sam had on a pair of khakis with a green shirt and Steve had on a light blue button up with navy dress pants. They noticed me approaching when I was about halfway to them. Sam lifted his drink up to me with a smile before saying something to Steve and walking back down the stairs to where everyone else was.</p>
<p>"Hey, you look nice." Steve greeted. "And your face hasn't bruised—"</p>
<p>I closed the space and threw my arms around his neck tightly. The action startled Steve, but he was quick to lower himself slightly and wrap his own arms around me. Honestly, it was a good thing he hadn't been holding a drink. I tightened my grip around his neck, "Thank you."</p>
<p>"Aj, it really wasn't—"</p>
<p>"No." I shook my head against his shoulder. "It was a <em>big</em> thing. It was a big, <em>amazing</em> thing. Thank you so much, Steve."</p>
<p>I pulled back from him, telling myself I wasn't going to cry again, and Steve just gave me a soft smile, "Anything for you, sweetheart."</p>
<p>A laugh left my lips. Quickly, I pushed myself forward and pressed a chaste kiss against his cheek before grabbing his hand and dragging him with me, "Come on, you have to meet her. She's the <em>biggest</em>Captain America fangirl."</p>
<p>"Oh yeah?" Steve chuckled.</p>
<p>"Mhmm. She probably had your poster up as a kid." I joked. "She even used to make me watch documentaries about y'all. Not that I <em>ever</em> paid attention."</p>
<p>Steve squeezed my hand, "Wow, was I too boring for you?"</p>
<p>"<em>Absolute</em> <em>snore fest</em>." I replied without missing a beat. He laughed and I continued to drag him over by where Granny was still talking to Pepper. Happy, Rhodey, and Tony had drifted away at some point. "Hey, Granny! This is my friend Steve. Steve, this is Rosie."</p>
<p>Granny turned away from Pepper and her eyes widened comically at the sight of the man whose hand I was holding. Even though she had already spoken to him on the phone once apparently this was a whole different thing.</p>
<p>"Oh my goodness. Mr. Rogers. It is <em>such</em> an honor to meet you." Granny gushed.</p>
<p>Steve let go of my hand to offer it to Granny who took it with gusto, "Ma'am, the honor is all mine."</p>
<p>Granny looked like she was about to swoon, and I held back a snicker. She continued to shake his hand, stars in her eyes, and I gave Pepper a look of amusement that she returned. Pepper gave my shoulder a squeeze before mumbling that she was going to go find Tony.</p>
<p>"Thank you so much for looking after Aimee Jane. I am forever in your debt."</p>
<p>"No, really, there's no need for that, ma'am."</p>
<p>"No, no." Granny finally let go of his hand to lightly tap him on the side of his arm, "I know she can be a handful sometimes."</p>
<p>I smirked and shook my head, "Wow, Granny, I see how it is."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "Sometimes, but it's well worth the trouble."</p>
<p>"You too, Steven?" I gave him a look he only grinned at. Granny continued to gush about Steve's existence and the phone in my back pocket buzzed. When I pulled it out it was a text from Peter saying him and his aunt were here and in the elevator. "Hey, I gotta play hostess for a little while…"</p>
<p>"Go, go, we'll be fine." Granny cooed at me. Steve gave me a quick nod and I gave them both a grin. I was halfway to the elevator when it opened, and the Parkers stepped into the room. Peter's aunt was beautiful with long dark hair and a broad, pretty smile. She had on a dress and warm, tan trench coat over it. I lifted my hand to greet them and my feet faltered when Peter stepped out from behind her with an excited smile.</p>
<p>Peter had on a white button up shirt tucked into black slacks, but the kid was tall. Like significantly so. The last time I saw him, only three days ago, he had been about my height and scrawny like a twig. As I got closer, I realized he was multiple inches taller than me. He was still lean but had filled out. In three days. What?</p>
<p>"Uh, hi! It's nice to see you, Pete." I greeted quickly and turned to his aunt, "You must be Mrs. Parker. I'm Aj."</p>
<p>"Just May is fine!" She replied warmly and shook my hand, "I've heard so many good things about you, Aj. Pete won't shut up about you or his new Avenger friends."</p>
<p>"<em>May</em>." Peter hissed with a blush.</p>
<p>May continued, ignoring him entirely, "Thank you so much for inviting us."</p>
<p>"It was our pleasure! Peter's a good kid." I winked at him, and then lightly punched his shoulder, "Who has apparently grown since I last saw him?"</p>
<p>Peter quickly shook his head, "N—No. Me? No."</p>
<p>"Says the kid I've had to buy an entire new wardrobe for." May chuckled. She snapped her fingers, "Overnight. Just like that. I don't know what the school is feeding him."</p>
<p>Pepper, who was the professional hostess, strolled over at this time and lightly brushed her hand on my shoulder, "Hi! I'm Pepper. You must be Peter's aunt?"</p>
<p>They greeted each other and Pepper lead May further into the room showing her around and introducing her to some of the other women. Peter held his hands behind his back and rolled on his heels back and forth.</p>
<p>I shook my head at him, "Dang, kid, you really did shoot up."</p>
<p>"It's, uh, puberty."</p>
<p>"Aren't you 14?"</p>
<p>"15." Peter replied. "Late bloomer?"</p>
<p>"Uh huh." I chuckled and glanced around. My eyes finally found Tony who was talking to Harley across the room, "Come on, Tony's over there."</p>
<p>Peter followed me, but his eyes were wide, "I can't just walk over there and talk to Tony Stark!"</p>
<p>"And why's that?"</p>
<p>"He's…" Peter waved his hands, "He's <em>Tony Stark</em>!"</p>
<p>"You've already met him once."</p>
<p>"But still!"</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "He's not nearly as glamorous as the tabloids make him out to be. I've seen him tinker in his lab, use his screwdriver to stir a two-day old cup of coffee, drink it, and then continue working with the screwdriver."</p>
<p>Peter continued to look at me questioningly and I grabbed his arm to drag him into the room that was filled with warmth and a general buzz of happiness. Most of the guests were here, save for a few, and I felt like I was riding on cloud nine.</p>
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<p>Maria found herself checking her phone again, but there was still no update. Realistically, they were at a point where no news was good news. If Coulson was sending her texts mid-mission then that meant things were going poorly on their end.</p>
<p>"Still quiet?" Natasha saddled up to her at the bar casually.</p>
<p>"For now." Maria replied. She lifted her gaze to trail around the room filled with laughter and a general air of ease.</p>
<p>Natasha hummed, "Are you sure he didn't need back up? Clint and I could've—"</p>
<p>"Coulson was adamant that him and his team had it handled." Maria reassured the red head in hopes that her words would internally reassure herself. Coulson had this handled. He almost always did. The only reason she was really worrying now was because SHIELD was still trying to heal and losing anyone they trusted would be a huge blow to that recovery. "List's base shouldn't be too difficult for them now that they have Skye back. Of course, Ward is also with them…"</p>
<p>Natasha narrowed her eyes, "Why haven't we just killed him yet?"</p>
<p>"It's not for a lack of trying." Maria mumbled. "Desperate times."</p>
<p>"We're desperate enough to let that HYDRA son of a bitch help, but not send us in?"</p>
<p>They whispered back and forth, a light argument on whether or not back up should be sent to Coulson regardless of the lack of '<em>SOS'</em> text. As if on cue though, both women pasted smiles on their faces and switched gears mid-conversation when Aj bounced over.</p>
<p>"Hey", Aj greeted, "Where's Coulson and crew? We were about to start serving food, but I don't wanna start without them."</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "Something actually came up and they won't be able to make it tonight, Aj."</p>
<p>"Oh no." Aj frowned and glanced between the two of them, "Is everything ok?"</p>
<p>Maria gave her a small, reassuring smile, "Nothing to worry about. Coulson says he's sorry. He was really looking forward to this."</p>
<p>"Go ahead and let the caterers know that they can start serving." Natasha reached out and lightly touched her elbow, "And relax a little. Enjoy the party you put together."</p>
<p>Aj chuckled and gave them both a nod before disappearing again. Maria glanced over at Natasha with a small smirk. Her friend met her gaze with a quirked and questioning eyebrow. Maria just let out a small laugh in response, "You're nearly as soft as Barton is about her."</p>
<p>"She's…<em>charming</em>." Natasha replied.</p>
<p>Maria considered Natasha a good friend. One of her closest friends really. However, they still lived in a world where both of them were agents and both of them never really said exactly what they were thinking. Maria knew that two months ago Natasha was on the same page as her. Maybe not the exact same sentence, but at least the same page. The look in the red head's eyes now told her maybe they weren't even in the same book anymore.</p>
<p>"Coulson is sure to find more information on terrigenesis in List's base. The more we know about it then the safer I'm sure it is." Maria shrugged. Natasha's gaze hardened. A blink and you miss it kind of thing. That was the only answer she really needed. As much as SHIELD could use another inhuman agent, there was apparently no way they were getting to Aj. Not unless Maria could guarantee no negative effect. She liked Aj. This wasn't her trying to turn the poor girl into a stone statue. This was a top agent of SHIELD knowing that without growth they were going to start going the other way. Besides, Maria was convinced she was inhuman. Something was different about her and no full human could survive what Aj had survived. She gave Natasha a '<em>white flag'</em> smile, "Have you gotten back at Clint yet?"</p>
<p>Natasha chuckled and shook her head, "No, it was just an accident after all. Clint will figure that out eventually. I'd guess by the end of the next week he'll be sure he's off the hook."</p>
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<p>The usual dining room table in the penthouse had been replaced with a much larger one, with enough room to accommodate everyone, and now the tabletop was covered with various plates and dishes. It was the kind of thanksgiving feasts you'd see on television or in a movie. Everything cooked to perfection, filling the air with its mouthwatering aroma and warmth.</p>
<p>Last thanksgiving, I had sat in a bar snacking on saltine crackers and stale beer.</p>
<p>After thanking the caterers and giving a Tony Stark sized tip to each one, I came out of the kitchen to sit at the table where everyone else was beginning to settle. My seat was near the middle with Granny to my left and Darcy to my right. Steve was across from me, with Sam on his right and Thor on his left, leaving Jane, Bruce, and Betty in the other seats to my right with Bruce at the head of that side. Clint was sitting on the other side of Granny, claiming he wanted to hear every embarrassing story she had on me, with Natasha on his other side and Happy and Maria Hill across from them. Tony was sitting on the other head of the table, to my left, with Pepper on his left and Harley on his right. Peter was sitting by Harley, the two of them had hit it off quickly, and Rhodey sat on the other side of Pepper with May and Hannah beside him.</p>
<p>I never would've ever guessed that I'd ever be sitting at a table like this for thanksgiving dinner. Granny placed her hand over mine and gave it a tight squeeze. I gave her a soft smile. God, I prided myself on being tough, these last five years especially, but right now I couldn't be further from that. Literally, I was one step above puddle of happy goo.</p>
<p>"Excuse me." Tony cleared his throat and stood. He tapped against the glass in his hand as if he needed that to hold the attention in the room. "It's that time of the evening where the <em>man</em> of the house gives the <em>heartwarming</em> toast."</p>
<p>Clint cupped a hand around his mouth, "Nobody asked you to do that, Stark."</p>
<p>"And nobody asked <em>you</em> to use the airducts as your own personal, human version of hamster tunnels, yet here we are." Tony countered and a light round of laughter rose from the table. "Now, I wanted to thank everyone for coming. It's always nice to see everyone on a night where the world <em>isn't</em> burning down around us." There were hums of agreement. "I also wanted to take this time to turn the spotlight away from me for a moment—"</p>
<p>Rhodey was the one to speak up this time, "You think you can survive that?"</p>
<p>"It'll only be momentarily." Tony replied, then motioned to the table, "But if I'm interrupted again, you can be <em>damn</em> sure I'm adding thirty minutes to this little toast." He paused, as if testing the group to try and call him on his threat, and when he was pleased at the silence he smirked and continued, "I wanted to shine the spotlight on the newest, little Avenger. Emphasis on <em>little</em>."</p>
<p>Eyes glanced in my direction and I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. I did not want to be under the metaphorical spotlight. Although it wasn't Tony's style, if he said something even remotely sappy then I would most definitely cry. My tolerance was stupid low at the moment. If someone looked at me for too long I'd tear up.</p>
<p>"Without Aj we'd be eating Clint's hot pockets tonight. She organized this whole thing, even with a late start because <em>someone</em> forgot to tell her she needed to organize this, but regardless, she did a <em>hell</em> of a job on this. Everything looks perfect though I expect no less from her." Tony smirked, his eyes catching mine, and gave me a wink, "Can't wait to see how you top this next year, sunshine."</p>
<p>Next year. This was Tony's way of telling me that he expected me to be around next year and I could honestly say I wanted nothing more in life than for that to be true. I would be content in spending the rest of my life organizing last minute parties for the Avengers and family. Other eyes glanced my way. I quickly cleared my own throat and lifted my glass to the air with a tilt of my head, "Cheers to getting Stark to shut up so we can finally eat."</p>
<p>"<em>Cheers</em>!" Everyone lifted their glasses and cheered loudly.</p>
<p>Tony chuckled, sat back down, and everyone dove in. Plates were passed around and the food ended up tasting just as amazing as it looked and smelled. The table was filled with various conversations overlapping one another and voices being thrown down the table to loop others in. Clint suddenly leaned forward, "Rosie, I would <em>love</em> to hear—"</p>
<p>"<em>Sicily 2009</em>." I said with a raised eyebrow.</p>
<p>Clint's eyes widened and he grinned at Rosie with a nod, "—<em>hear</em> what you think about the weather up here in New York. It's gotta be a big difference from Sweet Home Alabama."</p>
<p>I smirked and mentally reminded myself to get Coulson's number from someone and text him a quick <em>'thank you'</em>. Natasha leaned back in her seat to give me a thumbs up that I snickered at. I turned back to my food and smiled to myself. For the first time, in a long time, I had a lot to be thankful for.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. All The Kings' Horses and All The Kings' Men</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING: mentions of scarring, mild mentions of torture, PTSD aspects.<br/>None of it is described in very much detail, but I wanted to put the warning up here just in case.</p>
<p>Updates will be coming like every 5 days-ish (im ahead for the first time in my life lol) BUT PLS LEAVE ME COMMENTS. I cannot stress this enough, but I literally run on the serotonin I get from reading comments. That and coffee.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"Some of the kindest souls I know have lived in a world that was not so kind to them. Some of the best human beings I know, have been through so much at the hands of others, and they still love deeply, they still care. Sometimes, it's the people who have been hurt the most, who refuse to be hardened in this world, because they would never want to make another person feel the same way they themselves have felt. If that isn't something to be in awe of, I don't know what is." –Bianca Sparacino</em>
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<p>"<em>Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots</em>!" Darcy cheered as Tony began to pour tequila into six shot glasses. I glanced at Darcy on my left who was already tipsy enough to think this was a good idea and Sam who was nodding and mentally trying to hype himself up. On my right, Rhodey had a hand over his mouth, hiding a smirk, and Clint stood beside him looking way, <em>way</em> too excited about this.</p>
<p>On one hand, the logical part of my brain was telling me that this drinking contest was probably a poor idea. On the <em>other</em> hand, I had been challenged and it wasn't in my nature to ever turn down a competition of any kind.</p>
<p>"Shot every 15 minutes. Last man standing—"</p>
<p>"<em>Woman</em>!" Darcy and I barked.</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes, "Last <em>person</em> standing is the winner and everyone else should hide their faces in shame until Christmas."</p>
<p>"You really think you'll be able to keep out of the public eye until Christmas?" Rhodey teased, taking a shot glass that Tony was beginning to pass out.</p>
<p>Sam scoffed, "Stop flirting. Where's my damn lime?"</p>
<p>Clint threw him a slice from the pile we had collected and did the same for the rest of us. I chuckled and held the saltshaker up. In response, everyone licked the back of their hand, by their thumb, and I shook out enough salt for everyone. The crystals sticking to the line of saliva on my hand.</p>
<p>"Enjoy this. Next round is vodka." Darcy grinned.</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus</em>, we're <em>mixing</em> liquors?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Why? Scared, <em>Aimee Jane</em>?" Tony asked with mock concern.</p>
<p>I flipped him off and grabbed my shot glass. We all glanced around at each other, checking out the competition. With a nod, the contest began. We lifted our hands, "<em>Arriba</em>!", tapped the shot glasses against the bar, "<em>Abajo</em>!", then clacked the glasses together in the middle, "<em>Al centro!"</em></p>
<p>I licked the salt off my hand, threw the shot back, and then stuck the lime into my mouth. The tequila Tony poured was smooth. Compared to the liquor I usually had this stuff was the liquor of kings and queens.</p>
<p>"See you bitches in 15 minutes!" Darcy slammed her hands on the bar table with a grin before slinking off. Tony had picked the tequila, apparently Darcy was going with Vodka, and I had thirty minutes to figure out what I was going to pick for my round. I glanced around the room, looking for Granny, and finally spotted her sitting on the couch talking to Pepper, May, and Hannah.</p>
<p>Someone slung their arm around my shoulders, and I glanced over to see Clint hanging off me. Like Darcy, he had been tipsy before even starting. Even sober he had a penchant for draping himself over the closet person around him, but with alcohol it only doubled.</p>
<p>"Hiya, Clint." I chirped.</p>
<p>"After we teach you to fight multiple people successfully", Clint began, "Then we are gonna both get drunk and I'll teach you how to fight someone while <em>plastered</em>."</p>
<p>"Who says I don't know how to do that already?"</p>
<p>"Spoken like a true Barton." Clint grinned and leaned back far enough to high five me.</p>
<p>I chuckled and dragged him along with me to go sit with Granny. If he was gonna cling to me like this then he was gonna get dragged along with what I wanted to do, and the only thing I wanted to do, other than kick everyone's asses in drinking, was sit by Granny.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Darcy made them take her shot which she called the '<em>Kamikaze without the Kamikaze'</em>. Aka, it was just a shot of vodka. Sam was determined to not be the first one out of this contest, but the competition looked stiff. He knew for a fact that Tony and Darcy would be the hardest to beat based off what he heard about last Thanksgiving. Rhodey, a longtime friend of Tony, had to be able to hold his own. Clint probably could as well. Sam assumed that was a requirement to being an agent of SHIELD. That left little Aj. Based on her size alone, there was a chance she would be the easiest to take down. However, she was known for surprising people.</p>
<p>Sam looked over to see Aj was still where she had walked to by Thor and Steve after taking her shot. He continued to move over to the couch, tapping on the back of it, "Hey ladies."</p>
<p>"Sam." Pepper greeted.</p>
<p>"Mind if I steal Rosie for a second?" Sam asked. May, Hannah, and Pepper nodded easily, and the older woman rose from the couch to follow him a little ways away from them. He motioned to her, "Can I grab you anything to drink?"</p>
<p>Rosie smiled and shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Wine will knock me right out."</p>
<p>"Speaking of being knocked out, do you know Aj's tolerance for alcohol? Do I have a chance in this little competition?"</p>
<p>She reached out and squeezed his arm, "Oh, dear, I hope you didn't put anything too important on the line."</p>
<p>Sam laughed, "Nah, just my pride and dignity, I guess." He stuck his hands into his pockets and nodded in the direction, "I actually have another question about Aj. A little less fun than the drinking one."</p>
<p>Rosie hummed, "Before she introduced you to me, she mentioned you were her therapist?"</p>
<p>"Not exactly. I'm just a friend trying to help anyway I can." Sam chuckled. "We're all pretty observant around here. For the important stuff, anyways. I was just wondering if there was anything you could tell me that might help."</p>
<p>"What all of y'all have done so far is <em>incredible</em>." Rosie said softly. "This old woman will <em>forever</em> be in debt." Sam shook his head at that, but she continued, "She's been through so much from such a young age. My Aimee Jane is a fighter. She <em>always</em> has been. She's made it her mission in life to always get back up."</p>
<p>Sam nodded in agreement, "She's very strong."</p>
<p>Rosie chuckled, "You know, it's funny. Do you know about her sister?"</p>
<p>"I know she exists." Sam replied. "That she left."</p>
<p>"If Aimee Jane is the sun, then Aubrey is the moon." Rosie said. "They're opposites. Where Aimee Jane is loud and to the point, Aubrey is soft spoken and gentle. Aimee Jane meets tribulation with grit and passion. Aubrey meets it with patience and kindness." Rosie shook her head. A small smile curling up on her lips, "Aimee Jane knows this, and in her head she has it figured out that Aubrey is the <em>loving</em> sister. The <em>tender hearted</em> one, but she's wrong. I have <em>never</em> met someone who loves as deeply as she does."</p>
<p>They both glanced over to where Aj was laughing loudly. She had an arm hooked through Steve's, leaning against his side, while motioning to Thor with a smirk. Thor's own booming laughter joined hers.</p>
<p>Sam chuckled to himself, "She's a really good person. I could see that from the beginning."</p>
<p>"There isn't a single thing in this world that Aimee Jane wouldn't do for the people she loves. She's always been that way. To a fault, I would say." Rosie said. She suddenly reached out again and held his arm. Sam was surprised at the contact and the look of desperation in her eyes. Rosie shook her head once, "Whatever it is y'all are doing…it's working. I've never seen her so happy and carefree before. Even when she started getting better with me in Alabama, I— she was <em>never</em> like this. Sam, I know what it is all of you do here…"</p>
<p>Sam's own smile faltered, "Rosie…"</p>
<p>"I know and I know it's so very dangerous." Rosie squeezed his arm, "Please, keep her safe. Aimee Jane <em>loves</em> y'all. I can see it so clearly in her eyes. She's gotten so good at hiding the worst of her scars, but she can <em>never</em> hide anything in those big, blue eyes of hers. Aimee Jane would do <em>anything</em> for y'all and that <em>terrifies</em> me."</p>
<p>Sam pulled his other hand out of his pocket to rest on top of her hand comfortingly, "Rosie, I swear to you, we won't let her get hurt. She's family."</p>
<p>Rosie gave him a grateful smile. Sam clapped hand over hers again. The more he heard about Aubrey the more he wanted to meet the woman. It felt like she was this missing piece of the puzzle. What Sam thought was interesting was how Rosie spoke about Aubrey in the present. He had been under the impression that Aj had met Rosie after Aubrey left and because of that the older woman had never met the sister before. The way she spoke though sounded different.</p>
<p>"Sam!"</p>
<p>He glanced over to see Aj nodding toward him, "Ready for round three?"</p>
<p>"Good luck." Rosie chuckled. Sam was starting to think he'd need it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>For my round of shots, I made air mail cocktails in shot form. Rum, lime, and a little champagne. For the round after that, Sam made us do fireball which was a new level of hell for me. Then Rhodey made us do whiskey which after the fireball made my stomach feel like it had twisted and turned over. Finally, Clint who picked round six, picked Jägermeister and everyone collectively told him to '<em>fuck off'</em> before taking the poison.</p>
<p>"No, you should stay." I pleaded. At six shots I was teetering on the edge of being completely gone. My tolerance had always been fairly high. That was bad news for my liver, but great news for my chances at winning. "Granny, <em>please</em>."</p>
<p>Granny chuckled and cupped my face, "I'm an old woman. It's past my bedtime."</p>
<p>"I can go with you then."</p>
<p>"And throw in the towel?" Granny asked. She shook her head and pulled me into a tight hug, "I'll be here tomorrow. You can show me around the city. How's that?"</p>
<p>I nodded against her shoulder, "M'kay. I love you, Granny. I'm so <em>sor</em>—"</p>
<p>She pulled away and slapped my side lightly, "No more apologies. I love you, dear. I'll see you in the morning." I stuck my lower lip out into a pout, and she chuckled, "Not too early though."</p>
<p>It wasn't terribly late, a little after 9:30, but people were beginning to filter out at this point. Tony had rented out a few rooms close to the Tower for Granny, Happy, Rhodey, Hannah, and Harley. Happy was going to take everyone to the hotel, minus Rhodey who was still standing strong in the competition, but Harley and Peter were in the process of trying to convince their guardians to let them stay a little longer.</p>
<p>"Please, mom." Harley put on one of those cute faces kids did to win arguments with ease. "I could sleep on the couch like last time!"</p>
<p>Peter was trying to win the same argument with May. I stepped away from Granny to smile at May, "I know this sounds less reassuring because I'm a breath away from being drunk, but I promise to look out for him. He could stay on Steve and I's couch tonight."</p>
<p>"<em>Steve's and your couch?"</em> Clint hummed in amusement, and maybe if my brain wasn't hazy with a myriad of various alcohols, I'd be able to figure out why he found that so funny.</p>
<p>May grabbed my hand, "Are you sure? I don't want to intrude on you guys."</p>
<p>"It's no intrusion at all." I said firmly and set my hand on Peter's shoulder. Peter, content with shutting up and letting me take control of the conversation, just grinned. I went to pull my phone out of my back pocket, to get May's number, but it slipped from my inebriated fingers. I expected to watch it hit the floor and break, but instead I watched as Peter snatched it out of the air. He held it up for me, "Whoa, thanks Petey. Nice catch."</p>
<p>I swapped numbers with May and then pulled Granny into another hug. Thanks to being one of the bigger dumbasses in the universe, I was ten years behind on hugs with her. I refused to miss out on anymore. When they finally left, after I hugged Granny one last time, Darcy dragged me over to the bar where the other competitors waited.</p>
<p>"Round 7!" She yelled.</p>
<p>"Are you guys sure this is a good idea?" Jane questioned with a chuckle.</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Absolutely not." My eyes darted over to Natasha, "How come you aren't playing with us?"</p>
<p>"Because she would drink us all under the table without blinking." Clint answered for her. "She's <em>Russian</em>."</p>
<p>It was Tony's turn to pick again, and to my surprise he made us all B-52 shots. That was a nice break from the last two rounds. However, this was also the shot that took me from '<em>oh, hey I'm kind of feeling this'</em> to '<em>hoo boy, light's out in five'</em>. In the process of that switch, Maria Hill had slipped out with a laugh and quick nod, Bruce and Betty left with a soft spoken '<em>Happy Thanksgiving and please drink responsibly</em>', and Thor and Jane left as well with a loud farewell. That left the competitors, Pepper, Natasha, Harley, Peter, and Steve.</p>
<p>"Well, I had a game in mind, but it was a drinking game. Since thing 1 and thing 2 are still here", Tony motioned to the boys who looked up in surprise at his voice, "Then I guess I'll have to find something PG-13. Come on, Aimee Jane."</p>
<p>He hooked his arm around my shoulder and dragged me down the hallway. I wrapped my arm around his side with a light glare, "Aj. Not Aimee Jane. <em>Aj</em>."</p>
<p>"Isn't that what I said?" Tony questioned and pulled open a closet door.</p>
<p>My eyes blinked in surprise at the collection of various games, "You have board games?"</p>
<p>"Of course, I do, I'm not a <em>heathen</em>." Tony scoffed.</p>
<p>"<em>How is that even</em>—never mind, whatever." I replied and wondered why this was the first I was seeing of this. Nothing would be more satisfying than kicking the Avengers' asses in Monopoly. I pulled one out, a thick box with the words '<em>Settlers of Catan'</em> on it, and held it up, "Oh my God, Tony Stark, you're a <em>giant</em> fucking nerd."</p>
<p>"I <em>will</em> fire your ass." Tony threatened, snatching the game from me, "Right here, right now, on a holiday. I do not care."</p>
<p>I snickered as he swapped the game for something else. The box said werewolf on it, and I narrowed my eyes, "What is this?" He flipped the box over, holding it up to me, and I quickly read over a few words, "Oh, I know this. Played it college before. We called it mafia though."</p>
<p>"Yeah, there are like 20 different versions of this, but they're all the same."</p>
<p>"I can be moderator!" I slapped him in the chest lightly. "I am <em>so</em> good at being moderator."</p>
<p>"And so <em>humble</em>." Tony added. "Will you be able to moderate after you pass out during the next round of shots?"</p>
<p>When we came back into the room, we were greeted by the sight of Rhodey and Clint arm wrestling while Natasha egged them on. Both boys had picked Rhodey to cheer on so the archer was complaining loudly while trying to win. Tony walked over and hit Clint in the side of the head causing him to slip and lose then complain even louder.</p>
<p>"I know my usual idiots know how to play", Tony looked to Peter, "Do you know how to play this?"</p>
<p>"Oh yeah, Mr. Stark!" Peter nodded in excitement, "The rest of the debate club and I play it when we're traveling to other schools. Who's gonna be the announcer?"</p>
<p>I lifted my hand with a grin, but Darcy held her hands up to stop everything, "Shot first!"</p>
<p>"We <em>just</em> took shots." Sam groaned.</p>
<p>"I vote we change every 15 minutes to every time someone in the game is murdered by werewolves." Darcy replied.</p>
<p>"<em>Hear hear</em>!" Tony called out.</p>
<p>Darcy had us take a shot of plain vodka again and then we all sat around the living room in preparation to play. Tony sat on the couch and Pepper sat beside him, back to the armrest and legs over his own. Clint and Natasha also sat on the couch, Steve was relaxing in the single seat couch, Rhodey sat on the love seat with Darcy sprawled out beside him, and both boys sat criss-cross on the floor. Sam was on the floor with them, but he was lying back nearly passed out. Something told me he wasn't surviving the next round of shots.</p>
<p>I shuffled the cards, dealt them out, and then told everyone to close their eyes. Tony chimed in and asked JARVIS to notify him if anyone cheats so he could fist fight them and Pepper shushed him.</p>
<p>"<em>Maf</em>—Uh, <em>werewolves</em> wake up." I commanded. This was a game I played a number of times in college actually. The dorm I stayed at liked to indulge in it and even though I never really made friends I still joined in. I started being the moderator because it was an easy way to separate myself from them, but then I got <em>really </em>good at it. As it turns out, I'm good at talking out my ass.</p>
<p>Peter, Steve, and Natasha all lifted their heads, glancing at each other, and I smirked. Oh, this was great. I told them to put their heads down then woke up the police officer. Pepper raised her head with a smile, and I nodded once. She dropped her head, I woke up the Doctor, and Rhodey picked up his head in response. <em>Interesting</em>. I gave him a thumbs up and sent him back to his metaphorical bed.</p>
<p>"Werewolves wake up." I said and when they lifted their heads, I spoke again, "Who do you want to kill?"</p>
<p>Without hesitation, both Steve and Natasha pointed to Clint. Peter blinked in surprise and quickly joined them. I resisted the urge to chuckle and then tried to think of their mission. The mission was a motion they had to complete during the "day" before everyone went back to "sleep". I discreetly scratched the side of my face then they went back to sleep after acknowledging it. Next I woke up Pepper, who pointed to Tony and I shook my head no to tell her he wasn't a werewolf. Lastly, I woke up Rhodey.</p>
<p>"Doctor, who would you like to save?" I questioned. Rhodey glanced around then shrugged and pointed to himself. I nodded, "Ok go back to sleep." After a second, I continued, "Alright, everyone wake up." They all raised their heads and I began to circle around them while I spoke, "The citizens of <em>Avengers-opolis</em> awoke to a <em>beautiful</em>, sunny morning. Of course, this was all interrupted by <em>murder</em> when the police found Clint's body in a dumpster."</p>
<p>Clint shot up from his seat, "Ok, which one of you <em>motherfuckers</em> killed me <em>first</em>?!"</p>
<p>I set my hands on his shoulders and shoved him down into his seat again, "Sorry, Clint, dead people don't talk."</p>
<p>"Don't think I won't get back at you for that dumpster joke either." Clint pointed up at me. He moved to go get us our shots and I continued the flow of the game.</p>
<p>This was gonna be good.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve sat in his seat hiding a smirk with his hand. The game was getting intense, as every game they play within these walls typically did, and the shot contest had only added to the trash fire it was. Sam had taken one more shot after the game started and then threw in the towel. A little after that Pepper ended up being killed which was a real hit since she ended up being the police officer. At some point, around shot nine, the remaining players found out that Rhodey was the doctor and was picking to save himself every time which nearly threw Tony and him into a fist fight.</p>
<p>Now the only remaining shot contestants was Aj, Tony, and Clint. Darcy had fallen asleep, apparently the drinks she had before the shots had hindered her talents, and Rhodey had thrown in the towel to focus on the game. The only players remaining in the group game were Peter, Rhodey, and Tony. This was the werewolves' last chance to win.</p>
<p>Clint, Tony, and Aj took another shot before she sent them to sleep. Steve chuckled to himself as Aj stretched her arms over her head and shook her head. Her cheeks were painted with a drunk, pink glow and every word out of her mouth was dripping in the southern drawl she tried so hard to hide. If Tony wasn't so focused on winning the game he'd be teasing her for it. Steve just found it cute.</p>
<p>"Werewolf, wake up!" Aj cheered. "Who do you want to kill?" Peter pointed to Tony. It was the only logical choice because Rhodey would just save himself so trying to kill him was pointless. Technically it would get them a tie which was more or less a default win for their side. Aj shook her head, surprising Peter, him, and every other "dead" player watching. "Take your time werewolf. Point when you're ready."</p>
<p>Peter blinked in surprise, pointed to Tony again, but drunk Aj just shook her head again. The boy slowly turned his hand to point at Rhodey instead.</p>
<p>"Alright, got it, werewolf. Now your mission is this." Aj looked to Peter and began to wave her hands in front of her. She shook them side to side once while motioning her wrists downwards like an '<em>X'</em>. Steve's smirk grew and he glanced over to Clint and Natasha who looked equally as impressed. Aj was knock down drunk and she was <em>scheming</em>. Peter put his head down and Aj woke up Rhodey, "Who would you like to—" Rhodey pointed to himself with a thumbs up and she grinned, "Got it, Doc."</p>
<p>When she woke them back and continued to circle around the couches. Steve watched her stumble once and chuckled to himself under his breath. Aj clapped her hands, "Well, as it turns out, the werewolf tried to devour Rhodey, but thanks to Rhodey's <em>quick medical skills</em>—"</p>
<p>"Oh, look, you <em>finally</em> saved someone." Tony mocked.</p>
<p>Rhodey narrowed his eyes at him, "Yeah, I guess I did."</p>
<p>"Don't fucking look at me like that." Tony said and pointed to Peter, "I told you it's the kid! The kid is the werewolf."</p>
<p>Peter shook his head, "I swear it's not me!"</p>
<p>Rhodey shook his head, "Then how come the kid didn't kill you?"</p>
<p>"I don't know! Ask the kid!" Tony argued back.</p>
<p>Aj managed to get around the couches and was currently standing behind Peter. Rhodey turned in his seat slightly, to look at Peter, and pointed to him, "It's over, kid. We're at the end here. Give it up."</p>
<p>"Mr. War Machine, sir." Peter lifted his hands and began to shake them just like Aj had done earlier, "I <em>swear</em> it isn't me. I'm <em>not</em>—"</p>
<p>"Mission accomplished." Aj interrupted the kid.</p>
<p>Rhodey whipped around to look at Tony who looked startled by Rhodey's glare, "What!?"</p>
<p>"I was staring at Peter this <em>entire</em> time—"</p>
<p>"Don't you dare. <em>Don't you dare</em>, I swear to <em>God</em>, I'll take the suit back—"</p>
<p>Peter leaned forward, "I saw Mr. Stark move out of the corner of my eye, I—I don't know what he did but…"</p>
<p>"<em>Oh my God</em>." Tony stood up.</p>
<p>Rhodey jumped up as well, "It's <em>you</em>!"</p>
<p>"What do you mean, <em>'it's you',</em> I told you!" Tony scoffed, "<em>You</em> are the doctor who keeps saving his <em>own ass</em> this entire game—"</p>
<p>"It's a <em>strategy</em>." Rhodey spat back.</p>
<p>"I'm the <em>poor</em>, <em>defenseless</em> civilian who's somehow survived this long, and Peter is the <em>last damn werewolf</em>!"</p>
<p>Rhodey shook his head, "I have a nomination." Aj motioned for him to continue and he pointed to Tony while Peter nodded in agreement, "It's Tony. Tony's the werewolf."</p>
<p>"Traitor. Absolutely traitorous. See what happens next time you need an update, War Machine." Tony threw back at him.</p>
<p>Aj clapped her hands again, "Well, the votes seem to have it. Majority rules." Rhodey pumped his fist once. "<em>Werewolves win</em>."</p>
<p>"Werew—<em>what</em>?" Rhodey spun and glared at her.</p>
<p>Peter beamed up at the man from the floor and Rhodey closed his eyes in defeat. Tony was quick to remind him that it was his own fault though, "All those years of friendship, <em>down the drain</em>, because you fell for the kid's <em>doe</em> eyes!"</p>
<p>Rhodey whipped back on him, "You were being <em>suspicious</em>."</p>
<p>"I was <em>trying</em> to clear my name!" Tony argued.</p>
<p>Clint cupped his mouth, "<em>Loser</em>!"</p>
<p>"Hey, at least I didn't end up <em>dead in dumpster</em> during the first round."</p>
<p>"That's hurtful!"</p>
<p>Aj just giggled to herself and Tony finally noticed her. Before he could begin to attack her though, Pepper stood and wrapped her arms around him with a grin, "It's time for bed, my dear, mature boyfriend."</p>
<p>"Someone cheated. <em>JARVIS</em>?" Tony scoffed. Pepper pushed herself up slightly to whisper in his ear. He grumbled and gave in quickly after that. Everyone stood up to begin to move around. Harley was passed out, his head leaning against the side of the couch Rhodey had been sitting on. Even all the yelling hadn't woken the kid. Tony bent over and threw the kid over his shoulder making him stir. Pepper murmured one last '<em>Happy Thanksgiving'</em> before following after them.</p>
<p>Rhodey scooped up Darcy, saying he'd drop her off on Thor's floor, before taking a cab to his hotel. Natasha dragged Clint away while he moaned and complained about not taking more shots. Steve pulled Sam off the ground and laid him down on the penthouse couch with a chuckle. He turned to see Peter sitting on the floor beside Aj while she cooed at him with a bright grin.</p>
<p>"Hey, Mr. Rogers, am I staying with you guys tonight?" Peter asked.</p>
<p>"Just Steve, and yeah kid." Steve replied. He walked over and helped Aj get up to her feet. Even standing still she was stumbling, her knees buckling a little, and he kept a firm grip on her arms, "You alright?"</p>
<p>Aj hummed and lifted a finger to tap on his nose, "Capt'n Rogers, I'm doin' <em>fannnntastic</em>. Jus' daises an' sunshine."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "Come on."</p>
<p>Peter followed him to the elevator and Aj had looped one of her arms through his to keep herself steady. The kid was still grinning ear to ear, "That was <em>so</em> cool! Aj, <em>how'd</em> you think of that?"</p>
<p>"I wanted my team to win." Aj shrugged. "Mafia all the way. Or werewolves. Same difference."</p>
<p>Steve listened to Peter and Aj bounce excited sentiments off one another as they rode the elevator down. When they got to his floor, he nodded to Peter, "Let me get Aj settled and I'll grab you a toothbrush and some stuff. There's a blanket around here somewhere."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Mr—uh, Steve."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled and helped Aj into his room. She was mumbling something that sounded like a song under her breath. He set her down on the side of his bed and she flopped onto her back with a laugh, "We <em>won</em>, Steve."</p>
<p>"That we did. Thanks to you." Steve replied.</p>
<p>She sat back up and he tried to get her back into bed, but she shook her head, "I wanna change an' wash my face. Where're you sleepin'?"</p>
<p>"I got a recliner in my office."</p>
<p>"Dummy." She lifted her hands and pressed them against his cheeks. Steve felt his face heat up and he untangled her hands from his face while clearing his throat. Aj giggled, "Jus' sleep in 'ere."</p>
<p>Steve felt his mouth go dry and the room was suddenly warm. He chuckled, "I—"</p>
<p>"We slept on the couch jus' fine an' this has <em>way</em> more room." She threw herself back, arms outstretched, as proof. She wasn't wrong, but it was different. Sleeping together on a bed purposefully versus passing out on a couch accidentally just felt different. Aj took in a deep breath, "No biggie. I promise I won' make a move on ya, Capt'n."</p>
<p>Steve thought she was trying to wink, but it came out more as an absurd, strained blink. He laughed under his breath and put his hands on his hips, "Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea, Aj."</p>
<p>"Come oooooooon." Aj stretched the word out. He crossed the room to grab her sleep shirt and shorts and then brought it back to her. She took them and hugged them to her chest with a grin. He could convince her when he came back. Hell, maybe she'd just be passed out by time he got back.</p>
<p>Steve grabbed a pair of sweatpants and spare toothbrush and went back out to the kid. Peter had found the knitted blanket Aj left here for Netflix nights. He had also stripped out of his button up shirt to leave him in a plain white t-shirt.</p>
<p>"Thanks!" Peter chirped when Steve handed over the stuff. He set it down before motioning to him, "I, uh, I didn't know you and Aj were dating. Mj never mentioned it. That's cool!"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "No, it's not like that. We're just good friends."</p>
<p>"O—Oh, sorry, I didn't mean—"</p>
<p>"It's fine, kid." Steve chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder, "Let me know if you need anything, ok?"</p>
<p>Peter agreed happily and Steve walked over to the kitchen to grab a few water bottles. He tossed one to Peter, that the kid caught easily, and then walked back to his bedroom with the other two. He half expected, <em>hoped</em>, that Aj would be out like a light, but instead he got the exact opposite. His eyebrows rose in confusion when he spotted her across the dark room standing in front of the large window. She was staring out of it, changed into her baggy t-shirt, with her arms wrapped around herself.</p>
<p>Steve set the bottles onto the bed and made his way toward her, "Aj? You ok?"</p>
<p>"They look like <em>stars</em>." She replied softly. He stopped beside her, keeping some distance between the two of them, and glanced over at her. She had taken her hair down so now it hung around her shoulders in a mess. Aj's tired gaze drifted to him briefly, "The city looks like stars from up here."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess it does."</p>
<p>"I used to stargaze… when I was little, that is. If you go deep 'nough into the 'bama woods the night lights disappear an' the sky comes to life." She smiled to herself. "When I first got to New York, I think that's what I missed the most. Other than Granny, of course. It felt like…It felt like I was on a <em>whole new planet</em>. Even the sky wasn' the same." Aj let out a laugh that didn't quite sound as happy as it should, "Turns out I just wasn' lookin' in the right direction. Kept lookin' up…hopin'—hopin' to catch sight of a star an' feel somethin'… <em>anythin'</em>."</p>
<p>"Aj, you should get to bed."</p>
<p>"Now, I'm lookin' down an' I see <em>all</em> the stars an' <em>I feel eveythin'</em>." Aj finished softly.</p>
<p>Steve pressed his lips together and he reached out to lightly set his hand on her elbow. She turned as he did it so most of her body faced him, but she kept her gaze on the skyline. Steve couldn't remember the last time he got drunk. The last time he even tried was when he lost Bucky, but the serum wouldn't give him that reprieve. He knew the gist of it though. Alcohol could make you feel really, really good until suddenly…it <em>didn't</em>.</p>
<p>He gave up on trying to keep space and set his other hand on her back trying to offer any comfort that he could, "What's going on in your head, sweetheart?"</p>
<p>"I can't tell you." Aj replied quietly, she finally glanced at him again, "It'll make you sad too, an' I don't ever wanna make you sad, Steve."</p>
<p>Steve's eyebrows furrowed in even more confusion, "Hey, you don't worry about that. What's going on?"</p>
<p>He rubbed her back with his hands as soothingly as he could. Steve could feel something under his hand, something under her shirt. He pressed down a little more on what felt like faintly raised edges, but Aj turned to face him. Steve pulled her hands away as she crossed her own arms. Now he was starting to get worried.</p>
<p>"Aj—"</p>
<p>"Do you think Tos— <em>Bucky</em> can see the stars? Wherever he is?"</p>
<p>The question caught Steve off guard entirely. It was the last thing he expected her to ask about in this moment between them. He could understand why she didn't want to bring the topic up though. Steve didn't mention it to her either, but he was still looking. They all were. Clint and Natasha constantly had their sources reporting back to them and even Sam was doing everything he could. Maybe he should've brought her into the loop though. He would've if he had known this was plaguing her so badly.</p>
<p>"I'm sure he can." Steve nodded.</p>
<p>"I hope he had a good thanksgivin'." Aj sighed. "He could've been here with us if I had been stronger."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "What?"</p>
<p>"You guys <em>came</em> to the bunker. You were comin' for me, but <em>he was there</em>. If I hadn' gotten sick like that… if I had just lasted a <em>little</em> longer than you would've found both of us in that bunker—"</p>
<p>"Aj…" Steve narrowed his gaze, "Aj, <em>no</em>."</p>
<p>"I'm <em>sorry</em>. He saved me. He <em>saved</em> me, an' I couldn' even last long enough to save him." Aj's lower lip quivered. "You could've saved us both, I'm—<em>I'm sorry.</em> I'm sorr—"</p>
<p>"Stop that." Steve said firmly and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face in his chest and he rested his chin on top of her head. Steve had thought about it before. He had wondered what would've happened if they had just been a little quicker, if the timeline had just been a little different, but never, <em>never</em>, did he ever paint Aj in any sort of negative light. "Aj, literally <em>none</em> of that is your fault. You couldn't control that. It was out of your hands." She mumbled something, but Steve didn't catch it even with his super hearing. It had been too muffled against him. He sighed and pulled her back some to look her in the eyes. With alcohol in her system and her walls not quite as tightly held up as they usually were, all he could see in her eyes was pain. He cupped her face, "It wasn't your fault. What even brought this on?"</p>
<p>Aj pressed her lips together once before speaking, "Granny is here an' I love her an' I <em>love</em> that you brought her back to me, but it jus'…it <em>reminds</em> me that I <em>hurt</em> the people I love, Steve. It's what I do an—an' I don't wanna hurt y'all." Aj's eyes filled with tears and she shook her head, "I hurt Bucky and—"</p>
<p>"No, Aj. No." Steve sighed and shifted his hand to cover her mouth briefly. When he was sure she would stop talking he pulled her hand away, "You aren't going to hurt us. You didn't hurt Bucky, I swear to you and… and I don't want you thinking like that. Hell, I can guarantee you that Bucky wouldn't want you thinking that way either."</p>
<p>She pressed forward, back into his arms, and Steve just wrapped his own around her. He leaned his cheek on the top of her head and let his hands go back to tracing faint lines up and down her back. He let out a soft sigh. Sometimes, when she danced around the room mumbling a song or laughed at Clint or smiled so brightly that Steve was sure it had to be illegal to look so much like walking sunshine, they only saw progress. The saw her healing, and she was. She was doing so well, but in a moment like this he knew they were only scratching the top of the surface. Aj was so strong, but she was still hurting.</p>
<p>"You aren't hurting anyone, Aj. I'd be lying if I said you weren't one of the best things to happen to me in <em>this</em> century." Steve said softly. He wasn't sure how she handled a hangover and wasn't sure if she would even remember this moment. "And we're going to find Bucky. We're going to find him, and he can tell you himself that you never hurt him. That you could <em>never</em>."</p>
<p>Steve could feel the tension begin to leave her frame and her breathing was calming. There was a decent chance she was falling asleep standing up at this point. He really needed to get her to bed. Steve traced her spine with his hand one more time and the thought that those faintly raised edges under her shirt that could be scars. He wanted to press his palm flat against her back, feel exactly how bad the possible scar was, but that would be a huge invasion of privacy. Aj didn't want to talk about it yet so he would leave it alone. Steve just hoped she'd open up to someone eventually.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>I woke up a with a groan and mentally planned to fist fight whoever convinced me to take ten shots of worse and worse liquors. Granted, that meant I would probably be fist fighting myself, but I've been wanting to do that for years. I opened my eyes to a bright room then immediately shut them and buried my face into the pillow I had been sleeping on. It smelled like Steve so I assumed at some point last night he had dragged my drunk ass to bed. After leaving my face buried in the pillow for a good ten or fifteen minutes, I forced myself to emerge. The room was bright, after a few minutes my eyes finally adjusted.</p>
<p>I glanced over at the nightstand to see a brand-new water bottle resting by a bottle of ibuprofen. A small smile graced my hungover features and I happily grabbed both items. Food would also help the shitty way I felt, but I figured after I got myself together I could go find Granny and we could do breakfast or lunch together. As I sat there, after taking three pills, nursing the water in my hands, I tried to piece together my last memories of last night. Vaguely, I remembered winning the game last night, but that was the last concrete memory I had.</p>
<p>"Hey, how's the head?" I turned and Steve stepped into the room a sweaty mess. Sometimes I wondered what kind of work out he did in the morning to leave him looking like this. I mean, fighting with me, Clint, and Sam for an hour didn't even faze him.</p>
<p>I lifted the water bottle with a grimace of a smile, "Thanks for the meds and water, Steve. You're the best."</p>
<p>"I know." Steve joked and walked closer, a water bottle of his own in his hands. He nodded out the door, "Happy brought Rosie this morning then took Peter home. She's upstairs."</p>
<p>"Oof. I need to get ready then." I groaned and rubbed my eyes.</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "You wanna take a shower?"</p>
<p>As he opened the bottle and began to take a sip, I smirked and replied, "Rogers, you trying to get me in there with you?"</p>
<p>Watching Captain America choke on his water was definitely one of the funnier things I've experienced in my life. Despite the fact that moving made my headache worse, I couldn't stop the body shaking laughter that fell from my lips. Steve coughed loudly to clear his throat, narrowing his eyes at me, and I laughed even more.</p>
<p>"<em>Funny</em>." He pointed the water bottle at me.</p>
<p>"Oh, Steve, you make it <em>too easy</em> sometimes." I grinned. "Besides, it's <em>your</em> bathroom. You should take a shower first. Of the two of us, you're the one sweaty and smelly."</p>
<p>Steve's lips quickly quirked up into a smirk but was gone just as quick as it came. He reached up to use the towel hanging on his shoulder to wipe some sweat from his face then took a deep breath before walking closer. I gave him a curious look that he ignored. Steve suddenly leaned down into my personal space. His face was close enough that my eyes briefly went crossed as they tried to follow him in.</p>
<p>"The thing is", Steve said in a low voice, a full smirk on his face now, "Maybe I <em>was</em> trying to get you in there with me."</p>
<p>Maybe it was the heat radiating off of him, but my entire face went warm. Hell, I could feel the warmth flush down my neck as well. I think I was still breathing, but there was really no telling at this point.</p>
<p>"I, uh, I—<em>you</em>." I eloquently stumbled over my words.</p>
<p>Steve pulled back suddenly. His own cheeks were flushed, probably from his work out, and he chuckled, "Who makes it too easy?"</p>
<p>"<em>Hoo boy</em>. You…" I bit down on my lower lip, scrunching up my nose, then shook my head with a laugh, "Captain Rogers, I thought you said you had no game?"</p>
<p>Steve shrugged with a smile, "Guess I did learn a thing or two watching Bucky pick up all those dames."</p>
<p>At the sound of that name another vague memory drifted through my head. I scrunched my eyebrows together in thought, "Steve, did we…?"</p>
<p>"Talk about Bucky last night?" Steve finished my thought. My eyes widened and he gave me a small nod, "He came up, yeah."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "<em>Shit</em>, I don't remember anything we talked about last night. I know it had something to do with Bucky and…maybe <em>stars</em>…" I shifted to get out of bed, "What did we talk about?"</p>
<p>"Uh…" Steve hesitated.</p>
<p>I groaned, "Oh, geez, was it <em>that</em> bad?"</p>
<p>He chuckled and shook his head. Steve held out his hand and without hesitation I placed mine in his much larger one. He pulled me up then squeezed my hand once, mulling something over in his head, before speaking again, "Bucky slipping away from us in Russia… You know that had nothing to do with you, right?"</p>
<p>My eyes widened. <em>Aw, shit.</em> Sober me spent so much time making sure that back door in my brain wasn't going to open again, and dumbass, drunk me just kicked the chair out and swung it wide open. Drunk Aj was always <em>such</em> a dick to sober Aj.</p>
<p>"Oh." I said slowly. "Logically, I know that. Sometimes, I guess I just…"</p>
<p>"Blame yourself for everything? Even things entirely out of your control?"</p>
<p>I gave him a sad smile, "Bad habits die hard?"</p>
<p>"And—"</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus, there's more?"</em></p>
<p>Steve chuckled and squeezed my hand once more, "I just wanted to tell you how happy I am to be your friend." I could feel my features softening. What brought this on? What had I said last night to him? "You won't hurt me." <em>Oh, that</em>. "And even if you did, which again there's <em>no way</em> you'd ever purposely hurt me—I know that…I think the risk might be worth it. To have you in my life."</p>
<p>My face was burning again and this time I didn't even have the excuse of saying Steve was in my face. This was purely an emotional embarrassment. My <em>favorite</em> kind. I don't know what made drunk me think to talk about all this last night, especially since we had been having so much fun, but I was mentally swearing off shots. Swearing off alcohol in general would be unrealistic of me.</p>
<p>"Steve, I'd never purposely hurt you, but… I don't know." I said softly. God, this was a million times harder sober. No wonder I only talked about this kind of shit while I was plastered. I sucked in a sharp breath, "I'm kind of like a poison, I just—"</p>
<p>Steve did potentially the most <em>surprising</em> thing at that point. He spun around me, hooked my arm over his shoulder, and then Captain America <em>flipped me over his shoulder</em>. Literally. His first motion had made it so I was flipped onto the bed, but it was jarring all the same. Breathlessly, I stared up at his features that were now upside down to me.</p>
<p>"What did Nat say about talking shit about yourself?"</p>
<p>"To not to." I said in disbelief. He had flipped me. Steve had <em>actually</em> flipped me.</p>
<p>"JARVIS, are Thor and Jane still in Aj's room?" Steve asked.</p>
<p>"<em>Not at the moment, Captain. The entire floor is vacant. Even Ms. Lewis has left the premises</em>."</p>
<p>Steve smirked, "Your shower is open. Don't wanna keep Rosie waiting too long, huh?" He tapped my forehead with his finger once. "You make us happy here, Aj. Don't overthink it."</p>
<p>He left for his bathroom, and I just laid there on his bed in shock. It wasn't until his shower started that I snapped out of my disbelief. Quickly, I rolled back off the bed, flinching when the quick movements made my head throb, and glanced around the room for my bag. Hindsight, at least Natasha hadn't been the one to flip me this time. She definitely wouldn't have utilized the bed at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"I may have grabbed her number last night after taking her home. Just casually, you know. Playing it cool."</p>
<p>"I didn't know you had a cool bone in your body."</p>
<p>"Oh, ha ha. Not all of us can be billionaire playboys."</p>
<p>"The word <em>genius</em> and <em>philanthropist</em> should be somewhere in the middle of that."</p>
<p>Rhodey chuckled to himself as he watched Tony antagonize poor Happy. Next to tinkering in the lab and drinking, it was one of his best friend's favorite hobbies. One of those hobbies though was the reason why Tony was chipper as ever this morning while Rhodey nursed a small headache behind his eyes. It had been a minute and a half since he had drank like he did last night. Still, he beat out Sam and Darcy so there was that, though losing to someone Aj's size was a little embarrassing.</p>
<p>"Tones, would you—" He began.</p>
<p>Tony lifted his finger to stop his words, "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak <em>traitor</em>."</p>
<p>"Are you <em>still</em> on that?" Rhodey chuckled.</p>
<p>"I lost to a <em>3rd grader</em> and a <em>five foot three girl</em> who probably wasn't even <em>seeing straight</em> at that point. All because of <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>Rhodey scoffed, "You should take a little more credit on that loss. If you hadn't—"</p>
<p>"You saved yourself <em>every</em> single time—"</p>
<p>"—just because you don't know how to <em>strategize</em>—"</p>
<p>"—and <em>another</em> thing, how are you gonna—"</p>
<p>The lab door opened making all three men look over to see Bruce standing there with Rosie. He had on his lab coat already, probably ready to play catch up on some things he had put aside to spend time with Betty, and Rosie wore jeans and a Christmas sweater.</p>
<p>"Sorry to interrupt." Bruce chuckled, knowing damn well nothing he interrupted was important in any way, "Rosie wanted to say hi while she waits for Aj to get ready."</p>
<p>"Morning, Rosie." Rhodey greeted with a smile that Happy echoed.</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "Sunshine Senior, it's a <em>little</em> early for the Christmas sweater."</p>
<p>"Mr. Stark", Rosie began, ignoring when Tony corrected her usage of his name, "The moment Thanksgiving supper ends, it's Christmas season."</p>
<p>"That doesn't sound accurate." Tony shook his head.</p>
<p>Rhodey grinned, "Well, I like it, Rosie. Christmas season is my favorite."</p>
<p>"Of course, it is, <em>traitor</em>. Just keep <em>betraying</em> me. See what happens." Tony grumbled.</p>
<p>"Ignore him." Rhodey followed his own advice and continued, "He's bitter because Aj kicked his ass last night at his own game."</p>
<p>Rosie's eyes widened, "She beat you in that shots competition?"</p>
<p>"No, no, no." Tony was quick to correct, "She beat me at werewolf, not drinking, and even the werewolf game is questionable. I think she cheated."</p>
<p>Rosie shook her head, "Oh, no. Not my Aimee Jane. Cheating is worse than losing in her eyes, and she <em>really</em> hates losing." Bruce set a hand on her shoulder, mumbling a good-bye, but Rosie wouldn't let him slip away so easily. She herded him back to the others, "Before you go, Dr. Banner, I wanted to say something to all of you."</p>
<p>The curiosity of every man in the lab had been piqued and they paid attention to the older woman. She clasped her hands together in front of her and pasted a warm, sweet smile on her soft features, "I am so grateful for all of you taking Aimee Jane under your wings. I was hoping to express my gratitude to more of you, but I'm sure you can pass along my thanks."</p>
<p>"Without a doubt." Tony replied.</p>
<p>Rhodey, knowing full well that Tony would be content with sharing the thanks with maybe Pepper and then rubbing it in Clint's face, nodded himself, "I'll make sure the thanks gets passed along."</p>
<p>"Also, one more thing, I know all of you are these <em>amazing</em> Avengers—"</p>
<p>Tony pointed to Happy and Rhodey, "They aren't Avengers and the word amazing might be a stretch—"</p>
<p>Ignoring Tony's words, while Happy and Rhodey glared at Tony, Rosie continued without missing a beat or letting her smile falter, "But if anything were to happen to Aimee Jane, whether she get caught up in your business or, <em>God forbid</em>, was hurt by any of you specifically, I <em>will</em> come back up to New York City to murder you."</p>
<p>The men in the room blinked in shock and questioned whether or not they were even hearing her correctly. Bruce cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, did you just say—"</p>
<p>"I never had children of my own, but by all counts and measures she's my baby girl." Rosie said firmly. "I know I probably wouldn't get away with murdering an Avenger, but I'm an old woman. I've lived my life. I have nothing to lose."</p>
<p>Tony smirked, "Rosie, you're a <em>badass</em>. Do you want to be an honorary Avenger? I'll grab the paperwork."</p>
<p>Rhodey smiled to himself as Rosie continued to chat with Tony and Bruce, Happy joining in anytime Tony made a dig at him. It took some balls to threaten the Avengers. Balls or some real strong motherly love. Rhodey understood it though. He could see it in the way Rosie cooed over Aj last night, and how anytime she introduced her to someone or did something, Aj would look to Rosie like a child looking for their mother's proud approval. Tony had filled him in on the details of the small woman. Hell, Tony never shut up about Aj. Rhodey understood that too. Tony found someone like him. Aj lost her mother in a tragic accident, something that shouldn't have happened, and had a father that only left her with disappointment at the end. He was sure they both loved their fathers, Rhodey knew Tony loved his dad despite the shit he was put through, but that couldn't be helped sometimes. Disappointment was still the theme with both figures. Plus, just like Tony, Aj hid her scars and emotional vulnerability through snark and smirks. Watching Aj last night, it reminded him of the Tony he met in University. Tony had latched onto her so quickly because he found a similar soul in her and he was desperately trying to keep her from making the mistakes he did.</p>
<p>It also didn't help that anytime Tony saw someone with a shitty father or without a strong, male role model in their life his paternal instincts kicked into high gear.</p>
<p>"—she was <em>very</em> pretty." Rosie said with a nod as Rhodey focused back in on the conversation. Bruce was snickering into his hand.</p>
<p>Tony pointed to Happy, "Well, the good news is that Happy played it <em>really</em> cool—"</p>
<p>"Why do you do this to me?" Happy scoffed.</p>
<p>Rhodey chuckled himself and through the glass walls he could see Aj walk out of the elevator while talking to Natasha. He pointed her out and Rosie began to say her good-byes. She'd see Happy again, he would take her to the private jet later today, but this was probably the last time she'd see him, Tony, and Bruce until her next visit.</p>
<p>Despite, Tony and Bruce being more in Aj's life than him, she still took the time to pull him into a hug. He returned it, rubbing her back slightly. Rhodey nodded at her when she pulled away, "Don't worry. I'll keep an eye on her."</p>
<p>Rosie said one more good-bye before leaving the lab. Rhodey had just met Aj yesterday, but he meant his words sincerely. He didn't know the woman well yet. Only knew the stories and facts Tony would spout to him, but she was an important person in Tony's life and that was all that mattered. Taking care of the people Tony cared about went hand in hand with protecting Tony. It was a habit he made in University and it only grew as they did. Between him and the actual Avengers, Aj was probably the most protected person on planet Earth.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a chill in the air, one I had gotten used to years ago, but I knew Granny was new to this kind of weather. It was why I brought my thick, gray peacoat for her to wear while we toured the city. She had her own windbreaker, but the windbreaker was no match for New York weather.</p>
<p>We had gotten lunch at one of the places I went to pick up food for Tony and others during the week. Being able to treat Rosie to a fancy, New York lunch was a dream come true. I made sure we sat at a nice table with the best view, and then when we finished and left I continued the trend by buying her coffee and nearly every souvenir we passed. It was such a little thing to do, nothing compared to what she's done for me, but it felt nice to be able to finally provide something to the woman who had saved my life all those years ago.</p>
<p>"I'm so proud of you, Aimee Jane." Granny said softly. We were sitting on a bench in Central Park just continuing to catch up and enjoy each other's company.</p>
<p>My head had been resting on her shoulder when she spoke, but I picked it up to look at her. She was smiling at me and even though she had said the words aloud to me, I was still surprised to see nothing but pride drawn out on her features.</p>
<p>"Granny, I made a lot of stupid mistakes—"</p>
<p>"Silly girl, <em>everyone</em> makes mistakes. It's not about the mistakes. It's about how you handle the life that is put in front of you." Granny replied, her arm was looped through mine and she tightened the grip, "I look at the path you've had to walk. I see the trauma and the pain and battles and mistakes and the <em>heartache</em>… You've been through things no human should have to go through—things that would leave others on the floor in a <em>shattered mess</em>, but not you." She beamed at me while she spoke. "My <em>brave</em>, <em>strong</em> girl. No matter how many times this world wrongs you, <em>hurts you</em>, you get back up and you keep walking."</p>
<p>I pulled my hand out of Bucky's jacket pocket to grab her arm and squeeze it, "I almost didn't, Granny. I was <em>so</em> tired. I didn't tell you—I didn't want to make you… Granny, in Russia, <em>I gave up</em>. That last fight, I thought it was the end. I just wanted to fall and lay there forever. If Bucky hadn't been there—"</p>
<p>"You say that but <em>look at you</em>." Granny chuckled. "As tired as you were, as much as you wanted to, you <em>didn't</em> stay down. And yes, maybe it was because Bucky Barnes was there, but there is absolutely <em>nothing </em>wrong with letting someone help you stand back up. We're human. Sometimes, we need that helping hand. It doesn't diminish what you went through." She reached forward with her other hand to cup my face, "Calling out for help, reaching out to someone to help you off the floor, it doesn't make you weak. Asking for help, letting someone in to help you pick up the pieces of what you used to be, is the <em>strongest</em> thing you can do."</p>
<p>I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat at her words, "What if they look at me differently? I don't want to be pitied."</p>
<p>"I think you're confusing pity with love." Granny replied. "You look in their eyes and you expect pity so when the sadness forms you assume that's what it is, but, <em>sweetie</em>, to share that kind of pain with someone… The sadness is there because there is <em>love</em> there."</p>
<p>"But—"</p>
<p>Granny chuckled, "If Tony Stark or Clint Barton or Natasha, Steve, Bruce, Sam—if <em>anyone</em> that lives in that Tower with you came to you, shared their pain, and asked for help… would you pity them?" I shook my head. The logical side of my stupid brain knew that. I knew it. So why was it so hard to wrap my heart around that idea? "Ask for help. I think you'll be surprised with what you find."</p>
<p>I nodded once, a smile brightening my face again, "God, where have you been the last ten years?" Granny scoffed and flicked my ear making me laugh. I had made a lot of dumb mistakes in my life, it was kind of my go-to move, but ignoring Granny had been the biggest, dumbest of them all. "Do you have to leave today?"</p>
<p>"I do. I have obligations back home." Granny replied sadly. "Did you know Mr. Stark offered to buy me an apartment here?"</p>
<p>I wanted her to take that offer. Hell, if she wasn't comfortable with letting Tony pay for it, I'd use my own damn paycheck to do it. However, I knew how Granny felt on the subject of moving.</p>
<p>"Florida and New York aren't all that different. If Florida is America's basement then maybe New York is it's attic?" I joked. Granny rolled her eyes at me. Ages ago, Granny had lived in Florida with the love of her life. They had been high school sweethearts who married the moment they graduated. I had seen pictures of her late husband and her. I wasn't sure of my opinion on soulmates, but that was the only word I could use to describe them. She had lost him to a car accident nearly thirty years ago now. She moved to Alabama shortly after, unable to stay in the home they shared, but I knew her plan was to one day go back. When she finally left Alabama, it'd be to go back to that home they shared. "I'll really miss you."</p>
<p>"Well now that I'm back you won't be getting rid of me that easily." Granny replied with ease. "Phone calls, texts, and visits. I'll be back for Christmas."</p>
<p>I chuckled, "I could also come back down to 'bama to visit you. It'd be kind of fun to drag Tony down there. He might die of shock." Granny didn't laugh at my joke and she also got a hesitant look on her face. I raised an eyebrow at her, "What?"</p>
<p>"As much as I'd love to have you come back, you should know…" Granny sighed, "Aubrey is back."</p>
<p>Suddenly the air around us didn't feel so cold. Not with the way ice filled my veins at that simple statement. It had felt like someone had sucker punched me in the diaphragm leaving me breathless and aching. As someone who had literally been hit like that before, on multiple occasions, I could say that this was somehow worse though. At least the physical version of this faded faster.</p>
<p>"W—What?"</p>
<p>"Aubrey came back to Summerbrooke. She lives there with her children."</p>
<p>My brain felt like it was tumbling inside my skull. Children? As in more than one? I shook my head quickly, "She was pregnant when she left it was—the one. The one kid—"</p>
<p>"His name is Peter." Granny began to pull out her phone, "He's ten now. Nearly eleven. Then she had a set of twins about six years ago. Tyler and Taylor."</p>
<p>She pulled up a picture then turned the phone around for me to see. Aubrey was in the picture, beautiful as ever, though she looked older. Her dirty blonde hair fell well past her shoulders in soft waves. Aubrey's features were soft and kind as always. Of the two of us, Aubrey always looked more like mom. She was gorgeous. On her left was a ten-year-old kid with shaggy brown hair and gray eyes behind a pair of wire rimmed glasses. Then to her left were the twins. Both were adorable with bright grins, blonde hair and wide blue eyes just like their mother.</p>
<p>"When was this picture taken?"</p>
<p>Granny pulled her phone back, "About a week ago."</p>
<p>"How long has she been there?"</p>
<p>She hesitated again, "The twins were born there."</p>
<p>I felt nauseous. Granny began to rub my back gently. Aubrey was just happily living in Summerbrooke, our childhood town, with her children. Summerbrooke hadn't been good enough when she abandoned me, but I guess it was a superb place to raise her children. Suddenly, I was in that room again. The foster room, sitting in the dark, after she left crying my eyes out. I wasn't good enough to stick around for but—</p>
<p>"Aimee Jane." Granny pulled me out of my thoughts. She sighed, "Aubrey was hoping to talk to you. I think a part of it is because…well, the day is coming up." I knew exactly what day Granny was talking about. I never forgot that day, I just let it hide in the back of my head until it arrived and kicked my teeth in. "…but I told her you needed to come to her first."</p>
<p>"Does she know about…?" I questioned.</p>
<p>Granny shook her head, "As far as she knows, she thinks you've graduated medical school and are just working up here."</p>
<p>"Please don't—"</p>
<p>"You know I won't say a thing." Granny shook her head. "I just wanted you to know."</p>
<p>I nodded and Granny pulled me back into her side. Quickly, I set aside this news to digest later. Granny would be leaving later, and I didn't want to ruin today by worrying about anything else.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Thor, Jane, and Darcy had left. Jane and Darcy going back to Nevada where they were currently doing work and Thor back to Asgard or some other space place. This meant I had my apartment back which was nice. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I spent an hour here alone. Granny had gone back to Alabama too. The holidays were technically over now. After the weekend, it'd be back to work as per usual.</p>
<p>I sat on the floor, legs stretched out, staring at a photo sitting by my phone. Before Granny left I asked her to text me the picture she had showed me. She warned me against it, but I pleaded. Now, I just sat in my room letting my eyes bounce between the picture of me and Aubrey as kids and the picture of her with her own kids. I was an Aunt. That was a weird thought. I guess I technically had always been since the oldest kid was born ten years ago, but it was only really registering now. I was an Aunt and she wanted to talk to me. It was probably to make amends. I couldn't think of any other reason for it.</p>
<p>Despite sitting here for the past two hours, just staring and lost in my thoughts, nothing was any clearer to me. I had even cancelled Netflix night with Steve. I felt bad about that, but I just didn't have the energy to try and not show the turbulence in my brain right now. He would just worry. I guess that was kind of what Granny was talking about earlier though.</p>
<p>I didn't hear my elevator open or someone walking to my room, but I could feel eyes staring at me. I glanced up from my floor to see Clint leaning against my doorframe with his arms crossed and a concerned look on his face.</p>
<p>"Hey, kid." He said softly. "You ok?"</p>
<p>"No." I answered honestly, and his eyebrows rose in surprise. I guess he didn't expect me to be up front about it. "How did you know?"</p>
<p>Clint sighed, rubbing the back of his head, "Well, don't be mad, but Tony kind of has this program set up for you." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. He continued, "It's to monitor your vitals. He has one for Steve and Bruce too. Silver Alert and Jolly Green. Lets us know if Steve is having a really bad nightmare or if Bruce is starting to hulk out."</p>
<p>I chuckled, "What's mine called?"</p>
<p>"Setting Sun." Clint smirked, but it wasn't an amused one. There was a beat of silence where I glanced back down at the pictures. Clint cleared his throat, "Anything you wanna talk about? Despite being deaf, I hear I'm a <em>very</em> good listener."</p>
<p>I laughed again, dryly, and shrugged, "I should. Granny says I should. She moved on with her life maybe I just need to suck it up and do it too."</p>
<p>"Rosie?"</p>
<p>"No, Aubrey." I corrected. Clint sucked in a sharp breath then crossed the room to sit beside me. He had on his pajamas, a ratty pair of plaid pants and black t-shirt with a hole at the shoulder and bottom hem. He leaned his back against my bed, like I was, and motioned to the pictures. I nodded once and he took them from me to look them over. "She has kids. Cute kids. Aubrey is living in our hometown again. She wants to talk to me. Bury the hatchet or whatever, I guess."</p>
<p>Clint nodded and clicked my phone to turn the screen dark. He then turned slightly to set both items on my bed and out of view. He rested his arms on his knees, "You don't owe her that. I know she's your sister and you love her, despite everything, but don't make a decision like that based off what you think is an obligation. Aj, <em>you don't owe her shit</em>."</p>
<p>"I know." I replied, and it was true. I did know that, but…what he said was still true. Despite it all, despite the anger and the hurt, I still <em>loved</em> Aubrey. I spent years trying to force myself to hate her, convincing myself I did, but all I had to do was look at her picture once and I knew the truth. Aubrey had abandoned me, carved my heart out with her bare hands and left me bleeding, but I would still take a bullet for her. "She's made a good life for herself and her kids. She moved past her own trauma and created something."</p>
<p>Clint shook his head, "You've made a life for yourself too." He motioned around himself. "<em>This</em> is your life, <em>we</em> are your family, and you've done <em>real</em> good for yourself, kid. <em>Fuck</em> the white picket fence house in lower Alabama. You got a billionaire wrapped around your pinky, a master assassin to paint your nails, a radioactive, green giant who has your back, and a thawed out grandpa to watch Netflix with. Plus, I guess Sam too." I laughed and he grinned. "And better than <em>all</em> that, you have the <em>greatest</em> archer in the <em>entire</em> universe ready to throw hands with anyone who even <em>looks</em> at you wrong."</p>
<p>I shook my head with a small smile, "I appreciate you guys so much, you know that right? Everything you've done for me… I really thought I'd end up in a dirty ditch <em>dead</em> before I hit 30." Clint frowned at that. "I just hate that despite everything you've done I'm still struggling. I hate that I can't just <em>be</em> healed."</p>
<p>"Aj, healing isn't something you can do overnight." Clint said softly. "It takes years and even then sometimes you'll have a day that feels like you stumbled back ninety steps. That's what healing is. It has it's ups and downs, but you <em>keep pushing forward</em> despite that."</p>
<p>Clint reached out and set his hand on the back of my head with a reassuring smile. Healing had ups and downs, but you had to keep moving forward. I had come a long way from the start. I had good days and bad days, but I kept pushing. Now though, I was at a standstill. I had come as far as I could with what I was prepared to deal with. This next part, it would be the hardest part to walk through, but if I didn't climb over this wall then I would have no more path to take. And yeah, maybe I'd get knocked down, but… that's what they were here for, right? To help me get back up?</p>
<p>"<em>It's not weak to ask for help</em>." I mumbled mostly to myself.</p>
<p>Clint, catching what I said with ease, nodded, "Of course, it isn't. Aj, we <em>want</em> you to ask for help. If you need us, just put up that white flag, kid. We'll be there in less than a second."</p>
<p>I lifted my hand to pull his hand away from my head and slowly turned around to put my back to him. If Clint was confused, he didn't voice it. Right now, I had on my sleep shirt and shorts which made this a lot easier since I usually didn't sleep with any sort of bra on. Taking in a shaky breath, I pulled my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them while resting my cheek on my knees to stare at a blank spot on the wall to my left.</p>
<p>"Pull up my shirt, Clint." I said.</p>
<p>Clint's hands didn't shake like mine were. His fingers were warm against my skin as he dragged my shirt up. When the shirt rose high enough his hand froze. The only reaction I could gather from him was a sharp inhale and his fingers tensing around the balled-up portion of my shirt in his hand.</p>
<p>"I remember the reason for each one. That was his point though, I guess. He <em>wanted</em> me to remember." I said in a steady voice. My hands and body might be shaking, but my voice didn't and I took pride in that little victory. "The first one was because I told him to '<em>fuck off'</em>. I had only been working for him around three months at that point. I didn't do that again." I felt his other hand trace the slightly raised scars and I had to press my lips together once before continuing, "The eighth, ninth, and tenth mark were actually the same thing. A testament to my poor decision-making skills. He kept telling me to throw fights, and I <em>always</em> planned to do it to avoid…<em>you know</em>…but once I was in the ring, I <em>couldn't</em> do it. Boss stopped asking though. Figured he could just work it and get more money off me winning if he played his cards right." The only thing I could hear in the room was my own voice and the beating of my heart. "Mark 22, he got drunk and tried to kiss me. I punched him in the face and then he carved that line. Mark 28, <em>hah</em>, shit, I didn't even <em>do</em> anything for mark 28. He just said he didn't like odd numbers and <em>carved</em> it in." The more I talked, the memory of the knife in my skin started to form at the front of my mind and I didn't like that. I didn't like remembering the way his cold blade felt. "The last mark, number 34, was actually right before I met you guys. Remember I fractured my ankle and was out of the ring for a little over three weeks? He was <em>pissed</em> about it, as if it was <em>my</em> fault some newbie <em>jackass</em> curb stomped my ankle… He cut me for missing those fights."</p>
<p>Clint suddenly dropped my shirt and I couldn't feel his hands on me anymore. This was it. This was the part where I needed to turn around and face him. I couldn't take back what I just did, what I just said. I had reached the top of that tall, traumatic wall and now it was time to fall back onto this new path of healing. I just wondered how bad I was going to hit the ground. I'd leave a crater around me this time for sure, maybe shatter into more pieces than I knew possible.</p>
<p>Falling was always the easy part though.</p>
<p>I forced myself to turn around to look at him. Clint didn't meet my eyes. His elbow was resting on my bed, his hand covering his mouth as he clenched his jaw. The archer was as tense as the string of a bow right before the arrow was fired. His gaze was burning, glazed over, as he stared straight ahead. Almost <em>through </em>me.</p>
<p>Hesitantly, I opened my mouth to say his name, but nothing came out so I just dumbly closed it again. Clint took in one more slow, steadying breath. His body didn't move, but his eyes snapped up to meet mine and I watched the rage turn into an aching sadness.</p>
<p>It felt like Boss traced his hands up my spine in that moment, pressed his lips to my ear, while whispering venom in it.</p>
<p><em>Pity. Pity. Look at all that pity. He can see how pathetic you are</em>.</p>
<p>For the first time though, Boss' ugly voice was chased away by the warm one that used to whisper kind words to me when I was a kid. Granny filled my chest with warmth.</p>
<p>
  <em>No. Not pity. Never pity. That's pain. That's love.</em>
</p>
<p>Clint dropped his hand, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he slowly shook his head. Just like Granny's voice whispered, I could see it. He was hurting <em>for</em> me. Clint was shouldering the pain I went through. He was softening the blow of that tragic fall. So instead of hitting the ground at a <em>million</em> miles per hour and shattering into a <em>billion</em> pieces that scattered in the wind, I had a buffer. I still fell. I <em>still</em> hit the ground, and it <em>still </em>hurt like hell. But where I should've been shattered, I was just cracked.</p>
<p>Just cracked.</p>
<p>I lunged forward, into his arms, and Clint didn't hesitate to pull me tight against his chest. He buried one hand into my hair, against my neck, and just let me cry into his shoulder while his other hand pressed firmly against the scars that lined my back. This was something I could recover from. How could I not? I had a helping hand to pull me back up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Give Me a Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: GUESS WHO HAS COVID. So yeah. I guess statistically speaking I could only run around the hospitals and clinics in my area for so long before catching it. Healthcare worker risks, am I right? I'm fine though. I feel shitty, but I'm one of the lucky ones. Minor symptoms (although i did lose my sense of smell this morning and that shit is WILD, -3/10 do not recommend).</p>
<p>Anyways, back to this, here's the update! Again, I'm incorporating Agents of SHIELD but much like the canon of the Marvel movies I'm doing it how i want so be prepared for changes (for example the Avengers know these agents exist smh).</p>
<p>Ok I'm gonna go lie down my head hurts. Next update will probably be BEFORE 5 days. I have nothing else to do right now other than sleep, Netflix, and this. </p>
<p>Not to use the pity vote, but hey leave me some reviews! Much like laughter is the best medicine, reading y'all's thoughts will bring me only comfort. Forreal tho enjoy the chapter i'll shut up now sorry lolol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"Anger will help you survive for a while, but it'll eat you alive." –Unknown</em>
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<p>Clint felt like his entire body was vibrating with barely concealed rage. His self-control was really being put to the test at the moment. He was sitting in his usual seat in the Avengers Conference room. Typically, they only met up here for pre- and post-mission reports, general meetings, and anytime someone from SHIELD or the government needed to talk to them. Clint had called everyone here because he needed to sit down. He needed to sit down, and he knew the others would too. His hands were balled up tightly, his arms crossed over his chest, and he kept his gaze focused across the table on Natasha.</p>
<p>He could read everyone in the room with ease.</p>
<p>Natasha was sitting stock still, there was no emotion on her face that gave her away, but the twitch in her finger, where her hand casually rested on the table, told him that she was boiling with internal fury. An inferno that could, and would, burn down the tower if left unchecked. Bruce sat beside her with his elbows on his table and his face in his hands. There had been the briefest flash of green in his eyes when the news was broken and now the scientist was taking calming breaths. To Clint's left, Steve held his jaw in his hand, one elbow on the table, and kept his eyes closed. His face looked a shade lighter, like the blood had drained from it. Sam was here too, sitting in Thor's usual spot. The man had been in the process of leaving when they got the <em>'Setting Sun'</em> alert, and he decided to stick around to make sure everything was alright. The look on his face though made him feel like the man had partly wished that he hadn't stuck around. Just to spare himself from hearing the news for a moment longer. The regret was mixed with anger. Tony, who sat across from Sam, was always the easiest to read and it was because in moments where his temper was sparked, the man hid nothing from his features.</p>
<p>Tony shoved himself up from the table and stormed to the door. Steve called out, his voice tight, "<em>Tony</em>." He didn't listen, he didn't hesitate, he just shoved the door open and left. Steve clenched his jaw before speaking again, "JARVIS, make sure Pepper knows where he is. He needs her."</p>
<p>"<em>She has already been notified, Captain Rogers</em>."</p>
<p>The room went back to a painful silence. Clint's eyes went out of focus as he thought about the pale, faintly raised lines etched into Aj's skin. Getting injured in a fight sucked. Feeling your skin break open from a hit, the ache of a bruise after a punch, it was terrible. Getting injured <em>purposely</em>, <em>slowly</em>, <em>painfully</em> from a stable, psychotic hand? That was different. There was something horrifying about having someone use a knife to carve into your skin as punishment. Clint knew all too well. He's been in the torture chair before. Staring back at someone who was genuinely enjoying bringing out his blood.</p>
<p>Half of the trauma of being tortured was the psychological aspect of it. Clint knew that Aj could take a hit, that wasn't the point, the thing that really boiled his blood was that this jackass, <em>this piece of shit</em>, <em>scum</em> of the earth, carved into her skin repeatedly and told her she <em>deserved</em> it. That she <em>deserved</em> this form of punishment. That's what made Clint want to bury an arrow in Eugene's eye.</p>
<p>"I felt it yesterday. She was upset, and when I… I <em>knew</em> it had to be scars." Steve let out an angry scoff. His jaw clenched again as he pulled his hand away from his face and stiffened in his seat. Steve shook his head, "But I had no idea it'd be—"</p>
<p>Steve cut himself off with a sharp breath. It was one thing when a superhero or an agent of SHIELD was put through the ringer like this. It was a risk of the profession. They either had experience or training. Regardless, they knew of this potential hazard. Someone like Aj, an innocent woman hurt and desperate to feel something, shouldn't have to undergo something like this. Terrible things happened to good people, Clint knew that, but when he saw it firsthand in someone he cared about it felt like a staggering blow.</p>
<p>"How is she?" Sam asked, he didn't look up from the spot on the table he was staring at.</p>
<p>"Cried for a good fifteen minutes. Then she…" Clint chuckled, "She <em>laughed</em>. Said, '<em>Who would've guessed this talking shit actually works?</em>'." He let his arms fall away from his chest and raised a hand to rub his forehead. "I got her into bed after that. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it amongst all this other <em>shit</em>, her <em>sister</em> wants to talk to her."</p>
<p>A tired groan hung in the air. When it rained, it poured.</p>
<p>"Sam?" Natasha finally spoke. If Clint hadn't known her so long, and so well, he wouldn't have noticed the tension in her voice. She was lightly stroking Bruce's back. He still hadn't moved. "Call it."</p>
<p>Sam hummed in thought, "Steve, did you mention the scars to her last night?"</p>
<p>"No. She was drunk, talking about Bucky." Steve shook his head. "I wasn't even positive if they were scars. Just had a hunch."</p>
<p>Sam nodded once, still looking at the table, "Clint, how'd the conversation start?"</p>
<p>Clint knew what Sam was trying to gauge, "We were talking about her sister. Then she said she needed to ask for help. I had no idea what she was even doing. She just turned around and asked me to lift up her shirt."</p>
<p>"Afterwards, did <em>you</em> ask if you could tell us, or did <em>she</em> ask you to tell us?"</p>
<p>"She asked me to." Clint replied. "Aj said she didn't want to have the initial talk about it multiple times and she also didn't want to talk about it in front of everyone. Figured it'd be easier if I shared."</p>
<p>Sam nodded again and paused to think. He finally looked up from the table and glanced around the room, "This is…good." He let out a sigh. "What she went through is… but the fact that she decided to talk about it, bring it up on her own, is <em>really</em> good. It means she knows that she can't just let these things simmer inside. That she needs to talk about it to heal."</p>
<p>"So how do we respond to it?" Steve questioned. He crossed his arms.</p>
<p>"Don't treat her any differently. Let her know you're there if she wants to talk more about it, but don't overdo it. Aj isn't the kind that likes to be treated like she's fragile." Sam replied with a raise of his eyebrows. Nobody could argue against that. His face scrunched up in worry and the others waited until he spoke again. "As good as it is that she spoke up, this is also <em>very</em> bad."</p>
<p>Steve narrowed his gaze, "What do you mean?"</p>
<p>Sam stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. He walked a few steps away, silent, before turning back around and leaning his hands on the table, "Aj is working down a path. She started with touch and then in her mind this was the next logical step. The next issue, <em>hurdle</em>, she needed to deal with. Most people work through these things gradually. Baby steps."</p>
<p>Bruce slowly lifted his head to look at Sam. In fact, all eyes were on Sam as his words settled in their minds. They knew exactly what he meant, and it was a terrifying thought.</p>
<p>"You're saying…" Steve let out a humorless chuckle, his eyebrows furrowed in pain, "That for Aj, her <em>scars</em> were the <em>easiest</em> thing to deal with next? That if healing was a—a <em>twenty step plan</em> we're only on step <em>two</em> and it's going to get <em>worse</em>?"</p>
<p>Sam nodded sadly, and Clint buried his face into his hands. What does it say if being carved up by some demented asshole was the least of her nightmares?</p>
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<p>The weekend went by in a non-eventful blur, and the Avengers hadn't been overly weird about anything. They were still weird, very much so, but I could tell they were trying very, very hard not to be and I appreciated that. After sharing with Clint, I really had felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. By no means were all my problems solved, that wasn't how that worked, but I felt…okay? Good? I wasn't curled up in a ball sobbing in bed so honestly that was a huge win.</p>
<p>Again, though, everyone had tried to be normal. Each of them took a small moment to discreetly let me know that they were there for me if I wanted to talk, and by time I got that statement for the third time I had to resist chuckling. This was a powerful, arguably <em>dangerous</em>, group of superheroes but they were all acting like mother hens. It was little things. Bruce bringing me a spare cup of tea anytime he made something for himself, Clint and Natasha being more cuddly than usual, and Steve would stare at me with his "<em>worried</em>" eyebrows anytime he thought I wasn't paying attention. I should've felt smothered, but I didn't. Their actions weren't born of pity, but of love, and that meant a lot to me.</p>
<p>Oddly, the only person who hadn't smothered me was Tony, but I figured that was due to his lack of presence. He had taken Pepper somewhere for the weekend, a billionaire vacation I assumed, and I hadn't really seen or spoke to him. Nothing beyond a text he shot me on Saturday morning telling me to call him if I needed him.</p>
<p>When I woke up to get ready for work on Monday, it was well needed. As fun as the holiday was, it would be nice to get back on a schedule. I dressed in skinny style dress pants and a long sleeve button up shirt because I figured I'd be running outside a good bit today. Errands had stacked up the past week. Quickly, I pulled a scarf off a hanger and let it hang around my neck then grabbed Bucky's jacket before rushing out the door.</p>
<p>"J, is Tony awake?"</p>
<p>"<em>He is, Ms. Bradshaw. Sir is currently in his lab</em>."</p>
<p>Ah, it was nice to be back to normal. I chuckled to myself and tried to log into Tony's email on my Pad. I spent six days ignoring the inbox, and I knew for a fact that he had ignored it too, so that probably left me with hundreds of emails to work through this morning. As the elevator reached the penthouse I was still struggling to log into the email.</p>
<p>"What the hell?" I mumbled and stepped out while still trying to get my username and passcode in. It usually gave me full access to anything Tony or SI related. It could be a technological error, but this would be the first one I ever ran into one with a Stark produced item. I tucked the Pad under my arm and moved up to the lab.</p>
<p>The moment I stepped in, I knew something was <em>very</em> wrong. Tony was at his lab table, focused on something, but his shoulders were stiff. His entire form was his '<em>stressed'</em> look, but usually when he was like that he had music blasting loudly all around him. We were alike in that way. Can't think of shitty things if your music was loud enough. Right now though, it was <em>painfully</em> silent in the lab.</p>
<p>I cleared my throat, "Morning, Tony." He hummed back a response, but that was all I got. Had his weekend with Pepper not gone well? She was back in California by now, and I hoped they hadn't fought or anything. Trying to steer us both into clear water, I sucked in a breath and spoke up again, "So, weird thing, I can't access the SI database or even your email this morning. I don't know if I messed something up on my Stark Pad or whatever, but…"</p>
<p>Tony grabbed a rag to wipe something off his hand, but he still didn't turn to me. His voice was tight and nonchalant as he spoke, "That's because you're not an SI employee anymore."</p>
<p>You could've heard a pin drop in that moment. Fuck, if there was a witness in the room with us, they probably could've heard my heart crack. Panic clouded my brain as I tried to assess the situation. What had I done? The gala had gone well, Thanksgiving had gone well. Those were the two big projects I had. I tried to think further back to tasks I was doing before the holiday. No huge mistake stood out in my head though. I was scrambling now though. What had I done? What did I fuck up?</p>
<p>"I—I'm sorry." I swallowed the awful taste in my mouth and tried to keep my voice firm, "I don't know what I did wrong, but—but if you tell me, I swear I can do better, Tony. I promise if you just—"</p>
<p>Tony finally turned around and his eyes were blown wide in surprise. For a moment we just stared at each other. Despite having gone on vacation, he looked tired. He slowly shook his head, "Wait, wait I—Aj, did you think I was <em>firing</em> you?"</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to reply, but I didn't know what to say. Apparently, I read the room very wrong, and that was embarrassing as hell. Plus, it left me in a spot where I didn't know where to go from here. I just shrugged instead, and Tony mumbled a curse under his breath before rubbing at his face in exhaustion.</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>, sunshine, I'm <em>not</em>—" Tony sighed, he was still rubbing the eyebrow above his right eye like he was nursing a headache, "I'm technically not an SI employee anymore either. I gave Pepper full control. Me and you are focusing on Avenger work now."</p>
<p>I blinked in surprise, "Am I still your PA?"</p>
<p>"More like the PA for all of us. A Public Relations Specialist, if you will." Tony finally opened his eyes, but he wasn't meeting my gaze anymore, "Run our PR campaign, clean up our image, schedule interviews, all that bullshit we gotta do."</p>
<p>"I thought…" I tried to find a way to word this right, "I thought you were trying to separate yourself from the Avengers. Go <em>more</em> into SI."</p>
<p>Tony nodded, "Yeah, that <em>had</em> been the plan."</p>
<p>I knew for a fact that Pepper wanted him further away from the superhero line of work. Tony had vented about it to me a few different times over the last two months. It made sense in my head. Pepper loved Tony and having to watch the person you love constantly throw themselves on a live wire had to be the most stressful thing in the world. Tony had been making good strides toward separating himself too. This <em>'U-turn' </em>was odd.</p>
<p>"How does Pepper feel ab—"</p>
<p>"Pepper doesn't like it." Tony interrupted me sharply. "But she gets it. She says she gets it. She drew a line in the sand, said this is where she wants to stand—this is what she can live with, but of course, I have to push it." He let out a cold, angry laugh. "Because that's what I do. I push those boundaries; I take and <em>take</em>—can't even compromise for her sake."</p>
<p>Oh, he was <em>spiraling</em>. I had seen Tony in a bad mood before, but those bad moods were easily cured with a cancelled meeting, an Irish cup of coffee, and listening to him vent. This didn't seem like the kind of bad mood I could fix. I had no idea what to do.</p>
<p>"Tony—"</p>
<p>"But I have to keep fighting." Tony shrugged. He moved around his lab, shifting through the work he had been doing, but now his movements were sharp and sloppy, "How can I step down as Iron Man when the world is still so <em>Goddamn</em> shitty? When there's still <em>fucking</em> <em>evil</em> <em>men</em> doing whatever the <em>fuck</em> they please. Just because they think they <em>have the right</em>." He threw something in his hand across the tabletop and kept looking for whatever he was looking for. "What does it say about me—<em>me</em>, if I <em>throw</em> in the towel when terrible things are still happening?! People are fucking <em>suffering</em> and I'm just flipping them off to sit in some boardroom in a—"</p>
<p>I lunged forward and grabbed his arm. His entire body was still tense, but at least the contact had stopped the flow of his self-depreciating words. I tossed the Pad in my other hand on the table and then moved that hand to join the other on his forearm.</p>
<p>"Tony, you're a <em>good</em> man. The things you've done, the <em>people</em> you've <em>saved</em>, and the things you <em>will</em> do." I shook my head, "Even in a boardroom, you do more for this world than <em>any</em> other person I can think of. Whether you use the suit or your money, you're <em>always</em> helping <em>someone</em>."</p>
<p>Tony's jaw clenched and unclenched as he kept his gaze focused on something in front of him. I squeezed his arm once, and he finally looked over to me. He scoffed, "Why the <em>hell</em> aren't you angry? Aj, you <em>should</em> be angry. You <em>deserve</em> to be angry." I narrowed my eyes in confusion. Why would I be angry about— "What he did to you? The <em>shit</em> he put you through, you—"</p>
<p>It clicked in my brain then. Tony had stopped his own words, to silently fume, and I pressed my lips together. This was about the scars. This was about Boss. I should've guessed, but I thought he had moved onto the same page as the others.</p>
<p>"I am angry. Realistically, I'm always angry about something." I said quietly. "I hate him, Tony. The kind of hate that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and a gaping hole in your chest. I <em>hate</em> him. I <em>hate</em> what he did to me. I <em>hate</em>—" I forced myself to stop and circle back to my point, "But I'm also <em>tired</em>. I'm <em>tired</em> of giving <em>him</em> any piece of my mind. I don't want that. I don't want him to take up another thought of mine. I want him to fade into obscurity and if that means I have to keep calm and not lash out then… it's worth it."</p>
<p>Tony's gaze softened. I gave him a small smile and shrug. He let out a sigh and suddenly pulled me into his arms. With a chuckle, I wrapped my arms around him as he just tightened his own. His body felt like it was finally beginning to relax. He let out a snort, "Since when were you emotionally stable?"</p>
<p>"I only look emotionally stable right now because you're comparing me to yourself." I replied. Tony scoffed at that and I pinched his side. He flinched and pulled back. Tony's features didn't look so wild anymore. He was settling. I smirked, "You good?"</p>
<p>"Well if you of all people are handling this like a mentally well person than I guess that means I have to try too." He rolled his eyes. Tony paused before setting his hand on my shoulder with a tight grip, "I'm sure you've spent a weekend hearing this, but I'm the genius so it means <em>more</em> from me—" I laughed, and he continued, "I don't care what that fucking shithead said to you. You don't deserve a <em>single</em> one of those marks. Not a <em>damned</em> one, you hear me?"</p>
<p>I had spent a weekend hearing this from the others. It was part of their '<em>I'm here for you'</em> spiel. Maybe it was just the sheer number of times I was hearing it, or maybe it was because it was coming from Tony, but his words left me warm. I gave him a tight nod, "Thanks, Tony. You really are a good person. You know that, right? You're too good for this stupid world."</p>
<p>Then, finally, in his typical Tony way, he replied, "I'm aware of my greatness, thanks."</p>
<p>"Ok then, Mr. <em>Greatness</em>, let's circle back to this job thing." I pointed at him, "<em>Why</em> do you keep giving me jobs I have <em>no</em> training or experience for?"</p>
<p>"You were a good PA for me, just add like five more people to it."</p>
<p>"That's <em>not</em> how that works. This is a different beast altogether. I <em>just</em> got good at being a normal company PA!"</p>
<p>Tony shrugged, "You'll pick it up quick, I'm sure."</p>
<p>"I am 95% positive people go to college for <em>four years</em> to get a degree in public relations. I don't even have my <em>own</em> social media for <em>my</em> public relation to the world, how am I supposed to control all y'all's public relations? Am I even using that phrase correctly?"</p>
<p>"<em>All y'all's</em>." Tony snickered, mocking my words. I rolled my eyes and he grinned, "Hey, let's go drinking."</p>
<p>"Tony, it's <em>8 AM</em> on a <em>Monday</em>."</p>
<p>"We just went through <em>emotional turmoil</em>, we deserve a drink."</p>
<p>"That's not how—"</p>
<p>"Say yes or I'll fire you from this new job too."</p>
<p>"Fine, but we're going to <em>my</em> old drinking hole."</p>
<p>"I said I want a drink not bacteria infested swill."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha was still in a shitty mood and being benched for a mission was not helping her in any way, shape, or form. Coulson was claiming he still had a handle on the inhuman issues arising, and she believed and trusted him, but <em>God</em> did she want to get in the field and beat the shit out of someone. Clint was in the same boat as her. Steve could go down to the gym and take his anger and frustration out of a sandbag, but she wasn't the kind to be settled by that. A part of her was tempted to sneak into the prison Eugene was being held at and deal with this herself. Rotten assholes like him died in jail all the time. What's one more death?</p>
<p>"This is a huge job with a lot of responsibility." Aj groaned while she read her Stark Pad. Her head was resting on Natasha's lap and the redhead was lightly running her fingers through the woman's hair while simultaneously going through various methods of committing homicide in a federal prison. She was a multi-tasker. "I think I might need to hire someone to help me. Is it weird for a PA to hire a PA?"</p>
<p>"Not at all." Natasha hummed. "You're representing a large, <em>and growing</em>, team. It would only make sense that you need a team yourself."</p>
<p>Aj lowered her Pad to hold it against her chest, "I could hire someone who actually has a Public Relations degree or whatever."</p>
<p>"That's a good idea but remember that <em>you're</em> in charge." Natasha replied. "We trust <em>you</em> with our image, not someone else. You get final say."</p>
<p>Aj mulled that over in her head and Natasha had a feeling she was going to have to remind her of this again in the future. She trusted Aj's judgement regardless of her having a degree or not. Aj mumbled something under her breath and went back to working on her Pad. Natasha could see her sending a text to Pepper.</p>
<p>Natasha could always pay off someone in prison to off the jackass, but she wanted to do it herself so that idea wasn't ideal. Most of her homicidal tendencies had been curbed over the year, but it was shit like this that really got under her skin. If anyone deserved the wrath of a Black Widow, it was those who thought they could hurt her family and get away with it. Granted, these marks had occurred before Natasha had even met Aj, but the anger was still there so the concept applied.</p>
<p>"Do you think I'll get a decent number of applications if I post this as a job listing?"</p>
<p>She chuckled, "I think you'll be fine. Just remember, they need to be run through the SHIELD database and background check, and I'd rather you do that <em>before</em> you meet them in person." She paused then added. "And one of us should be there with you to meet them."</p>
<p>"Sounds good to me." Aj mumbled back in response while typing another message to Pepper for business advice.</p>
<p>Another ten minutes passed before Clint came rushing into the room out of the elevator. Natasha had been watching her phone for an update, but the look on his face was update enough.</p>
<p>"Hey, sorry to interrupt." Clint said, keeping his voice light, "Tasha, I need you."</p>
<p>She carefully lifted Aj's head to stand up, but before she could put it down on the cushion she sat up herself. Aj glanced at the both of them, "Is everything ok?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, just a small mission." Clint shrugged with a boyish smirk.</p>
<p>Aj nodded once, "Oh, well be careful, ok?"</p>
<p>They both reassured her and were quickly on the move. Clint informed her that their gear was already on the quinjet, so they went straight there rather than to the locker room. Natasha began to change while Clint got the quinjet in the air.</p>
<p>"Catch me up to speed."</p>
<p>"Gonzales is dead." Clint came back from the front after putting the ship onto auto-pilot. He began to change into his own gear. "The inhuman leader, Jiaying killed him to incite a war between SHIELD and the inhumans according to Skye." Clint stripped out of his shirt. "Now Jiaying and her little band of assholes have taken over the Iliad." The Iliad was one of the largest helicarriers SHIELD still had in play. "From what they've gathered, the basic gist of her plan is put the world through terrigenesis. Kills all humans, leaves the inhumans behind."</p>
<p>Natasha finished zipping up her suit, "We should've been part of this from the beginning."</p>
<p>"You're not wrong." Clint agreed. "We're on path to meet up with Coulson's quinjet before heading straight to the Iliad. There are still agents aboard who need evac. That's what we're on."</p>
<p>Natasha paused in her movements, "We're on <em>evac</em>?"</p>
<p>"Coulson was specific. He said alpha team is prepped for the lead." Clint nodded. "We're on stand-by if they need help, but our priority is evac."</p>
<p>"Should we have brought along the others?"</p>
<p>"Trying to move in on this as the full Avengers would've been messy, I think." Clint pulled out his phone and began to look over a message. He glanced up at her, "If for a second we think this is going south though, I'm telling the others to go to the bunker. Message is ready to send."</p>
<p>Natasha nodded and began to look over the case files they already had on what was going on. Between them and Coulson's team, they should be able to handle this. Her eyes darted over Coulson's last message to Clint and realized a few names were missing from the list. She glanced up, "Where are Hunter and Bobbi? I thought Coulson had pulled them in on this."</p>
<p>"They were on mission with May. Going after Ward." Clint sighed.</p>
<p>Natasha narrowed her eyes at him, "<em>Fucking Ward</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I don't know why we haven't <em>ganked</em> that bastard yet." He rubbed the side of his face. Natasha could see the concern in his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him. He sighed, "Bobbi got hit bad. Ward fucking tortured her and then she took a bullet for Hunter."</p>
<p>"Her condition?" Natasha questioned. She had worked with Bobbi before. She hadn't worked with Hunter, but she'd heard of him from Clint. More than that, she knew he considered both good friends.</p>
<p>"Not good." Clint replied. "They got her stable-ish. Last I heard she's on her way to the Tower. Dr. Cho is on route." Natasha nodded and Clint dropped down on the seat beside her. It was silent a moment before Clint crossed his arms and glanced over at her, "At least we get to punch people now."</p>
<p>Natasha's lips quirked up slightly. Yes, at least there was that.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>After posting the job listing, with Pepper's help, I had gotten 97 applications within the first 15 minutes. It was getting to the point where my Stark Pad was dinging with a new application every other moment. So, like a responsible adult, I turned my Pad off and decided to dig through them tomorrow. I still needed to spend tonight trying to figure out exactly what it was I was looking for in this position.</p>
<p>Steve and I were sitting on the penthouse couch quietly. He was sketching in his notebook and I was scrolling through my phone glancing up at the news playing on the TV every once in a while. I had turned it on earlier to see if I could see and guess what disaster Clint and Natasha were working on, but I didn't figure it out. If the issue was big enough to be on the news then I suppose the rest of the Avengers would've been called up too.</p>
<p>I had, however, seen a news clip on some red and blue decorated superhero swinging on some sort of web around the city. The news was referring to him as '<em>Spider-Man'</em> and I guessed that moniker wasn't too far off. The guy could've been stuck with something worse. Lord knows, his costume was bad enough. Fighting crime in a hoodie just didn't seem like a good idea, and that was coming from me.</p>
<p>Needless to say, I thought seeing a wall crawling, bus catching, new-to-the-scene hero was going to be the weirdest thing I saw tonight, but then a quinjet landed on the deck and a small group of strangers rushed into the penthouse with a bleeding woman on a gurney.</p>
<p>Steve and I both jumped up in alarm at the same time that Bruce ran down the stairs. A woman at the head of the gurney, with short brown hair, called out in a British accent, "Bullet wound to the back, exit wound through the chest. I had to intubate her mid-flight."</p>
<p>"Come back to the lab, it's prepped and Dr. Cho is nearly here to assist." Bruce barked back and led them past the stairs to a different elevator that would lead up into the medical lab which was on the same level as the Avengers conference room.</p>
<p>My eyes landed on a guy who was staring down at the bloody woman with pain in his eyes. He gripped her hand tightly even though she was unconscious and couldn't hold it back. I was stuck in a state of shock, but Steve snapped into '<em>Captain America'</em> mode immediately. He hurried forward and grabbed the attention of one of the agents pushing the gurney to debrief him. They disappeared into the elevator, large enough to fit a gurney, and I was still stuck in place.</p>
<p>I knew they were the Avengers. I knew I lived in Avengers Tower. This was the first time I was seeing it firsthand though. The realization was settling on me. I finally snapped out of it and jogged up the stairs. Tony had shown me the medical lab and the Avengers Conference room when he gave me the tour, but I hadn't been back to either room since. The lab was a flurry of busy bodies. The woman who had called out to Bruce was working desperately on the woman.</p>
<p>Steve was in the room, standing behind the man who had been holding the woman's hand, and he had a hand over the man's chest. Holding him back while Simmons and Bruce worked. The agent Steve had been talking to had disappeared.</p>
<p>There was a crisis to deal with, and I felt <em>useless</em>.</p>
<p>It took nearly an hour for Simmons and an Asian woman named Dr. Cho to stabilize Bobbi Morse. Bobbi being the woman lying on the medical bed fighting for her life. I knew about the gunshot, it had been announced, but her injuries went beyond that. Steve hadn't gone into details with me when he checked on me, but now I knew that she had been tortured. <em>Tortured</em>. God.</p>
<p>I tried to focus my eyes back on the words in front of me. I was going through applications at the moment. Despite planning on not touching them until tomorrow, I didn't know what else I could do. I wanted to help, but I didn't want to be in the way, and I wasn't even sure how much I was allowed to know about this stuff. So instead, I just sat at the dining room table reading the same line on the same application over and over and over again.</p>
<p>"You're Aj, right?"</p>
<p>I glanced up to see the woman from earlier. She looked tired, her hazel eyes filled with a worry and sadness, and the hand she used to run through her short, wavy brown hair shook with a tremor. Her name was Simmons and I assumed that was her last name.</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah." I sat up a little. "Simmons?"</p>
<p>"Jemma Simmons." She nodded, forcing a small smile. She motioned to the chair beside me and I quickly nodded. Simmons straightened her dress shirt and sat down, her hands wringing in her laps, "Coulson mentioned you a few times before."</p>
<p>I chuckled, "I didn't realize I left that much of an impression." Though she was here with me physically, I could see that her mind was miles away. "I heard your friend is…stable."</p>
<p>"She is. <em>Thank God</em>." Simmons let out a relieved sigh. "She still needs surgery on her knee and a <em>lot</em> of rest and rehab, but she'll be ok. I'm glad I had Dr. Cho and Dr. Banner there."</p>
<p>I bobbed my head, thankful for their sake, "Was she… I know Clint and Nat left for a mission. Is that what she was doing?"</p>
<p>"Oh, no." Simmons shook her head, "No, no. They're with Coulson and Skye right now trying to stop, well… Trying to stop an inhuman from slaughtering every human on Earth."</p>
<p>I blinked in shock and an awkward beat of silence settled between us. This was real. This was my reality now. My adopted family routinely went out and saved the world. I took in a shaky breath and glanced back at Simmons. She was still a jittery mess. Bobbi Morse was officially stable and going to live, but her hands were still wringing against one another and the worry in her eyes hadn't changed at all.</p>
<p>"You're nervous for them. Is it a really bad mission?" I asked, my own nerves starting to fray.</p>
<p>Simmons' eyes widened slightly and then she forced a smile, "I have faith in the team. I always do. That doesn't ever stop my worries, of course, but… Someone I care about is on the mission and I always worry more when he's in the field." She took noticed of her words and shook her head, "Not that I don't care about them all. They're <em>all</em> my family I just—"</p>
<p>"You love him?" I chuckled. Simmons blushed a bright pink and averted her gaze. In an attempt to smooth the air between us, I leaned forward, "I'm sure he'll be fine. Clint and Nat are indestructible. Coulson came back from the dead once, or something like that—I only got the spark notes version, but… I'm sure the rest of your team is just as amazing. They'll bring him back."</p>
<p>"Thank you." Simmons replied softly. I was a stranger to her but reassurances were comforting regardless of who they were from.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Clint held the door open and motioned for the last remaining crew members he found to hurry through it. Coulson, Mac, and Fitz were taking care of an inhuman in the vent room who was trying to break the lethal terrigenesis crystals. Through the comms it sounded like they were not having fun with it, but they sounded not dead. Natasha was with May last he checked.</p>
<p>Once the last crew member was in a safe zone, he hurried down the hall looking for a familiar face. The sound of a familiar voice is what caused him to screech to a stop and sprint in the opposite direction though. He arrived in the room just in time to see the back of a woman running out the other door. Skye stood in the middle and glanced back at him.</p>
<p>"<em>Clint</em>?"</p>
<p>"Hey, kid." Clint replied and raised his bow when he saw an unfamiliar and unfriendly face step into the room where the other woman had run off. Her hair was a pale red and her grin looked way too excited for this.</p>
<p>"<em>Don't shoot</em>." Skye threw her hand up to him, "She's not bad, she's just being misled by my mom."</p>
<p>Clint lowered his bow. It was two versus one anyways. They had the advantage. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, she watched as the redhead's body shimmered and copies of herself stepped away from. Now it was two versus six.</p>
<p>"Aw, man." Clint groaned. He snapped his bow out turning it into a staff. The redheads lunged at them and the fight began. He ducked under the punch of one and swiped her legs out from under her with the staff. Skye was handling herself well, and if he had a moment to spare he'd use it being proud of how far she's come. The little hacker was a full-fledged agent these days. He dodged a swiping arm, threw an elbow in her face, and then flipped her over only to get tackled by another copy.</p>
<p>Clint hit the ground and before he could shake off the first copy another was on top of him. For fuck's sake, wasn't he just telling Aj not to get taken to the ground during a fight against multiple assailants? He heard Skye cry out and threw off one of the copies. The air filled with the crackle of lighting and briefly he wondered if Thor had just dropped out of the sky to watch him get his ass kicked by the human version of a photo copier.</p>
<p>The copies on top of him were blown off and when he rolled up his eyes landed on May first. She raised an eyebrow at him, "Why is it anytime we run into each other, you're getting your ass handed to you?"</p>
<p>"It's my charm." Clint shrugged, his eyes drifted over to a random inhuman with lighting bouncing off his hands, "Who the fuck are you?"</p>
<p>"Lincoln." Skye breathed from beside him.</p>
<p>"Oh." Clint replied. "May, where's Tasha?"</p>
<p>"With Coulson." May said before turning to Skye, "Where is Jiaying?"</p>
<p>Skye glanced over her shoulder, "Outside. She's moving crystals into a quinjet." Lincoln passed Clint and grabbed Skye's arms. Clint glanced over in concern, but it looked like he was just shocking the metal rings off her arms. They must have been blocking her powers. "Hurry. There will be more red heads here soon. I'll go after my mom."</p>
<p>May stepped forward, "Skye, I'll do it. I've done it before."</p>
<p>"No." Skye said sharply. The binding that was holding back her powers fell to the floor. Clint clenched his jaw. The first person you kill on a mission was always the hardest. It didn't matter how evil the person was. It was still hard. And this was Skye's <em>mom</em>. A psycho inhuman that needed to be stopped, but still…</p>
<p>"I won't hesitate." Skye nodded. May nodded and the young woman turned and ran out of the room. Clint turned and watched five more redheads walk out from the other doorway. Clint rolled his shoulders. He had said he wanted to punch someone.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Talking to Simmons was keeping me sane. It also cleared up a lot of confusion. Thanks to her, I learned that inhumans were descendants of aliens, because in my new life that was a sane sentence to say, and that through a process called <em>terrigenesis</em> the alien gene in them could become active and give the descendant a unique ability. Simmons didn't use the word '<em>superpower'</em>, but I very much did. Apparently, the leader of this band of inhumans was really mad at normal humans, honestly it was understandable humans really suck sometimes, but she had taken it a step further and planned on annihilating all '<em>non alien descendant'</em> humans. SHIELD wasn't happy about that plan so now they were trying to stop her. Simmons didn't go into detail on why or who tortured Bobbi Morse, but that seemed like the kind of story that was told over multiple stiff drinks.</p>
<p>"Y'all go through some shit, huh?" I scoffed.</p>
<p>Simmons grinned with a nod, "Quite the understatement."</p>
<p>She was in the middle of telling me more about the members of her team when her words trailed off and her gaze drifted past me. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to watch a quinjet land on the deck. Simmons jumped up and ran out to the deck. I slowly stood up and watched as a group hurried off the jet. I noticed the bright red flash of Natasha's hair, she was leading the group in, and the next thing I noticed was that Coulson was being dragged in with a bleeding stump where his hand should be.</p>
<p>"<em>Bruce</em>!" I called out, knowing he was in the kitchen.</p>
<p>Bruce poked his head out in concern just as the group swept into the room. Natasha spoke loudly, "Coulson's lost a lot of blood."</p>
<p>"He lost a <em>lot</em> more than just blood." I mumbled to myself. They passed me, Simmons following closely, and I knew they were all going straight to the medical lab. I turned at the sound of the deck doors opening again, and this time Clint walked in with two unfamiliar faces.</p>
<p>"I need to be back at the Playground. Lincoln and my dad were taken there." A dark-haired woman said firmly. She had on a black leather jacket over an equally black outfit. Her face was battered, but I couldn't see how bad the injuries were under the dried blood. If I was following Simmons' descriptions right, this must have been Skye. "Clint—"</p>
<p>"You need to be looked over, Skye." Clint replied firmly. "You hit your head pretty hard."</p>
<p>"It <em>doesn't</em> matter—"</p>
<p>"Oh right, of course, <em>doesn't matter</em>! It could just be a <em>concussion</em>!" The other guy cried in a Scottish accent. This guy, who was definitely Fitz because Simmons spared no details about him, was fussing over Skye. His dirty blonde hair was cut short and though he didn't look hurt, he was covered in a layer of grime and sweat.</p>
<p>"I'm <em>fine</em>." Skye said firmly.</p>
<p>Clint stopped and spun around to face Skye. I began to cross the room to greet them while Clint slipped into full on '<em>dad'</em> mode, "While Coulson is out cold, I'm responsible for his people. You are <em>not</em> leaving this Tower until you've had a <em>full</em> checkup."</p>
<p>Skye pressed her lips together in defiance, but Clint turned back around to look at me. His left eye was bruising, his lip was busted, and it looked like the entire right side of his jawline was going to bruise as well.</p>
<p>"Hey, kid." He nodded, then motioned to the others, "This is Fitz and Skye. Guys, this is Aj."</p>
<p>"Nice to, uh, meet y'all." I greeted awkwardly. "What the hell happened out there? Simmons caught me up to speed, I don't know if I was supposed to know any of that information, but—I mean, <em>Coulson</em>! What happened to Coulson?"</p>
<p>Clint waved me off, "Mac cut his hand off with an axe."</p>
<p>I blinked at him in shock. Leave it to Clint to give me an answer that left me more confused than I had started. There was a beat of silence where I tried to piece together the answers I did have. Before I could ask more, Skye spoke up, "I'm taking the quinjet and going back to the Playground."</p>
<p>I assume when she said '<em>The Playground'</em> it wasn't a literal place with swings and slides.</p>
<p>"I already told you, Skye." Clint huffed. "You're getting looked at first."</p>
<p>I raised my hand slightly to interrupt their soon to be full blown argument, "I think I can help with that." Eyes snapped to me in surprise, and I shrugged. "Dr. Cho is focused on Bobbi, Simmons is probably working on Coulson with Bruce being her assist." I motioned to Skye, "Concussions, bruises, and cuts are kind of my forte. Wouldn't have survived if I didn't know how to deal with those."</p>
<p>Skye looked to Clint. He groaned, but finally consented with a nod. She turned back to me with a tight smile, "Thank you."</p>
<p>Skye followed me up the stairs and I noticed her become more jittery as we got to the lab. Her eyes were blown wide with worry when she spotted Coulson through the glass wall lying on a bed with Simmons setting up an IV while Bruce looked him over. Her eyes dragged over to where Bobbi was laying. Dr. Cho was standing by her bed reading something on her Stark Pad. Next to the bed, the same guy still sat beside her. His hand in hers.</p>
<p>Off to the side, Natasha and the other two people who dragged Coulson in were talking to Steve. One was a tall, broad black man who still had an axe strapped to his back. I guess that was Mac. The other was an Asian woman with a resting bitch face that was even scarier than Natasha's. Maybe that was just because I knew Natasha better now.</p>
<p>Eyes glanced our way as we stepped in, but I motioned for Skye to take a seat on the edge of the bed on the other side of the room from Coulson and Bobbi. I grabbed the first aid kit under a sink in the corner, a bottle of water from the mini fridge, and a couple granola bars before heading back to her.</p>
<p>"Here." I said and handed her the food and water.</p>
<p>She mumbled a thanks and I popped open the kit and started to work. Her injuries really weren't too bad. It just looked bad because it bled a lot, but that's what head wounds were known for. Annoying as shit, they were. I cleaned up the blood from her skin and then cleaned the wounds themselves. None would need stitches based on the size and depth.</p>
<p>"Coulson mentioned you a few times. He wanted to introduce us, but some…<em>things</em> came up." Skye said after finishing with the first granola bar. Her features were still tired and melancholy. It was the kind of look someone wore after going through a shit day.</p>
<p>I nodded and gave her a small smile, "Hey better late than never, right? I'm just sorry it's happening like this." Skye chuckled and I went back to working on the gash she had at the edge of her eyebrow. "Can you tell me what happened to Coulson? I don't know him well, but he seemed like a good guy. I don't see why anyone would chop his hand off for kicks."</p>
<p>Skye chuckled, "How much do you now about what happened?"</p>
<p>"An inhuman wanted to break crystals and kill all non-inhuman humans?"</p>
<p>"That's a good summary of it." Skye chuckled sadly. "The crystals were lethal to anyone without the inhuman gene. If they were broken and you inhaled the mist or if you touched it, you would go through terrigenesis. Coulson caught a crystal to save them, but he started to turn to stone."</p>
<p>With everything that was happening today, you'd think news like this wouldn't faze me, but <em>oof</em>. Turning to stone? I let out a sigh, "Turning to stone, huh? So only inhumans avoid that nasty side effect?"</p>
<p>"Inhumans turn to stone too, but it's more of a…<em>cocoon</em>. They emerge as something new. Without the gene though, you just turn to <em>dust</em>."</p>
<p>There was no penlight in the first aid kit, so I just pulled out my phone and turned on the flashlight feature. Skye looked straight ahead as I passed the light over her eyes. Usually, I was doing this test on myself which was a lot harder. Both her pupils reacted how they should to the light. If she did have a concussion it was a minor one.</p>
<p>"Here." I pulled out a few pain pills for her to take. She didn't hesitate in throwing them back and washing it down with water. "Any other sore spots?"</p>
<p>"My entire body is sore." Skye replied dryly.</p>
<p>I noticed her flexing her hands open and close, and motioned if I could look at them. She nodded and held them out. Just like I did with my own hands after a night of fighting, I took her hands and felt for fractures. I started with the left first and used my fingers to try and feel each bone and joint. She flinched when I pressed along her palm and a spot on her wrist. I did the same to her right and she had two more tender spots in odd locations. With the way she moved and flinched, I had assumed she had some hand fractures, but they weren't in the usual spot.</p>
<p>"I'm no doctor so take this with a grain of salt", I said, "But you might have a few fractures in your hands."</p>
<p>Skye nodded, "Oh, I know I do. Curse of my gift." I tilted my head in confusion and she raised her eyebrows in surprise before continuing, "Oh, sorry, most people just know—um, my ability is vibration manipulation. I basically make things shake. Downside is, if I overdo it, my bones take the brunt of it." She lifted her hands a little. "Usually, I have these fancy gloves that absorb the shock, but I didn't have them on me when…"</p>
<p>Her voice trailed off, and I could see in her eyes that she was slipping into a memory. Probably of what she had just gone through. I cleared my throat and quickly changed the subject, "That's a kickass superpower though."</p>
<p>"Thanks." Skye chuckled, coming back to reality. "From what I hear, yours is probably pretty cool too."</p>
<p>I let out a small laugh and then actually realized what she said. From what she heard, <em>mine was pretty cool too?</em> Who was she hearing this from and what the fuck were they actually talking about? Skye noticed my distress and raised a confused eyebrow, but I never got the chance to ask her what she meant by her words because the lab doors swung open loudly.</p>
<p>Everyone in the room, minus the doctors working, turned to see who it was. Tony, who I was just remembering had been out of the Tower all day today with Rhodey, stood in the doorway, still wearing the band shirt and jeans he had worn to the bar with me this morning, and just glanced around in pure confusion.</p>
<p>"What the <em>fuck</em> is going on?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. What's In a Name?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Update sooner than 5 days b/c i wanted this chapter and the last to be close together (they were technically supposed to be the same chapter, but the themes didn't quite fit in my favor). Comments/Reviews mean the world to me so if you have I love you and if you haven't I will pledge to you my first born child if you do lolol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>                                                 </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>                                                          </p>
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<p>
  <em>"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." –George Macdonald</em>
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<p>Steve hated not being in the loop. It was one of the worst parts of being associated with a secret agency like SHIELD. Natasha and Clint had gotten a lot better about being open with missions and what was going on, especially after the HYDRA inside SHIELD incident, but there were still lapses. Like today. Today was a <em>giant </em>lapse.</p>
<p>"The world was going to be <em>decimated</em> by a magic, <em>alien mist</em> and you guys just thought, <em>'hey we'll just let them know about this over family night dinner'</em>." Tony scoffed. He was sitting in his usual seat in the Conference room. He didn't look up as he spoke, continuing to sketch out a blueprint, "Or were you just gonna add it to the <em>monthly newsletter</em>?"</p>
<p>"Coulson and his team had been the lead of this issue from the start. We only got pulled in today, and we made the call that we could handle it." Clint shrugged.</p>
<p>Tony glanced up and pointed to the blueprint paper where he was designing a bionic hand, "This was <em>before</em> Coulson got his hand chopped off, right?"</p>
<p>"That would've happened whether you were there or not." A deep voice argued. Steve glanced over to where a man named Mac was standing with his arms crossed. His axe was still strapped to his back, and he had a stern look on his features. "Coulson grabbed the crystal—"</p>
<p>Steve held his hand up, "The point is we should've known."</p>
<p>"If you had known, you would've come." Natasha argued. "There's having back-up and there's having too many people on one mission. This was the latter."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "And that's a decision we could've made together. As a <em>team</em>."</p>
<p>Dr. Cho opened up the door to the conference room and stepped in. She glanced around, taking in the awkward tension in the air, and shook her head, "I just wanted to update all of you on the status of our patients."</p>
<p>"Are they still stable?" Bruce questioned.</p>
<p>"They are. I'd like to keep Bobbi Morse here over night before she's transferred to a hospital for her knee surgery, and Coulson is doing well. The shock of losing a limb and blood loss were the only reasons he loss consciousness."</p>
<p>Agent May raised an eyebrow at her, "Pretty good reasons."</p>
<p>"He should wake up at any moment." Dr. Cho added.</p>
<p>Steve nodded in thanks and the Korean woman stepped out again. He let his eyes trace over the room. Tony was back to being solely focused on the sketch in front of him. His hand dancing across the blueprint paper with the same confidence and precision as his own hand when he sketched in his notebook. Bruce stood a little behind Tony, with his arms crossed, and he waited for Tony to ask him questions so he could weigh in on the prosthetic they were designing for Coulson. Mac and May both stood over by Clint and Natasha. They had all been in this room for the last twenty minutes arguing in circles.</p>
<p>"Alright." Steve let out a sigh. "Moving past the fact that we should've been in the loop, where are we when it comes to HYDRA? Coulson mentioned he was working on that as well."</p>
<p>May nodded, "We got a map of HYDRA bases from when we raided List's hide out. They aren't very descriptive though. We won't know which one belongs to Von Strucker unless we go and knock on their doors."</p>
<p>"I'd be more than happy to go on a tour of the HYDRA bases. I hear Europe is nice this time of year." Clint smirked.</p>
<p>Natasha gave him a look before dragging her eyes back to May, "Any hint on what we're going to find on this…<em>tour</em>?"</p>
<p>Mac and May gave each other a knowing look. Again though, May was the one who finally spoke up, "Von Strucker is still trying to crack the super soldier serum." Steve tensed at this statement. These days it felt like it always circled back to that. "But with List's help, he's now stretched his hobbies to include creating inhumans."</p>
<p>"<em>Creating</em> inhumans?" Bruce narrowed his eyes. "He's putting descendants through terrigenesis?"</p>
<p>Mac shook his head, "From what we found, it looks like he's taking normal humans and just enhancing them. Somehow. Skye's been working on hacking into the files we picked up, but then we all got a little sidetracked."</p>
<p>"By the mission we weren't allowed to know about, right?" Tony glanced up. It seemed he only had the time to glance up and add to the conversation if he had a dig to dish out. Steve actually found himself alright with that right now.</p>
<p>He glanced over the hallway to see Aj was still with Skye in the medical lab. Fitzsimmons had disappeared for the moment, but he was sure they were still around. With everything happening today, no one had really gotten the chance to make sure she was still doing alright. Between showing her scars to Clint and then the mission's results showing up on their front door, it was quite the adjustment. Besides, this was the first time Aj was seeing them as not just her friends, but the actual Avengers.</p>
<p>Steve shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. At least now, they had a lead. The lead was going to keep them busy as hell for the next few months, but at least now they had a direction to move in. Steve didn't care if the map they found had a hundred bases scattered on it. He'd personally go to every single one if it meant stopping Von Strucker.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>I had one arm crossed over my chest with the other elbow resting on it so I could use that hand to cover my mouth. It was the classic, <em>'oh shit, what the fuck has my life spiraled into?</em>' pose. Skye, on the other hand, stared back at me in a <em>kind 'oh shit, what the fuck did I just say?</em>' way.</p>
<p>We were both struggling here.</p>
<p>"They think…I'm <em>inhuman</em>?" I asked again, for the ninth time.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna be honest, I didn't know it was a secret." Skye shook her head with a frown, "<em>Shit</em>, I'm sorry. I thought…It's not something to be ashamed of. It's <em>shocking</em>, I know, but—"</p>
<p>I pulled my hand away from my face to wave her words off, "Right now, I'm not even really registering the inhuman part. I'm kind of just…" My lips twisted together in disappointment. "They didn't tell me any of this."</p>
<p>"I really am sorry. I wasn't trying to cause any trouble." Skye pushed herself up off the medical bed. I could tell she really was bummed that she spilt the beans, but this wasn't her fault. She didn't know that the Avengers were hiding a sort of huge, giant secret from me. She set her hand on my shoulder, "I have to go back to the Playground now, but after I deal with the rest of that I'd be more than happy to talk to you about being an inhuman."</p>
<p>"Are you leaving now?" I asked and she nodded. Without hesitation, I added, "Can I come?" Skye's eyes widened and I continued, "I mean, if I'm allowed to. I know it's a super, secret base or whatever."</p>
<p>Skye chuckled with a sad smile, "You're allowed to live in the Tower with the Avengers. I think that means you have clearance. Are you sure?"</p>
<p>"Yeah." I grinned. "I could use a little air."</p>
<p>She shrugged and motioned for me to follow her. We walked out of the medical lab and I paused to look into the conference room where they were still arguing about the mission details. He must have felt me staring because Steve tore his eyes away from Bruce who was talking to catch my gaze. His eyes widened slightly in surprise then he tilted his head in question, his eyebrows scrunching together in concern. I forced a smile and gave him a quick thumbs up. Steve smiled in return and I turned to leave. Did he know about the inhuman stuff too?</p>
<p>"Fitzsimmons, we're heading back to base. You coming?"</p>
<p>Fitz glanced over Skye's shoulder at me and motioned to us both, "<em>We</em>?"</p>
<p>"Did you just refer to them collectively as one name?" I chuckled.</p>
<p>Simmons smiled at my question and then shook her head, "I want to stay here until Coulson wakes up."</p>
<p>Fitz glanced at Simmons then back to use with a quick nod, "Me too."</p>
<p>Skye pulled both of them in for a quick hug and then the two of us walked out to where the quinjet was parked. I assumed she knew how to fly this thing because I definitely did not have any sort of idea. This was the first time I was even inside one of these. Well, maybe that wasn't true. They had to get me back to the US from Russia somehow and this was probably it.</p>
<p>I sat down in one of the seats against the wall and watched as Skye went to the cockpit. She pressed a few buttons, the back hatch closed, and suddenly we were rising in the air. Skye came back after a minute and sat down in the seat against the wall across from me.</p>
<p>"So, it just flies itself?"</p>
<p>Skye nodded, "Yeah, it's got an autopilot program."</p>
<p>I tapped my feet together, "Obviously I'm not here for the quinjet experience. Can you tell me exactly what you heard from Coulson about me?"</p>
<p>"I…" Skye hesitated briefly, then shook her head, "Coulson said that Clint and Natasha met someone in an illegal fighting ring. She got caught up in a SHIELD mess and that led to her…"</p>
<p>"Getting her <em>ass</em> kicked in Russia?" I guessed.</p>
<p>Skye nodded, "Based on the file, it has a copy of your medical records, you should very much be dead. Like, brain put in a blender, bleeding in a dirty prison cell, <em>super</em> dead."</p>
<p>I twisted my lips. She was not wrong. I knew that. I knew I should be dead. Bucky saved my life by taking care of me, but even with him looking over me…I should not have survived that. My brain should just be a puddle of goo in a Russian ditch. I shrugged, "I heal fast."</p>
<p>"And <em>really</em> well." Skye added. "SHIELD thinks that it's a sign of you being inhuman. Your gene being so strong that it's starting to show even without something like terrigenesis to kick start it. You've been like this your whole life?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "Long as I can remember. I've been fighting, real fighting, since I was 16… Do <em>you</em> think I'm inhuman?"</p>
<p>"It wouldn't be the craziest thing." Skye shrugged. I didn't reply that it very much was. This was <em>next level</em> crazy. Me? An <em>inhuman</em>? That couldn't be right. And why hadn't Clint and them told me about this? Was it just because they thought I was fragile and didn't want to make me panic? Skye continued talking despite my internal war, "SHIELD is kind of desperate for help right now too. You could be inhuman, or they could just be seeing what they want to see because they need a new field agent."</p>
<p>
  <em>A new field agent. </em>
</p>
<p>"A new field agent?" I didn't realize the words fell out of my mouth.</p>
<p>"That can't be too surprising, right?" Skye replied. "Isn't that why you're with the Avengers? Training with them?"</p>
<p>They <em>had</em> been training me. Clint and Natasha were hard at work to train me, and I loved it. I loved it because I love fighting and I loved hanging out with them, but this entire time had it just been them working with the new field agent? It felt like my head was spinning. My SHIELD file came to be after Russia, after I survived the un-survivable, and that's when Clint '<em>adopted</em>' me. I always assumed it was a natural progression, but was it just because they wanted to keep the <em>'inhuman field agent to be</em>' close by?</p>
<p>Part of my brain screamed at me. It screamed that I loved them, that we were really friends, that we were really <em>family</em>, and that I was just being paranoid. Every action, every touch, every laugh, it was proof that I was more than just a recruit. My brain demanded I understand that and believe it, and I wanted to.</p>
<p>More than anything I <em>wanted</em> to.</p>
<p>But, there was a small voice at the back of my mind that wouldn't shut up. It whispered that I was a fool. That I had been tricked by a group of superheroes and secret agents who were more than capable of pulling the wool over my dumbass eyes. It whispered that I was just <em>so</em> <em>desperate</em> to be loved that I was grabbing for it in any shred that I could.</p>
<p>Logically, I knew that whispering voice had to be wrong, but life had fucked me over too much for me to completely ignore this. It had been unrealistic for me to go from being a less than nothing, trash fire, street fighter to a suddenly well-dressed, rich, professional employee of the Avengers. Shit like that didn't just happen and it <em>sure as hell</em> didn't happen to people like me.</p>
<p>The worst part of it all was that it reminded me of Boss. It reminded me of the control he took out of my life. He made decisions <em>for</em> me. He told me what I would do, what I would <em>become</em>, who I would fight. Is that what SHIELD wanted to do? What the Avengers wanted to do? Turn me into a full-on inhuman and then throw me at the enemy of the week?</p>
<p>"Aj?" My eyes snapped back to focus on Skye who looked more than concerned, "Are you alright?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Thanks." I replied. "Just a lot to process."</p>
<p>"I get that." Skye chuckled and leaned back in her seat. "This has felt like the longest day of my life."</p>
<p>Suddenly, I remembered that she had gone through some wild shit today. I was so focused on my problem of the moment that her own issues completely slipped my mind. I shook my head, "Do you need to talk about it?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine." Skye shook her head. We sat in silence for a few minutes, just listening to the faint whistling sound of the air outside the quinjet. I was in the process of trying to block out every single thought in my skull when Skye broke the silence, "What do you think of the name Daisy?"</p>
<p>My eyebrows furrowed at the seemingly randomness, "Um, it's pretty? Whose name is it?"</p>
<p>"Mine." Skye said softly. I bit my tongue and let her quietly think to herself. She focused her eyes on me. "It's the name my parents gave me, but I never knew. Only found out recently. Do I look like I could be a Daisy?"</p>
<p>That felt like a loaded question. I rolled it around in my head trying to think of a helpful answer. Finally, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, "Aj is just a nickname. My actual name is Aimee." I paused. "I was Aimee for a long time, but… I realized I couldn't keep being her. Aimee was soft and sad and she missed her family—her sister... It's why I became Aj." Skye kept her thoughtful gaze on me. "Aj was bitter and <em>angry</em>, but she was <em>tough</em> and that's what I needed. It's what I <em>still</em> need."</p>
<p>Skye nodded and her eyes darted to the floor. Her gaze was heavy with her thoughts. I chuckled, "Names are important. They're more than just what people call us, it's what we identify ourselves with. Where did you get the name Skye?"</p>
<p>"I chose it." Skye glanced back up at me with a small smile. "Bounced around orphanages, aged out, and… I chose to be Skye."</p>
<p>"Because you needed to be Skye." I shrugged. "What does the name Daisy mean to you? How does it make you feel?"</p>
<p>"It reminds me that I was <em>loved</em>… even when I thought I wasn't."</p>
<p>It was hard to ignore the similarities we shared. Maybe the two of us could start some kind of club. It'd be a really depressing club, but we could get cool jackets and drink together. That'd be worth it. I gave her a grin, "Skye did you a lot of good, but maybe it's Daisy's turn for a spot in the sun." Skye leaned her head against the wall behind her and mumbled a quick thank you in my direction. I smirked, "So…<em>Hi</em>. My name is Aj, and you are?"</p>
<p>She chuckled and nodded, "I'm…Daisy. <em>I'm Daisy</em>. It's nice to meet you."</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Tony was there when Coulson finally woke up. The man still looked a little pale, even with the blood transfusions, but Tony was sure that would pass soon. He shifted forward in his seat and grinned, "<em>Agent</em>. Finally."</p>
<p>"Stark." Coulson groaned and tried to sit up. Tony helped him, but with every second that passed the agent was regaining his strength. He shook his head and glanced around the medical lab, "I'm in the Tower?"</p>
<p>Tony nodded, "Your crew rushed you in. You lost a lot of blood on account of the…" He motioned to the wrist that was wrapped in gauze and missing a hand. "Guess it was quicker to come here than back to your base. We didn't mind offering you a <em>helping hand</em>." Coulson blinked at him in exhaustion. Tony's smirk grew, "Get it? <em>Helping hand</em>? Because you, <em>you know</em>, are missing one?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I picked up on that." Coulson replied dryly.</p>
<p>Tony snickered to himself, "You won't be for long, don't worry. Bruce and I are working on a replacement already."</p>
<p>Coulson nodded though he wasn't surprised by Stark's kindness. Iron Man acted like he was all snark and dry wit, but Tony couldn't resist going the extra mile to help those around him. He chuckled, "Thanks, Stark. How's…?"</p>
<p>His words drifted off as he noticed Bobbi unconscious in the bed beside him. Hunter was passed out in the chair beside her. Despite sleeping, his face still looked taut with fatigue. Tony noticed where Coulson was staring and cleared his throat, "She woke up a little while ago. Dr. Cho says she's going to be fine. She'll stay here tonight and then tomorrow she's heading to the hospital for knee surgery. The rest of your team is doing good too."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Tony." Coulson sighed in relief. Tony's words put him at complete ease. The last thing he remembered was fighting Gordon, the eyeless inhuman who was trying to break the lethal crystals into the helicarriers fan system, and then he was watching a crystal fall to the floor. Coulson knew if it smashed against the ground that everyone in that room, him, Fitz, Mac, and Natasha, would be exposed to the mist. He hadn't thought. He dove forward, caught the crystal, but the relief was short lived.</p>
<p>Watching his hand turn to stone had been jarring.</p>
<p>Watching Mac cut his hand off with an axe was downright traumatic.</p>
<p>It <em>had</em> saved his life though.</p>
<p>Coulson had passed out soon after that. Waking up alive had been great but waking up and having Tony tell him his team was still alive and the world was kicking was fantastic.</p>
<p>"I was already going to put in a collapsible disco ball, do you want it to glow in the dark too?" Tony asked. Coulson shook his head with a chuckle. Tony grinned, entirely serious about it. He was going to put every bell and whistle in the prosthetic him and Bruce were designing.</p>
<p>Tony picked up his phone to shoot off a text that Coulson was awake. Most of his team was cleaning up and unwinding from the mission, but they would all want to swing up and see Coulson awake. Clint and Natasha would want too as well.</p>
<p>"Have you been here the entire time?" Coulson asked.</p>
<p>Tony nodded, slipping his phone back into his pocket, "Yeah. I'm waiting for Bruce to get done with his half of the designs. Plus, I wanted to stick around and make sure you didn't slip away and then <em>lie</em> to us for months about being dead."</p>
<p>"You're never going to let that go, are you?" Coulson groaned.</p>
<p>"<em>Absolutely not</em>. I'm—"</p>
<p>The medical lab door swung open and they both glanced over to see Steve stick his head in. When Steve spotted Coulson awake, he stepped into the room completely with a nod, "Coulson. It's good to see you up. How are you feeling?"</p>
<p>"Pretty good all things considering." Coulson lifted his gauzed wrist.</p>
<p>"Good." Steve gave him a firm smile, but Tony could see a shimmer of concern in his eyes. Tony lifted his eyebrow in question. Steve cleared his throat, "Have you seen Aj?"</p>
<p>A brief flash of panic washed over Tony. He was still on edge about anything surrounding the topic of Aj. She had calmed him down, talked him off the edge he had been on, and that kept him storming down to the federal prison and beating that piece of shit she called Boss half to death, but—That didn't completely quell the absolute rage Tony felt buzzing under his skin like a live wire.</p>
<p>Tony stood up, "She was looking over applications when I last checked? Is she ok?"</p>
<p>"JARVIS and Fitzsimmons say she left the Tower with Skye. To the Playground." Steve replied.</p>
<p>"Then you know where she is, at least." Coulson replied. "The Playground is secure. They're safe there."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "She's not answering any of my calls or texts."</p>
<p>"Has anyone else tried to call her?" Tony pulled out his phone and answered his own question by immediately calling her phone. He pulled it up to his ear and just listened to it ring. Steve shook his head and crossed his arms. The moment he heard her voicemail, he hung up and tried again. It happened again. Voicemail. Tony stuck shoved his phone into his pocket, "I'm going to the Playground."</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>—"</p>
<p>"I'm getting in the suit, and I'm going to the Playground." Tony snapped.</p>
<p>Steve grabbed his arm before he could push out of the room. Tony went to yank his arm out, but Steve held tight. He shook his head, "Maybe she just needs space, Tony. After what she talked about with Clint and then all of today—"</p>
<p>"<em>I don't give a damn</em>." Tony said slowly, emphasis on every word, "I'm not letting her <em>run</em>—"</p>
<p>"We don't even know if that's it. She was helping Skye, and maybe she just wanted to see the Playground." Steve said firmly and Tony scoffed. "Today is the first day she's seeing anything SHIELD or Avengers related around here. It <em>shook</em> her. I saw it in her eyes."</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "All the more reason to go check on her."</p>
<p>"Tony, we <em>can't</em> smother her." Steve replied.</p>
<p>"<em>You</em> brought this to <em>me</em>. Why would you—"</p>
<p>"I was hoping maybe it was just me she wasn't answering." Steve sighed. "I was hoping she was talking to someone, at least."</p>
<p>Coulson cleared his throat, "I can get in touch with Skye. Tell her to keep an eye on Aj."</p>
<p>There was a tense moment where Tony considered shoving Steve off him, getting his suit, and flying to the Playground without hesitation. He knew Steve was right though. They couldn't smother Aj, she was no prisoner here, and today was the first she was witnessing them being the actual Avengers. The shock of it could've just stunned her. Maybe that was why she went with Skye to the Playground and why she wasn't answering any of their calls. The rationalization of that didn't make him feel any better.</p>
<p>"<em>Thirty minutes</em>." Tony said. "If none of us hear back from her in thirty minutes, I'm flying out to the Playground. You won't be able to stop me, Rogers."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Coulson's Playground was in the middle of nowhere and was partially underground. It was everything I expected of seeing a super secret spy base for the first time. Sky— <em>Daisy</em> had promised me a tour of the base after she dealt with the fallout of everything that occurred today. I wasn't in a rush. She needed to deal with her father, and I was mostly just here because I didn't want to be in the Tower right now. We both got what we wanted.</p>
<p>My phone buzzed again against the table. This time instead of Steve, Tony's caller ID flashed on the screen. It was a picture I snapped of him after he passed out in his lab and Clint drew on his face with a marker. I sighed and flipped the phone over, face down.</p>
<p>"Usually it doesn't stop until you pick it up."</p>
<p>I glanced over to see an unfamiliar face standing in the arch in the glass wall that lead into this break room type area. Daisy had left me here, telling me I had free reign over their fridge, but instead I had just dropped down at the table and moped.</p>
<p>"Me picking up won't stop them." I mumbled in reply.</p>
<p>The guy, a tall blond with light eyes and scruff on his jaw, crossed the room to join me at the table. He flinched a little as he sat down and I guessed it was because he had been a part of today's earlier fight. The scuff mark peeking out from under the neckline of his shirt was more proof. He gave me a quick nod, "I'm Lincoln."</p>
<p>"Oh, nice to meet you." I replied. "I'm Aj."</p>
<p>"I know."</p>
<p>"<em>Wow</em>", I sighed, "Coulson just told <em>everyone</em> about me, huh?"</p>
<p>Lincoln chuckled and he shook his head, "Nah, Daisy just told me about you." He must have talked to her recently if he knew to use that name over the name Skye. "She said you were kind of going through an existential crisis, of sorts. Asked me to talk to you about it."</p>
<p>"Existential crisis? She used that phrase? Damn." I grimaced, then mumbled, "Thought maybe I hid it better than that."</p>
<p>Lincoln nodded, "It's normal, you know? Finding out that you're—"</p>
<p>"We don't know that I am." I quickly corrected. He raised and eyebrow at me and I shrugged, "SHIELD is guessing and yeah, admittedly, the evidence is <em>not</em> in my favor, but…we don't know."</p>
<p>"Ah."</p>
<p>I flinched, "Did that sound offensive? Me quickly denying being an inhuman in front of an inhuman. I assume, you're an inhuman and that's why Daisy sent you to me."</p>
<p>"I am." Lincoln laughed dryly. "But I promise I didn't take it offensively. Like I said, I know it's a crazy concept to try and wrap your head around." I nodded in agreement to that and he tapped his hand against the table. "Do you wanna know why Daisy asked me to come talk to you?"</p>
<p>I shrugged, "You picked the short straw?"</p>
<p>"Before…Before today, this was my job. I was called a transitioner. I helped people transition from living as a human into accepting their abilities. <em>Accepting their fate</em>." My ears perked up at the use of that word. <em>Fate</em>. He continued, "Do you know how we could tell someone was inhuman before terrigenesis?"</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes, "Well, <em>for me</em>, I think it was the <em>not</em> dying after being beaten to death. That's what I hear, at least."</p>
<p>"That's definitely one clue." Lincoln smirked. "One more specific to you. One trait that we <em>all</em> tend to share, is feeling like there is a <em>void</em> in our life." My eyes widened slightly. "Before I transformed, I felt <em>empty</em>. Nothing, no matter what I did, felt right. I used alcohol to try and fill that void and as you can probably guess it never really did. In the moment, it would help, but…"</p>
<p><em>A void</em>. That was a good description of the way I felt sometimes. That hole in my chest that I desperately tried to smother. I had always assumed the hole came from being abandoned and all that fun shit, but maybe it had been more. Fighting was my alcohol. I fought to fill that void and it felt great in the moment, but I was always left at the end of the night with cuts and bruises and an <em>aching</em> vacuum in my chest.</p>
<p>"This void…What does it have to do with fate?"</p>
<p>"The inhuman abilities fill that void, and each ability is <em>hand designed</em> by fate to fill a role." Lincoln replied. The words he said sounded like fortune cookie mumbo-jumbo and I must have made a face that showed it because he laughed, "Yeah, I know. I know how it sounds. Right now, to be honest…I'm questioning it a little myself too."</p>
<p>I chuckled, and my phone buzzed again, and I sighed and mumbled, "They're <em>adamant</em>."</p>
<p>"Why are you avoiding them?" He questioned.</p>
<p>"They…" I hesitated for a second, "They talked to <em>every</em> <em>person</em> on the planet about me being—<em>maybe</em>being inhuman, but I didn't make that list. I had to find out from someone else and I don't… I don't like people keeping secrets from me. Even if they think it's to protect me I just—<em>I hate that</em>. I hate being left in the dark."</p>
<p>Lincoln nodded, "That's understandable. I'm sorry that happened to you. Is that all that's bothering you though?"</p>
<p>"No." I mumbled. Quickly, I pushed my phone further away and then rested my arms on the table, leaning toward him, "Let's say I am an inhuman. For argument's sake." Lincoln chuckled and nodded. "That means <em>every</em> single fight I've won, every <em>obstacle</em> I've overcome, it was just because of my alien genes giving me an extra push. It wasn't me. It was some weird superpower I didn't even ask for."</p>
<p>I hated the idea of my skills being taken away from me. In my life, I had two or three skills I was proud of and fighting was one of them. If the only reason I was good at fighting was because of some alien bullshit what did that leave me with?</p>
<p>Lincoln shook his head, "You're looking at it wrong, Aj. You're looking at this like your abilities are some kind of outside source. If you are inhuman, then what you can do comes from <em>who you are</em>. <em>Everything</em> you've done, <em>everything</em> you've accomplished is still <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>"Thanks, Lincoln." I replied. His words did help a little.</p>
<p>"No problem. I know how tough this can be." Lincoln replied. "Besides, I owe Daisy. This is my last favor for her."</p>
<p>"Last?"</p>
<p>Lincoln nodded, "I'm leaving. I need…I need to step away from the inhuman community right now."</p>
<p>I raised an eyebrow, "Well, that's not a selling point."</p>
<p>Lincoln laughed, "I know. I'm sorry. I've just… I feel like I've been disillusioned for a while. I don't know how much you know about what happened today—"</p>
<p>"I know enough." I replied. "I got the summary."</p>
<p>"The leader of Afterlife, the inhuman community, we—I looked up to her. Finding out that everything she told us, everything we thought we were fighting for was just a lie…A lie she was using to exact vengeance? I was just a pawn in her plan for revenge and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth."</p>
<p>I nodded, "I get that."</p>
<p>"One thing I do know though, is that I haven't felt empty since I went through terrigenesis." Lincoln said. My phone buzzed against the table again. He motioned to it, "I don't know why they didn't share any of this with you. I don't know them. But terrigenesis is <em>your</em> decision. I don't feel empty anymore, but I spent a <em>year</em>after terrigenesis feeling like my blood <em>was on fire</em>." He set his hand on the table, palm up, and I watched as sparks of bright blue electricity danced from finger to finger. "Afterlife may have ended up being built on a lie, but I wouldn't have survived without having them there to help me. Whatever you decide, make sure you have a support group first."</p>
<p>I gave him a firm nod, "Thank you, Lincoln. This really did help." Lincoln stood up from his seat, and I gave him a smile, "Whatever you plan on doing now… good luck with it."</p>
<p>Lincoln reached out to squeeze my shoulder once before turning and leaving how he came in. I stared at the empty arch for a few minutes before flipping over my phone and letting the screen light up. Multiple missed calls from Steve, Tony, and Clint. A mix of texts from nearly every Avenger. With a sigh, I unlocked it and sent a quick text to the group chat telling them I was fine and would be home soon. The last thing I needed was them blowing off Coulson's front door because I ignored too many calls.</p>
<p>I rested my chin in my hand and closed my eyes. These days the void wasn't so gaping and aching. That had to be a good sign, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"Did she say <em>when</em> she was coming back?"</p>
<p>"You got the same text we all did, Stark." Natasha replied back. Bruce could feel the tension in the air today. Between the secret mission and now Aj distancing herself, it had everyone on edge.</p>
<p>Tony scoffed, "I just thought since you were in a secret keeping mood today that you might, <em>I don't know</em>, might be <em>hiding</em> something."</p>
<p>Natasha glared up over the magazine she was flipping through and if looks could kill Tony would be a pile of smoldering ash on the floor right now. Bruce rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh, "I'm sure she'll be back soon, Tony. <em>Relax</em>."</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes and moved to head up to his lab. They watched him go, but no one moved to stop him. Everyone knew that a little time in his lab blowing off steam would do the entire Tower some good. Fifteen minutes later, Steve came back in with Clint and the archer glanced around.</p>
<p>"Oh, is Tony still pissed?" Clint questioned.</p>
<p>"Yes." Bruce replied.</p>
<p>Clint smirked and rubbed his hands together, "Ok, I'm gonna go cheer him up."</p>
<p>Bruce watched as Clint raced up the stairs to the lab. Clint was sometimes very good at cheering up Tony and sometimes he was very bad at it. Honestly, it was a 50/50 split. Nobody stopped him from trying though because it was a high risk, high reward kind of situation. The odds were, sort of, in their favor.</p>
<p>"Aj, not back yet?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"Do you see her here?" Natasha snapped. Steve raised an eyebrow at her, and she let out a small sigh. She shook her head, "Coulson said he'd send her back once they got back to base. They left five minutes ago, so it's only a matter of time."</p>
<p>Bruce stood up from the couch and gave them a smile, "Dinner? Any suggestions?"</p>
<p>He knew, from experience, that days like this happened. They were a team, a family really, but that didn't absolve them of arguments. In fact, it probably <em>worsened</em> them. At the end of the day though, no matter how upset they were at one another, they also knew that the people around them had their backs to the very last fight. Clint and Natasha may have kept this mission from all of them, but Bruce also knew that the two of them would battle to their very last breath for any of them.</p>
<p>"Pizza?" Natasha suggested and Steve nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>"I'll place some orders. The usual?" Bruce motioned to them.</p>
<p>Natasha grinned, "Yes."</p>
<p>Steve pointed at him, "Make sure one has bacon and mushroom, yeah?"</p>
<p>Bruce nodded and moved toward the stairs. Clint and Tony weren't screaming at each other yet which was a great sign. From the looks of it, Tony also wasn't strangling Clint. Two points for Clint. Bruce pushed the door open and stuck his head in.</p>
<p>"Barton, you have the mental stability of a <em>one legged pigeon</em>. I don't want to hear it." Tony scoffed with humor.</p>
<p>Clint, who was sitting on the lab table in front of Tony, smirked, "That must be a real smart pigeon."</p>
<p>Bruce chuckled, "Hey, I'm ordering pizza. What do you guys want?"</p>
<p>"Oh, get some—"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." Tony interrupted Clint, "You don't get to pick toppings anymore."</p>
<p>"That's <em>prejudice</em>."</p>
<p>"No, it's common sense. You wouldn't recognize it because you don't have any."</p>
<p>"I'll just get the usual." Bruce mumbled with a laugh while they continued to argue over pizzas. Food was the best kind of peace offering the Avengers had for one another. Moments like this didn't call for soft apologizes. It was more of a '<em>order food, drink beer, and move on</em>' kind of argument. Tomorrow it would be forgotten.</p>
<p>Bruce pulled his cell phone out to order a pizza, but it buzzed in his hand at the same time. A text from Aj again. This one saying that she was on her way home. He smiled at the screen. Tomorrow things would hopefully be completely back to normal.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Being alone in the quinjet was kind of creepy. Daisy had set it up for me, showed me how to close the back hatch, and then wished me a good trip. This was the Avenger's personal quinjet anyways, so it needed to go back to the Tower. According to Daisy, Coulson had woken up and was doing well. Him and the other agents were in the air heading back to the Playground right now. I'd probably pass them mid-air.</p>
<p>Rather than sit in one of the chairs, I picked a spot on the floor and let my back lean against the wall. What was I going to do? The bad answer was very, very easy and I hated that. My natural instinct, the part of me that I let make decisions for the past five years, was trying to kick in. It was kicking and screaming in my skull for me to run. Drop everything and run.</p>
<p>It would be so easy.</p>
<p>Like breathing.</p>
<p>It used to be easy, at least. I'd like to believe that if I really set my mind to it that I'd be able to leave without even the temptation of looking back. Logically, that's how it should work. I had only been here, known them for a little over two months, and that was <em>nothing</em>. That was nothing. A blink of an eye. They were nothing and I could run. I could run. I could run. I could run until I hit the first illegal fighting ring I found and then things would make sense. If I could just throw a punch right now, break my knuckle against the face of some poor stranger, then maybe things would make a little more sense. My brain wouldn't be clouded and muddled.</p>
<p>Like an addict who hadn't had a hit in weeks, I was itching. Ignoring it had been easy before, but the moment confusion and self-doubt hit, I was lost again.</p>
<p>While one part of my brain formulated an escape plan, the other begged me to stop. Stop and breathe. Take a minute. If I was just being trained into a super, field agent then how come Natasha snapped me funny photos every day and combed her fingers through my hair while we hung out? If I was just some potential inhuman, then how come Bruce went out of his way to take his tea breaks with me? If I was nothing but a tool in SHIELD's shed, then how come Sam traveled all the way from DC just to make sure my brain wasn't imploding on itself? I thought of Steve ordering take-out and watching Netflix with me no matter how much I annoyed him with hypothetic questions. I thought of Tony lashing out in his lab, boiling in rage, at a man he never met just because said man put his hands on me. I thought of the look in Clint's eyes when I showed him my scars, the way he held me while I cried.</p>
<p>With a sigh, I pulled my legs up and leaned my head on them. This wouldn't be easy because they weren't nothing. Two months sounded like a drop in the ocean on paper, but those two months were filled with tons and tons of moments. From big ones to the tiny ones. They all collected and every single one meant the world to me.</p>
<p>Just like I had told Daisy, I became Aj because I needed to be Aj to survive. Right now though, I wasn't the same Aj who was born in that Alabama fighting ring. I had changed a lot. A slow decline for the past five years with a sharp incline in the past two months. Who I was now…? I liked her. I liked who I was right now. I still needed the sharp edges that Aj had, but if I ran today I would be leaving behind a huge chunk of what I've become.</p>
<p>If I was really being honest with myself, I'd do it. I'd be a field agent for them. Not because I really wanted to. I actually had no interest in being an agent of any kind, I already knew I didn't do well with authority, but if they asked me to… if they <em>asked</em> then I <em>would</em>. I'd do <em>anything</em> for them. In the same way that I would still take a bullet for Aubrey, I would throw myself on a grenade for them. The only difference was that I don't think I'd ever trust Aubrey again. But them…?</p>
<p>I <em>trusted</em> them.</p>
<p>Love would come and go in my life, emphasis on the latter, but rarely did I ever trust. For me, trusting was harder than loving. If you expected the worse, if you looked for the signs, then hit the road running the moment things began to go south you avoided so much pain. Losing love was painful but losing love from someone you thought would never hurt you was <em>agonizing</em>. It was the kind of thing I knew I wouldn't survive again.</p>
<p>
  <em>Was I really ready to risk it for these people?</em>
</p>
<p>The jarring motion of the quinjet landing shocked me out of my thoughts. The trip to the Playground was quick, they weren't very far, but it had gone by in a blur for me. I stood up and rubbed the sweat on my palms onto my pants. It took one more minute of me just standing there before I was able to move and hit the button to lower the back hatch. I quickly moved out of the jet and across the jet to try and get out of the biting, cold air.</p>
<p>I had run for far less in the past, and right now I had the biggest red flag staring me right in the face. The me of three months ago would've already been sprinting down the streets of Manhattan.</p>
<p>The penthouse doors opened for me and when I stepped in I was greeted by the smell of pizza and the rumble of laughter hanging in the air. The Avengers were moving around the dining table. Bruce and Natasha were already seated in chairs, Clint was sitting on the table, Tony was carrying pizzas to the table, and Steve was a step behind him with a few beers.</p>
<p>"<em>Kid</em>! You're just in time!" Clint cheered right before Tony slammed the side of one of the pizza boxes against the side of his head, knocking him off the table, "<em>Motherfuck</em>—"</p>
<p>"One on the right has mushrooms and bacon for you." Tony called out while sliding a few of the other boxes on the table. Steve set down the five beers he had and moved back to the kitchen. "Watch out though, because the box in the middle is an <em>abomination</em>."</p>
<p>Natasha threw the top of the box open, "I like pineapple on my pizza. <em>Bite me</em>."</p>
<p>"It's a slight against nature!"</p>
<p>Bruce shook his head with a sigh, "Do we have to have this argument <em>every</em> time we order pizza?"</p>
<p>"Tasha is right. Pineapple on pizza is a win." Clint had crawled up from the floor to grab a few slices for himself.</p>
<p>Tony scoffed and sat down, he cracked the top off the bottles and began to pass them around, "I have seen you eat pizza with <em>hot dogs</em> <em>and</em> <em>beets</em>. You have <em>no</em> right to an opinion, bird brain."</p>
<p>"I stand by that pizza and—" Clint in his passion of the argument ended up dropping his slice of pizza onto the floor face down, "Aw, pizza, no."</p>
<p>He bent over to pick it up and every Avenger at the table yelled out, "<em>No</em>!"</p>
<p>Clint scoffed, "Twenty second rule."</p>
<p>"I get it, I'm 96-years-old, but I'm pretty positive that <em>isn't</em> accurate." Steve called out, walking back to the table with another bottle. He came over to me with a small smile and offered me the bottle in his hand. It was a hard cider. I wasn't a fan of the beer they kept here, but the hard cider Tony had ordered was my favorite. "Welcome back."</p>
<p>I took the bottle with a chuckle, "Did I miss much?"</p>
<p>"The usual amount of arguing." Steve replied.</p>
<p>Steve pulled out a chair for me before taking the seat between me and Clint. Tony slid the fifth bottle down the table and Steve caught it before it went toppling over. Tony scoffed, "By arguing he means Clintasha broke rule number 4."</p>
<p>"<em>Rule number 4</em>?" I questioned.</p>
<p>Bruce spoke up, covering his mouth with his hand, his voice muffled by food, "No hiding world ending missions from one another."</p>
<p>"You guys needed a rule for that one?" I questioned with a laugh.</p>
<p>Clint snickered, "Rule number 7 is Tony isn't allowed to be the race car piece in Monopoly."</p>
<p>"The race car incident was <em>your damn fault</em>." Tony snapped back. "I still want to appeal that one."</p>
<p>"<em>Denied</em>." Everyone at the table chorused at once.</p>
<p>Tony mumbled a string of grumbling curses under his breath. I watched as the conversation focused back on Clint and his pizza. He had turned around to pick up the slice on the floor and everyone was trying to keep him from eating it. Clint though was adamant that this slice was more important than the multiple boxes of pizza in front of him. I couldn't help but grin while listening to them attack Clint and his decisions in life.</p>
<p>The question of the day was: <em>Would I be willing trust the Avengers and risk the agonizing pain of betrayal from them</em>?</p>
<p>And the answer was, without a doubt, yes. <em>Absolutely, yes.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Lots of Whiskey, and An Equal Amount of Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Yay new chapter. This is the one that opens the door to where this story needs to go too. Technically speaking, we are kind of at the halfway point here? I'm breaking this up into separate "books" and the first leg of this journey is nearly halfway through. Nice. Again, please leave me rambly comments/reviews so I can read over them and happy cry thanks!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>                                                                   </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>"I used to be afraid of the dark</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Until I came to realize that</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There are monsters</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>hidden away</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Beneath a smile as beautiful as</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>the first morning rays</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Only those are twice as dangerous</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>For they hide in plain sight</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Because, unlike the ones</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>in your closet,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>They aren't afraid of the light." –s.s.w</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"This guy says he's done PR for the <em>Black Eyed Peas</em>!" Peter said with wide eyes. He held the printed application up for me to see. In the past two weeks, I had managed to narrow down hundreds of applications into a final five. Their background checks had just come back clean which meant I was going to have to interview them now.</p>
<p>I squinted to look at the application and shook my head, "I'm not sure if that's a pro or con."</p>
<p>Peter shrugged and picked up a different application to look over. Tony had offered the kid after school lab space and he jumped on the chance. Now, every couple of days, he'd swing by to do science things. Today was one of those days, but the experiments or whatever it was they did, had gotten postponed for a mission.</p>
<p>"What kind of mission are they going on?" Peter asked.</p>
<p>"Steve said something about, like, knocking a HYDRA base off the map or—<em>wait</em>." I looked up from the work I was doing. "Are you supposed to know that? That might be confidential."</p>
<p>Peter raised an eyebrow, "Are <em>you</em> allowed to know that?"</p>
<p>"Touché, kid." I mumbled and went back to making notes on the applications. A few minutes passed and I heard Peter chuckling from across the table. I glanced up, expecting him to have found something funny in one of the applications, but instead he was looking at his phone. Peter began to type out a message with a grin on his face. I smirked, "Texting your <em>girlfriend</em>, Petey?"</p>
<p>Peter's eyes widened and rose to meet mine, a bright pink blush on his face, "W—<em>What</em>? No, no, no! She's <em>not</em> my girlfrie—I mean, I <em>don't have</em> a girlfriend."</p>
<p>"Aw", I rested my elbow on the table and grinned at him, "Do you have a crush?"</p>
<p>He shook his head rapidly, "No way, my only crush is my <em>crushing anxiety</em>."</p>
<p>Leaving my head against my hand, I tilted it slightly with concern, "You good, Pete? I have a therapist on speed dial. It's Sam, but he's decent."</p>
<p>Peter chuckled and gave me a comforting thumbs up. I shook my head and looked away. I found his quirky sense of humor to be hilarious, but I knew Tony was one joke away from actually getting the kid a non-Sam therapist. We worked in silence for the next few minutes. Peter had pulled out his books to work on some homework and I read over applicant #3. She was my favorite so far. Not much experience, but a good education. I wouldn't judge anyone based on their lack of experience. I mean, look at my ass.</p>
<p>A loud roaring sound, similar to a gushing waterfall, made me jump and whip around. Luckily, it was just Thor arriving. The colorful lights disappeared, and he walked away from his dedicated spot on the deck to step into the penthouse. That was the first time I saw and heard his arrival.</p>
<p>"Hey, Thor." I stood up to greet him.</p>
<p>"Ah, Aj. How have you been?" Thor opened his arms wide and I chuckled before stepping over to give him a quick hug. He wore his Asgardian clothes. The fancy silver and dark gray armor with its bright red cape. Thor motioned to Peter with his hammer, "And Peter Parker! It's good to see you again, small boy."</p>
<p>Peter raised his hand in greeting, "Uh, thanks, Mr. Thor?"</p>
<p>"The others?" Thor clapped his hand on my shoulder.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'll walk you down. With you here they should be ready to go." I replied, then glanced to Peter, "I'll be right back, ok?"</p>
<p>Peter gave me a nod and then Thor and I crossed the room to the same elevator that would lead up to the medical lab. It was also the elevator that lead down into the Avenger's locker room. Tony had used a fancier label with words like '<em>Tactical Gear'</em>, '<em>Weapons Vault'</em>, and '<em>Uniform Storage'</em>, but it was a glorified, high-tech locker room. It's where they would change into their gear before whisking off to save the world. I had only gotten acquainted with it in the last two weeks.</p>
<p>"How's Asgard?" I asked hitting the down button.</p>
<p>Thor gave me a grin, "Asgard is well. I think you'd enjoy it immensely, Aj."</p>
<p>I chuckled, "I'm sure you're not wrong, but I left the country for the first time three-ish months ago and that was a <em>train wreck</em>. I think I'm gonna hold off on leaving the planet for at least a little while."</p>
<p>Thor laughed along with me, his laughter as usual sounding like sunshine, and I tried not to be in awe. For the most part, I had gotten used to the other Avengers. They've been humanized. It was hard to think of Tony as Iron Man when I've watched him spill his coffee then mop it up with his shirt to avoid leaving the lab, or Clint as the incredible Hawkeye when I've seen his ass fall out of a A/C vent on three sperate occasions. They were just people to me now. Thor, on the other hand, was still very much hard to humanize. He was such a chill guy, but my brain just wouldn't stop screaming '<em>god of thunder'</em> at me.</p>
<p>The elevator doors opened, and we stepped out. The locker room was spacious, and each Avenger had their own locker for their gear. The lockers weren't high school sized though. They were giant closets, big enough to hold all the shit they had. Uniforms, weapons, cute little knick-knacks, etc.</p>
<p>"Nice of you to finally join us, Point Break." Tony called out. Besides Bruce, he was the only one still wearing normal clothes. Clint was lying on a bench in his gear spinning an arrow between his fingers. Natasha and Steve were out of view.</p>
<p>I pointed to Tony, "Do you always wear your AC/DC shirt on super-secret HYDRA base busting missions?" Clint raised an eyebrow at me, and I shook my head, "Ones that I know absolutely <em>nothing</em> about."</p>
<p>"Wasn't me with the big mouth this time." Tony replied then pointed back at me, "And I'll have you know sometimes I wear my Black Sabbath one."</p>
<p>Clint mumbled something that I didn't catch, but Thor did. He chuckled and set his hammer on top of the archer's chest. Clint barked out a curse and tried to get up only to flail about in annoyance.</p>
<p>"Oh, <em>come on</em>, Thor!" Clint groaned.</p>
<p>"Is Thor finally here?" I heard Steve ask.</p>
<p>A second later he stepped into view from wherever he had been prepping for the mission. Steve was decked out in his Captain America uniform in all its red, white, and blue glory. His tight ass t-shirts left nothing to the imagination, but this uniform was something special. It hugged his form leaving him looking badass and hot. I knew Steve was handsome, everyone on planet Earth knew that, but this was the first time my brain was using the word '<em>hot'</em> to describe him.</p>
<p>"<em>God bless America</em>." I said, dragging my eyes back up to meet Steve's. His eyes widened a bit, his cheeks flushing briefly, and then his lips curled up in a smile. Tony wolf whistled loudly, and now it was my turn to blush bright red. Thor was grinning at me and Clint, who was still stuck on the bench with an alien hammer on his chest, grinned at me as well. "Oh, uh—"</p>
<p>Tony stepped into my view, blocking Steve from it, he waved his hands in front of my face, "<em>Hey</em>, no objectifying the elderly. Aren't you supposed to be <em>babysitting</em>?"</p>
<p>"Peter is <em>15</em>. He doesn't need a babysitter." I leaned to the side to peek around Tony, catching Steve's smile, only for Tony to get back in my face. I rolled my eyes, "Aren't you supposed to be flying to a HYDRA base to beat the shit out of them?"</p>
<p>"Yes, we are." Natasha leaned against the wall over by where Steve was, "You boys ready or do you need more time to curl your hair?"</p>
<p>Tony yanked me into a tight hug, called out a good-bye, then tried to push me to the elevator. I ducked under his arm with a shake of my head so I could say real good-byes. This was the first time I was watching the team load up and fly away. I was positive they would be fine because they were <em>amazing</em> and <em>super</em>superheroes, but there was always that lingering doubt.</p>
<p>"Y'all will be careful right?" I twisted my lips.</p>
<p>"Have no fear. I will bring them back in one piece." Thor reassured me. "It is my responsibility as the strongest avenger."</p>
<p>"<em>Not the strongest</em>." Clint echoed.</p>
<p>"I make <em>no</em> promises about Barton."</p>
<p>I chuckled, Thor picked up his hammer, and Clint rolled to his feet with arms outstretched. I shook my head and gave him a hug, then moved on to hug Bruce, and Natasha too. Wishing each of them good luck. When I got to Steve, I felt my face heat up again. Having thoughts like that about your friend was one thing, voicing said thoughts aloud in front of all the rest of your friends was another. If only the ground would open up and swallow me whole.</p>
<p>"So, uh, <em>good luck</em>, Captain Rogers." I reached forward and punched his arm lightly, "Make those HYDRA assholes cry or <em>whatever</em>."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "What? I don't get a hug because you embarrassed yourself?"</p>
<p>"Keep sassing me. See if you <em>ever</em> get a hug again." I replied without missing a beat. He shook his head and pulled me into a hug that I returned happily. Worry washed over me again and my arms tightened around him. "Be careful. Bring them all back, ok?"</p>
<p>"I will, Aj. Don't worry." Steve replied and pulled away. He turned and took a step back to head to where the rest of the team had gone, to the quinjet, but then he stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "I <em>could</em> wear this to our next Netflix—"</p>
<p>"<em>Bye, Steve</em>!" I said loudly.</p>
<p>Steve laughed again and walked out of the locker room out to where the quinjet was waiting for him. I shook my head and moved back to the elevator so I could get to the penthouse. "<em>God bless America</em>, I actually said <em>God bless America</em>." I mumbled to myself. Honestly, I wasn't quite sure why I <em>still</em> let myself talk.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They were making good time. The HYDRA base they were tackling first was technically the one closest to them. It was in a rural area in Spain. <em>Had been</em>, at least. After a three-hour flight there, it only took them twenty-five minutes to bring the entire base to its knees. The bad news was that it was a smaller base and Von Strucker hadn't set his main operations there. Steve knew they weren't lucky enough to get him on the first attack though.</p>
<p>"South exit clear." Steve said into his earpiece.</p>
<p>"<em>Copy that, Captain Handsome</em>." Tony called back.</p>
<p>Steve wanted to be annoyed at the new nickname, roll his eyes and hit him back with a quip, but instead all he could do was smirk. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't still thinking of the look on Aj's face when she saw him for the first time in uniform. Steve would also be lying if he said he didn't like it.</p>
<p>Clint suddenly poked his head out the door that was to Steve's left. The archer, who had managed to bruise the eye that had just healed, motioned to him, "Hey, do you wanna join us in here looking for clues on that piece of shit scepter Loki had or do you need another minute out here to daydream about Aj? Just trying to gauge how our day is going."</p>
<p>"Don't you have something useful to do?" Steve scoffed, his smile still not faltering.</p>
<p>Clint shook his head with a shrug, "Not usually, no."</p>
<p>Steve clipped his shield to his back and slipped out of his helmet. The base was carved into the side of a mountain, hidden by the forest surrounding it, but due to the location it limited the growth HYRDA could do here. Coulson was in the process of sending in a team of agents to collect the HYRDA scum that had surrendered and were now cuffed and placed aside with Natasha looking over them.</p>
<p>"Thor, have you found anything?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>Rather than answering over the comm unit, Thor breezed into the room with a frown, "I have not. Loki's scepter is not here."</p>
<p>"We'll find the scepter when we find Von Strucker. You know the two will be together." Bruce said while trying to pull files from the HYDRA database onto their own. A code green had been avoided and that left the man in a good mood. "He probably sleeps with it at night."</p>
<p>Tony, who stood beside him looking over his shoulder with his face mask flipped up, shook his head, "From everything I'm seeing, there aren't any clues either. A few files on enhancement experiments that we're unfortunately gonna have to dig through."</p>
<p>"Nat?" Steve said.</p>
<p>The red head glanced over her shoulder with a small shake of her head, "They say they don't know anything, and they aren't lying. They're too low level to have any real information for us."</p>
<p>"Cool, this trip was fun." Tony clapped his hands. "Can we go?"</p>
<p>"Not until the team Coulson dispatched gets here."</p>
<p>Tony groaned and went back to reading over Bruce's shoulders. Thor came over to stand beside Steve with a frown on his face. He let out a sharp sigh, "That scepter in the hands of my brother was one thing. He wanted power through the control of others—"</p>
<p>"Yeah, in case I haven't said it recent enough, <em>fuck your brother</em>, Thor." Clint barked out. Understandably, he still hated Loki more than any other person on Earth.</p>
<p>Thor glanced over at him with a sad nod before turning back to Steve, "This Von Strucker, from what I have seen and heard…the evil he can accomplish will be <em>unfathomable</em>."</p>
<p>"The list Coulson and his team got for us has every HYDRA base in Europe. We'll find him."</p>
<p>"What's to stop him from running?" Natasha asked. "He has to know we have those locations. Especially when we start picking them off the map one by one."</p>
<p>Steve nodded, "That <em>is</em> a risk, but from what I've seen…men like Von Strucker are arrogant. They think they're untouchable. My bet is, he won't move from his base. Not until he accomplishes his goal."</p>
<p>"So, we just have to beat him to it." Clint spun in the spinning chair he was seated in.</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck</em>!" Tony snapped. Every person in the room swiveled around to face him and whatever danger that had startled him. Instead, all they saw was anger, and quite frankly fear, in his brown eyes. Before anyone could ask him what was wrong, Tony barked again, "JARVIS, project screen."</p>
<p>A holographic screen was projected onto the wall and all eyes snapped to it. It was the local News Channel from back home. The reporter was frantically speaking while the words '<em>Breaking News'</em> flashed red on the screen. Beyond the reporter though, a shaky video showed an unfamiliar man with a cruel and excited smirk pasted on his face. In one hand he held a pistol and in the other he had his arm locked around Aj's neck while her nails dug into his skin.</p>
<p><em>"—</em> <em>we're still on scene at Avengers Tower where a woman who we have identified as Aimee Jane Bradshaw, a close confidant of the Avengers and Tony Stark's previous PA, has been taken hostage by an unidentified man. Police have arrived—"</em></p>
<p>For the first time since they left New York, Steve's smile fell.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>This was the first time I had been alone in the Tower. Up until now, at least one of the Avengers had been around. It was an odd feeling. Peter had stuck around for another hour to hang out with me, but then he had to run off for some club meeting. I don't know what kind of school club met on a Saturday, but the kid did go to a crazy, smart person school. Who knew what they did? Playing with the applications had only kept me busy for so long.</p>
<p><em>"</em><em>The team has reached the base and their communications to the Tower have gone dark until the mission ends, Ms. Bradshaw."</em> JARVIS chimed above me.</p>
<p>"Thanks, J." I replied and continued to online shop on my phone. Christmas was coming up and for the first time in years, I had people to buy gifts for. I also had money to buy gifts which was cool too. Unfortunately, the Avengers had a rule for Christmas. Gifts could be given to one another, but the gift had to be handmade or be under $20. Apparently, the rule was formed because the first year they spent Christmas together, Tony bought them insane and absorbent gifts. The good news of this rule was that Tony couldn't actually buy me a Jeep.</p>
<p>I bought Granny a few warmer sweaters, perfume, and a necklace I knew she'd like. That was the easy gift. I'd probably spend the remaining two weeks before Christmas desperately trying to think of something until the very last minute.</p>
<p>After ten minutes of staring at the ceiling, coming up with nothing, I rolled off the couch and moved toward the elevator. It was only four in the afternoon which meant Sal would still be downstairs serving coffee. The only day he took off was Sunday.</p>
<p>The lobby downstairs was still pretty active for a Saturday. The workers at Stark Industries were busy bodies. Despite being a personal assistant for Tony Stark for two plus months, I still actually didn't know what all these people did. I knew what Tony did. Sort of. I nodded to a few familiar faces before saddling up to Sal's counter. He peeked his head up from a cabinet he was rooting through, "Little bird! I didn't think I'd see you today."</p>
<p>"I missed you too much, Sal." I replied back. He was the only person working right now. Sal was the kind of guy who gave his employees the entire weekend off. Always said he could manage the stand himself on Saturday. "What do I want today?"</p>
<p>Sal hummed, "With the recent snowfall, I think you want my special hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a little of my secret ingredient."</p>
<p>"Secret ingredient?" I raised an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>"If I tell you my secret ingredient I'll be out of business." Sal scoffed and began to make the drink. I felt a chill run down my spine and tightened Bucky's jacket around myself. Warily, I turned around and let my eyes glance over the room. Everything seemed normal and in place. The chill was probably just from the cold. That was all. "You doing ok today, Aj?"</p>
<p>I smiled and turned back around to face Sal. He brought over the drink and set it in front of me, "I'm good, Sal. Thanks so much." I picked up the drink and took a sip only to flinch in surprise and set it down with a cough, "The secret ingredient is whiskey. <em>Lots</em> of whiskey."</p>
<p>"Hmm, sounds good. I think I'll take one of those." A deep voice from behind me said. I took a step to the side and glanced over my shoulder. I hadn't felt him sneak up on me. That was unusual for me.</p>
<p>Sal chirped that he was working on it and I let my eyes drag over the stranger's features. He didn't look familiar to me at all. Rugged, handsome features, a square jaw covered in black and gray scruff that matched the color of his thick, slicked back hair. He gave me a friendly grin, but the warmth of the smile didn't match the coldness in his dark brown eyes.</p>
<p>"How're you doing?" He asked again. He was taller than me, by a decent bit, and was decked out in black jeans, a black leather jacket, and matching black scarf. I mumbled a friendly reply and turned to leave. "Oh, hang on, <em>Aj</em>. I wanted to talk to you for a minute."</p>
<p>That same chill ran down my spine at him using my name.</p>
<p>I turned and leveled a glare at him, "Who the hell are you?"</p>
<p>"I <em>was</em> your executioner, but I don't know if I could kill a face <em>that</em> pretty." He chuckled. Sal came back with the drink and noticed the tenseness around us. He opened his mouth to speak, but the man pulled a gun out of his leather jacket pocket and rested it on the counter facing Sal. "Neither of you make a sound and this <em>might</em> have a happy ending."</p>
<p>Sal swallowed a lump in his throat, and I could see him shaking. I tried to shoot him a reassuring look, but it did nothing. Instead, I settled on glaring at the man in front of us. I spoke between clenched teeth, "Get that damn thing away from him. <em>Now</em>."</p>
<p>"Wow." He chuckled again. "Look at that <em>anger</em>. My baby brother was right. You got a temper on you, little girl."</p>
<p>My eyes widened, "<em>Baby brother?"</em> Suddenly, the rumors of Boss having a big brother partying it up out in Vegas came to the forefront of my mind. That's all I thought it was though. Just rumors. They didn't even look like each other, "I didn't think Boss had—"</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah. That spineless little dick is my <em>half-brother</em>. Mama always did like his weaselly ass best, but hey", He winked at me, "At least I got the looks."</p>
<p>"What the fuck do you want?" I snapped.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, now." He shook his head and motioned toward Sal with the gun, "We're still in the small talk portion of this hold-up, Small Fry."</p>
<p>"Don't <em>fucking</em> call me that." I growled. "And get that <em>damn</em> gun off—"</p>
<p>He shook his head and ignored me, "My name is Vincent Morgan. They call me the Reaper back home and—"</p>
<p>"I don't give a shit what they call you." I said firmly. "Take your gun off Sal <em>right now</em>."</p>
<p>Vincent Morgan smirked, a cruel fire in his eyes, "<em>Hot damn</em>. Eugene was always bitching about you. I didn't get why he was so obsessed with some little fighter in his dirty as <em>shit</em> ring, but <em>wow</em>…I get it now. <em>The balls on you</em>."</p>
<p>He was shaking the gun again, and I felt my heart race. My anger quickly turned to desperation, "This is between me and you. Sal has <em>nothing</em> to do with this. Point that gun at <em>me</em>. <em>Please</em>."</p>
<p>"Hmmm." Vincent grinned at me, "Good idea."</p>
<p>He pulled the trigger and the drink fell out of my hand. Sal let out a cry of pain and collapsed to the floor. Gasping, I cried out and tried to jump over the counter as people in the lobby screamed. Before I could crawl over and get to the moaning Sal though, an arm wrapped tightly around my throat and I felt the muzzle of his gun press against my temple.</p>
<p>"<em>Sal</em>!" I screamed as Vincent dragged me away from the counter. I struggled against his grip desperately, but it did nothing. "<em>You sick son of a bitch</em>! <em>He didn't do anything</em>!"</p>
<p>Vincent pressed his lips against my ear and chuckled, his deep voice leeching into my brain and hot breath tickling me, "I know. I just like making a scene." It was only then, while he dragged me away from the coffee stand, that I noticed there were other men scattered around the room with their own guns. It was why security couldn't make a move. "Now unless you want me to make a <em>bigger</em> scene, we need to go."</p>
<p>I dug my nails into his arm, but the leather jacket made it useless, "You're a <em>dumbass</em>. What kind of <em>idiot </em>breaks into <em>Avengers Tower</em> and takes hostages?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I did my research." Vincent hummed. "And I know the Avengers left you <em>home alone</em> while they party it up in Spain."</p>
<p>How did he know that? I didn't even know they'd be going to Spain specifically. It could've just been a wild guess on his part, but he sounded too confident for that to be it. I took in a shaky breath, "What the <em>hell</em> do you want?"</p>
<p>"I lied to you." Vincent shook his head, "I hope you don't hold that against me. See, Eugene asked me to kill you and I was gonna, that part was true, but the reason I decided not to wasn't just because of that pretty little smile. Although, it <em>did</em> help."</p>
<p>I could hear sirens outside and one of his masked goons was at the front door trying to leave, but it was locked up. Score one for JARVIS. I chuckled, "Looks like you're stuck inside, <em>Reaper</em>."</p>
<p>Vincent growled in my ear in annoyance before dragging me over to the front of the lobby. From here, I could see police arriving and there were already news trucks parked along the side with various reporters. Cool. The media vultures got here before the cops did.</p>
<p>"Did you contact them?" Vincent squeezed on my throat.</p>
<p>"Does it—" I gasped and tried to pull his arm away to suck in air, "Does it <em>look</em> like I fucking called anyone!?"</p>
<p>Vincent let out a whistle and then began to drag me across the lobby again. I tried to use my feet to trip him up, but he just pulled me higher and that made it that much harder to breathe. I knew how to get out of this hold, but with the gun at my temple it complicated things. What if he shot me? That'd leave me either dead or unable to fight. Worse than that, what if he shot someone else? I tried not to think about Sal as Vincent pulled me toward down a hallway to where the back door was. How did he know this building so well?</p>
<p>A few of his goons followed us, but just like the front the back door was locked too.</p>
<p>"Shoot it." Vincent barked and his goons opened fire at the glass entrance. Tony had built his Tower well. All the glass was bullet proof, and his bullet proof glass was even stronger than I expected. Still, it could only withstand so much. After multiple rounds from the three goons with him, it cracked enough for them to shove through.</p>
<p>"<em>Let me go</em>." I yelled and tried to fight him as he dragged me through the shattered glass. There were no police at the back yet, but I was hopeful they'd be here soon. "You aren't getting away with this!"</p>
<p>"Oh, but I am." Vincent chuckled. He pulled the gun away from my temple to reach back in his coat pocket. I wondered what he was doing, but the thought was short lived when an explosion shook the ground and filled the air with noise and fire. The explosion hadn't been in the building, <em>thank God</em>, but it was nearby. "That's to keep the pigs busy. Now let's go, our car is parked on the curb, <em>doll</em>."</p>
<p>That was it.</p>
<p><em>That</em> was my breaking point.</p>
<p>"<em>Don't fucking call me that</em>." I snapped and let go of his arm to activate my gloves. Then I took a quick step forward, and pushed my other foot between his legs, then used my momentum to shove my shoulder into the opening and roll out of his grip. Vincent tried to tighten around me, but now I was facing him with my face pressed into his chest. I slammed my left hand into his side and activated the repulsor. With a loud whine, it went off in a flash of bright light. My ears were left ringing, but Vincent let out a loud cry of pain as he went flying backwards landing in a crumpled, moaning pile.</p>
<p>One nearby goon lifted his gun to fire, but another stopped him. Instead they all lunged at me. I sucked in a breath and focused on keeping them in front of me as I dodged their attacks. Like Tony had said, the pulse was a one hit wonder. The glove's repulsor was dark and the metal felt heavier for some reason.</p>
<p>I slammed my right fist into a goon's face and he immediately collapsed. The perks of a metal glove. Behind me, I could hear more goons walking through the broken glass. Rather than fight the next guy in front of me, I ducked under his arm and started running. They were after me. The further I got away from the Tower and other innocents the better. I cleared the henchmen, but a hand wrapped around my ankle and I hit the ground hard.</p>
<p>"<em>You dumb bitch</em>." Vincent growled, his hand still tightly wrapped around my ankle, "I was trying to play nice!"</p>
<p>I tried to kick him in the face with my other foot, but he caught it and lunged forward so most of his heavy body was on top of mine. The panic and adrenaline made my breaths come in quick as I tried to rock him off me to no avail. Vincent grabbed my throat, his body between my legs, and began to squeeze. Natasha's voice barked in my head.</p>
<p>
  <em>Calm down. Focus.</em>
</p>
<p>Black spots began to fill my visions, but I forced myself to take a moment and gather my bearings. Vincent's grin widened. I grabbed his left forearm with my right hand, then shoved my left hand against his right shoulder. Vincent chuckled, but his amusement died when I set my foot against his left hip and shoved with every ounce of power I had. The moment his body slipped down I used my right leg to wrap around his neck quickly followed by the left.</p>
<p>Vincent let out a grunt. He was on the ground now, his arm caught between my legs and my grip. I lifted my hips and yanked down on his arm hard. The sound of his elbow snapping and him screaming was honestly <em>music to my fucking ears</em>.</p>
<p>My small moment of victory was cut short when the butt of a rifle slammed into my face. Pain and shock washed over me and my grip on Vincent fell loose as I clutched at my face. <em>Don't pass out. Don't pass out. Don't pass out.</em> Someone kicked me hard in the side and I gasped in pain. A rough hand grabbed my face roughly and my blurry vision focused in on Vincent's angry face.</p>
<p>"I don't give a <em>damn</em> what he paid me." He growled. "He's getting you in <em>fucking</em> pieces for that."</p>
<p>I shook my head to try and wiggle out of the grip he had on my face. I got lucky, his grip slipped thanks to the blood dripping down my face, and I was able to open my mouth so I could bite down on the space between his thumb and pointer finger as hard as I could.</p>
<p>Vincent screamed in pain and ripped his hand away. I spat his blood at him, teeth bared, and he lifted his non broken arm to slam into my face. I flinched, but before it could make contact it froze in midair.</p>
<p>"<em>What the fuck!?"</em> Vincent barked and I noticed the white webbing wrapped around his forearm. He was suddenly yanked back and off me. I used the opportunity to roll back to my feet.</p>
<p>"Didn't your mom ever tell you not to hit girls?"</p>
<p>My gaze drifted up to where the red and blue hoodie hero was perched on top of a lamppost. Spiderman was here? I had seen him on the news all the time but seeing him in person was bizarre and... and why did his voice sound so familiar to me? A henchman beside me raised his gun, and I grabbed the end of it with my right hand. He fired and I felt the reverberation in my hand. <em>Holy shit</em>. Henchman guy looked at me in an equal amount of shock, but I slammed my left hand into his face and he collapsed to the ground.</p>
<p>Another goon tried to grab me, and I turned to fight him. There were about five guys around me. More shots fired, but I could hear Spiderman fighting and insulting the goons. I elbowed the guy in the face, and he went down like a sack of bricks.</p>
<p>"This <em>isn't</em> over." Vincent growled. A black SUV drove right up to us, brakes squealing, and Vincent was slowly backpedaling toward it. He glared at Spiderman who was literally standing on the back of one of his goons. "And I'm gonna make you wish you were never born, <em>you little freak</em>!"</p>
<p>"Bold of you to assume I don't already wish that!" Spiderman threw his hand out, but Vincent grabbed a henchman out of his car and threw him forward. The web Spiderman shot out hit him, and Vincent jumped into the SUV as it took off.</p>
<p>I took in a shaky breath. The adrenaline was starting to fade and that let the pain settle in. My head was throbbing, and it was a miracle my nose wasn't broken. Spiderman whipped around to look at me. His face was covered in a red ski mask and a pair of swim goggles. He coughed and spoke in a very obvious fake voice, "<em>Are you ok, ma'am?"</em></p>
<p>Familiar stature.</p>
<p>Familiar voice.</p>
<p>Familiar sense of humor.</p>
<p>
  <em>Jesus Christ. </em>
</p>
<p>I grabbed him by the hoodie, "<em>Peter</em>!?"</p>
<p>"I'm am<em> not </em>Peter Parker. Wait—<em>shit</em>, I mean, Peter? Who?"</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes at him, "What the <em>fuck</em>, kid?"</p>
<p>Peter looked over my shoulder and I could hear shouts. He held his hand up, "Aj, I'll explain everything later, but <em>please</em> you can't tell anyone!"</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to argue, but he took a running start and swung out of sight. My hands were shaking. Too much had happened in too little time. Someone was yelling behind me, but I couldn't even turn around. Hands wrapped around my shoulders and a man in uniform stepped into my line of vision. They were asking me if I was ok. Was I ok? I took in another shaky gasp and reality finally started to settle in.</p>
<p>"Sal." I cried out. "<em>Sal</em>!? I need to—He <em>needs</em>—"</p>
<p>The officer in front of me was starting to tilt, moving in odd, distorted shapes, and it took a second to realize it wasn't him doing that. It was my eyes. The officer was gone and instead I was staring at fast approaching concrete. Luckily, I was out before I even hit the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a bad day.</p>
<p>They used to happen every once in a while, but these days they seemed to happen every other day. A terrible nightmare would roll right into a hazy day. Sometimes, he would wake up and he wouldn't know who he was. Those were the worst kind of days. Ones where he spent most of his morning trying to get a grasp on his own reality.</p>
<p>
  <em>His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky to his friends. He was from… </em>
</p>
<p>Where was he from? The thought escaped him so he left it alone. Pushing would only frustrate him more. He continued to walk down the empty, dark street. It was nearly midnight. He should be back in the hole he was currently living in, but he didn't want to sleep yet. He found that if he went to bed on a bad day, without knowing who he was, he'd wake up in an even worse mood.</p>
<p>
  <em>His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky to his friends. He was from Brooklyn. He served in the 107th infantry. His best friend's name was…</em>
</p>
<p>His hands curled up into fists in his jacket pocket. Days like this reminded him of why he was out here in the first place. His mind was fractured. <em>Shattered</em>. Sure, there were times where he felt clarity. Moments in time where he felt like a normal human being, but these moments reminded him that he was not that. He was <em>not</em> a normal human being. He was a ghost of who he used to be. A monster in disguise.</p>
<p>
  <em>His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky to his friends. He was from Brooklyn. He served in the 107th infantry. His best friend's name was Steve Rogers.</em>
</p>
<p>A breath of relief released the tension from his shoulders. His name was Bucky. <em>He was Bucky</em>. He was Bucky and he was in control of who he was, of his actions. Bucky's feet continued to carry him down the street as he tried to hold on tight to the memories he had managed to surface. It was like he was drowning. Bucky felt like he was drowning, lost at sea, with no land in sight. He spent more time with his head under the water than above, but the small moments where he could remember his name, remember where he was from, remember his family… it was like his head had broken the surface and air was finally hitting his water logged lungs.</p>
<p><em>"—</em> <em>this just in, the Avengers—" </em></p>
<p>Bucky had passed a building selling televisions. They were all on and all playing different channels. The words were almost lost on him, but instead he found himself walking back to try and catch the sentence again. In the top left corner or the shop's window was a television playing a world news broadcast. The woman was American, but her words were being dubbed into Romanian.</p>
<p><em>"—</em><em>Police have swarmed the building, but witnesses have claimed that the unidentified man has dragged his hostage away from the front of Avengers Tower</em>."</p>
<p>His eyes narrowed as the news channel showed various videos of the front of a large building in New York. Police were everywhere and Bucky had zoned out of the woman's voice as she spoke. Any kind of news centered on the Avengers always made worldwide news. Even the littlest things. This wasn't the first time he had seen them across the sea like this.</p>
<p>A photo flashed in the corner. Dark hair pulled up into a ponytail, lips pulled back into a confused sneer and eyebrows scrunched up in question. Burning blue eyes. The identification picture they used in the news was one from a tabloid. He recognized it. The face was directed at Hawkeye, but the archer had been cropped out of the picture.</p>
<p>
  <em>His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky to his friends. He was from Brooklyn. He served in the 107th infantry. His best friend's name was Steve. And he recognized the face in this picture with ease. </em>
</p>
<p>There was no grasping for the memory. It sat at the forefront of his mind waiting to be accessed.</p>
<p>"Aj." He mumbled in shock. The hostage was <em>Aj</em>. He left her behind for the Avengers to take care of, and this was their response? He told her to pass his message to Steve. Steve was supposed to be looking out for her.</p>
<p>They played another video of a man with his arm wrapped around her throat and a gun held to her temple staring out the front of the building. He barked something at her, she snapped back, both sentences inaudible and too blurry too lip read, and then he was dragging her back again out of sight. It was the only video the news had so they played it on repeat. Something ugly and angry curled up in his gut at the sight of a weapon pressed to her temple.</p>
<p>Bucky was moving before the idea even completely formed in his mind. There was a small list of people in the area who owed him favors. He had collected them over the past two months. He'd cash every single one of them to fund the terrible idea he had in mind. The raw, survival side of him told him to let it go. That was the Avengers' problem. He couldn't though. He couldn't let it go. This bad idea would calm him enough to prevent an even <em>worse</em> idea.</p>
<p>But he had to know.</p>
<p>Bucky <em>had</em> to know.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When I woke up, I was being carried. After passing out they had taken me to the hospital as a precaution. The first time I had woken up it was in the ED with a doctor looking me over, and as much as I hated that, it was the perfect place to find out more about Sal. Paramedics had gotten to him in the nick of time. He went into emergency surgery. I remember waiting in a small room with Sal's younger sister and his husband. Both were people Sal had talked about, but this was the first I was meeting them. I couldn't even look them in the eye. It was my fault their loved one was fighting for his life.</p>
<p>"Aj? How do you feel, little one?" Thor asked.</p>
<p>He was the one carrying me. I recognized that now and I vaguely recognized the elevator we stood in. We were back in the Tower. I twisted in his arms, trying to loosen his grip, "No, I gotta go back to the hospital. <em>Sal</em>—"</p>
<p>"Your friend is doing well. He was moved to a private room in the care center. He had not woken up yet, but your healthcare workers were confident of his recovery." Thor replied, his hands tightened around me, "<em>Relax</em>."</p>
<p>I melted into his grip, too tired to fight the god of thunder, "How are you back already? I couldn't have been asleep that long."</p>
<p>"I flew ahead of the group. With Mjolnir, I am faster than their jet." Thor replied. "The others aren't far behind though. How do you feel?"</p>
<p>"<em>Woozy</em>." I replied. Right now, I wasn't in pain. There was just an empty feeling in my gut, a spinning sensation in my head, and cotton in my mouth. <em>Pain meds</em>. Someone had given me paid meds. "Who gave me meds?"</p>
<p>Thor began to walk again, "Before we left the care center, a nurse gave you a shot of something. Morphine? I believe that was what she called it."</p>
<p>"<em>Fuuuuuuuck</em>." I groaned and tried to keep my heavy eyes open, "I don't like meds."</p>
<p>"Without them, she said you'd be in pain. You were hit very hard."</p>
<p>"Pain is better than this." I mumbled. "Pain I get used to."</p>
<p>Thor chuckled and I felt him set me down onto a bed. I glanced around the room and it took me a second to connect the dots. He had carried me into the medical lab. I tried to sit up, but Thor lightly pushed me back down as he took the seat beside the bed.</p>
<p>"You should rest, Aj." Thor said. "The others wanted to call, but it might be best for you to sleep."</p>
<p>I didn't fight him on that just because I was too tired to. I hummed and closed my eyes, "How did the mission go?"</p>
<p>"It went well. No issues arose, but we were unable to locate the scepter."</p>
<p>"I don't know what the scepter is." I mumbled back.</p>
<p>"Loki used it when he attacked your world two years ago." Thor explained. I wondered if he knew this was probably confidential information he was giving me. Then again, with the amount of morphine the hospital put into my system I might not even remember this conversation. "It can shape the minds and hearts of men. Put them under the control of whoever wields it."</p>
<p>I nodded my head against the pillow, "Sounds dangerous."</p>
<p>"It is." Thor replied. He cleared his throat, "Aj, did you know the man who attacked you?"</p>
<p>"No." I forced my eyes open and met his concerned gaze. "Not exactly. Vincent Morgan. <em>Reaper</em>. He was the brother of the guy I used to work for."</p>
<p>"Ah, I see." Thor said and there was a pause in the conversation. He finally spoke up again with a sigh, "He slipped away. The authorities were unable to locate him."</p>
<p>That wasn't surprising news. Vincent Morgan didn't seem like the kind of guy that was going to be caught by the local police. He had resources. That much could be seen based off the number of men he brought with him and the explosives he had set off.</p>
<p>"Wait." I said trying to sit up again, but Thor stopped me with ease, "Peter. I need to talk to Peter?"</p>
<p>"The child?" Thor questioned.</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to reply, but my words came out as a garbled mess. My eyes grew heavy again and I sunk into my pillow. Just a little sleep. Just a little sleep and then I could talk to Peter.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The next time I woke up, I felt it. My head was throbbing and my face ached. I could also feel the swelling around my eyes. The butt of the gun had hit me dead center in the face. I was lucky it just busted the skin of the bridge of my nose open rather than breaking it entirely.</p>
<p>My eyes opened, but now I could feel the strain of opening them despite the swelling and bruising. Someone in my periphery moved and I glanced over to see Peter scoot closer to the bed. He grabbed my hand, "Aj? Are you ok? You look like you're in pain."</p>
<p>"I am." I groaned and sat up on one elbow. "Where's Thor?"</p>
<p>"He stepped out. He had JARVIS call me earlier, saying you wanted to see me." Peter explained. "Mrs. Jones wants you to call her later. She saw you on the news. Mj wants to hear from you too."</p>
<p>I nodded then flinched at the movement, "JARVIS, dim the lights please." The lights dimmed considerably and that helped my headache. Didn't take it away, but it was a step in the right direction. I turned back to Peter, "Dude, you're <em>Spiderman</em>?"</p>
<p>"Hah, what? <em>No</em>. I think you hit your head really hard, Aj. That's <em>crazy</em>."</p>
<p>I gave him a deadpanned stare, "Pete, I'm concussed, not stupid."</p>
<p>The kid sighed and glanced around. He came even closer and whispered, "Please you can't tell anyone, Aj. No one knows—except, you now, but please—"</p>
<p>"I won't, kid, I just…" I sucked in a sharp breath, "<em>How</em>?"</p>
<p>"I went to Oscorp with Mj to help her with her essay and…well…I got bit. By a spider. And it, you know, made me…<em>spider like</em>."</p>
<p>God, my new life was fucking weird.</p>
<p>I laid back down and pointed at him, "I need a minute or two to absorb all of that. And I'm sure once this headache passes, I'm gonna be pissed at you."</p>
<p>"Pissed at me?" Peter's eyes widened, "<em>Why</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>This is dangerous</em>!" I whispered back. "You're throwing yourself into fights. You faced down a group of <em>armed</em> gunmen with nothing but a hoodie and swim goggles on."</p>
<p>Peter pressed his lips together, "I <em>had</em> to, Aj. They were gonna hurt you."</p>
<p>I sighed, "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it. If it weren't for you, they probably would've gotten me, but… don't do something like that again, Pete. If you got hurt because of me…"</p>
<p>Damn, I couldn't even finish the sentence. I told Aunt May I'd look out for him. This kid was all she had in the world. It was bad enough my drama got Sal hurt. If something happened to Peter because of me? <em>God</em>, I didn't even want to think of the hypothetical situation. When I didn't have a major headache, I was gonna give him the scolding of a lifetime. Maybe I could convince him to hang up the hoodie for good.</p>
<p>"Mr. Stark and the other Avengers should be here soon." Peter changed the subject. "JARVIS says they're only half an hour out."</p>
<p>Good. I'd be nice to see them and make sure they really were ok after their mission. Although, I knew the mother hen in each of them was going to come roaring out. The ache in my face was starting to fade at a suspicious speed. I was good at acclimating, but not that good. I glanced to my other side and for the first time noticed an IV in my arm.</p>
<p>"Who the <em>hell</em> put an IV in me?" I asked, my words slurring.</p>
<p>"Oh, Mr. Stark called in a nurse to the medical lab. She put the IV in and checked your wounds again." Peter answered.</p>
<p>My eyes landed on the morphine pump attached to the IV. Oh, fuck not again. I groaned and my heavy head fell back against the pillow. My other hand lazily tried to pull on the IV, but Peter was quick to stop me.</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Pete, no more drugs."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Stop the—" My heavy eyes fluttered again. "<em>Fuck, drugs</em>."</p>
<p>Then I fell back into my drug induced haze.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve sat in the seat by the bed still in uniform. He had gone straight from the quinjet to this spot and hadn't moved since. Clint and Natasha were downstairs working with Sam trying to track down the man who did this. Bruce was flittering in and out of the medical lab checking up on her every once in a while. Tony had slipped out for a moment, but Steve had a feeling he'd be back in soon.</p>
<p>Aj looked rough. It reminded him of when they first met. Luckily, the wounds weren't nearly as bad as they were that time, but he hated seeing the ugly purple and yellow of bruises tainting her pretty skin. The swelling around her eyes had lessened, but they were still colored with bruises, like a racoon. The bridge of her nose had an open gash that had been cleaned up.</p>
<p>Steve rested his hand over his eyes in exhaustion. He was leaning on the medical bed wondering why it was so hard to keep this one woman safe. Bucky had told him to keep her safe for him and he really didn't think it'd be that hard of a promise to keep. Steve knew the life they lived had risks. He knew, realistically, that any mission could go wrong and he could lose his newly found family. Losing Aj though? She had never signed up for this life. If anyone deserved a normal, happy existence it was her. Why was that so hard to accomplish?</p>
<p>"<em>Captain Rogers</em>." His head snapped up to see Aj shooting him a tired smile. Seeing the color of her eyes was such a relief. Steve felt some of the tension in his body leave him. She chuckled, "My face hurts again. Guess that means I got taken off the morphine."</p>
<p>Steve nodded, "Peter told the nurse what you requested, and she took it off. Are you sure you don't want—"</p>
<p>"I <em>hate</em> meds." She groaned and sat up. Steve helped her by adjusting the bed so she had something to lean up against. "Makes my brain feel like static."</p>
<p>"Fair enough." He sighed. Steve shook his head, "You scared the shit out of us, Aj."</p>
<p>Aj shot him a side glance, "I didn't exactly plan to be taken hostage while you were out and about saving the free world, you know?"</p>
<p>Steve chuckled. He hadn't meant for it to sound like that. He nodded, "Right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I was—We were just…worried."</p>
<p>"I know. I was messing with you." Aj smirked. "I think the racoon eyes are hindering my comedic timing."</p>
<p>Steve let out another laugh. Hearing her crack jokes, period, was such a relief. Even once he knew she was ok, he couldn't fully relax. The flight back from Spain was painful for everyone stuck in that quinjet.</p>
<p>Aj suddenly reached forward and lightly brushed her fingers against his left eyebrow, "You got a boo-boo right here. You forget to duck?"</p>
<p>"Something like that." Steve replied. The bruise on his face had been bigger, but thanks to the serum it was nearly gone already. He wished he could give Aj just a little bit right now. Anything to get rid of those awful shiners. "We saw you on the news."</p>
<p>"Really?" Aj nodded, "JARVIS play me my TV debut."</p>
<p>"<em>Of course. If you plan to continue making appearances on television though, may I suggest a different career route to do so?"</em></p>
<p>JARVIS broadcasted the news clip on the wall beside them. The reporter was talking again with Aj's picture in the corner of the screen. He glanced down to his hands. Steve had seen that news reel too many times to count.</p>
<p>"<em>That's</em> the picture they used of me?" Aj cried. "Oh, <em>come on</em>. I look <em>awful</em>."</p>
<p>"I love that <em>that's</em> your biggest concern right now." Steve chuckled and looked back up. He waved his hand toward the video and JARVIS took it away. "How do you feel? Really?"</p>
<p>Aj shrugged, "My face hurts, but that's expected. I feel…"</p>
<p>Her words trailed off and Steve could see the pain flashing in her eyes. It was the kind of pain she took on that wasn't physical. He could make an easy leap to what it was about too. Steve reached forward and took her hand, "Sal is doing ok. He woke up."</p>
<p>"Good." Aj said, but her voice cracked. She cleared her throat. "Good. I'm glad."</p>
<p>"Sweetheart, you know this isn't your fault." Steve said firmly.</p>
<p>Aj nodded, her bottom lip quivered a bit before she bit down on it hard. He squeezed her hand and she relaxed, "I know. I just can't help but think…it's <em>my</em> past that hurt him. Sal had <em>nothing</em> to do with any of that. I told Vincent to put that damn gun on me but he just…"</p>
<p>Steve didn't like the fact that Sal got hurt in their Tower, but he also didn't like that Aj was so self-sacrificing. With their luck this wouldn't be the last time they were in a scenario like this and God did Steve wish she was just a little less brave. He loved her for her strength and courage, but that didn't stop him from being terrified.</p>
<p>He didn't think. He just pulled her hand up to his lips and pressed them softly to the back of her hand before setting it back down. Aj's eyes softened and she gave him a small, sad smile.</p>
<p>"I told them we should've brought you with us on the mission." Tony's voice called out. They both glanced over to see him stroll into the medical lab. His voice was all jokes, but Steve could see the rigidity in his frame. "Just leave you on the quinjet while we kick ass. They said no, that it'd just be trouble, but I knew… I <em>knew</em> you could get in just as much trouble here by yourself."</p>
<p>Aj grinned, "Some people can balance a spoon on their nose, I can attract the most dangerous figure in a nine-mile radius."</p>
<p>Tony walked closer and rested his hands on the frame at the foot of the bed, "How do you feel, sunshine?"</p>
<p>"Kind of like I got hit in the face with the butt of a rifle."</p>
<p>"Keep it up. I will lock you away to your floor for the rest of your GD life." Tony replied and though Aj laughed at the prospect, Steve knew he wasn't kidding. The man was a hair away from building a base on the moon just to keep Aj away from Earth bound dangers.</p>
<p>Aj shrugged, "Really. I'm fine. By the end of the week, all this—", She motioned to her face, "—will be better. Just a bad memory."</p>
<p>"Thank God." Steve voiced.</p>
<p>"I got to use some of the cool tricks Clint and y'all showed me." Aj glanced back at him. Then she nodded, "Nat would be proud of me too. I broke Vincent's arm with that one hold she taught me."</p>
<p>Steve grinned while Tony made a comment on it. Aj was in the process of being kidnapped and she still didn't stop fighting. It terrified him, yes, but by God he was proud too. Tony nodded once, "You bit him too? Good. Hopefully, he'll get rabies."</p>
<p>"<em>I'm not rabid</em>." Aj scoffed and Tony just shrugged. She shook her head with a small laugh, "Actually, that was kind of the point where I got saved. Spiderman swung in and helped me out. <em>Spiderman</em>."</p>
<p>Steve had only seen the hero on TV, but he was determined to find the guy just so he could send him a damned fruit basket. He had never been more thankful for a vigilante hero than he was right now. He glanced up to see Tony's eyes had narrowed at Aj with a small smirk that she stared back at with question.</p>
<p>"You know, don't you?" Tony said.</p>
<p>"I…don't know?" Aj replied back.</p>
<p>Tony grinned and shook his head, "Oh, no, no. <em>You know."</em></p>
<p>Steve watched Aj's eyes widen slightly, "How do <em>you</em> know that<em> I</em> know?"</p>
<p>"<em>I</em> know, that <em>you</em> know, because <em>I know</em>." Tony said back.</p>
<p>Steve blinked in confusion, "What the hell are you two talking about?"</p>
<p>"Nothing <em>you</em> need to know, Cap." Tony chuckled.</p>
<p>With a shake of his head, he let the topic drop as Tony and Aj shot knowing looks at each other in a silent conversation. While they argued with just their eyes, Steve watched Aj with her hand still held tightly in his. The mission had gone well, and Aj was safe. That was all he could ask for today.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>I had thought that the Avengers were paranoid before. Apparently, I hadn't even scratched the surface. For the next three days, they wouldn't let me leave a room by myself. I constantly had a Hawkeye, Black Widow, Iron Man, or Captain America shaped shadow. For a second, I thought Bruce was the only one with common sense and that's why he wasn't stalking me, but then I found out it was just because he thought the Hulk emerging wouldn't be as helpful as the others.</p>
<p>Clint had come with me when I interviewed the first applicant, Tony the second, but that was expected. Natasha had told me they wanted to be a part of that before I was nearly kidnapped. Steve came to the hospital with me to visit Sal, who, thank God, was doing amazing still. Even Sam, who had flown back up to New York after Steve went down to DC for mission work, lingered around me when we went out for dinner. As if he was expecting an incoming bullet that he'd have to throw himself in front of.</p>
<p>I think a part of the paranoia was that nobody had been able to track Vincent Morgan down. The Reaper had disappeared into the wind with a limp arm from his broken elbow. Then it only got worse when I revealed to them that he had told me that he knew the Avengers had left for Spain and that's why he attacked at that time. They lost their damned minds at that.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna go get some coffee." I said and stood up from the dining room table.</p>
<p>"Yum. Count me in." Clint stood up from the couch.</p>
<p>I groaned, "No. <em>Please</em>. Dear God, please. I want <em>two seconds</em> alone!" Clint held his hands out with a mock confused look. As if he had no idea what the hell I was talking about. I walked over to him and grabbed his hands, "Please. It's just the coffee shop around the corner."</p>
<p>"Aj—"</p>
<p>"Clint, I'm <em>begging</em> you." I replied. "I get it, everyone's on edge, but I'm not gonna get attacked three days after being attacked. The Reaper has to nurse his wounds a little longer than that."</p>
<p>Clint shook his head, "Someone else—"</p>
<p>"<em>Clint</em>." I said firmly. "I'm a grown ass woman asking if she can go grab a cup of coffee alone. That's already pathetic as is."</p>
<p>"We're just being cautious."</p>
<p>"I know, and I appreciate it." I gave him a tight smile, "But I need just a little room to breathe. If you let me go I promise I won't whine about gun training and you can time me. If I'm not back in an hour you can run down the street with your bow to get me."</p>
<p>He tilted his head in annoyance, but I could see him considering it. I had put up with a lot the past three days in an attempt to mollify them, but enough was enough. I understood that they were worried, and I understood that technically their worries were justified, but I needed a little room to breathe.</p>
<p>Clint sighed, "You have 30 minutes, and we start gun training as soon as you get back."</p>
<p>I threw my arms around him in a tight hug and then took off running to the elevator. I wanted every single second I could spare spent sitting at that coffee shop and just relaxing. Thanks to JARVIS it didn't take me long to get to the lobby and I took off running again. My feet slowed down when I caught sight of Sal's coffee stand. His employees were there working, but Sal was still in the hospital. It was a miracle he was alive, but all I could think of was that he got sucked into my shitty past.</p>
<p>He got shot because of me.</p>
<p>Nausea rolled over me again and I forced myself to start running again. The cold air outside settled my stomach and I jogged down the street avoiding the other New Yorkers who didn't even give me a passing glance. I was hardly the weirdest thing they've seen on the street I bet. It couldn't have taken me longer than 3 minutes to get to the coffee shop and another 3 to get my drink. I dropped down onto an outdoor patio chair and wrapped my hands around the hot to-go cup.</p>
<p>I closed my eyes and leaned my head back just soaking in the sounds of the city around me. I loved the others, but God it was nice to just enjoy the outside air by myself. This was my favorite past time on my off days before I met the Avengers. I let my thumb trace the ring of my lid where it could reach. It wasn't snowing today which had worked out in my favor. My mind drifted back to Vincent Morgan. He hinted that someone other than Boss was trying to get their hands on me, and for the life of me I couldn't think of who else would want me dead. Sure, I had pissed off a lot of people, but up till now I thought the only one I pissed off enough to want blood was Boss.</p>
<p>One of the Avengers' answers to this issue, other than stalking me, was learning to shoot. I had spent the last three days arguing with them on this point. The only time I had ever even touched a gun was when Bucky shoved one in my hands in that bunker hallway and since I was half blacked out, I didn't think it really counted. After watching my friend get gunned down by the Reaper…well, I didn't want a gun in my hands. It was unsettling. I understood why they wanted me to learn to shoot, seemed like a very helpful skillset, but it just made my skin crawl.</p>
<p>Movement in my direction made my eyes snap up from my cup just in time to see a large man making his way directly toward me. His dark features were furrowed into a glare. The thick winter pelts hanging off him along with his build and face made me immediately think he stepped off a plane straight from Russia and I tensed.</p>
<p>"Oh, God, not again." I mumbled and tried to push the patio chair I was in backwards. At this rate, the Avengers were going to duct tape me the wall and never let me out again. Nobody else around us seemed to notice my distress.</p>
<p>Before I could get up, the Russian pulled a brown paper bag out of his jacket and dropped it in front of me. In a thick accent he spoke, "I've been waiting for you to leave Tower. You make me wait too long. Tell him my debt is paid <em>in full</em>."</p>
<p>Then he just walked off. I glanced over my shoulder to watch him continue to walk until he was out of view. What the hell had that been about? Who did he owe a debt to and why was I involved in any sort of way? I spun back around quickly and stared at the bag like it was a severed head. Was this a bomb or something? Were more people going to pop out and attack me? I glanced all around me, but I couldn't spot anyone. I also didn't feel like anyone was watching me.</p>
<p>A sharp shrill ring made me nearly jump out of my skin. My eyes landed on the ringing bag. Cautiously, I opened the bag and pulled out its only content. It was a dark gray flip phone. The kind of old tech that would make Tony throw up just by being in its vicinity. It was ringing in my hand, the number on the small window unfamiliar to me.</p>
<p>Well, I wasn't dead yet.</p>
<p>I flipped it open and brought it to my ear, "<em>Hello</em>? Person who would like <em>not</em> to be murdered answering. May I ask who this is?"</p>
<p>A very familiar, deep chuckle came through the line and I felt my breath catch in my throat. I could feel my heart beating in my chest. No way. This wasn't happening. I must have been hallucinating. All those thoughts melted away when that same comforting, familiar voice finally spoke up.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey, doll</em>."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Can You Hear Me Now?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Another one a couple days early but I kind of want to get the Christmas chapter up around Christmas time lol? I don't think I'll do it since Christmas is episode 21, but as long as it's in the general timeframe I'll be happy lolol. Also, again, side note, I am branching away from canon which is why Spiderman is already on scene and why a few little things are different. You'll notice it when you see it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>                                                                </p>
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<p>
  <em>"you can't forget someone when you're still hoping for them to come back." –j.b. [will i ever stop hoping?]</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>"Hey, doll."</em>
</p>
<p>I wasn't breathing. This wasn't happening. Maybe I had a brain bleed? The doctor had cleared me from getting hit in the face with a gun, but hey, maybe they missed something. That was the only logical explanation as to why I was talking to a missing man that multiple agents of SHIELD still couldn't find.</p>
<p>"Did I leave you speechless?" He said with another chuckle.</p>
<p>"<em>Tos</em>— <em>James Buchanan Barnes</em>?" I gasped.</p>
<p>He hummed over the line, "It makes sense that you would know my real name now."</p>
<p>Suddenly, my mind connected the dots to what was currently happening. I scoffed and gripped the phone tighter, "Yeah! <em>Yeah, I do</em>! No thanks to you, <em>Toska</em>." I heard him chuckle, but I kept going, "What the <em>hell </em>would you have done if I got the word <em>Toska</em> tattooed on my <em>forehead</em> only to find out your <em>damn</em> name is—"</p>
<p>I stopped myself before shouting out his name.</p>
<p>"Sorry. I didn't mean to lie to you, I just…It was nice meeting someone who didn't know who I was. Got caught up in it, I guess."</p>
<p>"That's… fair, I guess." I grumbled. "James—"</p>
<p>"<em>Bucky</em>." He corrected quickly. Despite using the name Bucky with Steve, I didn't plan on calling him that to his face just because it didn't seem polite? I don't know. I figured James had been a safe bet.</p>
<p>"Bucky." I repeated. "How is…<em>How</em> is this happening? The scary Russian guy? He said his debt to you is fulfilled?"</p>
<p>"I didn't mean to scare you. He's a guy that owed me. I gave him a little help a few weeks back. He's been waiting outside the Tower for you to step out alone."</p>
<p>I leaned back in my seat, "If it were up to the Avengers that would've been, uh, <em>never</em>." There was a beat of silence before I spoke again, "Why now? Why reach out to me at all? Shouldn't you be reaching out to someone like Ste—"</p>
<p>"I tried to forget you." Bucky replied. The words shouldn't have meant anything to me, but I frowned at them, nonetheless. "Figured it'd be safer, but…I saw you on the news."</p>
<p>I groaned, "Oh, God, that <em>awful</em> picture of me made <em>worldwide news</em>?"</p>
<p>"You looked good, doll."</p>
<p>"You're only saying that because the last time you saw me I was an <em>amorphous</em>, <em>bleeding</em>, <em>blob</em> of a person." I said and he laughed over the line. Hearing his voice, his laugh, was a relief. He sounded ok. He sounded <em>safe</em>. Sometimes a word or a feeling would put me back into that dark hellhole of a bunker and I'd feel like I was freezing from inside out. Bucky's voice put me back there, but not in a negative light. Instead, I remembered the warmth of his smile and how I clung to that when my body screamed of nothing but pain. "Bucky, I miss you."</p>
<p>I hadn't meant to blurt that out. He must have been equally as shocked because I heard the soft intake of a breath. It was silent for another beat before he spoke, "Are you ok, Aj? Are you safe?"</p>
<p>"I am." I replied then followed it up with, "Steve misses you too."</p>
<p>"Aj, I have to go—"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>!" I shouted and ignored the glances that looked over at me. I shook my head, "Please, no, don't hang up. I'm sorry. <em>I'm sorry</em>, I won't mention that again. Please…<em>Please</em> don't hang up."</p>
<p>He sighed, "I just needed to make sure you were ok. The news said you were taken to the hospital, but I hadn't caught an update."</p>
<p>"I—I passed out on the scene, and then I stayed in the hospital for a bit because a friend of mine got hurt." I tried to explain. Sal was truly doing better, but he was still in the hospital for observation. "The guy that tried to kidnap me was the brother of the guy who sold me to Vladimir." I heard Bucky mumble something in another language and based on the tone it was probably a curse. "He shot my friend…"</p>
<p>"Is your friend ok?"</p>
<p>I nodded despite being on a phone, "Yeah. He's doing better. Steve or Tony usually go with me to visit him in the hospital. I'll go again later today."</p>
<p>"You know that isn't your fault?" Bucky said firmly. I hadn't stated what I thought, what I still felt, but he must have heard it in my tone. He spoke again, just as firmly, "The only person to blame is the guy who pulled the trigger. That isn't on you, doll."</p>
<p>I chuckled and leaned my hand into the palm of my hand, which was now starting to freeze from the cold, "The asshole called me '<em>doll'</em> so I broke his elbow."</p>
<p>Bucky let out another warm laugh, "Good. He deserved worse than that, but I'm glad you're ok."</p>
<p>"What time is it…wherever you are?"</p>
<p>"It's…late." Bucky said. Apparently giving me an exact time would be too much of a risk. "It's early afternoon in New York isn't it?"</p>
<p>I nodded again, "Yeah. I'm at a coffee shop getting some alone time. Alone time I'm almost out of actually…"</p>
<p>"You're really out in the city <em>alone</em>?" Bucky asked sharply.</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "<em>Listen</em>, I already got the lecture from the crew. Clint's given me 30 minutes out on my own. Plus, the only reason I got this phone was <em>because</em> I was out alone!" Bucky mumbled something that sounded like he was reluctantly agreeing with my point. I chuckled, "As soon as I get back, he's gonna try and teach me how to shoot a gun."</p>
<p>"That's a great idea. You should know how, and you should carry one on you at all times."</p>
<p>"Bucky…" I started. I wanted to try and plead with him to come back to New York. It would be a way to help him and help Steve. It was a win-win-win situation. We'd all be happy. The words drifted through my head, but I remembered his reaction when I told him that Steve missed him. I swallowed the words, "I have to go. I don't want Clint to show up here and ask questions about the dinosaur of a phone I'm using."</p>
<p>Bucky sighed, "Right. Yeah, of course. Aj, please don't tell—"</p>
<p>"I know." I replied. "Secret's safe with me, <em>Toska</em>." He let out a chuckle, but it didn't sound as happy as the ones before it. There was a tense pause before I threw out my last lifeline. "Bucky, can we…" He waited for me to finish and I nervously swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Can we talk again? I know you said you wanted to forget me, and I know you'll probably say something like '<em>it's too dangerous'</em>—"</p>
<p>"It <em>is</em> dangerous."</p>
<p>"But, I…Please?" I begged. "<em>Please</em> can we talk again? Same time tomorrow?"</p>
<p>Another pause, this one the worst of all because I knew how easily he could slip away. I could hear Bucky mentally planning an escape route through the phone. All he'd have to do is hang up, snap his phone, and then he'd be gone again.</p>
<p>"Same time tomorrow." He agreed.</p>
<p>I released a breath I hadn't known I had been holding, "Great. Yes. I, uh, I'm looking forward to it! I'll tell you all about how terrible my shooting lesson is gonna go today."</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled, the humor and warmth was there again, "Talk to you tomorrow, doll."</p>
<p>The line cut off and I pulled the phone away from my ear to smile at the small, thick, gray device. I shoved it into my jacket pocket and for a minute I just sat there grinning at myself. Bucky was ok. He was ok. I hated that I couldn't tell Steve that. Bucky had asked me not to, and I would never betray his trust. In the long run though, it would work out because I planned on getting Bucky to come back to New York. Even if it was the last thing I did.</p>
<p>I'd get Bucky home to Steve.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Clint was honestly surprised by how well Aj was handling this. He knew she was the kind that absolutely <em>hated</em> to be smothered with every fiber of her being. So, the fact that she had gone three days with nothing more than a few exasperated looks was a damned miracle. Clint also knew that him and the others were being a bit…<em>overbearing</em>. Honestly, they couldn't help it. Their biggest fear was losing one another, but at least they could trust that their family was well-trained, well-armed, and capable of protecting themselves. Clint didn't have to worry about anyone kidnapping Natasha. He was more concerned for any idiot dumb enough to try and kidnap Natasha.</p>
<p>Aj was a good fighter. Hell, she was downright impressive for someone who never had training at their level. For someone who walked off the street and picked up what him and Natasha taught her, she was amazing. She was not, however, at the skill level that would put any of their minds to rest. Aj was just good enough at fighting to piss off anyone who tried to take her and <em>that was it</em>. Case in point, she snapped that dickhead's elbow in half, nearly bit a hole in his hand, and probably broke some ribs from the sonic pulse she slammed into his chest, but he had still been walking. If Spiderman hadn't swung in, she would've been taken away by a very dangerous, very <em>angry</em> villain. It made all of them realize that what they were doing wasn't enough. They were going to crack down on her training schedule because like hell they were going to lose her to the villain of the week. Not on Clint's life.</p>
<p>"Why are you even down here? Don't you have a Compound to design?"</p>
<p>"Well my PA is down here—"</p>
<p>"Uh, excuse you, I was promoted to <em>Public Relations Officer</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Officer</em>? I <em>didn't</em> use the word officer."</p>
<p>"I can't exactly use the word expert since that I am not."</p>
<p>Clint chuckled and walked out of the gun closet back into the gun range. The Tower's lower basement stored the arc reactor that gave this entire building power, but the upper basement had a fully equipped gun range. Aj was sitting on the counter with Tony leaning against the divider beside her. Since she had come back from her little coffee trip, the girl was nothing but smiles. The bright grin she wore hadn't left her features once yet.</p>
<p>"You shooting with us, Stark?" Clint asked.</p>
<p>Aj snickered, "Tony knows how to shoot?"</p>
<p>That started a whole new argument between the two. Clint shook his head and set the weapons he had grabbed on the counter beside Aj.</p>
<p>Tony scoffed, "I designed weapons for the military, and you think I can't shoot?"</p>
<p>"Sorry." Aj rolled her eyes. Clint tapped her thigh and she jumped off the counter. "Lemme rephrase… Tony, do you know how to shoot <em>well</em>?"</p>
<p>Clint grabbed the top of Aj's head and spun her around to face him before the two could get into another battle of wits. He motioned to the gun in front of her and her eyes widened. He continued, "Have you ever shot a weapon before?"</p>
<p>"Nope." She popped her 'p' casually.</p>
<p>"Figured." Clint replied, "Today we're starting with the AR-15—"</p>
<p>Aj pointed to the rifle, "This thing? It's <em>huge</em>!"</p>
<p>"<em>That's what she—"</em> Tony began but Aj elbowed him without breaking eye contact with Clint. He wheezed out a laugh and nodded.</p>
<p>Clint shook his head. Maybe he should kick Tony Stark out of here before trying to teach her to shoot. He was going to be nothing but a distraction and that was coming from <em>Hawkeye</em>. He picked up the weapon, "This is a <em>baby</em> gun, Aj."</p>
<p>"<em>Baby gun</em>? How is this a <em>baby gun</em>?"</p>
<p>"They only get bigger and badder from here." Clint shrugged.</p>
<p>Aj pouted, "I thought you were gonna teach me to shoot like a pistol or whatever."</p>
<p>"I will." Clint nodded. "But I want you to be good at all of them. What happens when a bad guy drops a weapon but it's one you've never practiced shooting before? Then what, Aj?"</p>
<p>"Uh, I <em>die</em>?"</p>
<p>Tony scoffed and Clint shook his head at her. He stepped forward, using his foot to kick out hers so her stance was a bit wider. Clint put the AR-15 into her hands and helped her get her grip correct. He even readjusted the buttstock for her so it rested comfortably against her shoulder.</p>
<p>"Can't I just keep punching people?" Aj asked with pleading eyes.</p>
<p>"You know that saying, '<em>Don't bring a knife to a gun fight?</em>'" Clint replied and she nodded. He smirked, "Well bringing your <em>fists</em> to a gunfight is fucking worse. Now focus."</p>
<p>Aj was a quick learner, she was smart, so getting her familiar with the weapon was easy. She now knew every bell and whistle that came with the gun, and if you looked at her she would look like a pro. Problem was, she couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.</p>
<p>"You're <em>shit</em> at this." Clint said. If Tony made a comment on her he didn't catch it. Rather than put on protective gear, he just flipped off his hearing aids.</p>
<p>Aj yanked down her noise cancelling earmuffs, so they hung around her neck, and then turned to face him. She took one hand off the gun so she could sign the phrase '<em>fuck you'</em>, and rather than using the shorthand of it she signed each individual letter to him with emphasis. Clint lifted his hand and activated his aids again.</p>
<p>"—did you see how I hit my target <em>every time</em>?" Tony teased.</p>
<p>"What the hell am I doing wrong!?"</p>
<p>"<em>Everything</em>." Clint shook his head.</p>
<p>Aj snapped her gaze back to him, "You're the one who taught me!"</p>
<p>Clint chuckled, "I put you in the right position, but you're just making rookie mistakes. Don't jam your finger on the trigger, make it an even pull. You're flinching too, and that's pulling the barrel. This is just stuff you'll get better at with practice." Aj grumbled under her breath and he chuckled and clapped her once on the shoulder, "I'll be back. Tony is in charge."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"<em>Hah</em>!"</p>
<p>Clint left the two of them in the gun range and assumed they'd have the self-control to not delve into a fight around firearms. It kind of felt like leaving two toddlers in a kitchen alone with knives and boiling water on the stove. It wasn't often Clint felt like the adult of the situation. This was nice. He rode the elevator all the way up to the penthouse. Bruce had a lecture today at some university, Steve was in DC with Sam, but Natasha was still here.</p>
<p>He could see her bright red hair through the glass wall of the Conference room. Clint jogged up the stairs and walked into the room only to be met by various screens up and running looking for the infamous Reaper. They had found trails of him in Las Vegas going back a little over twenty years. Vincent Morgan was a big-time drug dealer in the city of sin who had his hand in nearly every trade there was. The guy had a monopoly on the Vegas drug scene and that pulled in a hell of a lot of cash. Enough that he hadn't had to get his hands dirty. There was no criminal file on him. Anytime the authorities got close, someone else took the fall for him.</p>
<p>"Find anything new?" Clint asked.</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head. Her hands were buried in the hoodie pocket that she wore. The hoodie that definitely belonged to Steve based on the size. Clint walked closer and set his chin on her shoulder with one arm around her waist. Natasha responded by pulling one hand out of the hoodie to reach back and cup his face.</p>
<p>"He disappeared. I know he had sources, but they wouldn't be capable of hiding from us to this extent." She hummed in frustration.</p>
<p>Clint clenched his jaw, "So that confirms it?"</p>
<p>"It doesn't confirm it, but…" Natasha paused, "It doesn't look good."</p>
<p>The main theory was that Vincent Morgan, aka the Reaper, was working with HYDRA. It explained why he was able to escape so easily and how he knew that the Avengers had been in Spain. Nobody liked this theory though because it meant for some Godforsaken reason, HYDRA knew Aj existed. Now maybe, they weren't related? Maybe Vincent Morgan was working with HYDRA for some other reason and just used their resources to exact a little revenge for his baby half-brother.</p>
<p>They were never that lucky though.</p>
<p>"If anything, HYDRA sees her potential as a possible inhuman." Natasha thought aloud. "Von Strucker is playing around with enhancements on normal humans. Maybe he wants to try on an inhuman who hasn't been through terrigenesis. It's hard to find that and Aj is their best bet."</p>
<p>Clint sighed and shifted so his face was buried in Natasha's shoulder. He wondered if they were at fault for this. By bringing Aj into their lives had they shed light on her potential for HYDRA to see? Her life before had been terrible, and Clint hated thinking about her living in that shit hole again, fighting for less than nothing, while being tortured by a prick named Eugene. As Godawful as all that was though, it was a walk in the park compared to anything HYDRA would do to her.</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck, Tash</em>." Clint mumbled against her.</p>
<p>"I know." Natasha buried her fingers in his hair, "I know."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The applicant's name was Beth Whitmore. She was a couple years younger than me with long, light brown hair and round hazel eyes. Her round face made her look even younger than she was, and if I had to pick a word to describe her based off the fifteen minutes I've known her it would be meek. Beth was the last of the applicants I was interviewing. She had met Natasha and I for an early lunch at a small café down the street from the Tower.</p>
<p>I rolled my sore shoulders. No one told me I was going to be sore from all the shooting I did yesterday. Quickly, I cleared my throat, "What kind of stuff do you like to do for fun, Beth?"</p>
<p>"I really enjoy reading, I'm a romantic at heart I guess, and I paint too." Beth answered with a small smile. I had told her the interview wouldn't be overly formal so she wore a colorful, long sleeve shirt with an overall skirt over it. I didn't know how she wasn't cold. Granted she wore stockings under the skirt with boots, but still. "I've always enjoyed being creative. I think that's why I picked public relations."</p>
<p>Natasha quirked an eyebrow at her, "Really? How so?"</p>
<p>Under the redhead's gaze, I could feel Beth sweating. Natasha as per usual looked like a model in the casual day outfit she picked, and her green eyes certainly knew how to <em>bore</em> into someone. Beth cleared her throat, "Well, uh, it's like getting to be creative with someone's life, you know? In this day and age, <em>everything </em>is online. Everyone has an online identity. Being in public relations allows me to… well, to put it simply, <em>paint </em>their identity to the world."</p>
<p>I glanced down at the iPad she had brought with her, it had been a minute and a half since I saw an Apple product rather than a Stark one, and looked over the app she had opened. Beth had her own Instagram page open for us to see. She used it as a kind of advertisement of her skills. The girl did good work on Instagram. I'd follow her. If I had an Instagram, that is.</p>
<p>"Um, the key aspect I used in making my Instagram page was using reality to my benefit." Beth motioned to the iPad. "For example, if I was working with the—<em>the Avengers</em>", she chuckled to herself with a blush, "I'd want to showcase pictures of behind the scenes moments. Relaxing at home, getting dinner…things that humanize them to the world."</p>
<p>"I like that." I smirked with a nod and Beth beamed at the praise. This kid was downright adorable. She began to ramble about her lack of experience because of how she just got out of school when a shrill ring cut through the air. My eyes widened as Natasha looked over at me. I quickly stood, "Hey, I'm gonna take this call."</p>
<p>"Did you change your ringtone?" Natasha questioned.</p>
<p>"Just spicing up my life, Nat." I turned to Beth, "Excuse me a second."</p>
<p>Beth nodded and I hurried away from the table so I would be out of Natasha's prying eyes. I pulled the black and gray phone out of my pocket and smiled. Same time as yesterday. Quickly, I flipped it open, looking like a 90's drug dealer on this thing, and held it up to my ear, "<em>Bucky</em>?"</p>
<p>"Afternoon, doll."</p>
<p>"I'm glad you called. I know you said you would, but I just…" I chuckled, "<em>I'm glad."</em></p>
<p>Bucky spoke, "I'm a man of my word. When I remember, at least."</p>
<p>"Comforting." I replied. "How was your day? I know you're probably at the end of it now compared to me."</p>
<p>"It was good." Bucky cleared his throat, "The same as always. How'd shooting lessons go?"</p>
<p>I groaned and he chuckled at my expense, "According to Clint and Tony, I am the <em>worst</em> shot this world has ever seen. Which is a gross overstatement in my opinion, but yeah, I do kinda suck at it."</p>
<p>"Just takes practice is all."</p>
<p>"That's what they said." I grumbled. "Punching people in the face is just <em>so much easier</em>. If I, very politely, ask the bad guys to put their guns down and fight me like a <em>man</em>—"</p>
<p>"Yeah, they'd shoot you, doll."</p>
<p>"I was afraid you'd say that." I sighed in good nature. "Can you comfort me? Tell me how when you got your start in the military you were bad at it too?"</p>
<p>"No, I was perfect immediately." Bucky replied with a chuckle and I laughed. "That's what I was known for. Perfect hair, perfect shot."</p>
<p>I laughed again and remembered he had been some kind of sniper or something. Granny reminded me of this fact because these days all she talked about was Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, and I still didn't pay enough attention to it.</p>
<p>"Granny did tell me you were like some super sniper."</p>
<p>"Granny?"</p>
<p>I grinned while talking about her, "She was my foster mom when I was an angry, bloodthirsty teenager. The only person who gave a shit about me. I lost touch with her for a little less than a decade, but we reconnected."</p>
<p>"I'm glad. Sounds like a kind woman."</p>
<p>I nodded, "She is. She's a history nut. Kind of obsessed with you and Steve. She thinks you're the <em>bee's knees</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky barked out a laugh, "High praise. Smart woman too."</p>
<p>"Well, I don't know how smart she is for putting up with my dumbass for all the years she has." I replied. "She's either dumb or a glutton for punishment."</p>
<p>"I think you're selling yourself short, doll."</p>
<p>I shook my head and leaned against the wall I was hiding behind, "Don't distract me. You were supposed to give me tips on how not to shoot badly, Mr. Sniper."</p>
<p>"I don't got anything to tell you other than practice." Bucky replied. I liked when he said longer sentences because it's when his Brooklyn accent would really come out full throttle, "You know how fighting comes natural to you?"</p>
<p>"Yeah."</p>
<p>"That's shooting for me." Bucky replied. "When I joined the 107th, my commander saw potential. He gave me a chance, and…I guess the rest is history."</p>
<p>A flash of red across the café had me ducking down, "Shit, Nat is looking for me."</p>
<p>"I'll let you go." Bucky said in a tired voice.</p>
<p>"But you'll call again tomorrow right? Or... Can I call you?"</p>
<p>Bucky let out a sad chuckle, "You can <em>always</em> call me, doll. If you ever need anything."</p>
<p>"So, we can talk again tomorrow? Hopefully for longer?"</p>
<p>"Why…Why do you wanna keep talking to me?" Bucky asked, but there was something in his voice that sounded suspiciously like fear. It was almost like he was afraid to hear my answer and I didn't understand why.</p>
<p>I glanced over the wall again before speaking, "That's a silly question. It's because I <em>wanna</em> talk to you." Then a thought hit me. I wanted to talk to him because I liked talking to him and because I was hoping to sway him into coming home. But maybe I was bothering him? That wasn't my intent at all. "I mean, it's okay if <em>you </em>don't wanna talk, Bucky, I'm not trying to<em> twist your arm</em>—"</p>
<p>"No, that's not it at all." Bucky said quickly. "I'd love to talk to you again."</p>
<p>"Good. Talk to you tomorrow then?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Bye, doll. Have a good day."</p>
<p>"Night, Bucky."</p>
<p>I hung up the phone and slid it back into my jacket pocket. When I turned around the wall to head back, I had to force myself to come to a screeching stop in order not to collide into Natasha. She was smirking at me in her very, all-knowing way.</p>
<p>"<em>Nat</em>!"</p>
<p>She motioned to me, "How was your phone call?"</p>
<p>"Good. <em>Tony</em>. You know how it is, he never shuts the hell up." I chuckled and began to walk around her. She fell into step with me. "Is Beth still there?"</p>
<p>"Yes. I just wanted to check up on you." She replied.</p>
<p>I clapped my hands and motioned for us to get back. I really, really hoped she hadn't heard me talking to Bucky. I told him I wouldn't tell them about him, and I wasn't planning on messing that up. When we got to the table, I quickly sat down and shot Beth a grin, "Hey, I'm sorry about that. Where were we?"</p>
<p>Like the other interviews, I bought Beth lunch while we continued to talk. By the end of it all, I realized I liked her, but I wasn't fully sold. The second interview with the Black-Eyed Peas guy had been really good. I wasn't going to be his best friend anytime soon, but he seemed knowledgeable in this arena.</p>
<p>"It was really great to meet you, Beth." I shook her hand after Natasha had done the same.</p>
<p>Beth gave me another smile and brought her other hand on top of the one she was shaking, "Thank you so much for this opportunity. I'm honored to even make it this far! I know I have <em>zero</em> experience on this, but I just want to say that—that I'm a <em>hard worker</em> and a <em>quick learner</em>. I promise you'll always get 110% from me."</p>
<p>The last-minute little speech reminded me a lot of the one I gave to Pepper what felt like ages ago. It was hard to make your own place in the world and girls like us had to stick together, right? A small smile slid onto my face, "Thanks, Beth. I'll call you and let you know our decision regardless."</p>
<p>Beth gave me one more bright smile before leaving. Natasha hooked her arm through mine as we began to walk back on the path to the Tower, "You're going with her, aren't you?"</p>
<p>"Was I that transparent?"</p>
<p>"I just know you well, Aj." Natasha smirked. "You see yourself in her."</p>
<p>"Maybe. Plus, it'd be easy for us all to get along with her."</p>
<p>Natasha nodded, "I agree. Better than interview applicant number three."</p>
<p>"Preach, sister."</p>
<p>She wasn't bringing up the topic of Bucky and I hoped that meant I had gotten away with it. If she didn't call me on it, I wasn't going to press further. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth and all that.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony was so used to watching everyone, including him, mother Aj that he realized he had never actually seen her in full blown '<em>mother hen'</em> mode, as she called it. It was interesting. It also left him with not much to do. He leaned against his lab table while Aj went into minute 12 of her lecture/rant. Tony had invited Peter over for science hour, but it had actually been an intervention of kinds. Aj was determined to get the kid to hang up his hoodie. Tony knew it wouldn't work, but it was fascinating to watch nonetheless.</p>
<p>"—and <em>another</em> thing, you should be focused on school." Aj slapped her hand into the palm of her other hand while Peter's frown deepened. "You're a <em>kid genius</em>, Pete. An absolute genius on par with Tony Stark—"</p>
<p>"<em>Well</em>—"</p>
<p>"Shut up, Tony." Aj didn't miss a beat. "You're going to do <em>amazing</em> things one day, but none of that is gonna happen if you get <em>shot</em> in some <em>alley</em>!"</p>
<p>Peter shook his head, "Aj, you don't get it—"</p>
<p>"No, I do!" Aj replied sharply. This lecture was taking a sudden turn into very emotional territory and Tony was prepared to step in. "Peter, I used to be smart too! I wasn't a kid genius, <em>nowhere near it</em>, but I <em>loved </em>school. I <em>loved</em> learning, and I wanted to succeed it in, but instead I threw myself into <em>fight after fight</em>—"</p>
<p>Tony stepped forward and set his hand on her forearm, "<em>Aj</em>."</p>
<p>Aj yanked her hand away from him and set both of her hands on Peter's shoulders, nothing but absolute desperation in her voice, "Pete, <em>no one stopped me.</em> Granny tried, she did her best and just like you I had excuses, but I didn't have someone as stubborn as me to put their foot down." She squeezed his shoulders. "Don't throw away your future because you think you have no choice. Because you do, Pete. There's <em>always</em> a choice."</p>
<p>Peter steeled his features and raised his hands to rest on her wrists, "I know, Aj, and I appreciate it. I promise I'll stay focused on school too, I won't slack off, but… I <em>need</em> to do this. I need to."</p>
<p>Tony saw Aj's face fall. He cleared his throat, "Why, Pete? Why do you think you need to do this?"</p>
<p>He knew the answer to this already. The general idea of it, at least. He had seen it in the kid on day one. It was the same kind of dumb, do-good, chaotic energy that fueled nearly every single Avenger.</p>
<p>"My Uncle died in the Battle of New York." Peter sucked in a sharp breath. "He was a firefighter and he responded to the emergency and he…he didn't come back." There was a beat of silence and Tony could feel the aching pain radiate off Aj. "Uncle Ben taught me something though. He lived it until his very last moment. He always said that if I could help someone, <em>if I had the ability to make a difference</em>, then it was my <em>responsibility</em> to do it." Peter shook his head firmly. "I have that ability now. That means, if I sit back and do <em>nothing</em> while the bad things happen…then those bad things happen <em>because</em> of me."</p>
<p>The words settled in the silence around them, and he could see Aj being torn between pride and anger and defeat. Tony figured now would be a good time to showcase his newest project.</p>
<p>"JARVIS, bring up the '<em>Itsy Bitsy Spider'</em> designs."</p>
<p>Screens flew up in front of him and he expanded them so Peter and Aj could look. The moment he made the connection between Spiderman and Peter he had started on this project. It wasn't hard to figure it out. The kid was a genius, but he was no super spy. In fact, he was the exact opposite of a super spy. Tony found it funny that he knew two spiders, one was the definition of deceit, disguises, and quick thinking while the other was a naïve, innocent, baby faced kid who could pick up a bus and throw it down main street.</p>
<p>Side note, he also knew two birds, one was a trash fire hobo that would stick an IV line of coffee into his arm if Bruce wasn't constantly stopping him and the other was a veteran therapist little shit. His life was funny that way.</p>
<p>"Is that—Is that a<em> suit</em>?" Peter's eyes widened.</p>
<p>"Yupp. The hoodie is a little pathetic."</p>
<p>"I worked hard on that." Peter pouted.</p>
<p>Tony began to point out different features he had planned like bullet proofing, an emergency parachute, an in-suit heater, and various other lifesaving tools. He made sure to look Aj directly in the eye when saying some of them. He knew it would put her at ease.</p>
<p>"Any suggestions? Things about your <em>spiderling powers</em> I don't know about?" Tony questioned. Peter nodded, opening his mouth to speak, but Tony motioned to an empty screen, "Start jotting it down. We'll work on it today."</p>
<p>Peter quickly went to work, and Tony pulled Aj away from him with a soft smile. Aj twisted her lips and crossed her arms across her body, "I like the suit idea, but I still think he should just retire early."</p>
<p>"If 15-year-old you was given superpowers and the ability to protect your world, what would you have done?" Tony raised an eyebrow at her.</p>
<p>Aj huffed, "I would've thrown myself into any criminal activity I could find, but Tony I am <em>not</em> a role model. We should <em>not</em> be basing his choices of what I would do."</p>
<p>"He's a good kid that just wants to help the world." Tony replied.</p>
<p>"How are you ok with this? This is insane. <em>He's a baby</em>."</p>
<p>Tony nodded, "I know, but I also know he's gonna do this regardless. I would rather have a hand on the steering wheel of this car rather than watch it careen off the road while I stand on the sidewalk." He motioned behind him where the kid was still diligently working. "This is how we keep him safe, Aj."</p>
<p>She sighed, but he could see she understood his words. Aj poked him in the chest once, "Fine, but you get that suit done quick. The faster he's out of that <em>damn</em> hoodie the better I'll feel." Aj rubbed her face in exhaustion. "I told Amber and May that I would keep an eye on their kids. Mj is easy. She goes to debate club and sasses me over texts. Peter on the other hand…"</p>
<p>"Ah, the joys of parenthood." Tony wrapped his arm around her shoulder.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna have Nat teach him some stuff. She'd do that right?"</p>
<p>"She'd do anything for you. <em>Literally</em>. You could ask her to murder someone and she wouldn't even ask questions." Tony replied. He nodded once, "That is a good idea though. Have mama spider teach baby spider how to work the web."</p>
<p>Aj pulled away from him, "Ok, I gotta go call the applicants and tell them who got the job."</p>
<p>"Oh, you picked someone?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, a girl named Beth Whitmore." Aj replied. "She's got SHIELD and Nat's seal of approval and I like her."</p>
<p>Tony smirked, "Good. Have her start after New Year, yeah?"</p>
<p>"Duh. I'm gonna spend the next two weeks learning what this job even is and how to be a boss." Aj scoffed.</p>
<p>Today was Monday and next Thursday was Christmas. Time had flown by since Aj got here. He knew she was working on Christmas dinner plans much like she had done for Thanksgiving, but Christmas was usually easier. Tony still had to finish planning his surprise Avengers getaway for the year. It would be the third major trip they took. Year 1 one was the Alpines for skiing, year 2 had been a tropical Christmas in the Bahamas, and this year he was thinking maybe Disney? He had a feeling Aj probably never had a family Disney trip before and Tony had been meaning to get Pepper out to Paris sometime this year. Aj, of course, had no idea about any of this. He thought it might be fun to tell her the day before they leave.</p>
<p>"You pick out Christmas gifts, yet?" Tony asked. "I already got your Jeep ready—"</p>
<p>"That is <em>not</em> under $20!" Aj snapped.</p>
<p>Tony shrugged, "We said gifts can be homemade. You think I can't make a Jeep?"</p>
<p>The way Aj's face morphed from confusion, to disbelief, then to a retired exhaustion made him chuckle. It was so easy to rile her up. Aj discreetly flipped him off and then turned to leave. Peter called out and raced over. He tackled Aj in a hug.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I made you sad. Thanks for caring though, Aj."</p>
<p>"You didn't make me sad, kid." Aj chuckled and returned the hug, "I'm just a worrywart."</p>
<p>"That she is." Tony grinned and ignored her glare. "I told her you'd be fine."</p>
<p>Peter grinned then his eyes widened, "Oh, can we get back to the suit now? I told Ned I'd meet him at 5:30 to build a 4,000 piece Lego death star with him."</p>
<p>Tony and Aj shared a look of amusement. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he clapped his hand on Peter's shoulder, "Ok, baby spider, let's go."</p>
<p>"Hey, I'm 15!"</p>
<p>Ignoring, the kid's arguments he dragged him back to the screens for a little more design work. Tony agreed with Aj on that one point. The faster he got Peter out of that damned hoodie and intro some Kevlar, he'd feel infinitely better.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>"<em>Bang</em>." Natasha rolled the word off her tongue. "You're dead. <em>Again</em>."</p>
<p>I groaned and she let go me so I fell forward. I caught myself by my hands and pressed my forehead against the training mat. This was by far the most intense training session we've had. It started off normal, but Natasha was not holding back by any means.</p>
<p>"Nat, I'm tired, can I go?" I pleaded and pushed myself up to face her.</p>
<p>She held the dummy gun in her hand up for me to see again, "Not until you take the gun from me without dying."</p>
<p>"You've metaphorically killed me <em>12 times</em>." I replied dryly.</p>
<p>The goal of this training session was to teach me what to do when I had someone pointing a gun to my head. I could guess why they decided to move this one up in the lesson plans. According to Natasha, there was no room for error with this. Which, again, makes logical sense. I'm not going to get a second try if someone's threatening to shoot my head off my shoulders.</p>
<p>"Fine." Natasha stuck the gun into the back of her waistband. "But you have to tell me who you were talking to on the phone this morning."</p>
<p>My eyes widened, "I already told you. Tony wouldn't—"</p>
<p>"Yes, Tony never shuts up, I know, but you weren't talking to him."</p>
<p>"I, uh…" I desperately tried to find an answer in my brain. How do you lie to the Black Widow? I cleared my throat, "Nat, it wasn't anyone important…" She raised an eyebrow at me, and I sighed. That didn't work. She crossed her arms with a smirk, and I nodded, "I was talking to an old friend."</p>
<p>Her eyes hardened, "From the ring?"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." I said quickly with a shake of my head. They wouldn't like me talking to anyone I knew from the ring. "A friend from—from <em>high school</em>."</p>
<p>Natasha narrowed her eyes at me, "A friend from high school? I thought you didn't have friends in high school?"</p>
<p>"Ok, I didn't, but it hurts my feelings when you say it like that." I snarked. There was only one person I considered close to a friend in high school so I guess that's where this plan of mine was going, "Friend is a strong word, it's not like I let him get <em>too close</em>, but he—"</p>
<p>"Him? <em>He</em>?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "His name is Josh. Granny, uh, reconnected us."</p>
<p>Natasha studied my features for a moment, and I tried to stay as level faced as I could. Her eyes widened in surprise, "You like him."</p>
<p>Josh Thompson was the high school football star that, yes, I did have a crush on. Everyone did in high school. He was a jock, he was smart, he was nice. For a small Alabama school, he was a hell of a catch. Josh was also one of the few people I talked to on the regular back then. I haven't spoken to him since high school graduation and I didn't even know where the hell he was or what he was doing with his life, but he sure did make an excellent excuse.</p>
<p>"I—I did. Back in high school, I mean." I waved her off. "It was a stupid crush. I'm just getting to know him again is all. No biggie."</p>
<p>"Why did you lie about it?"</p>
<p>"Why did I lie to you about who I was talking to?" I repeated the question to buy myself a little more time. "Clint actively looks for things to mock me about. I wasn't going to put this kind of ammunition in the air."</p>
<p>Natasha shrugged in agreement. She gave me a smirk, "Then I'll do my best not to tell him." I gave her a quick thanks and she continued. "Tomorrow morning. 6 AM. Meet me here."</p>
<p>I blinked in confusion, "I'm sorry, what?"</p>
<p>"Meet me here at 6 for weight and endurance training." Natasha replied in ease. "Then you'll do the same the next day, and the next day, and so on."</p>
<p>My first thought circled back to the information Daisy gave me weeks ago. Maybe their long-term plan had involved turning me into some kind of agent, but maybe Vincent Morgan had pushed their timeline up. They figured the faster I became an agent then the faster I wouldn't be a liability? It made sense. They had been on a mission, focused on HYDRA, and my dumbass nearly getting kidnapped had distracted them. I don't think I was quite ready to board the inhuman train, I was still trying to slowly absorb that information, but I could do this for them. It was more in my wheelhouse.</p>
<p>"Ok." I sighed. "Sounds like a real fun time."</p>
<p>"Good. Now let's text Steve and let him know you're skipping out on Netflix." Natasha hummed and slipped her arm through mine, "I'm stealing you for girls' night."</p>
<p>I smirked and mumbled out a confirmation. I was sure '<em>girls' night'</em> was just her way of trying to get me to tell her more about my non-existent new relationship with Josh, but it would be fun all the same.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Treading Water in a Turbulent Ocean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: This was one of my favorite chapters to write, man. Lemme know what you think pretty pretty please!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>
  <em>"I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief." –Unknown</em>
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<p> </p>
<p>My new schedule started with waking up at 6 in the morning to work out. It was like all those times I made fun of Steve for being up so early had come back to bite me in the ass. At least now though, I got to see what made him so sweaty. All I did was some weightlifting and cardio, but this guy ran 30 miles around the city then came back to the training floor to lift 12 times the weight I did, and do some sparring either with the spies or with one of his specially designed punching bags. Just watching him was exhausting.</p>
<p>After working out and cleaning up, I'd spend the next few hours trying to learn how to be a public relations specialist. It involved a lot of googling and YouTube videos which was a little sad on my part. I had already called Beth to let her know she had the job and would start with the New Year. She requested a little information on the Avengers to start spit balling ideas and I happily sent her a few fun facts about the band of merry assholes.</p>
<p>Then by 11:30, I was out of the Tower to talk to Bucky. Talking in the Tower seemed too risky for me. I know JARVIS didn't record anything in our private rooms, but I was still paranoid about it. Luckily, the Avengers recognized that alone time made me incredibly happy and had stopped following me out to the coffee shop I'd go to for my talks.</p>
<p>And talking with Bucky was <em>fun</em>.</p>
<p>Obviously, my main objective was to convince him to come home, but the past three days had been nice. We'd stay on the phone with one another over an hour each time and usually I stopped us because I was afraid an Avenger would come looking for me. Plus, we had both figured out texting too. It was his first time texting, and he picked it up quick whereas I had to struggle to get re-used to typing texts out on something that wasn't a smart phone.</p>
<p>All of that had gone well though. It had been a good week, but now it was Friday. Friday, December 19th, a week from Christmas, and I was <em>spiraling</em>. I expected it. I knew today was going to be a terrible day, it always was, but somehow despite knowing that it still felt like all the air had been punched from my lungs the moment I woke up.</p>
<p>Sixteen years ago today, I lost my mom.</p>
<p>I could still remember the day clearly as if it happened yesterday. Over breakfast we had been talking about going to see a Christmas lights show they always held right outside of my town. It was Aubrey and mine's favorite Christmas tradition. We'd pile in the car and drive through the lights wide eyed and enraptured. We were talking about going, and mom threw up at the table. She hadn't been sick before, there was no warning. Instead of going to see Christmas lights that night, we all sat in a hospital room while my mom slipped away from us. The doctors said it was a bad bug that had gone septic and damaged her organs beyond what they could save.</p>
<p>We didn't celebrate Christmas that year. Dad had tried, but it didn't pan out. He ended up getting drunk at the dining room table, and I held Aubrey while she cried.</p>
<p><em>"Ms. Bradshaw, Ms. Romanof would like to know if you are on your way." </em>JARVIS said. I didn't immediately answer. I had woken up at 5:45 to get ready but instead I just sat in my bed staring at the wall. "<em>Ms. Bradshaw, your vitals are stable so I feel no need to alert the Setting Sun protocol, but are you feeling well? You have been staring at the same spot for a prolonged period of time."</em></p>
<p>"I'm fine, J." I replied and rolled out of bed. "Tell her I'll be there soon."</p>
<p>
  <em>"Of course."</em>
</p>
<p>I quickly changed into a sports bra and a pair of yoga pants. This was the earliest I had been up on this day since it happened. The idea was that if I stayed in bed for as long as possible, unconscious to the world around me, then the day wouldn't be so long. I could cut down the 24 hours into 15.</p>
<p>The training floor, as usual, was playing music. Not at Tony or my level, but more as background noise. Clint and Natasha were sparring on the main training mat. I loved watching the two of them fight each other. It was like a work of art, a dance, the two of them knew what the other would do before they did it. Most of their fight ended up being internal because of it. Just trying to outthink the other.</p>
<p>Rather than stop to greet them or watch for a moment, I just moved to the treadmill. This could work. When my body was moving, I could turn my mind's volume down a couple notches. I spent a few minutes stretching before jumping on and cranking it higher than I usually did. My little trick didn't work unless I was in at least a little pain.</p>
<p>I wondered what my mom would think of me if she could see me now. Sure, the fancy job and nice clothes would be something to preen at, but the rest of it? When I was a kid getting into fist fights with other kids on the playground for picking on my sister, it was my mom who never liked it. Dad always thought it was great that I was swing first on any punk ass kid who tried to mess with us, but mom <em>hated</em> it. She'd scold me to high heaven. Hell, when my dad told her he had signed me up for my first fighting lessons she had nearly lost her mind. What would she think of her little Aimee now?</p>
<p>How would she feel about the fact that I liked the way it felt when my fist made contact with my enemy's face? That I enjoyed the way my grin in the ring could make grown men tremble? I was the queen of that ring because I was ruthless.</p>
<p>I cranked the speed up one more level and focused on the beat of the music and each slap of my foot against the treadmill. After twenty minutes of that I was a sweating, panting mess, but I was distracted and that was the point.</p>
<p>"<em>Aj</em>!" Natasha snapped and her face appeared in my peripheral vision.</p>
<p>My eyes widened and my foot stumbled. My hands shot out in panic to catch myself before my face slammed into the speeding treadmill, but arms wrapped around my midsection and Natasha slammed her hand down on the emergency stop. I sucked in a sharp breath and shook my head.</p>
<p>"We were calling you. Didn't you hear?" Clint's voice came from behind me. He had jumped onto the side portions of the treadmill to catch me.</p>
<p>He pulled me upright and I shakily steadied myself. Both of them stared at me in confusion and I spent a minute catching my breath before speaking, "Sorry…I was…I was in the zone. Runner's high or…or whatever."</p>
<p>The spies gave each other a disbelieving glance that I chose to ignore. Natasha nodded her head to me, "Are you feeling alright? We can skip weightlifting today."</p>
<p>"Nope." I replied. "I mean, I am fine. So, nope to skipping let's just—Let's go."</p>
<p>I moved toward the weights without waiting for them. There was no time to be idle. Today, I was like a shark. <em>Forward motion or death</em>. I stretched my arms and shoulders while walking over to the weights. Yesterday had been core work, which I was learning was the bane of my existence, but today was arms.</p>
<p>"J, bring up arms day." I called out.</p>
<p>The mirror that covered the wall by the weights also served as a screen. JARVIS pulled up the work-out walkthrough and it appeared in the corner of the mirror in light blueprint. It was in checklist form and anytime I finished with one it would go gray to let me know where I was. You don't see that at your local Fitness Planet.</p>
<p>Natasha came up beside me, pulling up her own list, and we began to work out side by side. We talked as we worked, we always did, but I think she could tell something was off. I tried to laugh at the right times and reply like I normally would but even I knew I sounded robotic at best.</p>
<p>"Morning."</p>
<p>I glanced over to see Steve greeting us. He shot me a smile that I tried my best to return. Steve raised an eyebrow at me, and I quickly looked away and focused on the bicep curls I was working on. Natasha spoke up, "You're running late, Rogers. Fossil get a slow start?"</p>
<p>"Funny." Steve chuckled. "I added a mile."</p>
<p>"What're you trying to compensate for, Cap?" Clint teased. Through the mirror, I watched as Steve shook his head, threw his sweat towel at Clint's face, and then lunge to attack. Clint swiped it away and rolled back to dodge, "<em>That's fucking cheating</em>!"</p>
<p>Natasha and I went back to small talk as we worked. If you asked me twenty minutes from now what we were talking about I wouldn't be able to say. I stared at myself in the mirror while doing my set of shoulder presses. My hair was so much longer than I usually kept it. I had it braided back, and the braid was long enough that it could sit over my shoulder. Minus that one scar, my souvenir from Russia, my skin was unmarred by injury.</p>
<p>I didn't look anything like my mom though.</p>
<p>Maybe that was for the best. How much harder would it be if every day I looked into a mirror and only saw her looking back? Her hair had been fair, a dirty blonde, that naturally curled in beautiful waves. Her eyes had been darker than mine. Not quite so stark and never filled with the kind of anger that always seemed to boil in mine. She had freckles like I did, but I knew most of the freckles on the bridge of my nose and shoulders came from being in the sun. Not genetics. I could always pretend though. Pretend I shared that trait with her.</p>
<p>I put the weights I had away and moved to the bench. Natasha swept by me and stood at the head of it with a raised eyebrow, "I told you not to do this without a partner."</p>
<p>"I was just about to call you." I lied. It had slipped my mind.</p>
<p>Natasha helped me place weights on the bar and I laid down with my grip in place. She stood above me, hands at the ready just in case, and I pushed off the rack to begin doing my first set of bench presses. I had put just a little more weight on then the last arm day and I could feel the ache every time I pushed it up.</p>
<p>
  <em>'Just be you.'</em>
</p>
<p>That was the last thing she told me. To just be me. I loved my mom and I know its poor to speak ill of the dead, but what kind of fucked up last words is that? <em>Just be me?</em> That's the kind of motivational bullshit they put on middle school posters to make going through that age a little better. <em>Just be me?</em> It was her last moment on Earth and she told her ten-year-old daughter to just be herself. The last thing she told Aubrey was to look out for me, which was a fucking joke and a half now, and that she was proud of her. <em>Proud of her</em>. Mom was proud of <em>perfect</em> Aubrey, but I just needed to be myself. <em>Right</em>. I could feel that same, old anger boil in my blood at the thought. She could have said anything. In her dying breath, she chose to give me that bullshit. Not an '<em>I'm proud of you too'</em> or '<em>You're so strong'</em> or even an <em>'I love you'</em>. No, just a <em>fucking</em>—</p>
<p>My grip slipped and my shaky arms couldn't catch the bar hovering over my head. I let out a gasp and closed my eyes, but I wasn't met with an untimely and embarrassing end. My eyes fluttered open and I watched as Natasha pulled the heavy bar back up to the rack. A small breath of relief left me, but it was short lived.</p>
<p>"What the <em>hell</em> was that?" Natasha yelled. "I told you to rack up. <em>Why didn't you</em>?!"</p>
<p>To be honest, I hadn't even heard her tell me to do that. I was vaguely aware now that I had gone well beyond the typical set. I pushed myself up into a seated position and met the gaze of Clint and Steve who had stopped sparring to look over at us.</p>
<p>"<em>Aj</em>!?" Natasha pressed.</p>
<p>"<em>Sorry</em>!" I snapped with more venom then I meant to. Her eyes widened and even more anger flooded my system. I tore my eyes away from her and snatched my sweat towel from the floor. Quickly, I jumped up, wiped my face with it, then threw it over my shoulder. "I'm done for today."</p>
<p>I hurried back toward the elevator. Steve and Clint both called out after me, but I ignored it. Anything I said now would just come out venomous again, and they didn't deserve that.</p>
<p>It wasn't <em>them</em> I was angry at.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>"Aj!" Steve called out, but her tight shoulders didn't even flinch. She stepped into the elevator, kept her gaze down, and slammed her hand against a button. The doors closed and for a shocked minute the three of them were just quiet.</p>
<p>Clint made a humming noise, "You know, I'm just now realizing that's the <em>first time</em> she's <em>ever</em> raised her voice at any of us. Like that, I mean. She yells at Tony all the time, but that's different."</p>
<p>Steve turned to face Natasha who had walked over to them, "What happened?"</p>
<p>"Don't look at me." Natasha replied. She crossed her arms, "She was off this morning when she came in, and late, but nothing happened."</p>
<p>"She's stuck in her head about something." Clint added. "She nearly face planted on the treadmill too."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "I'm gonna go check on her."</p>
<p>Clint and Natasha both grabbed his arms when he was only a step away and he shot them both a look of annoyance. Clint looked to the redhead and she sighed, "Just give her a minute to cool down. She's probably going straight to her shower right now anyways."</p>
<p>As much as it bothered him to just stand here while he knew Aj was beating herself up about something, he also knew they had a very good point. Whatever was going on had her really worked up. More so than he had seen before. This wasn't just a sadness either. Aj was <em>pissed</em>. She had told him, in various stories, about her wild temper, but Steve almost couldn't believe those stories. Sure, he had seen her fight that Russian woman in the video and he had seen her, teeth bared and angry, as she beat the woman into the ground. That seemed like a lifetime ago though. That wasn't the Aj he saw day to day at the Tower.</p>
<p>"I guess she was a little off last night." Steve admitted.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" Clint asked.</p>
<p>Steve had thought she was just tired. Aj had been fine, but as the night went on she had gotten quieter. He wished he had called her out on it last night. Maybe this morning wouldn't have been so bad. He crossed his arms with a sigh, "She was just quiet. It felt…<em>off</em>, but I assumed she was just tired. This is the first week of her working out every morning."</p>
<p>"Maybe she got into a fight with her little crush." Clint shrugged. Steve's eyes snapped to Clint in surprise and Natasha rolled her eyes with a sigh. Clint quickly backpedaled, "The little crush that <em>definitely </em>doesn't exist. I mean, <em>crush</em>? <em>What crush?</em>"</p>
<p>"What the hell are you talking about?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"It's nothing. He's got <em>no</em> competition on <em>you</em>, Cap." Clint grinned and lightly slapped his chest with the back of his hand. Steve shot him a glare and he took a step back with hands raised in mock surrender.</p>
<p>Natasha stepped in, "It <em>is</em> nothing. You know how she goes out for coffee every morning? And is gone for like an hour?" Steve nodded. He had actually asked to go with her one morning and she stumbled over an excuse. He assumed she wanted alone time and let it go. "Well, I think she's using that time to talk to a guy she knew from high school. They've reconnected."</p>
<p>"Who is this guy?"</p>
<p>"He's safe. Some southern boy turned sheriff of a small town in <em>buttfuck</em> nowhere." Clint shrugged then narrowed his eyes, "Wait, I guess I shouldn't call it buttfuck nowhere, it's technically Aj's hometown, but you get my point."</p>
<p>Natasha held her hand up, "And there's nothing going on. Anytime I bring it up, she stresses that it's just old friends catching up."</p>
<p>"Right." Steve nodded and cleared his throat. This didn't bother him. This <em>shouldn't</em> bother him. He was Aj's friend and his focus should be on making sure that she was emotionally and mentally doing well. The urge to pick a fight with a man he's never met should not be bubbling up in the back of his mind. "Right, um, so do you think that they, um they—you know, got into a fight or…?"</p>
<p>Clint turned to Natasha, "Oh my God, Tash, we need to get him to Bruce." He swiveled his gaze back to him with a smirk, "Steve, you're turning <em>green</em>! Think it's a gamma radiation leak of some kind or…"</p>
<p>Steve rolled his eyes, "Fuck off, Barton."</p>
<p>"It's ok, Mr. Rogers." Clint replied softly, "You're still number one in her heart. I can send you the video clip of her drooling over your costume! I saved it for blackmail purposes, but if you wanna add it to your growing collection of—"</p>
<p>Steve lunged forward to attack and Clint backpedaled with the startled squeak of a 12-year-old girl. He smirked and continued to attack the archer. Steve needed to give Aj time to cool off before he checked up on her and what better way to wait than blowing off steam.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Tony had a meeting with some contractors for the Avengers Compound this morning that I had completely and totally forgotten about. In fact, I didn't actually even remember it until it was too late. The meeting was in thirty minutes and I was still getting ready.</p>
<p>I tried to button up my shirt, but my hands were shaking, and I fumbled twice before just ripping the shirt off my body and throwing it to the ground in a huff, "<em>Fine. I'll wear a fucking sweater</em>."</p>
<p>Shirtless and angry, I crossed the room to my closet and pulled on the first sweater I touched. When I spun around to leave the closet, I slammed my foot into the doorway and pain shot up my leg. <em>Oh, you gotta be shitting me</em>. I barked out a few choice curse words, and when JARVIS called out to ask if I was alright I told him I was and that he better not activate any sort of Setting Sun protocols.</p>
<p>Thankfully, JARVIS listened, and I was on my way up to the penthouse. This was fine. I was fine. Today was my first time since high school being fully conscious and sober through the anniversary of my mom's death, but it was <em>fine</em>. If I could handle Boss being a complete and total dick to me for five years then I could handle this.</p>
<p>I got up to the penthouse and jogged over to the lab where I knew Tony wouldn't be ready for anything. When I stuck my head in, my guess was confirmed. Tony was in pajama pants while working on Peter's suit with Bruce beside him helping him. I cleared my throat and they both looked over with me.</p>
<p>"Morning, Aj." Bruce greeted.</p>
<p>"Hey, Bruce." I sighed and looked to Tony, "We have a meeting with contractors in", I glanced at my watch, "Twenty minutes. You need to go get ready."</p>
<p>Tony groaned, "But <em>mooooooom</em>…"</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>." I snapped and both men sent me a curious glance.</p>
<p>They shared another look with one another before Tony threw whatever he had in his hand onto the counter and stood up, "Fine, fine. Meet you down there. <em>Coffee</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yes." I replied and pulled out of the lab. As long as he was getting ready, I'd fetch him whatever he wanted. Sal was still on medical leave. Tony had told him not to come back until well past New Years and though Sal complained about it, his husband just thanked Stark and the two went on some sort of vacation. That meant only Sal's employees were down at his stall, but I didn't like going there without him there. Anytime I even got close, all I could think of was watching Sal collapse.</p>
<p>So, these days, I just made coffee in the penthouse kitchen. Tony kept some good stuff up here anyways. I went about brewing a fresh pot since I was pretty sure the one there was made at some weird time of night knowing Tony and Clint. While it brewed, I opened the cabinet to grab one of Tony's mugs. It was a white one with <em>'I LOVE IRON MAN'</em> on it in all capital letters. When I set it down though I realized the mug had been used and not washed.</p>
<p>"<em>Who the hell</em>…" I mumbled and carried it over to the sink.</p>
<p>My brain was trying to come up with a way to apologize to Natasha for snapping at her without having to explain why I snapped at her. Something told me the super-secret agent who loved answers wasn't going to make it easy. It might be best to wait until tomorrow to apologize. December 20th was always a better day.</p>
<p>The mug slipped from my fingers, I was in too much of a rush and I used too much soap, and it shattered in the sink into three separate pieces. This is why I fucking stayed unconscious on this day. The universe liked to kick me when I was down. Anytime I felt like I was at rock bottom emotionally it liked to walk up to me, throw a shovel in my hands, and force me to dig.</p>
<p>I slammed my hands on either side of the sink. Every heartbeat shot more anger through my body as I tried to clean up the mess I had made. In the process of throwing away the broken ceramic my hand tightened around a piece a little too much and I felt it cut into my skin. I hissed in annoyance and dropped the piece. It was nothing. <em>A scratch</em>. An inch long slice that was barely even deep. It was hardly even bleeding, but the sight of red set me off. I was like a bull in that sense. All it took was that familiar color and I snapped.</p>
<p>I grabbed a glass cup, left by the sink to dry, spun on my heel and then threw it as hard as I could against the fridge. It exploded into bits with a satisfying smash. The release was momentarily gratifying, but it faded as quick as it had come. I bit down on my quivering lower lips and slumped down to the ground. I buried my face into my knees and tried to control my shaky breaths.</p>
<p>She was gone. Sixteen years had passed and it <em>still</em> fucking hurt. I was still angry, and I didn't even know who I was angry at. There was no person I could point a finger at. It's not like I could be furious at the bacteria that destroyed her system. It felt wrong to be angry at my mom. It wasn't her fault she got sick. It wasn't her fault that I was upset at the choice of a dying woman's final words. It wasn't her fault that she died. It was <em>nobody's fault</em> and I <em>knew</em> that, but it left me with no place to put my anger.</p>
<p>It just burned me alive.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>"Dr. Banner, Aj has injured herself."</em>
</p>
<p>Bruce looked up from the report he was reading and before he could even ask the AI to explain further, he heard glass shattering from the floor below. He tossed his report down, pocketed his glasses, and hurried down the stairs. Bruce whipped around the corner, into the kitchen, and didn't immediately see Aj. There was glass scattered across the floor that crunched under his feet. He took a step in further and spotted Aj curled tightly up sitting in front of the sink.</p>
<p>"JARVIS, restrict access up here for now." Bruce said quietly before walking over cautiously. Aj didn't even give him a glance. She was crying. She was silent and stiff. Bruce stepped closer and cleared his throat, "Aj?"</p>
<p>She shook her head against her knees, her voice sharp, "I'm fine, Bruce."</p>
<p>Then he got it. It was evident in her voice. Bruce recognized this kind of state with ease. Aj was <em>angry</em>. She was <em>fuming</em>. Bruce let out a soft sigh and came to sit beside her. When Aj had told them she had anger issues the others found it hard to grasp. They believed her, had seen peeks of it here and there, but the way she described it… It was hard for them to imagine the grinning, laughing woman containing the kind of rage she talked about.</p>
<p>Bruce understood though.</p>
<p>He understood better than most.</p>
<p>"At least, when you get mad you just break glass." Bruce said softly. "Last time I lost my temper, I broke <em>Harlem</em>."</p>
<p>Aj's gaze lifted from her knees to look at him and he offered her a small smile. She shook her head, "I wanted to do more. I wanted to—to <em>break bone</em>. Mine or someone else's I don't know I just—" She held her hands open to stare at them. Bruce saw the small, bleeding wound on the pad of her palm under her thumb. "I feel like my blood is <em>boiling</em>."</p>
<p>Bruce nodded, "I know what that feels like. Can you tell me what triggered you?"</p>
<p>"<em>What triggered me</em>?" Aj laughed dryly, "I broke Tony's <em>fucking</em> mug. That stupid one that says <em>'I LOVE IRON MAN'</em> on it. Where does he even buy that shit? And you know what?!" She snapped. "The only reason I dropped it in the damn sink is because I had to fucking wash it because whoever used it last put back in the cabinet dirty!"</p>
<p>Bruce hummed, "That's frustrating—" Aj scoffed, but it didn't deter him, "But I know that wasn't what created this anger. If it is then you might have a bigger temper problem than I do."</p>
<p>Aj leaned her head against her knee again. She kept her gaze on something beyond him. Bruce watched the burning rage dull into a small ember. Bruce knew this kind of thing could come in waves. <em>Anger was like an ocean</em>. Sometimes the surface was still, calm, and other times the waves were stories high and churning. You could dive into its depths and let it drown you or you could float on the surface and focus on the sky above.</p>
<p>He had learned, early on thanks to the Hulk, that if he lost sight of the sky he would sink to the bottom of the ocean. Bruce Banner would be no more, and his alter ego would reign. Aj was young though. She hadn't quite learned yet. All she knew was that the anger was overwhelming, and it was. She was caught between treading water and slipping beneath the surface.</p>
<p>"Why are you angry, Aj?" Bruce said in the steadiest voice he had.</p>
<p>She clenched her teeth together, tears pooled in her eyes, and shook her head against her knees, "<em>I don't know</em>. I'm supposed to be <em>sad</em>, but I'm <em>not good at sad</em>, Bruce. I'm only good at <em>angry</em>." Aj lifted her head and swiped at the tears that left her eyes. "I can't even mourn right."</p>
<p>"Why are you mourning?" Bruce asked, but he had a bad feeling he knew the answer.</p>
<p>"December 19th." She replied simply. "It's the sixteenth anniversary of my mom's death."</p>
<p>Bruce sucked in a sharp breath, "Aj. I'm <em>sorry</em>."</p>
<p>"No. <em>I'm</em> sorry." She pressed her face into her hands briefly, "I'm stomping around like a <em>petulant</em> child, snapping and throwing things… It's <em>stupid</em>."</p>
<p>Bruce shook his head, "No, it's not. You don't have to be sorry. Anger is difficult to get a handle on. It's…<em>finicky</em>."</p>
<p>Aj chuckled, "Yeah, that's a word for it."</p>
<p>"Would you like to talk about it? It really does help." Bruce asked. He motioned to the cabinets, "Or I can get you another glass. I know Tony can afford more."</p>
<p>She shook her head with a small smile, "It's stupid—"</p>
<p>"It's <em>never</em> stupid."</p>
<p>Aj paused and then started again, "I don't have anything to be angry at. There's no person to blame. My mom dying…That was just—just a <em>tragedy</em>. Could've happened to anyone. I thought after 16 years, it'd waiver. I know I'll never be fully ok, and I'll always miss my mom, but…it just feels like every single year it gets <em>worse</em>. Time is supposed to heal, I thought."</p>
<p>"Time can heal, but only if the pain is finite. Losing someone you love…that's not something time will just erase, unfortunately." Bruce replied. "Yes, eventually the ache won't be so sharp, but it won't heal. Not like we wish it would."</p>
<p>"How do you do it, Bruce?" Aj asked with a shake of her head. "How do you keep your anger so well controlled? God, my anger just boils over with ease and then the smallest thing like stubbing my toe or—or cutting myself just feels like…"</p>
<p>Bruce smirked, "Feels like you're drowning in it?"</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>." Aj nodded desperately.</p>
<p>"You have to let it go, Aj." Bruce replied and her features wilted. He chuckled, "I know, I know. No one likes to hear it. But give me a little trust?" Aj relented and gave him a small nod. He motioned to her, "Anger is like a body of water. Some people live with puddles, lakes, or rivers, but people like <em>us</em>? We got stuck with a damn <em>ocean</em>. And it's a <em>mean</em> ocean. <em>Unforgiving</em>. Aj, you feel things so <em>strongly</em>…you feel that anger and you grab ahold of it. You fight it because it's the natural thing to do. But fighting it is <em>wearing you down</em>, it exhausts you to the point where now even the smallest things can set you off. You need to let go of it. Stop fighting the current. Let it take you where it wants to go because you can't beat an ocean, Aj. You can only ride the storm."</p>
<p>Aj sat in silence for a moment, mulling it over, and then she nodded with a soft smile, "Thanks, Bruce. No one ever explained it to me like that. People usually just tell me to get over it and that usually just pisses me off more."</p>
<p>Bruce stood up and crossed the kitchen to get the first aid kit he knew was in a drawer by the oven. He came back, sat down, and then began to clean the small cut with an alcohol swab from the kit, "What do you usually do on these days? I know people have different traditions."</p>
<p>"Well", Aj chuckled and watched him clean the tiny wound, "Typically, I sleep in until at least noon. Then I go to my favorite bar and drink until I can't see straight." Bruce frowned at that, but then it got worse. "Then after that, I would head to the ring and fight. It was everyone's favorite day because they knew it was the only day they could beat me. I was always too drunk to do well or win. That wasn't my intent though, I just wanted…"</p>
<p>"The pain." Bruce sighed.</p>
<p>Aj nodded, "I've always been better at physical pain than emotional pain. It's a hell of a lot easier to deal with."</p>
<p>"How about we find you a new coping mechanism, hmm?" Bruce asked. "Maybe a new tradition too?" Aj chuckled and gave him a small nod. He pulled out the box of bandages and shook it in front of her, "You want an Iron Man Band-Aid or a Captain America one?"</p>
<p>"They got any Hulk?" Aj grinned.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Talking to Bruce had helped significantly. It wasn't some be all, cure all, but my anger had simmered into something much more manageable. Of course, that left more room for the hurt, the sadness, but at this point I'd take it. On a day like today it was just a game of <em>'juggle my emotions and try not to drop everything</em>'. I glanced at the injury on the palm of my hand and smiled. My mental stability was currently being held together by one Hulk themed band-aid.</p>
<p>After talking me off my cliff, Bruce told me to go back to my floor, take a warm bath, change into something comfortable, and take a nap. I wasn't really a bath kind of person. Bodies of any water, no matter the size, wasn't my forte, but I had changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of Thor's giant sweaters from our shared closet space. I was pretty sure it was more of a joke sweater because it was a warm yellow with the words <em>'HAMMER TIME'</em> stitched into it with a small Mjolnir stitched under that. I hadn't seen him wear it so officially I was claiming ownership. Possession was nine-tenths the law.</p>
<p>It didn't take me long to pass out, swaddled in my new sweater and the blankets on my bed, in the cold room. The moment I had fallen asleep though it felt like I was waking up again. My head felt groggy and I glanced around the room looking for the source of the noise that had woken me up.</p>
<p>Phone. It was my phone.</p>
<p>Shit, it was <em>that</em> phone.</p>
<p>I jumped out of bed and scrambled to grab Bucky's jacket which was hanging on the back of my closet door. I always left the small phone in the pocket. It was still ringing, and I was panicking. My slow, still half-asleep brain, trying to make quick decisions. I grabbed the jacket and sprinted into the bathroom where I knew JARVIS had no eyes and no ears.</p>
<p>The phone stopped ringing once I closed the door, and I pulled it out to call him back. My finger hovered over the button and I hesitated. My quick nap had apparently actually been over three hours. I rubbed my face and instead of calling him back, I shot him a text.</p>
<p>
  <em>'Bad day, stuck in tower, sorry.'</em>
</p>
<p>I closed the phone and set it on the bathroom counter with a sigh. Honestly, talking to Bucky was a bad idea for a number of reasons right now. I splashed some water on my face, content with crawling back into bed, when the phone started ringing again. With a frown, I picked it up and shook my head. Hadn't he gotten my text? I glanced around, as if one of the Avengers was going to jump out from a corner, and hesitantly answered it.</p>
<p>Bucky spoke first, "<em>What's wrong</em>?"</p>
<p>"Huh?" I replied. "Didn't you get my text?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I did. Are you ok? What's wrong?"</p>
<p>"Bu—" I stopped myself from saying his name just in case. "I'm in the Tower right now. I'm hiding in my bathroom, JARVIS can't see in here, but it's still risky."</p>
<p>Bucky replied without missing a beat, "I don't care. It's fine."</p>
<p>"You that eager to talk to me?" I joked.</p>
<p>"Maybe." Bucky said. "It's <em>your</em> fault. You got me in the habit of talking to you every day. What am I supposed to do if I don't wrap up the end of my day with the sound of your voice?"</p>
<p>I couldn't help but smile at that, "God, that's cheesy."</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled then pressed again, "Stop deflecting. <em>What's wrong</em>?"</p>
<p>This was risky. I knew I was out of sight when it came to JARVIS, but you never knew. At the same time though, hearing his voice, it honestly brought me comfort. I didn't know how to explain it. If you held a gun to my head, which I was still very bad at getting out of according to Natasha, I wouldn't be able to tell you why Bucky's voice made me feel soft. I think it went back to that damned hellhole. Psychologically speaking, maybe I, at my weakest moment, had used his presence, <em>his voice</em>, as an anchor… so now it was just second nature. My body couldn't help but relax. It knew I was safe.</p>
<p>"It's a bad day, Bucky." I said quietly, not even realizing I used his name until it slipped from my lips. It was like the nap I had taken shoved the ball of anger deep into my chest, and now talking to Bucky all I had left out in the open was sorrow. "December 19th is <em>always</em> a bad day."</p>
<p>"Talk to me, doll."</p>
<p>I crawled into the large, empty jacuzzi sized bathtub and just talked. I told him what happened sixteen years ago and how it got worse every year and how this was the first time in ten years that I was sober on this terrible, terrible day and how it felt like my chest was just caving in on itself.</p>
<p>In slow motion, I was imploding like a dying star.</p>
<p>And, Bucky just listened. He'd mumbled soft comforts anytime I took a break to breathe, but he never interrupted. He just listened intently while I poured my soul out into a tiny, outdated cell phone that I clung to like a lifeline.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry." Bucky said when my words rolled slowly to a stop. "I'm <em>so</em> sorry. I know that hurts, Aj."</p>
<p>"And you know what I hate?" I scoffed, "First time sober on this day in ten years, and the first emotion I acknowledge is <em>anger</em>. God, I was <em>so</em> angry. I still am! Bruce talked me down and it helped but… I'm angry. I'm angry and that has to make me a <em>terrible</em> human being. Who spends the anniversary of their mother's death angry?"</p>
<p>"Hey." Bucky said firmly. "That's not how that works. It doesn't make you terrible. You're <em>allowed</em> to be angry. You're <em>allowed</em> to be sad. Aj, you have the right to feel <em>anything</em> you feel today."</p>
<p>I leaned back so my head was resting on the edge of the tub, "I think she'd be disappointed in me if she could see me now."</p>
<p>"Ok, I take back what I said. You're <em>not</em> allowed to feel <em>that</em>." Bucky scoffed and I couldn't help but laugh at the exasperation in his voice. He continued, "Doll, that's, pardon my language, but that's <em>dumb as shit</em>."</p>
<p>"Did you just ask me to <em>pardon your language</em>?" I smirked in sudden amusement. "I know I've definitely dropped multiple '<em>F-bombs'</em> and everything else under the sun to you."</p>
<p>"And that's fine, I <em>like</em> the way you talk. You say what you think, no holding back, but my ma would <em>reach out of her grave</em> to <em>beat me to death</em> if she knew I was cursing to a dame like you." Bucky replied.</p>
<p>I snickered, "Steve said fuck and Goddamn in front of me."</p>
<p>"Yeah, because he's a <em>punk</em>." Bucky replied. "And you can ask him what'd I'd do to him if I heard him say that to you."</p>
<p>I tucked that information away for later use, "I wouldn't have guessed that. I had him pegged as the gentleman and you as the bad boy with a dirty mouth."</p>
<p>"I <em>was</em> and I <em>did</em>." Bucky replied. "Steve is the gentleman out of the two of us. He'd never dare be late to date, he'd bring only the best flowers for his gal, pull out his chair, lay his jacket across a puddle…all of it." He chuckled. "Problem is the punk <em>didn't</em> date. Never had a conversation longer than a couple minutes with a dame so he's used to talking the way he did with me and the other guys on the street and then the guys in the ARMY."</p>
<p>I smirked, "That's…kind of adorable."</p>
<p>"You keep distracting me." Bucky said suddenly, "The point I was making is that I've never met your mother, but I know for a fact that she wouldn't be disappointed by you."</p>
<p>"You can't know that." I mumbled.</p>
<p>"Actually, I can." He said firmly. "Because I know you, and if your mom is as great as you make her sound, then I know she'd be nothing but proud."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I've done some terrible shit, Bucky."</p>
<p>"You've <em>overcome</em> terrible shit, doll."</p>
<p>"Oh, Mr. Barnes, I'm a <em>proper lady</em>, do you hear? I can't <em>bear</em> to hear that kind of talk!" I replied in what I assumed was an old-timey damsel in distress voice.</p>
<p>"Oh, hush." Bucky chuckled. "Take my comfort."</p>
<p>The hand that wasn't holding the phone, I let my fingers play with the hem of the sweater mindlessly, "Her last words to me were '<em>Just be you'</em>. I never understood that. Still don't."</p>
<p>"That just proves I'm right. Can't believe you doubted me for a second." Bucky scoffed.</p>
<p>"How so, smart guy?"</p>
<p>"<em>Just be you</em>." Bucky replied, enunciating every word. "She obviously knew you were special, and apparently she <em>also</em> knew you'd be too <em>dense</em> to figure it out yourself."</p>
<p>I laughed at his statement, "<em>Dense</em>? Hey, that hurts my feelings. Say something nice and super old to me."</p>
<p>"<em>Super old</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, like something no guy would say in the year of 2014."</p>
<p>Bucky hummed in thought before replying, "Doll, you're a <em>real</em> swell bird."</p>
<p>I grinned to myself, "Aw shucks, Buck, you're such a <em>dreamboat</em>." He chuckled and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like Russian. "Really though, thanks. Talking with you helped a lot. I just—" Faintly, I heard a familiar voice call out my name from outside the bathroom. Panic hit me like a bag of bricks and I quickly stood up, "<em>I gotta go, sorry!</em>"</p>
<p>I slammed the phone shut before Bucky could even reply. The voice had been Steve's and I knew his super hearing could've easily heard the phone call. I re-flipped the phone open and shot Bucky an apology text letting him know that Steve had walked in then muted the ringer just in case. There was knock at the bathroom door and I nearly busted my ass jumping out of the jacuzzi tub.</p>
<p>"Aj?"</p>
<p>I yanked the door open, breathless, and gave a confused Steve a tight smile, "Hey. Steve, hey. What's, um, what's up?"</p>
<p>"Are you ok?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"Yeah." I nodded and let the long sleeves of my sweater go well past my hands so the phone was covered up. My heartrate was starting to calm finally, "Hey, I'm sorry about this morning—"</p>
<p>Steve quickly shook his head, "No. We—Uh, Bruce told us." I nodded once at his words and he sighed, "I'm sorry, Aj. Is there anything I can do?"</p>
<p>"No. It is what it is." I replied and crossed my arms, "I talked it out with…with Bruce, obviously, and it helped. <em>He</em> really helped."</p>
<p>"Good." Steve nodded and there was an awkward tension that hung in the air between us. Fear crawled up my spine at the worse case scenario. Had he heard me on the phone with Bucky? Had he heard Bucky's voice? I was doing this for him, but he couldn't know yet. Bucky didn't want him to know. "I…I'm sorry, I heard you on the phone."</p>
<p>My shoulders tensed, "<em>Oh</em>."</p>
<p>"I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to check on you." Steve said, his eyebrows scrunched up in concern.</p>
<p>"How much did you hear?" I asked softly.</p>
<p>"Just the end, but I—<em>I know</em>." Steve answered and it took every ounce of me to not immediately start begging for his forgiveness. The last thing I ever wanted to do in this world was hurt Steve in any way. He had been there for me since the beginning, put up with my dumb ass, and it felt like I was betraying him. "Nat told me about him."</p>
<p>I blinked in confusion, "Huh?"</p>
<p>"Josh, right?" Steve motioned back to the bathroom. "A friend from high school?"</p>
<p>It took my brain a few seconds to catch up to where we were at in this conversation, but I quickly nodded as soon as I had, "<em>Yes</em>! Josh. We've been catching up with one another. He's been…He's been really great."</p>
<p>"Good." Steve gave me a smile, but it didn't entirely reach his eyes, "I'm glad you have someone like that. To talk to about this stuff. I, uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck and gave me one quick, tight nod, "I'm here if you need to talk to someone. I mean, not now. You just talked about it so I'm not saying you need to—to talk about it <em>again</em>. I meant more—"</p>
<p>My face warmed at watching him stumble over his words, a small smile on my lips that I couldn't fight back. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. Steve hesitated only for a second before he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. Everyone in this Tower had the special skill of giving great hugs. I don't know how I had lived so long without the constant flow of accessible hugs, but Steve's were the best. Not that I'd ever admit that to someone like Tony or Clint. They'd never fucking stop whining.</p>
<p>"You're still my favorite, you know?" I mumbled against his chest.</p>
<p>Steve relaxed against me, "Why does it sound like you're comforting me? I came here to comfort you."</p>
<p>"This is enough." I replied and tightened my grip.</p>
<p>He chuckled and I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head, "You in the mood to hang out or do you wanna sleep a little more?"</p>
<p>"If I sleep anymore, I won't be able to sleep tonight." I said and pulled back so I could look up at him. Steve kept his arms loosely around my side, "What did you have in mind?"</p>
<p>"It's a surprise." He smirked and took a step back.</p>
<p>"Lemme clean up a little and I'll meet you. Your place?"</p>
<p>"Penthouse." Steve replied and turned to leave.</p>
<p>I didn't move until I heard the elevator doors close. With a relieved sigh, I walked back into the bathroom to grab Bucky's jacket. The phone had vibrated once while I was talking to Steve and when I flipped it open it was just a text from Bucky.</p>
<p>
  <em>'I'm here if you need me, doll.'</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>'Ditto, dreamboat.'</em>
</p>
<p>How'd I get lucky enough to have these people in my life?</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew that him and Aj had a lot in common. Tony could see that plain as day on his own, but he also had people like Pepper and Rhodey and Happy who would point out the same thing to him. They were similar in little ways, the snark, the taste in loud music, even similar coping mechanisms, but they also had big things in common. Similar pains. For one, they both shared their worst day in life in December. In fact, only a few days apart. That was a funny coincidence. Funny in a tragic way, but still.</p>
<p>Tony could still remember learning the news. The police officer who pulled the short straw of having to share it had smelled like pine trees. It was a weird little fact he never let go. Learning about his dad dying had been hard. Howard Stark had been a downright dick to him for most of his life, but he was his father. Learning his mom had perished in the same car accident? If it hadn't been for Rhodey he would've drank himself to death that night. No doubt.</p>
<p>For him it had been 23 years ago, and it <em>still</em> hurt. Tony used to get black out drunk anytime the anniversary came around, but it had gotten better. This year he had flown out to California to spend the entire day with Pepper and Rhodey. It took him years to figure it out, despite being a genius he could admit he was dumb as shit on things like this, but now he knew that the best way to mourn a loved one was to be around others you loved. It didn't fix it, nothing would, but being reminded that you still had love in your life helped significantly.</p>
<p>"I got the usual." Tony called out and began to dig out the various snacks he had gone out to buy. The Tower had some, but if they were going to do a full day movie marathon they needed more supplies.</p>
<p>Clint clapped his hands and peered over his shoulder with a grin, "Nice. <em>Ooh</em>, sour straws—"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." Tony slapped away Clint's hand and ignored the hurt look the man shot him, "All the sour straws are for Aj. I got you sour gummi worms, you <em>bird</em>."</p>
<p>"She can't eat <em>all</em> those sour straws." Clint pouted. "You bought like 17 packs!"</p>
<p>"Touch the sour straws and <em>die</em>." Tony threatened. "Nat?"</p>
<p>Natasha who was sitting on the couch in lazy day clothes flipping through a magazine, didn't even look up at her name being called. She just hummed, "Leave them alone, Barton. Eat your worms."</p>
<p>Clint snatched the worms out of the bag and collapsed face first onto the couch by her with a pout. Tony dropped the box and looked around, "Where's Spangles?"</p>
<p>"He's getting Aj." Bruce replied, walking out of the kitchen with two bags of popcorn, "Did you get—"</p>
<p>"Yes, I got the twizzlers." Tony replied cutting him off. "I am not a snack rookie. <em>Jesus</em>."</p>
<p>Clint spoke up, but his voice was muffled by the cushion, "<em>What're we watching</em>?"</p>
<p>"We're letting Aj pick. Don't whine." Natasha replied.</p>
<p>"I wasn't gonna whine." Clint lifted his head and whined.</p>
<p>Steve came up a few minutes later letting them know that Aj was just cleaning up. He mentioned that she had been talking on the phone with the mystery guy. Josh Thompson. Tony had looked him up and was not impressed. He seemed nice, but he also seemed boring. It might have been Steve's saving grace though because Tony would let her date Steve before he let her date this guy. He was still holding out that Aj would let him set her up with a movie star though.</p>
<p>The elevator opened and Tony glanced over his shoulder to see Aj walk out. She seemed tiny in the sweater Tony had bought for Thor last Christmas. Her hair was braided into two French braids and the way she played with the bracelet on her right wrist told him she was nervous. Tony crossed the space with open arms, and she rolled her eyes before folding into them.</p>
<p>"I heard you broke my favorite mug."</p>
<p>"God, I <em>knew</em> you were gonna say something." Aj said pulling away from him with a chuckle.</p>
<p>Tony smirked and dragged her over toward the others. He tapped her arm, "I'm making a drink. You want the usual or warm and toasty?"</p>
<p>"Warm and toasty please." Aj replied with a smile.</p>
<p>Tony walked into the kitchen to quickly make a cup of hot chocolate, and he could hear Clint explaining the movie options to her. Hawkeye sounded extremely biased while talking. Everyone knew he wanted to watch the Back to the Future movies. After the hot chocolate was done, he two handfuls of tiny marshmallows in for her and moved back into the main space where his bar was.</p>
<p>"Now Indiana Jones series is also an option. Steve hasn't seen those either." Clint said, but he shook his head, "But <em>obviously</em>—"</p>
<p>"Stop with the commentary." Natasha replied. "The last choice is the Harry Potter series. According to ABC they're Christmas movies."</p>
<p>Aj, who Tony noticed was still standing where he had left her, wringing her hands, brightened, "All of them?"</p>
<p>"Well, it <em>is</em> a movie marathon." Bruce chuckled. "You a Harry Potter fan?"</p>
<p>"I actually have only seen the first two when they came out in theaters." Aj shrugged.</p>
<p>Tony's gaze snapped up to look at her, "How have you only seen the first two? I get why Capsicle hasn't seen them, but last I checked you weren't frozen for 70 years."</p>
<p>"I just never got around to it." Aj shrugged.</p>
<p>Clint clapped his hands, "Harry Potter it is. Steve's a muggle just like you, Aj."</p>
<p>"I don't know what that means." Steve shook his head with a tired shrug. Tony poured rum and Horchata into the hot chocolate and quickly poured himself a bourbon. He walked back over and handed the mug to Aj who took it with a wide smile. She still wasn't sitting, and he could still see the nervous energy in her eyes. He wouldn't press though. Tony would resist.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>The drink was warm in my hand and smelled sweet. Tony gave me a soft smile before taking the single seat to my right. Natasha was sitting at the arm of the long couch and Steve sat in the middle of that same couch. Bruce was on the love seat eating popcorn and Clint was rooting around in a box of snacks.</p>
<p>"I told you not to touch the sour straws." Tony snapped.</p>
<p>"I'm not! I'm looking for m&amp;m's!" Clint argued. "And hey, where's <em>my</em> spiked hot chocolate?"</p>
<p>"Do I <em>look</em> like your maid?"</p>
<p>"<em>Well</em>..."</p>
<p>"Fuck you, Barton."</p>
<p>I rubbed my thumb around the lid once before quickly setting it down on the coffee table in front of me. Eyes focused on me at the movement and I couldn't help but fidget with the bracelet on my right hand. Natasha set down her magazine and narrowed her eyes at me.</p>
<p>"You good?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "Yes. Yes, I am. I just wanted to…" I rocked back on my heels and nodded again. Just bite the bullet. I decided I was going to do this, so I was going to do this. I sucked in a breath, "I wanted to say <em>I'm sorry.</em> I got angry this morning and I snapped at you guys and you didn't deserve that and I—"</p>
<p>"<em>Aj</em>." Natasha cut me off mid-apology. I still had a lot left planned in my head. "We appreciate the apology, but it isn't necessary. Everyone has bad days. What you consider snapping wasn't even <em>half</em> of what we've seen from each other."</p>
<p>I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, and she continued, "We're a family and we care for another, but that doesn't mean we always get along. Look at the personalities in this room. Do you <em>really</em> think we haven't been <em>absolutely infuriated</em> at one another?"</p>
<p>"Well, yeah, I assumed that but…"</p>
<p>"You know that <em>charming</em> wit that Tony has when he's being funny?" Natasha explained further, "He can use that <em>same</em> wit to be equally as cruel when his temper flares. He doesn't mean it. We don't hold it against him, but it happens."</p>
<p>Tony raised his hand, "All I heard was that you think I'm charming <em>and</em> funny?"</p>
<p>"Yeah." Clint ignored Tony and pointed back to Steve, "Once, I ignored<em> Steven Grant Rogers</em> for a full <em>two</em> <em>weeks</em>. A straight cold shoulder. All because he said Hubert Van Innis, the Olympics dude, was a better shot than me." There was a beat of silence where Clint's features fell in annoyance. He turned around, "Actually, <em>you know what</em>, I'm <em>still</em> a little pissed about that."</p>
<p>Steve rolled his eyes and spoke next, ignoring Clint's glare, "Bruce is the worst because he knows how to control his temper enough to be levelheaded when he lectures us."</p>
<p>I glanced at Bruce and he gave me a small smirk and shrug. Tony cleared his throat and pointed to Steve again, "And <em>every</em> single person in this room has been on the receiving end of a <em>Captain America temper tantrum</em>—"</p>
<p>"<em>Hey</em>—" Steve complained.</p>
<p>"He calls them lectures, but we know what it is." Tony finished then added, "Steve has <em>also</em> been on the receiving end himself from <em>every</em> single one of us." Everyone in the room nodded and Steve avoided my gaze. "Because <em>every</em> time he slips into that little suit you think is <em>oh</em> <em>so</em> sexy—" My face went bright red and I shot Tony a glare that didn't deter him, "—he does some <em>real</em> stupid shit."</p>
<p>I laughed and used the sleeve of my sweater to rub at the bridge of my nose. As if I could rub the embarrassment away. Clint motioned for me to take my seat. I mumbled a quick thanks, picked up my mug, and then settled right beside Natasha. Tony told JARVIS to darken the windows, dim the lights, and start the first Harry Potter movie.</p>
<p>"I <em>am</em> sorry I snapped at you this morning though, Nat." I whispered.</p>
<p>She gave me a soft smile and pulled me into a small hug. She whispered back something in Russian, but her tone was kind and honeyed. I didn't even need to know what she said. It made me feel better regardless. Clint dropped down in the seat beside Bruce with a grin, immediately digging his hand into the man's bowl of popcorn, and Steve leaned forward to grab something from the snack box. My eyes widened when he handed me a pack of sour straws with a smile. I took it happily and settled in as the movie began to play.</p>
<p>In the dimly lit room, Clint spoke up again, "Seriously though, how could you think he was a better shot than me? I don't give a <em>damn</em> if he won gold medals, I'm <em>fucking</em> Hawkeye."</p>
<p>"Can <em>fucking</em> Hawkeye give it a rest?" Steve replied with a sigh.</p>
<p>I faked a gasp and turned to look at him, "<em>Steven</em>. You kiss your mother with that mouth?"</p>
<p>Even in the dimly lit room, I could see Steve's eyes widen and his cheeks darken. Once he noticed my smirk a small smile formed on his own lips, but it quickly fell when Tony barked out, "Yeah, Captain, watch your <em>fucking</em> language."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Hypothetically Speaking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: I didnt realize how short this one was until I started editing. Oops. Leave me your thoughts anyways? (:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>                                                           </p>
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  <em>"I think it's brave that you get up in the morning even if your soul is weary and your bones ache for rest. </em>
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<p>
  <em>I think it's brave that you keep on living even if you don't know how to anymore. </em>
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  <em>I think it's brave that you push away the waves rolling in every day and you decide to fight. </em>
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  <em>I know there are days when you feel like giving up but I think it's brave that you never do." –Lana Rafeala</em>
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<p>Four days until Christmas. It felt like this year had just flown by. The first half being a blur of blood and bruises, then the last three months being a blur of laughs and hugs. Overall, quite an odd year for myself. Not one I wasn't happy for though. For the first time in a long time, I <em>wanted</em> to celebrate Christmas. I had a pile of presents in my closet ready to deliver to all the people I now had in my life. Just yesterday I had delivered the gifts I bought for the Jones' family to their house along with the usual school stipend. It wasn't much. A set of ties for Brandon, a new set of pots and pans for Amber, and some fancy art stuff for Mj. Steve had helped me pick out the art stuff since I all I knew about art was that you sometimes used paper and pencil to do it. I also picked up some scarves for May and the Millennium Falcon Lego set for Peter to use with his friend Ned. Sam had also gone home for Christmas already, to spend it with his family, so I gave him his gift early.</p>
<p>"Is it snowing where you are?" I asked curiously while watching white flakes fall outside the coffee shop window I sat in front of.</p>
<p>"At this exact moment, no, but we have a solid few inches on the ground right now." Bucky replied. "Have for a while."</p>
<p>"It doesn't snow in Alabama. When I moved up here, that first winter…as dorky as it sounds, it looked <em>magical</em>. Like in the movies." I said without much thought. My eyes watched the flakes outside land and collect. "I thought I'd get used to it and the awe would wear off, but… I still <em>really</em> like it. You?"</p>
<p>"Me?"</p>
<p>"Do you like snow?"</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled, "I used to. Not so crazy about it anymore. I almost wish I had chosen to hide out on a beach."</p>
<p>"I can see it." I grinned at the mental picture. "Wide brimmed straw hat, mixed drink in a coconut, board shorts, and the sunlight glinting off that <em>badass</em> arm. Don't forget your sunscreen."</p>
<p>Bucky let out a bark of laughter. I had noticed that the more we talked the more he laughed. The first few conversations we had he could do that deep chuckle, but after a week of talking to him he felt like he was in a better mood. I made it my mission in life to try and make him laugh anytime we got on the phone together. A guy like him, with the darkness he's had to endure, he could use a little laughter in his life. He <em>deserved</em> it.</p>
<p>"I like the sound of your laugh." I said aloud. My eyes widened slightly at my own words. Why did I just say these things? Why couldn't I have an internal filter like normal human beings?</p>
<p>"You flirting with me, doll?" Bucky asked slyly.</p>
<p>I smirked to myself, "<em>Hah</em>, you wish."</p>
<p>"Maybe I do."</p>
<p>My cheeks felt warm and I glanced around the coffee shop as if anyone would be watching me right now. I lifted my half empty mug and took another sip of the coffee I had ordered nearly an hour ago. It was cold now, but I didn't care.</p>
<p>"Hey, Bucky?" I asked and he hummed. "Do you think we would've been friends if we met in 1940?"</p>
<p>"What makes you ask that?"</p>
<p>I shrugged and buried my chin in the scarf I still wore, "I don't know. Just curious."</p>
<p>"Doll, if we had met in 1940, I would've tried to sweep you off your feet."</p>
<p>I let out a small laugh, "Me? <em>Really</em>? There's <em>no way</em> I wouldn't be <em>just</em> as big of a disaster in the 40s as I am now."</p>
<p>"Oh, I would hit on anything that moved back then." Bucky replied.</p>
<p>"That makes more sense."</p>
<p>"But you wouldn't have given me the time of day." He chuckled to himself.</p>
<p>My jaw fell open in surprise, "Now <em>that</em> is a joke. You're joking." He hummed an argument and I continued, "The first thing my busted brain said to you was something along the lines of '<em>you have pretty eyes' </em>and you <em>think</em>…"</p>
<p>"I'm serious." Bucky said. "My hair was shorter back then, I <em>used</em> to be pretty charismatic, and I'd use my Army Service Uniform to try and show off—"</p>
<p>I laughed loudly, "If <em>that</em> is your argument as to why I would blow you off…<em>buddy</em>, you are <em>not</em> winning this argument. Uniforms make me weak in the knees."</p>
<p>"I'll have to keep that in mind." Bucky mumbled in amusement. He continued, "But, nah, I would've hit you with one of my lame lines and—"</p>
<p>"Whoa, whoa, whoa." I blurted out. "Say it."</p>
<p>"Say it? <em>Now</em>?"</p>
<p>"I need the <em>full</em> picture, Barnes." I scoffed and leaned my elbows on the table I was talking at, "Right now. <em>Woo me, soldier</em>."</p>
<p>"Alright." Bucky said softly. There was a pause, and I had hoped I hadn't crossed a line and pushed him into doing something that made him uncomfortable. I was only joking. Before I could say that though, he cleared his throat and spoke in a quieter, still just as husky voice, "Doll, I wanna do things so wild with you that I don't even know how to say 'em."</p>
<p>My face went bright red. I knew it did. Hell, I could feel it. I was radiating enough heat that if I stepped outside I'd melt the top layer of frost and snow within a ten foot radius of myself. It was hardly even the words. His voice alone… <em>Jesus Christ</em>, the universe made men different back then because <em>hot damn</em>.</p>
<p>"You still there, doll?" Bucky chuckled.</p>
<p>"Wow. Ok. <em>Hoo boy</em>." I said slowly and cleared my own throat. I took a sip of my cold coffee, "I, uh, I'm gonna give you the win. I'd say Bucky Barnes in his Army greens with <em>that</em> pickup line would have 40s me melting into a puddle. If you spent the time to mop me up, then you could easily carry me away."</p>
<p>Bucky let out another laugh, "No, no. You're biased right now. You met me as <em>Toska</em>."</p>
<p>"I got to know <em>you</em>, dumbass, I didn't just get to know your <em>fake name</em>."</p>
<p>"Trust me, Aj." Bucky said. "I would've walked up to you in the dance hall or bar, dropped that line at your feet, and you would've decked me in the face. And, that'd be it. I'd be a <em>goner</em>."</p>
<p>"Ok, firstly, I do <em>not</em> just go swinging wildly." I replied though I knew it was a lie. If a stranger, no matter how good looking, hit me up with a pickup line while I was minding my business, I would've decked him into the next era. "And also, is that it? Is <em>that</em> what gets you going? Getting punched in the face?"</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled, "I had it too easy back then. Like I said, I was charismatic. Charming, even."</p>
<p>"Yeah, because you're just a <em>real</em> charm black hole right now." I mumbled.</p>
<p>"Back then, I never met a dame like you." Bucky said softly. "Someone who's so—"</p>
<p>"Annoying? Obnoxious? Stubborn? Temperamental?" I suggested.</p>
<p>Bucky let a beat pass between us before he answered, "No. Strong willed. Passionate. <em>Bold</em>." I let my finger circle the rim of my mug. He let out a small sigh before speaking up again, it sounded like he was mostly speaking to himself, "You're worth more than a cheap chat up line from a guy who thought he was hot stuff."</p>
<p>"Hmm", I said slowly, "I think I would've liked you eventually. Maybe I would've decked you, but…You have a good heart. I found it in this era, I think I'd see it in that one too."</p>
<p>Bucky let out a chuckle, but it was one of the sad ones I didn't like, "I think you give me too much credit, doll."</p>
<p>"I don't think you give yourself enough."</p>
<p>For a minute, the two of us sat in comfortable silence. I watched the snow drift down and collect on the outside, iron patio furniture. In another time, in another place. Hypotheticals were fun, but they were just hypothetical.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Clint picked up the box again but dropped it when he heard Natasha yell at him from the kitchen. Two boxes had come in for Aj, both from Rosie. He wanted to immediately know what was in them, but according to the others that was illegal and rude or something. He just wanted to peek. Just a little.</p>
<p>The elevator doors opened, and he saw Aj walk in, hair covered in snowflakes. The snowy look fit right in with the bright, cheerful Christmas decorations that filled the penthouse. Tony had people come in over the weekend and put everything up including a giant, decorated Christmas tree. Clint was still trying to find a way to sneak mistletoe in for obvious reasons. Tony was his only obstacle at this point.</p>
<p>"Aj! Come!" Clint ushered her over.</p>
<p>With a curious look, Aj jogged over to the dining room table. Her eyes landed on the boxes in front of him, "What's this?"</p>
<p>"Rosie sent you boxes. Open them now."</p>
<p>"Nosy." Aj chirped with a grin. She grabbed the long, rectangular box first. Aj looked for an edge to open, and when she couldn't find it, he pulled out a knife and slide it across the tape. Aj gave him a look of confusion, "Why do you wanna see my boxes so bad?"</p>
<p>Clint nodded, "You nailed it the first time. I'm nosy."</p>
<p>Aj accepted that answer and opened the box only to find more confusion. Clint peered over her shoulder at the red, white, and blue outfit inside the box. Aj pulled it out to hold it up and Clint immediately recognized it as the outfits the Captain America dancers would wear back in the 40s.</p>
<p>"What the hell?" Aj said slowly. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and dialed a number. She tossed the rather revealing outfit back into the box, but Clint was quick to pick it back up. "Granny? Hey! I just got your packages." There was a beat of silence. "Yeah, what's up with the <em>stripper</em> outfit?"</p>
<p>Clint snatched the phone out of her hand and hit speaker with a wide grin. Aj shot him a glare but didn't correct him. Rosie's voice filled the air around them, "It is <em>not</em> a stripper outfit, Aimee Jane!"</p>
<p>"It's the USO dancer outfits from the 40s. Cap's girls or whatever." Clint said.</p>
<p>"Yes, exactly!" Rosie chirped. "Thank you, Clint. It's a real one, from that era, and I thought Steve might want to keep it."</p>
<p>Aj shook her head, "Eh, I don't think he'll fit into it, Granny."</p>
<p>Clint could almost hear the older woman rolling her eyes. Rosie scoffed, "It's a <em>relic</em>, Aimee Jane."</p>
<p>"Why do <em>you</em> have it?"</p>
<p>"I wasn't always old, you know. I was young and pretty once."</p>
<p>"I know that, Granny. I've seen the pictures. You were a babe. Still are." Aj replied, "I meant, <em>why</em> did you have a Captain America dancer girl relic?" There was a beat of silence before Aj smirked, "Oh my God, you've worn this before, haven't you?"</p>
<p>Rosie gasped, "It was one time <em>ages</em> ago! I just thought Steve Rogers might like to see something from his time."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah." Aj chuckled, "When are you getting here tomorrow?" Rosie didn't reply, and Clint watched her smile fall from her face. Aj spoke up again, "Granny?"</p>
<p>Rosie sighed, "There was an emergency."</p>
<p>"What? <em>Are you ok?</em> Granny?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine, dear. I'm fine." Rosie said quickly. "The emergency was…Aubrey." Aj's entire body stiffened beside him. She sucked in a sharp breath and Rosie continued, "About two weeks ago, she asked me to watch her kids for her. She said there was an emergency with her husband and just left."</p>
<p>Aj's eyes darted back and forth in thought, "Is she ok, Granny?"</p>
<p>Clint shot Aj a look that the woman ignored or didn't notice. There was such tender care in the way Aj asked the question. The way a sister would ask about a sister in a normal relationship. No heat or pain or malice. Just concern.</p>
<p>"She says she's fine. I don't know why she left all of a sudden." Rosie replied, "But now I have to stay in Summerbrooke with the kids."</p>
<p>"Ok, I understand." Aj said firmly, biting back her disappointment, "I'll mail you your gifts and facetime you on Christmas. I wish you could be here, Granny."</p>
<p>Rosie sighed, "I know, dear. I'm so sorry, but the kids need me here. They're so young."</p>
<p>Clint didn't mention his opinion that their mother should be there with them or let slip the dig he had in mind at Aj's sister's decision-making skills. Aj spoke to Rosie a little longer, the joy Aj had on her face when she first walked in dulled now. Rosie told her the second box was filled with sweaters for her and all the Avengers. While they spoke, Clint opened the box for Aj. The sweaters were atrocious, and he <em>loved</em> them. They were Avengers themed ugly Christmas sweaters. His was a purple and black with stitched arrows and decorating it. Natasha's was black and red with the hourglass design.</p>
<p>Aj hung up with Rosie and she picked up the sweater meant for her. It was white, blue, and gray with the big fancy Avengers <em>'A'</em> in the center. Clint pulled on his sweater over his shirt and nodded at her, "Hey, can I ask you something?"</p>
<p>"Wow. You're <em>asking</em> me if you can ask me?" Aj chuckled. "This must be bad."</p>
<p>"If your sister had something happen, and she asked you for a favor…reached out to you and asked for help out of the blue…" Clint nodded once, "You would do it wouldn't you?"</p>
<p>Aj didn't speak at first. She stared down at the sweater in her hands, letting her thumbs rub over the soft material. She glanced back up and met his gaze, "Yeah. I would. She's my sister, Clint."</p>
<p>"She <em>abandoned</em> you." Clint said firmly.</p>
<p>"I know, but…I <em>love</em> her." Aj said. There was misery in her voice, "I don't trust her. I don't think I ever can, but—but she's <em>blood</em>. I've <em>always</em> taken care of her, Clint. I don't think I could just stop. Not if she asked me."</p>
<p>Clint shook his head and reached out to pull her into his side, "You're too good, kid. I think it'd do you good to be a little more selfish sometimes."</p>
<p>Aj wrapped her arm around him and rolled her eyes, "Whatever." She felt the skirt of the USO dancer outfit again, "What are we gonna do with this? Donate it to a museum? Do you think Steve would actually want it?"</p>
<p>"He would if <em>you</em> had it on." Clint mumbled. Aj's head snapped to the side to stare at him, and he gave her a smirk, "You could wear it for him Christmas morning. Old man would have a <em>fucking</em> stroke."</p>
<p>Aj pushed him away and scooped up the other sweaters, "I think you've hit your head a little too many times in battle, Barton."</p>
<p>"You sound like Tasha when you say that." Clint huffed. Aj gave him a wink and walked away to deliver the sweaters. Clint glanced back down at the USO outfit and slid it into the box. The outfit would only make Steve fall even harder. That side of this needed no help from him. Clint's attention would be better focused on the mistletoe.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>I slammed my fists into the bag, another round of uppercuts, then let my eyes drift over to where I had a YouTube video playing on my Stark Pad off to the side. You could learn anything off the internet these days including how to be a public relations specialist. In fact, I literally googled, <em>'What do public relation specialists do?</em>'. This was my seventh video and I was starting to get a general idea of what I would be responsible for.</p>
<p>"Interviews." I mumbled. Pepper and Maria Hill had told me both Stark Industries and SHIELD fielded a number of interview requests daily. Now that I had this job, I would need to take over on that. Could the Avengers even do an interview? All I could picture was Clint swaggering onto a late night talk show in his sweatpants eating day old pizza and dropping curses on live TV in front of the host. "Oh no."</p>
<p>I went back to the bag with a repetitive jab, cross, hook combo. It actually felt weird to work in the gym alone on the bag. These days I almost always had an Avenger in here with me to spar with. It was actually kind of nice. After my arms began to shake, I switched over to a variety of kicks. Despite incorporating kickboxing into my fighting style, I actually hated kicking. It was a great tool to have in a fighting arsenal. Legs had more power and hitting someone with your heel or shin hurt a lot less than slamming your knuckles against their hard skull. I had a bad hip though. Not in a 90-year-old, <em>'oh the rain makes my bones hurt'</em> kind of bad hip though. My left hip was <em>tight</em>. I had limited range and it hurt to try to properly kick so I just got used to not doing it.</p>
<p>After a few strained kicks, my phone began to ring. I grabbed my water bottle, took a quick swig of it, then answered my phone with a breathless greeting, "Hello?"</p>
<p>"Hello, is this Ms. Aimee Bradshaw?" An unfamiliar man asked.</p>
<p>"Yuppers. Who's this?"</p>
<p>The voice cleared his throat, "My name is Detective Ryan Jones. I'm currently working on a case that I believe you may be involved with."</p>
<p>I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion, "Sorry? I'm not sure…"</p>
<p>"Are you familiar with a Eugene and Vincent Morgan?" My blood ran cold at the names and I sucked in a sharp breath. That must have been answer enough because the Detective continued, "I thought so. We're trying to tie Vincent Morgan to a number of cases out in Las Vegas, on top of what he did here in New York, and we think his brother has information that will help us."</p>
<p>I shook my head, my jaw tight, "Yeah, and what the <em>hell</em> do you need me for?"</p>
<p>"Eugene—"</p>
<p>"<em>Stop saying his name</em>." I snapped. It just slipped out. I hated talking about Boss, I hated thinking about him, and I hated hearing his name. He was out of my life officially. So why, oh why, was I <em>constantly</em> reminded of him? "Sorry, I just…What do you want?"</p>
<p>Detective Jones sighed, "He has agreed to provide us with the information we need at a cost." I closed my eyes, already knowing where this was going, "He wants to see you."</p>
<p>I yanked the phone away from my face and sat down on the mat. This was a surefire way to kill my Christmas spirit. I had been having a good day today too. From the speaker, I could hear the man calling out to me repeatedly. I sighed and put the phone to my ear again, "Do you even understand what you're asking me?"</p>
<p>"I'm asking you to help us put away a very bad man." Detective Jones said sharply, "Vincent Morgan has hurt a lot of people. It was your friend he shot, wasn't it?" I flinched and the man continued, "That's just a sliver of the evil he's done. You have the chance to help us bring him to justice."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I get that, Detective Jones, but I…"</p>
<p>The last words I said to him were supposed to be just that—<em>my last words to him</em>. Mentally, I swore that it would be the last time I looked at his weaselly face. The elevator doors opened, and I watched Steve jog out of it. His hurried steps slowed when he spotted me. Steve's eyebrows of worry were in full effect.</p>
<p>"Aj?" He questioned. JARVIS must have snitched on my heartrate and stress levels.</p>
<p>"Ms. Bradshaw." Detective Jones spoke again. "I know I must be asking a lot of you. If there were any other options, I would explore them, but this is all I have."</p>
<p>Steve finally reached me and knelt down beside me. He reached out and set a hand on my shoulder. I kept my gaze on the blue of his eyes. He had heard what the Detective said, but he didn't know everything. Confusion mingled with his concern. I couldn't help but wonder what he would do. They could make a bracelet out of that. '<em>What Would Steve Rogers Do?</em>' The world saw him as a saint. A patriotic hero, unyielding morality, and a firm penchant for justice and laws. I knew he was more than that. Steve Rogers was a <em>good man.</em> He didn't blindly follow laws, he did what he knew was <em>right</em>. No matter what. It didn't matter if rules or fear stood in his way. Steve Rogers did the <em>right thing</em>.</p>
<p>"When do you want me to come in?" I asked softly.</p>
<p>"Right now would be ideal, but we can always work around your schedule."</p>
<p>"I'll be there in the hour."</p>
<p>Midway through the Detective thanking me I hung up the phone. Steve took my hand in his, "Be where in the hour?"</p>
<p>"Can you do me a favor, Steve?" I asked. "We can't tell the others and I… I <em>really</em> don't wanna go alone."</p>
<p>Steve squeezed my hand, "<em>Anything</em>. Name it."</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>The trip to Brooklyn didn't take long on his bike. Steve thought a car would've been better, but Aj insisted on taking the bike. To be honest, he had always planned to bring her out to Brooklyn. Steve wanted to show her where him and Bucky grew up, even if it wasn't entirely the same anymore. He hadn't ever expected the trip to include a visit to the Metropolitan Detention Center, and when he brought her to this neighborhood, he had planned on her being in better spirits.</p>
<p>Aj held his hand in a vice grip and he could feel the tremble in her arm. Steve had seen many faces of the woman beside him. He had seen her teeth bared facing down a woman three times her size, he had seen her drunk with laughter and joy, burning with anger, mischievous, focused… he had seen her broken with sadness. This though, this was the first time he had seen her afraid. <em>Terrified</em>. Steve always thought seeing her sad was his least favorite, but as it turns out, it was this.</p>
<p>Steve <em>hated</em> seeing her afraid.</p>
<p>"You don't have to do this." Steve whispered.</p>
<p>She squeezed his hand again, straightened her posture, then turned to look him in the eyes, "You would do this."</p>
<p>Steve lifted her hand in his and pressed his lips to the back of it, "He <em>hurt</em> you. Aj, you do <em>not</em> have to do this."</p>
<p>"He could tell us something. Something that will help the detective tie Vincent to crimes and maybe even help SHIELD find him." Aj replied with a shake of her head, "I know you guys haven't had much luck with it."</p>
<p>The detective Aj spoke to on the phone came back into the small waiting room they were in. The short, brunet man nodded, "It's time, Ms. Bradshaw. Only one can come back."</p>
<p>"I can't bring Steve in with me?" Aj asked with a steeled voice.</p>
<p>Detective Jones opened his mouth to reply, and Steve lifted his own gaze to level a glare at the man. He paused and sighed, "But I'm sure we can bend the rules this time. We can call it the <em>Captain America clause</em>."</p>
<p>Steve gave the man a thankful nod. The detective motioned to the door with a nod of his own, "When you're ready."</p>
<p>Aj stared at the door taking in steady breaths and Steve just stared at her. Facing down demons was never easy, but the fact that Aj was willing to face down her biggest one yet was one of the reasons she had grown so dear to him.</p>
<p>Aj was <em>strong</em>.</p>
<p>"I won't leave your side." Steve whispered.</p>
<p>Aj nodded, squeezed his hand again, then pulled him through the door with her. This was the first time he was seeing the man who hurt her in person. Eugene Morgan was the kind of man who looked like bad news. His features were sharp, his face pinched, and he had eyes so brown they were nearly black. Eugene's greasy blond hair was slicked back and the moment he set his eyes on Aj his lips turned up into a smug, poisonous grin.</p>
<p>"<em>Pet</em>." He called out. "Oh, how I've missed you."</p>
<p>Aj's fear hardened and Steve could see her mind steel itself for what was to come. As terrified as she was, she was not going to show it to him. She sat down in the chair across from Eugene. Dividers on either side of them and only a sheet of plexi glass between them. Steve set his hands on her shoulders.</p>
<p>"And <em>look</em>!" Eugene laughed, "You brought your <em>new</em> master, didn't you?"</p>
<p>"Watch it." Steve snapped. Hearing from Clint how Aj got her scars had filled him with rage. Seeing the man who caused it sitting across from him with a sickening grin did absolutely nothing to help. It took every ounce of his strength to not tear through the thin glass that separated them and put <em>double</em> every mark that he had put on Aj.</p>
<p>Eugene chuckled, "Aw, is he <em>more</em> than just a master? Did you <em>put out</em> for Captain—"</p>
<p>"You have five fucking minutes to talk to me." Aj replied sharply before Steve could open his mouth to snap again. She tilted her head, and Steve squeezed her shoulder, "Are you gonna spend it making the same <em>sick</em> jokes you always did, or do you have something new to say to me?"</p>
<p>The bastard's smile fell into a frown, "I see you still haven't learned to <em>bite that tongue</em>."</p>
<p>"I see you're still a <em>piece of shit</em>." Aj hit back without hesitation. "And that orange is <em>really</em> your color."</p>
<p>Steve smirked to himself and bit back a chuckle of amusement. Aj was a force to be reckoned with. She would not cower; she would not bow.</p>
<p>"I just wanted to check up on you, pet." Eugene said slowly. "I heard my big brother paid you a visit." Aj didn't reply, and the man chuckled. "The fact that you're still alive means he didn't do what I wanted. Though, Vinny rarely does. He was always jealous, you know? Mom loved me best."</p>
<p>Aj scoffed, "Yeah, your mom raised some <em>real</em> winners."</p>
<p>"That's ok though. I think this will work out for the better." Eugene said. He leaned forward with a sickly smirk, "See, because I think it'll be so much better when <em>I kill you myself</em>."</p>
<p>Steve glared at the man at his words and his hands tightened on Aj's shoulders. She lifted a hand of her own and set it on top of his. She shook her head, "Right. Do you plan on killing me before or after your outside break in the yard? Do they even have a yard? Where do the big, tough guys beat the shit outta you here?"</p>
<p>"Joke all you want." Eugene replied, "Keep hiding behind that snark and humor, but I told you. I told you, and I brought you here today so I could tell you again… I am going to get out, and I am going to kill you." He let out a bark of laughter, "Oh, pet, I am going to make you wish you <em>never</em> let me live."</p>
<p>Aj stood up suddenly and shook her head, "Jokes on you, I already wish that."</p>
<p>She abruptly turned and left. Steve lingered behind for a moment, his eyes still narrowed into a glare. Eugene chuckled to himself as he stared back, "Is this the part where you threaten to kill me first? Would <em>the</em>Captain America ever get his hands dirty like that?"</p>
<p>"No. This is the part where I make you a <em>promise</em>. If you <em>ever</em> put your hands on her again, I <em>will</em> kill you." Steve said. "And Steve Rogers would have no qualms with doing that. I wouldn't lose a second of sleep."</p>
<p>Eugene's smile faltered, and Steve left him on that. He turned and hurried out of the room. Aj was standing where they had been before with her eyes shut tightly and her arms wrapped around herself. He mumbled her name, and her bright eyes snapped open to meet his. She didn't hesitate. Aj closed the space and buried herself in his arms, and Steve had no problem wrapping his own arms around her just as tightly.</p>
<p>"You did it. It's over." Steve mumbled in her hair. "I'm proud of you. He's never going to touch you, and you never have to see him again."</p>
<p>The detective came back to them, thanking her profusely, before walking them out to the front again. Steve helped her slip back into the jacket that once belonged to Bucky, and he tightened the scarf around her neck.</p>
<p>"I have an idea." Steve said. He took her hand and led her out of the dreary building and back to his bike.</p>
<p>"Any idea has to be better than going to the MDC for the afternoon." Aj replied. Steve chuckled and grabbed the helmet off the handlebars of his bike. He turned to set it on top of her head. Aj jutted her lower lip out in a pout, "Do I have to wear the helmet? I don't look as cool with it on."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head with a laugh, "Safety is <em>always</em> cool."</p>
<p>"Says the guy that I <em>know</em> has jumped out of a plane without a parachute before."</p>
<p>"First off, you need to stop talking to Clint and Natasha about my old missions." Steve pointed at her. Aj's face broke out in a grin and her nose scrunched up when she laughed. He smiled to himself, "Second, yes you are going to wear the helmet."</p>
<p>Aj rolled her eyes in an exaggerated motion, "Fine. But only because you came with me today." Her eyes softened and Steve saw a flash of pain slip through that armor she wore. "Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you."</p>
<p>"No. You definitely could've." Steve replied. "If there's anything I've learned, it's that there's not much you can't do, Aj."</p>
<p>She smirked, "Oh, I can definitely name a few things I am not good at." Aj lightly slapped at his chest, "Now come on, you promised me a good idea."</p>
<p>"I was thinking spiked hot chocolate and baking Christmas cookies." Steve smiled, "Get back into that Christmas spirit."</p>
<p>"Oh, I like you a lot." Aj replied with a soft grin.</p>
<p>Steve got onto his bike and Aj slid on behind him. She wrapped her arms around his midsection, clasping her hands together, and he felt her lean her head against his back. Aj didn't want the other Avengers to know about this because she was worried that they would worry. She wasn't wrong. Steve wished he could tell them though because they'd be just as proud of her as he was. She faced down her biggest demon without blinking.</p>
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<p>JARVIS played Christmas music over the speakers as I danced around the kitchen in my red and green striped fuzzy socks. The smell of hot chocolate and sugar cookies was heavy in the air around us. It was hard to stay in a bad mood when you had sugar, alcohol, and good company.</p>
<p>"—<em>I just want you for my own</em>!" I sang loudly, "<em>More than you could ever know</em>!" With quick movements, I spun on the ball of my foot, "<em>Make my wish come true! All I want for Christmas is—</em>shit!"</p>
<p>The curse left my lips when my own socks betrayed me. My foot slipped, but before I could hit the ground Steve caught me with a loud laugh. I grinned at him while he righted my posture with a shake of his head, "I <em>will</em> kick you out of this kitchen."</p>
<p>"This is <em>my</em> kitchen!" I laughed.</p>
<p>"Our mission is to make and decorate delicious sugar cookies. I need you to stay on task." Steve slapped one hand into the other with a firm look on his features. "Can you man the frosting and sprinkles when the time comes, or do I need to bench you?"</p>
<p>I smirked and placed my hands on his chest while I bounced up and down in front of him, "Bench me? And get who to take my place? <em>Clint Barton</em>?"</p>
<p>Steve placed his hands on my elbows like he expected me to take another nose dive on the kitchen floor, which wasn't that far out there, "I would trust Clint with my life, but like hell I'd let him anywhere near these cookies."</p>
<p>"I just think you need to have more spiked hot chocolate." I shrugged.</p>
<p>"You finished yours and then drank half of mine if you don't remember." Steve said and I stuck my tongue out at him then slipped out of his grip to continue sliding across the floor. His gaze followed me around the room, "And also, the rum you poured in our drinks, no matter how heavy the pour, doesn't do anything to me."</p>
<p>I stopped spinning and slammed my hands on the kitchen island counter, "<em>Damn it</em>! I <em>forgot</em> about that!" Steve laughed, and I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout. "That's cheating."</p>
<p>"It really isn't." He shook his head and opened the fridge to pull out the sheet of Christmas shaped cookies we had put in there to cool down. The conversation topic of him not being able to be as tipsy as I was was quickly forgotten. "I think they're cool enough to decorate?"</p>
<p>I reached forward to touch one that was shaped like a candy cane, "Granny says they can't be warm at all or the frosting will melt."</p>
<p>It felt good enough to me. I grabbed the white frosting to start decorating the cookies. It took my entire focus to keep the frosting coming out of the tip to stay on the baked good. When I sloppily finished, I pulled away to look at it. It looked like a candy cane, at the very least, but the lines I meant to be straight were wonky. I was fine with the mediocre cookie until I looked up to see Steve expertly decorating a snowman shaped cookie.</p>
<p>"What the hell?" I cried. "How are you good at this? I thought we were both gonna suck!"</p>
<p>Steve smirked, but didn't look up from his task, "I have steady hands."</p>
<p>"<em>Damn artist</em>." I mumbled and picked up my ugly cookie to eat. At least it tasted good. He finished and glanced up at me with a questioning grin. I finished chewing the bite I had in my mouth, "My skills are more aligned with <em>eating</em> the project."</p>
<p>"Maybe my bet would've been safer with Clint." Steve shook his head.</p>
<p>I pointed at him with a frosting covered finger, "That's a damnable lie, Captain Rogers."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled and while he started working on the next cookie, I picked up the snowman one he finished to eat it. I watched him work for a minute or two. His face was so focused and serious as his hand frosted a Christmas tree. His attention to detail was adorable. Suddenly, my curiosity overcame me.</p>
<p>"Hey, Steve." I said.</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"What do you think would've happened if we met in the 40s?" I laced my hands together and leaned forward on the counter.</p>
<p>Steve stopped frosting in surprise and looked up across the island at me, "Huh?"</p>
<p>"Like would you still wanna be my friend or…?"</p>
<p>"Where is this coming from?" Steve raised an eyebrow at me.</p>
<p>I shrugged, "Just something I thought of."</p>
<p>Steve nodded once and then he glanced away in thought. I asked him hypothetical questions all the time, so this really wasn't out of the ordinary between the two of us. He hummed and lifted his thumb to quickly lick off a spot of frosting on it.</p>
<p>"I don't think you would've been all too impressed by me." Steve chuckled. "I definitely wouldn't have gotten that look of awe in your eyes that you had when we met. No, '<em>Steve fucking Rogers'</em> like the way you said, '<em>Captain fucking America'</em>."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "Ok, side note, I need you to let that go."</p>
<p>"I wasn't always…like this." Steve said slowly. "You know that, right?"</p>
<p>"Vaguely. You were kind of scrawny or something."</p>
<p>Steve laughed with a bob of his head, "Scrawny is a good word for it. Scrawny, sick, and constantly getting myself into fights."</p>
<p>"See?" I motioned to him with a grin, "The first and last part of that statement sounds just like me! We'd have things in common."</p>
<p>He barked with laughter again, "Yeah, ok, I guess that's true."</p>
<p>"Hold on, the correct answer was: '<em>Oh no, Aj, you're not scrawny!'</em>" I replied.</p>
<p>There was a beat where Steve shook his head in amusement, and I finished the cookie I had started eating. While chewing, I picked up the frosting again to get back to work. At this rate we'd be out of cookies before either of us could get around to frosting our third. Only a beat more passed before Steve chuckled again.</p>
<p>I glanced up to see he had continued to stare at me. With a smile, I tilted my head and he spoke, "I think I would've actually been in awe of <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>"Scrawny Steve looked up to idiots who didn't know when to shut up?" I questioned.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth, stopped himself, then let out a small breath of air. Steve took in a deep breath and restarted, "You're a <em>gorgeous</em> dame picking fights and standing up to assholes, no hesitation." I smiled at his compliment and rested my head between my hands. "Plus, if we had met…Bucky would've been there."</p>
<p>My eyes widened at the mention of his name, "<em>Bucky</em>."</p>
<p>"Yeah, Bucky. Without a doubt, he would've come onto you, and… I think you would've punched him."</p>
<p>It was honestly a little scary how the two of them thought so much alike. It was a testament to their relationship. They knew each other so well. His words finally settled on me though, and I lifted my head from my hands and scoffed, "I do <em>not</em> punch every person I meet!"</p>
<p>"Bucky is a good guy. A great one. Growing up, he was always my role model." Steve replied, "But he was also a skirt chaser, and I don't think you would've swooned like all those other dames."</p>
<p>I quickly shook my head. I didn't like talking about Bucky like this with Steve. It made the guilt I felt about my new secret weigh heavy on my heart. I cleared my throat, "That didn't answer me though. Awe, aside. Would you be my friend?"</p>
<p>"Absolutely." Steve said firmly. "It'd take me a minute and a half to figure out how to talk to you. Talking to pretty gals wasn't a strength of mine." He motioned toward me with a nod, "Do you think you'd still want to be friends with me? If I didn't have the serum running through my veins?"</p>
<p>I smirked, "From what I hear, the serum didn't change your core personality. While I do think your shoulder to hip ratio is <em>godly</em>—" Steve's face went red and I took pride that I could pull a blush out of him. I still owed him for that stunt he pulled in his room the morning after Thanksgiving. "I'm friends with who you are. Even though you have <em>shitty</em> taste in media—"</p>
<p>"Just because I don't like your favorite episode of the Office—" Steve laughed.</p>
<p>"Scott's Tots is <em>hilarious</em>."</p>
<p>"It <em>hurts</em> to watch, Aj."</p>
<p>We went back to decorating cookies while arguing about various episodes we had seen and the quality of each. As fun as it was to wonder what 40's Aj would be like, it didn't matter if she would've punched Bucky in the face or thought scrawny Steve was adorable. This timeframe me liked where I was and liked what I had.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Merry Chrysler</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Early again but I wanted to post something on the first day of the new year (Happy New Year everyone!) and also I need the serotonin I get from comments lol. Here's to 2021 being better than 2020. Lord knows the bar for it to be is pretty fucking low.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"She lives her life like a flame; a dance of purposeful chaos… Her enchanting light can guide you and quell your fears… She's hot; warming those who respect her and burning those who don't… She is a flame with an unforgettable glow… A weak man will try to dim her luminance… but her soul mate will take pleasure in fanning the blaze." —Steve Mariboli</em>
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<p>"Gift time you <em>heathens</em>!" Tony yelled loudly. It was third time trying to get our attention since most had chosen to ignore him the first two times. Christmas dinner was a more intimate affair than Thanksgiving had been, and it took place on the evening before Christmas rather than the actual holiday. Really, it was almost a normal family dinner night with the exception of Pepper and Betty being here. Rhodey wasn't here, he was with his own large family, and tomorrow morning Tony and Pepper actually were going to fly out and see them. Apparently, Tony, the guy who adopted any sad looking soul who stood still long enough, had been adopted by Rhodey's mom and family years ago. Bruce and Betty were also planning on leaving tomorrow morning for their own Christmas vacation. Thor wasn't here. He was either out in New Mexico with Jane or in Asgard. There was really no telling since he refused to carry a phone.</p>
<p>That left the usual crew to eat and drink while celebrating the holiday season. I was still bummed out that Granny couldn't come, but I had facetimed her earlier today and planned on calling her tomorrow too.</p>
<p>I threw myself onto the couch with a grin. Seconds later, Clint sprinted to the couch to throw himself on top of me. With a laugh, I tried to escape but it was all for naught. Hawkeye tackled me into the cushions. If I wasn't so tipsy it might've hurt.</p>
<p>"Children, calm down." Natasha smirked and took a seat beside us. Like the redhead, the others took open seats in the living space like normal human beings. Clint finally got off me, but the only reason he did was to hurry over to the tree and dig through wrapped gifts with Tony. The air was filled with conversation and laughter. I think I was more drunk off it than the many spiked eggnogs Clint kept shoving into my hands.</p>
<p>Tony and Clint were throwing out presents and my eyes widened as my pile grew. I knew the Avengers had gotten me gifts, but to see it in person was shocking. The last wrapped gift I had gotten was from a secret santa party my dorm threw freshman year in college. It had been an ugly ass sweater and not the fun Christmas kind.</p>
<p>"Alright, <em>my</em> gifts first." Tony demanded as he pointed around the circle. He still held a small red box with a golden bow on it. All his gifts were wrapped in shades of red and gold. He tossed me the box, and I caught it with ease. "That one's for you, sunshine."</p>
<p>I stared down at the suspiciously small box, "Tony Stark, if there are car keys in this box I will kick your ass." The group chuckled while opening their own gifts. Tony just smirked at me and I shook my head, "<em>Stark</em>."</p>
<p>"Open it already!" Tony replied.</p>
<p>I yanked the box off and opened the small box to see a Jeep. A wide grin spilt across my features as I pulled out a toy car that could fit in the palm of my had. It was a gray two-door Jeep. My eyes glanced up to meet Tony's. He was beaming at me, "Like it?"</p>
<p>"I <em>love</em> it." I replied with a laugh.</p>
<p>"Good. The life size model is in the garage."</p>
<p>My eyes widened and Pepper smacked him, "He's joking."</p>
<p>The other gifts Tony got for everyone were also small knick-knacks, and it was kind of funny to see the billionaire give such simple things. Clint had gotten a keychain shaped like a dumpster which everyone, expect him, thought was hilarious and fitting. Bruce went next, his gift was wrapped in a really pretty blue paper, and when I tore it open my eyes landed on a pack of Avenger themed fuzzy socks. I immediately tore open the pack while the others continued with their gifts and swapped the Christmas themed socks for the Hulk pair.</p>
<p>"You're gonna choose the Hulk pair when <em>mine</em> are literally <em>right there</em>?" Clint grabbed the purple Hawkeye ones to shove in my face and I kicked him back to the floor.</p>
<p>Natasha went next and I was surprised to see that everyone got something knitted. I pulled on the cozy, dark green beanie, "You knit?"</p>
<p>"It's relaxing." Natasha replied with a shrug, "Plus, it's the only hobby where I can also use the tools to stab someone with."</p>
<p>"She's not joking." Steve added while wrapping the blue and red scarf he got around his neck. Then around and around it went, with everyone opening their gifts. Clint's gifts were an absolute wreck. I got a random baseball cap with a small Captain America shield on the forehead, which I actually really liked, but Tony ended up with a too small plaid button up wrapped in a Walmart bag. Pepper got me a cute pair of earrings, claiming the price limit didn't apply to her since she was also thanking me for putting up with Tony, and Betty got me a book I had mentioned to Bruce that I wanted to read.</p>
<p>It didn't hit me until Tony picked up my gift, but I suddenly realized I was actually nervous. These were the Avengers for crying out loud and I picked out random less than $20 items for them to keep. Plus, after getting their cute gifts I just felt kind of lame. Would they like them? Think they were dumb?</p>
<p>For Tony, I got a giant white mug that read '<em>World's Okay-est Boss'</em>. He let out a bark of laughter when he read the words and immediately turned to show Pepper with a smirk.</p>
<p>For Clint, I framed the pet adoption papers he got me after signing my name at the bottom. His eyes lit up in excitement and he whipped around to brag to Tony that he had officially won custody.</p>
<p>For Natasha, I made her a blue and white braided bracelet that matched the red and black one I made for myself and now wore. We had joked about it on girls' night after watching a movie where the characters had matching bracelets. She smirked and used her free hand and teeth to tie it to her left wrist.</p>
<p>For Bruce, I had gotten him a set of two ties. One was light blue and covered in a cute little doodles of all sorts of science equipment, and the other was light green with a little gamma radiation sign at the bottom. Bruce chuckled, shooting me a thankful smile, and Betty leaned over to wrap the gamma radiation around his neck and loosely tie it sloppily over the tie he already wore.</p>
<p>For Steve, I had gotten him a vintage, bomber style, dark brown leather jacket. The fur around the neck was a light cream, but a little worn out. Steve stared at it with wide eyes while Tony immediately jumped up to claim I had broken the limit, but I jumped up to argue otherwise. I had found the jacket in a pawn shop and basically fist fought the guy for him to only charge me $19.98. Tony narrowed his eyes suspiciously and slowly sat down. Steve slid the jacket on, luckily it fit perfect, and he grinned at me.</p>
<p>Pepper and Betty had both gotten sweaters from me, and I had actually gone over the $20 limit for both of them. Not that I'd ever admit. I didn't need Clint chirping into my ear repeatedly about how I broke the rules.</p>
<p>Overall, it was a successful first Avengers Christmas Eve. All the cute gifts I had were amazing, but the warmth in my chest was the best gift of all. It had me feeling like a cheesy main character of some cheap ass Hallmark Christmas movie, but I didn't even care. The others began to disperse around the penthouse, but before I could get up, Steve crossed the space between us to sit next to me.</p>
<p>"Thanks for the jacket." He hummed while rubbing his hand down the front. Steve smirked, "You know this is the wrong era though."</p>
<p>"Ok, I actually <em>did</em> know that, thank you." I scoffed and he chuckled. "I just thought it'd look good on you and I was right."</p>
<p>Steve's smile softened and I watched as he pulled a wrapped square out from under the coffee table and held it up to me, "For you."</p>
<p>My eyes widened as I took the red and white gift from him, "What do you mean? You already gave me the blanket." Steve had bought random things for each person too, and I thought the thick, warm blanket he got me was perfect. I'd get to use it during every Netflix night we had. "You can't get me two things! I only got you one!"</p>
<p>"That was not one of our set rules." Steve shook his head with a grin. He shrugged nonchalantly, "The rule was under $20 and everything I got you totals to under that limit."</p>
<p>I twisted my lips into a fake pout and bumped my shoulder into his, not that it did much to his hulking form, "I'm getting you back for this."</p>
<p>"Just open it." Steve chuckled. I turned my attention to the gift and began to peel away the wrapping paper. Inside was a picture frame, but when I flipped it over I realized rather than being a camera taken photo it was a drawing. A sketch. It looked like it was done in pencil, but it was of me and Granny. She was beaming at me with a warm smile while I laughed. The art literally looked like a moment frozen in time though. With wide eyes and mouth agape, I snapped my head back to Steve. The blond was smiling, but he looked a little nervous as well, "What do, uh, what do you think?"</p>
<p>"You <em>drew</em> this?" I gasped, still in awe. Steve nodded once and I turned to look at it again. This was incredible. My own art skills were below zero, but I recognized amazing work when I saw it. A chuckle fell from my lips and I gave him a watery smile, "I don't even know what to say, Steve. I <em>love</em> it."</p>
<p>His nervous smile morphed into the one I was more familiar with and I didn't hesitate to throw my arms around him in a tight hug. As we pulled back from one another, I was startled by Clint who was standing inches away while leaning on the back of the couch.</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus</em>." I mumbled.</p>
<p>"No, it's Clint." He replied and I rolled my eyes. "I have another gift for you too, Aj."</p>
<p>Clint shoved a tiny box into my hands and my eyes narrowed at him in suspicion. Steve getting me a second gift was sweet and kind and perfect, but one coming from Clint screamed '<em>prank' </em>and<em> 'bad idea'</em>. Cautiously, I popped the top off with my thumb, expecting something to jump out at me, but instead a small cutting of some plant sat inside. It took me a second to realize it was mistletoe.</p>
<p>"Damn it, Barton." Steve snapped. I glanced up to see him glaring at Clint with pink tinted cheeks. The tips of his ears turned red. It was one of Steve's tell-tale signs that he was embarrassed.</p>
<p>"Wait, what the fuck did he do?" I heard Tony yell from somewhere across the room.</p>
<p>Steve turned to me, the panicked look in his eyes told me he was about to start stumbling over his words, but I rolled my eyes and reached out to grab his chin. I pulled him forward, turning his head a bit, and planted a kiss on his cheek, by the corner of his lips, for a few seconds. When I leaned back, Steve's entire expression could only be described as soft.</p>
<p>"Whoa, hold on, what the <em>hell</em> was that?" Clint complained. "On the <em>cheek</em>? What sort of <em>kindergarten bullshit</em> is this? I expected on the lips at least, maybe some tongue—"</p>
<p>His words were cut off when something hit the back of his head and exploded in hunks of already melting snow. Clint spun around and saw Tony holding another snowball that he must have gotten off the snow covered deck. He pelted it, Clint ducked, and then Steve reached out to pull us down as well, so the chunk of snow flew over our heads as well.</p>
<p>"Don't start something you can't finish, Stark!" Clint yelled and sprinted to the deck doors.</p>
<p>Pepper, who was standing beside Natasha at the bar, both with mugs of something warm, shook her head, "My boyfriend is twelve."</p>
<p>"Lucky. Mine is <em>seven</em>." Natasha rolled her eyes. Still, the two of them watched their loved ones wrestle outside on the deck in the snow with small smiles of affection drawn on their features. Clint shoved a handful down the back of Tony's shirt, and then Tony retaliated by pushing down on Clint's head so his face pressed into the snow that collected on the deck floor.</p>
<p>"I, uh, I didn't put him up to that, I swear." Steve cleared his throat.</p>
<p>I chuckled and hugged the picture frame to my chest, "I know. Still, sorry I just grabbed and kissed you. I figured cheek would be a safe bet, but I still should've asked. I just wanted to shut the bird man up."</p>
<p>"No, it's fine! More than fine. Not more than I just mean…" Steve sucked in a breath while I chuckled at him. He smirked, "So? How's this Christmas going so far? We doing ok?"</p>
<p>I grinned, "More than ok. This might just be the best Christmas I've ever had, and yes, part of the reason for that is because Tony is currently drowning Clint in three inches of snow."</p>
<p>Steve laughed and I leaned against his shoulder to stare down at my newest Christmas gift a little more. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we both settled back into the couch.</p>
<p>How'd I get so lucky?</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Once upon a time, Christmas was his favorite holiday. He didn't remember that until recently. Aj had told him a story of how she always wanted to go ice skating, and it resurfaced an old memory he thought was lost. Steve and him taking Rebecca all the way out to Central Park so they could skate. Of the three of them, Rebecca was the only one who could stay on her feet. Walking home in slightly damp clothes from busting his ass so many times hadn't even bothered him. The memory was too happy to be soiled by the cold. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. Talking to Aj would shed light to old memories buried deep in his brain.</p>
<p>It was one of the many reasons why he loved talking to her.</p>
<p>When he had originally called her, he knew it had been a terrible, terrible idea. Every survival instinct in him screamed that it was a mistake. Bucky <em>had</em> to know she was okay though. He couldn't really explain it, but he <em>needed</em> to hear her say she was okay. The call was supposed to be a one-time thing. A quick conversation followed by broken burner phones and the suppression of his memory of her. The moment she asked him if they could talk again though… <em>God</em>, he had wished he had been stronger.</p>
<p>A good man would've told her no, but Bucky didn't feel like a good man anymore.</p>
<p>He couldn't resist indulging in that selfish desire.</p>
<p>Talking to her numbed the ache in the back of his mind. Ever since they started, he hadn't had a missing identity day since. Bucky still had nightmares. He didn't think anything would ever halt the overwhelming dreams of blood and death. Hell, he had come to terms with the fact that he <em>deserved</em> it. It was <em>his</em> hands who took those lives, shouldn't he live the rest of his own life haunted by the fact? It only seemed fair. Whenever he woke up from those nightmares though, he remembered who he was. There were still moments. Times where his consciousness would drift away and he felt the tether to who he was slipping away, but it never lasted as long as it usually did.</p>
<p>Bucky felt like he was on solid ground today. He had a good grasp on his mental state. The problem was that a holiday like this reminded him of everything he had lost. As hard as he tried, he couldn't remember the last Christmas he spent with his mother and sister. That's what he had been doing for the past hour. Sitting at this small patio table in a beautifully decorated plaza listening to the soft hum of Romanian carols sung by a choir on the other side of the plaza. Bucky desperately tried to remember the last gift he gave Rebecca, but nothing came to him.</p>
<p>The sharp shrill of an incoming phone call actually made him jump in his seat. With a frown, he shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out the tiny burner phone in his much larger hand. A number he ironically had memorized flashed on the screen. Aj was calling him. It was nearly 1:30 in the afternoon here which meant it was around 6:30 in the morning in New York. Why was she calling so early?</p>
<p>Bucky leaned forward and flipped the phone open, not giving her a chance to speak, "Aj? Is everything ok? Are you—"</p>
<p>"<em>Merry Christmas</em>!" Her bright voice cheered through the speaker.</p>
<p>It took him a moment to calm his panic and realize what this call was. Bucky let out a sigh of relief. He covered his face with his gloved hand, "<em>Jesus</em>, you scared me."</p>
<p>"Oops." Aj chuckled over the line. "My bad."</p>
<p>"Yeah, you sound <em>real</em> remorseful." Bucky replied. The sorrow he had been wallowing in seemed to momentarily drift away. He dropped his hand from his face and settled into his seat for hopefully a long conversation, "Merry Christmas, doll."</p>
<p>"I wasn't sure if I'd get the time to talk to you later. I think it's gonna be a busy day, but I couldn't <em>not</em> talk to you. Especially on Christmas." Aj explained with ease. "I got the morning off from working out so I'm walking to our coffee shop right now."</p>
<p><em>Our coffee shop</em>.</p>
<p>It was such a small thing and it was probably pathetic how much it warmed his heart. Despite her having no earthly idea where he was, Aj always talked as if he was a friend sitting right there next to her.</p>
<p>"Well thanks, talking to you is the best gift I could get today." Bucky admitted.</p>
<p>Aj's voice rose slightly as excitement filled her, he wished he could see the grin he knew she was wearing, "I actually got you a gift!"</p>
<p>"Huh?"</p>
<p>"I mean, obviously I can't give it to you today, and I doubt you'll give me an address so I can mail it." Aj continued nonchalantly, but Bucky was still hung up on the words <em>'I got you a gift'.</em></p>
<p>It took him a second to get his tongue working, "You…You <em>bought</em> me something?"</p>
<p>"Of course, I did, dummy." Aj scoffed. "Wanna know what it is?" All he could bring himself to do was hum an affirmative to her question. Aj needed no further prodding. She continued, "So, ok, it's a magnet—"</p>
<p>"You bought me a <em>magnet</em>?" Bucky asked in disbelief. He felt his lips twitching up in amusement. She was going to be the death of him, he swore it.</p>
<p>"Yes, I did." Aj said firmly, defending her choice. "It's <em>really</em> cute. It's that picture of Steve in his Captain America get-up, the one they used in enlistment posters where's he's pointing—" Bucky knew exactly what picture she was talking about. He could even remember teasing Steve about it years ago. "—Anyways, it's him pointing and the words around him say, <em>'I want you to have a very good day</em>'."</p>
<p>Bucky broke down into laughter at the thought. He couldn't help it. All he could picture was the cute dame bouncing around a store, seeing a magnet like that, and immediately thinking of him. This was another reason he loved talking to her. The only times he laughed these days was with her. Just like in the bunker, there was something about her that filled him with light. Sitting here at this table, he wasn't some broken villain mourning a past life. He was Bucky Barnes, enjoying a conversation with his gal, wishing he could see her.</p>
<p>"I'm assuming you didn't plan on sticking it to my fridge."</p>
<p>"Oh, of course not. That's so boring." Aj chuckled. "It's going on your arm, for sure. That way you always remember to have a <em>very</em> good day."</p>
<p>God, her words made him feel soft, but he knew he didn't deserve it. Bucky felt his smile falter. He wasn't sitting in Romania talking to his gal, wishing she was here. Aj wasn't his gal, and he didn't deserve these stolen moments with her. Aj was filled with fire and every piece of her was made of some kind of chaotic recklessness. Bucky saw it the moment she rose from the ground, bleeding, to keep fighting. Aj was a fearless storm and she either didn't see the danger that surrounded him or chose to ignore it. Knowing her, it was the latter. The way she casually mentioned his arm, talked about sticking magnets to it, Aj didn't see it for what it was.</p>
<p>His arm was a <em>weapon of mass destruction</em>.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat and tried to remain casual, but he couldn't hold back the tenseness in his voice, "There's a reason I keep the arm hidden, Aj. It's not exactly comforting for others to look at. Not to mention…" Bucky swallowed a lump in his throat, "It's associated with some God-awful moments."</p>
<p>"When I think of your arm, I think about how nice it felt on my face." Aj said suddenly. He knew she was blushing. Bucky always knew when she was. Her voice shifted when she was embarrassed. His mind drifted to the memory of resting his hand on her face, trying to stave away a burning fever, "And, it gave me relief when I held it while going in and out of consciousness. Not to mention you used it to get me out of that hellhole." She let out a small chuckle, but all he could think about was how shocked he was the first time she grabbed his hand without hesitation. Even people who didn't know the story behind the metal prosthetic, they paused because of how terrifying it tended to look. Aj in all her chaotic, loving energy had just grabbed it tightly with a soft smile in return. "Bucky, there's <em>no part of you</em> that doesn't bring me comfort. <em>No part of you</em> that doesn't make me feel safe."</p>
<p>Was he still sitting? He was, but it felt like he was floating away. Bucky felt like the entire plaza was shifting and that if he let go of the metal table he would just drift away. As if her first words hadn't blown him away enough, she added, "As lame as it sounds… I think every inch of you is <em>amazing</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky should argue. A part of him wished he could reach through the phone and shake some sense into her. His mouth wouldn't—<em>couldn't</em> form the scolding words though. Every word soothed him, and he was just selfish enough to take his own comfort from her voice. As much as he knew that he didn't deserve this, by God was he so thankful that the universe let his path cross hers.</p>
<p>"You're too good to me, doll, you know that?" Bucky replied, his voice a little more broken and huskier than he meant it to be. His words had been more of a harsh whisper.</p>
<p>Aj let out a soft sigh, "I wish you were here. Steve wishes it too, you know?"</p>
<p>"I know."</p>
<p>His acknowledgement was followed by a moment of silence. She began to order multiple coffees and donuts on the other end of the line. Bucky wished he could be in their coffee shop beside her. He also wished, more than anything, that he could see Steve. It hurt to think of his best friend, his brother, and the pain he was causing him. If he was back home, he could simply pull Steve aside and ask the blond what he got Rebecca for last Christmas. Steve would remember. He had always been one of the most important people in Bucky's life and now he was the <em>last</em> connection he had to his pre-military past. It all came back to that guilt though. Bucky wanted to spend Christmas with Steve and Aj, <em>more than anything</em>, but he knew deep down he wasn't worthy of that kind of happiness.</p>
<p>"What are your plans today?" Bucky asked when she finished ordering. He didn't like leaving long gaps of silences, though they didn't happen often in the first place. Still, Bucky was always afraid the silence would make Aj grow bored and that she'd hang up.</p>
<p>"I actually have no idea." Aj laughed lightly. "Clint just told me that I needed to be ready, but he didn't clarify anything beyond that." Bucky felt like he knew each Avenger personally. The stories Aj told seemed to put him in the moment. It's why he knew Clint was the disaster of a human archer. "Knowing him it could be literally anything, both legal or illegal, and it probably involves mistletoe of some kind."</p>
<p>Aj ended her sentence with a snort that was somewhere between amused and tired. Bucky couldn't help but chuckle, mildly confused, "Your adopted father is trying to kiss you?"</p>
<p>"<em>Ew, no</em>!" Aj cried out and he shook his head with a grin. She let out a small laugh that sounded suspiciously like music to his ears. Damn it, he was pathetic. "He keeps trying to get me and Steve under it."</p>
<p>Bucky hated how quickly his smile fell and how his shoulders instinctively stiffened at the words. Aj didn't seem to notice and continued telling him the story of how Clint had given her a small box as a fake Christmas present last night when she was sitting beside Steve and it ended up being a clipping of mistletoe. He felt a pang of something in his chest and it took a few seconds to recognize it as jealousy. <em>Jesus Christ, he was fucking jealous</em>.</p>
<p>"You should've seen how red Steve turned." Aj was still laughing, "Even the tips of his ears went red. I knew Clint wasn't gonna leave us alone, so I kissed him on the cheek. I was worried I'd be crossing a line into his personal space, but he didn't mind so that's good."</p>
<p>Yeah, of course the punk wouldn't mind. Bucky had his suspicions, listening to the stories Aj provided him about Steve, but he always shoved them aside and didn't bother digging further. This evidence essentially sucker punched him. Steve liked her. Bucky understood why, there was no confusion there. Aj was a hell of a dame, and Steve always went weak kneed for strong, independent women.</p>
<p>"I mean, if Clint had made my friendship awkward with him over a prank I would've—… hey? <em>Bucky</em>?"</p>
<p>"Y—Yeah?" He blurted a little more forced than he meant.</p>
<p>"Oh." Aj replied. "I just wasn't sure if I lost you there for a second, I couldn't hear you."</p>
<p>Yeah because he was too busy being in crisis to reply to anything. Bucky rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "Nah, just listening real close. You know what your voice does to me, doll."</p>
<p>Bucky flinched at his own damn words. He needed to stop saying shit like that. Aj chuckled and lowered her voice, "Oh yeah? Am I making the ever-charming Bucky Barnes <em>swoon</em>?"</p>
<p>If somebody accused him of swooning 70 years ago, he would've denied it up and down seven different ways to Sunday. <em>Bucky Barnes doesn't swoon</em>. Right now, though? There was no better word to describe the way his pathetic ass felt. Bucky shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, "Uh, something like that. You get your coffees yet?"</p>
<p>"Huh? Oh, no not yet. I ordered a bunch to bring back to the Tower." She answered. "Mostly so if they ask why I left the Tower I have a valid excuse."</p>
<p>Bucky sighed; it was reminder that because of him she was lying to people she cared about. <em>Lying to Steve</em>, "Sorry."</p>
<p>"<em>For fuck's sake</em>—" He could almost hear her roll her eyes at him, "How many times do I have to tell you that I love talking to before you believe me? If telling a few white lies is the price then whatever. It's a price I'm willing to pay."</p>
<p>The conversation shifted to something lighter after she picked up her order and made her way back to the Tower in the cold. Bucky tried to fully understand what he felt. His brain was broken, maybe that meant his emotions were all fucked up too. Realistically speaking, you couldn't fall for someone over the phone, right? If you didn't count the three days in the bunker from hell, then he had only talked to her for two weeks. Granted, during those two weeks they talked for at least an hour every day, usually more, and then they also texted. Still, that was <em>nothing</em>. Bucky was <em>not</em> falling for her. He was <em>not</em> falling for his <em>best friend's gal</em>.</p>
<p>"Alright, well I'm outside the Tower." Aj said sadly. "Are you going to do something fun today?"</p>
<p>"Does talking to you count?" He asked.</p>
<p>"No." She chuckled, and he was glad he could make her laugh one more time. "Get a good Christmas dinner somewhere, Bucky. For me, ok?"</p>
<p>Bucky couldn't help but nod, "I promise."</p>
<p>"Ok." Aj said slowly, drawing out their goodbye. She spoke again, "Well, you make sure that you have a <em>very</em> good day today."</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled to himself and resisted the urge to tell her that any day he talks to her is considered one. He cleared his throat, "Only if you do too."</p>
<p>"Alright. I'll text you later and let you know if Clint dragged me to rob a bank or something." Aj replied, and he smiled at the excitement in her voice, "Merry Christmas, Bucky. Wish you were here. Maybe you'd have a better chance of keep Clint's mistletoe away from me since Tony has been struggling."</p>
<p>"I…" He swallowed, "Merry Christmas, doll."</p>
<p>He hung up the phone and pressed one hand over his eyes. He was not going to picture standing under the mistletoe with Aj. He was not going to picture standing under the mistletoe.<em> He was</em> <em>not</em>—</p>
<p>Bucky abruptly stood up and began to move. Walking would clear his head. Sitting at that small, restricting table would leave him in the chasm of questions that the conversation had left him with. Here's what he knew:</p>
<p>His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky to his friends. He was from Brooklyn. His mother's name was Winnifred Barnes. His sister's name was Rebecca Barnes. He served in the 107th infantry. His best friend's name was Steve Rogers. His best friend was head over heels for a firecracker of a dame. And, Bucky Barnes was 100%, definitely, super <em>not</em> falling for Aj Bradshaw.</p>
<p>His feet came to a stuttering stop as he noticed a little, dark haied girl bouncing down the sidewalk next to her father. She had on a pale blue dress and the color of it made his heart skip a beat. He knew what he did for his last Christmas. Bucky had bought her a bow. Rebecca had been devastated when she lost the ribbon she used to wear in her hair. So, Bucky and Steve scrounged up as much spare money they could to buy her a pale blue ribbon she could wear in her dark hair. A hair accessory to show off to all the other girls in her class that had been messing with her.</p>
<p>It was a memory he spent hours trying to yank out his malfunctioning brain, but after a 45 minute conversation with Aj the memory leaked to the forefront of his mind as easily as water leaked out of a broken bowl.</p>
<p>Bucky tore his gaze away from the small family that was now disappearing down the street. With a loud groan, he threw his head back and covered his face with his hands. The people passing him by that spared him a concerned look were ignored.</p>
<p>
  <em>Fuck, shit, damn it. </em>
</p>
<p>His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky to his friends. And, he was 100%, definitely, super falling for Aj Bradshaw.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>I rode the elevator all the way up to penthouse, still glowing from getting to talk to Bucky at least a little today, and when I stepped off, I was greeted by an unusual sight. There were a lot of things I expected. In fact, I once came off the elevator and walked in on Clint hanging upside down from the second story railing above the dining area, using his bow to aim an arrow at a target that Tony was holding above his head. All of this occurring at 3:24 in the morning, mind you. Right now though, all I could do was stare at the giant, plush bunny sitting beside our large Christmas tree.</p>
<p>"<em>Holy shit</em>." I breathed.</p>
<p>"What do you think?" Tony called out with his hands extended out toward it as he came out of the kitchen with Pepper. Unlike her helpful boyfriend, she hurried over to me to help me juggle the boxes of donuts and coffees I had bought.</p>
<p>I blinked in surprise, but the surprise slowly turned to awe, "It's so <em>fucking</em> huge. I <em>love</em> it!"</p>
<p>Tony shot Pepper a look, and she rolled her eyes with a small grin, "You two really are cut from the same cloth."</p>
<p>She drifted away with the boxes, and I pointed to the bunny, "How'd you even get it up here?"</p>
<p>"Quinjet." Tony replied. "And a lot of determination."</p>
<p>"Nice." I admired it again before turning to Tony, "So? When do you and Pepper leave?"</p>
<p>"Pretty soon. The spy kids and old man are heading up soon. We were gonna say good-bye then head out." Tony shrugged. Bruce and Betty's flight had been crazy early so we had said our good-byes before going to bed. Tony suddenly wrapped his arm around my shoulders and began to drag me to the kitchen, "I bought you so many nice coats and you only wear this one."</p>
<p>I glanced down at the dark green, canvas jacket, "I like it."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah." Tony wave my words off and let go of me to grab a donut, "Well, when we go to Paris, I expect you to pack a few other jackets. Preferably ones that didn't used to belong to a homeless, blood thirsty amnesiac."</p>
<p>I glared at him, "Tony. You know how I feel about you talking shit on Bucky."</p>
<p>"Right. My bad." He replied nonchalantly. "I didn't think it'd distract you from the main part of that statement."</p>
<p>It took me a second to register his words and then my eyes widened, "Wait, what? Paris?"</p>
<p>"There it is." Tony smirked and pointed at me. He shot a look of excitement to Pepper who came back into the kitchen to join us. "She figured it out, Pep."</p>
<p>"I told you to tell her like a normal human being, Tony."</p>
<p>I shook my head and held my hands up to stop the conversation flowing over my head. In the background, I heard the elevator open back in the main area. I pointed at Tony, "Explain yourself, tin man."</p>
<p>"We go on vacation after Christmas and before New Year's. So far, we've done skiing and tropical, this year is <em>Paris</em>." Tony beamed.</p>
<p>Technically, he had explained it, yet I still felt confused. Natasha walked into the kitchen and saddled up to stand beside me while reaching for a donut, "The day after tomorrow he's flying us out to Paris for four days. We're going to Disney."</p>
<p>My eyes widened again and Tony scoffed, "I wanted to tell her that part."</p>
<p>"Then why didn't you?" Natasha retorted with a smirk.</p>
<p>"We're going to <em>Disneyland</em>?" I asked in shock. The three others in the kitchen shot me a variety of smiles. Natasha's was amused, Pepper's was kind, and Tony's was the kind of smile he got when one of his extravagant gifts hit just right. Realistically speaking, I was a mature 26-year-old woman who could handle this news with tact and a normal amount of excitement. However, I found myself buzzing with delight, "<em>Oh my God</em>!"</p>
<p>I was going to vacation in Paris, France with a stop at Disneyland. This was the kind of vacation I would dream up in my head while trying to pass out in a bed that did not belong to me in a foster house that was hardly a home. The dream always ended with me being bitter and accepting that it wasn't going to happen and that I didn't even have a family to go with me. Yet, here I was. Going to Disney, going to Paris, and I had a family.</p>
<p>A projectile flew past my head and landed in the box of donuts right in front of me. I glanced down to see mistletoe sitting in the hole of a donut, and behind me Clint jumped into the kitchen loudly with an, '<em>Aha</em>!'. We all turned around to look at him, and he surveyed the room. His arms fell in disappointment, "What the shit? Rogers isn't even in here."</p>
<p>"How did you become a spy again?" Tony motioned to him, "Your observation skills are <em>absolute</em> shit."</p>
<p>"Hey, it's Christmas. You're not supposed to hurt my feelings on Christmas."</p>
<p>"Criticizing you has no holidays."</p>
<p>"Morning." Steve walked in behind Clint. The archer barked out a curse that Steve raised an eyebrow at in confusion. Clint marched over, grabbed the donut with the mistletoe, and then hopped onto the counter to eat his snack. "Merry Christmas?"</p>
<p>I chuckled, "Merry Christmas, Captain Rogers."</p>
<p>His confusion melted away, and he came to stand between me and Tony. The latter of the men clapped his hands, "Alright. Time to say good-bye. I'm sick of you assholes and I want alone time with Pep."</p>
<p>"This is why she chose me as her father." Clint pointed to me with a mouthful of glazed donut.</p>
<p>Tony flipped him off, and everyone moved on from the argument. I gave Pepper a tight hug, thanking her for the earrings she got me again, and wishing her a Merry Christmas. I winked at her, "Sorry you have to put up with Tony alone."</p>
<p>"I'll try to endure it." She joked back.</p>
<p>"If I had known you were both gonna be mean to me I never would've introduced you two." Tony scoffed and pulled away from a hug with Natasha to yank me away from Pepper. I slammed into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me tightly, "Now, I know you're gonna miss me, sunshine, but I'm only a phone call away. Keep that in mind when you're crying yourself to sleep tonight."</p>
<p>I scoffed and untangled myself from his arms, "Gee, thanks."</p>
<p>"You, stop trying to corrupt our daughter." Tony glared at Clint who only gave him a smug, shit-eating grin. He then spun to clap Steve on the shoulder, "And you, keep your lips off hers, you <em>96-year-old shit</em>. You'd be robbing the cradle."</p>
<p>Steve's face went red again, "Hey I'm not—it isn't like—"</p>
<p>"Don't you have a flight to catch?" I snapped at Tony.</p>
<p>Tony just snickered in amusement with a shrug, "Hey, it's <em>my</em> plane. It's not gonna leave without me."</p>
<p>Pepper wrapped her arms around his shoulders and began to drag him out of the kitchen, "Here's my last gift to all of you. I'm getting him out of your hair."</p>
<p>The kitchen echoed with thanks that varied from "<em>Thank God</em>!" and "<em>You're a saint</em>." To "<em>Hell yeah</em>!" and "<em>Good riddance</em>."</p>
<p>"Absolute traitors." Tony cursed and leaned back into Pepper with a grin, "See you assholes in Paris!"</p>
<p>Tony whipped around and wrapped his arms around Pepper. She let out a laugh as he picked her up and carried her to the elevator. I turned and leaned my elbows on the island counter, "So what's the plan for us? Are we robbing a bank?"</p>
<p>"That's not a bad idea." Clint shrugged.</p>
<p>"Stark throws money at us. Why would we need to rob a bank?" Natasha questioned and Steve nodded in agreement.</p>
<p>"For the accomplishment of it, duh." I shrugged and Clint pointed at me with his own nod of agreement. Steve rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand. He began to pull me out of the kitchen. "And where are we going?"</p>
<p>Steve yanked on my hand making me stumble into him and he replaced holding my hand with wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we went to the elevator, "Figured we'd give Nat and Clint Christmas morning to themselves. Plus, you may have skipped working out today, but you aren't skipping out on the gun range."</p>
<p>It was a good idea. The couple deserved a little alone time with one another on the holiday, but I still groaned at the thought of going down to the gun range, "I hate shooting. I'd have a better chance of hurting the bad guys by throwing the damn gun at them."</p>
<p>"You're not wrong." Steve countered and I jabbed my elbow into his ribs. He laughed and shook his head, "That's why we're going down to practice."</p>
<p>I scoffed, "I'm going down to practice. You're going down to <em>laugh at me</em>."</p>
<p>"Also, correct."</p>
<p>It took a moment for the elevator to get to us since Tony and Pepper had just taken it down to the garage. While we waited, I pulled out my phone to call Granny. It was a little after 6:30 in Alabama since they were an hour behind. That's early for most normal human beings, but I knew Granny was an early riser.</p>
<p>"Hello?" Granny greeted.</p>
<p>I hit the speaker button while stepping into the elevator with Steve, "Merry Christmas, Granny! You're on with me and Steve."</p>
<p>"Merry Christmas, Rosie." Steve chimed in.</p>
<p>"Aww, you sweethearts." Granny gushed, "Merry Christmas to y'all too. I wish I could be there… thank you for keeping my Aimee Jane company, Steve."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "Someone has to do it, right?"</p>
<p>Granny laughed like a schoolgirl trying to impress her crush and I narrowed my eyes at Steve who just gave me a smug smirk. Little shit. On the way down, we told her about Christmas eve dinner and the surprise plans for later that I was apparently not allowed to know about.</p>
<p>"Oh, I know where you're going." Granny chuckled.</p>
<p>I was standing in the gun range waiting for Steve to come back with whatever guns they were gonna make me work with today. I let out a small gasp, "What do you mean you know?"</p>
<p>"I was talking to Clint about it yesterday."</p>
<p>"How often do you call the Avengers to talk?" I asked in surprise. Steve came back in with some pistol looking guns and a look of amusement on his face. A look that told me he knew the answer to that question.</p>
<p>Granny replied, "Enough to know that you're also going to Disneyland the day after tomorrow."</p>
<p>"How do you know more about my day to day life than I do?" I scoffed.</p>
<p>"Tony told her." Steve answered for her. "They were on the phone a couple weeks ago. He needed some information from her to make your passport."</p>
<p>I blinked in shock as I remembered passports were a thing. It's not like I had ever been out of the country very often. In fact, I had only left America once and it was a shitty trip to Russia. Between getting my skull knocked in and meeting Vladimir I didn't remember anyone asking to see my passport.</p>
<p>"How does he get me a passport without me knowing?" I asked. "Don't I have to like be there? For pictures or signatures or something?"</p>
<p>Steve shrugged, "I stopped questioning the little things like that a while ago."</p>
<p>"Forging official documents is not a little thing, Steven."</p>
<p>"For Tony Stark it is."</p>
<p>Granny chimed in, "I'm so excited for you. I know you're going to have so much fun, make sure you get me a souvenir!"</p>
<p>"Course, Granny. Do you think you'll be able to visit soon?"</p>
<p>"I'm still babysitting the kids." Granny replied and I appreciated that she didn't use my sister's name. "Hopefully soon though. You could always come down and visit yourself."</p>
<p>I don't think I was ready to meet my niece and nephews yet. They were kids and I didn't blame them for the sins of their mother, but I knew who I was as a person. The moment I saw them, I was going to love them. They were blood after all.</p>
<p>"Maybe." I lied. I knew Granny and Steve both saw through it easily, but neither called me out on it.</p>
<p>Granny quickly changed the topic, "Oh! Steve did you get my Christmas gift!"</p>
<p>"I did. Thank you for the sweater, Rosie." Steve replied with a smile. "I really like it."</p>
<p>"No, no, I meant the USO dancer uniform!"</p>
<p>Steve's eyes widened and I felt him turn to look at me in confusion, but I lowered my gaze to inconspicuously play with my bracelets. There was something really weird about handing Steve the skimpy dance uniform. I just knew I wouldn't be able to handle giving it to him without turning bright red for some reason so I figured I'd just leave it under my bed for the rest of forever. I think it all stemmed from Clint making that joke about me wearing it. I was perfectly normal until he did that. Well, normal for me, at least.</p>
<p>"No. I didn't get that actually." Steve said slowly.</p>
<p>"You didn't give it to him?"</p>
<p>I cleared my throat and avoided looking Steve in the eyes. I could feel the smug amusement radiating off him though, "Nope. Must have, uh—slipped my mind."</p>
<p>"Did you by chance try it on? I bet it would fit you, Aimee Jane—"</p>
<p>"Whoops, I gotta go shoot a gun. Love you Granny, Merry Christmas, bye!" I blurted in a rush before hanging up my phone. My eyes slowly drifted over to Steve. He was leaning against the divider, arms crossed, and smirk on his face. I narrowed my eyes at him, "You're enjoying this too much."</p>
<p>Steve just shrugged and lifted one hand to rub his jawline, "I told you. It's not often I get to see flustered Aj, and I <em>really</em> like her. Your face goes pink, all the way down to your collarbones, and your charismatic wit turns into panicked babbling."</p>
<p>"Hey, two can play at this game. You wanna be flustered? Because I can make you feel flustered just as easy, buddy." I pointed at him threateningly. The squeak in my voice didn't add the power I was hoping to put into the words though.</p>
<p>Steve pushed off the wall and held his hands out, "Try it. I'm not getting caught off guard today."</p>
<p>I tilted my head at the challenge while the overconfident Steve just leaned one hand against the ledge where the guns sat. With a determined smirk, I leaned forward, meeting him halfway, and spoke slowly. I let the words roll off my lips as sweet as honey as I could muster, "Keep looking at me like that, and I'm gonna start to think you're <em>trying</em> to get me into that USO dancer uniform, Steve."</p>
<p>He was supposed to turn red and stumble over his words like every other time we've joked around like this. Instead, he remained steady as his smirk turned into a soft smile. I was suddenly very aware that we were only a breath away from one another. His weighted gaze left my eyes and briefly traced down to my lips before coming right back up. I felt my stomach actually flip at the action. This wasn't supposed to be his reaction. Flirting as joke was a cornerstone of my personality. People don't take you seriously when you just flirt it off. I did it with Thor now when I saw him, I've done it jokingly with Sam before… Hell, I do it all the time with Bucky and admittedly there were times when the joke felt all too real and I needed to backpedal quick but it was easy to backpedal since we were on the phone.</p>
<p>This was the first time it happened with Steve.</p>
<p>I forced out a small laugh and quickly turned so I was facing the plexi glass that separated me from the range portion of this gun range. Quickly, I cleared my throat, "Ok, so maybe you win that round, Captain Rogers. I'll, uh, get you next time though."</p>
<p>"Uh huh." Steve replied.</p>
<p>"So, time to shoot!" I chirped and immediately reached for the noise cancelling headphones. I wrapped them around my neck and listened as Steve reminded me of different tips for when I fired the weapon. I recognized the handgun now, Clint had already worked with me with them, but I still listened intently to everything Steve said. The energy around us melted back into what it normally was, and I was thankful that my little slip up hadn't made things awkward. I don't know what the fuck that was about, but I'd bury it in the graveyard of things to ignore in my head.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>'Dress warm'</em>
</p>
<p>That was the only hint Natasha gave me for where we were going, and it was hardly a hint since there was no place in all of New York City that wasn't cold right now. She hadn't said to pack a ski mask so I assumed the bank robbery thing was off the table. Steve and I had spent an hour down in the gun range. Luckily, after that first weird moment things had been completely normal from then.</p>
<p>I figured most of the clothes I wore this morning would be warm enough. I swapped the shirt for a sweater, wrapped a scarf around my neck a few times, and grabbed the beanie Natasha had made me. It was a dark green. The same shade as Bucky's jacket. I saw what she did there. I shot Bucky a quick text, <em>'Not robbing a bank, will keep you updated'.</em></p>
<p>Quickly, I parted my hair and braided it into two French braids before pulling the beanie over my head. The phone vibrated against the counter and I picked it up to read the text Bucky had just sent back.</p>
<p>
  <em>'I'll keep an eye out on the news for you'.</em>
</p>
<p>I chuckled and shoved the phone into Bucky's jacket and clipped the pocket shut with the snap button it had. Technically speaking, it'd be smarter to just leave the phone at home, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. What if Bucky needed to get in touch with me? Like, for an emergency or something? Not that I'd be very helpful in any emergency relating towards him.</p>
<p>I was halfway down to the lobby when Natasha told me to hurry my ass up. The lobby was still empty save for three familiar faces waiting for me by the front doors. Natasha was dressed similar to me. Warm coat, thick scarf, and a navy blue beanie over her bright red hair. Her hair had gotten longer and I knew she was planning on cutting it again soon. Steve had on a long tan, wool coat over a white sweater with a dark scarf hanging around his neck. It was definitely an outfit designed by the Black Widow.</p>
<p>"Took you long enough!" Clint barked out to me. He had on a black peacoat that I hadn't seen him wear before.</p>
<p>I pointed at him, "Wow. That's a really nice jacket, Clint."</p>
<p>Clint preened before popping his coat's collars, "Aw, thanks—"</p>
<p>"But you <em>still</em> somehow look homeless?" I raised an eyebrow at him, "How is that?"</p>
<p>"Ok, damn, that's uncalled for, kid."</p>
<p>Steve and Natasha chuckled before dragging the two of us out into the cold. All my questions were ignored while they lead me down the streets of Manhattan. It wasn't snowing right now but based on the way the clouds above us looked it would be at some point later today.</p>
<p>"Where are we going?" I demanded again with a laugh.</p>
<p>"Patience is a virtue, Aj." Clint replied from in front of me without even looking back.</p>
<p>I scoffed, "That's rich coming from <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>My arm was looped through Steve's arm, like it always did when we walked, and he used his other hand to pat the one holding onto his arm, "You'll like this, ok?"</p>
<p>"Really? Because I kind of feel like I'm being kidnapped."</p>
<p>"If you really wanna feel like you're being kidnapped, we can have Steve throw you over his shoulder." Clint glanced over his shoulder with a smirk, "I'd offer, but bad back you know…"</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes, "Since when have you had a bad back?"</p>
<p>"Since I fell out of the vent and slammed onto the stove."</p>
<p>Natasha scoffed, "And who's fault was that?"</p>
<p>I chuckled and continued to follow the super spies. The small group of us walked all the way to Central Park. It was odd being out with all of them at once like this. Every person we passed shot us looks and a few even pulled their phones out to take non-subtle pictures of us. One girl had her phone up pointed at us, and I couldn't help but lift my hand to wave at her. Steve glanced to where I was waving and spotted the girl who turned bright red under both our gazes.</p>
<p>"Come on, come on." Clint whined and grabbed my hand. He yanked me away from Steve and the two of us went jogging through Central Park as Natasha and Steve followed behind us at a normal pace. Halfway up a path, Clint forced me to stop and pointed ahead to where a large crowd of people were ice skating. "You ready, kid?"</p>
<p>I grinned at him, "We're gonna ice skate?!"</p>
<p>Clint bounced beside me with the same amount of energy I felt. He dragged me down to a stand where a worker was renting out skates to a line of people. Despite always wanting to ice skate it was an experience I hadn't had the opportunity to explore.</p>
<p>"So, neither of you know how to ice skate?" Natasha raised an eyebrow as we sat on a bench tying the laces on our skates tight.</p>
<p>Steve's head snapped up, "Hey, I've been ice skating before."</p>
<p>"Not what I asked, old man." Natasha hummed before leaving to join Clint who was already on the ice.</p>
<p>I finished lacing up the old skates best I could. They were supposed to be tight, right? Steve was already standing and offered me his hand. I let him pull me up and we wobbled over to the ice. I glanced around, watching as eyes darted away from us, "Do you ever get used to people staring at you?"</p>
<p>"Eventually." Steve shrugged. "I don't even really notice it anymore. Unless they're being really obvious about it."</p>
<p>We got onto the ice, my feet shaking under me, and I held onto Steve's arm with a death grip. It was probably detrimental that I did though because the two of us glided over the ice for a couple of feet before we both went sprawling onto the ice in a mess of tangled limbs.</p>
<p>Steve let out a grunt, my elbow definitely jabbed into his gut when we fell, and I couldn't stop the laughter that exploded from me. Steve chuckled and leaned up onto his elbows to grin at me, "This is <em>your </em>fault."</p>
<p>"Excuse you!" I laughed. "You're supposed to be the skating pro! You couldn't use that super strength to keep us standing?"</p>
<p>"My super strength has <em>nothing</em> on your lack of balance."</p>
<p>I smacked the back of my hand into his chest, "My balance is just fine, thank you. I could've caught myself if I wasn't connected to a 230-pound lump of coal."</p>
<p>"You're the one who latched onto me, sweetheart."</p>
<p>We both stopped playfully bickering when two pairs of skates slid up beside us. Natasha and Clint stared down at us in amusement. Clint shook his head and made a 'tsk'-ing noise with his mouth, "This is just sad."</p>
<p>"You've been ice skating before though, right?" Natasha hummed in Steve's direction. He discreetly flipped her off with a grin that she happily returned.</p>
<p>Clint held his hands out to me, "Upsy daises, kid."</p>
<p>I grabbed his hands and after a minute of struggling, he got me shakily to my feet. Clint hooked his arm through mine and kept me steady as I tried not to stumble again. I glanced over my shoulder to see Natasha had pulled Steve up and she was doing the same, trying to keep Steve from falling flat on his face.</p>
<p>"Now lemme show you how it's really done." Clint winked and picked up his speed a bit, dragging me around the ice as I laughed.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha was good at a wide array of random skills. Steve knew this, and if he were a weaker man, he'd be embarrassed to have her dragging him around the ice as the only reason he wasn't busting his ass. The redhead's arm was looped through his and they were a decent bit behind Clint and Aj who were spinning around on the ice. Aj had apparently gotten a hang of the skating thing and now Clint was getting fancy with how he dragged her on the ice.</p>
<p>"Hey, can I—er, can I ask you about something?" Steve cleared his throat.</p>
<p>Natasha chuckled, "Well, this should be good."</p>
<p>"I think—I mean, I know, but it…" Steve sighed, "I think me and Aj had a…a <em>moment</em>."</p>
<p>"You've spent three months with her, watching Netflix and eating cheap take-out food most of those nights, and you're telling me you're only just now having a moment?"</p>
<p>"No. I meant…" Steve shook his head. He had plenty of moments. In fact, the moments for him were just stacking up one after another. It was dangerous how many moments seemed to collect in his mind. "I think <em>Aj</em> had a moment."</p>
<p>Natasha's eyes widened in interest, "Oh. That's different. What happened?"</p>
<p>"We were down in the gun range talking to Rosie. She mentioned a—a USO dancer uniform—"</p>
<p>"Oh, I've seen that." Natasha cut in. "It's an actual antique, kind of like you. We could probably donate it to a museum, and they'd be thrilled."</p>
<p>Steve rolled his eyes, "Right. Well, Rosie brought it up and Aj got all flustered." His lips curled up into a smirk, remembering the blush that painted over her pretty features. Natasha shot him an amused look and Steve ignored it, "Anyways, she did the thing where she says something to try and get me flustered."</p>
<p>"Try? She succeeds 9 times out of 10." Natasha chuckled.</p>
<p>"Yeah, well, this was that 10th time then." Steve replied. "She leaned in, said her piece, and I didn't fold like a lawn chair. Instead, we just kind of…stood there, and…and—<em>God</em>, I—"</p>
<p>Natasha came to a sudden stop on the ice, nearly sending him toppling over onto the ice, "Oh my God, did you kiss her?"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>!" Steve denied quickly. He didn't kiss Aj, but holy shit had he considered it. Steve had been determined not to fluster like he usually did when she shot him that look, but maybe it would've been better if he had. All he could think about was how close she was to him and how easy it could be to just close that space. It was the first time, in a very, <em>very</em> long time, that the thought ever even crossed his mind.</p>
<p>More than that, the nervous look that flashed across Aj's features had nearly done him in. The way her blush darkened as her eyes followed his gaze away from her eyes. The sharp breath she took in that he didn't even think she noticed. Steve knew how he felt, but this was the first time he thought Aj ever even considered the idea that he could potentially be more than what he was.</p>
<p>Natasha's voice drew him out of his trance, "You think she actually felt something?"</p>
<p>"There was something there, I don't know." Steve mumbled. "It was quick though. Before I could even fully register everything going on, she…she turned around and focused on the guns."</p>
<p>"We are all fully aware that she's allergic to that side of the emotional spectrum." Natasha chuckled. "That is interesting though. <em>Hmm</em>."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "I need more than just '<em>hmm'</em>, Nat."</p>
<p>"Has it been weird since?"</p>
<p>"No. It's like it didn't even happen." Steve replied, then mumbled, "I'm not sure if that's worse or better."</p>
<p>Natasha began to pull them forward on the ice again so they weren't just standing there while the crowds skated around them. He could almost see the gears turning in the spy's head as she thought. Finally, Natasha nodded once, "Looking at this from your point of view, you want to one day enter into a romantic relationship with her—"</p>
<p>"I wouldn't say—Not like, you..." Steve stumbled over his words at her clinical description of what she thought he wanted.</p>
<p>"Oh, so you <em>don't</em> want a romantic relationship?" Natasha replied coyly, "Yet, you obviously want to kiss her. Does that mean you're looking for what? A hook up?"</p>
<p>"For fuck's sake, Nat." Steve blurted, his face burning hot. "<em>No</em>."</p>
<p>Natasha laughed, "I'm joking. Look, this is good for you. Moments are a <em>good</em> thing. She has to come to you though. I'm not saying you can't push a little, but the first actual move <em>has</em> to be her."</p>
<p>"Right." Steve nodded in agreement. "No, that makes sense. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. Her friendship and mental health come first <em>always</em>."</p>
<p>"Good." Natasha smiled at him. "Because if you tried to make a move on her before she was ready, I'd slaughter you."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "Hey, I was your friend first." In response, Natasha winked at him and tore her arm out of his to skate away. His eyes widened and his feet wobbled as his balance shifted, "W—Wait, <em>hey</em>, Nat! Come on! <em>Nat</em>!"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can't drag your ass! You're too heavy!" I yelled.</p>
<p>Clint had planted himself on the ice, grabbed my arm, and told me to drag him forward. At my words, he scoffed, "How dare you? I'm sensitive about that!"</p>
<p>"Will you please just skate like a normal human?!" I laughed. He yanked me back and I let out a yelp of panic. Clint caught me before I could bust my ass though and kept his arm around my shoulders as we skated. "You <em>ass</em>."</p>
<p>"That's me." Clint beamed. I leaned against him and let him be in control of where our skates took us. As we took a turn, I could see Natasha and Steve not super far behind us. Clint scoffed, "Why are you looking back? Am I not enough for you, Aj? You can't take a break from <em>Hunky McShoulders</em> for even a minute?"</p>
<p>"Oh, shut up." I blushed. "I was just hoping to catch a glimpse of Steve falling."</p>
<p>"Uh huh."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and tapped my head against his shoulder, "What is your obsession with me and Steve?"</p>
<p>"I think he'd make you happy and I think you'd make him happy." Clint shrugged.</p>
<p>"We already make each other happy."</p>
<p>"Maybe you could be even happier?" Clint replied. I gave him a look out of the corner of my eye, and he chuckled. "For real though, can you tell me, with a straight face, that you don't feel for him? At least a little?"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I don't… I don't think so. I don't know, I—I don't think about that kind of stuff."</p>
<p>"Why?" Clint asked, but not in an interrogation kind of way. He sounded genuinely curious.</p>
<p>"I…" I paused to think. It was a good question. The thing was, it wasn't hard to let people in as a friend. It was actually very easy. I just spent a lot of time forcing myself to not do it. Letting someone in romantically? That wasn't easy. The last real date I had ever been on was with Kyle and that ended with me joining an illegal fighting ring. To be honest, I couldn't put what I felt into words. The idea of being that vulnerable with someone, being touched by someone intimately literally made me feel sick to my stomach. "I like control. I <em>need</em> it. With every aspect of my life…being not in control makes me feel sick and I hate it. Feeling that way about someone—pursuing them in a romantic sense… You have to trust them enough to give up some of that control, I think."</p>
<p>Clint nodded, "Not necessarily. If someone really loves you then they should understand that. Help you work through it."</p>
<p>"I don't think it's something that can be worked through, Clint."</p>
<p>"I think your need for control stems from <em>fear</em>." He replied, "You've had a lot of…instability in your life. Anyone in your position would crave control."</p>
<p>I let his words roll around in my head. He probably wasn't wrong. I've always had a fear of the unknown, of the unfamiliar, and by having control of the different variables in my life I was able lessen the probability of being put into that kind of scenario. There was more to it, but that stays behind the door. This was a pointless, hypothetical conversation anyway.</p>
<p>"It's a moot point. Steve's just my friend, and…and I'm not the relationship kind." I shrugged and hoped by my tone that he would understand that I was done with this conversation. "I know Granny wants me to go and find my soulmate or whatever, but I don't think that's in my future."</p>
<p>Clint tilted his head, "You think you don't have a soulmate?" I shook my head and he laughed. "You're wrong."</p>
<p>"How can I be wrong about that?" I chuckled.</p>
<p>"I consider myself a professional on this topic." Clint bragged and I rolled my eyes, "Natasha is my soulmate."</p>
<p>I couldn't help but smile at his words, "That's sweet."</p>
<p>"I knew the moment I met her."</p>
<p>"Didn't you guys just start dating last year though?"</p>
<p>"Yupp." Clint chirped. "First, we were partners, then we were friends, then we were friends with benefits for a while there, then there was a small period where we kind of hated each other, then we were friends again, and now we're dating."</p>
<p>I blinked in shock, "Oh."</p>
<p>"See, here's the thing, Aj. When people hear the word soulmate they think of romance. Lovers." Clint said and I nodded in agreement. "But they're wrong. Soulmates come in all shapes and sizes. Friends, siblings, etcetera. <em>Anyone</em> can be your soulmate and I think you can have more than one."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I think you're being <em>real</em> lax with the definition of soulmate."</p>
<p>Clint chuckled, "I think the term soulmate just describes the feeling we get when we meet someone and feel that <em>spark</em>. That connection. They leave a mark on our soul that can't be worn down over time. They help you be the very best version of yourself." He pointed at me, "For example, when I met Tasha… the moment she said her first words to me, I just knew. I can't explain it. I mean, her first words to me were a string of really mean Russian swears, but…"</p>
<p>"You just knew." I echoed.</p>
<p>Clint grinned at me, "Yeah. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that anyone who leaves a mark in your life is a soulmate. That doesn't diminish who that person is or the mark they left on you, but a soulmate just… is a whole new level. The mark isn't just some impact or change in your life. Something, some part of them, is just <em>burned</em> into your very being."</p>
<p>"Oh." I said softly, letting his words settle in my brain.</p>
<p>"That's why it sounds silly to me when you say you don't have a soulmate." Clint laughed with a shake of his head. He smirked at me with a spark in his eyes, "The universe is too big, too infinite, for you to think so small."</p>
<p>A slow smile spread across my features. I had never thought about it like that. The way he described it, his way of defining the word soulmate, it struck me hard. The idea of someone's mere presence burning something unique into your soul and vice versa was a more concrete way of looking at it. I shook my head once, "You know, sometimes you say some real profound shit, Clint. Like, <em>wow</em>."</p>
<p>"I've been trying to tell you guys that I'm a genius, but no one believes me."</p>
<p>"Yeah, because we've seen you eat a crayon before." Natasha's voice rang out.</p>
<p>The redhead slowly skated past us and turned around so she was skating backwards and facing us. Clint groaned, "That is <em>so</em> out of context."</p>
<p>"Wait, you've eaten a crayon before?" I questioned.</p>
<p>"I was sleep deprived!" Clint complained.</p>
<p>I glanced over my shoulder to see Steve's face scrunched up in focus as he tried to remain standing. I let go of Clint's arm and cautiously made my way back to him. Steve glanced up at me just as I reached him, and I slowly looped my arm back through his.</p>
<p>"Come to bring me down again?" Steve joked.</p>
<p>"Excuse you, I came to help." I squeezed his arm, "Did Nat give up on you because she saw you were a lost cause?"</p>
<p>Steve finally found his feet under him and we were able to carefully skate like two normal people, "I was more into sledding than I was skating."</p>
<p>"It's ok. If you were good at this too then life just wouldn't be fair." I replied. "Everyone needs some sort of flaw."</p>
<p>"I guess it could be worse." Steve chuckled in response. He shot me an amused look, "I could suck at shooting."</p>
<p>I slapped my hand into his chest with a scoff and it nearly sent us falling back onto the ice. Steve and I finally caught up to Clint and Natasha and the four of us just went around the pond in circles. A part of me couldn't wait until we got back, and I'd be able to text Bucky what we ended up doing today instead of robbing a bank. Just the other day I had mentioned ice skating to him. This really was shaping up to be the best Christmas I've ever had, and this year slowly turning into the next left me in a happy daze.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Steve Roger's Fanclub</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Thanks again to everyone commenting and leaving reviews you are all the loves of my life (in a totally not weird way like I probably wouldn't take a bullet for you but I'd definitely make you a super cool friendship bracelet).</p><p>OH FYI: Paris is gonna be a deleted scene if I ever get around to it lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><hr/><p>                                                                             </p><hr/><p>
  <em>"Your burdens may be heavy, but my love is strong." –Jessica Katoff</em>
</p><hr/><p>"Oh wow, oh wow." Beth gushed as she glanced around the penthouse. It reminded me of when I brought Peter up here for the first time. Both had stars in their eyes and their jaws dropped wide open.</p><p>The trip to Paris had been as eventful and exciting as I imagined. Traveling overseas legally was a blast and Disney, pardon the cliché, was absolutely <em>magical</em>. I had somehow managed to nearly break my ankle in Discovery Land so Steve had to piggyback me around the park until I could hold weight, but other than that it had been one of the most perfect days of my entire life which, granted, wasn't a very long list but still. Vacations don't last forever though, and the new year needed to begin.</p><p>"Are—Are the Avengers <em>here</em>?" Beth turned to ask me. The girl's hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she wore a cream sweater tucked into her dark jeans and knee length boots. Since I was the boss, or whatever, I told her that there was no required uniform anytime she came here. If we were out dealing with other people we'd have to dress up but I was saving the dress clothes for that and that alone.</p><p>"Nah, not right now." I motioned for her to follow me to the dining room table. The Avengers had left a couple hours ago on a mission. It was another HYDRA base busting mission. Here's to hoping 2015 was different from 2014 and their mission wouldn't be interrupted by my ass getting kidnapped. Fingers crossed. "They'll probably be back tomorrow morning."</p><p>Beth's eyes widened, "Wow, so you're in this Tower all alone until then?"</p><p>"Not completely alone." I shrugged. "I always have JARVIS. Right, J?"</p><p>"<em>Always, Ms. Bradshaw</em>."</p><p>Beth stared up at the ceiling in amazement and I chuckled to myself. To this day, I still sometimes glanced up when I spoke to JARVIS just out of habit. Tony made fun of me every time I did. Being completely alone in the Tower was a little daunting, but I was more worried about them. I knew the Avengers were badass superheroes, but I don't think I'd ever not worry when they left on a mission. I'd probably stay up all night waiting for them.</p><p>"So, how was your new years?" I asked.</p><p>"It was so much fun." Beth smiled. "I hung out with some friends like I do every year."</p><p>"Not your family?"</p><p>Beth shook her head, "They live all the way out in Washington. The state. I usually only see them a couple of times a year. Anyways, let's get started!"</p><p>The way she rushed through the answer told me family might be a sore topic, so I made the mental note to steer away from it. Beth sat down beside me and readied her workspace by pulling out her computer along with a thick notebook.</p><p>"Before we jump into public relations, I do have to go over some ground rules courtesy of the Avengers." I folded my hands together in front of me. Beth nodded intently and grabbed a pen to write with as I spoke. "You've already signed all the confidentiality papers, but I need to remind you how <em>important</em> that is for this group. When we start going to meetings and interviews you may be approached with questions. If any of them ask you about anything Avenger related, I need you to shut it down and then just direct them to me. Don't answer <em>anything</em>. It's not that I don't trust you, Beth, it's more… The Avengers are <em>peculiar</em> about their information being out there."</p><p>More than being picky about it, they were downright worried. Leaving a social presence was a safety risk. There was always that nagging worry that a villain would be able to find some trail or clue to hurt them, but the Avengers also couldn't afford to not do this. Despite being superheroes and some of the greatest people I've ever met, there was a chunk of the public who was still wary of them. It was like they could do nothing right in their eyes. Captain America saves a family of four from a burning building, but all they focus on is the damage Steve left going from one building to the next to save them.</p><p>As dumb as I felt the public was, we needed them to support the Avengers. If the outcry grew too large. They'd have to worry about politicians jumping on the crazy train. Just yesterday they had sat me down to catch me up on the importance of all this. There was talk, all over the world, of trying to put the Avengers, and other heroes, on a leash. The goal was to avoid that kind of talk at all costs.</p><p>"I completely understand, and I don't take it personally." Beth reassured me. "One of my classes was actually all about this kind of stuff. I get that the privacy of my clients come first and I would <em>never</em> overstep those bounds. Is there anything else I should know?"</p><p>I nodded, "Yeah, if anyone tries to refer to the Avengers as SHIELD or as a branch of SHIELD, correct them on it. The Avengers are a <em>separate entity</em> from SHIELD and though we do work and cooperate with them on missions, they do <em>not</em> make decisions for the Avengers."</p><p>It was another thing the group had insisted on. When SHIELD was disbanded earlier this year, due to being infested with HYDRA assholes, the plan had been to end it entirely. Steve, Natasha, and the others had planned on burying SHIELD in a shallow grave alongside the remnants of HYDRA. The Avengers as an official group had been born in that moment. They had always worked as a team, but at that point they were officially a…well, a <em>conglomerate</em> for a lack of a better word? Of course, after a few weeks they realized a lot of HYDRA was still running around and something needed to be done about that. The new SHIELD was born, a smaller version of what it once was, and they now were separate from the superheroes I called a family. With this whole '<em>social identity'</em> thing, they didn't want the public associating them with SHIELD anymore because of the stigma the secret organization still held on account of being infested with evil, bastard nazis. It was understandable to want some distance from that.</p><p>Beth grinned, "Got it. Next?"</p><p>"That was kind of it?" I shrugged. "If something else comes up I'll let you know, but those were the two big things they wanted me to go over with you."</p><p>"Ok, well, do you want me to show you the work I did over the holidays?"</p><p>"Hit me with it." I grinned.</p><p>"Twitter is an easy one to set up for them and it will give them easy access to communicate with fans and the public. I think our focus at the moment should be building them Instagram accounts where they can show more of themselves to the world. As much as they want to show though, of course." Beth flipped open her notebook and I recognized the list of fun facts I sent to her weeks ago. It had been printed out and taped to the paper with notes all around it. "Tony Stark is the easiest. He's had PR specialists working with him for years and he probably knows the rules of being in the public eye."</p><p>I chuckled, "Yeah I'm sure he knows them, but whether or not he'll follow them is another thing altogether."</p><p>Beth giggled but continued, "With Ms. Romanof, you mentioned that she had an interest in fashion?" I nodded. "Ok, so I was thinking, her posts could be centered around that! She could put up pictures of you guys in outfits that she coordinated or pictures of herself in outfits. There's a number of people who would love seeing her style or even try copying some of her looks."</p><p>"That's a pretty good idea." I mumbled in thought. Natasha had voiced that her interest in Instagram was relatively low, but this might change her mind. She had thought she'd have to share specific parts of her life, but with this all she had to do was share her clothing choices and I knew she loved doing that. Especially if the rest of us ended up being her models of choice.</p><p>Beth beamed at me, "Great! With Mr. Barton, I thought he could do a special bit where every week, or whenever, he made posts about some obscure food place he's found. It'd be fun for people to follow and it'd be good advertisement to all the tiny places he likes to frequent."</p><p>The young girl had a good idea for every Avenger. For Steve, she thought it could center around his art. For Bruce, it could be focused on his work. We both agreed that regardless of what we thought up for Tony he'd end up posting whatever the hell he wanted. The next half hour was spent talking more about the logistics of each. It was January 3rd today, a Saturday, and my plan had been to get all this going by the coming Wednesday. However, my brilliant new employee suggested a slower release. So we could ride the excitement of the public as long as possible. Their first big interview was scheduled for Friday and it would be perfect if we had them officially online before then.</p><p>I felt the burner phone in my pocket. Ironically, it was burning a hole in my jacket. Beth was preoccupied with typing something on her computer so I discreetly pulled the phone out of my pocket, holding it under the table, while I glanced at the screen. The last text I had sent Bucky was this morning and it had been an answer to a random question from him late last night. He still hadn't sent me another text though. I typed another.</p><p>
  <em>'What're you up to today?'</em>
</p><p>We were set for our daily talk in a couple of hours so maybe it was dumb of me to try and reach out to him right now. He was probably busy.</p><p>"Now with <em>you</em>—"</p><p>My eyes snapped up and I shoved the phone back into my pocket to stare at Beth, "Huh?"</p><p>"Oh, I was going to go over my idea for your account."</p><p>I shook my head, "Is it normal for the public relations person to also have a special Instagram?"</p><p>"No, but you're not exactly a normal public relations specialist." Beth chuckled.</p><p>"Is it because I'm not actually a specialist?"</p><p>"It's because you're <em>famous</em>, Aj." Beth replied with a smile that I just stared at in shock. I shook my head once, ready to argue, but she didn't give me the chance, "Haven't you noticed people tend to stare at you when you got out these days?"</p><p>I shrugged, "Yeah, but that's usually because I have an Avenger babysitting me."</p><p>"They're looking at <em>you</em>." Beth shook her head. "You're the mysterious woman that lives with the Avengers! The tabloids have tried to figure out more about you since the beginning. They said you were dating Tony, then they said that Hawkeye was your sugar daddy—"</p><p>I let out a laugh, that had been the funniest tabloid of all, "Broke ass, <em>human disaster</em> Clint would be the <em>worst</em> sugar daddy of them all. He's got Stark cash backing him, but he's <em>never</em> gonna shake that broke mindset."</p><p>"Most recently, the pictures of you and Steve in Paris have them claiming you to be Captain America's girlfriend."</p><p>"I almost broke my ankle. He was helping me get around Disneyland." I argued. "It's still insane that they got their hands on those pictures so fast though."</p><p>Beth chuckled and held her hands out to me, "My point is, you're more famous than you think you are, and I want to take advantage of that. You're the lynch pin of my entire plan!" She flipped open to a different page of her notebook. "With your account, we can show a peek into their day to day lives. Captain America setting the dinner table, Iron Man tinkering in his lab, the Black Widow watching Netflix."</p><p>"Ok, yeah, I get that, but why does it have to be <em>my</em> account?" I questioned. "Can't we just make it a general Avengers account that we post pictures of them on?"</p><p>Beth nodded, "We could, but I think if we make it feel like it's from your point of view then the public gets to walk a day in your shoes. The world wants to be you, Aj. They want to see what you see and feel like they're part of the day to day in the way you are."</p><p>It made sense, I guess. Enough so that I couldn't find an argument against it. I shrugged and gave Beth a small smirk, "Well, you are the expert. I hired you for this so it'd be dumb of me to ignore your advice."</p><p>"This is going to be great, I promise." Beth reassured me. "Fans are going to flock to your account. One picture of sweaty Captain America winding down from his morning jog while drinking coffee—"</p><p>"He actually drinks that nasty ass green smoothie shit."</p><p>"<em>That</em>! One picture of that, with a caption in your voice, and the internet will break." Beth said firmly. "His fanclub would have a collective heart attack."</p><p>I nodded and motioned to her curiously, "So is that a real thing then? They have <em>fanclubs</em>?"</p><p>Beth nodded quickly, "<em>Oh my God, yes</em>. And some of them are…are a little intense, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"I bet they hate me now that the world thinks I'm sort of dating him." I chuckled to myself.</p><p>Beth shrugged, "It's torn. Some don't like you because they like the idea of Steve being single, the dream of stumbling into him and falling in love, and others just don't like it because they have this <em>weird </em>opinion on who he should date, but for the most part people like it! The fans want Steve to be happy after all and if you make him happy—"</p><p>With an amused smirk, I held up one hand, "First, I am not dating Steve. We're just really good friends. Second", I couldn't help but chuckle, "You seem to know a <em>lot</em> about this Captain America fanclub."</p><p>Beth's face went bright red and she stammered out a quick excuse of having to know everything about her clients. I nodded along and chose not to tease her any further. I'd ease her into my weird ass personality. We went back to working side by side fleshing out Beth's ideas. I was more and more convinced that I picked the perfect person for this job. Beth was smart and clever, and more than that she seemed to actually care about how the Avengers looked to the public. That's what I needed in an employee. Someone who cared about protecting them.</p><p>"<em>Ms. Bradshaw, you have a video call waiting for you."</em> JARVIS spoke up.</p><p>"Bring it up, J." I replied and leaned back in my seat so I could casually look at the holographic screen that projected off to my side. A second later the call connected, and Tony's face filled the screen. "<em>Tony</em>? I thought you went dark for the mission?"</p><p>"We did, but I needed to talk to you really quick." Tony said and my eyes widened in worry. He continued, "That argument we had yesterday? <em>I was right</em>. That guy's jacket was <em>not</em> orange. I asked Nat and she agreed with me."</p><p>Nat's voice came from somewhere in the back, "I said you were <em>both</em> wrong."</p><p>I blinked in shock, "This is why you're calling me? You <em>jackass</em>!" Beth jumped slightly in her seat. "I was worried something had happened!"</p><p>"I told you to stop worrying. We'll be fine. Plus, we aren't even at the base yet so—"</p><p>"As soon as you get back, I'm murdering you." I replied. Beth lifted her notebook, she was out of view of the screen, and tapped on a spot where we had taken notes. I nodded and looked back to Tony, "Oh, right, we need to make y'all account handles. Any ideas or do we have free reign?"</p><p>Tony shook his head, "I already have one. Check my Twitter."</p><p>"I don't have a Twitter—"</p><p>"<em>J, pull up my Twitter</em>!" Tony called out.</p><p>A second later another screen popped up to show his Twitter page and I glanced around until I found his account's username. I rolled my eyes and bit back a sigh, "At <em>'youknowwhoiam'</em>? <em>Really</em>?"</p><p>"You know who I am." Tony shrugged with a smirk. His eyes darted to the side, "Oh, I gotta go. Steve's giving me the eyebrows of disappointment. I'll text you the other handles."</p><p>I said a quick goodbye, but the screen went dark mid-word. Beth was already jotting down Tony's username and making a note that his Twitter was already formed. My real phone buzzed against the table and I opened the text. There was a picture of Steve glaring at the camera, more aptly put glaring at Tony, and then under it was an actual text.</p><p>"Bruce has a Twitter too apparently." I read. "Steve said we should just pick his, Nat wants to be…<em>'tripleimposter'</em>? Ok. And Clint wants his to be '<em>Hawkeyenotguy'</em>." Beth raised an eyebrow at me while I chuckled. I motioned to the phone, "We went to Starbucks once and the barista kept calling him 'Hawk<em>-guy' </em>instead of 'Hawk-<em>eye'</em>. Then I got everyone in the Tower to also call him that for a few days. He was bitter about it."</p><p>Beth chuckled, "Well, I can work with those. Will the handle at '<em>captainamerica'</em> work?"</p><p>"Make it at '<em>captainsteverogers'</em>." I replied. My mind always separated Steve from the Captain America mantle, and this whole social media thing was supposed to show a side of who the Avengers really were right? Beth nodded and began to work away on her computer again. I glanced down to my lap and pulled out the burner phone again. Still no response. It would be pathetic to send another text, right? He was obviously busy with a life of his own. I shoved the phone back into my pocket and tried to focus back on the task at hand. Something felt off, I had a weird feeling in my gut, but it was probably nothing. The Avengers were out on mission and my nerves were just seeping into every thought I had. Everything was fine.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Daisy sighed and ran a hand through her short hair. She was actually still trying to get sued to the new length of her hair. Chopping more than half of it off seemed fitting under the '<em>new year, new her'</em> kind of mentality. Still, it'd probably be another day and a half before she got used to how light it made her head feel.</p><p>Her eyes landed on the bottle of fish pills sitting on the table in front of her. The inhuman problem seemed to be solved when the quinjet of crystals was dumped into the ocean, but it was actually only the start. The crystals had leaked the terrigenesis chemical into the surrounding sea life which was then promptly caught and turned into fish pills. Daisy always hated taking fish pills in the past, but she only hated it because of the size. Now people had to worry about going into a metamorphosis that would transform them into something they didn't understand.</p><p>"No, no, <em>no</em>." Fitz groaned, "I <em>told</em> you it's <em>not</em> ready yet!"</p><p>"Well, mate, my mission is in <em>five minutes</em>." Hunter argued back, "So I'm thinking it is."</p><p>The two were arguing about something or another. Hunter was supposed to be heading out soon with Coulson. Bobbi wanted to go with them, but she was still off active duty until her knee was back at 100%. With Bobbi out and May retired, it left them feeling short staffed. Daisy missed May, but she understood the reason why the woman backed away from the action. Last she heard, May was vacationing somewhere with her ex-husband who was now her sort of boyfriend. Good for her.</p><p>Daisy grabbed the scrap of paper she had and began to write a quick note on it. She had never had the choice to become inhuman. Daisy didn't regret it and she loved knowing who she was. Becoming inhuman, finding her potential, was one of the greatest things to happen to her. Still, looking back it would be nice to have had a say in it. Maybe the adjustment would've been better. It wouldn't have been so <em>jarring</em>. That's all anyone deserved. <em>A choice</em>.</p><p>"Daisy—" Simmons stuck her head into the lab and suddenly noticed that Fitz and Hunter were still going back and forth. "Is this about the new icer? Fitz, just give it to him. Worst case scenario he gets frostbite."</p><p>"Yeah, see—<em>wait</em>, <em>frostbite</em>?" Hunter's head snapped to her.</p><p>Simmons ignored the dismay and turned back to her, "Mac is looking for you. There's been another." The two guys grew quiet and Daisy let out a small sigh. She grabbed the bottle and the note and crossed the room. Simmons gave her a curious look when she held it out to her. "What is this?"</p><p>"Do me a favor?" Daisy asked and her friend agreed without hesitation. "Can you get this to Avengers Tower?"</p><p>Simmons took the bottle and note with a nod, "Aj?"</p><p>"Yeah. Should've sent it a week ago." Daisy chuckled. She thanked Simmons, said quick goodbyes, then hurried out of the room to where she knew she would find Mac. Daisy didn't have to look far though. She was only steps down the hall when Mac stepped out of a doorway and met her quickly, "<em>Tremors</em>!" The tall man turned her around and now they were moving to the hangar instead, "Simmons tell you?"</p><p>"Yeah, she did. Another inhuman popped up?"</p><p>"Small town in New Hampshire." Mac nodded. "There's been reports of damage in the town, but no injuries or casualties so far. It looks like the inhuman has some sort of fire ability."</p><p>Daisy nodded and they jogged onto the quinjet. Mac got it up into the air while Daisy checked that their containment pod was still attached and in working order. The entire inside of the pod was created with a power dampener. It essentially turned off the abilities of whatever inhuman was inside of it. Very useful when dealing with someone who doesn't understand what's happening with their body.</p><p>"Do we have eyes on them?" Daisy asked but brought up the video feed herself before Mac could even answer. The only security feed they had on the new inhuman was of a young girl stumbling down what looked like the main street of a small town. Metal around her was melting as she walked. "We need to get there fast."</p><p>"I was right in the middle of cataloguing the new 0-8-4s we found last week." Mac shook his head in annoyance.</p><p>Daisy couldn't help but chuckle. Mac was one of the biggest helps she had in the journey to help get all these new inhumans settled. Coulson had put her in charge of the inhumans because he knew she had their best intentions in mind. It was the smart move and Daisy was glad he had trusted her with it. He also had put Mac in charge of all alien and unknown artifacts. Another smart move since Mac was the most skeptical of these items of all of them. He was extra cautious with everything he worked with.</p><p>"I was in the middle of listening to Hunter and Fitz argue."</p><p>"So, the call was lucky on your end then." Mac replied with a shake of his head. Daisy moved to change from her day clothes into her field uniform. While she pulled on her gloves, Mac spoke up again, "You hear from that Lincoln kid yet?"</p><p>Daisy shook her head, "No. He hasn't answered me."</p><p>Lincoln had left after everything because he needed time away from the inhuman community. After everything that happened, she couldn't fault him for it. That didn't stop her from worrying though. SHIELD had noticed that some inhumans were disappearing off the face of the Earth with no explanation. It was getting to the point where they couldn't keep up. It was really beginning to worry Daisy.</p><p>"I'm sure he's fine. He said he just wanted space." Mac tried to reassure her. The words were appreciated, but they didn't quite hit home for her. Daisy nodded in thanks regardless. Lincoln could take care of himself. She had faith in that. She had faith in him. "You talk to Avengers girl, yet?"</p><p>Daisy chuckled, "Aj. Her name is <em>Aj</em>."</p><p>Mac nodded, "Right." He had heard plenty about her, but Daisy knew he hadn't officially met her yet. The day he was in the Tower, things had been a little too busy for the normal meet and greet. "Have you talked to her yet?"</p><p>"Sort of?" Daisy replied. "I've been meaning too. Simmons is gonna drop off a bottle of the fish pills we confiscated."</p><p>Mac's eyes widened, "Really? Think she'll take them? We could seriously use a few more hands around here."</p><p>"I don't know. I just wanted to give her the choice." Daisy said. Mac gave her a small smile and a nod of respect. Daisy knew that if Aj took the pills, chose to be inhuman, then that wouldn't necessarily mean that she'd help them. Daisy hoped. Just like Mac said, they were shorthanded and could really use the help. She felt like she had gotten to know Aj fairly well via phone since they met. Based off what little Daisy knew, she had a strong feeling the young woman would help them if she had the capability to. Regardless, Daisy felt good knowing she had given Aj a choice in the matter.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>I had gone downstairs to get Beth and I some coffee. Seeing the stand was still difficult, but it helped to see Sal behind the counter again. He was moving around the stand, helping with orders, and he was a little slower than before but still just as happy. Rather than getting in line, I walked to the side so I could talk to him while he worked.</p><p>"Hey, Sal."</p><p>"<em>Aj</em>!" He chirped with a wide grin, "How are you this morning?"</p><p>"No complaints. How do you feel? Are you—"</p><p>Sal made a '<em>tsk'ing</em> noise with his mouth, "If you ask me if I'm okay one more time, I'm going to start making your drinks badly on purpose."</p><p>I chuckled and shoved my hands into my pockets, "I just like making sure, Sal. We all know you don't know the definition of taking it easy."</p><p>"You sound just like Jonny." Sal scoffed and passed off a drink to one of his employees.</p><p>"From what I'm gathering, your husband is the only one with common sense in this relationship." I hit back with a smirk. Sal rolled his eyes at me before asking what I wanted. I told him Beth's order on top of my usual and stepped away to wait. He always tried to get my drink out first, but I insisted that I didn't mind waiting since he was so busy today. As I stood off to the side, I let my eyes crawl over the lobby nervously. It didn't feel like anyone was watching me, and I didn't see any sketchy figures sitting around waiting to jump up with a gun. Still, I couldn't put my guard down.</p><p>The phone in my pocket suddenly began to vibrate and it made me nearly jump out of my skin. I yanked the burner phone out curiously. It was only 9:35 in the morning. That was like two hours too early for our usual phone date. Maybe he saw my text and decided to call early.</p><p>"Sal, I gotta take a call. Cancel my order for now!" I called out.</p><p>Sal poked his head over the half wall, "Everything ok?"</p><p>I sent him a quick reassurance before jogging out of the Tower. I got to the edge of the plaza and quickly answered the phone before it stopped ringing, a chuckle left my lips, "Hey! Sorry it took me a second to answer, you caught me off guard. I had to run outta the Tower." There was only silence on his end of the line. I pressed the phone closer to my ear and used my free hand to block the excess noise from my other ear. "<em>Hey</em>? Are you there? Is everything ok—"</p><p>A string of Russian came over the line to me. I nearly panicked at the sound, but I recognized the voice. The voice belonged to Bucky. I could tell. It was <em>wrong</em> though. Bucky's voice was charming and confident. It tended to sound a bit husky over the phone, but not like this. This low voice was closer to being guttural and it was flat. There wasn't an ounce of emotion in it. He spoke again, more Russian, but it ended in a quick blurb of English, "<em>What is my name?</em>"</p><p>"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes." I said quickly. Who knew how much time I had before he hung up the phone entirely. Bucky had told me about how he'd have lapses in his memory. Days or moments where he felt like the Soldier was in control. I hadn't seen it firsthand like this though. The Soldier had never called me. My brain scrambled to find the facts that I think would help him best, "Your friends call you Bucky. Your mom's name was Winnifred and you had a sister named Rebecca. The two of you were <em>really</em> close. Your best friend's name is Steve and he misses you. You and Steve were brothers in everything except blood. He's the most important person in your life, your only connection to your past. You served in the 107th infantry and you told me that growing up you hadn't really given any other career path much thought, but you really loved science." My words were tumbling out of my mouth and the brief moments where I would pause, all I could hear on his end of the line was a strained breathing. Like he was hurt. "Your favorite time of day is early morning, when the sun is rising, and you've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon."</p><p>He took in a sharp, ragged breath before speaking, "I'm Bucky. <em>I'm Bucky</em>."</p><p>Bucky's voice was back, but he sounded exhausted. Even the exhaustion couldn't hide the relief though. I sighed, in relief myself, before speaking up, "Yeah. You're Bucky. A <em>really</em> great man who has been dealt a <em>shit</em> hand of cards. My name is—"</p><p>"<em>You're Aj</em>." Bucky said softly. "I didn't forget that. You're Aj."</p><p>I wandered over to a bench and sat down. The clothes I had on, yoga pants, a long sleeve shirt, and Bucky's jacket, were hardly winter ready so I was freezing my ass off. But I'd sit here on this bench and talk to Bucky until my fingers turned black and fell off if it meant bringing him some kind of comfort right now.</p><p>"Are you ok?" I asked.</p><p>"I'm…<em>better</em>." Bucky replied. "Keep talking. About anything. I just need a minute."</p><p>So, I did. I started telling him about how the Avengers were out on mission and that I was working with a new employee to make social media accounts for the team. Then I went into detail about what Twitter and Instagram were and our plans for each Avenger. When I ran out of things to say about that I started talking about Sal's recovery.</p><p>"Thanks." Bucky spoke up during one of my pauses for a breath. His voice sounded much, much better. "I'm sorry I called you like that, doll. I <em>never</em> wanted you to hear me like that."</p><p>"That's what I'm here for, Bucky." I said firmly. "I <em>want</em> you to call me when you have these…episodes. I <em>want</em> to help. Please let me do that." It was quiet for another second. "What brought this one on?"</p><p>Bucky didn't immediately reply, and I was worried he wouldn't, but finally he spoke up, "My own fault. Stayed up late last night and accidentally passed out in the middle of the day. Woke up from the nightmare… <em>lost</em>."</p><p>The last of his sentence was said so softly that I hardly even heard it over the noisy street around me. I bit down on my lower lip nervously. God, I wished I could do more for him. I curled in around myself trying to retain some heat, "You don't mention your nightmares very much. Do you…Do you want to talk about it? It might help?" Bucky was silent again, but I didn't let it deter me. "I have nightmares too. Not that I'm trying to, like, compete or anything, but… I'm not good at talking about them either, but the group says it helps. Tony talks about the ones he has with me, Clint does too, and even Steve talked it out with me once. It seems like it actually does help them."</p><p>I rolled the thought around in my head before continuing, "A lot of my nightmares have calmed down over time. I have this one though…it's a reoccurring one. I've had it for <em>years</em> now." Despite spending most of my time stuffing my terrible nightmares into boxes I'd never explore, I let this one come to the front of my mind. "I'm in the Pit, the special ring here that dips into the ground… I'm in the Pit and I'm surrounded by a faceless crowd. The air always feels thick and heavy, like I'm trying to breathe underwater, and I'm fighting someone. Who it is changes, usually. Sometimes it's Boss, sometimes it's a random fighter I've seen in the ring, I had one a week ago where it was <em>Vincent</em>. The worst one I had was…" It felt like I had glue in my throat. I had to swallow a few times before I could speak again, "The worst one I had, it was <em>Clint</em>. I don't know why my brain put him in the Pit with me, but it was him and—and <em>God</em>, I couldn't even look him in the eyes the next morning. It always goes the same, no matter who it is... We're fighting and I start to lose. The other person is wailing on me, beating me into the ground, while the faceless crowd just silently watches. Then I <em>snap</em>. I start to win, but I don't stop. I <em>can't</em> stop. I'm on top of them, and I'm punching and punching and <em>punching</em> until all I see is blood and <em>I still don't stop</em>." My hands were cold and now they were shaking. It was almost too hard to hold the damn phone. "I never told anyone about that one. I'm always afraid they'll think I'm…"</p><p>A <em>monster</em>. A bloodthirsty monster craving only violence and hatred.</p><p>"Mine are usually memories." Bucky suddenly said and my eyes widened. "Memories from when I…The thing is, I remember <em>every</em> mission. There's so much from my past that I can't remember. I can't remember how I spent my 18th birthday. I can't remember the first girl I kissed or my first date. I can't remember Rebecca's favorite color. <em>None of it</em>. But I remember those <em>Goddamn</em> missions." His voice was sharp and full of pain. It was the first time I had ever heard him curse while talking to me. I wished it hadn't happened like this though. I always hoped he'd slip up so I could mock him, but this? I wished we didn't have to have this conversation. I wished I could take away his pain. "In my nightmares, I <em>re-live</em> it. Every night it's a new mission. A new death I get to watch in first person. I think it's why… I think it's why I feel lost when I wake up. The memory of the mission fades away, but the Soldier doesn't. He sticks around for longer."</p><p>"Bucky, I'm <em>so</em> sorry." I said. It felt like my heart was breaking for him. Nobody deserves to be cursed like that. To have loving memories replaced by bloody ones. Bucky especially didn't deserve it. "You <em>aren't</em> the Solider. That <em>isn't</em> who you are."</p><p>"And you aren't the monster that haunts your own nightmares, doll." He replied back.</p><p>We sat there for a moment just listening to the other take in steadying breaths. Finally, I snorted, "We're kind of a wreck, huh?"</p><p>Bucky chuckled, "If that's the case, you're the <em>loveliest</em> wreck I've ever seen."</p><p>"There's my charming dreamboat." I replied. Bucky began to try and apologize again for calling me, but I didn't let him even try to finish his sentence. "You have literally nothing to apologize for. You were there for me when I was collapsing like a dying star on the anniversary of my mom's death. The least I can do is be here for you."</p><p>"I don't know how I'm ever going to pay off the debt I owe you, doll."</p><p>I let out a bark of laughter, "<em>Debt</em>? Do I need to remind you that when we first met, you were in the process of saving my idiot life?" Bucky chuckled. "Besides, I want to be there for you, Bucky. That's not something you'd ever have to pay back to me."</p><p>"I…" He began then hesitated. I stayed silent, letting him collect his thoughts. "<em>Never mind</em>. What do you have planned today? Other than the—the social media stuff."</p><p>I didn't know what he stopped himself from saying, but it didn't bother me all that much. If it was important, he'd share eventually. I chuckled, "I'm planning on sitting in my room and worrying for a couple hours."</p><p>"Because of their mission?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"You're not outside alone right now, are you?"</p><p>I couldn't help but let out another laugh, "I'm talking to you, Bucky. Of course, I'm outside alone."</p><p>"Maybe you should go back inside while the Avengers are on mission." Bucky suggested. "Your track record for this stuff isn't very good."</p><p>I scoffed, "Statistically speaking, there's no way I get attacked <em>again</em> while they're on mission. That's gotta be like a one in a million occurrence."</p><p>"From what I'm gathering, you have that kind of luck." Bucky chuckled. I couldn't entirely argue with that.</p><p>"Alright." I nodded to myself. "I gotta go in anyways because I'm pretty sure I'm like two minutes from hypothermia."</p><p>"<em>What</em>—?"</p><p>"<em>But here's the plan</em>!" I ignored his brief panic. "I'm gonna send my new employee home, and then lock myself in my bathroom and we're gonna spend the entire day talking. I won't have to worry about Steve or Nat sneaking up on me today."</p><p>Bucky began to argue, "You don't gotta do that, doll. I'm fine."</p><p>"Well, according to you, you're in debt to me, right?" I smirked and stood to walk back towards the Tower, "I'm cashing that so-called debt in right now. You're stuck with me for the rest of the day."</p><p>Bucky relented with a chuckle, "That's not so bad of a punishment."</p><p>"Jokes on you, because you're about to get <em>very</em> sick and tired of my voice."</p><p>"You said that before. After you first woke up in the bunker." Bucky replied. I tried to think back. He was probably right. I was well aware of how much I tended to talk. I couldn't actually remember it though. There were a handful of moments that were blurry in my brain. I blame the concussion and sepsis. "It's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard you say."</p><p>I laughed, "Buck, I think you're <em>severely</em> underestimating my ability to spout off <em>dumb shit</em>."</p><p>"You thinking I'd <em>ever</em> get tired of hearing your voice, is the definition of dumb." Bucky argued. He let out a soft hum, mumbling something in another language, then spoke again, "If my life were a record, your voice would be my favorite track."</p><p>There was a fluttering feeling in my chest and I felt my cheeks heat up. I smiled to myself, "I love when you say that cheesy stuff."</p><p>"<em>I know</em>." Bucky chuckled. "Call me when you get settled, doll."</p><p>We hung up on one another and for a second I just stared at the burner phone in my hand. The whole reason I started talking on the phone to Bucky was to convince him to come home, but I had been slacking on that front. These days I was talking to him just because I loved talking to him. I still wanted him to come home obviously, but I was hardly making moves to get that done. Claiming my conversations with him were a ploy to tempt him home was the only thing that staved off the guilt of lying to Steve and the others. Maybe this meant I needed to rethink my priorities here, but I knew nothing would change. Regardless of the guilt I felt, I'd never betray Bucky's trust. Not even for Steve. Why did I have to be a bad friend to Steve in order to be a good friend to Bucky?</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The metal weighed heavy on his skin, it itched and quite frankly hurt like a mother, but it was better than a damn cast. All a cast would do is get in his fucking way. The metal he let that <em>nazi bastard</em> weld around his arm had a damn flamethrower attached to the end. This was much, much better. Vincent twisted his arm around to glance at the steel that encased his arm. That stupid bitch had snapped his arm in two and his elbow was fucked to hell. He could've let it heal on its own, but he chose the weaponization option instead. Now he might never have a normal arm, but, again, it had a <em>fucking flamethrower</em>.</p><p>"Hey, <em>Kraut</em>!" He barked. The bald-headed asshole's shoulders stiffened, and Vincent let his lips curl up into a smirk. It was almost <em>too</em> easy to get a rise out of this guy. "You need a minute of privacy to stalk those superhero pussies, or are you gonna tell me the fucking plan?"</p><p>Von Strucker had approached him. More accurately, the guy had sent some lackey to approach him. Admittedly, he had the first lackey killed. The guy rubbed him the wrong way, but the second one Von Strucker sent had talked a bit quicker than the other. Did Vincent Morgan, the Reaper, want to work with this nazi shithead? No, he didn't, he didn't like sharing the end goal with anyone, but the amount of money put on the table left him with no other options. His baby brother Eugene would be pissed to find out that his plans for dealing with Small Fry had changed, but that honestly just made this new plan so much more appealing.</p><p>"I told you to not call me that." Von Strucker growled in annoyance. Behind him, the security feed was showing the Avengers taking down some other base of theirs.</p><p>"Aw, you in a pissy mood because the Avengers are out breaking your toys?"</p><p>"The loss of that base, like the loss of List and the other bases, is inconsequential." Von Strucker replied coldly. His accent grated on Vincent's nerves. "A sacrifice that needs to be made."</p><p>Vincent scoffed, "You're ice cold, you nazi piece of shit."</p><p>The man narrowed his eyes at him, but it didn't faze Vincent. He's dealt with worse and all he could think about was how stupid Von Strucker's single glass eye piece was. Von Strucker turned back to watch the screen, and Vincent let his own gaze drift toward it as well. Vincent was a ballsy kind of guy, but he wasn't suicidal. Taking on the Avengers seemed like a half assed kind of plan, and if the nazi thought he was gonna even <em>attempt</em> that shit he had another thing coming.</p><p>"You rang?" A new, gravelly voice questioned.</p><p>Vincent turned and his eyes widened at the sight of the tall, badly burned man. He wore tactical gear, had multiple weapons on him, but all he could focus on was the warped and scarred skin that covered every inch of his body that was shown. Vincent shook his head, "<em>Holy shit</em>, you are one <em>ugly</em> motherfucker."</p><p>The man reached for the handgun at his thigh, Vincent raised an eyebrow at the motion, but Von Strucker threw out a hand halting the threat, "Rumlow, down."</p><p>Rumlow clenched his jaw angrily, but Vincent just winked at him, "Yeah, boy, <em>down</em>." The badly burned man's lip curled into a sneer, but it only amused Vincent more. This guy was easy to fuck with too. He'd keep that in mind. "So, what's got us all hanging out around here? You invite us for the '<em>Avengers fucking up your shit'</em> watch party, Krout?"</p><p>Von Strucker's jaw clenched briefly, "I thought it was time the two of you met. Since apparently you can't pick up a little girl—"</p><p>"The bitch can fight! Eugene undersold her talent and then that freak spider kid swung in and fucked everything up!" Vincent roared. He hated that Small Fry had slipped out of his grasp, but he hated Von Strucker insinuating he couldn't do this on his own more. "I don't need <em>Freddy Kreuger</em>—" He motioned to Rumlow, "—getting in my <em>damn</em> way!"</p><p>"Sir, if you would tell me the mission, I'm sure I can handle it. <em>Alone</em>." Rumlow growled.</p><p>Von Strucker mumbled something under his breath in German then began to walk away. Rumlow was quick to follow his steps, but Vincent lagged behind. The lab he led them to was buzzing with activity that he didn't quite understand. All the workers in the room were speaking various languages, but even if they spoke English he knew, based on the equations and formulas on the board, that this would go over his head. Vincent's eyes landed on a staff sitting on a glass table hooked up with wires to various machines. The end of it glowed an eerie yellow that drew him in like a moth to a flame.</p><p>"My work here is <em>monumental</em>. I cannot waste any more time putting effort in this manhunt." Von Strucker snapped. Vincent looked away from the staff to see that the scientist was standing in front of two cells. The thick, glass wall allowed them to look in. One room had a man lying on the bed vibrating like he was having a seizure while the other had a pretty girl lying absolutely still, staring up at the ceiling, with glowing red in her eyes.</p><p>"<em>What the fuck</em>?" Vincent questioned.</p><p>"Inhumans are the future of warfare." Von Strucker said. "The super solider serum is coming along slowly, and we are missing vital pieces. So, while I wait, I create my own weapons."</p><p>He droned on about his mission and view, but Vincent mentally checked out of the conversation. He <em>hated</em> this guy. Von Strucker was pretentious, arrogant, and absolutely insane. Personally, Vincent had no issue with those traits specifically. He knew some would describe him the same way, but something about the way it mixed in this nazi bastard truly rubbed him the wrong way. Vincent was a terrible human being, he knew that, but he was an <em>American</em> piece of shit. If he didn't need the resources HYDRA had to offer him, Vincent was sure he'd really enjoy putting a bullet between this guy's eyes. Hell, he <em>daydreamed</em> about it.</p><p>"I need the Bradshaw children." Von Strucker suddenly snapped. Vincent focused back in. "One is in Greece the other in New York. The two of you will work together to bring them to me or I will no longer have use for either of you. Now, go."</p><p>Von Strucker waved them off and slipped away to speak to another scientist. Rumlow turned to face him and both men just stared at each other for a minute. The guy looked like a shriveled asshole but dealing with anyone other than Strucker had to be a step up.</p><p>Vincent nodded once, "You were military, weren't you?" Rumlow didn't reply, but Vincent knew it when he saw it. He had been a marine himself for years. He chuckled, "You buy into this HYDRA bullshit? You a nazi son of a bitch too?"</p><p>"I'm <em>not</em> a nazi. That isn't what this is about. HYDRA is about <em>order</em>. A <em>new</em> order." Rumlow said gruffly. He took what he thought was a threatening step forward, "We—"</p><p>Vincent let out a bark of laughter, "I'm not part of this scene. I like to keep to my little part of the world, <em>my little kingdom</em>, but I know enough to know that HYDRA was founded by a bunch of <em>nazis</em>. So, you can parade around thinking otherwise, but that just makes you a dumb son of a bitch on top of it all."</p><p>"Then what does that make you?" Rumlow scoffed, "You're here too."</p><p>Vincent smirked and gave him a nod, "I have the little one. You can pick up the older sister. I hear Greece is nice this time of year. Maybe it'll help your complexion."</p><p>He turned and began to leave the lab. Rumlow called out after him, something about needing to work together, but Vincent blew him off. He didn't give two shits what Strucker thought. Vincent didn't <em>need </em>Rumlow's help. He didn't <em>want</em> his help. And as for working with this nazi organization? Well, <em>fuck 'em all</em>. He just needed an opening to get to Small Fry, a means to an end, and they gave him that. Vincent was going to get her, he was going to beat the <em>ever loving shit</em> out of the bitch, maybe break every joint she has as payback, and then she was coming with him to Vegas. Maybe he'd even get a chance to kill Strucker at the end of this too. That'd be a nice little bonus.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>"Ms. Bradshaw, a package was left on the deck for you."</em> JARVIS called out as I was making dinner. The plan had been to eat something small, but I had skipped lunch to keep talking to Bucky and now I was starving. I called out a quick thanks then jogged to the elevator for it to take me to the penthouse.</p><p>"Who left the package?" I questioned. If JARVIS was telling me about it, and sending me to go pick it up, then it must not have been dangerous.</p><p>The elevator doors opened and I moved to cross the room. JARVIS spoke again, <em>"Ms. Simmons left it. She parked the quinjet and left it on the bench for you. Ms. Simmons also wanted me to tell you hello and that she was sorry she couldn't stay to talk."</em></p><p>Just like JARVIS said, the quinjet pad was empty of any ship and a small box sat on the bench for me. I scooped it up and hurried back to the elevator to go back to my floor. Staying in the penthouse, without anyone in the Tower with me, felt too weird. The space was too large, too empty, and too quiet.</p><p>When the elevator doors opened back to my floor, the radio I left on was still playing and I was halfway into tearing the box open. Inside was a bottle of those Omega-3 Fish Oil pills you could buy at any drug store and a piece of scratch paper with scribbling on it. I tucked the box under my arm and unfolded the paper.</p><p>
  <em>'Aj, I should've sent this to you when I first got my hands on it. I don't know how much you know, but more inhumans have been going through terrigenesis lately and it's because of this. The crystals we dumped into the ocean leaked and ended up being processed into a huge batch of these pills. If you want to become inhuman all you have to do is take one. The choice is yours and yours alone, don't let anyone sway you either way. Text me if you have questions. –Daisy'</em>
</p><p>The note fell from my fingers as I scrambled to grab the box again. I grabbed the bottle of pills and glanced it over. There was nothing special about them. The only thing that stood out was that the seal was broken. Even with the seal broken though, the bottle was entirely filled. It had to be missing only a couple of pills from it. I stared at the bottle in my hand. It felt a lot heavier now for some reason.</p><p>This was it.</p><p>All I had to do was take one of these and my life would forever be different. Just one pill. I assumed the deadly risks were null in void in this form since Daisy was sending it to me. I popped the cap off and shook a few out onto my palm. Funny how something so innocuous could be so life altering.</p><p>
  <em>"Ms. Bradshaw, your heartrate is elevated. Are you in distress? Shall I call sir?"</em>
</p><p>JARVIS' voice snapped me out of my daze.</p><p>"No. No need, J. I'm okay." I said quickly and put the pills back into the bottle. I jogged into my room, straight to my bathroom, and buried the bottle in the closet between two towels. My middle name was '<em>reckless</em>', <em>'spur of the moment'</em>, and '<em>impulsive</em>', but I'd hold back on this decision.</p><p>For now at least.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Beer Pong House Rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Enjoy the chapter, leave me comments!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>                                                                            </p><hr/>
<p>
  <em>"Most species</em>
</p>
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  <em>Bare their teeth</em>
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  <em>As a threat</em>
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  <em>As a display</em>
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  <em>Of aggression</em>
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<p>
  <em>Of leadership</em>
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  <em>It is a reminder</em>
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  <em>That these</em>
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  <em>Clenched jaws</em>
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  <em>Can and will</em>
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  <em>Open your</em>
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  <em>Yielding throat</em>
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  <em>I want you to think of this</em>
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  <em>The next time I smile."</em>
</p><hr/>
<p>It was mission time.</p>
<p>Two minutes to midnight, all hands-on deck, red alert, go time.</p>
<p>Beth was running around covering last minute issues while I stood in front of the Avengers ignoring the smug looks on each of their attractive faces. Natasha was dressed up in a gorgeous black, long sleeve dress with her medium length red hair curled and bright red lipstick. Bruce had on a nice black suit and the tie I had gifted him for Christmas. Clint wore a black leather jacket over a dark purple henley. It wasn't a suit, but he did have on dark jeans instead of sweatpants, so I took it as a win. Tony had on a dark blazer over one of his band shirts and a pair of red tinted glasses. There was no winning with him, and the public was well aware of how he was, so I didn't even bother. Lastly, Steve had on a blue and white plaid button up shirt tucked into khakis. It wasn't my favorite look on him, but he looked downright all-American.</p>
<p>"Okay", I flipped through a few papers on the clipboard I held, "Each of you will start with a reporter and after five minutes they'll cycle through. I've given them a specific list of topics they are <em>not</em> allowed to ask about. If they do, wave me over and I'll crack some skulls." I heard them snicker, but I didn't look up from my paper. "Beth will also be circling around, let her know if you need anything, but her task is to mostly snap some pictures of our own."</p>
<p>Clint cleared his throat, "If they ask me about your relationship to me, can I confirm that you are in fact my long-lost child from a failed relationship in my earlier years?"</p>
<p>"First off, I 100% know you started that rumor in the tabloids." I pointed at him, ignoring his smirk, "Secondly, if you confirm anything that isn't factual I will murder you in front of God and all those reporters."</p>
<p>Tony chuckled and stepped away from the group, "I'm no press rookie, save the scolding—"</p>
<p>"<em>Oh, no, no</em>. Pepper <em>specifically</em> warned me about your press experience and gave me the advice of scolding you <em>twice over</em>." I replied. "This is the first Avengers press reveal where all of you are here together officially answering questions, and I <em>will not</em> be the <em>idiot</em> PR officer who fucked it up."</p>
<p>Bruce clasped a comforting hand on my shoulder, "Everything will go fine. You've done a great job here, Aj."</p>
<p>"I know things will go fine with you. You and Nat." I turned to the boys. "My concern is with <em>them</em>."</p>
<p>Clint and Tony shrugged, but Steve held a hand to his chest in mock hurt, "<em>I'm</em> on your shit list?"</p>
<p>"Don't act so innocent. You're just as bad as them sometimes. The only difference is you're smart enough not to get caught." I argued. Steve smirked while Clint and Tony immediately began to argue otherwise.</p>
<p>Beth's voice chimed in my earpiece to let me know everything outside looked great. We were hosting the press conference in the lobby of Avengers Tower. A number of reporters from all sorts of news outlets were invited along with a select crowd of fans. Beth was behind that. She said we should open it up for a handful of fans to attend and I rarely argued against her. So now the lobby was filled with lights, cameras, and reporters alongside a crowd of onlooking fans in roped off areas. It didn't stop there either. There were a huge crowd of people right outside the Tower's front door as well watching through the glass. There were always a few fans hanging around the Tower, but this was by far the biggest crowd I had seen while living here.</p>
<p>"Alright, we're ready to go." I pointed to them again. "Also, if <em>any</em> of you <em>motherfuckers</em> drops the f-word in your interviews, we're throwing hands, got me? <em>Watch your damn language</em>."</p>
<p>Natasha pulled me into a side hug, "Yes ma'am."</p>
<p>With a steadying breath, I pulled open the office door letting in the roar of noise from the lobby. Each of them gave me a grin while walking out, and I steeled myself for the next hour. The Avengers went to the fans first, and I watched with a small smile while they interacted with them. Tony and Clint always handled this best. Tony did well with that kind of attention and Clint was able to be buddy-buddy with just about anyone. Bruce, Natasha, and Steve were always a little more reserved in crowds. Bruce hovered by Tony which took most of the edge off and kept him calm. Natasha stuck with Steve. The redhead wasn't used to fans or being looked at in this way. It was too out in the open for her, not having a cover to hide behind, but she agreed it was for the best. The Avengers needed trust above all else and that wouldn't work if she continued to hide in the shadows.</p>
<p>Weirdly, being in the lobby right now reminded me of the ring. A loud cheering crowd and bright lights in my eyes. All it was missing was the smell of sweat and blood hanging in the air. Beth hurried over to me and offered me a water bottle with a smile. The young woman was dressed in a business casual dress with her hair up in a bun.</p>
<p>"Thanks." I took it from her then motioned to the waiting reporters. "Give them another ten minutes and then pull Tony and Bruce to their reporters. I'll take care of Clint, Natasha, and Steve."</p>
<p>"Got it, boss!" Beth chirped and wandered away. The girl was an absolute Godsend. Not many times did I make good decisions in my life, but she had been one. I couldn't imagine any other person I interviewed being as good as she was. Beth had created all the Instagram accounts herself and they were ready to go live. She suggested dropping them one at a time over the span of a couple weeks. We'd start with Tony, and then every couple days we'd drop another. Her reasoning was that it would keep the excitement going longer, rather than just all at once, and I couldn't argue with that.</p>
<p>After giving the fans a little more face time, probably more than the reporters were happy with, Beth and I roped the Avengers to where they needed to go. It seemed like everything was going smoothly, but while I scoped the room looking for potential issues a camera slid into my path.</p>
<p>"Ms. Bradshaw! Can I ask you a few questions?" A black haired woman asked while sticking a microphone toward me. Her dark eyes were magnified by the large glasses she wore and the cameraman beside her didn't speak up.</p>
<p>"Uh", I replied dumbly, "Of course. If this is about Avengers scheduling the camera is hardly necessary though."</p>
<p>She chuckled, "No, not about scheduling. I was wondering if I could ask you questions about yourself?"</p>
<p>I blinked in surprise. Beth had told me I was supposedly '<em>famous</em>', but I still didn't actually believe her. Yes, I was with them all the time and I lived with them and was considered metaphorical family and…and… <em>wow</em>, no wonder they wondered who the hell I was. By all intents and purposes, I hit the friendship lottery.</p>
<p>"Uh, sure?"</p>
<p>"Great." She nodded and came to stand beside me, "My name is Ji-Soo Kim." Ji-Soo shot the cameraman a look and then nodded once. She turned back to me with a camera ready smile, "I'm here with Aj Bradshaw who is the <em>talk of the town</em>! Aj, viewers at home are wondering how you met the Avengers."</p>
<p>She moved the microphone toward me, and I readjusted the clipboard in my arms. I wasn't prepared for this at all. I had gone over every single thing that could possibly go wrong today and this had been <em>nowhere</em> on my planning board. I swallowed a nervous lump in my throat and nodded. Do I lie or do I tell the truth? Which one was worse? I chuckled awkwardly, "Clint Barton and Natasha Romanof came into my… <em>workplace</em>. I met them and then they introduced me to the others."</p>
<p>"And where did you work at?"</p>
<p>"Boxing?" I supplied then nodded, "Yeah, boxing. I worked in a boxing gym."</p>
<p>"Why were they there?"</p>
<p>I let out another chuckle, "I can't say that. It was a mission after all. If I spilled their secrets, they'd have to kill me." My eyes widened, and I held a hand out. "Not that they would. We're friends. I'm not inferring that Hawkeye and the Black Widow are murderers."</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, dear God.</em>
</p>
<p>I confidently knew the answer to every single question they could ask me about the Avengers, but <em>this</em> is what fucked me up. Questions about myself. Maybe if I was lucky JARVIS would sense my panic and drop one of the overhead lights on top of me to put me out of my misery.</p>
<p>"Is it true you live in the Tower with Captain America?"</p>
<p>"Yeah." I nodded with a shrug.</p>
<p>Ji-Soo grinned, "How long have the two of you been involved?"</p>
<p>The question before that one finally clicked. I waved the clipboard in denial, "Wait, no, not like—I mean, I live with Captain America in the sense that we're both in the Tower? I live with Iron Man too and the Hulk and Hawkeye and—and hey, Thor too sort of. I live in <em>his</em> apartment... but not at the same time! He surprised me once when he was naked but I—wait, no. Er..."</p>
<p>Ji-Soo's eyes widened, and I could physically feel my brain unplug from my mouth. God had given me the ability and skill to beat men senseless with my bare hands, yet I could not form <em>one fucking coherent sentence</em>. This was not a fair trade. I had complaints.</p>
<p>Where was God? I just wanted to talk.</p>
<p>"Aj?" Beth stepped into my view and motioned toward me, "I need you for a moment."</p>
<p>"Excuse me." I said quickly and pulled myself away from Ji-Soo and her cameraman. Beth led me away from their ear shot and I glanced around, "What's up?"</p>
<p>Beth shook her head, "Oh, nothing is wrong. You just looked like you needed saving."</p>
<p>I set both my hands on her shoulders while she chuckled, "You're getting a raise. In fact, I'm telling Stark to buy you a car."</p>
<p>"That's—That's <em>really</em> not necessary." Beth argued. She tucked the scheduling papers in her hands to her chest. "Have you always been that bad at interviews?"</p>
<p>"That was my first interview ever." I replied. "It was also my <em>last</em> interview since I apparently can't string together one sentence without making an ass of myself."</p>
<p>Beth laughed, "Being in front of the camera isn't for everyone. Plus, it takes getting used to from what I understand." She set a reassuring hand on my arm, "If it makes you feel any better, I think I'd be lousy at it too."</p>
<p>"Thanks." I lightly patted her hand on my arm. The two of us split up to continue circling the area looking for any issues. I was avoiding eye contact with any free reporter like a kid playing Pokémon who didn't want to battle those no name NPCs.</p>
<p>Four rotations of reporters went by when I drifted over to where a reporter was interviewing Steve. When I got within ear shot, they began to laugh lightly at something. The dark-haired reporter smiled broadly and brought the microphone to her lips, "How has it been adjusting to today's technology? Anything giving you any trouble?"</p>
<p>"I'll tell you, ma'am, those <em>gosh darned</em> hand sized telephones are something else. Luckily, Tony and the others have been real great about helping me along." Steve replied with a charming smile. <em>Oh, this gosh darned little fucker</em>. His eyes drifted over the reporter's gaze to meet mine and I saw a flash of amusement in his eyes. Steve's smile turned impish in a 'blink and you miss it' moment. I was gonna fist fight a 96-year-old today.</p>
<p>The rest of the hour seemed to go by swimmingly from that point on which should've been my first guess that something wasn't right. With 10 minutes left to spare, Beth rushed over to me and grabbed my arm, "We have a problem."</p>
<p>"What's wrong?" I asked and followed beside her.</p>
<p>She didn't even have to answer me because my eyes landed on what the problem was. Rather, <em>who</em> the problem was. Natasha was being interviewed by a sleazy guy named Preston Smith. He just looked smarmy with his news anchor blond hair and his smug, deceitful brown eyes. Everything about him, including the flashy blue suit he wore, was gross and screamed '<em>I'm a complete and total tool'</em>.</p>
<p>It was one, of many, reasons why I hadn't invited him for this event.</p>
<p>"He's been asking her non-stop about what happened in DC with the SHIELD leaks, HYDRA infiltration, and the Winter Soldier." Beth murmured to me. Natasha's eyes were narrowed and though she kept a small smile on her features I could see the tension and anger radiating off her. The Black Widow was more than adept at handling a situation like this, but he must have said something that really set her off. Her face screamed '<em>homicide'</em> and I knew she was only resisting both killing him and verbally abusing him because of how important this public image thing was. Natasha Romanof berating a reporter on the 9'o'clock news, or disemboweling him, would not look good to the viewers at home. Unfortunately.</p>
<p>I pushed away from Beth to step between Natasha and Preston, "Interview's over."</p>
<p>Natasha didn't hesitate. I felt her fingers brush against my back briefly before she marched away with Beth. Preston grinned at me and I shook my head, "You're not supposed to be here, Mr. Smith."</p>
<p>"I just assumed my invitation got lost in the mail." He replied. "You're <em>the</em> Aj Bradshaw, aren't you?" I didn't answer and he took a step toward me. "I have a few questions for you too. The mysterious girl who may or may not be sleeping her way through the Avengers. Who are you?"</p>
<p>I smirked, "I'm just a little southern girl with a temper problem and absolutely no qualms with <em>breaking your nose</em>." Preston smirked, obviously thinking he was getting out of here with a scoop on Natasha and me, but if working side by side with SHIELD had taught me one thing, it was this: <em>knowledge is power</em>.</p>
<p>"Enough about me though." I let my lips curl into a threatening grin. The look was incomplete without the bloodstained teeth I usually had when I wore it, but based on the way Preston stiffened, it did the job all the same. "You're Preston Smith, a piece of shit asshole who ruins lives and stirs up drama using your shit personality since you don't actually have any actual reporting skills in your arsenal. Every article you've written, every news report you've given, is riddled with rumors and lies and you use the fear of the public to keep you afloat."</p>
<p>Preston scoffed, "How <em>dare</em> you—"</p>
<p>"I also know that you're scum of the earth and a literal <em>rat</em> who is doing some less than legal things on your personal time involving the financials of the news company that supports you and a <em>number</em> of dirty politicians in the tri-state area." I kept my voice light and airy as I took a hostile step toward him. Preston tried to back pedal away, but I kept myself within reach. "Now, since you seem like the kind of guy who makes a habit of missing the fucking point, let me make this <em>explicitly</em> clear. If I see any of my client's names in your articles, in <em>any</em> report you give, and you try to drag them through the mud for <em>clout</em>… I will expose <em>every</em> single piece of evidence SHIELD has collected on your pathetic ass to the world. You will be fired, you will lose any popularity you think you have among the 1% that consumes your media, and you will probably even face some jail time." I reached toward him, he flinched, but I just let my hand rest on his shoulder softly. "Preston, I'll give you a little tip, you are not the kind of guy who would do well in jail."</p>
<p>He scoffed, trying to look less nervous, "Are you blackmailing me?"</p>
<p>"Yes, but apparently I'm not doing it well enough if you have to ask."</p>
<p>Preston held my gaze, probably trying to see if I was bluffing, but this was one of those rare moments in my life where I wasn't. With the help of Daisy's hacker skills, I now had an entire file on my Stark Pad with dirt on every unsavory reporter or politician in the area. Was this entirely legal? Maybe not. The thing was though, I had learned early on that people were terrible. Sure, there were exceptions to this rule, I lived and was now friends with a number of them, but humans tended to be selfish. They would choose themselves, their money, their pride, and their comfort over the truth 9 times out of 10. I figured out that if you assumed everyone was going to fuck you over, you were able to stop it from happening before they even tried.</p>
<p>"Clever." Preston finally chuckled. He glanced around the room before looking back to me with barely concealed anger in his eyes. "I'll let you win this round as a courtesy. A '<em>welcome to the party'</em> gift, if you will. But you and I both know the Avengers are going to slip up, they're going to make a mistake, and I'll be there to expose them to the world. The people deserve the truth after all."</p>
<p>I scoffed, "Yeah, they do, but they deserve the <em>actual</em> truth not your twisted, bribed version of it. Now are you leaving nicely or am I calling security?"</p>
<p>Preston held his hands up in surrender and walked away. I didn't let my eyes leave his figure until he was completely out of the building. A sigh of relief tumbled out of me, but I whipped around anyways to try and find Natasha. Beth came back up to me right as my eyes landed on the bright red hair. Tony had pulled her into his interview, he was talking more to her than the reporter, but she was smiling. The tension was gone from her shoulders and that was more reliving than anything else.</p>
<p>"That was <em>amazing</em>." Beth breathed with wide eyes. "You just—just shut him down. Got him to leave—" She snapped her fingers, "— like that!"</p>
<p>Her praise brought a smile to my lips, but I was still a little on edge. I had known about trashy Preston Smith, but seeing him was another thing entirely. There was this pit in my stomach, a gut feeling, that told me, that just like he said, this wasn't the last we'd see of him.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When you see the Avengers on TV, they're awe inspiring. The things they can do, the lives that they save, it makes you want to be a better person just watching them. Meeting them in person for the first time was like meeting your favorite celebrity times 100. It would be cool to meet the guy who played your favorite character on a TV show you like, but meeting Steve Rogers was a little like what meeting Jesus would feel like. At least, that's how Peter mentally categorized it. He had told Aunt May this and she had reminded them that they were Jewish, but the point still remained.</p>
<p>Getting to know them was a different story.</p>
<p>Peter was still in disbelief that he knew the Avengers personally. That hadn't worn off even though Mr. Stark kept telling him that it should. Even Harley, when they texted, would remind Peter that he didn't have to be so starstruck anymore. Peter was getting better at it, but there were still moments, like when they came back from a mission, where he was struck dumb, blind, and ecstatic.</p>
<p>This was <em>not</em> one of those moments.</p>
<p>This was one of those humanizing moments that reminded him that despite being literal superheroes they were also kind of giant dorks.</p>
<p>"Hey, I have another joke. <em>Listen, listen</em>!" Clint Barton called out from where he was sitting backwards in the single seat armchair. His legs were thrown haphazardly over the back and his head was held upside down, "Which country do birds like living in?"</p>
<p>Despite the fact that he called for attention, nobody in the communal space looked up from what they were doing. Aj was sitting on the couch working on her Stark Pad, Steve sat beside her casually on his phone, and Dr. Banner was reading a book on the other side of him. Peter was sitting on the two-seat couch beside Natasha Romanof who was flipping through what looked like a fashion magazine. Mr. Stark walked in from the kitchen and gave Clint an odd look though. So now, the archer had the attention of him and Iron Man at the very least.</p>
<p>"Portu-<em>geese</em>." Clint snickered.</p>
<p>Steve looked up from his phone, "That's a language, not a country."</p>
<p>"Potru-<em>gull</em>." Mr. Stark corrected.</p>
<p>Dr. Banner nodded without looking up from his book, "Nice save."</p>
<p>"Oh, oh!" Aj looked up from her Stark Pad with a grin, "<em>Parrot</em>-guay."</p>
<p>Clint cheered in excitement while the others nodded and mumbled praise while they tried to think of more. Steve snapped his fingers, "<em>Crow</em>-atia?"</p>
<p>"Not bad, grandpa." Mr. Stark praised.</p>
<p>Natasha sighed and set her magazine down in her lap before looking around the room, "Turkey. Dumbasses. <em>Turkey</em>."</p>
<p>There was a pause where the knowledge sunk in and then everyone collectively went back to their tasks sheepishly while Clint pouted in his seat. Peter chuckled under his breath and shifted slightly to look at Mr. Stark. As fun as it was to hang out with everyone like this, he had technically come to work on his suit. There were only a few more tests to run before he could use it out in the city officially. Spiderman was <em>finally </em>getting an upgrade.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat, "Mr. Stark—"</p>
<p>"Tony." The man corrected.</p>
<p>"Is it time to go to the lab to work on the—the, you know, <em>science experiment</em>?"</p>
<p>Natasha, without looking up from the magazine she had gone back to, cut in, "You still haven't finished the kid's suit, Tony?"</p>
<p>Mr. Stark scoffed, "We're nearly done, thank you."</p>
<p>Peter's eyes went wide in shock as his gaze whipped back and forth between Mr. Stark and Natasha. He struggled to find his words, "You—wait, <em>what</em>? You—I thought you said you wouldn't tell anyone, Mr. Stark!"</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>." He replied with a sheepish shrug. "And I didn't! Well, I told Bruce because he was gonna help me with some design work, and I told Pep and Rhodes because…because they're <em>Pep and Rhodes</em>."</p>
<p>Aj raised a hand with an apologetic smile, "I was the one who told Nat actually, but only because she's a spider too, and I want her to show you some fighting tricks!"</p>
<p>Natasha glanced up from her magazine, "I told Steve you were Spiderman."</p>
<p>Peter's gaze snapped to Steve who looked up from his phone with his own sheepish look. All the Avengers knew his secret? The secret he had decided nobody could know? He hadn't even told Ned or Mj or Aunt May, though he never ever planned on telling his aunt. She'd lose her mind if she ever found out. It would be the Aj lecture on retiring just way, way worse.</p>
<p>Clint fell out of his chair with a grunt, then sat up in surprise, "Hang on, the kid is <em>Spiderman</em>?!"</p>
<p>Mr. Stark looked to Peter but motioned to archer, "If it makes you feel any better <em>nobody</em> told Clint." Peter frowned and he could see the genius try and bite back a chuckle. He motioned toward the lab and Peter got up to follow him. "Sorry about that, kid, but I promise if anyone knows the importance of a secret identity it's us."</p>
<p>"You guys <em>aren't</em> secret." Peter argued as they entered the lab. He pulled out his phone to open an app and show it to him, "I follow Captain America and the Black Widow on Instagram!"</p>
<p>Mr. Stark twisted his lips with a narrowed gaze, "Okay, you got me there, admittedly, but we aren't about to go and spill your secret to the world, Pete. Have you considered who you want to share the secret with?"</p>
<p>"<em>Nobody</em>." Peter said firmly.</p>
<p>"Nobody?" Mr. Stark questioned. He stopped in his motions to give him a concerned look, "That isn't a good answer, kid. You have us now, which is great. Use us a resource, but you need your <em>own</em> support system. One of your friends maybe, one you really trust, and…"</p>
<p>"And?"</p>
<p>"Your aunt, maybe?"</p>
<p>Peter shook his head and waved his arms desperately, "No way, no way! Aunt May would <em>lose her mind </em>if she knew I was Spiderman. You <em>can't</em> tell her, Mr. Stark. You or Aj, please. <em>Don't</em> tell Aunt May."</p>
<p>"We won't." Mr. Stark agreed. "Trust me when I say that's not a conversation either of us wants to have with her. She needs to hear it from <em>you</em>."</p>
<p>Peter groaned, "Why does she have to know at all?"</p>
<p>"Because she loves you, Pete." Mr. Stark shrugged and turned to go back to what he was originally doing. His words kept Peter stuck in place though. As much as he didn't want to tell Aunt May, maybe she did deserve to know. The only doubt Peter ever had about being Spiderman was her. She was the only reason he would ever consider quitting. Peter didn't want one of his mistakes to force her to be alone. When the news of Uncle Ben's death had come, Peter had been there to keep her standing and vice versa. Who would be there for her if anything ever happened to him? How much worse would it be if he, God forbid, died and Aunt May didn't even know the truth? To be <em>blindsided</em> like that…</p>
<p>Peter knew he needed to tell her, but he didn't think he was quite brave enough to do that just yet.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"I saw you on TV again."</p>
<p>"Oh, <em>God no</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled at my exasperation. Two weeks had passed from the first time I ever spoke to a reporter about myself, and I had gotten better since then. Unfortunately, my baseline was so shit poor that getting better didn't mean I was actually any good.</p>
<p>"You looked good, doll." Bucky reassured me. "You were with Dr. Banner after some late night talk show. It was just a glimpse. You had on a navy dress."</p>
<p>That was from last night. He had an appearance on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and I had gone with him. Actually, all the Avengers did. Tony was first, then yesterday it had been Bruce, and now, tonight, Steve had an appearance. Luckily, it wasn't so bad. Jimmy Fallon was actually a really cool guy and the best part was that I didn't have to talk on live television.</p>
<p>"I have to go again tonight." I replied. "It's Steve's turn."</p>
<p>"It's still weird seeing that punk on TV." Bucky chuckled then joked, "Hearing him say '<em>gosh darn'</em> and '<em>dang nabbit'</em> make me wish I had let those bullies beat him up in those alleys."</p>
<p>I grinned, "Oh! The '<em>dang nabbit'</em> one is from me! My southern rubbed off on him."</p>
<p>Bucky replied, "So I have <em>you</em> to blame?"</p>
<p>"If it makes you feel better, we all make fun of him for it." I leaned against the wall of the café I was at and let my eyes glance back over the room where Beth was sitting at our table working. I had taken her out for a working lunch and slipped away for my daily dose of Bucky. "He started it because I told him not to curse to the reporters. He was being a smart ass, but now anytime he actually curses we yell at him like he's a toddler."</p>
<p>Bucky laughed and I basked in its warmth. It was time for me to start convincing Bucky to come home. It only made sense. We had talked every day for nearly two months now, and the last time I had even brought it up was literally the first we talked. As much as I knew I needed to, a part of me was afraid he'd run. What if I asked him to come home and he just disappeared on me instead? I told myself I was worried about that because I didn't want to lose the only rope we had on Steve's best friend, but the truth was… <em>I</em> didn't want to lose him either. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't get to talk to him every day. Was that pathetic of me?</p>
<p>Bucky and I spoke for another few minutes when I noticed Beth wasn't alone at our table. I narrowed my eyes to try and focus on the guy standing beside her with a wide grin. He looked friendly enough at the moment, but the uneasy look on Beth's face told me the rest of the story.</p>
<p>"Hey, Bucky, I gotta go." I said quickly. "I have to go beat the shit out a of guy."</p>
<p>Bucky must have been able to tell I wasn't in any danger based off my voice because all he did was reply, "Does the guy deserve it?"</p>
<p>"Oh yeah."</p>
<p>"Alright, put in a few good hits for me, doll." Bucky chuckled.</p>
<p>I said one more goodbye, stuffed the phone into my pocket, and then made my way back to the table. The guy, a redhead with freckles galore, was basically leering at my poor employee who was averting her own gaze away from him sheepishly. Beth noticed me and looked relieved as I dropped into my seat.</p>
<p>Red head looked at me and I said, "Are you here to take our orders?"</p>
<p>"Do I look like I work here?" He scoffed and motioned to his suit. Being around Tony so much, I knew it was an expensive suit. Though I didn't like the color. The dark green was unnoticeable from a distance but up close it clashed with his skin tone.</p>
<p>"I guess not, but I assumed you weren't stupid enough to try and harass a poor girl while she tries to enjoy her lunch." I replied. "My bad for giving you the benefit of the doubt. Now leave."</p>
<p>I glanced back at Beth who was fidgeting in her seat and still avoiding looking at the guy. He scoffed one more time and then instead of leaving he set his hands down on the table and leaned forward. My eyes drifted back over to meet his gaze nonchalantly.</p>
<p>"You bitches should learn that not everything is harassment." The Riddler looking motherfucker said confidently. "I was telling her I thought she'd have a nice smile."</p>
<p>I leaned forward onto the table, cradling my chin in my hand, and gave him a wide grin. The guy faltered and I saw his shoulders stiffen. Still, I didn't let my warning smile slip from my features, "How's my smile look?" He mumbled another curse before stalking away with a shake of his head. I rolled my eyes and sat back in my seat. I focused my attention back on the woman across from me, "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?"</p>
<p>"No. He was just annoying." Beth replied. She blinked a few times in shock before shaking her head, "How do you do that?"</p>
<p>I shrugged and picked up my menu to look it over, "Do what?"</p>
<p>"Your smile is so pretty, but you also make it look…<em>dangerous</em>?" Beth said in awe. "I mean, I've seen you do it before and every time is more amazing than the last! You didn't even have to threaten him with words. He just left."</p>
<p>"I, uh, picked up a few tricks over the years I guess." I didn't want to explain to the soft girl that I learned it by spending years facing across from people who wanted to spill my blood as much as I wanted to spill theirs. Half the fight was intimidation, and a 5'3 woman needed a few more tricks than the rest.</p>
<p>Beth bounced once in her seat, "Can you teach me?"</p>
<p>"Huh?"</p>
<p>"Teach me to smile like that!"</p>
<p>I chuckled in amusement then shrugged, "It's all in the eyes. You smile, as confidently as you can, but you make sure when they look you in the eyes that they know…they know you aren't someone to be messed with."</p>
<p>"Okay." Beth nodded once. She let out a steadying breath with a focused look on her features that I couldn't help but chuckle at. She then tried the trick, but the girl was about as threatening as a bunny. I laughed and her cheeks tinted pink, "So… not threatening?"</p>
<p>"Not quite." I shook my head. "Keep practicing."</p>
<p>Beth pouted to herself, twisting her lips, while letting her eyes trace the menu in front of her. She reminded me of Aubrey. They looked nothing alike. Beth was small where Aubrey was tall. Her hair was dark where my older sister's was dirty blonde. She was pretty in a cute, button way while Aubrey looked like something the gods carved from marble. In fact, if you stood Beth on my left and Aubrey on my right, strangers would assume Beth was my sister before Aubrey ever was. The thing that was similar was their innocence. Beth looked pure and soft, just like Aubrey always had. It brought the <em>'protective sister'</em> instincts out of me.</p>
<p>I had forgotten what playing the big sister felt like.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve wasn't fond of interviews. It felt too much like putting on a show and it reminded him of the birth of Captain America. A figure head used to sell more war bonds all over America. A fraud. He had to admit though, the late night talk show scene wasn't too bad. The Avengers had met Jimmy Fallon as a group at the beginning of the week and the man was genuine. That made being on his show all the easier. Plus, Jimmy Fallon didn't hit him with any surprises. Everything that would be talked about on the show had been briefly discussed with him just minutes before they began filming.</p>
<p>"I'm just—I'm just in <em>shock</em> still, Jimmy." An actor named Seth Green gushed from the couch on Steve's right. He hadn't seen any of the guy's movies, but when they spoke backstage he seemed friendly enough. "This is <em>Captain America</em>. Like, the actual—the <em>actual</em> guy. He did the <em>thing</em>!"</p>
<p>"He <em>did</em> do the thing." Jimmy replied. "The <em>thing</em>."</p>
<p>Seth pointed to him, "I just want you to know I wrote a paper about you in 11th grade history class and my teacher, Ms. Rosenbloom, failed me. All because I said you were the kind of guy someone could enjoy a cold one with."</p>
<p>The audience laughed and Steve chuckled, "You put that in your paper?"</p>
<p>"You always had a very <em>'I can kick back and drink with this guy'</em> kind of face, you know?"</p>
<p>"Thank you." Steve nodded. "That is the look I go for when I'm getting ready in the morning."</p>
<p>The audience laughed again, and Steve nervously shifted in his seat. Even when these things were going nothing but well, he always felt…off. It was the same thing when he put on shows back in the 40's. Too many eyes were on him. Too many eyes just watching and waiting to be entertained.</p>
<p>"—that's the great thing about you though, Steve!" Jimmy praised from behind his desk. "You're <em>such</em> an approachable guy despite being a real-life superhero. As Seth so aptly put, you do the things!"</p>
<p>"Well, I have a great team to help me do those things." Steve replied.</p>
<p>The show continued for a few minutes, and Jimmy gave him his allotted time to talk up the Avengers for most of them. That was the goal of all this after all. It'd be a lot harder for the government to throw them behind bars or tag them like animals if the public adored them.</p>
<p>Jimmy began to steer the interview back to questions focused on him, "What's one of the most jarring things about waking up in 2012? I mean, I know it's probably everything, but if you could pick one."</p>
<p>"Technology." Steve replied which brought a laugh out of the audience. Realistically, the most jarring thing had been the sudden realization that everyone he loved was dead. Bucky, Dum Dum, Gabe, Falsworth, Jacques, Jim. Howard. Colonel Phillips. Rebecca. Friends from the school yard. The neighbor who lived down the road from Bucky that always gave them baked goods after school. Finding Peggy, aged but alive, had been the miracle that kept him sane. That wasn't a great, fun TV answer though. He continued, "Tony gave me a Stark Phone and the things it can do. <em>Wow</em>. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."</p>
<p>Jimmy motioned to him, "You're doing pretty good though! We've all seen your Instagram! I would bet 75% of the people on Instagram follow you."</p>
<p>"And if you want that last 25% all you have to do is post one of those after gym mirror selfie pics." Seth added, and the audience went wild. Steve felt his face grow warm and tried not to show how awkward he felt in the moment. Clint and Tony made jokes just like that, but back at the Tower when they did it he could lovingly tell them to '<em>fuck off'</em>.</p>
<p>Steve forced a chuckle, "Geez, I don't think my PR team would be too fond of that."</p>
<p>"Fair enough but let your PR team know that we will start a fundraiser for charity to get you to post that selfie if we have to. It's for the good of America." Jimmy joked and the audience cheered again. "Okay, anything else in this century that you find yourself liking?"</p>
<p>He adjusted the dark brown tie he wore and let his eyes glance around the room quickly. His gaze landed on Aj who stood by the camera with her arms crossed. She wore a black blouse, olive dress pants that tied in a bow at the front, and a look of worry on her features. When he made eye contact with her though she gave him a reassuring smile and quick wink. Steve felt himself settle.</p>
<p>"Country music." Steve chuckled and he watched Aj's eyes widen slightly.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, <em>what</em>?" Seth cried.</p>
<p>Steve focused back on the men beside him, "I guess it just kind of grew on me."</p>
<p>Seth shook his head, "What, like a mold?"</p>
<p>"Do you have a favorite artist or song?" Jimmy questioned.</p>
<p>"I'd say my favorite is Tennessee Whiskey. You know it, Jimmy?"</p>
<p>Jimmy spun and pointed at his band. A second later the chorus of the familiar song filled the studio. When the chorus wrapped up, the man turned back to him with a grin, "I gotta say, I did not have you pegged for a country man, Steve!"</p>
<p>"I'm really not, but…a, uh, friend of mine tells me country has the kind of romance songs that can make a dame weak in the knees."</p>
<p>"Wait a minute, is Tennessee Whiskey your song of choice for picking up chicks?" Seth questioned.</p>
<p>Jimmy clapped his hand on the desk, "<em>America take notes</em>!"</p>
<p>"Oh, no. I'm not in the business of picking up chicks. Every other Avenger will tell you that." Steve shook his head with a laugh. "Besides, not that song. That one already belongs to someone. She said I'm not allowed to use it with anyone else."</p>
<p>Steve realized he left the door open for them to question him on his love life. Not that he even had one, but he knew how his statement could be taken. Worry filled his gut, but true to his word, Jimmy steered the conversation into something else entirely without even missing a beat. The guy was incredible at his job and Steve appreciated that he stuck to their agreement not to ask about that even though Steve accidentally set him up for it.</p>
<p>"Now, Steven", Jimmy cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, "I would love to say that I beat Captain America in <em>something</em>, so I'd like to challenge you to a game of beer pong."</p>
<p>Seth leaned forward, "Notice he picks an event invented when you were frozen."</p>
<p>"Don't belittle my strategy." Jimmy said and motioned to him, "He has muscles, and I have nothing. I'm trying to even the playing field. Steve, have you played beer pong before?"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "I can't say that I have, Jimmy."</p>
<p>It was a lie. As much as they wanted to humanize the Avengers to the world, nobody wanted to be the one to tell the world that the Avengers played beer pong on game night sometimes. Granted, the rules were <em>very</em> different for them. Tony, who used to be the reigning champion in college with Rhodey, wasn't allowed to shoot with his dominant hand and if Rhodey was there for a game they weren't allowed to be partnered together. Clint had to wear a blind fold and had to be paired with Bruce who was the least competitive of the group. That was unless Sam was there of course. In which case, Clint was partnered with him because the birds could never get along long enough to win at anything.</p>
<p>The point was, Steve knew exactly how this game worked. Still, he listened to Jimmy explain the rules while they walked off the stage they had been sitting on to the stage next door where a ping pong table was set up with cups and baskets of ping pong balls.</p>
<p>"First to nail two cups wins!" Jimmy took his place.</p>
<p>Steve shrugged and motioned to him, "Non-genetically engineered humans first?"</p>
<p>The game started and they went back and forth. Usually when he played, they made him wear his shield on his left arm and his own personal rule was that he had to bounce it off his shield first then into a cup. Playing without that handicap made it all too easy. Still, Steve threw his balls to miss to keep the game going though. Jimmy finally made one, and Steve picked up the cup to down the beer inside.</p>
<p>"You know", Steve set the cup aside, "Super soldier means I don't get drunk."</p>
<p>Jimmy pointed at him, "Remind me to never play this game with you for real."</p>
<p>Steve smirked and threw ping pong ball into the center cup forcing Jimmy to drink. They continued to go back and forth and when the crowd cheered, Jimmy shot jokes at them mostly at his own expense. After a few more rounds, Jimmy made his second cup and threw his hands up in victory. Steve tossed the ball he had in his hand and it immediately landed into the first cup. The audience went wild and Jimmy grabbed his drink like a good sport. Seth ran over and grabbed one of the free cups and they all downed them quickly.</p>
<p>Seth slapped his back then held his cup up, "Look at me now, Ms. Rosenbloom!"</p>
<p>The people in the audience went crazy and Jimmy called out his good-byes over the loud applause. Steve gave them a quick salute and when the camera light finally went off, he felt his entire body relax in relief. Jimmy and Seth thanked him and said personal good-byes. The moment they were gone though, Steve began to look around for Aj.</p>
<p>She was talking to what looked like a reporter off to the side, but it ended quickly. Aj glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow. Steve hurried over with a grin.</p>
<p>"I thought we agreed we were gonna let Jimmy Fallon win beer pong."</p>
<p>"As it turns out, I don't like losing." Steve stuck his hands in his pockets.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I already knew that." Aj replied and he could sense an odd tone in her voice.</p>
<p>Steve furrowed his brow in worry. Had the reporter bothered her? Another thought occurred to him. Had it been <em>him</em>? Steve shook his head with a frown, "Hey, if this is about the song—"</p>
<p>"No." Aj reached out and set her hands on his arm. "It's not that, I promise. You did great tonight, Steve. Really."</p>
<p>He pulled her aside so no curious eyes would stare at them, "What's wrong then? <em>Something</em> is bothering you."</p>
<p>Aj paused, letting out a slow sigh, then gave him a tight smile, "It's not what you think. I just… I don't like seeing you in these interviews. I don't like seeing you in—in <em>Captain America mode</em>."</p>
<p>"Captain America mode?"</p>
<p>"Tony is Iron Man, and Iron Man is Tony. Always. They're one." Aj explained. She looped her arm through his and began to lead him back to the dressing rooms where their belongings were stored. "That's not how it is for you. Captain America is Steve Rogers, but…Steve Rogers <em>isn't</em> Captain America. Do I sound crazy?"</p>
<p>She wasn't. From the moment he put on the red, white, and blue outfit, Steve had been mentally separating himself from the role he played. When he formed the Howling Commandos it had been so much easier. They didn't have to do media appearances. Their only job was to stop HYDRA. Win the war. Steve was a soldier then and that was it. He loved being an Avenger now, he loved his team, but he did not love that he had to pick that role back up. He thought he had left it in the 40's.</p>
<p>Steve pulled Aj to a stop, "You think I'm not Captain America?"</p>
<p>"Well…yeah." Aj shrugged. "Captain America is this precious, all American boy who says things like '<em>geez'</em> and '<em>golly'</em> and he—I don't know, saves cats from trees and kisses babies on the forehead when he passes them in the streets. Women see him and picture this perfect prince charming in red, white, and blue armor."</p>
<p>Steve nodded, "Okay…"</p>
<p>"<em>Steve Rogers</em>—", Aj put emphasis on his name as a smile grew on her face, "—is a dorky nerd—"</p>
<p>"<em>Dorky nerd</em>?"</p>
<p>"—that has a mouth that would make a sailor blush. Bad enough to say '<em>fucking Goddamnit</em>' in front of a <em>child</em>—"</p>
<p>"Okay, by child you just mean Peter and he's technically like 15, I think."</p>
<p>Aj's features softened, "He sketches in his free time and he likes to cuddle when Netflix is on and he hates the cold and he isn't some imaginary Prince Charming. He's <em>real</em>." She nudged him with her shoulder. "All I'm saying is… I don't think me and Captain America would get along too well. But, I <em>really</em> like Steve Rogers."</p>
<p>"Thanks." Steve swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. There was something about being seen, really being seen, that made him pause. It was easy to get lost in the lights and lose track of who he really was amongst this media blitz, but knowing Aj saw the real him made the fear shrink.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Beth was a genius, and that meant I was also a genius because I was the one who chose to hire her. The Instagram plan was taking off. Every Avenger's account was live, including mine, and they were all doing amazing. It was literally the best case scenario. Even my account, which had only a few posts, one of which was a picture of Steve making his green smoothie alongside a smart assed caption about it, had more followers than my tiny, little brain could even comprehend. We were all verified, which was another thing I had learned, and the blue check mark by our names meant something important. Apparently.</p>
<p>"—<em>taken the world by storm with pictures of their day to day lives</em>." A news reporter said in a cheery voice on TV. Beth and I were parked on the couch with various news channels brought up on the TV since most of them were talking about the Avenger's PR campaign. Not everyone was for it, a few people were saying it was '<em>pandering'</em> and a <em>'vie for good attention</em>', but the public liked it and so did most news people.</p>
<p>I was taking our win and holding it proudly.</p>
<p>Beth was scribbling in her notebook while she spoke, "This is great news. We need to have all of them post something in the next two weeks. Whatever they want. We should also tell them to interact with the comments a little. Not any of the rude or heavy ones, just the fun, light-hearted stuff."</p>
<p>"Good idea. Again. You're killing this, Beth." I praised her.</p>
<p>She gave me a warm, proud smile, "It's a team effort. You've helped a lot."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but you're the mastermind. Take the praise."</p>
<p>We sat listening for another few seconds when Tony walked down from his lab and over to us. Beth looked up and her eyes went wide. She had met all of the Avengers, the job required it, but the poor girl was still in awe. I was sure that would wear off soon.</p>
<p>"Why are you watching TV? Aren't I paying you guys to work?" Tony asked.</p>
<p>Beth's face went pink in embarrassment and I could see the panic in her eyes, "O—Oh, sir! We—We are, this is just, uh—"</p>
<p>"We <em>are</em> working. Don't get your panties in a twist just because you don't recognize what it looks like, tin can." I replied jokingly. Tony smirked, happy to have at least gotten a rise out of Beth, and I pointed to the kitchen, "Clint's messing with your coffee settings by the way."</p>
<p>"That <em>motherfucker</em>—" Tony snapped and raced off.</p>
<p>Beth let out a sigh of relief, and I set my hand on her shoulder, "Don't stress. Tony just likes messing with people. He's actually a complete and total softie. Don't let him intimidate you, it just goes straight to his ego."</p>
<p>"I don't think I'll be able to ever tell Mr. Stark to '<em>not get his panties in a twist'</em>." Beth chuckled. She glanced down at her notebook then back up to me, "I think you should post again too sometime later today. We'll use your account more often than the others."</p>
<p>I nodded, "Sure. I've done the '<em>story'</em> thing too. This Instagram thing is actually kind of fun. I see the appeal."</p>
<p>Beth grinned and tucked a hair behind her ear, "I'm glad you like it. I think a picture of you and Mr. Stark or Dr. Banner would be best. It'll calm down every fan who's trying to ship you guys with each other since the world knows Mr. Stark is involved with Pepper Potts, and Dr. Banner with Dr. Betty Ross."</p>
<p>"<em>Ship</em>?" I questioned with a shake of my head, "What does that mean?"</p>
<p>"It means people want to see you dating someone else." Clint answered for her as he wandered into the living room from the kitchen. He dropped down onto the love seat and glared at me, "Also, I didn't know I raised a <em>snitch</em>."</p>
<p>I shook my head at him, "You didn't raise me, first off, and more importantly", I turned back to Beth in confusion, "Is bird brain right?"</p>
<p>"Oh my God and now you're calling me bird brain like Stark does?" Clint cried. Natasha came up in the elevator and he sat up quickly, "Tash! Aj is betraying us!"</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head and sat down in the single seat armchair with her phone, "Sounded like she's just betraying you which I'm fine with."</p>
<p>Beth nervously glanced around before clearing her throat, "He is right. It's like how I told you before that some people thought you and Steve were involved? Fans have opinions on who should be with who. It's mostly harmless. <em>Mostly</em>." She motioned to Clint then back to me, "For example, some people, since they don't know Clint Barton and Natasha Romanof are involved, have shipped the two of you together."</p>
<p>I made a gagging noise and Clint scoffed, "<em>Excuse you</em>! Don't you <em>fake vomit</em> about me. I am a fucking catch. Right, Tasha?"</p>
<p>"<em>Meh</em>." Natasha replied without looking up from her phone.</p>
<p>"<em>This house is a prison</em>." Clint grumbled and sank into his seat.</p>
<p>Beth chuckled, "Most people actually think you and Natasha should date… even though you already are." She turned back to me. "Most of the fans do like you with Steve. It's either they love it or hate it. There's really no in between."</p>
<p>"You didn't fake vomit at that."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes at the archer, "Is it your time of the month? Why are you in such a mood?"</p>
<p>"Well, you guys keep hurting my feelings, and <em>Stark</em>—" He sat up to point at Tony as he came out of the kitchen again back toward us, "—has more Instagram followers than me which really isn't fair."</p>
<p>Tony scoffed, "I've had Instagram since 2010."</p>
<p>"Seriously?" Clint cried.</p>
<p>"I'm Tony <em>fucking</em> Stark. Of course, seriously."</p>
<p>Clint and Tony continued to argue while Beth and I went back to work. The good news was that the bulk of our work was done. The hard part at least. Now we just had to run the accounts and keep favorable in the public eye. That shouldn't be too hard for a group of world saving superheroes, right?</p>
<p>I spent the next fifteen minutes working on my Stark Pad while Beth did her own work beside me. Tony and Clint were somehow still arguing, but at least it was about something different now. I opened my mouth to tell them to bicker somewhere else when the sound of the '<em>Breaking News'</em> alert flashed from the TV. I glanced up from my Stark Pad just in time to see a familiar, sickening smile staring back at me.</p>
<p>Boss' picture was on the screen.</p>
<p>There was movement around me. People were talking, some even to me potentially, but I felt alone. I couldn't even hear the news anchor's voice. The only data my brain was collecting was this: Boss' picture was on the TV, there had been a targeted attack, and now Boss was out. Boss was out. <em>Boss was out</em>. He wasn't behind metal bars or thick concrete walls. He was out and about in the same city as me.</p>
<p><em>'I told you so, pet.'</em> His cruel, mocking words echoed in my brain. The ghost of his voice ever alive in the back of my mind. The Stark Pad slipped from my grip, hitting the hard floor, and I felt someone set their hands on my shoulder. Still my mind was blank, and my world was quiet as I grasped what this meant.</p>
<p>A cold, sharp chill ran down my spine and a sinking feeling filled my gut.</p>
<p>
  <em>Boss had gotten out of jail.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Boss was going to kill me.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. There's Nothing in My Closet, but Something Evil in My Head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: WARNING WARNING WARNING PLS READ THIS FIRST. </p><p>Hey so, this chapter is kind of dark. I don't think I ever delve too deep into anything that can truly trigger a reader of mine, but compared to the other chapters this is probably the darkest chapter (so far). Themes of self-blame, a little self-hatred, PTSD, anxiety attacks, mentions of injuries and blood (light), and in general if you've ever suffered from just terrible nightmares know that this entire chapter is centered around that.</p><p>Okay. Read on, my friends.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><hr/><p>                                                     </p><hr/><p>
  <em>"The monsters in your head</em>
</p><p>
  <em>are frightening for the very same reason</em>
</p><p>
  <em>everyone believe they should not be,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>they aren't real,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>because day in and day out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>you must live with the knowledge</em>
</p><p>
  <em>that your own mind is working against you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>whispering dark things in the middle of the night,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>disobeying your desperate cries to stop,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>your own mind is a murderous adversary,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>an enemy under your own skin,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and nothing is quite so terrifying."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>–Beau Taplin (the monsters in your head.)</em>
</p><hr/><p>"<em>Clint</em>?" I called out while stepping off the elevator onto the penthouse floor. The archer had texted me a couple minutes ago, asking where I was, and then disappeared on me. There was a 20% chance this was some elaborate prank he had planned out that I'd be pissed about, but there was an 80% chance he had his arm stuck between the wall and the stove. <em>Again</em>. I sighed and moved toward the kitchen, "<em>I swear to God, Clint, I've told you this before, if you get your phone stuck behind a kitchen appliance just</em>—"</p><p>I turned around the corner of the wall, the one separating the kitchen from the living space, and my fuzzy socks immediately stepped into a warm, thick puddle. My eyes slowly drifted down, curious and confused, to find my Captain America themed socks standing in a rather large puddle of blood. The soft material absorbed the blood a little too well. I took a few shaky, heavy steps, leaving bloody footprints as I went, and lifted my gaze. There, right on the kitchen island, Clint laid on his back unmoving and limp. His throat was a mess of bloody cuts and gashes, and his eyes were cloudy, blank, and unseeing.</p><p>Bile rose in my throat and the room began to tilt.</p><p>"<em>There you are</em>." A familiar face stepped into my line of vision. Boss was wiping the blood off a kitchen knife with a white handkerchief. He gave me a sick, excited grin. "<em>I've been looking for you, pet. Shame what happened to the Hawk</em>." Boss gave me a small nod and shrug. "<em>It is your fault though</em>."</p><p>Clint suddenly turned to face me. His eyes still dead, and thick blood sprayed from his throat when he spoke, "<em>He's right. It's your fucking fault</em>."</p><p>I was screaming.</p><p>I was screaming.</p><p>
  <em>I was screaming.</em>
</p><p>JARVIS was saying something, I was vaguely aware of his voice, but nothing registered. All I heard was my own ragged voice, all I smelled was Clint's thick blood, and all I saw was the cold, darkness in Boss' eyes. People raced into my room. The lights were on and there were hands on me, hands trying to bring me comfort, but I was trapped in my own mind.</p><p>This was the first nightmare I've had this year, and I knew that Boss escaping prison less than 48 hours ago wasn't just a fun coincidence.</p><p>Just like I knew<em>, I knew</em>, that this was only the start.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It was early in the morning, maybe a little past 3, and Tony was still tinkering. His sleeping habits had always been shit, but the stress of the last few days hadn't helped. <em>Fucking Eugene fucking Morgan</em> had slipped from containment and Aj was <em>suffering</em>. It seemed like anytime she laid down to rest she was plagued by a new nightmare. Her nights were spent in terror, and her days were spent drifting around the Tower like a ghost. A shadow of who she was. The only thing she showed any fire toward was when she boxed with a bag on the training floor, but they couldn't even let her do that for very long either. The first day they left her alone with it, Steve had gone down to find her with busted, bloody knuckles and no desire to stop.</p><p>Tony twisted the weapon in his hands. Natasha's '<em>widow bites'</em> needed no further work, but he had already updated every other bit of gear. The others put their energy into trying to find the guy who caused all this and, just like with Tony, their distraction yielded no real results.</p><p>"<em>Sir—"</em></p><p>Tony was moving before JARVIS even finished his sentence. It was like clockwork. He was surprised she had even lasted this long. He slid into the elevator and JARVIS took him down double speed. Before the doors even opened, Tony could hear her screaming. That was one of the worst parts. It wasn't even a startled scream or a scream of fright. Aj was screaming <em>bloody murder.</em> She was screaming like someone was tearing her into shreds. She screamed until her voice grew hoarse and then screamed <em>even more</em>.</p><p>"<em>Aj</em>!" Tony called out when he ran into her room. He hoped his voice would start to calm her, but she probably couldn't even hear it over her own cries. Aj was thrashing in bed, her eyes shut tightly as tears streamed down her exhausted features. Tony threw himself onto the side of her bed and grabbed her. There was grease on his hands, on his arms, but he didn't give a damn. He cupped the side of her neck with one hand and held her opposite shoulder, "Aj! Aj, you need to wake up! <em>Aj</em>!"</p><p>Her eyes snapped open. Blue eyes were blown wide with fear, and even though she was looking right at him it was like he wasn't even there. Tony squeezed her shoulder, "It was a nightmare. <em>It was a nightmare</em>, Aj. It wasn't real. You're safe. Everyone is okay."</p><p>Then the dam broke. Her eyes filled with more tears, Aj's focus was on him, and he didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. Aj held him tightly, like he was her only rope to reality, and Tony clung to her all the same. He knew what nightmares could bring. He could still, in detail, remember the nightmares that plagued him for months after the Ten Rings kidnapped him and held him in a cave against his will. Dreams of spraying blood, dying soldiers, hands clawing into his chest leaving it in ribbons of skin and muscle, and Yinsen's dying face. Dreams he'd wake up from, in the dark all alone, sobbing as JARVIS tried to calm him down with voice only. The ones from after the Battle of New York had been just as bad, the freezing cold of space, the helpless dread in the pit of his stomach at the sight of a legion of enemies, the sensation of free falling into more nothing… but at least he had Pepper then. He'd jolt awake and Pepper would hold him tightly until he fell into a softer, calmer sleep.</p><p>Tony remembered very clearly how waking up alone from a nightmare was almost as bad as the nightmare itself, and he would never, <em>ever</em>, let Aj try to deal with this alone like he had been forced to once upon a time.</p><p>"You're ok. <em>You're ok</em>." Tony mumbled tenderly along with various other reassurances.</p><p>"He killed her. He <em>killed</em> Nat. He kept just carving—<em>carving</em> into her and I couldn't—I <em>couldn't stop him</em>." Aj sobbed. Her words were separated with hiccups and desperate gasps for air.</p><p>Tony shifted so he was lying down on her bed and brought Aj down with him so her head was lying on his chest. He comfortingly rubbed her back, "She's ok. Nat is just fine. Let's be real, <em>nothing</em> could kill her. The Grim Reaper's a little spooked by her even."</p><p>Aj didn't chuckle at his joke, but he could feel her shaking body begin to calm. This was usually how it went. Aj would try to stay awake for as long as possible, too scared to close her eyes, but she'd fail at her goal due to the exhaustion of the restless night before. She'd finally pass out for a couple of hours only for a new round of nightmares to wake her up. One of them, they took turns now, would come down to comfort her and stay with her for the rest of her restless night. From that point, Aj would toss and turn and have another handful of night terrors before the morning sun came.</p><p>She was too proud to just spend the night in someone else's apartment, and in the morning she'd be embarrassed by the night's outcomes despite them telling her over and over and over again that she didn't need to be.</p><p>It had become the Tower's new routine.</p><p>Tony heard Aj's breaths even out as she fell asleep. He'd probably have a good twenty minutes before she was up again. He sighed and continued to trace his fingers against her back in a repeating pattern. Tony stared up at the ceiling and imagined the ways he'd love to rip <em>fucking Eugene fucking Morgan</em> to absolute shreds, piece by <em>fucking</em> piece.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Aj looked ill. A complete week of nightmares could do that to a person though. She had dark bags under her eyes and her usually healthy, tan skin looked pale and sickly. Her dark hair was freshly washed and pulled back into a tight braid, but apparently the shower she had taken hadn't refreshed her at all. Her usually vibrant blue eyes looked hollow and lifeless.</p><p>Sam <em>hated</em> it.</p><p>"Just two lunch specials." He said quietly to the waitress who then took their menus and left them with their coffees. Aj had been chugging coffee since the night terrors began in hopes that it could replace her sleep. That hadn't helped much either. "Aj?"</p><p>Her eyes drifted away from the large window they sat beside to look at him. She let out a tired sigh and weakly shook her head, "I don't know how good my company will be today, Sam."</p><p>"It's ok. I just wanted to check in with you. The others…"</p><p>"They're worried." Aj whispered, disappointment filling her crumpled features. "I <em>know</em>. I don't want to make them worry, but the dreams won't…"</p><p>Sam shook his head, "Worrying is what the Avengers do best. Right next to bullying me." Aj gave him a small smile at the joke. He shook his head, "Do you wanna talk about it?"</p><p>Her eyes snapped back to the window when a car horn went off. Aj's shoulders were stiff and tight as her gaze traced the entire scene outside. She was hypervigilant these days. Natasha told him that she walked around the Tower expecting someone to jump out from around a corner to attack. Sitting by the window hadn't been the greatest idea, but it was the only table the café had available right now. Sam knew she liked the food here, it had her favorite sandwich, and the poor girl desperately needed to eat something.</p><p>"Talk about the nightmares?" Aj finally turned her attention to him.</p><p>Sam shrugged and laced his fingers together in front of him, "Anything you wanna talk about, honey."</p><p>Aj rolled this around in her head before she spoke, "These nightmares have been different. I've always had bad dreams. They got better when I moved into the Tower but still…" She glanced out the window. "They were always about <em>me</em>. Me turning into the monster I <em>know</em> I am deep down."</p><p>"<em>Aj</em>—" Sam tried to argue.</p><p>She kept going like she hadn't even heard him, a distant look in her eyes, "The nightmares would be about my blood lust and I'd do <em>terrible</em> things but—but these <em>new</em> dreams…" Aj's hands began to shake and Sam watched as she wrapped them around her warm mug in an attempt to try and still them. She lowered her watery gaze to the coffee in it, "He's <em>killing</em> the people I love most, ripping them from me in the most <em>brutal</em>ways he could, and I can <em>never</em> stop him. I'm <em>never</em> enough. He just—he just <em>kills y'all</em> and I'm left standing in the blood knowing it's <em>all my fault</em>."</p><p>"Aj, that is <em>never</em> going to happen, and nothing is your fault." Sam said firmly.</p><p>Aj's eyes suddenly snapped up to meet his, "Sam, he's going to kill me. I know it. I feel it in my gut, and my gut is never wrong about that. <em>Boss is going to kill me</em>."</p><p>"He's <em>not</em>—"</p><p>"<em>He is</em>." Aj interrupted and Sam was startled by how matter of fact and plainly she said the words. The young woman truly believed every word she said on the matter. She shook her head once, "He's going to kill me and I am just <em>praying</em>—<em>begging…</em> any entity that's up there, that he'll leave y'all alone once he's done."</p><p>Sam reached his hand across the table and pulled her hand away from the mug to grip it tightly. He didn't let his eyes waver from hers, "Aj, he is <em>not</em> going to touch you. Not on our watch. The way you feel right now… it's the <em>nightmares</em>. They take a toll on your mind, convince you of <em>terrible</em>, <em>awful</em> things. Sometimes our own subconscious is our <em>worst</em> enemy."</p><p>He sighed, "I used to have this reoccurring nightmare. You remember my wingman Riley?" Aj nodded once. "Every time I closed my eyes, I'd watch him fall out of the sky again and again." Sam could still feel the cold night air, the smell of smoke, the heat from the came from the RPG that hit Riley dead on. Sam could still picture, in <em>vivid</em> detail, the look of panic on Riley's features, lit up from the burning of his gear, as he spiraled to the Earth. The last look he saw on his friend's face. God had put him up in the air to watch uselessly as Riley fell, and the front row seat to the disaster left Sam with a crystal clear memory of it all. "Sometimes, I still have the dream. Sometimes, it isn't even Riley up in the air with me. I'll watch Steve or Nat fall out of the sky into the darkness." Sam squeezed her hand. "Our nightmares take our deepest, darkest fear and force us to walk through it. That doesn't make any of it our fault though. It doesn't make it the truth."</p><p>The food came and they sat in silence while eating. Sam watched as she picked at her sandwich, only taking a few bites in total but downing two more full cups of coffee. Aj's appetite had been basically nonexistent since this all began. Bruce was concerned about her beginning to lose weight.</p><p>"We're going to find him, put an end to him—" Sam said firmly. "—and we're all gonna be just fine doing it. You included."</p><p>Aj leaned forward against the table, "I spent five years with him. Just five. Felt like a <em>million</em>." She kept her gaze away from his. "And I think… I think the <em>only</em> reason I survived was because I—I <em>disconnected</em>. I <em>had</em>to. For most of that time, I just <em>drifted</em> through life. If I was too present, then I'd suffer. It was better to just live in the back of my head and let my body run on auto-pilot."</p><p>Sam nodded, "Disassociation is our mind's way of protecting itself."</p><p>"Towards the end there, I was getting tired. I was <em>so fucking tired</em>. I think I was really close to just… to just disappearing entirely." Aj slowly brought her gaze back up to his. There was a spark of life in her hollow eyes, but it was a burning ember of absolute horror. "Y'all brought me back, and I'm <em>finally</em> alive and I <em>finally </em>have a future… but—"</p><p>"Aj?"</p><p>"Sam, I <em>can't</em> disappear again. I can't go back there." The tears that had been building up in the corner of her eyes finally fell and dripped down her cheeks. "When I say that Boss is going to kill me, it's the <em>best case scenario</em> because… I won't—I <em>can't</em> survive another five years, Sam. I can't. <em>I can't</em>."</p><p>Sam felt his heart break for her. His entire body, his entire soul, ached in pain for her. What do you say to someone who thinks death is the better of two options?</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>She was gasping for breath. Gasping with no relief. It was as if her head had been underwater rather than just lying in Natasha's lap. Clint was quick to leap out of his armchair to get to her as Natasha rubbed her back soothingly, but Aj still gasped for every shaky breath. Despite her body taking in air, her brain told her she wasn't, and the poor girl cried that she couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe.</p><p>The good news was that Clint had convinced the stubborn girl to stay in his and Natasha's room tonight from the beginning so they caught this episode early, but the bad news was the dreams seemed worse than ever. Ten days of this. <em>Ten</em>. Ten days of watching someone they cared about wilt in front of them while they watched uselessly. They were <em>useless</em>. Nothing they did, nothing they had, helped her. It was getting to the point where they were considering sedating her, just so her body could get a little rest, but Aj's fear and hatred of hard medications got in the way of that plan.</p><p>"You're ok, Aj! <em>You're ok</em>! Calm down and take a slow breath!" Clint said.</p><p>Natasha mumbled Russian reassurances under her breath, and slowly Aj finally began to calm. The pale woman slumped back into the bed and Natasha went back to running her hands through the dark hair.</p><p>"Do you remember the Egypt mission? 2005?" Natasha asked softly. Clint nodded, but he couldn't take his eyes off Aj's prone, twitching form. "The nightmares you had for weeks after… she—"</p><p>"<em>Natasha</em>." Clint forced her to stop talking.</p><p>Egypt had gone badly for him. He had a lot of bad missions under his belt, but Egypt 2005 had been one of his worst. Natasha hadn't been available, and he decided to go out on his own without backup. It was supposed to be simple though. The mission was a simple intel pickup. No one had any way of knowing how wrong everything could go, and everything that could go wrong had. Clint found himself in the hands of HYDRA despite the fact that their sources told them there was no base out there. Maybe that should've been one of their first early clues that HYDRA had their fingers in SHIELD business.</p><p>The torture session, they called it interrogation, had lasted a total of 17 hours and Clint was lucky he came out with all his fingers and toes. They had pulled out all the stops, didn't hold back at all, and the entire thing left him with scars both mentally and physically. The worst of it though was when they pulled out the water around hour 14.</p><p>Needless to say, the nightmares that plagued him after that mission all involved drowning. Clint couldn't even look at a body of water for a few months after. Natasha had to comfort him every time he woke up breathless and suffocating. She had to convince him every single time that he was safe in a warm, dry bed and not having his head dunked into a tub of ice water or getting a soaked rag held tightly over his face as he was shot with a hose. Aj didn't talk about any of the nightmares she's had in the last few days. If they asked, all they got was a glassy look in her eyes and the beginnings of a panic attack.</p><p>So now they just didn't ask.</p><p>"They fucking waterboarded her, Clint." Natasha said between clenched teeth. A string of angry Russian curses followed. "They fucking <em>drowned</em> her."</p><p>Clint wanted to try to reassure her. They didn't know. Not for sure. They didn't know, but at the same time some part of them did and it made him sick to his stomach. Clint didn't give a damn if Aj spent her life fighting. At the end of the day, she was a civilian and this shouldn't have been her life. As bad as Egypt had been, Clint had been trained for it. He knew what was coming, he knew what to expect, and he knew SHIELD was sending someone after him. Aj hadn't been trained, she hadn't had someone tell her that waterboarding would feel like she was dying in slow motion, and she believed no one would ever pull her out of that hell hole. He <em>hated</em> this. Clint <em>hated</em> this with every fiber of his being, but there was one good thing about Eugene Morgan escaping from prison.</p><p>It meant Clint could find him and put an arrow in that bastard's eye socket.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"Thanks for this, Bruce." Aj said. Her voice was weak and soft. Two words Bruce would rarely used to describe the fiery woman. He mumbled back an acknowledgement but continued to work on the IV he was setting up into her arm. Between the crying, sweating, and lack of drinking, Aj was dehydrated. Dangerously so.</p><p>They weren't alone in the room. Clint was leaning against the medical lab's doorframe across from them just watching silently. Steve was standing next to Aj, her other hand held between his, with nothing but concern on his face. Steve was the only one talking, trying to convince Aj of something, but Bruce had his voice zoned out. All his focus right now was on putting in this IV. That and controlling his heartrate.</p><p>"There." Bruce said, hitting a button on the settings, and rolling back on his stool.</p><p>Steve gave Aj a reassuring smile, "That should help. Do you want…" The Captain's words trailed off as Aj's eyes began to flutter. Clint hurried forward as well, but Bruce just watched as Aj's body slumped back against the medical bed. "Aj? <em>Aj</em>?!"</p><p>"She's fine." Bruce replied nonchalantly. He re-checked that the IV lines weren't crossed before pushing the stand into the corner of the bed so it wasn't at risk of being accidentally knocked over.</p><p>Steve's eyes widened with recognition then flashed with bold anger, "What the <em>hell</em> did you give her?!"</p><p>"Midazolam." Bruce adjusted her arms and pulled a blanket over Aj's lower body, tucking her in best he could.</p><p>Steve argued again, "You know how badly she reacts to sedation and pain meds. Aj <em>didn't</em> want this, she <em>hates</em> this."</p><p>"She <em>needs</em> some kind of rest." Bruce replied between clenched teeth. His friend's voices were starting to grate on his already fried nerves. He could feel his very fragile patience wearing thin.</p><p>Clint spoke up this time, "Sedation isn't the same as sleep. You never get to the deep stage where—"</p><p>"The deep stage where the brain repairs itself, <em>I know</em>!" Bruce snapped. He threw his arm out toward them, "What I also know is that if Aj doesn't get any sort of sleep soon her body is going to start <em>shutting down</em>!" He scoffed. "Sedating her is a short-term answer, but I'd rather her get the <em>bare minimum</em> of rest instead of <em>nothing</em>. When she wakes up, she can complain to me <em>all she wants</em>—hell, she can <em>hate</em> me if she needs to, but I know that I'd rather have her furious than dead!"</p><p>"<em>Dr. Banner—"</em></p><p>"<em>What</em>!?"</p><p>"<em>Dr. Banner, your heartrate is dangerously elevated. Enough so to activate level one of the Jolly Green protocol."</em> JARVIS said. "<em>I must ask that you remove yourself from this setting."</em></p><p>Bruce clenched his jaw again and took slow breaths in and out of his nose. Tony and Natasha, who had been in the Avengers' lab, were now standing in the doorway with concern. It had been a very long time since Bruce's heartrate got high enough to activate any sort of level of the protocol designed to keep the Hulk down. He hadn't meant to snap at Steve and Clint.</p><p>He hadn't meant to lose his temper.</p><p>"I'm sorry. You're right, Bruce." Steve said after a moment. He nodded, "Any kind of rest is better than nothing. I didn't mean to upset you."</p><p>Bruce shook his head, "You didn't. <em>Neither of you did</em>. I'm angry at—"</p><p>The sentence didn't need to be finished. Everyone in the room knew who Bruce was angry at. Tensions were just running high in the Tower. Watching part of your family wither away to nothing, while you could do absolutely nothing to help, could do that. All Bruce knew was that if something didn't change, and soon, they were going to hit a point of no return.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Steve was a kid he went through a phase of night terrors. It was one of the many things that plagued his more frail body. Luckily, unlike most of his other health complications, Steve had grown out of the night terrors. Granted, at this point it seemed he had just traded the night terrors for trauma induced nightmares, but life was funny that way he guessed.</p><p>He couldn't remember any of the terrible nightmares he had as a kid. Those faded away a long, long time ago. What he did remember was that anytime a night terror had him thrashing and screaming in bed, his ma would curl up beside him and mumble a song under her breath while combing her fingers through his hair. It was calming. It made him feel safe. That's all he wanted for Aj.</p><p>He just wanted her to feel <em>safe</em>.</p><p>Steve couldn't remember the words to the lullaby his ma would sing to him, but he remembered the tune. He'd never forget that. The only light in his room streamed through the large windows while Aj laid in her fitful sleep, her head resting on his chest. Steve hummed his old lullaby while softly letting his fingers run through her hair. He couldn't help but notice how much lighter she felt. Aj had always been a hearty eater. Enough so that Clint and Tony used to make jokes about her having more of a super soldier metabolism than he did. These days she was just eating the bare minimum and it showed. It had taken its toll. Every nightmare took it's pound of flesh from her. It left her metaphorically bleeding out.</p><p>A pained whimper left her lips just as her entire body tensed against him. Aj's hand, resting on his chest, clenched a fistful of his shirt. Steve stopped combing his fingers through her hair to cup the back of her neck. He whispered, "<em>Hey. You're okay, doll</em>."</p><p>Aj relaxed marginally in his hold. Saying the nickname she didn't like to hear had been an accident, but Aj was too far lost to even notice it. He let his own body relax into his bed while he prayed that Aj would stay asleep. He prayed that the nightmares would leave her alone for just a moment. That's all he was asking for. He'd get down on his knees and beg if he thought it would help.</p><p>With a sudden gasp, Aj jerked out his grip and sat up in bed. Steve hurried to sit up as well, but Aj didn't scream like he expected her to. She just sat there, staring ahead at nothing, with a lost look in her hollow eyes. Steve had never seen her vibrant blue eyes so listless and lifeless. It felt like someone had physically sucker punched him.</p><p>"Aj, you're okay." Steve said softly while taking her face into his hands, trying to get her to focus on his face, "You're in the Tower, in my room, and you're safe. <em>You're safe</em>. He's not here."</p><p>Aj finally recognized him and her features crumpled into despair, "I'm sorry, <em>I'm sorry</em>, I'm <em>so</em> sorry, Steve, I didn't want to hurt you, I'm—<em>I'm so sorry</em>. Don't make me go. Please don't make me leave."</p><p>Steve lightly shushed her and pulled her into his arms, "You're not going anywhere, Aj. I won't let anyone take you away. I swear it."</p><p>Aj collapsed into his arms and just sobbed into his shoulder while desperately gripping the back of his shirt. It was like she was scared something, or <em>someone</em>, was going to walk up and tear her from his arms. As if he'd <em>ever</em> let anything take her from him. He tightened his grip and mumbled promises to her.</p><p>He didn't even have the energy to feel angry right now. The only thing Steve felt was fear and a deep resounding sadness. He knew what it felt like to be trapped in a nightmare. He had his fair share. Sometimes he was in that plane again, saying good-bye to Peggy, and plunging into what was supposed to be his icy grave. Sometimes he was on the train, watching Bucky fall out of his grip again and again and <em>again</em>. Steve's mind had no deficiency of traumatic moments to craft nightmares from. Regardless of the nightmare though, he knew the toll it took afterwards. The fear, the guilt, the pain. It was something he hated that Aj was going through. If Steve could bear this weight for her, take the pain himself, he would in a heartbeat.</p><p>Aj's body began to relax in his arms as her sobs began to calm. She shook her head against him and mumbled words into his chest. All he could hear was a muffled apology on repeat. Steve pressed his lips into the top of her hair and began to silently plead again. He'd do anything. He'd do <em>anything</em>.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Once, Boss kept me awake for 72 hours straight. To be honest, I couldn't even remember why. He was upset about something, but he was always upset about everything, so God knows. Boss locked me in his office and didn't let me out unless it was to fight. He made one of his goons stay with me and anytime I began to doze off the goon would slap the shit out of me. The asshole would even follow me into the bathroom to make sure I didn't pass out for a few minutes in there. I had kept track of the hours until 58 when I got too exhausted to keep numbers straight. A while after I stopped counting, in the middle of my seventh fight of the night, I remember making a mistake. I rolled instead of weaved and my opponent slammed their fist right into my face. For a second I blacked out, but unfortunately it didn't last longer than a few seconds. When I came to, lying on my back listening to the pit crowd scream around me, my only thought was, '<em>God this is a new level of exhaustion'.</em> It was like I could feel my body turning against me, refusing to help me any further.</p><p>This was worse.</p><p>This was <em>so much worse</em>.</p><p>This was day 13 of non-stop nightmares, and I was at the end of my rope.</p><p>I had passed exhaustion about six days ago. Now, I was at '<em>death warmed over'</em>. The only thing different between me and a corpse was the corpse actually got to close their eyes and rest in peace. My body hadn't just turned against me, I could feel it <em>shutting down</em>. I was crying and sweating more water than I could take in, and any food I put into my mouth tasted like ash and made me sick.</p><p>The worst part of all this though, was how weak minded I felt.</p><p>I thought I was stronger than this, braver than this, and yet here I was falling apart just at the thought of Boss getting near me. The nightmares were bad. There was only so many times you could watch someone you love die in bloody, brutal ways before you cracked, but I thought I could last longer. I felt <em>weak</em>. I felt <em>pathetic</em>. I felt <em>unworthy</em> of all the care the Avengers doted on me, and damn did they dote on me.</p><p>They'd give me warm smiles and soft words, but I saw the worry on their faces. I could feel the tension and pain hanging in the air around us. If Tony wasn't holding me up, telling me shitty jokes in an attempt to make me laugh, then he was in his lab with music blasting. If Clint wasn't cuddled beside me on the couch protectively and if Nat wasn't braiding my hair and whispering comforts to me in Russian, then they were in the Conference Room on a manhunt. If Bruce wasn't making me tea and checking my blood pressure and pulse every twenty minutes, then he was in his meditation room hiding away. If Steve wasn't smiling at me, promising everything was going to be ok, then he was in the training gym destroying sandbags.</p><p>The Avengers were worried, and it was <em>all my fault</em>.</p><p>Even Sam hovered around me. It felt like he was here more often than he wasn't. I guess they all figured having a therapist around was a good idea. Talking to Sam helped, but he couldn't stop the nightmares. Nobody could.</p><p>It was really nice that they tried though.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Aj, I'm still on my way. I got a flat tire, but AAA is nearly here." Sam said through the phone. I was sitting in my living room, in the middle of the couch, with the blanket Steve had gotten me for Christmas swaddled around me. Sam's voice was speaking through JARVIS' speakers. "It's still gonna be at least half an hour." I could hear Sam's disappointment and worry. "I'm gonna call Steve. They <em>just</em> left, maybe if they aren't too far out—"</p><p>"<em>No</em>." I said quickly. A mission had arose, an all hands on deck situation, and we had argued in circles for an hour about if someone should stay behind. Thor was here for this mission so Clint argued that him staying behind wouldn't be too big of a deal, but I refused to let him stay. If something happened to the team because they didn't have everyone they needed there... The nightmares wouldn't have to kill me, I'd die of guilt. "The Avengers don't stop being the Avengers because I'm having some bad dreams."</p><p>"<em>Aj</em>—"</p><p>"Sam, I'll be fine until you get here. I'll just watch TV." I reassured him, trying to keep my voice as strong as I could manage.</p><p>He finally caved and let out a sigh, "Okay, but call me if you need me. Don't hesitate, Aj. Alright? No need to play it tough."</p><p>"See you soon, Sam."</p><p>The phone disconnected and JARVIS turned back on the music I had playing before he had called. The TV was also on playing one of Clint's shows in the background. I didn't have the kind of focus these days to actively watch anything. Any energy I did have today was spent on my phone call with Granny. Tony was close to flying her out. He would've already if Granny wasn't busy watching Aubrey's kids. The only way she could come is if she brought the kids with her and everybody was on the fence on whether or not that would help. Something told me I was a couple more bad days away from them saying '<em>fuck it'</em> and flying the whole lot of them up to me anyways.</p><p>I sat on the couch, letting my eyes glaze over as I followed the colors and motions on the TV in front of me. I hope the team wasn't too distracted by me while on their mission. I hated that I was putting them in danger like that. I was a distraction. I was a liability. I was a broken cog in a once efficient machine. A venomous voice whispered at the back of my head. It wondered how long the Avengers would continue to put up with me before deciding I wasn't worth the effort. It was the very fear I had when I first got here. People leaving me, because they realized I was poison, was so much easier when I didn't get attached to them. But of course, my life didn't work like that. I didn't destroy things until I began to love them. That's when my bloody hands began to taint everything they touched.</p><p>The elevator opened and my head turned in surprise. I had gotten off the phone with Sam only five minutes ago, there was no way he was already here. I leaned forward on the couch and I felt my heart stop when Bucky stepped off onto my floor.</p><p>"<em>B—Bucky</em>?" I breathed in shock. He had on a white, long sleeve shirt with dark jeans. His hair was the same length I remembered, but he had more scruff along his jawline. Bucky's piercing gaze held mine. "<em>You</em>—"</p><p>"<em>Doll</em>." He sighed and it snapped me out of my daze. I jumped off the couch and met him halfway. Bucky caught me as I collided into him and his arms wrapped around me tightly. Thank God he did because I'd be a puddle on the floor otherwise. I buried my face into his chest. "<em>I was so worried. Are you alright?</em>"</p><p>I pulled back just enough to look up at him, "<em>I'm—I'm fine. How are you here? You shouldn't be here, I—"</em></p><p>"<em>You worried me. I wasn't gonna leave you here to handle this alone, doll</em>." Bucky replied with a soft smile. Over the last 13 days, I knew Bucky had been concerned. I hid my exhaustion as long as I could, but that didn't last long. Our conversations had gotten shorter and shorter until they phased into only texts anytime I used the bathroom. It was hard to make sneaky calls when I had an Avenger hovering over me at all times worried I was gonna pass out. Still, I had no idea he had planned on—on <em>this</em>.</p><p>I shook my head, "<em>This—This is good. I know you're worried about Steve being upset but he isn't</em>." I clung to his shoulders. "<em>I swear he isn't. You can stay Bucky, you can stay with us</em>!"</p><p>"<em>Hey</em>", Bucky said softly. He lifted one hand to cup the side of my face, "<em>I ain't going anywhere, doll</em>."</p><p>Despite the exhaustion, I felt my lips curl up into a watery smile. I opened my mouth to speak again, to thank him, but the loud sound of a gun going off three times put ice into my veins. I blinked in shock and my eyes drifted down to where three red dots began to blossom and spread across his white shirt like a demented work of art.</p><p>"<em>No…No, no, no</em>." I stammered out. Bucky's face twisted in pain as he began to slump to the floor. I pathetically tried to catch and hold him up, but he just brought me down with him. "<em>No, no, no, please, God, no</em>." Bucky was wheezing in pain as blood began to pool around him. His entire shirt was a dripping red that coated my hands and arms as I tried to hold him up. "<em>Bucky, please—"</em></p><p>"<em>What a shame</em>." My eyes snapped up at the nasally voice. Boss stood at the mouth of the elevator with a smoking gun. His slicked back blond hair and pasty skin looked ghostly compared to the all black suit he wore. "<em>Such a lovely weapon of destruction and because of you he's dying</em>."</p><p>I shook my head desperately, tears streaming down my cheeks, "<em>No, please, not Bucky. Not Bucky, please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry—"</em></p><p>"<em>Sorry is too late, pet</em>." Boss crouched down and pointed to Bucky with the end of his gun, "<em>Look at him</em>." My eyes drifted down in time to see blood leak from his mouth as he choked on his blood. "<em>You did this to him, Aj. You did this to him</em>!"</p><p>I continued to shake my head, as if it could un-right this wrong. As if my denial could put the bullets back into the gun. Bucky was begging through his blood and my entire body shook. I grasped at his bloody shirt, "<em>I'm sorry, please, help me save him. I can't let him die. Please</em>."</p><p>"<em>Then why did you kill him, Aj</em>?" Boss asked snidely.</p><p>Bucky took in a pained breath and I looked back at him to see the pain etched into his features. I reached out to touch his face, but I couldn't feel his warmth. My hand only left a large smudge of blood on his cheek. I still tried to hold his face anyways as I sobbed, "<em>I'm sorry, Bucky. I'm so sorry.</em>"</p><p>"<em>W—Why? Why did you—did you do this to me</em>?" Bucky gasped. I shook my head, useless apologizes spilling from my lips. His eyes began to dim, losing the light that kept me going in that bunker so long ago. "<em>I shouldn't—"</em></p><p>"<em>I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me</em>." I cried again. My chest ached as if the bullets had buried themselves into my skin rather than his. "<em>Please don't leave me.</em>"</p><p>"<em>I shouldn't have saved you, doll</em>." He whispered in his last breath. His chest stopped rising and there was nothing in his eyes. I shook him hard once, screaming, and then forced myself up to start chest compressions. <em>Anything</em>. I was <em>desperate</em>. Bucky couldn't die. I couldn't kill Bucky. I couldn't kill Toska.</p><p>
  <em>Please, God, no.</em>
</p><p>The sound of a gun loading made me glance up. Boss was gone, and in his place stood the Winter Soldier. He had the shape of Bucky, the same broad shoulders and thick thighs, but whereas Bucky curled into himself to hide his size, the Soldier used every inch of it to intimidate. His metal arm on full display as he wore only his thick, black, leather armor. His eyes were empty, void of any emotion at all, as he stared down at me like I was nothing more than an ant under his boot. The lower half of his face was covered, and his hand didn't shake as he held the gun to my head.</p><p>"<em>Смерть тебе подходит</em>." The Soldier said before pulling the trigger.</p><p>Someone was screaming.</p><p>Someone was screaming.</p><p>Oh. I was. It was me.</p><p>"<em>Ms. Bradshaw, you are in distress. Per Setting Sun protocol, I am patching through to Mr. S—"</em></p><p>"No!" I yelled while gasping for air. My body had fallen off the couch, and I now laid on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. My blanket was a tangled mess around me. "Don't contact—<em>Don't</em>—"</p><p>I couldn't finish my sentence. All I could hear in my head was Bucky crying out in pain and all I could see was the life leaving his eyes. I had killed him. <em>I killed him</em>. It was <em>my</em> fault. <em>All my fault</em>. It was all my fault that Bucky was dead. Bucky was dead. <em>Bucky was dead</em>. The world around me began to blur as tears clouded my vision. I scrambled to get up and ended up falling once, hard, when I tripped over the blanket. Still, that didn't stop me. I sprinted to the bathroom and made a desperate grab for the familiar olive jacket hanging on the back of the door.</p><p>As my hand grasped the burner phone, I fell to the floor and immediately hit the only number it had saved. The line connected on the second ring.</p><p>"Aj—"</p><p>"<em>Bucky</em>!" I yelled, but it was a garbled mess through my sobs. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry—I—I <em>killed</em> you, you were <em>dead</em> and—and I <em>couldn't</em>— I didn't mean it." I heard Bucky's voice, but the words wouldn't stop falling out of my mouth. "You were <em>bleeding</em> and I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry— You were <em>dead</em>, Bucky, <em>you were dead</em>, and it was <em>me</em>. I caused it! I—"</p><p>"Whoa, whoa, doll, slow down." Bucky finally spoke loud enough to cut in. I pulled my legs tightly into my chest trying to make myself as small as possible. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and I was suffocating. "It was a nightmare. <em>Just a nightmare</em>. You <em>didn't</em> hurt me. <em>You could never</em>. Are you okay, Aj?"</p><p>His words of comfort felt wrong to me. He was wrong. Bucky was wrong about me, they all were. I shook my head, "It <em>was</em> my fault, it <em>is</em> my fault. Boss is going to kill everybody I love and it's <em>all my fault</em>." I sucked in a sharp breath that brought no relief. I was beginning to feel lightheaded. My next words left me in a breathless whimper, "You should've just let me die in that bunker."</p><p>"<em>Hey</em>!" Bucky snapped firmly. "<em>Don't</em>. Don't you <em>dare</em> say that." I bit down on my lower lip to keep my continued whimpers and sobs from going over the line to him. I pressed my forehead onto my knees. Bucky continued, fire in his voice, "This is the nightmare talking and the nightmare is just your worst fears. It doesn't know <em>shit</em> about you. Remember what we said? What did we agree on about our nightmares?"</p><p>I swallowed the lump in my throat and whispered back, "We aren't who we are in those dreams."</p><p>"We are <em>not</em> who we are in our nightmares." Bucky repeated firmly. "The <em>only</em> person who should be held responsible, who has <em>any</em> blame, is the <em>motherfucker</em> who hurt you. <em>Eugene</em>. This is <em>not</em> your fault. <em>None of it is</em>. Doll, I don't care if he this guy walked up to me and <em>shot me in the head</em>—"</p><p>"<em>Bucky</em>—"</p><p>"It <em>wouldn't</em> be your fault. You <em>wouldn't</em> be to blame." Bucky said.</p><p>I sniffled and pressed my free hand against the back of my neck, keeping my head down, "He said it himself and he was <em>right</em>. Boss was right. <em>I'm poison</em>. I hurt <em>everyone</em> around me, I can't—<em>I can't help it</em>. I destroy everything I touch. It's why they run. The smart ones, the safe ones, are the people who leave me before I can hurt them."</p><p>"That sick son of a bitch isn't right. I bet he's never been right a day in his life." Bucky scoffed. He took in a shaky breath, "You are <em>not</em> poison. You <em>aren't</em>. You don't hurt the people around you, you make them <em>happy</em>. You bring them <em>peace</em>. Being around you is like—is like <em>finally</em> finding shelter from a storm. You're a <em>refuge</em>."</p><p>"What's that thing you always tell me?" I forced out a sad scoff, "I think you give me too much credit."</p><p>Bucky let out a soft hum, "No, doll, I'm right."</p><p>"How could you be so sure?" I asked quietly.</p><p>"Aj, you've gone through hell, <em>absolute hell</em>, and there are <em>so</em> many things you could be afraid of. So many fears your head could latch onto, but your fear—" Bucky paused for a moment. "—the thing that <em>haunts </em>you in your sleep—is the fear of your loved ones being hurt. I think that's a testament to the kind of person you are. Why do you think I let you go with the Avengers? I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you. You're a <em>hero</em>."</p><p>I pushed my head up with an angry scoff, "Bucky, get real."</p><p>"<em>Doll</em>—"</p><p>"I could make a list, a <em>mile fucking long</em>, of people who'd consider me more villain than—"</p><p>"<em>Aimee Jane</em>!" Bucky snapped again using my full name. I had told it to him ages ago, when he asked what Aj stood for, but he had never said it again. The sound of my name, in <em>his</em> voice, made my screaming mind quiet. "Listen to me. I need you to <em>just listen to me</em>, alright?"</p><p>I nodded and swiped away a few more stray tears. My face felt hot and swollen and my voice was weak, "Yeah… I can listen."</p><p>"Do you remember when we met?" Bucky questioned and I wished he could see me roll my eyes. He knew I very much remembered it. He continued, "When Vladimir roped me into that bunker I was <em>lost</em>. Most days back then, I couldn't even remember my name. The months after I saved Steve I was just <em>wandering</em>. Trying to <em>run from myself</em>." I hated thinking about Bucky drifting around lost in his own head. He chuckled, "I was running from myself and getting <em>nowhere</em>, but then…" Bucky hesitated for a second. "Then I found myself in <em>you</em>. You opened those fire filled eyes and made me remember… remember what it felt like to be Bucky. Steve may have woken me up, but… you made me feel human again. Doll, I didn't save you in that bunker. <em>You saved me.</em>"</p><p>A shaky breath left me as a new wave of tears fell from my eyes. This time it wasn't a body shaking sob though. It was slow. It was soft. I took in steadying breaths as Bucky continued to whisper words of comfort in my ear to chase away the anxiety. Sometimes in English, sometimes in a language I didn't really recognize. I tried to let his words soak into me.</p><p>You are not your nightmares. <em>I am not my nightmares.</em></p><p>It's not your fault. <em>It's not my fault.</em></p><p>You are everything good in this world. <em>I am everything good in this world.</em></p><p>You are not poison. <em>I am not poison.</em></p><p>I am not poison.</p><p>I am not poison.</p><p>
  <em>I am not poison.</em>
</p><p>"I'm sorry I called you like this." I finally said when my breathing was steady enough. "I'm sorry we haven't been able to talk like we usually do."</p><p>Bucky chuckled, "You don't need to apologize for any of that. I… I missed you, though."</p><p>If this had been any other time, I would've made fun of him for admitting it. Teased him and egged him on to tease me back, but right now? I just soaked in the warmth of those words. I missed him too.</p><p>"Doll—"</p><p>"<em>Aj</em>?" Sam's voice called out from the living room faintly.</p><p>"I gotta go, Bucky. Sam is here, he can't hear you." I said quickly and sat up.</p><p>Bucky argued, "<em>Wait, no, Aj</em>—"</p><p>"I'll text you."</p><p>I flipped the phone shut and stuffed it into my pajama pants pocket right as Sam rushed into my room. He spotted me through the open bathroom door and his tense shoulders slumped at the sight of me.</p><p>"JARVIS said you had a bad one." Sam said and crossed over to me. He knelt down in front of me and set his hand on the side of my arm. "Are you okay?"</p><p>I nodded, "A little better now. It was…It was bad, but…I'm okay right now."</p><p>"You wanna talk about it?" Sam questioned.</p><p>"Not really, but…" I paused and tried to find the words I wanted to say. If anyone could clear this up for me it would be Sam. I shook my head, "How do…How do you convince yourself to believe what other people say about yourself?"</p><p>Sam scrunched his eyebrows up in confusion, "What do you mean?"</p><p>"For example, you told me I was worthy the first time we met." I said and Sam nodded firmly as if to agree with his previous statement again. "But my idiot brain always tells me I'm not and…and I want to believe you guys, God do I want to, but it's so hard to…"</p><p>Sam sighed, finally understanding, "It's hard to ignore that little internal voice." I nodded in confirmation and he chuckled. "You're not alone, you know? We all have that issue, I think. Tony's talked to me about it before. You know what I told him?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I told him to imagine that internal voice is a person in a bar talking <em>shit</em>." He said with a grin and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Sam squeezed my arm, "He's just some drunk asshole that walked up to you and is now insulting you. <em>Really</em> tearing you apart. What would <em>we</em> say back? If I was in that bar with you, what would I say about that jackass? What would Steve say? Nat? Tony? Bruce? Clint?" He offered me his other hand to help me up off the bathroom floor. Sam pulled me into a hug that I eagerly returned. "Your internal voice is a dickhead, Aj. Let us be your internal voice for a little while, okay?"</p><p>I nodded and pulled back with a small smirk, "I don't know if I want Clint Barton in my head all the time." Sam laughed and walked me out. He went to pull me out into the living room, but I paused by my bed. "I think… I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep, Sam."</p><p>Sam's humor disappeared and that worry I hated being the cause of came back, "You sure? I can stay in here with you."</p><p>I shook my head, "I just want some time alone. It's fine. We know JARVIS will tell you the minute I start freaking out."</p><p>"<em>That is accurate, Mr. Wilson."</em> JARVIS agreed.</p><p>Sam chuckled and nodded once. He gave me another quick hug, letting me know he'd be right outside in the living room if I needed him, and then left. I stared at the door for a second. The moonlight from outside lighting it up. Maybe I could do that. Let someone else be my internal voice for a little while. That didn't sound so hard.</p><p>I pulled out the phone from my pocket to send Bucky a quick text. Seconds after it went through though, the phone was vibrating in my hand. Quickly, and quietly, I tiptoed back into the bathroom, shut the door, and answered it, "Hey."</p><p>"You're gonna try to sleep again?"</p><p>"I have to eventually." I shrugged. "You really helped though, Bucky. I think I might get a few good hours in tonight."</p><p>There was a pause and for a second I thought he hung up entirely. Finally, Bucky spoke up, "Don't hang up. Stay on the line with me when you lay down."</p><p>"I can't." I scrunched my face up. "I don't think JARVIS records anything, he's not supposed to, but Sam could walk in or the Avengers could come back and—"</p><p>"<em>I don't care</em>, <em>doll</em>." Bucky replied softly. "Come on. Humor me."</p><p>Hesitantly, I opened the bathroom door and hurried to my bed. I slipped under the cool covers and brought the thick comforter up close around my neck so it was bundled around me. This way if someone walked in they'd hopefully just see the back of my head and my mountain of blankets.</p><p>The moment my head hit the cold pillow I felt my eyes flutter in response as my body sagged into the mattress. Every part of me, except my mind, craved sleep. I turned the volume up on the side just a little then set it beside the pillow by my head.</p><p>"Alright. I'm in bed following your dumb plan."</p><p>"Wow, how about you give me a little faith?" Bucky joked back.</p><p>I chuckled, "Fine. Now what?"</p><p>Bucky hummed, "Well, you tell me. Do you wanna hear about the time my ma asked me and Becca to make dinner and we accidentally set the stove on fire or about the first time I ever roped Steve into a double date and it ended with just the two of us hitchhiking on the side of the road?"</p><p>"The second one. Definitely the second one." I replied with a small laugh.</p><p>"Alright, it's a <em>long</em> story, doll, so no interrupting." Bucky said. "Now, let me set the stage, the year was 1929…"</p><p>It didn't take long to realize what his plan was. My eyes grew heavier and heavier as I listened to Bucky's voice as he told the story. He left out no details as he went on and on. My eyes finally shut, and my internal voice chimed up to remind me how worried everyone I loved was. How I was <em>weak</em> and <em>pathetic</em> for not dealing with this on my own. I pictured a faceless figure spitting its venomous thoughts at me.</p><p>
  <em>'You are nothing.'</em>
</p><p>Tony would pull me into his side and say, '<em>Why even try to mess with this alone when I'm right here to help. Everyone knows my company is the absolute best</em>.' Natasha would stand in front of me and death glare the source of the words. Clint would just tell it to '<em>fuck off'</em>. Sam would order me another drink and then Bruce would distract me by telling me about his newest experiment.</p><p>Steve would hold my hand in his, bring the back of it up to his lips, and say, '<em>Don't listen to it. Listen to me</em>.'</p><p>"—now in my defense, I truly thought the girl had told me her name was Boris. It sounded wrong, but it wasn't my place to judge her parents' decision making skills—" Bucky's voice drifted out of the burner phone and enveloped me into a cocoon of something warm and soft. Something that felt <em>safe</em>.</p><p>The voice would say, '<em>You are nothing'</em>, but Bucky would say, '<em>You are everything'</em>.</p><p>Consciousness slipped away from me and, for the first time in a long time, I didn't dream at all.</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Pretty Like a Car Crash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Soooooo I didn't get a lot of comments last chapter, but I never get many comments on average. I just wanna make sure last chapter wasn't too much? I really don't feel like it was, but I hope I didn't lose any readers from it (especially since I do plan on going darker oh no lol). </p>
<p>Forreal tho if you can spare 12 seconds to comment (even if its just a thumbs up or thumbs down emoji) I would so super appreciate it and appreciate you!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"Damaged people love you like you are a crime scene before a crime has even committed. They keep their running shoes beside their souls every night, one eye open in case things change whilst they sleep. Their backs are always tense as though waiting to fight a sudden storm that might engulf them.</em>
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  <em>Because damaged people have already seen hell.</em>
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  <em>And damaged people understand that every evil demon that exists down there was once a kind angel before it fell."</em>
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  <em>—Nikita Gill</em>
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<p>"Alright, now, I'm just walking down the street, minding my business and this guy walks right up into me. He's <em>all</em> up in my personal space." Aj was recounting the story of her morning walk using her arms to emphasize everything she said. There was a wide grin on her face, color to her features with extra pink from the biting cold outside, and amusement dancing in her lively, blue eyes. "And I <em>immediately</em> go into fight or flight because that's usually how my life works and I'm thinking he's gonna throw hands, but then this guy just holds out a half-eaten sandwich to me! Just <em>holds it out</em> and <em>stares at me</em>—"</p>
<p>She continued on with her story, but Steve just stared at her in reverence. He stared at her the way he assumed a man stranded on a desert island would stare at an approaching boat. The way an artist would stare at a work of art, and she was just that. Aj was a work of art.</p>
<p>Steve wasn't actually sure what happened. It was like a flip just switched and Aj started getting better. It started on the day that they worried it would get worse. The Avengers had a mission, and Sam was late to babysitting on no fault of his own. It was the perfect recipe for a disaster, but instead Aj slept through the night and through most of the morning. <em>Fifteen hours</em>. She slept for fifteen hours and woke up with an appetite. Watching her eat that first real meal, after having to watch her be a of ghost of who she was, was nothing short of a Goddamned miracle. He wasn't much of Catholic these days, but it nearly sent him to his knees with thankfulness that at least one of his whispered prayers had been heard.</p>
<p>Aj was still recovering. Only five days had passed since her turn around after all. She was eating and drinking and laughing though. She wasn't at 100% in the gym, but by all other accounts she was nearly mended.</p>
<p>"—so now, I'm <em>running</em>. Like <em>sprinting</em> for my life trying to chase down sandwich guy—" Aj continued and Steve noticed he wasn't the only one enchanted by her. He glanced over at Natasha who met his eyes and they shared a relieved smile. This was the first time they had done family breakfast in a while, but it seemed fitting. "Finally, I got back to the Tower, and yes the box of donuts I picked up are a <em>little</em> smushed—" She pointed to the crumpled up box in the middle of the table amongst the other foods. "—but I earned them through sweat, tears, and blood so y'all better enjoy that shit."</p>
<p>Clint suddenly stood up and held his hand over Aj's head, "I'd like to propose a formal vote. I believe strongly that the title of '<em>Human Disaster'</em> pass from me to Aj. All those in favor?"</p>
<p>Bruce raised his hand, and Clint preened, but then he spoke, "How'd you get the double black eyes this time?"</p>
<p>"I…" Clint opened his mouth then mumbled something out.</p>
<p>Tony cupped his ear, "Say again, racoon eyes?"</p>
<p>"I ran into a parked car, okay?" Clint scoffed then sat down with a huff when the table vetoed his vote. He pointed around the table in mock annoyance, "This is straight up harassment! The stress of this workplace has put me into a <em>spiral of depression</em>."</p>
<p>"Depression?" Aj chimed in, "Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling '<em>bummed out'</em>?"</p>
<p>Clint slammed his hand on the table, shaking the silverware, "Aj, you <em>ignorant</em> slut!"</p>
<p>Steve grinned and lifted a finger from the hand that was resting on his chin, "I got that reference."</p>
<p>"Congratulations, old timer." Tony replied, "Now pass me the mushed donuts that Aj dueled a homeless man for."</p>
<p>Food was passed around the table alongside stories and discussions of what the day had in store for them. Steve still couldn't tear his eyes off Aj though. She was vibrant and glowing. Things weren't perfect, he wasn't fool enough to believe that, but the storm had passed. The skies were finally clear after weeks of nothing but gray and rain. He could see the blue of those pretty skies in the glow of her bright eyes. Aj glanced over at him, and when their eyes met she gave him a broad smile. The kind of smile that people fought wars over, the kind that people painted masterpieces for, the kind that Steve would whether a <em>million</em> storms just to see one more time.</p>
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<p>If there was ever a way to test a new employee it was trial by fire, right? I really hadn't meant to throw Beth to the wolves while I lost my absolute mind for two weeks, but she had really stepped up and taken care of the PR scene in my absence. I told her I'd give her another raise and she politely told me to stop giving her raises for her just doing her job. Was this how Tony felt all the time? Regardless, Beth did <em>amazing</em>. So amazing that me coming back to work was easy, smooth, and non-eventful.</p>
<p>"Thank you so much, Beth. I'm naming my first-born child after you."</p>
<p>"Please", Beth held out her hands with a laugh, "<em>Please</em> stop offering me outrageous gifts, I did the bare minimum of a PR specialist. Are you really feeling better?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "Much better."</p>
<p>It wasn't even a lie. When people say, '<em>Don't underestimate a good night's sleep'</em>, I didn't realize how accurate they were. I've been sleeping an average of 10-12 hours these nights and each morning I woke up feeling a little better. The key was Bucky. Our daily talks had moved to bedtime. We'd talk like usual, but now instead of hanging up I just fell asleep listening to him and woke up with no memories of a nightmare. He was like medicine.</p>
<p>"On the docket this week, Bruce has an interview but that's it, and it's low stress. He's gonna be talking about one of his papers with a few other scientists invited to the event." Beth said. I nodded in acknowledgement. Bruce had to be excited for that. "There's also a meeting set for today? I…I actually <em>just </em>noticed it. It's in an hour?"</p>
<p>"Oh. That's an Avenger thing. I have that handled." I said quickly.</p>
<p>Beth nodded, "Okay! I'm gonna work with Natasha and Clint today with their accounts. Do you want me to go with Bruce for the interview later this week?"</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to tell her it was fine, but then I hesitated. Suddenly, my coat pocket felt a little heavier even though it only had a bottle of fish oil pills in it. If things went according to my plan, there might be a chance I was out of work later this week. I had texted Daisy yesterday and she told me, depending on the ability, that inhumans were a little unstable after terrigenesis.</p>
<p>"Can you take him?"</p>
<p>"With pleasure! Let me know if you need me!" Beth chirped and bounced away.</p>
<p>Quickly, I made my way toward the stairs to get to the Conference Room. It was empty right now and would be for another hour. The Avengers meeting planned for today was on the topic of me becoming inhuman. I had set the meeting, I planned it all, and was I also going to blindside the Avengers with this decision? Absolutely, yes. This morning was either going to go super great or super terrible.</p>
<p>Regardless it'd be super <em>something</em>.</p>
<p>I sat down at the head of the table and shoved my hands into my coat pockets while leaning back in the seat. For two weeks, I let my nightmares grasp me in a way I never had before. I knew exactly why though. Never in my life had I had so much to lose. The idea of losing any of them put ice into my veins and that was a brand new concept to me. Living in the ring was easy when you only made superficial connections. Forming a family? It was a disaster in the making.</p>
<p>Now that I had a family though, like hell I was going to lose it. I had my moment of weakness, I hit the floor hard and it did take me a little longer than I liked to get back up, but now I was on my feet and the enemies who threatened my family were going to <em>burn</em>. I had done well enough with my own skill all these years, but I was on a new playing field now. I couldn't rely on my fists and reckless attitude alone anymore. I needed an edge, a weapon, and being inhuman could do that for me.</p>
<p>Plus, being inhuman also had the advantage of maybe repairing the gaping hole in the center of my soul. Lincoln said it himself, and then Daisy had confirmed it. All my life, maybe this was the reason I spent so many days spiraling. It was kind of nice to have something other than my emotional instability to blame. All those problems, all those <em>bad decisions</em>, it wasn't because I was a run of the mill screw-up, it was because I had a weird alien gene in my DNA screaming to be released.</p>
<p>Everyone loved a scapegoat.</p>
<p>So, that was the plan. I would become inhuman, get a, hopefully, kickass superpower, become an official agent of SHIELD, and then make Eugene and Vincent wish they were never fucking born. The times I was most dangerous in life were when I just got back up from being kicked down hard.</p>
<p>Well, those assholes were gonna regret ever kicking me down.</p>
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<p>Clint hated meetings. It was a well-known fact that he didn't attempt to hide. However, the fact that Aj was the one roping them into it and helping them through the schedule was enough to convince him to go. Seeing her back to work with life in her eyes was a breath of relief. He pushed the door open and swept into the room with his arms outstretched.</p>
<p>"I am here." He announced to Conference Room. Steve and Natasha were seated in their usual spots, and even Sam was here today since he was going to be doing some work with Steve later today. Aj was standing over in the corner of the room making herself a cup of coffee. Clint breezed over to his seat, "Please, hold your applause."</p>
<p>Sam lifted one finger up in question, "Do you <em>have</em> to talk? Like, if you don't say something when you enter a room, will you, I don't know, like <em>die</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>." Clint pointed at him then leaned back in his seat with his hands laced together on his abdomen.</p>
<p>"Give it a little more time, Sam." Steve spoke up. "You eventually pick up a tolerance to his bullshit."</p>
<p>"Language, Rogers. You owe the swear jar a dollar." Aj scolded while walking back to the table with her cup of coffee. The swear jar just being a large mug they made Captain America shove money into anytime he cursed. It had a sticky note with his shield crudely drawn on it. Clint was immensely proud of his work of art.</p>
<p>Steve rolled his eyes at her, but the soldier still had a smile pasted on his face. Clint wondered if Aj knew how wrapped around her finger Steve was. He was pretty sure the woman could murder someone in front of him and he would give her a slap on the wrist, if even that, then help her hide the body. Beth had taught him about an internet term. It was '<em>OTP'</em>, and the two of them were just that to him. He was hip with the youths. "Where is—"</p>
<p>Tony and Bruce stepped into the room. Tony held his hands up, "Bruce is the reason I'm late, I'm not at fault in any sort of way."</p>
<p>"He's just like Clint." Sam spoke up. "They just can't walk into a room, can they?"</p>
<p>Everyone shook their heads, even Bruce who only just now joined the conversation, and Tony scoffed in response, "How dare you compare me to bird brain, bird brain Jr."</p>
<p>Sam threw his hands up, "<em>I'm</em> bird brain <em>Jr</em>?"</p>
<p>"Well, I'm sure as hell not." Clint scoffed. "I'm bird brain Sr. I've <em>earned</em> that seniority."</p>
<p>"Yeah, after you've been thrown into a dumpster six or seven times then you can come and challenge him for the position." Tony replied and sat down in his seat.</p>
<p>Clint sat up in his seat, "Hey! I've only been thrown into four dumpsters total, Stark."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head once, "Sometimes I forget we are a team of professional heroes and it's because of conversations like this."</p>
<p>Clint glanced over to see Aj was leaning back in her seat with her phone out and held up. He narrowed her eyes at her, "Hey are you recording us?"</p>
<p>"No, I made a boomerang to post on my insta. I need to put in a little more work in since I was MIA for nearly two weeks." Aj replied without looking up from her phone. She was typing something on the screen and when she finished, she glanced up at him with a smirk, "Don't worry. Nobody will hear about your dumpster diving habits, Clint."</p>
<p>He scoffed, "I feel so attacked. All of you can pay for my therapy." Clint glanced down the table to Sam. "Unless you wanna help me out pro bono?"</p>
<p>"Sure. Just give me the title of bird brain Sr."</p>
<p>"Fucking <em>never</em>, Wilson."</p>
<p>Aj suddenly stood up after placing her phone on the table face down. All eyes shot over to her, and Clint noticed she was playing with the bracelets around her wrist. His eyes narrowed in worry, but Steve was the one to speak up, "So who are we meeting with here?"</p>
<p>"Um, me." Aj replied with a lopsided smile and nervous chuckle. "I need to talk to y'all about something."</p>
<p>"And we couldn't have had this conversation over breakfast this morning?" Tony asked.</p>
<p>"This isn't Aj talking to her friends." She replied nervously. "This is Aj talking to—to the <em>Avengers</em>. Not about PR business either. This is about…about our future."</p>
<p>Her words caught the prompt attention of everyone in the room. The joking air was gone as each person flipped the switch to '<em>Avengers'</em> mode. Steve, ever the leader, was the one to speak up next, "What is it, Aj?"</p>
<p>Aj hesitated. That was never a good sign. She tugged at the bracelet on her wrist a little more before burying her hand into her coat pocket. Then she yanked something out and slammed it onto the table. Clint's eyes landed on the bottle of fish oil pills and his gut twisted.</p>
<p><em>Oh</em>. Oh, this was <em>not</em> going to end well.</p>
<p>"Are you going to tell us to take our vitamins?" Tony questioned skeptically.</p>
<p>Aj furrowed her eyebrows at him in confusion before shaking her head, "No. These are the terrigenesis fish pills. I know you think I'm inhuman and want me to be an agent of SHIELD and I <em>think</em> I'm finally ready for both."</p>
<p>The silence that filled the room after her statement was palpable. He glanced over at Natasha who met his gaze with a quick look of exasperation. Oh, this was going to be <em>bad bad</em>. Finally, it was Bruce who managed to speak up.</p>
<p>"Uh, what?"</p>
<p>Natasha kicked him under the table and Clint shook his head at her. He broke the news to the Avengers last time they broke rule number 4. She could bite the bullet this time. She kicked him again, and he twisted his lips at her in annoyance.</p>
<p>"What the fuck do you know, Barton?" Tony snapped.</p>
<p>"Uh", Clint drawled out trying to buy time, "In general? Not much."</p>
<p>Aj cleared her throat and grabbed the attention back, "Listen, the cat is out of the bag now. No more hiding. When Coulson and his team were here, Daisy told me the truth. Y'all think I'm inhuman and can be an asset. I'll admit, I was a little upset at first. I don't like things being kept from me, even if it is supposedly for my own good, but I—I understand why it was. I'm ready now though. You've been training me for this—"</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?" Steve pressed.</p>
<p>This entire conversation was going to hell in a handbasket.</p>
<p>Natasha lifted her hand to stop the outcry and she looked to Aj with narrowed gaze, "What do you mean by training you for this?"</p>
<p>"Right now, I'm just a liability." Aj shrugged. "That's why after what happened with Vincent, you've been training me more. So, I can become the agent you wanted, and you wouldn't have to have missions interrupted by whatever shit I attract."</p>
<p>Now it was Clint's turn to be in shock. He blinked, "<em>What</em>?"</p>
<p>Aj pressed her lips together in annoyance and threw her hands out, "Okay, next person who says '<em>what' </em>is gonna get throat punched, and I have enough energy to follow through on that threat now."</p>
<p>Natasha suddenly stood up, an indication that it was her turn to talk and that she wouldn't be interrupted by the others, and set her hands flat on the table. She turned to look at Aj alone, "There's a lot here to unpack, but the first thing we will address is your last statement. <em>Aj</em>, do you think we only took you in to be an <em>agent</em>?"</p>
<p>Aj glanced around the room nervously and Clint felt his heart actually ache. <em>Jesus Christ</em>, if this entire time that's all she thought of them—that they were <em>using her</em> as a means to an end—he'd personally throw himself into a fucking dumpster and live there for the next year. She shrugged, "Yes and no? I know we're friends—"</p>
<p>"<em>Family</em>." Tony interrupted, his gaze unblinking.</p>
<p>Aj nodded slowly, "Family. I know that. But I figured…I thought that was just an added bonus? Like…" She crossed her arms tightly across her chest. "Like, you took me in because I could be an asset, but then I grew on you. Kind of like a… stray dog?" Natasha opened her mouth, gaze hardened, and Aj quickly threw her hands up to stop her. "I know we're family. I've <em>never</em> questioned that. It's why I didn't run that day I left with Daisy to the Playground!"</p>
<p>Bruce sighed and buried his head into his hands while everyone else had a very similar reaction. That statement was immediately put onto the agenda. Natasha took in a slow breath before speaking, "You thought about <em>running</em>?"</p>
<p>"Ok, in my defense, y'all know my reaction to literally <em>everything</em> is fight or flight and I wasn't about to <em>fucking fight the Avengers</em>." Aj scoffed. "But I didn't because I love y'all, and you wanting me to be an inhuman agent, or whatever, aligns with <em>my want</em> to protect you guys!"</p>
<p>Tony set a hand on his forehead and rested his elbow on the table with a faraway look, "Jesus H. Christ, it just keeps getting <em>worse</em>."</p>
<p>Aj pushed her lower lip out into a frustrated pout and Clint wilted at the sight. If he had known any of this, and damn it he should've seen it himself, he would've corrected all these wrong thoughts immediately. Sam lifted one hand and Natasha dropped down into her seat so he could stand. Sam cleared his throat, "Um, maybe I should mediate this for us? Should we order lunch or something, I feel like we're gonna be here a while." Aj opened her mouth, but Sam stopped her. "How about you take a seat, Aj?"</p>
<p>She sighed and fell into her seat with a dramatic roll of her eyes. Sam nodded and crossed his arms, "Conversation topics?"</p>
<p>"Aj thinking she needs to protect us." Steve chimed.</p>
<p>"Aj thinking we want her to be an agent?" Bruce questioned.</p>
<p>"Fish Pills. Sunshine thinking running is still an option." Tony counted off on his fingers. "Coulson and Daisy somehow knowing about this before we did, and—" Tony pointed straight at him and he quickly averted his gaze awkwardly, "—whatever the <em>hell</em> it is that Barton knows and <em>why</em> he knows it."</p>
<p>Aj shot her own hand up into the air, "Me becoming inhuman so I can murder Boss?"</p>
<p>Everyone stared at Aj for a shocked moment before whipping around to look back at Sam and chiming out various versions of, '<em>Put that on the fucking docket'</em>. Aj slumped into her seat again and Clint mimicked her action. They were going to be in this conference room for the next week and a half at this rate.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Admittedly, my plan was not going so hot. Unless my plan had been to simultaneously piss off every Avenger in which case <em>holy hell</em>, I succeeded with <em>flying</em> fucking colors.</p>
<p>"<em>Why</em> would you think we needed your protection? When have we <em>ever</em> said that?" Tony snapped across the table.</p>
<p>I squared my shoulders, "Y'all have been <em>training me</em> since I <em>got here</em>! What the <em>hell</em> else is that for?"</p>
<p>"You think that was to <em>protect us</em>?" Tony cried. Sam tried to reign him back in, but the barrel of gunpowder had been lit. I didn't argue often with anyone in this Tower, but no argument was hotter than one between Tony and me. We were much too alike. "We're the <em>fucking</em> Avengers, Aj! We want <em>you</em> to be able to protect <em>you</em>!"</p>
<p>"How do you think I survived the last decade, Tony? I <em>know</em> how to protect myself!"</p>
<p>"Yeah, you've done a <em>real</em> bang up job of that. Obviously."</p>
<p>"Fuck you, Stark!" I snapped after the dig he shot at me. Something I knew I'd probably regret later, but right now all I saw was red. "The <em>only</em> reason I wanna protect y'all is because I <em>fucking</em> care about your <em>idiot </em>ass!"</p>
<p>Sam slammed his hands into the table, "<em>Hey</em>! I'm the mediator and I'm telling both of you to shut the hell up!"</p>
<p>Tony and I both sunk in our seats and looked away from one another. Sam glanced at both of us before nodding, "Alright, we're starting with Coulson and Clint first."</p>
<p>"Are we sure that's a good idea?" Clint leaned forward with a scrunched up nose.</p>
<p>"Yes." Steve said firmly. "Start talking."</p>
<p>"So… to start, we <em>maybe</em> broke rule four." Clint mumbled and the entire tabled groaned. Breaking rule number four meant information was kept from the Avengers and since it was coming from Clint I assumed that meant both him and Natasha knew something nobody else did. I glanced around the room but kept quiet. It was Clint's turn to take a little fire. "Lemme start from the beginning."</p>
<p>Tony scoffed, "Yeah, that'd be great."</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>." Sam warned.</p>
<p>Clint nodded, "Ok, so Aj should've died in Russia." I flinched at the bluntness of his statement and I felt a chill of that cold, concrete bunker go down my spine. He was right, but hearing it like that was always kind of…jarring. "SHIELD made a folder on her and in that folder is her medical report and the video. Anyone who took a look at it saw that she <em>should've</em> died and <em>didn't</em>. This raised some questions. Questions like…"</p>
<p>"Is she inhuman?" Bruce finished with a sigh.</p>
<p>I blinked and sat up in my seat, "Whoa, whoa, wait. Y'all didn't know about the inhuman or SHIELD thing?"</p>
<p>"No. We didn't." Steve replied to me but didn't lift his glare from Clint.</p>
<p>"The agent thing is from, well, okay I was trying to get Aj a job—"</p>
<p>"And you picked <em>agent of SHIELD</em>?" Sam scoffed.</p>
<p>Clint narrowed his eyes at him, "Hey, mediator, cool it with the ninth degree." Sam rolled his eyes and Clint continued, "Yes, but this was very early on and the plan was cancelled basically as soon as it began, but some people at SHIELD still thought it was a good idea. They're…understaffed."</p>
<p>"So, because SHIELD is short on hands we should—" Tony began, but Natasha held up a hand to stoop him. He pressed his lips together in irritation.</p>
<p>Natasha nodded in thanks, "It was a bad idea, we know, and like Clint said we didn't consider for long. In fact, we've been stopping Hill and Coulson from approaching Aj with the option."</p>
<p>"Hey." I spoke up. "That isn't your decision to make for me."</p>
<p>"You're right, but that point aside, we never brought it up because it didn't seem relevant anymore." Natasha replied.</p>
<p>Bruce, who was leaned back in his seat with a hand over his mouth, chuckled without humor, "Seems a little relevant right now."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head and held out a hand, his eyebrows of disappointment on full display, and I was so glad he wasn't looking at me right now, "How many times do we have to go through this? We are a <em>team</em>. The two of you can't keep hiding this shit from us."</p>
<p>"You're right." Clint said suddenly and everyone seemed startled by his serious tone. He didn't even start with a quip. "If we had known Aj was gonna find it out second hand and think we looked at her as an asset and not someone we care about, we would've said it outright."</p>
<p>I swallowed a lump in my throat and Clint turned to look directly at me. He leaned forward on the table, "Aj, <em>listen to me</em>, we love you. I don't know if we've ever said it blatantly like that, maybe we just tossed it around, but we <em>love</em> you." My throat felt like it was filled with thick glue. "You're <em>family</em>. We trained you, even harder after the Vincent incident, because we are <em>terrified</em> of losing you."</p>
<p>Clint's gaze didn't waver from mine and I shifted awkwardly in my seat. He just kept going though, "I worry about Tasha when she's out on a mission, I worry about Steve when he—he jumps from a fucking plane without a chute, I worry about this team. All the damn time. Every <em>damn</em> day. But, Tasha is an ex-KGB agent and went through the Red Room to become the Black Widow. Steve is a super soldier. Tony has a metal suit of armor around him. Bruce has the hulk. Sam was trained military." He shook his head. "When I worry about you though, when <em>we</em> worry about you, it's because we've seen first-hand how terrible this world is and what it does to people who try to stand in its way. You're in that spotlight now just by being around us and Aj—" Clint let out another humorless laugh, "Aj, you're an amazing fighter. You're strong and stubborn and brave, but you <em>aren't</em> an Avenger."</p>
<p>"That's why we've pushed you so hard." Natasha added softly.</p>
<p>I bit down on my lip and glanced down into my lap. This entire time I knew they cared. I never doubted that. I was just convinced that it was a kill two birds with one stone kind of situation. It never occurred to me that they were only doing it for my sake and my sake alone. With furrowed brow, I leaned onto the table in confusion. Looking at it now… it was <em>so</em> obvious. It was <em>so fucking obvious</em>, but my broken brain couldn't see it. They gave me <em>everything</em> and I could only offer them my own messed up version of love.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry." I mumbled in embarrassment. "I don't know… I don't know why I doubted y'all and I'm <em>sorry</em>."</p>
<p>Sam called out my name once… twice… and on the third time I finally lifted my gaze to look at him. He gave me a small reassuring smile, "You don't owe anyone an apology. In this situation you had <em>every</em> reason to doubt us. The evidence was at your feet and we never clarified." Sam bobbed his head once. "We're not those foster parents. We're not your dad. We're not your sister. We aren't going anywhere."</p>
<p>I glanced around the room and despite the tense atmosphere before everyone offered me a small smile. My eyes met Tony and he gave me a nod. I sighed and grabbed the fish oil pills, "Thanks guys. Maybe when I take a pill my superpower will be mental health."</p>
<p>"Somebody stab me." Tony groaned. "Put me out of my misery."</p>
<p>Sam chuckled, "Yeah, let's circle back to that."</p>
<p>"Remember, how we've mentioned the surge of inhumans?" Natasha said. "It's because of that."</p>
<p>Clint and Natasha quickly caught them up on information that Daisy had already told me. When it got to the end, Steve motioned to the bottle, "So, if Aj takes a pill she'll either become inhuman or…?"</p>
<p>"Or nothing." Natasha shrugged. "Nothing would happen."</p>
<p>"The whole killing normal humans thing got weeded out in the pill making process, I hear." Clint said.</p>
<p>"And, you want that, Aj? To be inhuman?" Bruce questioned.</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to answer, but Steve cut me off, "Do you actually want to be inhuman or is this just a reaction to Eugene?" All eyes shot to me, and I twisted my lips in thought. Steve added, "Because we have that handled. We're closing in on him and we will take care of it."</p>
<p>"Y<em>—You are</em>?" My eyes widened.</p>
<p>Natasha nodded in confirmation, "He left New York." I blinked in surprise. That didn't sound right. That didn't sound like Boss. She continued, "Last we saw him, he was going to Vegas. We assume it's to find his brother."</p>
<p>Again, that didn't sound right. Boss and the Reaper were not friends. Half-brothers, yeah, but in all the time I had known Boss he had never even mentioned Vincent. The only reason I knew of him was through rumors. Rumors and him showing up to kidnap me, that is.</p>
<p>"Now, take him out of the equation." Steve said. "Do you still want to be inhuman?"</p>
<p>I pressed my lips together briefly, "If I say yes, will you let me?"</p>
<p>"Like you said before", Sam called out, like he was announcing it to the room, "This is your decision to make. It's your job to make the call and it's our job to support you."</p>
<p>All eyes were on me again, but this time it was less shock and more contemplation. I grabbed the bottle of pills and rolled it around in my hands. Finally, I gave them a small nod. I shrugged, "I promise it isn't just about Boss. I <em>do</em> want this."</p>
<p>"Alright." Clint stood and walked around to me. He took the bottle and shook out a hand full. He picked one up and set it onto the table in front of me, and then he tossed one into his mouth and dry swallowed it. The entire room exploded in panic, but they paused to see what would happen. Clint stood there for a few seconds, completely normal, then he shrugged, "They're officially safe."</p>
<p>Natasha kicked him in the back of his leg and he nearly crumpled to the ground, "What the <em>hell</em> was that?"</p>
<p>"I wanted to make sure they weren't deadly to non-inhumans." Clint shrugged. "Also, I was kind of curious if I had alien genes."</p>
<p>"Idiot, you have an alien brain." Tony scoffed.</p>
<p>I picked up the small pale yellow pill and just stared at it. Steve's voice made me glance up at him, "Aj—" He nodded once. "—whatever happens, we're right here."</p>
<p>"Bottoms up, huh?" I chuckled and tossed it into my mouth before letting my mind overthink my actions. Being impulsive sometimes was helpful. I grabbed my cup pf coffee and took a big sip to wash down the pill. Then I waited. And I waited. And I waited. The room was silent, and I tasted bitter disappointment in my mouth. "Oh…"</p>
<p>"Maybe it's a delayed reaction?" Clint questioned.</p>
<p>It wasn't though. Daisy told me it happened quick or it didn't happen at all. I wasn't inhuman. I didn't have alien genes. The hole in my chest, the void in my soul, that shit was just me. Just little broken me.</p>
<p>"Aj?"</p>
<p>I snapped out my daze and realized everyone was staring. Somehow, I had managed to go from shock to contemplation to downright worry. Why was it we always ended up on worry? I gave them a big grin and forced out a laugh, "Guess this means we don't have to invest in my superhero tights."</p>
<p>"Aj—" Steve began.</p>
<p>I shoved myself up from the chair and swallowed the lump in my throat, "So… I am about to dramatically rush out of this room. Which, I know is gonna look real sketchy, but I promise all of you… <em>I am okay</em>." They all continued to stare, and I awkwardly snapped my fingers and shot them a pair of finger guns, "Cue dramatic exit."</p>
<p>Quickly, avoiding all of their gazes, I shuffled out of the conference room. Instinct told me to run to my apartment, but that poor apartment had seen a lot of mental breakdowns since I moved in. Maybe I'd give it a break. Instead, I turned and walked out onto the Tower's deck. The air was cold all the way up here and my fuzzy socks did very little walking across the deck's glossy tile. I wandered to stand in the open area where a few benches were.</p>
<p>There was something about being this high up that was intoxicating. It was easier to ignore that aching void when the void in front of me was so much more vast and cold. Becoming inhuman was supposed to save me. It was supposed to stitch together all my holes and make me a complete person. Daisy told me about how finding her ability helped her find herself. How was I supposed to protect my family and fight Boss if I couldn't even find myself?</p>
<p>"Hey, drama queen." I glanced over my side to see Tony walk over to me. He shrugged out of his jacket and threw it over my shoulders. He leaned against the railing beside me, "I was kind of an ass earlier."</p>
<p>I gave him a small smile, "It's okay. I'm used to it."</p>
<p>Tony chuckled with a shake of his head, "That was actually the part where you also apologize."</p>
<p>"You apologized?" I replied. Tony grinned and we both settled into a comfortable silence. Anytime we did fight, this is usually how it ended. Granted, this had been probably our biggest fight, but it was comforting that it ended the same way. I laced my fingers together and kept my gaze on the skyline, "Tony, I'm empty inside."</p>
<p>"Somehow I seriously doubt that."</p>
<p>"No, it's true." I shrugged nonchalantly. "Just a big, gaping void. A black hole where my heart should be." Tony laughed, and I spun my head around to glare at him. "I am <em>baring</em> my soul here, man. My empty, cold soul."</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "Do you really think I'd give the nickname '<em>Sunshine'</em> to someone with a cold, empty soul?" I rolled my eyes, but he continued. "The big, <em>hypothetical</em> hole in the center of your chest, is that why you wanted to be inhuman so bad?"</p>
<p>"Yeah." I admitted. "Daisy and Lincoln said that they had this hole in their life that they tried to fill with hacking or alcohol but—but <em>nothing</em> worked. Not until they became inhuman. It was their missing piece."</p>
<p>Tony reached out and set his hand on my shoulder where it met my neck and gave it a quick squeeze, "Aj, I don't know if you've noticed, but your life is kind of a mess right now."</p>
<p>"Wow. Thank you. I hadn't noticed." I replied with a small smile.</p>
<p>"You are the warmest person I've ever met. It <em>radiates</em> off of you." Tony said firmly. "Sunshine, I know you feel lost and maybe you've felt lost for a while now. Maybe your whole life." I didn't reply. "But in the time I've known you, you've come <em>so</em> far. I think you're gonna keep healing, keep getting better, and one day in the future that void is gonna be gone."</p>
<p>I raised an eyebrow at him, "That could be a very, <em>very</em> long time."</p>
<p>"It could be."</p>
<p>"Literally, years."</p>
<p>"Yeah, maybe."</p>
<p>I turned my body to face his, "You really think I could make it that long. That I'll ever be healed enough not to feel like this."</p>
<p>"Sunshine", Tony gave me a firm smile, confidence written all over his face, "I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life."</p>
<p>I chuckled and stepped toward him. Tony didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me while I buried my face into his chest. Maybe he was right. As terrible as that void felt in the center of my chest, it wasn't so bad when I was hugging Tony. It wasn't so bad when Clint was telling me one of his dumbass jokes, or when Sam came to visit and spar with me, or when Natasha tried teaching me to knit, or when Bruce let me help him in the lab. The void was less painful and more of just an annoying ache when Steve let me curl into him on the couch or when Bucky's warm voice wrapped me up into a safe bubble. I had never been a patient person, but maybe that's what it would take. Just a little patience. A little faith.</p>
<p>"Now, come on. I'm taking you out for lunch." Tony pulled back and dragged me toward the door, "Anything you want. I owe you for being an ass."</p>
<p>"I wanna go to that expensive place that gives you the adult looking lunchable instead of bread while you wait for your food."</p>
<p>"Okay, it's a <em>charcuterie board</em> not a fucking <em>lunchable</em>, and good choice."</p>
<p>"But I'm paying!" I said with a knowing smirk.</p>
<p>Tony frowned with a scoff, "Oh come on, the punishment does not fit the crime here."</p>
<p>I grabbed his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders, "Nope. It's on me."</p>
<p>He continued to complain, but I just melted into his side. Plan A in getting rid of Boss had failed, spectacularly might I add, but I had no shortage of plans or letters to name them after. I might not be inhuman. I might just be a slowly healing, broken little human. But, I wasn't going to let Boss take away what I had and I wasn't going to miss out on loving them by living in fear. That's exactly what the jackass would want, and I was done giving him what he wanted.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The two floors beneath the training gym were combined to create one large space where the Avengers could practice in a more hands-on kind of way. Team moves would be tried out here and Tony had a never-ending stream of fighting drones for them to use to their advantage. The drones were really just prototypes of his Iron Legion that hadn't worked out, but target practice was target practice.</p>
<p>Steve was watching as Clint and Sam took turns throwing his shield into random drones. He liked the idea of everyone on his team knowing how to use the shield just in case a situation arose where they needed it. Steve wanted them to know how much weight they needed to get it to go where it had to go. He wanted them to know where to hold it in order to cover the most vital parts of themselves. He wanted them to know what it felt like when something was fired against it.</p>
<p>Steve always figured if Bucky had known what the blowback felt like when the shield was fired upon, if he had <em>known</em> how far it could throw you, then maybe the train incident wouldn't have happened. So now, he was going to make sure every single one of his teammates knew <em>exactly</em> what happened under every scenario that could happen with the shield. It was something he always took very seriously, but today he was having trouble keeping his eyes on his team and away from the woman who sat against the wall off to the side reading a book Bruce had given her.</p>
<p>This floor had been off limits to Aj until recently. It wasn't that they didn't trust her, but there was no need for her to be down here at all. With Boss on the loose though, with her nightmares and their worry, it just made sense to let her come down here so someone always had an eye on her. Was it overprotective? Yes. Was it excessive? Yes. Did Steve give a single damn? <em>Absolutely not</em>.</p>
<p>She had her legs stretched out in front of her and crossed at the ankles as she read. Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy bun that was already falling apart. Aj had also swapped her clothes out for something more comfortable to wear around the Tower. Black spandex shorts, Iron Man themed fuzzy socks, and a sweater he knew she had stolen out of his closet. Steve wouldn't ever voice it aloud, Clint would never let him live it down, but he <em>really</em> liked the way his much larger clothes fit over her smaller body.</p>
<p>"Hey!"</p>
<p>Steve's gaze snapped back just in time to see his own shield flying toward him. He caught the edges before it slammed into his abdomen and the force of it slid him back about a foot. He lifted a glare up to Clint who was grinning at him sheepishly. Sam stood beside him pointing at his fellow bird.</p>
<p>"Drone's the other way, Barton. I thought you never missed." Steve scoffed and began to cross the room over to them.</p>
<p>Clint smirked, "Oh, I didn't miss. You weren't paying me the attention I craved so I lashed out." He motioned toward Sam with a thumb. "The therapist says my coping mechanism is acting out so the people around me show me love."</p>
<p>"No, I said you were a <em>jackass</em>." Sam corrected.</p>
<p>Steve slid the shield over his forearm and stopped in front of them, "Are you done, or did you need me?"</p>
<p>"I think we did pretty good—" Sam shrugged, and Steve glanced over his shoulder to see the mess of drone parts across the room. "—but if you can take a break from creepily staring at Aj to give us some more pointers that would be cool."</p>
<p>Clint nodded in agreement and Steve tried to ignore the warmth he felt in his cheeks, "I wasn't staring—"</p>
<p>"Do you plan on asking her out anytime soon?" Clint scoffed. "Because you're killing me, man."</p>
<p>"Well, Nat would kill me if I <em>did</em> ask her out." Steve replied. "So, I guess you'll have to suffer."</p>
<p>Sam held his hands out, "Right. I'm not arguing that—"</p>
<p>"<em>I'm</em> arguing that." Clint cut in, but both men ignored him.</p>
<p>"I just want to know…" Sam crossed his arms and nodded his head to the side toward where Aj was still reading, "If there were no obstacles in the way of this, would you be able to make a move?" Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and Sam continued. "The last date you went on, that I know of, was Sharon. Right?"</p>
<p>Steve nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. After the whole HYDRA in SHIELD thing, he told Natasha he'd give her a chance. It seemed like a good idea. Steve was attracted to her, she was an agent so she understood the life, and they got along well enough. The relationship hadn't lasted very long. In fact, they both decided to call it quits a couple of weeks before he met Aj.</p>
<p>"It's hard to start dating again, Steve, and it's gonna be harder for you and her because, no offense, but both of you are repressed as shit." Sam said. "Have you talked to Aj about anything romantic?"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "Of course not. You said it yourself, I'm her friend first and—"</p>
<p>"No, no. Not about the two of you specifically." Sam shook his head. "I meant, about the topic in general. Have you asked her about her romantic history?" Steve blinked in thought. "Have you talked to her about Peggy?"</p>
<p>Steve stiffened. He hadn't. He told Peggy about Aj. Nothing in detail, but he'd mention her anytime he went to visit Peggy. It was just a weird conversation to have. Steve loved Peggy. That would never change. She was special to him. Had been? Still was? Obviously, the feelings had been forced to change. Peggy had lived her life out. She had fallen in love again, gotten married, and had a family. Every time he went to visit, she would emphasize that she wanted him to move on. To find love again like she had. Peggy always told him that him moving forward with his life, finding someone else to love, would never be an insult to what they had. She just wanted him to be happy. She wanted him to be able to find what she had again.</p>
<p>And Aj brought forth feelings he hadn't felt since the 40's. He wasn't in love with her, not in that sense, but he knew he could be. He could be <em>very</em> easily. Meeting her hadn't been like meeting Peggy. The moment he met Peggy a part of him had just <em>known</em>. It wasn't like that with Aj. With Aj, it had been slower, but considering he thought he'd never feel anything like that again it was a <em>monumental</em> change.</p>
<p>The point was this, Sam was right. Aj wasn't the only one mentally trying to figure herself out. Steve had a lot to work through too.</p>
<p>"Well, I'll take that long pause as a no to telling her about Peggy." Clint whistled. He suddenly turned and walked away from them. Steve reached out to grab him, but just barely missed. The archer swaggered over to Aj and dropped down into the spot beside her.</p>
<p>Steve forced himself to look back at Sam, "Am I allowed to kick his ass?"</p>
<p>"I can't name anyone who would try and stop you." Sam shrugged with a grin. Steve mentally reminded himself that losing the archer in the middle of trying to hunt down Von Strucker and the scepter would be very, very bad and that he shouldn't throw his shield at the idiot right now. Sam clapped him on his arm, "Aj is now walking over here alone though so imma bounce."</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>Sam ignored him and jogged off. He heard his traitor of a friend greet Aj briefly. He turned to see Aj had reached him with swinging arms and a friendly smile. Steve cleared his throat and nodded at her, "Hey, how are you feeling?"</p>
<p>"Do you mean how I'm feeling in the process of recovering from my two weeks of nightmares from hell or how I'm feeling about finding out that my '<em>quick fix'</em> solution of becoming inhuman failed dramatically?" Aj asked with a slight tilt of her head. The amused smile on her lips was real and not just a fake one to try and stop worry. The smile reached her eyes. Steve could see the warmth in the vast blue and it was all he needed to see to feel comfort.</p>
<p>Steve couldn't help his own smile that came to his face, "How about in general?"</p>
<p>"I'm peachy keen, Captain Rogers." She replied and reached out to grab his free hand. Aj tangled her fingers with his casually. It was almost comical how far she had come when it came to human contact. Aj used to avoid contact like the devil. She'd pull herself in close wherever she sat and when they passed her around the Tower she'd subconsciously lean away. Now, Aj sought out contact whenever she could. Whether it be leaning into someone or tangling her own limbs with theirs, it was like she was trying to make up for all the touch she had missed out on over the years. Steve wasn't even sure if she was fully aware of how cuddly she had become. "How come the birds abandoned you?"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "Don't know, but I do know your company is <em>far</em> more preferable."</p>
<p>Aj clicked her tongue then knocked her knuckles against his shield, "You charmer." Steve slid the shield off and flipped it around toward her. Her pretty eyes widened in surprise, "You're kidding."</p>
<p>"Do you think you have what it takes to pick up the mantle of—"</p>
<p>"<em>Yes</em>!" Aj interrupted and pulled the straps onto her arm. Steve reached forward, just to help her tighten it, then stepped back so she could hold it on her own. Aj moved her arm a little, "It's actually lighter than I thought it would be."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "Usually people say the opposite. How heavy did you think it was gonna be?"</p>
<p>"I don't know, <em>Steven</em>." Aj said firmly. She straightened her posture and lifted her chin a fraction while putting her other hand on her hip. "Do I look patriotic?"</p>
<p>She looked adorable. And happy. God, he was so glad she was happy again. Steve stepped toward her and set his hands on the shield. He raised an eyebrow at her, "Wanna learn how to throw it?"</p>
<p>Aj's smile widened and she bobbed her head up and down in excitement. Steve chuckled and told JARVIS to reset the drones. For the next half hour, he walked her through the motions of throwing the shield and showed her the angles she needed to know in order to get it to come back. Not that he expected her to be able to do that. Sam was the only one so far who was close to getting the shield to get back to him.</p>
<p>After the first ten minutes, Aj had peeled off his sweater leaving her in her spandex shorts and a dark blue sports bra. It was a racer back, so he could still see the shape of her shoulders, but it was long enough to cover her scars. All of her sports bras were. As Steve helped Aj throw the shield on her own he tried not to let his hands linger on her skin for too long, but there was a lot of skin there for him to touch. He was a red-blooded man and nothing reminded him faster of that than being around Aj.</p>
<p>Aj was always confident in her skin. At least, that's how it appeared. She never seemed to blink or hesitate when it came to being half undressed in the training gym with them. Not that her outfits could be considered a state of undress. It was just what she wore to work out in after all. Steve asked her about it once. Well, more accurately, very early on in their friendship he awkwardly offered her his shirt after working out while keeping his gaze anywhere but on her. She had just laughed. According to her, she spent most of the last five years in only a sports bra and shorts in front of a bloodthirsty, leering crowd. Steve wasn't quite sure he liked that answer. He didn't like the idea of some sleezy guy ogling her as she fought. On that note, he reminded himself to focus on her shield throwing form and not on her very soft skin.</p>
<p>"My hands are too small for this." Aj complained and tried to get a grip on the shield. The weight of it didn't bother her so much, but the only way she could put any force behind the throw was by holding the shield with both hands. "How do you do this so easily?"</p>
<p>Steve smirked then in one swift movement he grabbed the opposite edge of the shield where she was holding it, with one hand, then snatched it away from her to immediately throw it into a drone a few yards away. It was one of Tony's bulkier drones so the shield dented it's chest plate and then bounced back to him. Steve caught it with ease then glanced back at Aj to see a look of awe on her face. It was probably a little sad how much he felt his pride inflate at that look.</p>
<p>"You're a <em>show off</em>." Aj pointed at him.</p>
<p>"That doesn't sound like me." Steve shook his head and offered her the shield back.</p>
<p>Aj took it back in her hands and bit down on her lower lip in focus. She had managed to throw it a few times, but anytime she got a good amount of force behind it the aim had been off. Mostly because the only way she could throw it was by spinning her entire body around.</p>
<p>She tested the weight in her hand, wound up her entire body, and then with a grunt and running start she whipped her arms around to release the shield. Steve realized her aim was going to be spot on seconds before it slammed into the drone. He also recognized the angle it would hit the robot with only seconds to spare. Steve wasn't in the position to catch the shield, but he was in the perfect position to tackle Aj to the side. They both went down, Aj with an audible '<em>oof'</em>, just as the shield rebounded straight back to where she had been standing.</p>
<p>"Despite nearly killing yourself, I'm actually super impressed." Steve chuckled while staring at where his shield had landed. "Sam can catch it, but he can't get it to come straight back to…"</p>
<p>Steve's words slowed to a stop when he glanced down. He had landed on one elbow with the other wrapped around Aj to keep her from hitting the floor with any force. It reminded him a lot of the time they rolled off the couch together that one morning. Except this time, the roles were reversed. Steve had been laughing, cracking a joke, while Aj just stared up at him with some level of shock. His own smile faltered slightly. This was a compromising position, and Steve was entirely aware of how easy it would be to just lower his body just a couple of inches and press his lips against her own slightly parted ones.</p>
<p>He <em>couldn't</em>. He <em>shouldn't</em>.</p>
<p>Steve wanted Aj to heal without any distractions more than he wanted to kiss her, and <em>Jesus Christ that was a lot</em>. The dilemma he also found himself at war with was the timing of it all. He was the world's leading authority on waiting <em>too fucking long</em>. Steve couldn't count the number of times he kicked himself for how long it took him to kiss Peggy. He never got that dance with her because he didn't have the guts to make a move. Steve's biggest fear was repeating his past mistake. He just barely survived making that mistake with Peggy. Steve wasn't sure he'd survive making that same mistake again.</p>
<p>"We should… We should get up." Aj said softly.</p>
<p>"Yeah." Steve agreed, but didn't move. Aj lifted a hand to his chest, and he expected her to push him up and away, but it never happened. Her palm just pressed against him and Steve wondered if she could feel how hard his heart was beating. She could probably hear it in the quiet of this room. That's all <em>he</em> could hear.</p>
<p>"Steve?" She whispered.</p>
<p>He wouldn't be late this time. He <em>couldn't</em>.</p>
<p>Steve shifted the hand under her, to cup the back of her neck, and closed the space between them. Aj's lips were soft and warm, and he did nothing more than lightly press his own against hers before pulling back an inch. Her only reaction was to suck in a sharp breath of surprise. Worry and regret hit him hard. He had crossed a line. Steve opened his mouth to voice his apology, but Aj's hand tightened around his shirt and pulled him back down.</p>
<p>It was like the striking of a match.</p>
<p>Suddenly, his entire body was pressed down against hers, but based on the way she tangled her hand into the back of his hair it didn't bother her. Steve had thought about kissing Aj a number of times. In fact, he'd thought of it more times than he'd like to admit, but he never imagined how absolutely overtaken he'd feel by every touch. The way his heart hammered when she bit down and sucked on his lower lip. The way his hunger for her grew when she shifted the hand on his chest up and under his shirt. The way her nails lightly dug into his skin when his tongue slipped past her swollen lips.</p>
<p>Steve was creative, but he never could've imagined the absolutely sinful whimpers that would spill from Aj's lips when he pressed his lips against the hollow of her throat.</p>
<p>She trailed both hands back around his jawline to drag his lips back up to hers. Steve sighed in content when he felt the tip of her tongue trace his lower lip. Aj's hips pressed into his and he barely even noticed when she rolled them over. Steve was still in a daze, reeling from the way her soft skin felt in his hands, when Aj pulled away from his lips. Her name slipped from his lips, a breathless prayer, as she leaned back in to press soft kisses over his jawline, at his earlobe, then down the length of his neck.</p>
<p>"Steve." She said softly against his chest. He dug his fingers into her hips. "Steve." Aj sat up, still straddling him, and as her hands trailed down his chest he pulled her own hips down on top of his. "<em>Steve</em>?" Aj's hands fisted around his shirt and she shook him. "<em>Steve</em>!"</p>
<p>"What?" He breathed in confusion.</p>
<p>"<em>Steve</em>!" She yelled at him this time.</p>
<p>Aj shook him one more time and suddenly the side of his head began to throb painfully. Steve flinched and shut his eyes, trying to chase the pain away. He heard his name called out again, more distant this time, and when his eyes re-opened he was staring up at wide, worried blue ones.</p>
<p>Wait.</p>
<p>Wait.</p>
<p>What was happening??</p>
<p>Steve was on his back still, but Aj was kneeling beside him rather than being on top of him. Her hands were balled up into his shirt. She lifted a hand to rest on his cheek, "<em>Oh my God, </em>I thought I <em>killed</em> you!"</p>
<p>"What—What the hell happened?" Steve sat up quickly but immediately regretted his actions. Pain washed over him and he flinched again at the throbbing. His hand lifted to hold the left side of his skull. The skin was sensitive where he touched.</p>
<p>Aj pulled his hand away to look herself, "The shield came back and you tried to catch it but I think I got in the way or something— I—I don't know, but the flat side of the shield flipped up and caught you in the side of the head. <em>Hard</em>." She turned his head slowly and grimaced. "You went down like a sack of potatoes and then hit your head on the ground. <em>God</em>. I almost killed America's favorite hero."</p>
<p>Steve didn't remember trying to catch the shield. All he remembered was tackling Aj and then…then… Steve felt his face grow hot despite his massive headache. He was incredibly happy that he had never changed into gym shorts and instead chose to stay in his jeans. Aj cupped his face again and it helped nothing. He pulled out of her reach.</p>
<p>"I'm fine. Are—<em>Are you okay</em>?" Steve asked.</p>
<p>"I'm not the one who just got knocked out!" Aj retorted. Her gaze lifted to look past him on something else. "<em>Finally</em>!"</p>
<p>Steve turned with a flinch to see Sam, Clint, and Bruce jogging over. Bruce knelt down beside him, in medic mode, while Clint pulled Aj up to her feet. Sam glanced at the two of them, "What the hell happened?"</p>
<p>"I threw the shield and it bounced back." Aj explained. Clint knelt down to pick up the sweater she had been wearing to hand to her. She grabbed it and just clutched it to her chest. "Steve tried to catch it, but I was in the way. He managed to push me down and get—get a hand on it, but it flipped over and hit him."</p>
<p>Clint snorted in laughter and Aj immediately spun to punch him in the gut. He doubled over still laughing.</p>
<p>"It isn't funny!" Aj cried. "I could've killed him!"</p>
<p>"Hardly." Sam replied with a smirk of his own. If Steve's head wasn't killing him he'd get up to murder the birds.</p>
<p>Bruce asked him to follow his finger and after rolling his eyes he did. After doing that for a moment, Bruce chuckled and stood up, "I think he'll live." The doctor turned to give Aj a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. Steve's known for his hard head."</p>
<p>"I think I felt better when you three weren't here." Steve mumbled and rubbed at his eyes. He was still trying to shake his dream— <em>Hallucination</em>? — whatever the hell it was, out of his head.</p>
<p>"JARVIS play back on the incident." Clint called out.</p>
<p>Steve opened his eyes in time to see the security feed get pulled up. Just like Aj had said, the shield came careening back to them and he stupidly tried to catch it from an angle. Pain induced hallucination him had done so much better in that incident. Steve had gotten a hand on the shield while also shoving Aj down, but his grip hadn't been good enough and the flat portion of it swung up and slammed into his temple. He supposed he was lucky it hadn't been the edge to catch him in the skull.</p>
<p>"Yeah, go ahead and send that to Tony <em>immediately</em>." Clint grinned.</p>
<p>"Fuck off, Barton." Steve grumbled.</p>
<p>Aj pulled her sweater on, which helped him greatly, and knelt back down, "Steve, seriously, I am <em>so </em>sorry." Her eyebrows were furrowed in concern and her lips turned down into an unhappy frown. "I—"</p>
<p>"It wasn't your fault." Steve gave her a tight lipped smile. "If you wanna help you can maybe grab me an ice pack? And try to keep Tony from seeing the video?"</p>
<p>"I can definitely accomplish the first part of that." Aj replied and jumped up.</p>
<p>She ran to the elevator and the moment she was gone all three men standing around him turned to stare. Steve suddenly wished he was still unconscious. Bruce cleared his throat while Clint and Sam just smirked at him, "So, with your super healing I'm sure the concussion will be gone by dinner. Do you want to talk about—"</p>
<p>"<em>Nope</em>." Steve replied and rubbed the back of his head with his hand. He did not want to talk about what had just happened. Bruce gave him an amused smile before leaving too. Steve wished he had taken the other two with him, but they stayed and stared. "Don't start—"</p>
<p>"You know, there are easier ways to avoid talking about your romantic history with Aj." Clint said with a smirk while Sam snickered from beside him. "I think anything would be better than getting knocked out by your own shield."</p>
<p>Steve pressed his lips together and tried not to think about how they had felt pressed against Aj's. Not that they had ever actually been pressed against hers. He groaned and rubbed at his face again. As embarrassing as the security video was, at least it didn't show his concussed brain's thoughts. Steve would never live that down. As his friends mocked him, Steve rubbed at his still throbbing temple and wondered how much more complicated that imaginary scenario was going to make things for him.</p>
<p>He was fucked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. There Are No Strings On Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: This one is longer than all the others!! It's a big chapter, but we're finally in AOU, y'all! Thanks to those who commented last chapter! I'd love to hear from you guys again about this chapter!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><hr/><p>                                                         </p><hr/><p>
  <em>"What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"A man like Ringo has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What does he need?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Revenge."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"For what?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bein' born."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—Wyatt Earp &amp; Doc Holliday (Tombstone)</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>February had ended kind of nonchalantly. Granted, maybe the end just felt nonchalant because the first half of it had been so eventful. The first two weeks consisted of nightmares and me nearly killing Steve with his own shield, but the last two were a collection of things settling into place.</p><p>Things on the PR scene were going great. Everyone loved the Avengers. Mostly. They were loved enough that Beth and I's job was made almost too easy at the least. Boss had been quiet. A part of me expected him to show up in my life, I think I still looked around corners for him, but he hadn't made a sound. That was almost scarier. I'd be worried except Clint told me Coulson had a team tracking the asshole down. Daisy had felt really bad about me not being inhuman so I think she thought she could make it up to me by finding Boss. Not that she owed me anything. It wasn't her fault I was just a dumb little human with no cool, kickass alien genes.</p><p>The best thing to come out of February was that the Avengers had whittled down their list of HYDRA bases even further. They still kept me mostly in the dark about certain mission details, but from what I understood the mission they were on today was very, very important. Important enough for Thor to be on Earth. Important enough that it could be their last HYDRA base busting mission.</p><p>"You know I <em>really</em> don't need a babysitter anymore." I said with a shake of my head.</p><p>Sam, who sat across from me in a jean jacket, chuckled, "Tell that to the Avengers."</p><p>"Coulson says the agents following Boss are right on his tail. He's left Vegas and is heading to some place in California. Which last I checked is super far from here?"</p><p>"Yeah, do you know why he'd do that? Go to California, I mean. He know someone out there?"</p><p>I shrugged. Truthfully, I had no idea. The only things I really learned about Boss while I had worked for him was that he was a greedy asshole, a masochistic devil, and that for some reason he really loved specifically torturing me. I was his own personal brand of heroin, but not in a creepy vampire teenage romance book way.</p><p>"Maybe he wants to be a movie star." I joked. The idea of Boss going out west and ignoring me for the rest of my life didn't sound right, but Coulson seemed sure. I took another bite of my sandwich and after chewing and swallowing it, I spoke up, "Have you heard from any of them?"</p><p>Sam shook his head, "Nah, not since they went dark. We'll probably hear from them in the next few hours though." I nodded and went back to my food. He leaned forward in his seat suddenly with a grin, "Good news though."</p><p>"Oh yeah, what's that?" I asked with food tucked into my cheek.</p><p>"I think I may have found Bucky."</p><p>I immediately sucked the food in my mouth down my throat. Sam's eyes widened as I choked on my meal. He pushed my glass of water closer to me and I threw some back in hopes to clear out my throat. <em>Sam fucking what?</em></p><p>"Wh—What?" I coughed.</p><p>"I think I have a lead on Bucky." Sam nodded with a smile. "It's not much, but it's more than we've had. I'm waiting to hear back from some sources that Nat knows."</p><p>There was something uncomfortable about Sam saying he was close to finding Bucky when I had just sent the missing man a text twenty minutes ago. In fact, I still talked to him every single night until I passed out. We never missed a day. Panic surged through me. Do I warn Bucky about this? My first instinct was to do just that, but realistically… isn't this a good thing? We want him to come back to New York after all. That was the goal.</p><p>"Aj?"</p><p>I snapped my gaze up to Sam who looked confused, "Huh?"</p><p>"You good?" He questioned.</p><p>Quickly, I pasted a forced grin on my face, "Everything is great."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sokovia was a gorgeous area. A little in the middle of nowhere, Tony didn't plan on buying a vacation home out here anytime soon, but pretty all the same. It was probably the mountains still covered in late winter snow and thick green forests that did it. You don't get a lot of that in Manhattan or Malibu. It lost some points for having a huge HYDRA base in an abandoned castle, but no place was perfect.</p><p>Tony left the group, rocketing up the countryside, toward the castle while dodging plasma rounds from the turrets guarding the area. HYDRA made it almost too easy for them. As far as missions went this was <em>easy peasy lemon squ</em>—</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>!" Tony shouted when his suit bounced off an unseen shield around the building. A wave of force shimmered over the surface as Tony course corrected.</p><p>"<em>Language</em>!" Steve fired back at him over the comm unit. He banked his motorcycle around the corner. "Jar. That's $<em>20</em>." Tony grumbled over the comm line and Steve ignored him entirely, "JARVIS, what's the view from upstairs?"</p><p>"<em>The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker's technology is well beyond any other HYDRA base we've taken</em>." JARVIS replied reporting from the satellite above the area.</p><p>Thor, who dropped down from a HYDRA vantage point, landed on a solider and immediately threw Mjolnir into a group aiming their weapons at him, "Loki's scepter must be here. Strucker couldn't mount this defense without it." He called back his hammer, but when it got near he stepped out of the way and let it slam into the soldier that was sneaking up at him, "At long last."</p><p>Natasha, who was handling her own section not very far away, threw a grenade into the back of a truck as she ran down the path. The explosion gave her enough cover to leap over the sandbags and throw the heel of her foot into the face of the soldier firing the turret. She followed her momentum, flipping down the slight hill, and leaped at the next closet soldier. It took only seconds to wrap her leg around the back of his neck and when his partner came to help him, Natasha grabbed his shoulders with her upper half and flipped them both as hard as she could.</p><p>The moment they were down she was quick to roll back up just in case. When no other soldiers were coming at her, she pulled out her gun with a disgruntled sigh, "At long last is lasting a little long, boys." Natasha turned and fired two shots into the soldier who tried to work the turret again. "Can we pick up the pace a bit? It's not like we have the element of surprise anymore."</p><p>Clint nodded in agreement once as he sprinted past the red head and fired two arrows in quick succession before sliding behind a tree. The arrows hit their mark, exploding and taking out the turret bunker. He peeked around the corner and fired one more arrow into a truck that was peeling away.</p><p>"Wait a second", Tony called out over the comm unit. He was still circling the shielded building taking out any soldiers that stepped out the doors. He scoffed in his suit, "—can we circle back to the <em>important</em> issue here? Rogers thinks I owe the jar $20. That's <em>absurd</em>. It should be $10 at most."</p><p>At Iron Man's words, Steve rolled his eyes. Up ahead he could see a truck of HYDRA soldiers driving straight toward him. "You think you just owe 10 bucks? 10<em>?"</em> Steve sucked in a sharp breath then dove forward over the handlebars to throw his bike straight into the front of the truck. It exploded immediately. Steve glanced around, "We decided the F word was $20." He shook his head. "It's not like you can't afford that."</p><p>"It's the <em>dang</em> principle of it!" Tony called back.</p><p>Thor chimed in over his own earpiece, "Aj shared the rules with me before we left, and the word '<em>fuck' </em>does cost you 20, Stark."</p><p>"I can't believe I'm asking this, but where's Clint?" Tony replied. He was not going to lose the cursing war that started randomly a couple weeks ago. He'd let one of these HYDRA soldiers fly around in his suit before he did. "I want his opinion."</p><p>"He's decided to take a vow of silence." Natasha chuckled. Clint poked his head out from behind a tree hoping to catch the eye of someone so he could celebrate the moment Tony asked for his opinion. Unfortunately, the only person close to him was the Hulk, and based on the way the green beast was slamming a truck into the ground repeatedly he did not care about this monumental moment in Clint's life.</p><p>"Is this the same Clint Barton we all know? Dumpster man?" Thor questioned in shock. Clint fired another arrow and bit down on his lip to hold back his retort. <em>Dumpster man, his ass</em>. What did the god of thunder know?</p><p>"Clint has 45 more bucks in his jar than everyone else combined." Natasha explained as she held a soldier in a choke hold. "He's 100% gonna lose the bet unless he stops swearing entirely, and he knows the only way that's gonna happen is if he never speaks again."</p><p>"Maybe we should take $10 out of his jar for self-awareness." Steve said then grunted as he threw his shield out. It bounced off a tree and into the chest of a soldier trying to sneak up on him from the side. The shield bounced back and he caught it, "That plus Tony owing $20 could really help his chances."</p><p>"<em>Gee golly</em>, Rogers, you're <em>really</em> lighting my candles." Tony snapped and slid across the stone pathway taking out a group of soldiers.</p><p>"That sounds vaguely sexual, Tony. Do you wanna tell us something?" Natasha spoke knowing that Clint was somewhere in the woods probably biting his lip off to hold back his own witty comment.</p><p>"<em>Sir, the city is taking fire."</em> JARVIS cut into their typical battle banter.</p><p>"Well, we know Strucker's not going to worry about civilian casualties." Tony turned his focus back to the task at hand. He double barreled in the air to avoid turret fire. His screen lit up as footage from the closet city was pulled up. He nodded, "Send in the Iron Legion."</p><p>JARVIS confirmed the order, and Tony went back to looking for a way in. The sooner they got back the sooner he could convince Aj to side with him on the money issue.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>"We will not yield! The Americans sent their circus freaks to test us!" Strucker yelled out to his crowd of dumbass soldiers. Vincent leaned against the wall with his legs crossed at his ankles. The Avengers were right outside these walls kicking ass, and Vincent needed to get out of here <em>yesterday</em>. He told the idiot nazi once and he'd say it again: He was <em>not</em> about to pick a fist fight with the <em>fucking</em> Avengers.</p><p>Vincent let his eyes trace the room and they landed on the twins who stood off to the side whispering to one another. They were just kids, a boy with dyed white hair and a girl with glowing red hands. Vincent had no idea what the fuck Strucker did to them, but there was an anger in their eyes that he didn't understand.</p><p>"We will send them back in bags." Strucker snapped. Vincent rolled his eyes and went to cross his arms. His elbow was healed enough that he didn't need the full brace, but the German hooked him up with a smaller brace that still shot out fire and added an extra '<em>umph'</em> to his punches. "<em>No surrender!"</em></p><p>The room of soldiers chorused the words loudly. Strucker grabbed his number one scientist and then drifted over to where he was. He said quietly, under his breath, "It's time to surrender." Vincent scoffed and Strucker shot him a glare. "We are outnumbered, and my research is too important to try and protect this stronghold. I am too close to give up now."</p><p>"Send out the twins." The scientist emphasized. "They can handle this."</p><p>"It's too soon. They are not ready." Strucker replied.</p><p>The two began to argue and when Vincent tore his eyes away from them they landed on the twins who were slipping out of a door behind where they stood. The white-haired boy caught his eye and briefly froze. Vincent smirked and gave the kid a wink and nod. He nodded back once and slipped out with his sister.</p><p>It took a minute before the two other men to notice the twins had disappeared. Vincent pushed off the wall and grinned, "Looks like they made the decision for you, <em>Kraut</em>."</p><p>Strucker cursed in German then glared at the scientist, "Delete everything. <em>Now</em>."</p><p>"Even the—"</p><p>"<em>Everything</em>!" Strucker shoved him back. The scientist scrambled away to get the job done and Vincent just soaked in the chaotic atmosphere in the room. He loved train wrecks like this. So much fun to watch. The only thing he liked more was causing them. Strucker pointed at him, "You will make sure I get out of here."</p><p>Vincent narrowed his eyes with a shrug, "And why would I do that? I can slip out easy while the Avengers <em>fuck you up</em>."</p><p>"If you want the little Bradshaw—" Strucker growled, "—then you will get me out of here alive and free."</p><p>Vincent cursed in aggravation, "Fine. Grab your things. If you're not ready in ten minutes I'm leaving without you."</p><p>Strucker ran off and Vincent pulled out his phone to call his ride. He was starting to wonder if this deal was even worth it. He was a patient guy. The Avengers were smothering Small Fry and it left him very little options to move in. They wouldn't do that forever though. As soon as his little brother stopped being a shithead, they'd give her a little freedom and that's when he could make his move. But, he'd give the nazi one more shot. Just one more.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Clint ran from one tree to another with a groan. The last explosion had been a hair too close and slammed him into the tree he had been next to. Good news was his ribs weren't broken. He was just ready to be home. These missions were way less fun when he wasn't allowed to talk during them. There was still one bunker left firing on the group, but it wouldn't be around for much longer. He grumbled under his breath and notched another arrow.</p><p>He waited for the gunfire to pause and then whipped around the tree to fire the arrow. He pulled back and waited for the explosion. And waited. <em>And waited?</em> Clint lifted his hand to test his hearing aids. They obviously still worked, but why hadn't he heard the bunker explode?</p><p>"Son of a…" Clint rolled out from the other direction, irritated, and notched another arrow. He pulled back on the string, but before he could let it fly something slammed into his side sending him sprawling onto the ground. He groaned in annoyance and shoved himself back up.</p><p>Clint dusted off the snow on his shoulder and his eyes landed on a smug kid walking past him. He couldn't be older than 18 with grayish hair and dark roots. The kid had on a navy and silver jumpsuit and a broad smirk. When he spoke, Clint recognized the Sokovian accent, "You didn't see that coming?"</p><p>Before Clint could question why the kid was in a fucking battlefield, he blinked out of existence sending snow and dirt flying up from the ground. Inhuman. <em>A runner</em>? Clint swapped his arrows from incendiary to the net ones, and he notched an arrow to aim it in the direction he thought the kid ran in.</p><p>"Guys, we have a problem." Clint said slowly as he let his bow fall to his side.</p><p>"His vow lasted <em>literal</em> hours." Tony joked over his comm unit.</p><p>Clint couldn't see or hear the kid at all. He opened his mouth to explain the situation when he heard the charging of a plasma turret, but before his brain could connect the dots it fired. There was a flash of blue and Clint felt something hot tear into his side as it clipped him.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>!" Clint yelled as he hit the ground. He heard the others call out to him over the comm system, but all he could focus on was the burning pain at his side. The one time he manages to not break his ribs this happens instead. He gripped at his side and flinched as his had clasped down onto a wet wound. <em>Oh shit</em>. This was <em>bad</em>. This was <em>really</em> bad.</p><p>Steve was too far away to get to Clint, but he could hear Natasha getting to him quick enough. He lifted a hand to his earpiece to question their status again when something slammed into his side hard. It flipped him forward and Steve twisted in the air to land on his feet. He glanced around but saw nothing in the area.</p><p>"I think I found Clint's problem." Steve said. The air of humor they held earlier had vanished as the mission took a turn. Steve sprinted off to find Thor. "We have an inhuman in the field. Stay on alert."</p><p>Natasha slid in the snow, dodging gunfire, to reach Clint who was writhing on the ground trying to grasp his side. Snow and dirt flew up as the turret continued to try and fire at them. The only thing blocking the blows was one tree a few feet in front of them. Natasha glanced down at the gaping wound on his side. A chunk of him was missing as blood oozed out. The only thing working for Clint was the fact that the plasma that hit him had also managed to cauterize some of the bleeding.</p><p>"It's bad." Natasha reported and yanked the few first aid items she had on her belt. Clint let out a cry of pain when she shoved the gauze into the bleeding hole as quickly as she should. Despite the cauterization, he was still losing more blood than Natasha liked. The snow underneath him was staining red. The turret fired again, and she flinched, "<em>Somebody wanna deal with that bunker!?</em>" She pulled the morphine shot out of her belt and injected it into Clint's neck. Hulk roared behind her and she glanced over her shoulder to see him scream while barreling through the bunker. She nodded. That was one solution. "Thank you."</p><p>Clint's eyes fluttered, "If you guys…If you guys make me pay for saying fuck earlier… I swear to <em>God</em> I'm quitting the team."</p><p>Natasha smirked in amusement and set her hand on the side of his face. Hawkeye gave her a smile, more of a grimace really, and then blacked out. She lifted a hand to her earpiece, "Clint is stable for now."</p><p>Steve came upon on another group of soldiers and picked up his speed. He threw out his shield to the first soldier and jumped up into the air to catch it when it came back. His forward momentum kept him going and, on the way down from his jump, he slammed the edge of the shield into the next soldier's helmet.</p><p>"Stark!" He barked and grabbed the shield with his hand to knock out the legs of a soldier to his right. Steve hit him in the face on the way down, "We really need to get inside."</p><p>Tony, who was still whipping around the building, fired a round of shots into a bigger pack of soldiers. He grunted, "I'm closing in." When the soldiers were taken care of, he furrowed his eyebrows, "J, am I? Closing in?" Tony whipped around the corner, blasting through a fence, "Do you see a power source for that shield?"</p><p>"There's a particle wave below the North Tower."</p><p>"Great, I wanna poke it with something." Tony replied as he fired shots at a multitude of soldiers who flooded into the plaza he was flying through. He knocked one jet packed HYDRA agent out of his way then rocketed up into the air toward the North Tower. JARVIS lit up the weakest point in the ground for a rocket and Tony fired one right at it. The rocket dug through the Earth and took out the power source exactly like he wanted.</p><p>Tony smirked as he watched the shield dissipate around the building, "Drawbridge is down, people. You're welcome." He tacked on at the end. "I think that should take about $35 out of my jar. Quick service and all."</p><p>Steve rolled his eyes and clenched his fist. The magnetic squares on his armor activated and his shield snapped back into place. He turned as Thor slammed into the ground a few feet away from him sending soldiers flying up into the air.</p><p>"Aj told me I was judge of that, and I vote no, Stark." Thor replied and heard the man grumble over the piece of technology sitting in his ear. Steve jogged over to him and Thor nodded, "The inhuman?"</p><p>"He's a blur." Steve said. Both men glanced around the area checking for a threat. Steve nodded, "All the new players we've faced, and I've never seen this." He let out a humorless chuckle. "In fact, I still haven't."</p><p>"Update, Clint is still stable, but the wound isn't anything I can handle in the field." Natasha announced over the line. "We're gonna need evac."</p><p>Steve sighed in worry. This wasn't how this mission was supposed to go at all. His shoulders tensed when he saw a tank and squad of HYRDA agents come over a crest up ahead of them. Thor clapped him on the shoulder, "I can get Barton to the jet. The sooner we're gone, the better. You and Stark get my brother's scepter."</p><p>"Copy that." Steve clasped his shoulder back briefly.</p><p>They both turned to look at the tank and squad that had gotten closer. The soldiers were marching side by side in front of the tank with their weapons held high. Thor chuckled, "Looks like they're lining up for us."</p><p>"Well, they're excited." Steve smirked, knowing exactly what Thor was inferring to. They had only tried this move twice before, one of which ended terribly, but it could only get better from there right? He squared his body and lifted his shield up at a slight tilt toward Thor.</p><p>Thor grinned and slammed Mjolnir into the shield. Lighting cracked against it and the soundwave from it fired out toward the approaching group. All the soldiers were thrown from their feet, off the path, and then the soundwave slammed into the tank flipping it over. <em>Huh</em>. That worked out better than before.</p><p>"We're getting better." Thor pointed at Steve while backpedaling.</p><p>"I think the lack of surrounding buildings made it look better than it was." Steve joked.</p><p>Thor smirked, "Find the scepter. If you do, I'll take 35 of your money out of your jar, Rogers."</p><p>"If your arms weren't the <em>width of my head</em>, I'd fist fight you, Thor." Tony called out over the line. Thor took off to get to Clint while Steve began to sprint toward the castle.</p><p>Meanwhile, Tony had already broken into the castle and found their main headquarters of operation. Most of the rooms were already evacuated as HYDRA agents began to surrender. He flew into the top room and spotted a man rapidly typing at the console in panic. He glanced over at him with a gasp of surprise, and Tony quickly fired at the man. He fell backwards hard, knocked out from the pulse blast, and Tony glanced around looking for any other threats. When he spotted none, he let the suit open in the front and stepped out. The chill of the late winter air cut through his thin sports shirt. Tony turned and held a finger up to the suit, "Sentry mode."</p><p>The suit folded back up and raised its hand ready to fire if the need arose. Tony walked over to the computer system and let his eyes glance over all the bells and whistles. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and hooked it up to the console. Tony's eyes landed on the screen in front of him. It was various medical reports and brain scans. He tried to undo whatever the man had been doing when he came in. Probably deleting anything he could get his hands on.</p><p>"Okay, J, you know the drill. I want it all. Copy Hill ay HQ." Tony said and watched as JARVIS went to work on the other screen. Tony continued to dig at what was right in front of him.</p><p>"Clint's secure." Natasha said, and Tony couldn't help but nod at himself. That was one worry taken off the field.</p><p>"Good. Get to Banner, time for a lullaby." Steve said next. The lullaby was still a relatively new thing. One of the many plans set in place to manage the Hulk out in the field. This was one of Banner's favorite because never before had he thought anything would be able to calm the Hulk down enough to phase out.</p><p>Tony focused back on his own work. He didn't like what he was seeing right now, and he knew it was only going to get worse when he sat down to actually read through it all. Tony glanced around the room and mumbled to himself, "I know you're hiding more than files." He spun around to take in the entire space around him. "Hey, J, give me an IR scan of the room real quick."</p><p>"<em>The wall to your left</em>." JARVIS said after a moment. "<em>I'm reading steel reinforcement and an air current</em>."</p><p>Tony moved toward it, "Please be a secret door, please be a secret door, please be a secret door…" He shoved his hands against the wall, and it released with a hiss then swung open. He smirked, "<em>Yay</em>." Tony stepped in and peeked around the corner to see a long metal staircase that led to more darkness. He bobbed his head once, "Well, <em>this</em> isn't at all foreboding."</p><p>Steve peeled his mask off and stepped into the stone corridor. Tony was on task of looking for the scepter, and he was going to make sure Strucker didn't escape. Their intel told them he was here with his band of merry HYDRA agents, but that was it. The inhumans were a surprise, but there were no escape routes that they noticed when flying in. Strucker wasn't getting away from them.</p><p>A soldier with a gun spotted him, but then immediately turned to run back in the way he had come from. Steve lunged forward after him, catching up in only a few long strides, and kicked the soldier in the back sending him sprawling forward into the ground. Steve continued forward, though the guy looked out cold, and was pleasantly surprised when Strucker himself jogged up a set of stairs only to come to a screeching stop in front of him.</p><p>"Baron Strucker." Steve smirked. They were due for some good luck today. Strucker looked sheepish as he let out a breathless laugh. Steve stepped toward him and Strucker mirrored his steps to try and keep distance between them. "HYDRA's number one thug."</p><p>There were three exits in the room. The door behind him, the staircase leading to the floor below, and then a smaller door across the room behind Strucker. The HYDRA scientist chuckled, "Technically, I'm a thug for SHIELD."</p><p>"Then technically you're unemployed." Steve replied. He shifted again and Strucker mimicked him. Now Steve had his back to the staircase and Strucker was cornered. "Where is Loki's scepter?"</p><p>"Don't worry. I know when I'm beat." Strucker raised his hands in surrender. Steve noticed the suitcase held tightly in his hand. It wasn't glowing though, so he assumed that meant the asshole hadn't stuck some part of the scepter in there. Still, Steve wondered what was important enough for Strucker to grab. "You'll mention how I cooperated, I hope."</p><p>Steve nodded, "I'll put it right under '<em>illegal human experimentation'</em>." He clenched and unclenched his jaw in annoyance, "How many are there?"</p><p>Strucker smirked and Steve narrowed his eyes in confusion. A deep voice chuckled in amusement from the space to his right where the other exit was, "<em>Oh, just the two</em>."</p><p>Seconds later there was a flash of red to his right and a sudden force slammed into his abdomen and sent him falling head over heels down the stairs. Steve caught himself halfway down. He grunted into his comm unit, "Second inhuman. Female. <em>Do not engage</em>." Steve shoved himself back up the steps, but Strucker and the inhuman in red had disappeared. He pressed a hand to his earpiece. "Strucker is on the run."</p><p>"They're pretty fucking cool, huh?" The same voice said again. Steve turned to see a familiar face leaning against the stone railing a few feet away. Vincent Morgan. The Reaper. His salt and pepper hair was slicked back and matched the scruff on his jawline. There was a metal contraption wrapped around the arm Aj had broken. He grinned, wide and feral, "Absolutely <em>insane</em> kids. Letting that nazi bastard play around in their brains or fucking whatever, but hey... They got some cool perks from it."</p><p>"We've been looking for you." Steve felt his shoulders stiffen. This was the man who had tried to rip Aj away from them. The man who would've succeeded if Peter hadn't swung in to stop him.</p><p>Vincent knocked his knuckles against the railing, "You know, I've been looking for you too, Cap. I think you and me could be real good friends."</p><p>"I seriously doubt that." Steve growled.</p><p>"Oh, come on. You, me, and little itty, bitty <em>Small Fry</em>—" Vincent spat out the name Aj used in the ring and Steve hated hearing it. He continued with a smirk, "We're birds of a feather. Deep down we're all the same." He grinned and snapped his finger once as if a sudden, great idea occurred to him. "We should start a club! Get matching jackets and the like."</p><p>"She's <em>nothing</em> like you." Steve snapped. "Neither of us are."</p><p>"Oh, think about it, Stevie." Vincent replied. "You can take Small Fry out of the ring, but you can't take the ring outta Small Fry! She'll always be a <em>bloodthirsty, little monster</em>—"</p><p>Steve lunged forward, but Vincent slid back and pulled out a gun. He froze, stiffened at the sight, and cursed his temper. This wasn't a good situation to be in. He had his shield, but in the time it would take to throw it Vincent would pull the trigger. Steve could survive a lot, but not a bullet to the head.</p><p>"I'm not done talking, Steven. Don't <em>fucking</em> interrupt me. It's rude." Vincent chuckled. He waved the gun once, "But do you get my point? Small Fry can't take the ring out of herself, just like <em>we</em> can't take the war out of ourselves." Vincent shrugged. "We're soldiers, Captain. Soldiers who they pulled out of the war years ago, you a few more years than me—" He laughed at his own joke, "—But that doesn't change anything. We'll <em>always</em> be soldiers, won't we?"</p><p>Steve shook his head, "You're wrong. I'm more than that, and Aj and I? We have nothing in common with you. You're a <em>bastard</em>. An <em>evil</em> man who's hurt a <em>lot</em> of people, and I'm taking you in."</p><p>"<em>Jesus</em>, tone down the <em>self-righteous bullshit</em>. Honestly, you think you're such a fucking saint?" Vincent scoffed. He shook his head once, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "Do you know why I do the things I do, Cap?"</p><p>"I don't give a damn."</p><p>"I learned a long time ago that the world is a fucked up place. <em>Nothing</em> is fair. Nice people? The <em>good</em>people? They get stepped on. Fucked over. You have to <em>take</em> what you want, what you <em>deserve</em>, or the world will <em>eat you alive</em>. If you don't take, then it will. It'll take and take and take until you're nothing but a broken man." Vincent snapped. His amused smile simmered down into something cold and distant. He looked like a man haunted. "Do you take what you want, Captain? Or are you still that perfect little soldier? Taking orders and fighting a war so you don't have to face the <em>shambles</em> of your own <em>damn</em> life." Steve felt himself stiffen at the words and tried not to let it show, but the slow smirk that filled Vincent's features meant he hadn't succeeded. "That's what I thought."</p><p>Steve took a step toward him, and Vincent fired his gun at his feet without blinking. He clenched his jaw, and Vincent raised his weapon to aim at the spot between Steve's eyes again.</p><p>Vincent nodded, "I've been keeping an eye on you guys. Well, mostly Small Fry, but I've gotten to know all of you a little bit through this process and I gotta say… I see the way you <em>stare</em> at her." He smirked with a laugh. "You <em>dirty dog</em>, Cap! I get it. She's a <em>nice</em> piece of ass."</p><p>"<em>Shut the hell up</em>." Steve snapped and Vincent chuckled while mumbling something about a soft spot. He tried to reign his anger back, "Why are you after her? This can't just be about revenge anymore."</p><p>"Oh, it never was." Vincent said. "Was I gonna slap her around a little because of what she did to my brother? Yeah. That's disrespect to our family name. I can't let that shit slide. Then, of course, she broke my fucking elbow which, as impressed as I am, is another punishment tacked on." He tilted the gun as if making a point. "But I was also gonna offer her a job. Give that blood lust a <em>real</em> purpose in life. You don't squander talent like that. Unless you're my dumbass brother, I guess. Long story short, Strucker's and my goals momentarily line up. Enemy's enemy is my friend and all."</p><p>Steve clenched his jaw, "Why does HYDRA want her!?"</p><p>"No, no, no." Vincent made a '<em>tsk'ing</em> noise with his mouth. As if he were scolding a small child. "Where's the fun in showing you all my cards so early? I gave you enough hints as is." The bastard laughed, like this really was just a game, and smirked at him. "Lemme give you some advice though. Soldier to soldier. <em>Man to man</em>." Vincent winked. "Make a move before you lose your chance, Cap, because you're gonna lose it <em>real</em> <em>fucking soon</em>."</p><p>Steve had enough. He lunged forward again, but the same force of shocking speed whipped past Vincent and slammed into his front sending him flying across the room and into the stone wall, <em>hard</em>. He heard Vincent laugh, but by time he jumped up both him and the inhuman were gone. Steve slammed his hand into the stone beneath him in frustration. Not only had he lost Strucker, half the reason they were here, but he let Vincent get away too. Steve really fucked this up. He lifted a hand to his earpiece with a muted groan, "Tony, tell me you have good news for me."</p><p>"Well, the creepy staircase to hell didn't actually take me to hell." Tony replied back. He had just entered a large space that looked like it used to be a hangar of sorts. One of the large Chitauri whales was hanging from the ceiling with ladders and platforms leading right up to it for anyone to do whatever work they were doing on it, and beneath the alien were tables and tables of robotic work at various stages. Tony scrunched his eyebrows in thought as he stepped over to a table. They had half constructed a drone of some kind, but Tony couldn't tell what their plan had been just by looking at the drone.</p><p>His gaze lifted and his face relaxed when he spotted the familiar blue glow of the scepter. Tony moved toward it and spoke out for the team to hear, "Thor, I got eyes on the prize."</p><p>Tony smiled to himself at the thought of finally getting the damn thing after such a long chase. He felt a chill in the air a cool breeze on the back of his neck, from the lack of insulation in the hanger he assumed, but something wasn't right. <em>Something felt off</em>. An odd wave of vertigo hit him, but it passed as soon as it came. He turned at the sound of creaking and was greeted by rows of teeth as the Chitauri creature broke free of its chains and roared. Tony jumped back right as it tore past him, destroying everything it brushed into. He lifted a hand to warn the team, but as he turned to follow the monster's path his eyes landed on a series of black stones stacked on top of one another like steps. Tony couldn't begin to wonder where the scepter went or why there was nothing but darkness past the small hill because all he could see were the <em>dead bodies</em>.</p><p>The dead bodies of <em>everyone</em> he loves.</p><p>"No…" Tony murmured and every inch of him begged to run forward, but he was frozen in place with a cold sweat dripping down his face. At the top was Bruce, in Hulk form, twitching as multiple spears dug through back pining him the stone. Natasha was the step below, lying on her back staring blankly at the sky above, unmoving. Beside her Clint was sat up, his hands still on his bow with an arrow notched, but his friend was motionless. Gone.</p><p><em>All of them gone</em>.</p><p>Thor laid in a pool of his own blood with Mjolnir not so far away. Tony's breath caught in his throat when he turned to the right and saw Pepper and Rhodey next. His best friend had a spear through his abdomen as he half covered Pepper, but it hadn't been enough. Pepper was still gone. Blood dripping from her parted lips and Tony fell to his knees. His chest felt tight. He couldn't breathe. Happy, Harley, and Peter. All just like the rest. Gone. <em>Gone</em>.</p><p>His eyes were drawn in, right in front of him, and at this eye level he caught the gaze of Aj. She was on the same step as Thor, and just like him she laid in a pool of her own blood. Her face was blue and black and her dead eyes were so dilated that he could barely see the blue. Tony crawled forward and spotted Steve. He was right below Aj and at his side was his shield, broken in half.</p><p>This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. <em>No, no, dear God please no</em>.</p><p>Tony saw Steve's hand twitch and he lunged forward, "Steve? <em>Steve</em>?!"</p><p>He knelt over the motionless man and held his fingers to the man's throat looking for a pulse. He had seen movement. He <em>knew</em> he had. As he continued to try and find the absent pulse, Steve's hand grabbed his own and his blue eyes snapped open. Tony jumped in shock, but before he could question anything Steve began to cough up blood.</p><p>"<em>You…could have—have saved us</em>." Steve choked out. His hand went limp and Tony watched as the light left his friend's eyes. Tony couldn't move. All he could do was stare down as Steve's lifeless face stared up at him. A voice whispered in his ear, still in Steve's voice, "<em>Why didn't you do more?</em>"</p><p>Why didn't he? Why didn't he protect his people? His family?</p><p>A low rumbling brought him back into the moment and Tony slowly stood back up. The darkness beyond the hill was now a bold red and orange. The colors were smoldering, swirling, and it took him a second to realize what it was. <em>It was Earth</em>. The Earth was up in flames, burning and ravaged, and somehow Tony knew it was <em>his</em> fault. He couldn't explain it, but he had a gut feeling, an ache in his chest, that told him the Earth was burning at his hands. He didn't do enough. He knew, he <em>knew</em> back when he flew a nuke through a wormhole, what was out there, but he fucking did nothing about it.</p><p>Tony blinked and suddenly it was gone. The table with the scepter sat in front of him, the hanger still empty with relics of aliens and robotics. Tony took in a shaky breath and tried to ignore the cold sweat that still resided at the back of his neck. He glanced around once more and centered himself.</p><p>"<em>Tony</em>?" Voices were calling out to him over the line.</p><p>He ignored it for a bit longer and stuck out his arm to call for his gauntlet. As he waited, he marched around the table looking over the system that held the scepter up. Tony rounded the table again, satisfied that the system wasn't a danger to him, and his arm piece finally flew into the room and attached to his wrist. The moment it finished assembling, he swung his hand out and grabbed the scepter in one fell swoop.</p><p>"I got it. I have the scepter."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>I bounced in place anxiously and just stared at the landing spot where the quinjet would come in. The mission was over, they had called in a while ago, but they also had the news that Clint was hurt. They got hurt all the time, little things, but if they were asking for Helen to be ready for them it meant this was a big thing. Steve told me Clint was well enough to bitch, but I wouldn't feel better until I saw him myself.</p><p>"He'll be fine. He's taken bigger hits." Maria said from beside me.</p><p>"And yet I'm still worried." I mumbled to myself.</p><p>Agent Maria Hill had come to greet and debrief the team post-mission. I liked her. I really did. However, the two of us were not going to be best friends anytime soon. Now that I was officially not an inhuman, she had lost interest in me as a potential agent. When it came to getting closer as friends, we hadn't made much progress. It wasn't her fault. We didn't get much one on one time to nourish our relationship and that left us at acquaintances. Well, more like <em>'sort of friends who are better friends when they're shared friends are in the room'</em>.</p><p>The elevator opened behind us and we both glanced over curiously. Beth stepped out and hurried toward me, she had a Bluetooth resting in her ear, "Aj, we have—"</p><p>"This is a restricted area." Maria interrupted with a sharp tone.</p><p>I watched as Beth's step faltered and her eyes widened in worry. I shook my head and waved her forward, "I told her to come down here if she had a question. What's up, Beth?"</p><p>Beth continued to glance over at Maria in worry as she spoke, "I have people asking me for a statement on the Avengers being in Sokovia. What's our stance?"</p><p>"Tell them we will be announcing an official statement later tonight. When they press further tell them that any action taking place in the city was to protect the citizens. Emphasize the usage of the Iron Legion and tell them again to tune in for the official statement tonight." I said.</p><p>Beth nodded, writing down my words quickly, and then she offered us both a smile before hurrying out as fast as she could. Maria didn't let her glare lift from the young girl. When Beth was up the elevator, the agent turned to me, "This area is restricted for a reason."</p><p>"It's fine, Hill. I trust her." I replied and crossed my arms. "Also, don't get onto my employees. That's my job."</p><p>Maria raised an eyebrow at me and nodded, "Fair enough. As long as the Avengers know."</p><p>"They do."</p><p>"Good." We both turned back to wait for the quinjet. Maria cleared her throat, "You're doing well at the PR work. I almost forget you have no actual experience."</p><p>I chuckled, "Thank you? I think?"</p><p>For the next fifteen minutes, we continued to talk casually about random things. After the '<em>restricted zone'</em> hiccup, our conversation was smooth from there. Weirdly, I think I earned points with her for snapping at her about Beth. Wasn't quite sure why that would earn me points, but I would take what I could get.</p><p>Finally, the quinjet called in saying they were on approach. My shoulders stiffened and I let my hand play with my bracelet unabashedly. Helen and a few of her nurses came down to meet us and I gave her a nervous smile.</p><p>She set a hand on my shoulder, "Mr. Barton will be fine. I have my system set up and running upstairs. No need to worry."</p><p>I appreciated the sentiment, but again, it did nothing to quell my worries. The lot of us stepped outside onto the deck to watch as the quinjet landed. The back ramp opened up and the nurses rushed past me to get to their patient.</p><p>"Tony owes the jar $20 and I deserve to get $30 taken out of mine!" I heard Clint yell loudly, and his voice and words immediately settled my turning stomach. I watched as the nurses rolled him down the ramp on a stretcher with Natasha following closely. He spotted me and pointed, "You heard that right, Aj? Get to the jars now, fix this bullshit."</p><p>"That's $5 right there." I replied and grabbed his hand as he passed.</p><p>"No! I'm hurt, cut me slack! <em>So much slack</em>!"</p><p>The nurses continued to roll him away despite him arguing otherwise. Helen caught up to the stretcher and began barking out orders in Korean. Natasha winked at me and gave me a quick hug that I returned before following after them. Maria walked past me to enter the quinjet and I began to follow.</p><p>Thor was the next Avenger I set my eyes on. He passed Maria without pause, a case with a glowing object inside under his arm, and sent me a wide smile, "Little warrior!"</p><p>"Big warrior!" I called back and jumped to high five him as he came into reach. "You got the glowing stick?"</p><p>"Indeed." Thor replied and shifted so I could look at the scepter. It was kind of creepy. A short staff with sharp curves and edges and a glowing blue ball at the end. No part of it looked like it boded well for anyone. "Barton was right, though. On our way home we agreed that Stark owes 20 to his jar and Barton shall get 30 removed from his."</p><p>I chuckled, "Wow, you guys are feeling really generous with him, huh?"</p><p>"It was the only way to get him to stop talking." Thor replied and clapped my shoulder. I laughed and watched him enter the Tower. That's three of my Avengers accounted for and doing well. Well-<em>ish</em>, I should say.</p><p>Bruce was coming out next and based on the gray sweater and sweatpants he wore, I knew there had been a code green. If the clothes weren't enough of a giveaway, the look on his face was. He spotted me and offered me a small smile, but I just closed the space and pushed myself up on my toes to give him a hug. Bruce returned it with a sigh, "Hey, Aj. How are you?"</p><p>"I should be asking you that." I replied and pulled away. At the front of the plane, I heard Maria talking to Tony and Steve. I left my hand on his arm, "Do you want me to make you some tea?"</p><p>Bruce shook his head, "I'll be fine. I'm going to shower and call Betty."</p><p>"Good idea. I'm glad you're back." I squeezed his arm. Bruce walked past me and just like with Thor I watched as he entered the Tower. It was a habit of mine. It was like I didn't trust that they were safe and okay until I saw them enter the space we called home. I wondered if they had noticed the action.</p><p>I turned around ready to find my missing boys only to be immediately greeted by Tony tackling me into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around me and he bent over to rest his forehead on my shoulder. My eyebrows scrunched together as I rubbed his back in concern. Steve was still talking to Maria, so I couldn't meet his gaze, but I didn't let go of Tony.</p><p>"Hey, you ok?" I asked softly.</p><p>Tony suddenly pulled back, holding my arms, and gave me a tight smile, "Just missed you, sunshine." I tilted my head. This hadn't even been one of their longer missions. "You're a sight for sore eyes."</p><p>"Anything you wanna talk about?" I questioned.</p><p>"Nope." He kissed the side of my head and hurried past me, "Gotta go call Pep and Rhodey."</p><p>I followed his path with worry. Something had him spooked. Luckily, he was going to call Pepper and Rhodey. That would help him immensely. I shook my head and stepped further onto the quinjet. One to go.</p><p>"—keep all our focus on him. Strucker couldn't have gotten far." Steve said firmly. I frowned at his words. They had lost half their mission. At least they had the scepter. Maria nodded, making a note on the Stark pad she held, and he continued, "You have the info on the enhanced kids?"</p><p>"Yes, we do." Maria replied and began to look on her pad for the information. Steve turned, spotting me, and I watched his shoulders relax a fraction as he offered me a soft smile. I didn't want to interrupt the informal debriefing so I stood off to the side. Maria flipped the pad around, "Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Twins." Steve took the pad from her and flipped through some images. I let my eyes trace his entire form looking for any worrisome injuries. Steve looked alright though. A little dirty, but no blood. Steve glanced back over at me, probably feeling the weight of my stare, and I gave him a quick thumbs up then shifted toward the ramp to leave. "Orphaned at 10 when a shell collapsed their apartment building."</p><p>I only got a few steps down the ramp when Maria and Steve caught up to me. Curiously, I glanced over my shoulder at them, slowing down myself, and as they began to pass me I was startled when Steve reached out to take my hand in his. My eyes widened in surprise, Maria gave me a curious side-eye, but Steve just tightly held my hand and dragged me alongside them.</p><p>"Sokovia's had a rough history. It's nowhere special, but it's on the way to everywhere special." Maria continued her informal debriefing.</p><p>I walked alongside the two of them and glanced at the hand still held in Steve's. To be honest, things had been a little weird between us. It started way back when I accidentally knocked him out with his own damn shield. He avoided me for a couple days and I assumed it was because he was pissed at me. Finally, he got back to normal, but a weird normal where he would skip some Netflix nights and avoided my touch like I had the plague.</p><p>This was a good sign.</p><p>"Their abilities?" Steve questioned as we entered the building.</p><p>"He's got increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis. Her thing is neuroelectric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation." Maria replied and I raised an eyebrow. Geez, what had they faced out there? We stopped at the elevator and Steve shot her a look. Maria shrugged, "He's fast and she's weird."</p><p>I lifted my free hand to give Maria a quick thumbs up and nod. Maria rolled her eyes at me. Steve hit the button to call the elevator and spoke up, "Well, they're gonna show up again."</p><p>"Agreed. File says they <em>volunteered</em> for Strucker's experiments." Maria scoffed to herself. The elevator doors opened, and Steve stepped in pulling me with him. "It's nuts."</p><p>Steve chuckled and squeezed my hand, "Right." He hit the button on the side with his free hand. "What kind of monster would let a German scientist experiment on them to protect their country?"</p><p>At his reply, I lifted my gaze to stare at Steve. He wore a smile, but there was a tension in his eyes. The mission was being marked as successful since they got the scepter, but it definitely hadn't gone well.</p><p>Maria shook her head, "We're not at war, Captain."</p><p>"They are." He shrugged. The doors slid shut, leaving Maria on the other side, and I kept my eyes on the man holding my hand. Steve turned to look at me and gave me another soft smile, "Hi there."</p><p>"Hi." I replied back. "Everything okay?"</p><p>"Weird mission." Steve replied. He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. A motion he hadn't done in a while and I smiled at it. He shook his head, "I do wanna talk to you about something."</p><p>I faked gasp, "And here I thought you just wanted my presence."</p><p>"Well I won't complain about that either." Steve chuckled. The elevators opened and I walked with him toward where his locker once. No other Avenger was in here at the moment. We went around the corner and he only let go of my hand so he could open his locker. I watched him hang up his shield. "I saw Vincent today."</p><p>I blinked in shock and sat down on the bench in front of his locker, "W—What?"</p><p>"I ran into him. He was with the enhanced kids. He helped Strucker get away."</p><p>"<em>Oh</em>." I nodded once. I rubbed the back of my neck, "To be honest, I kind of forgot about him. With everything happening with Boss, I just…stopped thinking about him? He didn't hurt you, did he?"</p><p>Steve shook his head, "No. He just—He talked. A lot."</p><p>"I think it runs in the family." I rolled my eyes. "They're notorious monologue-ers." Steve nodded, that odd look in his eyes, and I stood back up. "He didn't say anything terrible, did he? You can't trust <em>anything</em> he says, you know."</p><p>Steve chuckled and set his hands on his belt, "Nothing worth repeating. I just wanted to let you know we saw him. That he's still a player on the board."</p><p>"Right. And he's working for HYDRA? Like, officially?"</p><p>"Yeah, that's been confirmed."</p><p>"Did he maybe mention why they wanted me?" I asked then shrugged, "I mean, other than for my <em>darling</em> personality."</p><p>Steve shook his head with a small smile, "He didn't. They never make it that easy."</p><p>"Shame."</p><p>Steve leaned forward to press a kiss against my temple, just like Tony had, but this one felt different. He pulled back and turned to his locker while unclipping his belt and pulling it off. I blushed and pointed at him, "Oh, you're changing? Should I –<em>Should I go</em>?"</p><p>"Unless you wanna stay." Steve smirked with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>My face went warm and I backpedaled only to stumble into the bench and nearly fall over. Steve laughed and I straightened myself up, "I'm gonna go make sure Clint isn't dying."</p><p>"Sounds good." He replied.</p><p>I gave him an awkward thumbs up and hurried back toward the elevator. A small smile lit up my features. I was sorry the mission didn't work out as well as they wanted it to, but they were back home safe, and I couldn't ask for more than that. As an added bonus, Steve seemed back to normal. Wins all the way around.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Tony had changed out of his mission gear, taken a shower, and called both Pepper and Rhodey. After all of that he was feeling so much better. He had even shot out texts to Happy, Harley, and Peter. Happy asked him if there was a security threat mission related, Harley sassed him, and Peter asked if he could go on the next mission. So, everything was working as per normal.</p><p>He rolled up the sleeves of his sweater as he walked out of the side lab connected to the main Avengers' lab where Bruce was milling about. Helen had set up her portable cradle there rather than the medical lab because it had more space.</p><p>As he came into the main portion of the lab, Bruce walked up to him, "How's he doing?"</p><p>Tony glanced at the window where he saw Helen working on Clint while Natasha and Aj stood off to the side watching. He shrugged, "Unfortunately, he's still Barton."</p><p>"That's terrible." Bruce replied and glanced through the window himself.</p><p>"He's fine. He's thirsty." Tony chuckled and kept moving forward through the lab, "All right, look alive, J. It's playtime." He stopped in front of the table where the scepter was propped up and being scanned by his systems. "We've only got a couple of days with this joystick, so let's make the most of it." Tony stopped at the table and messed with a few settings, "Update me on the structural and compositional analysis."</p><p>"<em>The scepter is alien."</em> JARVIS began, and Tony picked up his control pad to activate and bring up a few more readings.</p><p>He glanced up when he felt someone walk into the lab. Aj was heading his way, still in the jeans and t-shirt she had greeted them in. She let out a low whistle, "Wow. Still creepy."</p><p>Tony gave Aj a smirk when she reached him, "Can I help you?"</p><p>"Clint is still talking so I figure the faster we get him a drink the faster he shuts up."</p><p>"Foolproof." Tony replied and dragged Aj with him toward the back of the lab.</p><p>"<em>There are elements I can't quantify</em>."</p><p>"So, there's elements you can?" Tony questioned as he got to the drink cart he had. Aj dropped into the chair beside it while he got work on making the post-mission usual.</p><p>"<em>The jewel appears to be a protective housing for something inside, something powerful</em>."</p><p>"Like a reactor?"</p><p>"<em>Like a computer. I believe I'm deciphering code</em>."</p><p>Tony set his hand on top of blender and let it run. Like a computer? The scepter was reading as a computer. Huh. He let his eyes drift over the living space below as he thought. Steve was climbing the stairs to the level above the living space across from the lab with a Stark pad in his hands. The guy was already prepping for debriefing, but at least he had changed out of his uniform first this time. Thor was already standing on that level looking out the window toward Manhattan.</p><p>Aj grabbed a few cups from under the bar and set them out for him to pour the green smoothie out in each.</p><p>"You're missing one." He said.</p><p>"Oh, whoops." Aj replied and set out one extra cup as he continued to pour the drinks. It was a mixture of banana, pineapple, ginger, and spinach. Aj placed lids and straw in each one as he went. She narrowed her eyes suddenly, "Wait, that last cup made seven."</p><p>"One for you."</p><p>"I hate these!"</p><p>"Drink it." Tony shoved one into her hands while setting the others on a tray. "It's healthy."</p><p>Aj rolled her eyes and took a slow sip before making a face at him. Tony grinned and motioned with his head for her to follow him. They walked back to where Helen was fixing up their resident, disaster archer.</p><p>"Are you sure he's gonna be okay?" Natasha questioned as they came in. She was still in uniform and was leaning on the table Clint was on watching the machine work. "Pretending to need this guy really brings the team together."</p><p>Aj skipped over with her drink and Clint grinned up at her and Natasha. Helen came back over, "There is no possibility for deterioration. The nano-molecular functionality is instantaneous." Bruce stood beside the machine nodding as Helen explained. It really was amazing technology. It's why Tony didn't hesitate to bank roll her mission. "His cells don't even know they're bonding with simulacra."</p><p>"She's <em>creating</em> tissue." Bruce gushed with a grin. The effects of the Hulk had worn off and Tony could see that he was feeling much better.</p><p>"If you brought him to my lab, the actual Regeneration Cradle could do this in 20 minutes." Helen nodded with her own spark of excitement in her eyes. Dr. Cho was passionate about this project and Tony respected that more than anything.</p><p>He finally pushed into the room with his tray of drinks, "Oh, he's flat-lining. Call it. Time?"</p><p>"No, no, no." Clint spoke up, his voice still tired as he laughed, "I'm gonna live <em>forever</em>! And be made of plastic! Two for one!"</p><p>"Beverage." Tony announced while handing Natasha her drink first, then Clint, and then finally one to Bruce.</p><p>"You'll be made of you, Mr. Barton." Helen corrected. "Your own girlfriend won't be able to tell the difference."</p><p>Clint took a long slurp of his drink then pointed it at Natasha, "You hear that, Tash? She's challenging you."</p><p>"We gave you the drink to shut you up." Aj said with a smile and leaned forward to push the straw back into Clint's mouth. Clint pouted in response but went back to drinking.</p><p>"Speaking of—" Tony pointed at Aj, "Finish that, young lady."</p><p>Aj was the one to pout this time, and Tony crossed the room to speak to Helen. She smiled broadly and held her hands out as she spoke, "This is the next thing, Tony. Your clunky metal suits are gonna be left in the dust."</p><p>"That is <em>exactly</em> the plan." He replied with ease then motioned to her, "And, Helen, I expect to see you at the party on Saturday."</p><p>"Unlike you, I don't have a lot of time for parties." Helen replied.</p><p>Aj cleared her throat, "Thor is gonna be there with his <em>perfect</em> god arms."</p><p>"Maybe I have a little time." Helen pressed her lips together with a small smile.</p><p>Clint snapped his fingers, "Hey, no drooling over Thor, kid. Only Steve."</p><p>"Is there anyway the rest of this procedure could be done with him knocked out?" Aj questioned. Tony handed her the tray with the remaining drinks and motioned for her to go deliver them. She rolled her eyes at him but left to complete the task.</p><p>Tony took this moment to wrap his arm around Bruce and steer him out of the room back towards where the scepter was being studied by JARVIS. Bruce gave him a skeptical look, "Tony?"</p><p>"The scepter." Tony said quickly. "You see, we were wondering how Strucker got so inventive. So, I've been analyzing the gem inside." He pulled away from Bruce to pick up the control board again. "You may recognize…"</p><p>Tony snapped the control board at his wrist and golden lights filled the air to form JARVIS's connections and forms. The skeleton of his programming.</p><p>"JARVIS." Bruce nodded.</p><p>"<em>Doctor</em>."</p><p>"Started out, JARVIS was just a natural language UI. Now he runs the Iron Legion." Tony started his spiel. Aj walked back into the lab, her eyes lighting up at the sight of JARVIS, and Tony briefly considered kicking her out. Her hearing wouldn't be too troublesome though. She wasn't the one he needed to keep this from for now. "He runs more of Stark Industries than anyone besides Pepper. Top of the line."</p><p>JARVIS was speaking with Aj who was running her hand through the hologram in amusement. Tony smirked and snapped the control board out again this time to cast the hologram of the scepter's code. A blue light filled the air, one that caught even Aj's attention, and both her and Bruce stepped toward it.</p><p>"Meet the competition."</p><p>Bruce mumbled under his breath as he looked at the programming then at a few readings at the table beside him.</p><p>"<em>Whoa</em>." Aj said quietly. "It's like the inside of someone's head."</p><p>Sometimes he forgot, not as often as the others since she was in the lab with him pretty often, but Aj was smart. Not just clever or witty, the girl was <em>smart</em>. Smart enough to get into Colombia's medical program smart. Sometimes Tony wanted to convince her to go back to school, get more degrees, because he could see the amazement in her eyes anytime he walked her through something. Aj liked to learn and she could be so good at it if she was willing to give it a chance. But she wasn't. Tony felt guilty that she wasted her intelligence at just being their PR officer when she could accomplish <em>so much more</em>.</p><p>"Like it's thinking." Bruce nodded and shot Aj an approving look. Well, that settled that. She was officially part of the project. He threw an arm around her shoulders so she couldn't leave as Bruce continued to study the programming, "It's not a human mind but... look at this."</p><p>Tony tapped his head on top of hers, "What do they look like <em>specifically</em>?"</p><p>"Like…like neurons? Synapses?" Aj glanced at Bruce then back to him.</p><p>Tony gave her an approving look, "Down in Strucker's lab, I saw some fairly advanced robotics work. They deep sixed the data, but I gotta guess he was knocking on a <em>very</em> particular door."</p><p>Aj tried to pull away, the look on her face skeptical on if she should be here, but Tony squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. Bruce pointed at the programming in shock, "Artificial Intelligence."</p><p>"<em>Stay</em>." Tony mumbled and slipped his arm away from Aj to step closer to Bruce, "This could be it, Bruce. This could be the key to creating Ultron."</p><p>Bruce chuckled breathlessly, "I thought Ultron was a fantasy."</p><p>"Yesterday it was. If we can harness this power. Apply it to my Iron Legion protocol?"</p><p>"That's a man-sized '<em>if'</em>."</p><p>"Our job is '<em>if'</em>. What if you were sipping margaritas on a sun-drenched beach, turning brown instead of green. Not looking over your shoulder for Veronica?" Tony motioned over his shoulder at the mention of the Hulk stopping back up plan.</p><p>"Don't hate. I helped design Veronica."</p><p>"As a worst-case measure, right?" Tony shook his head. "How about a <em>best case</em>? What if the world was <em>safe</em>?" Bruce crossed his arms in doubt and walked away from Tony toward a different table. Aj shifted as well, jumping up onto a clear space, to sit on the counter and listen. He had piqued her interest enough. "What if next time aliens roll up to the club, <em>and they will,</em> they couldn't get past the bouncer."</p><p>"The only people threatening the planet would be people."</p><p>"I want to apply this to the Ultron program, but JARVIS can't download a data schematic this dense. We can only do it when we have the scepter here. That's <em>three days</em>." Tony said firmly. "<em>Give me three days</em>."</p><p>Aj finally spoke up, "Based on the quiet whispering, this is a '<em>hush hush'</em> conversation. Which leads me to believe that rule number four is in danger of being broken. <em>Again</em>."</p><p>Bruce leaned against the counter beside Aj and pointed to her in agreement. Tony knew this was the obstacle hardest to leap over. He shook his head, "Right. That's right. You know why? Because we don't have time for a city hall debate." The two of them shared another look, and a flash of his friends dead filled his gaze. Tony shook his head and took a step toward them firmly, "I don't want to hear the '<em>man was not meant to meddle'</em> medley. I see a suit of armor around the world!"</p><p>"Sounds like a cold world, Tony." Bruce replied softly.</p><p>"<em>I've seen colder</em>." Tony fought to stay in this moment. To not slip back into the vision he had. He shoved his hands into his pockets, "This one, this very vulnerable blue one, it needs Ultron." Tony shook his head. "Peace in our time. Imagine that."</p><p>Bruce let out a sigh and walked back over to the scepter. Tony could tell based on the look on his face though that he was on board. He smirked at the victory, but his eyes landed on Aj who was staring at him in concern. Tony crossed the space and leaned against the counter where Aj was sitting.</p><p>"What're you thinking?"</p><p>"Three questions." Aj held her fingers up, and Tony motioned for her to continue. "One, who or what is Ultron? I've seen that word on some of your files, but it never came up in conversation."</p><p>Tony nodded, reasonable question, "A program. An AI that will stop disasters that we can't. The Avengers aren't infallible, Aj. You remember how you had nightmares of all us dying at the hands of Eugene?" She shot him a look and he continued. "I have those same nightmares. I see fire raining down from the sky, aliens wiping us off the planet, and I—<em>I can stop it."</em></p><p>"Tony—"</p><p>"Ultron will be the first step in making the Avengers obsolete. To put in a shield that makes less mistakes than we do. A shield that will take care of problems before we know they're problems."</p><p>Aj sighed, "Two, why let me listen in? Why loop me into your very secret plan?"</p><p>Tony shrugged, "You like science, as much as you refuse to actually admit it. I think you'd enjoy seeing this in action. You think watching Bruce and me work on Veronica is interesting? This will be so much better. Three?"</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay?"</p><p>"<em>That's</em> your third question?" Tony chuckled. Aj's features didn't waver from worry. He held his hand out to her, "I'm fine. I'll be better once we succeed. Ready to be part of the future?"</p><p>Aj grabbed his hand and he helped her jump down. She shook her head, "Tony this feels like a bad idea. It feels like the kind of gut reaction decision you make after something terrible happens. Have you thought this through?"</p><p>Tony stared back at her as she looked up at him with those wide, worried eyes. For a moment, all he could actually see though was the dead eyes from his vision. Black and blue features, lifeless, with blood dripping from where she laid. Aj said his name and it snapped him back into place. Her eyes had life again.</p><p>She was alive again.</p><p>"I have. I have thought this through, sunshine." Tony said firmly.</p><p>He was not going to fail.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The penthouse was filled with music and lively conversations. If there was one thing Tony could do it was throw a good party. This was the kind of party Steve liked too. It was mostly close friends, and then Tony also invited a group of veterans to enjoy the night with them. As a favor for Sam. The moment Sam suggested it though, Tony agreed that it was a good idea.</p><p>Steve leaned over to strike the cue ball with his pool stick and frowned when he missed his shot. Sam whistled behind him and came up to take his turn, "Rogers, you are shit tonight."</p><p>"Gee, thanks." Steve retorted.</p><p>Sam chuckled, "<em>Gee</em>? Okay, Captain America."</p><p>"We're still having the competition. This is the last week. So far, Clint is still losing, but I'm trailing behind him."</p><p>"Yeah, because you have the mouth of a <em>damn</em> sailor." Sam replied and took his shot. He fared better than he did. Steve glanced around the party while the veterans they played with took their turn, and finally his eyes landed on who he was looking for. Aj was standing by the couches on the level above where the pool table was. She had on a dark gray halter top dress, a lighter sash around the waist before it fanned out from there in a tulle material that went to a little above her knees. Her hair was pulled up into a bun and she laughed while talking to Thor and Tony.</p><p>"You're staring again." Sam hummed and leaned over to take his turn since Steve went first for their team last time.</p><p>"I'm gonna ask her out tonight." Steve replied and Sam's pool stick clipped the top of the cue ball pathetically. The two veterans laughed at his poor move and Steve chuckled too. Steve pushed him out of the way to take his own turn. When he finished, he stood up and turned to Sam who was just staring at him. "What?"</p><p>Sam shook his head, "You're gonna <em>what</em>?"</p><p>"I'm gonna ask her out." Steve shrugged. He had thought about this for a couple days now. "I meant to a few days ago, but she's been stuck in the lab with Tony and Bruce for three days now. I've barely seen her."</p><p>"But you're gonna do it? And you think that's a good idea? <em>Now</em>?"</p><p>Steve nodded, "We obviously still have things we need to work through, but I don't wanna wait any longer." He hated that the person who finally convinced him to go for it was Vincent damn Morgan, but it was more than just what he said. Steve sighed, "I missed my chance with Peggy. I waited too long. I'm not gonna make that mistake again."</p><p>Sam paused and Steve was worried his friend was going to say something that completely convinced him to quit this plan, but instead he just nodded, "Good for you, man. Good for you. Good for <em>her</em>. If she doesn't blow a gasket that is."</p><p>"I didn't think you'd say that." Steve replied. "Thanks."</p><p>"I wanted to talk to you about something too." Sam said. He pulled an older man over and handed him his pool stick before taking Steve's and doing to the same. The man grabbed a friend and took their place. Steve followed Sam up the stairs back to the main level. "It's about Bucky."</p><p>Steve's eyes widened, "What about him?"</p><p>"I think I have a lead. I've been following it and it…it looks <em>good</em>." Sam nodded. "I'm waiting for a guy to get back to me on specifics. This…This could be <em>it</em>, man."</p><p>A wide grin slipped onto his face. Bucky was in reach. Sure, this lead could be nothing, but this was the closest they had come since Russia. Steve knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, but he couldn't help it. Sam clapped him on the shoulder, motioning to the bar, and Steve followed happily.</p><p>Between Bucky and Aj, he was getting his life together tonight it seemed.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>I played with the fluff of my dress happily listening to the laughter around me. The party had been fun, they always were, but moments like this were <em>always</em> better. After the veterans and other guests left, the rest of us settled in the mess of the party on the couches just talking.</p><p>I sat on the couch by the arm with Steve on my other side. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulders and I leaned into his side comfortably. On his other side was Thor in the red coat Natasha had bought for him. In fact, most of the people sitting here minus a few were wearing outfits by the red head. Across from the three of us was Maria, Clint, and Natasha. They sat on the floor casually while Sam and Bruce sat on the couch they were leaning back on. To their right were Tony and Rhodey, and to their left was Helen.</p><p>"How is Tony not the one losing?" Rhodey scoffed.</p><p>"What the <em>frickity frack</em> is <em>that</em> supposed to mean?" Tony shot back.</p><p>I giggled to myself and Steve shook his head. Natasha spoke up, "We really need this contest to end."</p><p>"Well from the looks of the jars, Clint is a day away from losing it." Maria motioned to the jars sitting on the shelf behind the bar. There were six jars with names drawn sloppily on the front. Natasha had a couple dollars because Russian curses also counted despite her initial belief. Bruce's jar had nothing in it because apparently he was the only one with any self-control. Mine had $74, Tony's had $89, Steve's had $91, and Clint's had a <em>whopping $127</em>. "Barton, that's just <em>sad</em>."</p><p>Clint, who was spinning an arrow casually, pointed it around the room, "I have a lot of complaints on the rulings of some of those dollar bills."</p><p>"We took out $30 for you, and you doubled it within three days." I laughed.</p><p>"You should have more money in yours!" Clint pointed the arrow at me. "I know it. You're cheating somehow."</p><p>Thor lifted his Asgardian flask, "How dare you question the integrity of Asgard's smallest warrior."</p><p>I turned to reach behind Steve, he leaned his head forward for me, and I high fived Thor with a grin. Clint scoffed, motioning to the two of us with his arrow, "This friendship is a real bummer and I can't be the only one who thinks that."</p><p>"You've never even been to Asgard." Tony added.</p><p>"Who asked you, Stark?" I hit back. "Don't be jealous because I have a title and you don't. Next on my agenda is wielding Mjolnir and becoming the god of something. I'm leaning toward being the <em>goddess of greatness</em>."</p><p>"Goddess of fuzzy socks." Bruce called out.</p><p>"Goddess of bad decisions." Tony smirked.</p><p>"Goddess of sarcasm." Natasha held up her drink.</p><p>Clint scoffed, "More like goddess of being a <em>smartass</em>."</p><p>"<em>Jar</em>!" Everyone yelled.</p><p>The archer jumped up and threw his arrow down like a petulant child while everyone laughed at his expense. He shoved his hand into his leather jacket and pulled out a bunch of crumpled dollar bills, more than the $2 that the 'ass' cost. Clint pointed the money toward us, "<em>Fuck</em> you guys."</p><p>He shoved the money into his jar, and I laughed loudly against Steve. Steve leaned in slightly, his mouth close enough to my ear that his voice tickled me, "This is <em>exactly</em> why he's losing so badly."</p><p>I turned and when I realized my face was too close, I pulled back a bit with a grin, "I noticed you decided not to give me something to be the goddess of."</p><p>"Is there an answer that <em>won't</em> get me in trouble?" Steve joked back.</p><p>I raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you thinking of answers that <em>will</em> get you in trouble?"</p><p>Steve shook his head, "I plead the fifth."</p><p>"Trick! It's a <em>trick</em>!" Clint barked loudly pulling me and Steve back into the conversation surrounding us. He was back to spinning his arrow nonchalantly as he picked another fight. Clint just couldn't resist. He pointed to Mjolnir, which sat on the coffee table in the center of the circle, "I know a trick when I see one."</p><p>Thor chuckled, "No, no, it's much more than that."</p><p>"Ah", Clint cleared his throat and leaned forward to speak in a mock deep voice, "<em>'Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power of Thooooor'</em>, whatever, man." Clint scoffed the grinned, "It's <em>rigged</em>!"</p><p>Thor grinned broadly, leaned back in his seat with one leg propped up on the other knee, he motioned to the hammer casually, "By all means, Barton, be my guest."</p><p>All side conversations ceased to stare at Clint who lifted a hand to his chest in a '<em>who, me?'</em> motion. Thor nodded again and Clint threw the arrow over his shoulder then jumped up. He rubbed his hands together and then shook out his arms.</p><p>"I lift this up and my jar gets emptied." Clint pointed across the room.</p><p>"You don't and you have to add $10 more." Steve said.</p><p>Rhodey shook his head, "Oh, this'll be good."</p><p>Tony clapped his hands once then leaned forward to pick up his drink, "Clint, you've had a tough week. We won't hold it against you if you can't get it up."</p><p>I snickered along with the others and Clint stretched out his shoulders again. He motioned to the hammer, "You know I've seen this before, right?" He popped the collar of his shirt up dramatically and the group booed him at the motion. Undeterred, he grabbed the hammer and pulled on it as hard as he could. Clint groaned as he pulled, but it did nothing. His other hand came around to tug on it, but again the hammer didn't even budge. Clint let go, stumbling back, and shook his head with a laugh, "I still don't know how you do it! Son of a bitch."</p><p>"Jar. Just all over. Jar." Sam saved his hand and Clint mumbled under his breath while walking back over to his jar to put even more money in it.</p><p>Tony called over his shoulder at Clint without looking at him, "It's okay, Barton. We expect failure from you now, so we aren't caught off guard by it anymore."</p><p>"Put your money where your mouth is, pretty boy." Clint snapped.</p><p>That was all it took to convince the billionaire. He cleared his throat and stood up with a raised eyebrow. One hand lifting to unbutton his suit. The group clapped for him while Rhodey just laughed at his friend. Tony crossed the space, going to the hammer, "Never one to shrink from an honest challenge. It's physics, everyone. Just physics."</p><p>"Oh, right, <em>physics</em>." Natasha nodded disbelieving as she took another swig of her beer.</p><p>Tony looped his wrist through the handle hanging from the end of the hammer and then grasped it firmly. He turned his head and looked to Thor, "Right, so, if I lift it, then I rule Asgard?"</p><p>"Yes, of course." Thor replied with a small shrug. I could feel Steve's body shake with the laughter he was holding behind a bright smile. The guy was <em>beaming</em> tonight.</p><p>Tony nodded, "I will be fair, but firmly cruel."</p><p>"Uh, you mean, either Pepper or me are gonna end up ruling an alien world when you get bored of it?" I chimed in.</p><p>"Obviously." Tony scoffed and began to tug on the hammer to no avail, "But I get to wear the crown. I look <em>very good</em> in crowns." Tony lifted his foot to set it on the table beside the hammer and pulled harder with no results. He shook his head and peeled the handle off his hand. He raised one finger at the group, "I'll be right back."</p><p>Moments later, Tony wandered back in wearing the glove of his suit. Clint booed loudly and Tony used the armored hand to flip him off. Tony went back to the hammer and after grabbing it, he activated the rockets and tried to pull the hammer up off the table.</p><p>I leaned forward in my seat in surprise, elbows on my knees, in awe, "<em>Holy moly</em>."</p><p>"That's pathetic." Rhodey called out.</p><p>Tony let go of the hammer and pointed at him, "Go get your glove. We lift this and I buy you vacation house in Asgard."</p><p>"That's it?" Rhodey scoffed.</p><p>"That's what you're gonna say to me? After the <em>werewolf debacle</em>!" Tony snapped. Rhodey rolled his eyes and stood up to get his glove. I knew Thor said only the worthy could lift the hammer, but kind of like Clint, I assumed it was just kind of medieval, Asgardian flourish. Rhodey came back, grabbed the hammer, and now they both tried to lift it uselessly.</p><p>The rockets on both gloves were going as the men strained to lift it. Rhodey shook his head, "Are you even pulling?"</p><p>Tony snapped a glare to him, "Are you on my team? <em>Judas</em>?"</p><p>"Just represent! Pull!"</p><p>They gave up after another minute of pulling and I think it was just because Thor began to laugh loudly at their efforts. Then the game began. Bruce was the next to try, but he didn't look quite as pathetic as Tony and Rhodey did while trying. Maria tried after with the same results as the people before her. Sam jumped up to try, failed, and then when Clint laughed at him he goaded the archer into cursing again.</p><p>I was still leaning forward in my seat, heavily infested, and I could feel Steve's hand resting on my lower back. His thumb rubbed my side in an almost involuntary manner. I wondered if he even knew he was doing it. The entire night he always kept at least one hand on me and I wondered if he was trying to make up for all the touch lost over the past two and a half weeks when he was distant.</p><p>"Captain, you're being called to the challenge." Tony said in between cupped hands like an announcer. I sat up, nudged him in his ribs, and he shot me a look before standing up. Steve glanced at Thor who nodded in encouragement. "No pressure, Rogers."</p><p>"Come on, Cap." Sam clapped his hands in encouragement.</p><p>Steve rolled up his sleeves a little since they had fallen, he pressed his lips together once, and then tugged up. His face scrunched up in concentration as he tried his hardest to lift the hammer. His arms and chest straining. I chuckled to myself and glanced over at Thor who was no longer smiling. My eyes darted from the god back to Steve and then back to the god. Steve gave up and Thor's smile returned. I turned my head slightly in curiosity at the odd reaction.</p><p>Steve walked back over, and he pulled me up out of my seat before dropping back down in his with a smirk. Tony wolf whistled loudly, and I rolled my eyes before walking over to the hammer.</p><p>Clint shook his head, "If Aj can figure out the trick where I failed, I swear to God I'm un-adopting her."</p><p>"Well, I guess it's a good thing she's a Stark then." Tony retaliated.</p><p>"If I manage to pick up this hammer I'm gonna beat the both of you to death with it so..." I chuckled and grabbed the handle. The leather on the handle was worn, but comfortably so, and I tightened my hand before trying to pull up. The hammer stayed where it was, and it felt <em>wild</em>. It was like the equivalent of trying to move a statue. As if the hammer was fused to the solid ground. I let go and shook my head, "Wow. That's <em>insane</em>!" I peeked around all sides of the hammer curiously. "This is <em>so</em> cool."</p><p>"You're allowed to stay a Barton, Aj!" Clint called out.</p><p>I moved to go back to my seat and Thor gave me an encouraging smile, "A valiant try, my lady."</p><p>"How come you're nice to her after she failed?" Sam asked.</p><p>Thor shook his head with a furrowed, serious brow, "We have a bond stronger than most. We've seen one another naked—"</p><p>I whipped around, my dress flying around me, "<em>No</em>!"</p><p>The group laughed and Steve grabbed my hand to pull me back into my seat. We leaned back together, and he wrapped his arm around me again. Clint mocked Sam for the hundredth time that night, and Steve glanced down at me, "Good news, I won't stop talking to you just because you can't lift the hammer."</p><p>"Says the guy who <em>also</em> didn't pick up the hammer." I crossed my arms.</p><p>Steve's smile softened and I felt like I was basking in his glow. He was in a crazy good mood tonight, and I figured it was the same reason I was in one. Being with everyone like this was my absolute favorite thing about having a family again.</p><p>"Widow?" Bruce encouraged.</p><p>Natasha smirked, taking a quick sip of her beer, "Oh, no, no. That's not a question I need answered."</p><p>While, the red head finished off her drink, Tony turned to focus on Thor, "All deference to the man who wouldn't be king, but it's rigged. It's rigged!"</p><p>Clint was already out of his seat, he had to put a scrap of paper with the words <em>'IOU $3'</em> into his jar, and clapped Tony on the shoulder, "You bet your tushy it is."</p><p>"Bet my—" Tony turned in his seat with shocked eyes, "Did you just say tushy? <em>Tushy</em>?"</p><p>Clint threw his hands up, "There's no winning with you people. I can't make you happy."</p><p>Maria pulled a few dollars out of her wallet and handed them to Clint, "I will bank roll your next curse if you promise to never say tushy again."</p><p>Tony pointed at the hammer, still focused on the potential trick of it all, "The handle's imprinted, right? Like a security code." He stood up. "'<em>Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints</em>' is, I think, the <em>literal</em> translation."</p><p>"Yes. It's a very, very interesting theory, Stark." Thor stood up, took a sip from his flask, then walked over to Mjolnir. "I have a simpler one." He leaned over, grabbed the handle and lifted it up with zero difficulty. Like it was no heavier than the flask in his other hand. He flipped it in the air once, then caught it, "You're all not worthy."</p><p>The group groaned at his words which slowly turned into more laughs. Rhodey was standing up with Tony now too as they argued about something. Bruce was speaking with Sam and Natasha while Maria walked over to speak to Helen who had been mostly quiet during the whole event.</p><p>"<em>Hey</em>", Steve spoke up and I turned away from taking in the scene to look at him. He straightened in his seat, pulling his arm away from my shoulders. Steve offered me his hand, and with a raised eyebrow I set my hand onto his palm curiously. "I was wondering…"</p><p>I smiled to encourage whatever it was he wanted to talk about. Steve paused and just stared for a moment. I chuckled and shook my head, squeezing his hand in mine, "What? Are you gonna mock me a little more, Captain Rogers?"</p><p>"Uh, no. I was wondering if—if you uh, wanted to get…go out to dinner. Tomorrow night?" Steve asked nervously.</p><p>I shrugged, "Like instead of Netflix and take-out? I guess we can trade sweatpants for real clothes and brave the outdoors like <em>real</em> humans."</p><p>Steve laughed and shook his head, "No, I actually meant, more like—"</p><p>A high-pitched noise rang through the entire room making everyone flinch in surprise. It was gone as quick as it came, I rubbed my ears in pain, and glanced around like the others. I looked to Tony for an answer since he knew everything about this Tower, but he looked equally as confused as he pulled out his phone.</p><p>"<em>Unworthy</em>." A deep, unfamiliar voice said. The entire room froze in alarm as eyes drifted over to the edge of the room where a broken drone limped into view. Oil leaked from it with every step and its joints sparked as it forced its movements. Wires dragged behind it almost ominously. It stopped with its back to the group. "<em>No</em>." I slowly stood up alongside Steve and the others who had been seated. The drone turned suddenly, glowing blue eyes looking demented through the drone's broken facemask, "<em>How could you be worthy? You're all killers</em>."</p><p>"Stark." Steve said. He took one step forward so his body stood in front of mine. I couldn't help but lift a hand to rest on his back while peeking around.</p><p>"JARVIS?" Tony called out.</p><p>"<em>I'm sorry, I was asleep</em>." The drone said. It turned its body looking around the room, "<em>Or… I was a dream</em>?"</p><p>"Reboot Legionnaire OS." Tony said softly while trying to do a manual reset with his phone. "We got a buggy suit."</p><p>"<em>There was this terrible noise</em>…" The drone lifted its arm to cover its face, then let it slowly drop, "<em>And I was tangled in…in strings</em>." It shrugged in a human like fashion. "<em>I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy</em>."</p><p>Steve stiffened, I felt it under my hand, "You <em>killed</em> someone?"</p><p>"<em>It wasn't my first choice, but down in the real world, we're faced with ugly choices</em>."</p><p>"Who sent you?" Thor demanded.</p><p>A recording of Tony's voice played from the drone's speaker. <em>'I see a suit of armor around the world.'</em> My eyes widened in shock. The answer that came to mind couldn't be the truth. I watch Bruce and Tony fail at creating the AI over and over and over again. Three days of dead ends and no results. I sucked in a sharp breath and Steve glanced back at me briefly. Bruce spoke up, "Ultron?"</p><p>"<em>In the flesh</em>." Ultron bowed. "<em>Or, no, not yet. Not this chrysalis</em>." Bruce and Tony shared a look of panic. Maria discreetly pulled a gun from her leather jacket. Thor's hand tightened around his hammer. "<em>I'm ready. I'm on a mission</em>."</p><p>"What mission?" Natasha demanded.</p><p>Ultron shrugged, "<em>Peace in our time</em>."</p><p>Suddenly, three drones blasted through the wall behind Ultron and things moved quickly. Everyone dove out of the way while one drone in particular barreled it's way toward Steve and I. Steve reacted without hesitation. He kicked up the coffee table then turned and wrapped his arms around me. The drone hit the table rather than us, but the table slammed into Steve's back sending us flying over the couch and down the small steps to the level below. Steve had managed to turn midair so he hit the ground rather than me.</p><p>"<em>Steve</em>!?" I cried in worry.</p><p>He rolled up, pulling me with him, pointed to the bar, and with his Captain America voice, he yelled, "Get to cover. <em>Now</em>!"</p><p>I ran to the side, determined to listen to orders while Steve ran into the fray, but then I watched as a drone slammed into Tony and sent him flying through a bookshelf. The same drone kicked Rhodey and sent him flying through the glass that showed the deck beneath the penthouse.</p><p>"<em>Tony</em>!" I called and hurried over to help him up. He was buried beneath books, trinkets, and wooden shelves.</p><p>His wide eyes landed on me, "Go." Tony grabbed a screwdriver on the table behind us. I watched Natasha pop up from behind the bar, Bruce behind it as well, and fire shots at drones using the gun hidden under Tony's bar. Steve leapt up to jump on the back of another drone while Thor threw his hammer into one. Tony grabbed my arm and yanked my attention back to him, "Go. <em>Now, Aj</em>!"</p><p>I dove to hide behind a pillar and caught sight of the drone Steve was on rocketing backwards to slam him into the wall creating a crater. Steve fell and hit the floor equally as hard. Just off to his side, Natasha dragged Bruce upstairs dodging plasma blasts and firing her own weapon at the drones.</p><p>This was nothing like fighting in a ring. I was used to things happening fast, but this was a <em>hurricane of disaster</em>. A hurricane of blurry drones, gunfire, and breaking glass. It was a sensory overload. Even in a fight with multiple assailants all I had to do was focus on the person in front of me, but this? For the first time in my life, I froze up in a fight. My hands shaking by my sides uselessly.</p><p>My eyes drifted and landed on Clint who was across the room staring at me. He signed quickly, the sign of '<em>get out'</em>, and gave me a firm glare. Get out. They were right. I needed to get out. Clint broke off, somewhere out of sight, and I continued to try and get out of the main portion of fire. Tony leaped off the railing above me onto a drone, trying to stab it in the neck with a screwdriver. I kept moving, that's all I needed to do was keep moving, but my eyes landed on Helen who was ducked under the piano with fear all over her features.</p><p>"Helen!" I hurried to her and grabbed her arm, "We gotta go. We're gonna hide out in the kitchen, okay? Just stay behind me."</p><p>Helen nodded then suddenly let out a scream as something heavy slammed to the ground behind me. I spun around, still on my knees, keeping Helen crouched behind me, as a legless drone shakily used rockets to rise from the floor. I quickly activated my gloves, something I should've done ages ago, and as they formed the drone flew toward us at a menacingly slow pace.</p><p>The drone lifted its glowing hand just as my gloves finished and I lifted my hand to match. I fired the glove as it fired its own. The pulse managed to extinguish most of the blast, but I still felt heat wash past either side of me. It managed to push the drone back a little bit, but not enough. <em>Not nearly enough</em>. And now, where my '<em>one hit wonder'</em> glove was obsolete, the drone still had more to fire. The hand began to glow again and I braced myself, but suddenly I watched as the light began to dim. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but it was short lived.</p><p>"<em>Thor</em>!" Steve yelled as he grabbed the drone in front of us. He threw it behind him, and Thor leapt from the second level to slam his hammer into the drone midair. It shattered into pieces of metal, oil, and sparks.</p><p>Steve's eyes caught mine, there was a flash of irritation, but more gunfire postponed any lecture I was gonna get. "<em>Steve</em>!" Clint yelled from somewhere out of view. Steve turned, ran out a bit, jumped to catch his shield midair, and then spun while throwing it into the last drone.</p><p>A quiet moment passed, a still in the storm, and I heard Ultron's voice from across the room, "<em>Well, that was dramatic</em>." I stood up, helping Helen to her feet, and took a step forward. "<em>I'm sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn't think it through</em>." Everyone in the room took steps forward to close in on Ultron who was still speaking in riddles. "<em>You want to save the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity to be saved if it's not allowed to evolve?</em>" Ultron bent down to pick up the severed head and torso of a fallen drone, "<em>With these? These puppets?"</em> He crushed the head in his hand, and I flinched. "<em>There's only one path to peace. The Avengers' extinction</em>."</p><p>Thor, like the rest, had enough and threw his hammer with all the force he had. It slammed into Ultron shattering him into pieces. Mjolnir came back to the god, but Ultron's voice hadn't disappeared. I stared at the glowing face of the drone Ultron had embodied as he began to sing a soft song.</p><p>"<em>I had strings… but now I'm free…"</em></p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. On a Razor's Edge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: In case it isn't abundantly clear in this chapter I will never be over the loss of JARVIS. Also have y'all seen WandaVision?! I'm shook. Leave me comments! Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics." –Charles Bukowski</em>
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<p>"All our work is gone." Bruce sighed. I glanced around the lab. The mood had switched from jovial to tense at the flip of a switch, or more accurately at the attack of a psycho robot. Tony stood at a table staring at the main Ultron drone they dragged up here. Bruce was shaking his head a little off to the side, flipping through screens looking for data. Maria was sitting with Sam who was helping her pick shards of glass out of her feet and legs. Just beside the two of them were Helen and Rhodey, the latter of which who was holding his wrist in pain. Natasha, who had changed into a jacket and sweats, stood by the wall with her arms crossed and her eyes focused on something in the distance. Clint sat in the chair beside her. Steve was standing a few feet behind Tony with his eyes downcast and his jaw tense.</p>
<p>My hands, still in my gloves, played with the edges of my dress. The tulle was torn and a part of it was even singed. I hadn't felt that happen. I also hadn't felt the glass dig into my skin at some point, but the side of my arm was definitely bleeding. My eyes stared at the armored gloves in my lap. I should take them off, let them fold back into bracelets, but a part of me couldn't. What if the drones came back? I still had leftover adrenaline coursing through my veins.</p>
<p>"Ultron cleared out. He used the Internet as an escape hatch." Bruce sighed again and swiped the screen in front of him away in disappointment. Apparently, he had seen enough.</p>
<p>Tony had a weird look in his eyes. Distant. I could see it from where I sat. Steeling myself, I pushed up out of my chair and crossed the few feet between us to stand by his side. He didn't even seem to notice my presence. Not even when I set my hand on his arm.</p>
<p>Tony just stayed lost in his head.</p>
<p>"Ultron." Steve spoke up, and I glanced back at him. He had a hand on his hip and the other resting on the table beside him. It was a casual pose, but the look on his face was nothing of the sort.</p>
<p>Natasha spoke up, "He's been in everything. Files, surveillance. Ultron officially knows everything about us."</p>
<p>"He's in your files." Rhodey scoffed and flinched when Helen began to try and move his injured wrist. "He's in the <em>Internet</em>. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting than Clint's social security number?"</p>
<p>"<em>Nuclear codes</em>." Maria looked up in alarm.</p>
<p>"Look, we need to make some calls." Rhodey announced. "Assuming we still can."</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "Nukes? You think that's his move?"</p>
<p>"He said he wanted us dead."</p>
<p>"He didn't say '<em>dead'</em>, he said '<em>extinct'</em>." Steve corrected in a sharp tone.</p>
<p>I squeezed Tony's arm and whispered, "Tony? Please come back."</p>
<p>"He also said he killed someone." Clint continued the conversation. He hadn't made eye contact with me since the fight ended and something told me I was in trouble with him too. I was in trouble with a lot of people.</p>
<p>Sam shook his head, pulling out another piece of glass while Maria hissed in pain, "There wasn't anyone else in the building."</p>
<p>Tony suddenly pulled out of my grip and I stayed where I was with my hand still hanging in the air. He paused in the middle of the room and shook his head, "Yes, there was." He pulled his phone out, snapping it forward once, and the golden programming of JARVIS popped up like it had days before. I gasped audibly at the state of it though. Suddenly, Tony's state made full sense. I took a shaky step closer with my arms wrapped around my chest in a pathetic attempt to hold myself together. JARVIS's programming was <em>shattered</em>. It looked like it had exploded from the center. Like a beautiful, glowing planet that had an asteroid blow through it leaving nothing but golden fragments and dust. Tony's voice brought me back, "<em>J</em>."</p>
<p>Bruce shook his head and stumbled forward with hands outstretched. It looked like he was trying to hold the programming up. Tony took a step away from the remains and I wanted to go to him, comfort him, but I couldn't look away. JARVIS wasn't a human. He wasn't flesh and blood, but he felt <em>real</em>. I had lived in this Tower for a little over four months and in that time I had grown close to him. That's what it felt like at least.</p>
<p>JARVIS was my friend, and now he was gone.</p>
<p>I felt that absence.</p>
<p>That hurt me.</p>
<p>I couldn't <em>imagine</em> what it did to Tony.</p>
<p>"W—What?" Bruce finally managed to say. "This is <em>insane</em>."</p>
<p>"JARVIS was the first line of defense." Steve crossed his arms and glanced downwards. "He would've shut Ultron down. It makes sense."</p>
<p>But it didn't make sense. Ultron was programming, just like JARVIS, at the end of the day. Programming could integrate other programing. <em>Assimilation</em>. Ultron could've made JARVIS a part of himself, potentially even strengthening himself through it, but this…this looked like a crime scene.</p>
<p>This looked <em>violent</em>.</p>
<p>"You got it." Tony said softly and I looked up to see him staring at me. Pain in his eyes. He nodded, as if he could read my mind. "You're right."</p>
<p>I swallowed the lump in my throat, and Steve glanced between us, "Right about what?"</p>
<p>Bruce looked to me, and I pleaded with my eyes for him to explain it, he nodded and motioned to JARVIS's remains, "Ultron could've assimilated JARVIS. This wasn't strategy. This was…" A look of familiarity flashed in his eyes, "This was <em>rage</em>."</p>
<p>Heavy footsteps made me look over in time to see Thor storming into the lab in his full uniform. Tony spun just in time for Thor to grab him by the throat and lift. I lunged forward to grab at Thor's free arm, "<em>Thor</em>!"</p>
<p>"Use your words, buddy." Tony gasped out while Steve barked at him to set him down.</p>
<p>"I have plenty of words in mind for you, Stark." Thor snapped in anger. The loss of the scepter had been personal to him, and I understood that, but it didn't help. <em>This</em> didn't help.</p>
<p>I squeezed his arm, though I doubt he even felt it, "Please. Thor. <em>Stop</em>."</p>
<p>Thor dropped Tony, and the billionaire stumbled while trying to suck in a gasp of air. I scrambled forward to wrap my arm around his side and help him up. Steve came closer, "Thor. The Legionnaire?"</p>
<p>"Trail went cold about 100 miles out, but its headed north." Thor answered. He had flown after the drones that took the scepter. "It has the scepter, and now we have to retrieve it." He shot Tony a look of annoyance. "<em>Again</em>."</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "Genie's out of that bottle. Clear and present our focus is Ultron."</p>
<p>"I don't understand." We all glanced over to see that Helen had wandered over to the drone. I hadn't even noticed her leave Rhodey's side. "You built this program." She turned to look at Tony. "Why is it trying to kill us?"</p>
<p>Tony pulled out of my grip again and I frowned. He crossed the room to his desktop, and I expected him to look something up, pull up data and answers, but instead he began to laugh. <em>Oh no</em>. It was Tony's coping mechanism. <em>Humor</em>. I had the same mechanism under my belt so I understood him almost too well. Right now, though? In <em>this</em> moment? I knew it wasn't going to float with the others. My main concern was still his state of mind though. Tony's tense shoulders and hysterical chuckles worried me greatly. Bruce stood beside him, shaking his head as discreetly as he could to his best friend.</p>
<p>"You think this is funny?" Thor took another step toward him.</p>
<p>I shadowed his step, putting myself halfway between Tony and Thor, just in case. Tony turned around with furrowed brow, "No. It's probably not, right? This is <em>very</em> terrible. Is it so…?" He laughed again and held a hand out to Thor. "Is it so…<em>It is</em>. It's <em>so</em> terrible."</p>
<p>"This could have been avoided if you hadn't played with something you don't understand." Thor snapped back.</p>
<p>My goal was to keep Thor from murdering Tony. I wasn't quite sure how yet, I hadn't got that far in my planning, but it was Tony who suddenly closed the space. I turned in surprise as Tony pushed past me to Thor, "No. <em>I'm </em>sorry. I'm sorry. It <em>is</em> funny." Tony said firmly, right up in Thor's space. "It's a <em>hoot</em> that you don't understand why we <em>need</em> this."</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>", Bruce called out sheepishly, "Maybe this might not be the time…"</p>
<p>"Really?!" Tony whipped around with a raised eyebrow, "That's it? You just <em>roll over</em> and show your belly <em>every time</em> somebody snarls?"</p>
<p>Thor shook his head with a scoff and turned away from Tony while Bruce shot him a skeptical look and shrug, "Only when I've created a <em>murder bot</em>."</p>
<p>"W<em>e didn't</em>!" Tony argued with his hands outstretched. "We weren't even close! Were we close to an interface?" Bruce shook his head with a sigh, and he turned to me with a pointed look. "Did we succeed, Aj? You were there. <em>Tell them</em>!"</p>
<p>I shook my head. From what I saw and understood, from what they walked me through, they really hadn't been. They were testing various algorithms and programs to see if one could fit the bill, but after 70 or so tries it <em>still</em> hadn't worked. I went to voice this, hoping maybe it would calm the tension a little, but Steve was the one who cut in, "Well, you did <em>something</em> right. And you did it <em>right here</em>."</p>
<p>Eyes shot over to Steve who had his arms crossed and there was nothing on his face except bitter disappointment. He took a step toward Tony, his arms falling to his side, "The Avengers were supposed to be different than SHIELD."</p>
<p>Tony stared at him for a moment, the tense room quiet, then he turned away from Steve and motioned to the room, "Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?"</p>
<p>The rooms' response was a chorus of groans.</p>
<p>Rhodey shook his head, "<em>No, it's never come up</em>."</p>
<p>"Saved New York?"</p>
<p>"<em>Never heard it</em>."</p>
<p>"Recall that?" Tony didn't let the room's mood deter him. "A <em>hostile alien army</em> came charging through a hole in space. We're standing 300 feet below it." He paused, a haunted look on his features. "We're the <em>Avengers</em>. We can bust arms dealers all the livelong day, but that up there…" Tony motioned up with his finger. "That's… <em>That's the</em> <em>endgame</em>." He shook his head. "How were you guys planning on beating that?"</p>
<p>Steve clenched his jaw, nodding his head firmly once, "Together."</p>
<p>Tony stepped toward him in a challenging manner, "We'll lose."</p>
<p>"Then we'll do that together, too."</p>
<p>There was a pause where the words seemed to echo off the walls of the lab. Maybe it should've been uplifting. A promise that no matter what, win or lose, we would still go through it as a team, a family, but it felt wrong. It felt <em>foreboding</em>.</p>
<p>"Thor's right." Steve changed the direction of the conversation, still in Captain mode. "Ultron's calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller." Tony drifted away from the center of the room and off to his desktop away from the others again. "Nat and Clint, get in contact with Coulson. Tell him to leave agents on Eugene in California but send his main team out to search for Strucker and the Reaper. Warn them of the enhanced kids. Hill…"</p>
<p>I tuned out the commands, knowing I was more than useless in this situation just like the one before, and walked over to stand by Tony. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were focused on a spot in the distance. I set my hand on his arm again, "Tony…"</p>
<p>Tony turned to look at me, gave me a tight-lipped smile that didn't reach his eyes, and shook his head, "Not now."</p>
<p>He pulled away out of my grip and left the lab altogether. I dropped down in the chair closet to me and went back to picking at the edges of my dress. Bruce walked over to me, to pick the glass out of my arm and quickly bandage it, then after a comforting smile he left me.</p>
<p>I felt like I was sitting in a haze. My brain was walking through the events of the last three days leading up to tonight. Should I have stopped Tony and Bruce? Everything seemed so innocent though. There were no signs that screamed <em>'hey this is gonna come back to bite you in the ass right away</em>'. Hell, the last three days had been fun. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to trace this back to the moment it all went so terribly wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve was furious and it had nowhere to go. A part of him wanted to wring Tony's neck for all this bullshit. How many times did he have to remind his team that secrets were going to do nothing but bring them down? Yet, here Tony was building homicidal robots in his lab. Steve would've ripped him a new one, he wanted to scream at his brilliant friend who was so damn stupid sometimes, but he knew it wouldn't do any good right now. Tony was a mess. He could see it in his friend's eyes. Between Ultron being a psycho and the loss of JARVIS… Steve knew nothing he said now in anger would help anything. So, he bit his tongue.</p>
<p>Sam crossed the room and set a hand on his shoulder, "Steve, man, maybe you should take a walk." Steve's jaw clenched and his eyes drifted over to where Aj was still in the lab with them. Others had drifted away, but she sat in a lab chair with her eyes focused on her lap. "I'll take care of her."</p>
<p>"No. I need to talk to her." Steve replied.</p>
<p>"Steve—"</p>
<p>"<em>Sam</em>." Steve snapped, his terrible mood lashing out. Sam held his gaze for a few tense seconds before shaking his head with a sigh. He knew that Sam thought this was a bad idea, but he also knew that Sam couldn't stop him, and he wouldn't be able to sleep without getting this off his chest.</p>
<p>"Go easy." Sam replied quietly before making his leave.</p>
<p>Steve turned his attention to Aj who still hadn't moved. Without thinking, he crossed the room to stand in front of her. She didn't react and he forced himself to kneel down. At the pained look of despair on her features, he felt his anger simmer. Like Tony, she was a mess too. Her dark hair spilled out of the bun it had been in, the lower half of her dress was torn and singed in some parts, she still wore her gloves, and there was dried blood smeared around on her upper arm.</p>
<p>He reached out to set a hand on top of hers, forcing them to stop playing with the material of her dress, "Are you okay?" Aj's eyes snapped up to meet his. Surprise in them. He watched as she lifted her gaze past him to look around the room. Steve reached up to take her chin in his fingers and dragged her face back down so her eyes were on him again. He spoke firmly, "Aj. <em>Are you hurt</em>?"</p>
<p>"No." She replied softly, shaking her head. "Well…" Aj glanced down at her arm where Bruce had patched her up. The man hadn't seem overly concerned by the injury, but the dried blood was still jarring. "I'm okay."</p>
<p>She was okay. Aj was okay and Steve felt a rush of relief slam into him. It was short lived though, unfortunately. All he could think about was that very last moment. Aj standing head to head with a drone, her only weapon spent, and the look of resolve on her features. A look that screamed <em>'I'm out of options and I know it'.</em> He had gotten there in time. He had, but his mind kept forcing him to think of what would've happened if he <em>hadn't</em>. Images of Aj being shot point blank in the chest with a plasma round lived in the forefront of his mind. Steve had gotten there in time, but, <em>Jesus,</em> <em>what if he</em> <em>hadn't</em>?</p>
<p>Aj's eyebrows furrowed in concern and he wondered if she could see his anger settle back in place. Steve stood up abruptly, her eyes followed his movements, and he couldn't reign back his terrible mood any longer, "What the <em>hell</em> were you thinking!? <em>Are you insane!?"</em></p>
<p>Aj stood up, shakily, and replied, "I'm not sure what you're yelling at me about right now, but can we save it until morning?"</p>
<p>It was a reasonable request. It was the smart choice. To take the night and then revisit this in the morning when they were both more stable minded. Steve couldn't wait though. They could've lost her tonight. <em>He</em> <em>could've lost her tonight</em>. He could've lost her, and that wasn't even the only thing that bothered him.</p>
<p>"No. We're doing this now." Steve snapped. "And you know what, I should've been clearer about what I'm talking about since there's apparently a <em>laundry list</em> of shit to go over."</p>
<p>That's all it took. Steve had successfully managed to push Aj from shock into being pissed off. Her eyes flashed and he was so sure that she was going to lash out, but instead she just tried to push past him, "I don't know <em>what</em> your problem is, but—"</p>
<p>Steve reached out, grabbing her wrist above the metal glove, and yanked her back to face him, "My problem is you could've <em>died</em>, Aj!" She flinched. "I told you to get to cover. To get the <em>hell out of there</em> but like with everything else you think you can just do whatever you want!"</p>
<p>"I <em>tried</em> to leave!" Aj snapped back. "But Tony was hurt—"</p>
<p>"Tony was <em>fine</em>! We all were. We knew what we were doing." Steve let go of her wrist to bury his hand in his hair. He shook his head, "We're the Avengers and you <em>know</em> that. You know what our job entails, and you know, <em>you know</em>, that in an emergency you need to take our commands to heart. This <em>isn't</em> your world."</p>
<p>"<em>Isn't it?"</em> Aj scoffed. "It sure seems like my world now!"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "You aren't prepared for this kind of shit. <em>We are</em>! We had the situation handled—"</p>
<p>"Well it sure as hell didn't look that way, Steve!" Aj yelled. Her hands were shaking, he could see it plain as day, but she crossed her arms over her chest to try and hide it from him. Steve's anger took a hit as he momentarily felt guilty about dragging these emotions out of her. "Every time I looked up somebody was getting thrown around or shot at! My <em>entire</em> family was getting their <em>asses</em> handed to them and you expected me to <em>just tuck tail and run</em>?"</p>
<p>Steve felt desperate now. He grabbed her by the arms, shaking her more than he meant to, and let his fingers curl around her skin, "<em>Yes</em>. God, that's <em>exactly</em> what I fucking want, Aj!" He could see her eyes begin to tear up, but he couldn't stop now. "We were trained for this and you were <em>not</em>. Do you think <em>anyone</em> would be happy you saved them if it cost you your own life? Aj, you could've <em>died</em> tonight—"</p>
<p>"That isn't true—"</p>
<p>"If that drone had fired a second quicker it would've been over for you." Steve didn't feel angry anymore. He just felt tired. He felt at a loss. Didn't she get this? "It doesn't matter if Helen had her cradle upstairs, that blast would've <em>killed</em> you <em>immediately</em>!" Aj mumbled his name and tried to lift her hands to set them on top of his own, but he didn't release her. Having his hands on her, feeling the life in her skin, it helped. "Aj, <em>why</em> don't you get this?"</p>
<p>She shook her head, "That isn't who I am, Steve. I can't just do nothing. I can't sit back and let y'all take all those hits for me." Steve lowered his head and closed his eyes. "I have to fight, Steve. I have to—I have to do <em>something</em>."</p>
<p>"Aj", He lifted his head to look her directly in her eyes, "I lost Peggy. I lost Bucky. I <em>can't</em> lose you too. Please<em>. I can't</em>…"</p>
<p>Aj pulled his hands away from her arms, but then she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Steve pulled her as close as he could, crushing her to his chest, but he couldn't help it. He kissed the top of her head and then rested his cheek on her.</p>
<p>Peggy was alive, but Steve was coming to the realization that he had indeed lost her. They never got their chance at a happy end and more often than not when he visited she didn't recognize him anymore. Bucky was alive, and they were so close to finding him now, but what would they find? Would it be his best friend or a stranger? He hoped, <em>prayed</em>, for the former, but his luck hadn't played out that well in the past.</p>
<p>Steve couldn't lose any of his new family. That was a simple fact. Aj was different though. He wasn't entirely sure he could survive through losing her. Between losing Bucky and Peggy, and then losing them <em>all over again</em> in this new time, Steve had his fill of heartbreak.</p>
<p>"You aren't going to lose me, Steve." Aj said softly, muffled by his body. She pulled back, but he refused to drop his arms away from her so she remained close. Aj lifted her hands to cup his face, the metal from the glove was cold, but her bare fingertips were warm as they brushed against his cheekbone comfortingly. "I promise. You won't lose me. I'm sorry."</p>
<p>He shook his head, taking a shaky breath, "No, I am. I shouldn't have yelled."</p>
<p>Aj gave him a small smile. It didn't reach her eyes, but it was enough to bring him comfort, "Sometimes I need the yelling. I'm thick headed like that."</p>
<p>They stood like that for a moment. Aj didn't meet his eyes, instead she stared at her moving fingers, and he wondered if she was memorizing his features the way he was to her right now. The crescent shaped scar under her right eye, the constellation of faint freckles over the bridge of her nose, the depth of the blue in her eyes.</p>
<p>"Hey", He said. Her eyes met his and Steve hesitated. He wanted to resume the conversation they were having on the couch. He wanted to confess everything, but it wasn't the time. Steve wondered if he'd ever actually get the time. He settled on something else that had bothered him, "Why didn't you tell me about Ultron?"</p>
<p>Aj's eyebrows furrowed, "I'm sorry about that too, but… Tony wanted to keep it secret until he had more solid data. He was serious when he said they were <em>no where</em> close. This isn't what he wanted, Steve, Tony—"</p>
<p>"I know." Steve nodded.</p>
<p>"Not to throw someone under the bus with me, but Bruce knew too." She twisted her lips into a pout.</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "I expect him to keep secrets for Tony. They're close."</p>
<p>"Are you inferring that Tony and I aren't close enough for me to keep secrets for him?" Aj asked in a joking tone, but he could see the hurt in her eyes and feel how her fingers stopped moving on his face. That wasn't what he meant. Not at all.</p>
<p>Steve pulled her hands from his face and went about releasing the latch of both. Tony had taught everyone on the team to do it just in case of emergencies. All of the team knew one another's gear like the back of their hands. Her eyes widened slightly as they came off and Steve tossed them onto the table behind him. They needed to be repaired anyways since she had used the one blast.</p>
<p>"I wasn't trying to compare the two of you like that." Steve said but he kept his eyes on her hands. He looked them over for any wounds or injuries partly to make sure she was okay and partly to hide the blush he felt on his features. "I just thought… I thought we didn't keep secrets from one another."</p>
<p>It was quiet for a pause, too quiet, and when he looked back up he felt gutted by the look of absolute guilt written all over her face. Steve hadn't meant to hurt her by the statement. In hindsight, the secret of Ultron hadn't even been too bad. Yes, the robot was murderous and wanted them extinct, but they hadn't known. He was still upset that he wasn't looped in on the beginning so he could've voiced how terrible of an idea it was, but, still, his aim wasn't to hurt Aj. His aim was <em>never</em> to hurt Aj.</p>
<p>"Hey, <em>I'm sorry</em>. I didn't mean—" Steve cut himself off.</p>
<p>Aj pressed her lips together, swallowing nervously, and nodded, "I betrayed your trust. I kept something from you, and… and it's going to hurt you. God, <em>it's going to hurt you</em>." He didn't mention it already had. That wouldn't help anything. Aj buried her face into her hands with a wild gasp, "<em>Oh God</em>, I never wanted to hurt you and here I am— I—I—"</p>
<p>"No, hey, stop that." Steve pulled her hands away from her face. "You didn't betray my trust, Aj. You had no idea what could've come from this. I'm sorry, I really wasn't trying to guilt trip you. I just meant…"</p>
<p>Steve didn't know how to voice his thoughts without sounding sappy or revealing that he was falling hard for the girl in front of him. One of the many things he liked about Aj was her honesty. Just like with Bucky and Peggy, she respected him enough to be up front with him. Even when the truth was brutal and harsh, the three of them never beat around the bush.</p>
<p>"Steve, I am <em>so</em> sorry." Aj said quietly. "<em>I'm sorry</em>."</p>
<p>He lifted one of her hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. This time he let his lips linger there for a moment longer. "I'm sorry too." He gave her a stressed smile, "Come on, let's get you to bed."</p>
<p>Aj let him drag her out of the lab, and to his floor. With Thor here, she had been staying with him again. Jane wasn't here so she could've just stayed on her own couch, but she asked to stay with him and Steve could never tell her no. He didn't want to in this case.</p>
<p>They had been taking turns on his couch since Aj was too stubborn to just take his bed for all the days Thor was visiting. Tonight though, when he came out of his bathroom freshly showered, he noticed she hadn't gone to sleep like he told her to. Aj was in her sleep clothes, her hair still damp from her own shower before his, and she had her arms tightly wrapped around the knees that were pulled into her chest.</p>
<p>Steve stepped closer, to convince her to rest, but Aj held out a hand to him with a sad look on her face. He couldn't tell in this lighting, but it looked like she might've been crying. Aj didn't have to say anything and if it were any other night he might've put up a fight. Instead, he took her hand and let her pull him onto the bed. They both quietly settled under the sheets and Steve let out another breath of relief when she shifted closer to rest her head on his chest. They hadn't laid like this together since her nightmares and the situation then had been very different.</p>
<p>"Get some rest." He mumbled softly and let his hand trail up and down her spine comfortingly. Aj's arm, the one stretched over his abdomen, tightened just a fraction. Steve closed his eyes and let the smell of her shampoo wash over him. The upcoming days dealing with Ultron would be a shit storm, he knew, but he also knew that Aj was safe and alive in his arms and tonight that was all that mattered.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The streets were uncrowded, this late at night most Sokovians were nestled in their homes, but still it was a cacophony of noise. Wanda still wasn't entirely used to the new clamor that filled her world. Her eyes traced the streets and clouds of red mist circled the heads of everyone around them. Fear, desires, and thoughts of every person they passed suffocated her. She took in a steadying breath and let tried to push the noise into the background.</p>
<p>Her brother, Pietro, walked a step ahead of her. His eyes panned around them with furrowed brows of concentration. Wanda slipped her hand around the crook of his arm and spoke in their natural tongue, "We are not being followed. I would know. After he let us go, he didn't come after us."</p>
<p>"I don't trust him." Pietro argued. "He works for von Strucker."</p>
<p>Wanda didn't blame her brother. The man they had only known briefly, Vincent Morgan, looked the part of someone who should not ever be trusted. The air he breathed seemed to come out crooked. So, when he pulled them aside and said to them, '<em>Only a fucking idiot would stick with Strucker, he's a sinking boat'</em>, her initial thought was this was some kind of trap. The Wanda of before, the Wanda she could no longer claim to be, wouldn't have believed him. However, who she was now? She saw what he truly wanted, she saw his pain, and she saw the hatred he felt toward von Strucker. It was similar to how her and her brother felt about the man. They volunteered to his experiments to save their home, to right the wrong that happened to them so long ago, but never for one second did they align themselves with the man who gave them their gifts.</p>
<p>"He doesn't want us. He only wants the girl." Wanda said. "Our future with them has ended. This new man is our solution."</p>
<p>Pietro shook his head with a small smirk, "I don't trust him either. I feel we'd be better off on our own. We don't even know who this man is or how he found a way to contact us."</p>
<p>Wanda gave him a look and Pietro let it drop. They continued down the street to where a crumbling building sat at the end. It was an old church, but it was in disrepair. The ceiling had fallen out and the entire area was fenced off to prevent injury. When they reached the fence, Pietro yanked back a loose portion of it and Wanda slipped through. They were supposed to meet here, but she felt no sensation of someone being near.</p>
<p>Her brother looked to her and she shook her head. Cautiously, they pushed onward into the main sanctuary where only one chair sat in the center of the room on a platform. The chair was throne like, a broken down once regal thing, and someone sat in it with their back to them. A cloth covered his head entirely.</p>
<p>"<em>Talk</em>." Wanda demanded in English. That was the language the message to them was sent in. She stepped in front of her brother who stood tall and confident. "And if you are wasting our time—"</p>
<p>"Did you know this church is in the <em>exact</em> center of the city?" A deep, honeyed voice asked them. "The elders decreed it so that everyone could be equally close to God." Wanda stepped closer. The man spoke, but she got nothing from him. She couldn't hear anything from the mystery man. "I like that. The <em>geometry</em> of belief." Wanda focused her powers, trying to draw something out, to no avail. "You're wondering why you can't look inside my head."</p>
<p>"Sometimes it's hard." She replied, not giving up. "But sooner or later, every man shows himself."</p>
<p>The man stood, he was tall and broad, and as the shawl fell from him Wanda saw only metal where she expected skin. She stumbled backwards in surprise as the robotic man walked toward her, eyes glowing red. Pietro hurried to her side, still ready for a fight.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm sure they do, but you needed something <em>more</em> than a man." The robot drawled. He stepped off the platform, but even on level floor with them his figure was towering. "That's why you let Stark take the scepter."</p>
<p>Wanda shook her head, "I didn't expect…" Her eyes trailed over his form. "But I saw Stark's fear. I knew it would control him. Make him self-destruct."</p>
<p>Tony Stark had been filled to the brim with nothing but anxiety, self-hatred, and a deep rooted fear of loss. She didn't have to pull hard to see it. The emotions screamed out at her. All it took was a little push and the man spiraled all on his own. His nightmares came to life before his eyes, the death of everyone he loved at his own hands, and she didn't have to do anything from there. Tony Stark was desperate to save his world. He was desperate to protect the people closest to him. It was all he wanted in life, and Wanda knew he would do anything to try and accomplish it. She also knew he would fail and self-implode before ever reaching his goal.</p>
<p>"Everyone creates the thing they dread." The robot chuckled. He turned to take a few steps away as he spoke. "Men of peace create engines of war. Invaders create Avengers. People create…" He turned to look at them with a puzzled look of thought. "…smaller people? Uh… <em>Children</em>!" The robot chuckled and the almost human way he spoke and reacted was shocking to her. "I lost the word there. Children designed to supplant them, to help them end."</p>
<p>"Is that why you've come? To end the Avengers?" She raised an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>"I've come to save the world!" He announced and motioned for them to follow. He paused then turned with a nod and shrug, "But also…<em>yeah</em>."</p>
<p>The robot, who introduced himself as Ultron, led them back to their birthplace. Not where their parents brought them to life, but where von Strucker created what they were now. The castle was looming, but the lights were on. Pietro took her hand, she could see the distrust on his face, and kept himself close. Wanda liked the words Ultron said, but the fact that she couldn't see into his head was disorienting. It was funny. Around this new figure, she was back to guessing motives and it felt wrong.</p>
<p>"We'll move out right away." Ultron led them into the basement, motioning around him. "This is a start, but we need to begin the real work."</p>
<p>"All of these are…" Wanda glanced around to the drones moving about building more and more of themselves.</p>
<p>Ultron nodded in pride, "<em>Me</em>. I have what the Avengers never will. They're discordant. Disconnected. They <em>play</em> as a family, but that is their downfall. All of them are too different to truly find harmony." He glanced back at them. "Stark's already got them turning on each other. And when you get inside the rest of their heads…"</p>
<p>Pietro chuckled from beside her, "Everyone's plan is to kill them."</p>
<p>"And make them martyrs?" Ultron scoffed. "You need patience. Need to see the big picture."</p>
<p>"I don't see the big picture." Pietro cut in sharply. She reached forward and set her arm inside the crook of her brother's arm again. A reassurance that she was still there. They were still side by side. "I have a little picture. I take it out and look at it, every day."</p>
<p>Ultron nodded in empathy. Could he feel empathy? Wanda wished she could see. He continued, "You lost your parents in the bombings. I've seen the records."</p>
<p>"The records are <em>not</em> a picture." Pietro snapped.</p>
<p>"Pietro." Wanda said softly.</p>
<p>Ultron shook his head, "No, please."</p>
<p>Pietro turned to look at her when he spoke, "We were 10 years old. Having dinner, the four of us. When the first shell hits, two floors below, it makes a hole in the floor. It's big. Our parents go in…" She could still smell the smoke and dust of crumbling walls. Wanda could still see the floor beneath her give way, disappearing, and she still remembered losing her parents. Wanda remembered them being there and then she blinked, and they were gone. Gone from her and her brother forever. "The whole building starts coming apart. I grab her, roll under the bed, and the second shell hits. But it doesn't go off. It just… <em>sits there</em> in the rubble. Three feet from our faces."</p>
<p>Sometimes at night, she got stuck in a dream where she was under that bed again. Wanda had Pietro, she always had Pietro, but nothing would ever compare to the terror she felt lying next to her brother <em>waiting to die</em>.</p>
<p>"On the side of the shell is painted one word." Pietro laughed without humor.</p>
<p>"<em>Stark</em>." Wanda growled. "We were trapped for <em>two days</em>. Every effort to save us, every shift in the bricks, I think, '<em>This will set it off'</em>." She focused on Ultron and she could feel her powers broiling under her skin. "We wait for two days for Tony Stark to <em>kill</em> us."</p>
<p>"We know what they are." Pietro shook his head.</p>
<p>Ultron let his gaze drift between the two of them, "I wondered why only you two survived Strucker's experiments. Now I don't. We will make it right. You and I can hurt them…" He nodded to Pietro, then turned his full attention on to her. Ultron's cold hand traced the side of her face, "But you can tear them apart from the inside."</p>
<p>Wanda didn't know Ultron. She couldn't see his motives or true desires. However, she really liked the idea of shredding the Avengers into absolutely nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>There was something really upsetting about seeing the place I called home in shatters. Everything around me was destroyed. Glass covered the floor, furniture was in splinters, holes were punched into the walls. It was nauseating. If something like this had happened in my old apartment I wouldn't have even cared, but this? God, it was <em>gutting</em>. It looked terrible last night, but in the morning light it was even worse.</p>
<p>I kicked my foot around making glass slide around me. I had woken up in Steve's bed alone with a sticky note on his pillow telling me to wear shoes when I came upstairs. I had changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt then pulled on my sneakers.</p>
<p>I knelt down and picked up a few pieces of glass with the idea to clean some of this up. After picking up only four shards of glass though I realized the urge was absolutely idiotic. Still, I couldn't bring myself to stand up.</p>
<p>"Aj." Natasha's voice called out. I turned my head to see her standing up at the top of the first flight of stairs. She gave me a soft look and nodded for me to come toward her. I dropped the glass in my hand and hurried up the stairs. She looped her arm through mine and led me through the lab to a meeting room they had in the back. It was one I rarely visited. "Are you hungry?"</p>
<p>"Don't really have an appetite." I mumbled. "Why are we back here?"</p>
<p>"Ultron's on the web. He deleted any signs we might've had to find him. We're doing research the old-fashioned way." We stepped in and I saw everyone digging though boxes of papers. I realized then that everyone except Bruce, Natasha, and Clint were in the clothes they wore under their uniforms. It made sense. I knew they were leaving today, but it still dragged my worry out kicking and screaming. "Wanna help?"</p>
<p>I nodded and walked over to stand next to Tony and dig through a box. Steve was on his other side and having Iron Man as a barrier between us felt both wrong and right. I didn't want to separate myself in any way, but all I could think about was the fact that I was lying to his handsome face like the <em>shitty friend</em> I was.</p>
<p>Apparently, the enhanced kids had been seen helping Ultron. That made the group think he had maybe partnered up with Strucker and Vincent somehow which didn't bode well for any of us. So now we were looking for anything related to the German, psycho scientist. I kept my eyes on the papers, refusing to look up, as I flipped through folders. It took everything not to get lost in my own head as I worked.</p>
<p>"Baron Strucker had a lot of friends." Steve sighed.</p>
<p>Bruce, who was on my other side, shook his head, "And every single one is worse than the next."</p>
<p>"Wait, <em>wait</em>—" Tony said, and his hand entered my line of vision as he pointed to the folder in my hand. The name Ulysses Klaue was at the top, and he looked like the kind of guy who was running in the wrong crowd. "I know that guy." I handed him the file, and Tony took it. "From back in the day. He operates off the African coast. Black market arms deal." I watched as Steve shot him a disappointed look, and Tony gave him a light glare back with a nod, "There are conventions. All right? You meet people. I never sold him anything." They looked away from one another, but the tension remained. Tony continued, "He was talking about finding something new, a game changer. It was all very Ahab."</p>
<p>Thor took the file from him to look over while Steve peeked at it as well, "This?"</p>
<p>He was pointing at something on the man's face.</p>
<p>"It's a tattoo, I don't think he had it."</p>
<p>"No, <em>those</em> are tattoos." Thor tapped his finger to the black marks peeking out of his shirt up his neck. Then he pointed to the next were he had an odd, burn scar under his ear, "This is a <em>brand</em>."</p>
<p>Bruce held his hand out, and Thor gave it to him. The scientist turned to jump on the computer on the desk off to the side. He input the symbol and waited as it tried to find a match. My eyes caught Steve's on accident. He gave me a small smile and I had to look away. I didn't deserve any shred of kindness from him. I didn't deserve <em>anything</em> from him.</p>
<p>"Oh yeah." Bruce called out, pointing to the screen, "It's a word in an African dialect meaning '<em>thief'</em>. In a much less friendly way."</p>
<p>"What dialect?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>Bruce looked back to the screen, "<em>Wa-kan-nada</em>." He shook his head and tried again, "Wakanda. <em>Wakanda</em>."</p>
<p>Steve and Tony suddenly turned to look at each other. This time instead of tension it was a look of recognition. Tony shook his head, "If this guy got out of Wakanda with some of their trade goods…"</p>
<p>"I thought your father said he got the last of it." Steve replied.</p>
<p>"What the hell comes out of Wakanda?" Clint asked.</p>
<p>Steve and Tony both glanced over their shoulder to where the Captain America shield was leaning up against the wall. Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Vibranium?"</p>
<p>"<em>Vibranium</em>." Steve nodded.</p>
<p>From there it was a flurry of the team prepping and getting ready. While they worked on that, I packed away all the files back to where they had been grabbed. It wasn't a long chore, but it was mindless. That helped. Sooner rather than later, they were moving down to board the quinjet. I stood in the room one had to go through in order to get onto the quinjet straight from the weapons and uniforms locker room.</p>
<p>Saying my good-byes to them this time felt different. Usually, there was humor in the air and a casual confidence. This time I could tell they were worried and God that put a rock in the pit of my stomach.</p>
<p>"Don't do anything dumb while we're gone." Clint pulled out of the tight hug we shared. The words should've been humorous, but the look in his eyes was deadly serious. "If anything happens, <em>anything</em>, you call us. Even if nothing has happened but you have an off feeling about something. You—"</p>
<p>"Call you. Got it." I nodded.</p>
<p>Natasha pulled me away from him and into another hug. She said something in Russian I didn't catch, but I tightened my arms around her all the same. When we pulled apart she didn't give me final goodbye words like Clint had. She just gave me a firm smile then grabbed Clint and dragged him away. As they disappeared out the door to where the quinjet was waiting I wondered if that could be the last time I saw them. It was a dark thought, <em>intrusive</em>, but it hit me hard. Even if it wasn't this time, was this how our goodbye would look? Me wishing them luck, sending them out in a quinjet, to never see them again?</p>
<p>Thor came into the room next. He spotted me and offered me a kind smile. I could tell he was still irritated from last night, but it had simmered greatly. Rather than our usual high fives and jokes, he let me pull him into a hug. His armor stuck into my side painfully as I gripped him tight, but I didn't give a damn.</p>
<p>"Bring them back home, Thor. Please." I pleaded.</p>
<p>Thor let go of me and gave me a serious nod, a promise, "I will return all of them to you in the state they leave in, little warrior. I give you my word."</p>
<p>"Keep your own ass safe too, big warrior." I offered him a smile that I prayed didn't look like a grimace. Thor chuckled and ruffled the hair on top of my head before slipping out the door and out of my sight.</p>
<p>Bruce and Tony came in a few moments later. Bruce hugged me as Tony stood off to the side and he offered me a quick goodbye. I could tell by the look on his face that he was mentally preparing himself for a code green. There was no telling what was going to happen out there, and it would be a last resort measure, but it plagued him none the less. He slipped out the door and it left me and Tony alone in the room. I noticed he had my bracelets in one hand.</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, not closing the distance, "Go to the Compound."</p>
<p>"Huh?" I questioned.</p>
<p>"Go to the Compound. As soon as we leave, I want you to grab Beth and leave for the Compound. Take one of my cars. Construction finished a week ago and all they're doing now is furnishing and last minute touches. Last night I activated security measures." Tony explained. "Get there, turn on the perimeter, and then <em>don't leave</em>. Do you understand me?"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Tony—"</p>
<p>"<em>Do you understand me, Aj</em>?" Tony asked again firmly. I nodded once. "I haven't had a chance to update FRIDAY to have full access to the Tower or the Compound, just my suit for now, but—"</p>
<p>"FRIDAY?"</p>
<p>"Another natural language UI program. Since…"</p>
<p>There was a beat of silence. FRIDAY was JARVIS's replacement. Since JARVIS was gone and he still needed something to help him in the suit. The reminder of his absence made my heart ache again. I mumbled a soft apology to Tony. He looked like he hadn't slept at all last night and that made my concern for him grow. Not only was he going out on a mission, but he was going out with little to no rest.</p>
<p>Tony closed the space between us and grabbed my hands to clasp the bracelet and watch on, "I fixed them last night. Put another charge in." Geez, he really didn't get any sleep, did he? Tony pulled me into a tight hug, "Straight to the Compound. Alright?"</p>
<p>"Got it." I nodded against his chest. "But only if you promise to get a little sleep on the quinjet." He grunted out an acknowledgment. "About JARVIS, Tony—"</p>
<p>Tony let go of me and gave me a tired smile, "Yeah. I miss him too. <em>Compound</em>, Aj."</p>
<p>Without another word, he turned and left the room. The thought of driving out to stay in the newly built Compound was daunting. I always imagined move in day would involve the rest of the team and be a bit happier. Putting myself out of danger was the least I could do to help stave off some of the worry though. I took my phone out of my pocket and texted Beth to meet me in the penthouse within the hour and to bring a travel bag of clothes and necessities.</p>
<p>Then I waited. Nearly ten minutes passed before Steve came into the room dressed in his full uniform. His shield was on his back and his cowl tucked under his arm.</p>
<p>Steve gave me a kind smile and my entire chest ached. He trusted me, the kind of trust I never thought anyone would fully put in me, and I was betraying him. Sure, last night he had been talking about the Ultron secret, but he had no idea about Bucky. He had no idea that for the past three months I had been in contact with his long lost best friend on a <em>daily</em> basis. I needed to tell him. That was abundantly clear now, but in my attempt to wait for the right moment I had ended up waiting too damn long.</p>
<p>"We'll be back before you know it." Steve said trying to quell my worry. "You should—"</p>
<p>"Tony told me to go to the Compound." I nodded.</p>
<p>Steve, happy with the statement, crossed the space and wrapped his arms around me. The warmth from his hug was comforting, but the realization that I didn't deserve it struck hard. He had so much faith in me, he trusted me, and this is how I repaid that.</p>
<p>He released me from the hug, but his hands lingered on my waist keeping me in his reach. Steve paused, hesitated, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to my hairline. My eyes closed at the touch, guilt overwhelming, as it reminded me of a moment that felt so long ago. Bucky pressing a kiss in that same spot and then disappearing from my grasp.</p>
<p>Steve began to lean back, but I cupped his face to keep him close. Something felt different as I stood in this room alone with him, my thumbs dusting over his cheekbones, just like last night. I didn't know what it was. Hell, it was barely even there for me <em>to</em> notice, but it was there. I swallowed the nervous lump that had blocked up my throat from speaking.</p>
<p>"Please come back." I said weakly and shook my head once. "I can't… I <em>can't</em> lose you either, Steve. <em>Please come back</em>."</p>
<p>He nodded once, placed his hands over mine, and then slowly pulled out of my reach. Steve lifted my left hand and kissed the back of it. I squeezed my grip around his fingers and Steve didn't look away from me as he backpedaled toward the door.</p>
<p>"See you soon." He smiled and slipped out.</p>
<p>The moment they were gone I fell to a crouch and buried my face into my arms that rested on top of my knees. This wasn't goodbye. I'd see them again. They'd be fine. They'd be safe. They were the Avengers. There was nothing they couldn't defeat. I repeated the phrases in my head multiple times like a mantra in hopes that the more times I said it the more true the words would become. I stayed like that for longer than I should've and the fact that JARVIS wasn't there to ask if I was okay left a bitter taste in my mouth.</p>
<p>I rose, took in a sharp breath, and then focused on the task at hand. I needed to pack a bag so I'd be ready the moment Beth got here. For the next ten minutes, I was a hurricane rushing around my apartment gathering anything I would need. It all fit into a black duffel bag I had found buried in my closet. I stripped out of my pajamas, pulled on a pair of light colored jeans, boots, navy sweater, and then I tied my hair up into a ponytail before throwing on the hat Clint bought me for Christmas. In my haste to yank on my canvas jacket, the burner phone fell out and I froze.</p>
<p>In the disaster that was last night, I had forgotten to text or call Bucky. I hadn't had any of those terrible nightmares anytime we talked at night, and last night I hadn't run into that issue while with Steve, but even more guilt hit me at not even letting him know what was going on. I scooped it up and when I opened it I was greeted by a missed call and a few texts.</p>
<p>He hadn't left a voicemail, and the last text he sent had been, <em>'I'm glad you're having fun at the party, call me in the morning so I know you're okay. I won't judge the hangover.'</em> I had told him about the party Tony had planned and joked that he'd be getting a call from drunk me at some ungodly time in the morning. But, that hadn't happened.</p>
<p>My finger hovered over the call button when my other phone began to ring from across the room. It was probably Beth wondering where I was. I shoved the phone into my pocket with the plans to catch him up on what was happening once we got to the Compound.</p>
<p>"Hey, Beth." I answered the phone without even looking at the screen.</p>
<p>"Sam, actually."</p>
<p>"Oh, hey." I said in surprise. I grabbed my duffel bag and headed toward the elevator. "I didn't see you leave last night."</p>
<p>Sam chuckled, "Well it was kind of a mess. Did they leave this morning?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, about thirty minutes ago actually." I got up to the penthouse and didn't see Beth waiting for me. "Are you coming to the Compound with us?"</p>
<p>Sam must have known what I was talking about because he didn't question it at all, "No, I'm not. Remember I told you about that Bucky lead?" All the blood in my body ran cold. "Nat worked some magic and got the guy to give us <em>everything</em>. I'm gonna be chasing him down."</p>
<p>"Y—You are?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I need a favor." Sam replied. "The lead sent in the info to Nat via the Tower. Usually I can just call in and JARVIS would shoot me the info but… you know…" He cleared his throat. "I just need you to log into the system and pass the information along."</p>
<p>Without replying, I jogged up the stairs to the lab. The only times I had logged into the system was for PA duties ages ago. Tony had told me I still had access in case of emergencies though. I dropped down into a seat and let the holographic screen rise to greet me. There was a flash of light, the retinal scan, and then I was logged in.</p>
<p>"See anything?"</p>
<p>There was a new message sent straight to the Tower. It had already passed through the screening process, but it remained unread by anyone. I opened it up and my breath caught in my throat. There was a picture of Bucky. His hair was a little longer than I remembered, half his face hidden by a baseball cap, and the picture quality was shit, but I <em>knew</em>. It was Bucky. My eyes danced across the information.</p>
<p>"Aj?"</p>
<p>"Huh?"</p>
<p>"I asked if you found it." Sam said again. I mumbled a quiet yes, and he sighed, "Good. We could use a win. Can you send it to me?"</p>
<p>Could I? Physically yes. I knew how to send it over, but… Sam would chase after Bucky. He'd find him, and bring him home? What if Bucky wasn't ready to come home yet? This needed to be his decision and I didn't know how I could explain this to Sam without admitting the truth of what I already knew. My eyes landed on the picture of Bucky again, and I was startled by how quickly my mind was made up.</p>
<p>"It won't send, Sam." I lied. "It won't let me send anything out, and I don't know how to fix it without JARVIS, Tony, or Bruce."</p>
<p>Sam cursed under his breath, then hummed, "I'm already on Tony's jet with the pilot. Just read it off to me. I got a paper and pencil to keep track of it."</p>
<p>"It says he's at an apartment complex on the corner of <em>Strada Fratii Golesti</em> and <em>Strada Libertatii.</em>" I read the words, and when I got to the next sentence I lied through my teeth. My eyes glanced around the map of Romania on the screen, "It's in Oradea, Romania. It says he's been there a while."</p>
<p>"Got it." Sam replied. "Thanks, Aj. Get yourself to the Compound. I'll keep you updated, yeah?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Thanks, Sam." I said softly and hung up. My eyes stayed glued to the screen. I could call Bucky right now and tell him someone found him. I could tell him I sent Sam to the wrong side of Romania looking for him. Would that come to a happy end though? We'd still be exactly where we were. The wheels in my head began turning. If Bucky saw Sam coming he would run. He wouldn't listen, I knew this. But what if it were me? What if<em> I</em> went to Bucky and convinced him to come home finally? Telling Steve the truth about the big secret I had hidden from him sounded like it'd be a <em>lot</em> easier if I had Bucky there in his sight to distract him. Maybe then he could overlook my betrayal.</p>
<p>"Aj?" I heard Beth's voice from the level below the lab.</p>
<p>I stood up while simultaneously googling the quickest flight from New York to Romania. By time I got downstairs to greet a confused Beth, I had my ticket purchased and loaded onto my phone. We got into the elevator and I hit the button for the garage and my apartment.</p>
<p>"Hold the door for me. I just have to grab something and then we'll head to the garage and I'll explain what's going on. Okay?" I said. Beth nodded quickly and stuck her arm against the elevator doors while I sprinted to my room.</p>
<p>I wasn't going to the Compound. I was going to Romania.</p>
<p>And, lucky for me, I already had a valid passport.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. A-SIDE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: This one is long as shit and guess what?? The next one is gonna be LONGER. I'm sorry to those who don't like long chapters, but I couldn't split this chapter or the next. ANYWAYS, tell me your thoughts!! Again, y'all will see some differences from AOU and i'd love to hear what y'all think!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>                                          </p>
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<p>
  <em>"Don't leave me alone with my thoughts. They'll kill me." –Timothy Khawlhring</em>
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<p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [09:32:12] [35.006205, -64.585011]</strong>
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<p>The quinjet atmosphere was tense and awkward. Tension was normal. This wasn't the first time the inside of this jet saw that kind of strain either before or after a mission. The awkwardness though? That was new. Even at their most stressful moments, Steve could always count on Tony or Clint to crack a joke or drag the rest of them into some lighthearted argument. Right now, Tony was sitting at the cockpit with his back to the group, despite the quinjet most definitely being on autopilot, and Clint was near the back fiddling with his arrows alone. Steve knew why Tony was pouting, but he wasn't entirely sure what had Clint in a mood.</p>
<p>Steve tossed aside his cowl and glanced over at Natasha. She was sitting a little ways away from Thor and Bruce, who were speaking quietly to one another, and she turned to catch his gaze. He nodded his head in Tony's direction. Natasha shook her head. He nodded to Clint, and she gave him a small smile. There were some situations where Tony needed a Natasha speech and sometimes he needed a Steve speech.</p>
<p>He sighed to himself. Apparently today was a Steve day.</p>
<p>Steve crossed the space towards the cockpit and took his place behind Tony's right shoulder, "Tony—"</p>
<p>"It's dangerous to distract the pilot. 9 out of 10 plane crashes happen because a '<em>more righteous than thou'</em> ass distracts the pilot with a lecture."</p>
<p>Steve smirked, "I'd like to see the study on those statistics."</p>
<p>"Seriously, Steve." Tony replied. "I'm not in the mood."</p>
<p>"Well having this talk here rather than when we get to Johannesburg sounded like a good idea to me." He said. Tony didn't reply even when he gave the man a few beats of silence to do so. Steve sighed, "Tony, I get it you know—"</p>
<p>Tony turned so his seat shifted and it nearly sent Steve stumbling down the few steps that led up to the pilot chair. He leaned forward in his seat, eye to eye with Steve, "No, Rogers, I don't think you do. Because you still think I regret what I did."</p>
<p>Steve's eyes widened slightly, "Tony—"</p>
<p>"Stop saying my name in that tone of voice."</p>
<p>"—you made a <em>robot</em> who is now <em>hell bent</em> on bringing us to <em>extinction</em>." Steve's gaze hardened. "And you're telling me you don't feel a <em>little</em> bit responsible?"</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "Ultron came out of my lab. That's on me, I get it. I fucked up, Cap. Sorry I'm not perfect like you—"</p>
<p>"I <em>never</em> claimed to be perfect!"</p>
<p>"—but don't you see what I've been trying to tell you?" Tony snapped. Steve felt himself losing his cool again and bit down his thoughts. This was the opposite of what he wanted to accomplish. "The Avengers are <em>fallible</em>. We need something, something that won't make mistakes or fail, we need—we need—"</p>
<p>"<em>Ultron</em>?" Steve scoffed.</p>
<p>Tony blinked at him once then turned his chair to face out the front again. Steve sighed in regret when he saw his friend's jaw clench in anger. He glanced out at the blue and white that flew past them. Steve wondered if he should back off now and try again after Tony had time to cool off. However, Tony surprised him by speaking up, "I know I'm responsible. Ultron was there, in <em>our</em> home, waging war. If Bruce had gotten hit and hulked out into New York, that would be <em>my</em> fault. If that fall through the glass had done more than sprain Rhodey's wrist, that would be <em>my</em> fault. If that drone had <em>killed</em> Aj and Helen—"</p>
<p>"Tony."</p>
<p>"It would be <em>my</em> fault. <em>I got that</em>." He continued. "But I can't stop trying, Steve. I can't because if I do… if I stop, we <em>all</em> die. Maybe not today or tomorrow but eventually and I…" Tony shook his head, "I can't lose you guys. I can't be the last man standing. Not when I have the ability to stop it."</p>
<p>Steve reached out and set a hand on Tony's shoulder. His friend didn't break his gaze from the jet's windshield. Still, Steve didn't let that deter him, "I know we aren't invincible. I know the Avengers can fail, I get that, but I also know <em>our</em> hands are still the safest hands. Trying to shift the responsibility of protecting this world to a program or perfect being… Yes, it sounds like a good plan. And—and <em>God</em>, do I wish we could do that without any kind of worry, but… I don't know if that's in our future, Tony. At least not in the foreseeable one."</p>
<p>"So that's our fate? To keep throwing ourselves in the fray and praying that if we do lose the entire world won't collapse with us?" Tony questioned. He finally turned to look at him, "I can't accept that, Steve. I <em>have</em> to keep trying. It's who I am. I can <em>see</em> a better future, for us, for the world, and I'm <em>not</em> going to stop trying to build it."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled to himself, "And <em>I</em> see what we have in front of us. I see that right now our only solution is us and I trust my team, <em>this family</em>, enough to get the job done. I have faith that <em>together</em> we can pull through the toughest of situations."</p>
<p>Tony nodded a bit and the two of them just stared at one another. Finally, Tony smirked and let out a small laugh, "This argument is never going to end, you know? We'll always be on opposing sides of this issue. You're a soldier with priority in the now, and I'm an inventor with my head stuck in the future."</p>
<p>Steve's shoulders tensed a bit at his words. Tony called him a soldier, and in this situation he was entirely accurate. He knew that was the reason why the two of them butted heads, and why they, like Tony said, would always be at odds about this topic. Steve couldn't help but think back to when Vincent also called him a soldier though. You could take the solider out of the war, but the <em>soldier never stops being a soldier</em>.</p>
<p>"Looks like we have a long future of bitching at one another ahead of us." Tony said dryly.</p>
<p>Steve smirked, "You know what? I'm okay with that." He held out his hand to him. "Maybe next time we can bitch at one another <em>before</em> you go and decide to build something else. Just so I can guess what happens next."</p>
<p>"Yeah." Tony laughed and clasped his hand with a quick shake. "I guess I can send out a memo next time. Add it to our monthly email chain."</p>
<p>"We're <em>also</em> adding a new rule to the charter." Clint's voice called out. Steve turned and Tony swiveled the chair around to look as well. The archer was leaning against the dividend in the middle of the quinjet with a smirk. Natasha was behind him and gave Steve a quick wink.</p>
<p>Tony stood up and walked down the steps, "I feel like a new rule is excessive. Bruce and I obviously just broke rule number 4."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I think rule number 12 should be that all parties must give the team a 3-4 business days heads up if they plan to build a <em>supervillain</em>."</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes and Bruce raised a hand, "I thought we were on rule 11."</p>
<p>"Rule 11 is no grape flavored beverages in the main living space." Thor shook his head.</p>
<p>All of them paused in thought then nodded in remembrance. Tony continued to argue against a new rule being created at his fault, but Steve dropped back down into his seat to watch in amusement. His thoughts trailed back to being a soldier. For so long, that was all he wanted in life. Now, he had it. More than that, he was <em>good</em> at it. Were Tony and Vincent right though? Would he ever be able to <em>stop</em> being a soldier? Years down the line when he's finally ready to retire and hang up the shield, start a family, would he even be able to?</p>
<p>Could he ever give up that mantle?</p>
<p>Thor crossed the space to sit beside him with a smile. He motioned to the argument in front of them, "Is it odd that this is preferable to before?"</p>
<p>"No. I like it a lot better too." Steve chuckled.</p>
<p>The god of thunder glanced at him and suddenly slapped a hand on his shoulder tightly. Steve raised an eyebrow at the motion, but Thor just spoke, "Are you thinking of Aj?"</p>
<p>Well, he hadn't been, but he was sure he would now. That was a whole other dilemma he needed to manage. Last night had, without a doubt, been the biggest fight they had. It seemed like it ended on a forgiving tone though. Aj wouldn't make eye contact with him in the conference room but saying goodbye to her was better. The way she looked at him… Steve couldn't speak for her, he had no idea what was going on in that pretty head of hers, but her gaze felt different. That was a good sign, right?</p>
<p>Thor let out a booming laugh and Steve realized he hadn't answered the earlier question, "Have no fear, Rogers." He shook his shoulder. "Your lover is formidable. Aj will be fine while we are gone."</p>
<p>Steve blinked in shock, "Aj <em>isn't</em> my lover."</p>
<p>"She isn't?" Thor questioned. He paused then shook his head, "<em>No</em>, I am quite certain the two of you have been dating for some time now. Like, Jane and I." Steve shook his head with a smile, and Thor's own smile faltered. He squinted at him, "<em>Are you sure</em>?"</p>
<p>"Pretty sure. Last I checked at least." Steve replied with a chuckle. Thor pondered on this a moment longer. It was funny to him that Thor had just assumed the two of them had been seeing one another this entire time, but it didn't push him into a stuttering, nervous mess at the thought anymore. Mostly because, if things worked out how he had planned, he'd come back from the Ultron mission and correct that error in judgement.</p>
<p>Clint dragged Thor's attention back to the argument at hand. It sounded like a new one, but that didn't surprise him. Steve knew him and Tony had an endless list of pointless things to argue over. He crossed his arms and settled back in his seat to watch them throw points and facts back and forth to one another. Like many arguments they had, it went on a tad bit too long and Thor ended it by claiming god status and saying he knew best which sent everybody else into groans of exasperation.</p>
<p>The Avengers were an absolute mess. A train wreck. A trashcan fire family, at best, but they were his and Steve wouldn't trade them for something functional any day of the week.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [18:14:49] [-26.205, 28.049722]</strong>
</p>
<p>Ulysses Klaue ran his operations out of an abandoned cargo ship that had run aground right outside of Johannesburg. The river had dried long ago and left behind a mess of rusting ships. They had chosen to park the quinjet right on the riverbank with Bruce waiting inside. Nobody was eager to release the Hulk inside a closed, metal ship. It just screamed '<em>bad idea'</em>, and Clint would know. He was very good at bad ideas.</p>
<p>It had taken a good chunk of time getting to area, it was approaching sunset, but from what they could see their targets were here. Klaue was inside the ship as per usual and he had guests. Guests in the form of two enhanced toddlers and a giant, creepy ass robot. The mission hadn't officially started yet, and Clint was already tired.</p>
<p>He got to his location, a perch near the top of the inside of the hull and clicked his earpiece once to let the others know he was ready. From where he crouched, he could see Ultron, who had definitely upgraded since they last saw him, standing with the gray-haired boy and his glowing red twin sister. They were arguing with Klaue about something. A tone in his ear told him that Natasha had just reached her own position.</p>
<p>"Finance is so weird." Ultron's voice echoed through the hull. "But I always say, keep your friends rich and your enemies rich and wait to find out which is which."</p>
<p>Tony scoffed over the comm line, "<em>Now he's using my lines</em>?"</p>
<p>"Is that <em>really</em> a line you wanna lay claim to, Tony?" Natasha questioned.</p>
<p>"<em>Stark</em>." Klaue spat out the name and Clint flinched in fear that they had been spotted. The man was glaring at the robot though. He shook his head, "Tony Stark used to say that. To <em>me</em>. You're one of his."</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>!?" Ultron roared and grabbed Klaue by the arm. "I'm not—" The nearby henchman grabbed his gun, but Wanda Maximof made a quick motion with her arms sending a blast of red that froze the henchman in place. "You think I'm one of Stark's <em>puppets</em>? His <em>hollow men</em>? I mean, <em>look at me</em>! Do I look like Iron Man!? Stark is <em>nothing</em>!"</p>
<p>As Ultron yelled, he swung his other hand down and in one swift motion Klaue lost his arm from the elbow down. If the guy wasn't an evil bastard, Clint might've felt bad for him.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry! I'm…<em>oh</em>!" Ultron said sheepishly. "I'm sure that's gonna be okay. I'm sorry. It's just that I don't understand." Steve clicked the earpiece twice. The signal to drop in. Clint notched an arrow and took in a steadying breath. "Don't compare me with Stark! Stark is— he's a <em>sickness</em>!"</p>
<p>Steve, Thor, and Tony dropped down on the railing across from Ultron and the twins. Tony was the first to chime in as per usual, "Aw, Junior. You're gonna break your old man's heart."</p>
<p>"If I have to." Ultron countered, the three of them squared up.</p>
<p>"Nobody has to break anything." Thor said firmly.</p>
<p>"Clearly you've never made an omelet." Ultron chuckled.</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, his voice clear over the comm unit, "He beat me by one second."</p>
<p>The gray-haired boy, Pietro, stepped forward, "Ah, yes. He's funny. Mr. Stark. It's what? Comfortable?" He motioned to the area around them. To the various missiles and weapons scattered around. "Like old times?"</p>
<p>"This was never my life." Tony replied and Clint knew that comment had hit below the belt. Tony never reacted well to accusations like that. Even at the height of Stark Industries creating weapons, Clint knew Tony had never delved into this side of it.</p>
<p>Steve stepped forward, "You two can still walk away from this."</p>
<p>"Oh, we will." Wanda said in a patronizing tone. Where her brother was stone faced with anger, Clint could see the seething look of hatred on the girl's face. Every once in a while, her eyes would flash a threatening red.</p>
<p>"I know you've suffered—" Steve tried to reach them.</p>
<p>Ultron just scoffed at the attempt then followed it with an amused laugh, "Captain America. <em>God's righteous man</em>. Pretending you could live without a war." Ultron motioned to himself. "I can't <em>physically</em> throw up in my mouth, but—"</p>
<p>"If you believe in peace, then let us keep it." Thor bellowed.</p>
<p>"I think you're confusing '<em>peace'</em> with '<em>quiet'</em>." Ultron took a step forward.</p>
<p>Tony made a sound of mock acknowledgement, "What's the vibranium for?"</p>
<p>"I'm glad you asked that because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan." Ultron replied with ease. Great. It was a villain with Tony's snark. Clint only had a second to think the disgruntled thought when Ultron shot a magnetized hand out to yank Tony's suit forward then followed it with a bright red laser blast that sent him slamming into the metal door behind them.</p>
<p>Two drones jumped onto the railing, attacking Steve and Thor, while Tony activated his rockets and slammed forward into Ultron. The two flew through the air, tangled in battle, slamming into the sides of the hull. Clint aimed for the drones only to be interrupted by gunfire. Klaue's men had finally showed up to the scene and now it was time for all of hell to break loose.</p>
<p>Natasha, on the level below Clint, was tied up in taking down as many of Klaue's men as she could reach. The archer just above her fired at the ones who slipped away and tried to get to the others. Above them, Tony fired a blast sending Ultron through the metal ceiling only to follow him up and out of sight.</p>
<p>Steve, who was still on the railing being swarmed with Ultron drones, took out one out with his shield only to immediately be hit in the face with a fist that sent him sprawling. <em>Pietro Maximof</em>. He grunted and rolled back up to try and spot the blur of blue and gray. Luck was on his side when Steve spotted him being thrown through the railing of their level and into a pack of storage boxes. He turned to grab the nearest drone with his shield and slid the side of it under the robot's neck so Thor could take off the head like a baseball bat to a ball.</p>
<p>Thor turned to fight the next and Steve leaped from the railing down to where Pietro was struggling to get up. The boy shakily got to his feet just in time for Steve to slam his shield into his chest sending him back to the floor.</p>
<p>"Stay down, kid."</p>
<p>The battle raged on, and Thor found himself storming down a hall to where he could hear Steve fighting either Klaue's men or more drones. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted movement, but when he turned to find the source it was too late. A flash of red washed over him, momentarily blinding him, and when it faded he was left staring at a young girl with dark hair pulled back and glowing red eyes. He reached forward, but she slipped into the shadows and away from him.</p>
<p>"Thor, status." Steve barked over the comm line.</p>
<p>The god shook his head and pushed forward, "The girl tried to warp my mind. Take caution with the witch." He turned the corner to meet one of Klaue's men. Thor grabbed the back of his neck and slammed him to the ground. He shook his head again, "I doubt a human could keep her at bay. Fortunately, <em>I am mighty</em>."</p>
<p>As the words left his lips, the metal walls and floor turned to stone bathed in candlelight. Thor whipped around dizzily but was only met with the revelries of Asgardians. He turned again in a tight circle, but the ship and his teammates were gone.</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck</em>." Thor let the very human curse fall from his lips.</p>
<p>Only quiet on the comms from the god.</p>
<p>"Thor? <em>Thor</em>!" Steve called out but got no response. With a grunt, he slammed the edge of his shield into the abdomen of the soldier in front of him then threw him aside so he could get to his missing teammate. Suddenly, something solid crashed into his front sending him flying backwards and hard into a corner of metal pipes and guns. With a grunt, he sat up to glare at Pietro who smirked down at him. Before Steve could stand a blast of red hit him in the face blinding him.</p>
<p>Natasha, who had seen Steve go down, and knocked the henchman in front of her out via kick to the head then jumped down to the level below her to try and get to the Captain faster. She quickly told Clint the plan over the line and raced around the corner bringing down every gunman she crossed. She was caught off guard when something fast knocked her onto her back. Natasha followed the momentum and rolled to her feet, but when she landed in her crouch a flash of red blinded her.</p>
<p>"<em>Motherfucker</em>." Clint cursed under his breath. The bad news was that every single Avenger was not responding over the comms anymore. The good news was that meant nobody could get onto him about cursing. Clint was a glass half full kind of guy. He rotated out the usual arrowhead to switch it to a pulse bomb. Clint notched the arrow and fired. It shot forward and went off mid-way down taking out every single one of Klaue's men on that level. Clint lowered his bow with a tilt of his head, "Maybe I should've started with that one."</p>
<p>He could feel someone hovering over his shoulder. Wanda had come for every other Avenger and he knew he'd be the last since his location was out of convenient reach. His fist tightened around the taser arrow he left in his hand. When he felt the girl surge forward, Clint spun in a tight circle and slammed the non-sharp end to her forehead. It stuck there and the electricity had her shaking where she stood with wide eyes. The red on her hands simmered away to nothing.</p>
<p>"I've done the whole mind control thing, kid. Can't say I was a fan." Clint said. He raised his hand to pull the arrow off, it had already done its job, but a sudden force slammed into his side sending him through the window that had been to his right. He landed hard on a table with glass surrounding him. Pietro scooped his sister into his arms, shot him a dirty look, then zoomed away. Clint groaned and let his head rest against the table for a second, "Yeah, you better run, <em>you little</em> <em>shit</em>."</p>
<p>After giving himself 4.5 seconds to feel like death warmed over, Clint rolled off the table and called out over the comm line, "Anyone still standing? We gotta get out here. <em>Guys</em>?"</p>
<p>Clint was met with nothing but silence.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[date unknown] [time unknown] [location unknown]</strong>
</p>
<p>Natasha stumbled down a very familiar set of wooden stairs. The logical side of her said this was impossible. Very shortly after finding her own path, finding her <em>freedom</em>, she had come back to <em>burn</em> this cursed building down to nothing but ashes. The moment her feet landed on the tile floor of the lobby that thought was gone. She was back. She was back in the Red Room.</p>
<p>Her feet carried her forward to where an old woman stood outside of a double door staring inside. Natasha came to a stop and watched a line of ballerinas plie while holding onto a wooden bar connected to a wall of mirrors. In the corner a group of young girls stared at them in awe.</p>
<p>"Stop." Natasha mumbled softly. "Stop. Let them leave." Her eyes landed on a young red headed girl in the front of the group of children staring back at her without emotion on her face. "You're going to break them."</p>
<p>"<em>Only the ones who are breakable</em>." The old woman said from beside her.</p>
<p>The ballerinas began to bleed profusely. The dark red blood starting under their tulle skirts and leaking down their stockings to pool around their pointed toes. It didn't deter the dancers from continuing their moves. Blood just smeared across the wooden planks with every turn they took.</p>
<p>The old woman turned to look at her with a smile that was too large for her face. One that had too many teeth, and the longer she stared the darker the woman's eyes turned, "<em>We've been waiting for you to come back, Natalia</em>."</p>
<p>She didn't want to come back.</p>
<p>Natasha didn't want to be here.</p>
<p>The woman, <em>the monster</em>, took her by the arms and led her across the vast room. Every step echoed loudly, and it matched the beat of her heart as it pounded painfully in her chest. She was taken into another room and took in a sharp inhale at the sight. This was the room she was raised in, this was the room where the Black Widow was born, and on the light wood floor kneeled six familiar faces.</p>
<p>"<em>We're so happy to have you with us again</em>." The woman cooed in her ear. Natasha stared at her in fear as the woman placed a pistol into her hands. "<em>But you came back with weaknesses, Natalia. What do we do to our weaknesses</em>?"</p>
<p>"We destroy them." Natasha replied in Russian. A statement she had said a million times in this building. To this woman. "We destroy them."</p>
<p>"<em>Then destroy them</em>." She shook her head with that same devious smile. Natasha turned to face her friends, her family, and she hated the fact that her heart didn't race. That the gun didn't shake in her hands. "<em>Do it, Natalia</em>."</p>
<p>Steve was first. He held his head up confidently. He was still in his uniform though it was bloodied and battered. Steve shook his head, "<em>This isn't you, Natasha</em>."</p>
<p>"Yes, it is." Natasha replied unwillingly. A bag was placed over his head, and her body raised her arm to aim. Every single inch of her brain screamed to stop. She didn't want this. She didn't want to be this. Her body acted on its own accord though. She pulled the trigger and Steve crumpled to the ground dead.</p>
<p>Tony was second. His eyes burned with passion. He had on his favorite band shirt, the AC/DC one she could never get him out of. Tony didn't blink, "<em>You're stronger than this, Nat. Natasha</em>!"</p>
<p>"Strength is destroying weaknesses." Natasha heard her own voice say. Another brown bag. Another gunshot. Another dead body.</p>
<p>Bruce was third. He looked tired. Worn down. The poor guy wore the gray sweats he was always forced to after a code green. Bruce sighed, "<em>Natasha, stop this</em>. <em>We're your family</em>."</p>
<p>"I have no family." Bagged. Shot. Dead.</p>
<p>Thor was fourth. He looked angry. The god was stripped of his armor and hammer. Thor snapped at her, "<em>Natasha! You are a warrior! Fight this</em>!"</p>
<p>"A warrior has no weakness." Bagged. Shot. Dead.</p>
<p>Aj was fifth. She looked broken, disappointed. The young woman's bright blue eyes were clouded with tears and she wore an outfit Natasha had picked out for her with love. Aj sucked in a shaky breath, "<em>Please. Nat, please</em>."</p>
<p>"There is no room for pleading, no room for weakness." She replied. The sob as a bag was pulled over her head didn't falter her stiff movements. Another bullet, another dead body.</p>
<p>Lastly was Clint. Clint. <em>It was Clint</em>. He was on his knees in his uniform, beat up and bruised, but the man just smiled at her warmly. There was nothing but soft love in his eyes. No malice or anger. Just <em>love</em>. Clint's smile widened. It was the smile he'd give her in the early morning light when she woke up to find him already awake and looking at her. It was the smile he'd shoot her from across a crowded room. Clint nodded once, "<em>I love you, Tasha. I love you. You belong here, with me. Your place is by my side. I'll always love you</em>."</p>
<p>"I—I—" Natasha stammered. It was like she was trapped in her own head. Every atom of her being was on fire, screaming, but her body didn't react. Her soul was burning alive, but her body didn't care. She opened her mouth and a cold voice that she recognized as her own spoke, "Love is weakness. I have no place in the world."</p>
<p>Clint's smile never faltered as a bag was roughly shoved over his head. Natasha could feel hot tears running down her face, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter. She pulled the trigger, her aim was true, and Clint was dead. Clint was dead. <em>Her Clint was dead</em>.</p>
<p>Cold hands gripped her shoulders and the woman whispered in her ear, "<em>Welcome back, Black Widow. You belong here, with us, and you'll always come back. You'll always come back to us.</em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[date unknown] [time unknown] [location unknown]</strong>
</p>
<p>Steve stumbled forward and stared at his hands. Ungloved. Dark green sleeves. It took him a second for him to recognize his service uniform. He hadn't seen it since he went under the ice. A gunshot made him jump. Steve turned to find the shooter, but his eyes landed on a man laughing with a champagne bottle in his arms. The champagne soaked him and the others around him, and then pooled on the floor around their feet.</p>
<p>He took another step forward. He was standing on the edge of a dance floor. Bright red victory banners hung from the ceiling with garlands and décor. Happy, jazz music played loudly around him as everyone in the room laughed and celebrated. <em>The war was over</em>. Everyone was overjoyed, but he couldn't find it in him to feel the same way. Something was wrong. That edginess he felt in the field sat at the back of his neck. A foreboding warning.</p>
<p>Steve pushed forward through the dancers. Photographers rushed around him, their flashing lights too bright and making him flinch. Each shutter sounded like a grenade going off. The flash a warning that he was too close to survive the blast. He shoved past them desperately and spotted two men shoving and fighting one another. A dancer whirled past them, and now they were just laughing. Holding onto one another's arms for support.</p>
<p>Another gunshot. A cork popping? The band playing? All he could hear was gunfire. That's all his brain could recognize. Steve felt lost as he came to a stop at the center of the dancefloor. On his left a man was on the ground bleeding, but after a blink all he saw was wine spilled on a shirt. On his right was a woman sobbing over a dead child, but dancers passed in his vision and now she was laughing while helping her fallen child stand up.</p>
<p>More gunshots. More bottles. More grenade flashes. More photographers.</p>
<p>It was overwhelming. Steve felt like he couldn't breathe. Everyone here was so happy and they celebrated because the war was over. It made perfect sense. It's what you were supposed to do when a war finally ended. So why wasn't he? Why couldn't he join in the party? Why couldn't he celebrate too?</p>
<p>His eyes landed on a familiar face. Way in front of him, off the dancefloor, Aj sat at a table in a pristine white dress that didn't match the timeframe. Tony, in a white suit, laughed beside her while Clint, also in white, stood behind them talking loudly. Bruce and Natasha sat across from them whispering with matching smirks, and Thor cheered while pouring drinks for all. Aj suddenly turned and her bold, blue eyes locked with his. A slow smile, just for him, filled her features and she motioned for him to come over.</p>
<p>Steve breathed in relief and took hurried steps toward his family, toward Aj, but with every step he took he only got further away. It was like the dancefloor was growing. Every time he thought he was getting close they looked further away.</p>
<p>Sound began to dim, and Steve felt <em>left behind</em>. He was lost in a crowd of faces while his family drifted away. A gentle hand lightly tapped on his shoulder and when he whipped around, he felt his heart stop. <em>Peggy</em>. She looked just like she had the day he said goodbye to her. Her hair was done up perfectly and she wore a soft blue dress.</p>
<p>"<em>Are you ready for our dance</em>?" Peggy asked.</p>
<p>"Peggy…" He breathed.</p>
<p>She stepped closer to him and his hands naturally drifted to take her in his arms. The dim music around them was quickly paced, but he just pulled her flush against him as they slowly swayed. The world around them began to blur. Steve still felt lost, left behind, but it wasn't so bad here. He didn't mind being lost here if he had Peggy in his arms.</p>
<p>"<em>The war is over, Steve</em>." Peggy said softly. "<em>We can go home. Imagine it</em>."</p>
<p>It sounded nice. It sounded like heaven.</p>
<p>Steve watched as Peggy's beautiful hair began to slowly turn gray. Her skin aged before his eyes, and he clutched at her tighter while shaking his head. She was moving forward without him too.</p>
<p>"<em>Are you going to live in the past forever</em>?" Peggy asked. "<em>Do you really believe that you can only thrive in a war?</em>" Steve opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Peggy gave him a soft smile, "<em>That's why we're leaving you behind</em>."</p>
<p>"Peggy—" Steve said, but Peggy disappeared. A second later the music stopped. The world stopped. Suddenly, he was alone on the dance floor. All the party goers were gone, and he was left <em>alone</em> in the vast, warmly lit room.</p>
<p>Steve slowly turned and stopped when he noticed there was one other person in the room with him. Aj was sitting where she had been before. The others were gone, it was just her, and her smile had disappeared. Steve took a hesitant step forward, scared he wouldn't make any progress, but when the distance began to close, he picked up his pace. Aj stood up to meet him and they both paused a few feet away from one another.</p>
<p>"Aj." He said. "You didn't leave."</p>
<p>She shook her head sadly, "<em>I've been waiting. But… you always leave me waiting, Steve</em>."</p>
<p>"That wasn't my intent. I wanted—" Steve paused. There was plenty of things he wanted, but she wasn't wrong. "Aj, I want…"</p>
<p>"<em>You can't say it, can you</em>?" Aj asked.</p>
<p>"No. I can." Steve said firmly. "I want—I want—"</p>
<p>It didn't matter how hard he tried to get the words out. They stayed stuck in his throat and his heart ached as Aj's face filled with more and more disappointment. She shook her head and took a step back.</p>
<p>"<em>You chose to fight a war. It's who you are, Steve. I get it</em>."</p>
<p>Just like with Peggy, Aj began to change right before his eyes. Her white dress began to turn a blood red. Bruises coated her skin. Her knuckles turned a splotchy red and purple. Steve watched as the light left her eyes and her cheeks hollowed out. Aj turned and began to walk away.</p>
<p>"Aj, no." Steve said. "Aj!"</p>
<p>He reached forward to grab her, to stop her, but his hands slammed into an invisible wall. A barrier he couldn't cross. He punched at the wall as hard as he could, called out to her, but she just continued to walk away. A deep chuckle made him realize Vincent Morgan was who she was walking to.</p>
<p>Vincent winked at him, "<em>I told you. If you don't take what you want, the world will take from you</em>." He grabbed Aj roughly and laughed. "<em>Do you even have anything left for the world to take, soldier?</em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[date unknown] [time unknown] [location unknown]</strong>
</p>
<p>Thor was surrounded by noise and dizzying motions. The structure of the plaza he was in was recognizable. It was Asgard. The south wing of the castle. Never before had this area seen revels like this though. Masked men and women danced in odd repetitive fashions. Fire breathers filled with air with smoke and embers.</p>
<p>As he pushed through the space, hands grasped as him. Fingers raked against his armor and skin. Another tangled in his hair and tried to drag him toward a group of scantily clad women. His eyes landed on a friend and his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.</p>
<p>"Sif?" Thor drifted toward them. His dark haired friend, one of the greatest warriors Asgard has ever seen, was lounging in a seat with men and women catering to her. Armor had been replaced with ornamental, bold red robes and hands caressed her bare skin. "What is happening here?"</p>
<p>Sif leaned forward, giving him a wide grin, "<em>My King! Where have you been? The festivities have begun without you. We couldn't wait</em>."</p>
<p>"Festivities for what?" Thor demanded looking around him.</p>
<p>She rose from her seat and set her hands on his chest, "<em>My King, since when did we need a reason to enjoy ourselves? Join me</em>."</p>
<p>Sif grabbed his hand and tried to drag him forward, the others behind her motioning for him to join, Thor stumbled forward a step. This wasn't what Asgard was supposed to look like. Thor pulled his hand away and turned to rush away. Sif called after him, but he had to find the answer.</p>
<p>"<em>Thor, where are you going?"</em> Heavy hands slammed down on his shoulders and he came face to face with Volstagg. His thick, red beard dripped with wine and his eyes were distant as he grinned. "<em>We've only just begun</em>!"</p>
<p>Thor grabbed his friend's arm, "Volstagg, this isn't right. Sif, she was… What is the meaning of this?"</p>
<p>"<em>You've pushed Asgard into a golden era! An era of nothing but enjoyment and celebrating</em>!" Volstagg cheered. Thor watched as Fandral and Hogun drifted over, both drunk and weaponless. Thor couldn't understand this. Sif and the Warriors Three were not the type to lose themselves in a celebration like this.</p>
<p>Thor broke free of them, "Father!"</p>
<p>How could his father let Asgard fall to these depths? Once upon a time, this would've been the kind of revel he would happily fall into, but he had grown. Thor had learned the error of his ways. He learned the lessons he needed to one day be a rightful King. An <em>honorable</em> King. One worthy of ruling Asgard.</p>
<p>"Father!?" Thor cried again.</p>
<p>"<em>Thor Odinson</em>!"</p>
<p>He blinked in surprise as Heimdall slammed a goblet of wine onto the table and rose to greet him. Thor couldn't stop staring at his friend's pale white eyes. Heimdall's greatest strength, his gift of sight, were gone. Golden, warm eyes replaced with milky white ones.</p>
<p>"Heimdall, what happened to you?" Thor questioned.</p>
<p>Heimdall pulled him into a tight hug with a booming laugh, "<em>I am living the good life, my friend! Finally, I can see</em>."</p>
<p>"Your eyes—"</p>
<p>"<em>I can see</em>." Heimdall repeated, cupping Thor's face roughly, "<em>I can see everything, Odinson</em>."</p>
<p>Thor, desperate to understand, grasped the back of his old friend's neck, "Heimdall, where is my father?"</p>
<p>"<em>Odin</em>?" Heimdall laughed loudly. The laugh was cold and put ice in Thor's veins. "<em>He is with your brother and your mother. They stood in the way of your throne, my King</em>!"</p>
<p>Thor shook his head, stumbling back and away from the blind man, "No, no. Loki and my mother's death they weren't…" It hadn't been his fault. It hadn't been his fault. Right? The amusement on Heimdall's face told him otherwise. That was the sad reality though, wasn't it? Thor could've done more. He was <em>Thor</em>. He should've been able to save his mother, to save his brother. "My father isn't dead. I saw him before I left for Midgard. He's protecting Asgard."</p>
<p>"<em>Does Asgard look protected</em>?" Heimdall questioned with arms thrown wide. "<em>You have brought Hel to Asgard, my King. Our streets burn, but our wine flows freely!</em>"</p>
<p>This wasn't the kind of king Thor hoped to one day be. What kind of king couldn't protect? What kind of king let his land burn? Let his <em>people</em> burn? Thor stared out over the stone half wall that separated him from his home. Asgard burned around him. Streets filled with fire and the air was filled with desperate screams and cries of pain. There was nothing the fire didn't touch.</p>
<p>Desperate, Thor spun around and grasped at Heimdall, "I can fix this. I can still save you!"</p>
<p>"<em>Save us!?"</em> Heimdall laughed cruelly again. His dark hands lifted to wrap around Thor's neck. Thor couldn't breathe, but he also couldn't let go of him. It couldn't be too late. Heimdall's smile turned to something angry and mean, teeth bared, "<em>You can't save us! We're already dead! Don't you see!?"</em></p>
<p>Heimdall shoved him away, and Thor could now see. The dancers had fallen to the ground motionless. Sif's red robes turned to blood as she lay on the ground looking up at the sky but not seeing. Volstagg, Frandal, and Hogun were only steps away lying in their own pools of blood. A crack of lighting startled Thor and he stared down at his hands to see blue light dancing up his arms.</p>
<p>"<em>You're a destroyer, Odinson</em>!" Heimdall yelled and the lightning increased. "<em>See where your power leads you!</em>"</p>
<p>The lightning shot from his fingertips, crackling in the air, and striking Heimdall leaving the blind man as nothing but a pile of dust. Thor screamed out, but his voice was drowned out by the sounds of electricity around him.</p>
<p>A flash of red. A flash of orange. A flash of yellow. A flash of dark blue. A flash of purple. A flash of green.</p>
<p>Heimdall's voice echoed in his head, "<em>The god of thunder is nothing more than a bringer of death!</em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [19:13:23] [-13.46471, 4.099527]</strong>
</p>
<p>The Avengers had taken a lot of bad hits both collectively and individually. It was, unfortunately, part of the job description. This was one of the worst though. Actually, if Clint voiced his own opinion this was without a doubt the <em>absolute</em> worst. Physically, everyone was doing well. They hadn't taken many injuries in that sense so they had that going for them, but the mental blow they took was devastating.</p>
<p>Bruce was curled up in a ball on the small cot they had for medical emergencies. This was the most damage the Hulk had done since Harlem, and the doctor was not taking it well. Steve was sitting stiffly in his seat. He was hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees, and his head bowed low. Only a few feet away, Thor stood, leaning against the wall, with his gaze unfocused. Natasha was sitting on the floor, back to the wall and knees pulled into her chest, with a face of stone. She wouldn't speak to him. Hell, she could barely look at him.</p>
<p>Things were not looking good.</p>
<p>Tony let out a low whistle and walked over to where Clint was sitting in the pilot's seat. He spoke quietly, "I can't get any of them to talk to me."</p>
<p>"The glowing Maximof did a number on them." Clint replied.</p>
<p>The two were silent for a moment as they stared out the windshield at the dark sky ahead of them. Clint had set a course to the only safe house he could think of going to right now to hide and lick their wounds. Still, it would take most of the night for them to get there. At the fastest speed they still wouldn't get there until early morning tomorrow.</p>
<p>"Aj called me while I was in Veronica." Tony said.</p>
<p>Clint's head snapped to look at him, "Is she okay?"</p>
<p>Tony nodded in reassurance, "Yeah. She saw us on the news and panicked. Just wanted to check in. I couldn't talk to her much on account of the Hulk trying to tear my head off."</p>
<p>"I was going to call her soon anyways. Let her know that we won't be making it back to the Tower." Clint replied. The plan had been to use the Tower as HQ on the Ultron hunt while Aj and Beth stayed at the Compound safe and sound. Then when Ultron was six feet under, or in this case wiped off the face of the Earth, they would move to the Compound officially. "You should get some sleep, Stark."</p>
<p>Tony clapped him on the shoulder, "You need some too. Want me to take controls?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine for now. I'll switch out later." Clint said, and based off the look Tony shot him the genius knew Clint didn't plan on switching out at all. Luckily, Tony wasn't in the mood to argue and drifted away from the cockpit. A soft sigh slipped Clint's lips as he let his mind drift away for just a second. Things could've gone so much better today, but he had to remind himself that it also could've gone so much worse.</p>
<p>"<em>JAR</em>—" Clint began but stopped. A lump in his throat made him realize what the loss of JARVIS actually meant. It hadn't actually hit him until now. He shook his head, "FRIDAY, call Aj Bradshaw for me."</p>
<p>"<em>Of course, Mr. Barton</em>!" FRIDAY's calm, feminine voice replied.</p>
<p>The phone rang for a little bit too long. Clint actually felt his nerves begin to fray toward the end of the sixth ring, but then Aj's voice came through the speakers to him, "Clint?"</p>
<p>"Hey, kid." Clint sighed in relief. "You okay?"</p>
<p>"I should be asking you that, Clint. I saw Bruce on the news and…"</p>
<p>"We're alive." Clint said.</p>
<p>He could picture the look of worry and annoyance on her face when she spoke again, "I'm happy to hear that, but that's not entirely what I meant. Clint… Are you guys okay?"</p>
<p>Clint turned in his seat slightly to see that nobody had moved an inch from the position they chose in the quinjet. He bit back another defeated sigh and turned back around, "We… We took a hit today, kid. A pretty bad one."</p>
<p>Aj cursed over the line and for a second neither said anything. Finally, Aj began to talk again, "What can I do? Do they need to talk? Just put them on the line and I'll—"</p>
<p>"They're not really in a talking mood yet." Clint said. He shook his head, "Don't worry about us. We always bounce back."</p>
<p>"Clint, that's not as comforting as you might think it is."</p>
<p>He chuckled, "Fair enough. Hey, I also needed to tell you that we aren't gonna make it back to the Tower tonight. We're on route to a safe house right now."</p>
<p>"Clint…"</p>
<p>"Just—Just focus on the PR work for us. We made a big mess for you to clean up." Clint tried to joke, but he didn't hear the woman laugh. He continued, "Just promise me you'll stay in the Compound." It was quiet for a second too long. Clint felt his heart clench at the thought of Ultron getting to her. "Aj?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, okay. I will, Clint. Don't worry about me. Just focus on y'all."</p>
<p>They shared a quiet goodbye where she made him promise to bring them all home safe and sound then the line went dead. Clint leaned back in his seat, but only for a moment. He sat back up, "FRIDAY, call Coulson."</p>
<p>Clint didn't have to wait as long for him to answer. The agent's voice answered, "Coulson."</p>
<p>"It's Barton. Where are we on Strucker, Eugene, and the Reaper?"</p>
<p>"I have a team of agents on Eugene in California. They're following his movements and so far he hasn't left LA at all. The moment he steps off Hollywood Boulevard though I'll know it."</p>
<p>"I want to know it a second after you." Clint said. "The others?"</p>
<p>Coulson cleared his throat, "We tracked them to Germany, but then they split up."</p>
<p>"Strucker and the Reaper parted ways?"</p>
<p>"Looks like it. The enhanced kids spilt a while ago, you know that—" Clint nodded along as he spoke, "—but around 1300 today Vincent Morgan went his own way with a group of his own men. Looks like they're heading to Romania. I have Daisy, Mac, and Fitzsimmons tracking them. May, Hunter, Bobbi, and I are staying on Strucker. He's moving to Greece for some reason and we're looking for an opening to cut him off."</p>
<p>Clint sat on this knowledge for a moment. He had zero guesses as to why Vincent was in Romania. He had less than zero guesses on why Strucker needed to be in Greece. Clint assumed the kids left Strucker to join Ultron because his goal of murdering the Avengers aligned with what they wanted. That meant Strucker and Vincent had a different goal? Strucker was still working on something, experimenting with enhancements and the super soldier serum, and Vincent wanted Aj.</p>
<p>It was like they had collected all these puzzle pieces but had no idea where to start putting them together.</p>
<p>"How are you doing on your side, Barton?"</p>
<p>Clint slumped in his seat, "We've been better, Coulson. We've been better."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [05:26:02] [38.78303, -79.716887]</strong>
</p>
<p>Steve hadn't known he fell asleep until the quinjet landing jarred him awake. He lifted his head to see Clint jumping out of the pilot's seat and grabbing his gear. The windshield showed early morning light, the sun must've just started rising.</p>
<p>"Where are we?" Steve asked and rose to his feet. He had spent enough time stuck in his head. He needed to focus back on the mission on hand.</p>
<p>Clint pulled Natasha off the ground carefully, "Safe house."</p>
<p>"Yeah, we got that part." Tony replied and activated the quinjet's ramp.</p>
<p>The group of them walked out of the quinjet at a slow pace. The jet was surrounded by dense trees and it took a few minutes of walking down a dirt path to get to their destination. It was a farmhouse. Two-story, white, and older in style. A wrap around porch surrounded the home. Enough light had filled the sky to make the entire scene clear, but the surrounding yard was still covered in a layer of dew and mist.</p>
<p>"Where the hell are we?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"It's not much of a safe house if I give out the location is it?" Clint replied. "Come on."</p>
<p>Clint led them across the yard and up onto the porch. Steve still felt tense, his shoulders ached from it, but he followed the archer without hesitation. Clint opened the door and pushed inside with the others right behind him. Inside was just as warm and homey as the outside. The living room was to the right and in front of them was a hallway and the staircase that led upstairs.</p>
<p>"<em>Honey, I'm home</em>!" Clint yelled loudly and Steve shot him a look of confusion. Seconds later an arrow hit the wall right by Clint's head. Steve ripped the shield off his back at the ready. Everyone other than Clint and Natasha seemed ready for a firefight. Clint waved his hands at them, "It's okay, she's a friend."</p>
<p>"Friend is a strong word right now." A woman's voice replied. Emerging from what Steve assumed was the kitchen was a brunette woman. She was young, 20 or 21 at the most if he had to guess, and her hair was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail. She had on a tank top, jeans, a flannel around her waist, and in her hands was a bow. "You've had me in this <em>damn</em> safe house for <em>months</em>. We are not friends until you clear me, Barton."</p>
<p>Tony was the first to speak up, he lifted one hand, "I, uh, I have a few questions."</p>
<p>Clint crossed the space to open his mouth, but a blur of golden fur sprinted into the room and slammed into his legs. Clint stumbled, but had nothing but a grin on his face as he greeted the dog, "<em>Lucky</em>!" He rubbed behind the golden retriever's ears as he cooed, "At least one of you missed me."</p>
<p>"<em>Clint</em>." Steve said firmly.</p>
<p>"Oh, right." Clint jumped up and pulled the woman into an unwilling side hug, "Guys, this is Hawkeye."</p>
<p>There was a beat of awkward silence.</p>
<p>Finally, Tony groaned, "Jesus, there's two of them."</p>
<p>"How can <em>she</em> be Hawkeye if <em>you're</em> Hawkeye?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"It's a remembrance thing. In honor of me, you know?"</p>
<p>"Don't you have to be dead before you get people naming things in honor of you?" Bruce added.</p>
<p>Clint scoffed, "Can't you guys let me have anything?!"</p>
<p>Suddenly, the girl's dark brown eyes widened, "Holy shit, wait, you're—you're the <em>Avengers</em>."</p>
<p>They all sheepishly raised a hand to greet her. Clint turned to look at her skeptically, "How are you <em>just now</em> noticing that? Your observational skills are still <em>shit</em>."</p>
<p>"Well, you're my mentor so I get that from you." She snapped back. Steve lifted his hand to cover his mouth as he cleared his throat. The girl glanced back at him and quickly crossed the space to offer her hand to him, "I'm so sorry. My name is Kate Bishop. It's an honor to meet you guys. Clint's told me a lot and, also, you're like all famous. I follow you guys on Insta."</p>
<p>She went down the line and shook the hand of everyone before backpedaling away from them. The dog, Lucky, circled around her once before sitting by her side. Steve glanced around the space they were in again. This was a really weird way to start this day.</p>
<p>Tony dropped down onto the couch with a groan, "You know, Barton, when you dragged us in here the last thing I expected was an arrow shooting teenager."</p>
<p>"<em>I'm 20</em>." Kate mumbled under her breath.</p>
<p>Clint scoffed and sat down into the single seat recliner. Lucky left Kate's side to jump onto his lap making the man grunt as the large dog settled on top of him. He shook his head, "What were you expecting? A wife and three kids?"</p>
<p>Kate laughed loudly, "In order for that to happen it would mean some poor woman had to be <em>dumb </em>enough to have sex with this idiot three times."</p>
<p>Tony smirked, "Oh, I like you."</p>
<p>"She's my girlfriend." Clint said proudly while pointing at Natasha.</p>
<p>The red head gave the girl a small smile, "Unfortunately, he's my idiot."</p>
<p>"So… I just inferred… that the Black Widow was dumb?" Kate said slowly. She nodded her head once, "Yeah, I'm just gonna go <em>kill myself</em> in the kitchen. Help yourselves to anything."</p>
<p>Kate spun on her heel and hurried to the kitchen as Clint laughed. Steve noticed Thor turn to the door on his left and watched as the god stormed out suddenly. He glanced back at Natasha who shrugged then quickly followed after the blond.</p>
<p>"Thor?" Steve set his shield onto his back again and jogged down the porch steps.</p>
<p>Thor paused and turned around to look at him, "I saw something. A vision."</p>
<p>"Wanda made us all see things." Steve said and tried not to let his own mind slip back into his nightmare.</p>
<p>Thor shook his head, "I need answers, Rogers. I won't find them here."</p>
<p>Steve wanted to argue, try to keep him here to rest with the others, but he had nothing to say to convince the god. Thor gave him a quick nod then with the spinning of Mjolnir he disappeared into the sky. Steve set his hands on his belt and closed his eyes. Today was supposed to be a good day. He had made plans with Aj weeks ago to spend this day in Brooklyn sightseeing. It was Bucky's birthday. As much as he tried to shove that fact to the back of his head, to focus only on Ultron on the mission, it wouldn't stay back there. Nothing would. It was like Wanda Maximof had reached into his head and ripped the door off the closet where he kept all those dreaded thoughts. Now anytime he tried to stick something back there it just tumbled forward pathetically.</p>
<p>He slowly turned, set on going back inside, but instead he found himself staring at the house in front of him. This had been his dream once upon a time. Finding his dance partner, settling down, getting a nice home in the countryside. White picket fence, 3.5 kids, the family dog. Captain America had craved the typical American dream for as long as he could remember. Was that in his future though? Steve wanted to walk forward, but part of him was scared that if he reached forward his hand would hit another invisible barrier. He knew that was a foolish thought. He had just been inside, but it hit him all the same.</p>
<p>A man built for war, a man who couldn't get the war out of his head, didn't get to enjoy this kind of life in the countryside.</p>
<p>"<em>We can go home</em>." Peggy's voice whispered behind him.</p>
<p>Steve turned back around and walked away.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [06:21:51] [38.78303, -79.716887]</strong>
</p>
<p>Clint had set up this safe house ages ago. SHIELD had stocked it with furniture and all the furnishings it needed. He had only been here a handful of times though. The last time was four months ago when he dropped off Kate Bishop. Based on the way she was glaring at him, she was still upset about that.</p>
<p>"Say it." Clint sighed as he stripped out of his gear.</p>
<p>Kate, who had been leaning against the doorframe, stormed into the room. Her ponytail swishing around her head angrily, "132 days. I've been here for <em>132 days</em>. What the hell, Barton?"</p>
<p>"I left Lucky with you for company." Clint shrugged.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to shoot you again?"</p>
<p>"You missed." Clint reminded her. She rolled her eyes and he continued, "I know you weren't happy with this decision, but it was for your own safety. We got rid of the Matador—"</p>
<p>Kate groaned, "Can we just call him by his name? Manuel Eloganto?"</p>
<p>"The man picked a villain name for his career the least we can do is honor it. Especially since we blew up his office and, you know, <em>killed</em> him." Clint replied. Kate didn't reply. "He might be gone, but others are still after you. I did this to protect you, Kate."</p>
<p>She crossed her arms in annoyance, "You say that and it makes me feel bitchy for being angry." Clint shrugged and she scoffed. "Still, do you know what being alone for four months can do to a girl? I was a day away from painting a face on a volleyball."</p>
<p>"I left Lucky with you!" Clint argued.</p>
<p>A knock on the doorframe made them look over. Natasha stood there freshly showered and in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Kate chuckled sheepishly and gave her a slight wave, "Hi! Black Widow. I've heard great things, and I, uh, wanna just apologize for what I said earlier."</p>
<p>"It's fine. It's nice to finally meet you. Clint told me about you." Natasha replied and Kate looked starstruck by the idea that the redhead knew about her. Clint told Natasha about everything so of course he would mention the arrow wielding child he adopted a year and a half ago. This was the first time he got around to introducing them though. "Mind if I steal him for a bit?"</p>
<p>"Please! By all means!" Kate replied and began to leave the room, "I sure as hell don't wanna talk to him anymore."</p>
<p>"Rude." Clint said and she stuck her tongue out at him before disappearing down the stairs.</p>
<p>Natasha shut the door softly and crossed the room to reach him. She set her hands hesitantly on his arms. Clint hated the look of pain etched on her face. He lifted his own hands to cup her face and spoke the only Russian he knew, "<em>I love you. Return to me</em>."</p>
<p>She set her hands on top of his and met his gaze. In English, she pleaded, "Tell me where I belong."</p>
<p>"You belong right beside me." Clint replied softly. He didn't have to ask her what fear Wanda pulled out of her. He knew. He knew that Natasha was terrified that deep down she would always have that Red Room mindsight. She was terrified that she would betray the people she loved. Hurt them. As if she could. Clint knew Natasha would bite a bullet before letting any of her loved ones get hurt.</p>
<p>Natasha took in a steadying breath, "I belong by you. My place is <em>with you</em>."</p>
<p>"Damn straight, baby." Clint winked. He was rewarded with her lips twitching up into a small smile. "You're my <em>ride or die</em>."</p>
<p>She chuckled, "You are <em>so</em> dumb, you know that?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, but you love it."</p>
<p>"I do." Natasha's voice wavered for only a second. She leaned forward and pressed her lips tightly against his. <em>Desperately</em>. Natasha pulled back just so she could whisper, "I love you. I do. I <em>really</em> love you, Clint."</p>
<p>Clint dropped his hands to her hips and traced them back so he could grab her thighs. Natasha responded and jumped just as he lifted her up. Her legs tightened around his abdomen as her hands tightened around his neck. Clint captured her lips in a kiss and carried her over to where the bed was. They fell onto it in a heap and Clint grunted when he landed on one of his larger bruises. Natasha's hands tracing the skin under his shirt was a good distraction from the pain though. Her hand ran across his side where Helen had used the portable cradle to fix him up. She leaned out of the kiss to smirk at him, "I can feel the difference."</p>
<p>Clint chuckled and flipped them over to press her into the bed.</p>
<p>God, he loved this woman.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [16:39:37] [38.78303, -79.716887]</strong>
</p>
<p>Tony had taken a quick shower then changed into some spare clothes the safe house had. He was literally wearing flannel right now and if Aj saw this she would never let him live it down. Tony would be more than content raiding the fridge then crashing on the couch to use his phone to try and find Ultron's next move. It was both relaxing and productive.</p>
<p>However, on his way to the kitchen he had looked out the window and spotted Steven Grant Rogers chopping wood as if his life depended on it. Tony knew turmoil when he saw it, and this was Steve's version of whiskey and loud AC/DC in the lab.</p>
<p>"So, Thor didn't say where he was going for answers? Or when he might be back? <em>Or anything at all?</em>?" Tony asked and grabbed another log to set on the tree stump. It was midafternoon now and hot as hell. He had tied the flannel around his waist, and he hated that Steve wasn't even breaking a sweat as he worked in his blue t-shirt and jeans.</p>
<p>Steve shrugged and grabbed his own log, "Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things." Tony had to physically resist the urge to roll his eyes. He knew it wouldn't help. "You and Banner with Ultron, Clint and his archer daughter in a farmhouse, and now Thor…"</p>
<p>"Ok, first off, I already apologized for the Ultron thing. <em>Sort of</em>. It was settled at the very least." Tony replied and Steve scoffed. "Second, <em>of course</em> Clint has a secret safe house with a secret adopted daughter. The guy's probably got <em>twelve</em> more houses with <em>twelve</em> more kids. It's his hobby. And Thor?" Tony slammed his axe down into the log splitting it. "Who knows what Wanda Maximof showed him."</p>
<p>Steve cut his log into two and then moved to grab another. He ended up cutting three more logs before speaking again, "Maybe you're right, Tony."</p>
<p>The words made Tony miss the log he was trying to cut entirely, and the axe got stuck in the stump. He tried to tug it upward, failed, and then decided to focus on the doppelgänger he was talking to because there was <em>no way</em> this was his Steve.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. Wanna run that by me again?"</p>
<p>"Don't make me repeat myself. It was hard enough the first time."</p>
<p>"Yeah, should've recorded that, but right about <em>what</em> exactly?" Tony pressed.</p>
<p>Steve stopped, his gaze on the log and the axe in his hand, and shook his head, "I'm stuck. Everybody is moving forward, growing, and I'm getting left behind. I'm a soldier out of his time and that isn't going to change. I can't trust my own opinion if all I can think of is the battle I'm stuck in."</p>
<p>Tony tried to pull his axe out again, but it didn't budge. He sighed, "Look, you know I <em>love</em> being right—" Steve shot him a look. "—but I'm not. About <em>this</em> at least. Neither of us are right, I think. We talked about this, Steve. We need someone looking to the future—" He motioned to himself, then pointed to Steve. "—but we also need someone focused on the here and now, and nobody does that better than you do. Unfortunately for both of us, I think we're destined to just argue over this forever, but somehow I think it'll balance the world out?"</p>
<p>"Great." Steve replied dryly.</p>
<p>"And you're not stuck, <em>dumbass</em>." Tony added and Steve's eyes shot to his. "You've made a life for yourself here in this century. You found a home, you found a family… Hell, you're even trying to get yourself a girlfriend which I still <em>strongly</em> disapprove of, by the way." Steve looked surprised for a second and he wondered if this was the first he had heard about Tony not liking the whole Steve and Aj thing. Usually he just argued with Clint about it. "Is that what Wanda put in your head?"</p>
<p>Steve nodded once, "I'll <em>always</em> be a soldier. Even when the war ends."</p>
<p>"So what? You're a soldier. So is Sam. He seems pretty cool when he's not eating my gummy snacks."</p>
<p>"This is all I'm built for." Steve argued. "Even if we do finally get the opportunity to retire, which at this rate we won't, but…I don't think I could ever leave the war behind. I think I'm just gonna get left behind."</p>
<p>Tony thought it was funny. He knew him and Steve were opposites. That was blatantly obvious. They disagreed on nearly <em>everything</em>. They did have this in common though. Steve was afraid of being left behind. Tony was afraid of being the last man standing. They shared the same fear.</p>
<p>Neither of them wanted to be alone.</p>
<p>"I think you'd be surprised." Tony said firmly. Determined to get his friend out of his own thick head. Steve stared at him intently and he just shrugged in response. "All I know is you are the most stubborn, hard-headed, goal orientated jackass I've ever met."</p>
<p>Steve motioned to him, "Well, thanks."</p>
<p>"And I mean it as a compliment." Tony finished. "I think right now it's hard for you to picture ever being able to let it go but that's because our lives are <em>battle after battle</em>. That's my fault right now. I fucked up." Tony admitted. "But one day, it's gonna be quiet, and I think you'll find it really easy to walk away. You just gotta wait for the right moment."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled once and nodded. He went back to chopping wood, but the air was less tense around the man for now. Steve tossed his axe down and went to grab another log, "You know sometimes you're pretty smart, Stark."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, <em>sometimes</em>?" Tony replied. He pointed to his axe, "Come over here and use your <em>dumbass </em>brawn to get this axe out of the stump for me."</p>
<p>Steve smirked and ripped the log in his hands into two separate pieces before walking over and pulling the axe out of the stump with absolute ease. Tony just stared at him for a minute before shaking his head, "You're such a fucking show-off. <em>Who</em> are you even trying to impress?"</p>
<p>"Aj called me a show-off once."</p>
<p>"Yeah, we <em>all</em> have because you <em>are</em> one." Tony scoffed. He snatched the axe out of Steve's hand but then just used it to lean against. There was enough wood here to heat the fireplace of this house for 100 years. Steve was still cutting though. Tony cleared his throat, "Today's his birthday isn't it?"</p>
<p>Steve's axe faltered and the log was cut unevenly. He glanced up at Tony in surprise, "How'd you know?"</p>
<p>"I pay attention." Tony shrugged. "You know, I designed an arm for your elderly partner in crime."</p>
<p>Steve's moments stilled and he straightened up, "What?"</p>
<p>"I designed him an arm." Tony repeated. Tony knew that Steve was the kind of guy, the kind of friend, who would tear the world apart for someone he loved. So, the question of finding Bucky was more of a '<em>when</em>?' rather than an <em>'if</em>?' in his mind. Tony liked being prepared and from what he saw in video footage the arm HYDRA gave him was <em>abysmal</em>. "I mean, it's only a blueprint. I gotta actually see what the hell HYDRA did to his shoulder, but I have a skeleton to work off of once you bring him home. And you will, you know."</p>
<p>There was a brief flash of guilt that crossed Steve's face. Tony assumed it was because he felt bad about any digs the man had shot at him before the admission. It was gone as quick as it had come though.</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>…" Steve began.</p>
<p>"Come on, you know I don't do chick flick moments and I'm sure as hell not gonna make an exception for you." Tony replied and held his hand out. "Now give me the axe and go take a shower. You <em>reek</em>."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled and handed him the axe. He took only a step away before pausing, "We're '<em>Earth's Mightiest Heroes'</em> and one enhanced girl tore us apart like cotton candy. Where do we go from here?"</p>
<p>Sometimes he forgot that Steve was young. Yes, he was born in 1918 and that technically made him 97 years old, but mentally Steve was still in his twenties. He was mature for his age. Being raised in the Great Depression and then being brought into a war had made sure of that, but at the end of the day Steve was still just <em>27</em>. When Tony was 27 he was spending every other day drunk off his ass and buried between the legs of the girl of the week. <em>That's what the twenties were</em> <em>for</em>. Making stupid ass decisions, having fun, and maybe finding yourself along the way.</p>
<p>"Aj told me something once. She said… the moment when she hits the floor for what her opponent thinks is the last time… that's when she does her best work. It's the time when they don't expect her to get up that she's the most dangerous." Tony said. He shrugged. "I teased her for it, but maybe she's onto something. We hit the ground hard, we'll get back up and hit Ultron back even harder. <em>Together</em>."</p>
<p>Steve nodded once then turned and continued toward the house. Kate who had been sitting on the porch facing them sat up a little higher, "Wait, are you guys done chopping wood?"</p>
<p>Tony chuckled and made his way toward the barn to put the axes up. The wooden building wasn't far from the house at all and inside looked like a typical farmhouse barn. There was hay, a tractor, farm tools, a one-eyed missing director of SHIELD, and—<em>wait</em>.</p>
<p>He glanced over his shoulder then looked forward again to where Nick Fury was leaning against a tractor. He had on a long black coat, one that wasn't leather like his past one had been, a ratty gray sweater, jeans, and a black beanie over his head.</p>
<p>Tony pointed at him with an axe, "Were you just standing in here waiting for someone to walk in? That's creepy, patchy."</p>
<p>"I was waiting for you."</p>
<p>"And you picked <em>a barn?"</em> Tony scoffed.</p>
<p>Nick Fury pushed off the tractor and stepped aside to motion to it, "I figured you'd make it in here eventually. Try to bring the tractor to life or some shit."</p>
<p>Tony chuckled to hide his grimace. He should've known Nick was just here to rip him a new one. He crossed his arms, "Who called you? Hill?"</p>
<p>"<em>Artificial Intelligence</em>." Nick whistled, ignoring his question entirely. The man stepped forward and pointed at him. "You never even hesitated."</p>
<p>"Look, it's been a really long day." Tony replied then mumbled under his breath, "<em>A long week actually.</em>" He pointed to the door behind him. "So, can we just skip the lecture, say I learned something from it, and go get a drink? You gotta meet Clint's arrow kid. She's <em>hilarious</em>."</p>
<p>Nick took another step closer and Tony took that as a resounding '<em>no'</em> to his suggestion. The man shook his head, "Look me in the eye and tell me you're going to shut him down."</p>
<p>"You're not the director of me." Tony shot back and he was fully aware that he sounded like a toddler on the playground arguing with some other kid.</p>
<p>Nick shook his head, "I know I'm not. I'm just an old man…" He sat down on a bale of hay in front of him and laced his fingers together, "…who cares <em>very</em> much about you."</p>
<p>There was a lot of things Tony expected Nick to say. He expected yelling, some cursing, jabs at his character, but this? This was honestly worse. Tony knew Nick cared. The guy was distant, never came around for family dinners, but there was no doubt he cared about this rag tag group of idiots. If he ever needed actual evidence of that it was in the man's eye right now. Tony felt like a disappointment, but that's what he was right now so maybe it was apt.</p>
<p>Tony glanced away, swallowing the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, and nodded once, "And <em>I'm</em> the man who killed the Avengers." Nick's features didn't change. "I saw it. I didn't tell the team. How could I?" Tony threw his hand out, motioning to nothing. "I saw them all dead, Nick. I <em>felt</em> it. The whole world too."</p>
<p>At the words, Tony felt that cold sweat build up at the back of his neck. He could smell the smoke from the world burning in front of him. Tony turned on his heel to put some distance between him and Nick's steady gaze. He found himself in front of a small workbench and his hands reached out for a wrench. It helped to just have something in his hands. Something that grounded him. Tony leaned against the bench and looked back over at Nick.</p>
<p>"And it was because of <em>me</em>." Tony said firmly, bouncing the wrench against his palm. Admitting the truth aloud. "I wasn't ready. I didn't do all I could."</p>
<p>Nick stood up, sticking his hands into his coat pockets, "The Maximof girl, she's working you, Tony. Playing on your fear—"</p>
<p>"<em>I wasn't tricked</em>!" Tony snapped. "I was <em>shown</em>. It <em>wasn't</em> a nightmare, it was my <em>Goddamn</em> legacy. The end of the path <em>I</em> started us on."</p>
<p>Nick came closer, "You come up with some pretty impressive inventions, Tony." He shook his head, glancing away, but Nick continued. "<em>War isn't one of them</em>."</p>
<p>Tony felt his jaw clench as he let his eyes drift down to the tool in his hands. He tightened his fist around it and tried to keep his voice as steady as he could, "I watched my friends die. <em>My family</em>. Every single person I love. And—And you think that'd be as bad as it gets, right?" Tony glanced up at Nick and let out a humorless chuckle then shook his head. "<em>Nope</em>. It wasn't the worst part."</p>
<p>"The worst part is that you didn't." Nick finished for him.</p>
<p>Tony turned and threw the wrench back onto the workbench loudly. He set his hands on the edges and leaned forward against it to try and steady himself. His heart was racing. Tony recognized the beginnings of one of his anxiety attacks.</p>
<p>Being the last man standing was his absolute worst nightmare. What did he matter in comparison to Steve? To Natasha? Bruce? Thor? Clint? Any of them. How could he live without Pepper? Without Rhodey? Aj? Harley? Peter? Happy? The fact of the matter was that Tony would choose his death over theirs <em>any day of the damn week</em>. Anything to keep the people he loved safe and breathing. He'd do <em>fucking</em> anything.</p>
<p>A hand clasped his shoulder startling him out of his own head. Tony turned his head to see Nick had crossed the room over to him. The mysterious man gave him a firm nod, "Come on. We need to have a family meeting."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [20:21:48] [38.78303, -79.716887]</strong>
</p>
<p>Dinner had been a quiet affair which isn't something Clint could often say about dinner with the Avengers. Bruce and Natasha, the only two from the Tower who were actually capable of cooking anything, made a pasta meal with the help of Kate. Though Kate mostly just pointed to where all the pots and pans were.</p>
<p>The sun had sunk below the horizon and now everyone was spread around the kitchen area either cleaning or talking. Fury was at the sink drying dishes that Kate washed. Natasha was seated at the kitchen's island counter beside Bruce and across from where Steve was leaning in a doorway with his arms crossed. Tony was also standing, but he was casually throwing darts into a dartboard hanging on the wall. Clint was sitting in a dining room chair that was half set into the kitchen combing his fingers through Lucky's fur as the dog laid his head lazily on his thigh.</p>
<p>"So, there are a few things to discuss here." Fury said while setting down a dried plate. He turned and set his phone out onto the island counter for everyone to see. "I figure we can start with the <em>baby</em> Avenger."</p>
<p>Steve raised an eyebrow at this, but Clint nodded once in understanding, "What about Aj?"</p>
<p>"I figured you guys weren't paying much attention to the news. This hit the media sometime this afternoon." Fury tapped on his phone and a projection of some news channel filled the air above it. They were talking about Aj, that much was clear from the photo they used, but it took him a second to realize what they were saying exactly.</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck</em>." Tony breathed.</p>
<p>The news anchor was talking to an investigative reporter named Preston Smith and the guy was bringing up all of Aj's murky past. The foster homes, the illegal fighting ring, the multiple arrests. They even brought up a new picture of the woman they knew but it was a headshot from a police station.</p>
<p>"Hey, I follow her on Instagram." Kate pointed at Aj.</p>
<p>Fury glanced beside him, "Who are you again?"</p>
<p>"I'm…I'm <em>Hawkeye</em>. Kate Bishop. We already did introductions like an hour ago, man." Kate replied. "We did dishes together." Fury shrugged nonchalantly and Clint cleared his throat to hide a laugh. Kate went back to the dishes and mumbled, "No respect in this house."</p>
<p>Natasha was the next to speak up, "She probably didn't take that well, but we knew someone would dig out that information eventually. I hate to say it, but maybe it'll take the focus off what happened in Johannesburg with the Hulk."</p>
<p>"Oh no, they're using her criminal history as a way to try and say that the Avengers are an organization of thugs that hire from the pool of people they should be putting in jail." Fury retorted.</p>
<p>Steve dipped his head down, taking a deep breath, and when he lifted his head again Clint could see the barely concealed rage in the Captain's eyes. Clint cleared his throat, "Aj is a PR wizard. She'll deal with it. Let's focus on the real issue here. Ultron."</p>
<p>Fury bobbed his head once in agreement, "Well you're going to hate this information even more." There was a collective groan around the table and Tony threw a dart at the board hitting the outer rim. "Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. "My contacts all say he's building something and with the amount of vibranium he made off with I don't think it's just one thing."</p>
<p>"What about Ultron himself?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"Oh, he's easy to track." Fury turned away from the sink, throwing the kitchen towel over his shoulder and setting his hands on the island counter, "He's everywhere. The guy is multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit, but it still doesn't help us get an angle on any of his plans though."</p>
<p>Tony threw another dart, it hit middle near the center but didn't stick, "Is he still going after launch codes?"</p>
<p>"Yes, he is." Fury answered. "But he's not making any headway."</p>
<p>Tony turned around from the board with a shrug, "I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in high school on a dare."</p>
<p>Fury shot the man a light glare, "Well, I contacted our friends at the Nexus about that."</p>
<p>"Nexus?" Steve asked.</p>
<p>Bruce was the one to answer, "It's the world Internet hub in Oslo. Every byte of data flows through there. Fastest access on Earth."</p>
<p>"And what did the Nexus nerds say?" Clint questioned and scooped up a lost dart on the floor by his foot.</p>
<p>"He's fixated on the missiles." Fury said. Clint waited until Tony walked up to the board to pull out the darts he had managed to stick. When he raised his hand, Clint threw his dart from where he sat and it hit the dead center with ease. Tony flinched and turned to glare back at him. Clint shot him a smirk and just shrugged. They needed to get a dart board at the new Compound. "But the codes are constantly being changed."</p>
<p>Tony threw his darts aside with a glare and stepped closer into the room, "By whom?"</p>
<p>"Parties unknown."</p>
<p>"Do we have an ally?" Natasha asked. It sure as hell sounded like it to Clint, and considering they were desperate for a little help he wouldn't turn down their mystery ally. Hell, he'd by them a bouquet of flowers.</p>
<p>Fury pointed at her, "Ultron's got an enemy. That's not the same thing."</p>
<p>"Still, I'd pay folding money to know who it is." Tony stuck his hands into his pocket with a tilt of his head. "I might need to visit Oslo. Find our unknown."</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head then raised an eyebrow in Fury's direction, "This has been a real blast, boss, but I was kind of hoping when I saw you, you'd have more than that."</p>
<p>"I do." Fury scoffed then motioned around the room. "I have you."</p>
<p>"That's an <em>inspiring</em> line." Kate clapped her hands a couple of times. Eyes shot to her and she sheepishly pointed to the door, "I'm just gonna take Lucky out. Let you guys talk."</p>
<p>She whistled and Lucky bounded away from Clint to follow Kate out the back door. Fury glanced around the room again, "Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere. Ears, everywhere else. You kids had all the tech you could dream up." Fury walked around the counter. "Here we all are, back on Earth, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world. Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. Now whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All of this—" He motioned around the room. "—laid in a grave."</p>
<p>Fury took the time to meet the gaze of everyone in the room.</p>
<p>"<em>So stand</em>." He said firmly. "Outwit the <em>platinum bastard</em>." There was a pause where everyone soaked in that statement. Clint rested his elbows on his knees. "What does Ultron want?"</p>
<p>Steve pushed off the wall, "To become better. Better than us. He keeps building bodies."</p>
<p>"<em>Person</em> bodies." Tony added. "The human form is inefficient. Biologically speaking, we're outmoded, but he keeps coming back to it."</p>
<p>Natasha leaned back in her seat, "When you two programmed him to protect the human race, you <em>amazingly</em> failed."</p>
<p>Tony opened his mouth to retort, but Bruce's calm voice interrupted him, "They don't need to be protected." Eyes shifted to look at him. "They need to <em>evolve</em>. Ultron's going to evolve."</p>
<p>"How?" Fury demanded.</p>
<p>There was a beat of silence then Bruce's eyes widened a fraction, "Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?"</p>
<p>There was a flurry of movement as Tony pulled out his phone and stepped away to try and get in contact with the Korean woman. Bruce began to catch Fury up on the Regeneration Cradle and all of Helen's work. Clint glanced over to where Steve had taken out his own phone to look at it. The Captain frowned and stuck it back in his pocket.</p>
<p>"Bad news?" Clint questioned.</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "It was from Sam. Bad news on Bucky, but…that's not really important right now."</p>
<p>"Course it is. He's important to you." Clint stood to clap Steve on the shoulder in comfort. Everyone knew today was Bucky's birthday and it hit the guy a little harder. "The lead fall through?"</p>
<p>Steve nodded, "Yeah. Everything has been a dead end. Sam's gonna spend tomorrow looking some more, but if he doesn't find anything he's leaving Romania and coming back to New York." Clint felt his shoulders stiffen. "I'd rather he be at the Compound right now anyways with Ultron still out there."</p>
<p>"<em>Mhmm</em>." Clint replied. He slapped his hand down on the broad shoulder once more. "I'm….gonna go make a call of my own. <em>Unrelated</em>."</p>
<p>"Are you okay?" Steve raised an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>"<em>Yupp</em>." Clint said then backpedaled away from Steve and he didn't stop until he was jogging out the front door of the house. Sam was in Romania looking for Bucky. Vincent, who was hunting Aj, was now also suddenly hanging out in Romania. Clint's gut was telling him there was a connection here and he did not like it at all.</p>
<p>He tried to call Aj first, but the call went straight to voicemail. Clint tried four more times with the same response. He cursed under his breath and dialed Daisy's number instead. After a few rings she picked up.</p>
<p>"Clint?"</p>
<p>"You're going after Vincent, right? You're in Romania?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, about that…" Daisy said slowly. "I was gonna call you, but I was waiting to see if I'd have better news. We ran into him today. It ended in a pretty bad fight. If you google '<em>Shootout in Bucharest'</em> you'd see the damage."</p>
<p>Clint had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, "Daisy. Daisy, I need to know. Was Aj there?" It was silent over the line and his hand tightened around the phone. Clint wanted to snap, but instead he gritted his teeth and repeated himself as quietly as he could manage. "<em>Daisy, is Aj in Romania</em>!?"</p>
<p>"Yes." Daisy replied and Clint lifted a hand to cover his eyes in frustration. She was grounded forever. He was going to build a shed out back and lock Aj in it every single time they had to leave for a mission. "She told me not to tell you guys—"</p>
<p>"<em>Where is she now</em>?"</p>
<p>Daisy hesitated again and Clint was a second from losing his mind. She finally answered, "I don't know. We lost her in the fray."</p>
<p>"What the <em>hell</em> do you mean you <em>lost her in the fucking fray, Daisy</em>!?"</p>
<p>"She was with some guy. I don't know who, but…" Daisy sighed. "I tried to grab her, drag her with us, but she took off after him."</p>
<p>Footsteps made Clint whip around, but it was just Kate walking up to him with Lucky. She was stiff and had concern in her eyes. She could read his tension with ease. Kate raised an eyebrow at him in question.</p>
<p>"Clint, I… We're gonna find her. I promise, but I need to tell you…" Daisy paused before finally spitting it out. "We <em>think</em> she was shot. I'm pretty sure I saw her get hit."</p>
<p>Clint didn't wait for pleasantries. He hung up the phone and immediately turned to Kate. He hated it, but he couldn't put a hold on the Ultron thing to go after her. Clint also couldn't tell the others. It would only distract their already shattered minds.</p>
<p>"I need you on a mission." Clint said firmly.</p>
<p>Kate nodded without hesitation, "Name it."</p>
<p>"There's a spare jet parked five miles out from here for emergencies. Get to it and activate the autopilot protocol. All you'll have to do is enter the location and it'll do the rest."</p>
<p>"Where am I going?"</p>
<p>"<em>Bucharest</em>."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. B-SIDE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: HERE IT IS. YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING. I really, really hope it lives up to the hype lolol. It’s long as hell, nearly 22k words, and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear some feeback from y’all. This was a beast and a half to write lol.</p><p>ALSO HUGE NOTE, IN THE PICTURE BELOW THE MIDDLE ART BELONGS TO @sweet.jester !!! I just added a little background behind it but all art props go to her and her amazing talent!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>“When he felt her fingers, he flinched; he had not been touched with such gentleness since his childhood. He was no stranger to women and had felt their hands on all parts of his body, but her touch made him feel like he belonged some place.” –Melina Marchetta (Finnikin of the Rock)</em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [14:09:11] [45.657976, 25.601198]</strong>
</p><p>“<em>Hey! Wow, I was really hoping you’d pick up the phone, hah. That’s okay though. So, um, funny story. Last night’s party was a total shit show, that’s why I didn’t call FYI, but today I—uh—well, like I said, this is so funny you’re going to laugh. I am on my way to Romania? Which, I don’t know if you know this but when you’re not on a quinjet the travel time is like 10 hours. Absolutely ridiculous, right? I’ve been spoiled. Um, back to my earlier point… I know about where you are and I'm flying there. Well, to the nearest airport at least. Sam found a lead, someone found you and sent it to him, but I…I panicked. It’s a long story I just wanted to warn you. The front counter lady is yelling at me to get on the plane and I—um, well, it’s… 8 in the morning here so I’ll probably be landing in Bucharest at like 6 in the evening so—okay! Jesus, lady, I'm coming!— Sorry. I really gotta go. Um, I’ll either see you soon or I won’t? I thought about it and it’s okay if you don’t wanna see me. That’s on me for panicking and buying a plane ticket I just… I don’t know, be safe and know that someone out there knows where you are, Buck. Okay. Bye.”</em></p><p>The voicemail had ended, but Bucky still hadn’t lowered the phone from his ear. Aj was on her way to <em>Romania</em>? The Avengers let her out of their sight while her <em>psycho abuser</em> was still out and on the loose?? He finally pulled the phone from his ear to check the time. It was 2 in the afternoon right now. She had been in the air for 6 hours already. Bucky mumbled a curse under his breath.</p><p>He should’ve answered the damn phone.</p><p>The thing was, Bucky knew that his location had been compromised. He had felt eyes on him a few days ago, and whoever their lead was hadn’t been subtle. It was why he had spent most of today traveling. He had felt his phone vibrating earlier, but he figured it was just Aj calling about her party last night and that after he found a new spot to hide out he could call her back. <em>Fucking hell.</em></p><p>Bucky hated that he hesitated. He hated that a small voice in the back of his head told him to keep running. He couldn’t be found, not by anyone, and going to pick up Aj at the airport was worse than just being found. It was being <em>seen</em>. It was being seen by blue eyes that knew way too much about him now.</p><p>The line of thought only lasted seconds though.</p><p>Bucky was on the move. Today’s travels had brought him all the way up to Brasov which was a lot further away from Bucharest than his old hiding place. It would take him 4 hours to get to Bucharest now. That just barely gave him enough time. He’d be cutting it real damn close. Bucky stormed up to a man, sitting on his motorcycle talking to a few women, and without saying a word he ripped the guy off his seat. The women screamed, but it didn’t deter him. Bucky took off down the street in a hurry. Stealing a motorcycle from some poor stranger wasn’t the proudest of moments for him, but he needed to be at the airport <em>right now</em>. Aj was coming to Romania, while people roamed the Earth looking to hurt her, and he’d be <em>damned</em> if a single one got their hands on her.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [18:34:21] [44.570732, 26.084412]</strong>
</p><p>Tony Stark absolutely ruined me. My peasant ass had gotten used to quinjets and private planes so sitting in coach between two strangers talking over my head for 10 hours was the literal definition of hell. For most of that time, I contemplated purposefully choking on my complementary peanuts just to get the reprieve of death or unconsciousness. It had to better than this. It was my own fault anyway. When buying the ticket I forgot I was now considered a rich asshole and just picked a coach seat because it was better priced. Then 23 minutes and 17 seconds into the flight when I asked to be bumped up to first class, the stewardess informed me that all first class seats were occupied.</p><p>So, like most tragic instances in my life, I only had myself to blame.</p><p>When the plane finally landed though, and I was free of that cursed, metal tube, it took all my strength not to kiss the Romanian airport floor. The lady behind the desk was already shooting me an odd look and, damn it, I refused to lose what was left of my dignity.</p><p>Just like in Paris, my passport gave me special treatment. I assumed it was a rich person thing and it made going through customs an absolute breeze. I had that going for me in life at least.</p><p>Now, I stood in the main lobby of the airport, not knowing a single word of this language, and also not knowing if Bucky was even going to be here to meet me. Slowly, it began to dawn on me just how poorly I had planned this sub-par, sort of rescue operation. The burner phone felt like a one-hundred-pound weight in my jacket pocket that was calling out to me like a siren. I wanted to grab it, flip it open, and call Bucky, but I couldn’t do that right?</p><p>Obviously if he wasn’t here that should be message enough. I didn’t have any missed calls or texts on it from him. Realistically though, the only thing that really mattered was that Bucky got my message and knew he couldn’t stay wherever he had been. Above all else, I wanted him to be safe. Not that I thought Sam would hurt him if the man found him, but I figured if Sam was that close to finding him that meant HYRDA might be too. At the end of the day, seeing him and convincing him to come home with me would’ve just been an added bonus.</p><p>People bumped into me as I drifted aimlessly around the busy lobby. I felt eyes on the back of my neck, but I figured that was just a bunch of Romanians looking at the lost American girl. I glanced around to look for a sign leading me towards the help desk. The ticket I bought to get here had been one way so now I needed to buy a ticket back. Was it pathetic that I was planning my exit the moment I actually got here? Very much so. That wasn’t lost on me.</p><p>I turned around a corner and spotted a large, noisy crowd gathered under a large plasma screen television mounted on the wall. The news anchor was talking in a panicked fury. I didn’t understand any Romanian, spoken or read, but I did recognize the giant, green behemoth throwing cars down the streets of an unsuspecting city.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>!” I cried out, catching the attention of a few people around me, and dug through my bag for my real phone. With shaking hands, I turned off airplane mode and watched as multiple calls and messages came through. Most of them were from Beth and Maria Hill. The first was asking me to chime in on how to deal with this PR nightmare, and the second was telling me exactly what I needed to say to the public about all of this. I took a screenshot of Maria’s text, sent it to Beth as an answer, then immediately hit the number for Tony Stark.</p><p>The phone rang a few times before Tony picked up.</p><p>
  <em>“Aj? Is everything okay?”</em>
</p><p>“Tony what the <em>hell</em> is going on!? Is Bruce okay? Are all y’all okay?? On the news—”</p><p>“<em>We’re fine. Mission went… well, mission went to hell and that’s putting it nicely</em>.” Tony groaned. “<em>Are you just now hearing about this? Hulk’s been on a rampage for about…12 minutes now? Ish. I was tied up with Ultron and everyone else was…”</em></p><p>I couldn’t exactly tell him that I didn’t notice it before because I was on a plane with no service. Instead, I focused on his second statement, “What about everyone else?”</p><p>“<em>The enhanced girl did a number on them. She’s the reason why Bruce hulked out too.”</em> Tony sighed. He grunted once and I watched as the Veronica suit landed on the street on the television. “<em>Listen, I gotta let you go. Hulk wants to kick my ass. Stay safe</em>.”</p><p>“Be careful.” I said quickly, but the line went dead. On TV, Hulk sprinted down the street and tackled Tony. I spun around so I wasn’t facing the screen. I couldn’t watch. I just couldn’t.</p><p>That feeling of helplessness bubbled up inside of me again. My family was in Africa getting their asses handed to them and I stood in Romania doing absolutely nothing. Was this my life now? Constantly glued to a TV or hidden behind a pillar waiting to see if the people I loved would come back to me? The crowd behind me was getting rowdy, I could hear them talking loudly, but I still couldn’t bring myself to turn around and see what it was.</p><p>With shaking hands, I desperately glanced around the room looking for something in English to help me get where I needed to go. At least if I went back to New York I could work with Beth on this PR train wreck.  Another plus side was that no Avenger knew I had come all the way out here so that meant the only people who knew how pathetic I was, was me and Bucky.</p><p>I tapped my phone against my hand a couple times before sending a couple more texts to Beth telling her what angle to take. Maria Hill was requesting to keep everything vague and to not mention Ultron at all. Beth said Twitter was not being kind to the Hulk right now, and I was almost afraid to check it myself.</p><p>This was a mess. A mess and a bad idea. Two things I exceled at.</p><p>I shoved my phone into my pocket and went back to looking for the front desk. My eyes scanned the room looking at faces. I was mentally trying to pick a Romanian to pull aside and try to get help from. What did a Romanian who also spoke English look like?</p><p>All of that was interrupted when my eyes drifted over a familiar face only to snap back in shock. Across the room from me, straight ahead of me actually, was a tall, broad man in a baseball cap and red henley. He had on a dark blue jacket, black gloves, and he was staring just as intently as I was. Even from here I could see the familiar shade of stormy gray blue eyes.</p><p>Bucky.</p><p>
  <em>It was Bucky.</em>
</p><p>Bucky was <em>here</em>.</p><p>My heart fluttered in my chest and my breath caught in my throat. It was so weird to see him in person. The last time I saw that face, not in a picture, I had been concussed and dying of sepsis. This was better. This was <em>so much</em> better. I was running before I even knew I was running. My body slammed into his and it was like hitting a brick wall. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and buried my face into the crook of his neck. <em>This was Bucky</em>. The man who saved my life. My first real friend in a long time. The man who spent countless nights talking into a shitty flip phone just to stave away my nightmares.</p><p>Bucky’s shoulders were stiff, and I suddenly realized what I was doing. I quickly released his neck and took a huge step back, “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t think. You’re just—<em>You’re here</em>.” His eyes were wide. Bucky’s hair was tied into a low bun under the rim of his hat. There was more scruff on his jawline, and he looked bigger. “You’re… <em>You’re Bucky</em>.”</p><p>A slow smile cracked on his features. He chuckled, glanced down briefly, and then met my eyes again, “Hey, doll.”</p><p>“I didn’t mean to tackle you. I got excited.” I shook my head. “I should’ve asked first but—I—Hey, can I hug you? Again? You can say no. I won’t hold it against you because I know I probably seem a little insane right now. The flight was really, <em>really</em> long.”</p><p>Bucky hesitated for a moment before nodding his head once with the corner of his lip quirked up into a small smile. I pushed myself up onto my toes, wrapped my arms around his neck again, and hugged him tightly. He tensed again, only for a few seconds, and then I felt his arms carefully wrap around me. As if I’d break if he grasped me too tightly. In response, I just held him tighter.</p><p>It was <em>Bucky</em>.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [18:41:12] [44.570732, 26.084412]</strong>
</p><p>He couldn’t remember the last time he hugged someone. In fact, this was the closest Bucky had someone in <em>God</em> knows how long. The entire time he raced here, he knew he was racing to Aj, but seeing her was different. Bucky loved hearing her ramble over the phone but being able to see her eyes light up and see the glow of her smile was <em>so much better</em>. Aj shifted in the hug and when her cheek pressed against his bare neck he sucked in a sharp breath.</p><p>Bucky hated to admit how much he liked the way she felt in his arms. It was honestly pathetic of him. To be reduced to a mental puddle just at the touch of this small, reckless woman. He couldn’t help it though. For the past three months she had become an anchor in his life. Her voice seemed like a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. Something to keep edging him on, and to finally see that light in person? God, he was <em>starstruck</em>.</p><p>“Thanks for coming to pick me up.” She mumbled into his shoulder in an amused tone.</p><p>The words snapped him back to the moment though. He dropped his arms and she responded in turn by pulling away. Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and took a large step back. <em>Distance</em>. He needed to keep distance. He was a cursed man. Everything he touched turned to rubble. For the last 70 years, all his body knew was blood and pain. Aj was relatively safe over the phone, but standing in front of him here? She was in danger. He was dangerous.</p><p>“Are you <em>insane</em>?” Bucky said. He kept his voice soft, but his tone firm.</p><p>She smirked at him and raised a finger to point in his direction, “It’s kinda funny you ask me that because Steve just asked me the same question last night so…”</p><p>Bucky shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, “Aj, I'm serious. Coming here was a <em>mistake</em>. Do the Avengers know you’re here?”</p><p>“I think you know the answer to that question, Bucky.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t have done this. You should’ve just called me, given me the news, and then stayed in New York.” He scolded her, but her smile hadn’t faltered. Aj just beamed up at him. “You have dangerous people after you, I have dangerous people after me, not to mention the fact that I’m—Doll, <em>what</em> are you smiling at?”</p><p>Aj just chuckled and shrugged her shoulders, “I’m just <em>really</em> happy to see you, Bucky.”</p><p>That was all it took. One smile, one line. He felt his stomach flip, and his irritation and worry melted away. Bucky really had gone soft for the dame in front of him if that was all it took. He couldn’t bite back a small smile of his own. Aj saw him break and her grin widened, something he didn’t think was possible.</p><p>She had on plain clothes, something to help her keep under the radar, and Bucky couldn’t help but be amused by the tiny, embroidered ‘<em>Captain America’</em> shield on the front of her baseball cap. Aj still had on his jacket. Just like it had in that cold, Russian bunker, it dwarfed her small frame. Bucky took in the details that he hadn’t really seen before. The tabloids he saw her in didn’t have high quality photos and the last time he saw her in person she was bruised and bloodied. Aj had freckles, light and barely there, they dusted the bridge of her nose. She had a crescent scar under her right eye, and he remembered that wound clearly. He knew it would scar.</p><p>“You’re staring, you know.” Aj teased. She lifted her hands to grip the straps of her bookbag. He saw maroon and gold matching bracelets on either wrist. She rocked onto her heels then forward again, “See something you like?”</p><p>Bucky chuckled and shook his head, “You are <em>just</em> as mouthy in person as you are on the phone.”</p><p>“Well, of course. That’s part of my charm.” She winked.</p><p>“Sure, doll.” He replied. Bucky let his eyes glance around the room nervously again. They were in a very crowded area and that made staying on guard more difficult. He looked back to her, “When’s your flight back home?”</p><p>Her eyes widened, “You’re already trying to get rid of me??”</p><p>“I’m trying to get you to safety.”</p><p>Aj took a step forward, so he was only half a foot away from her now, and tilted her head a bit, “I’m always safe when I'm with you, dummy.”</p><p>“You’re doing it again.” Bucky argued. “Giving me too much credit.”</p><p>“You’re doing it again.” She countered. “Selling yourself short.”</p><p>Bucky took in a slow breath, glanced around again, then settled back on her, “Is there <em>any</em> version of this argument where I win?”</p><p>“Nope.” She popped her ‘<em>p’</em> with a smug grin. He held her gaze and watched as her smile faltered for the first time. Aj tried to maintain it, but it didn’t reach her eyes anymore, “Plus, all my other friends are out fighting a psycho robot and I think staying on the ground to hear an update on them would be better than being blind in the air.”</p><p>Psycho robot? Had she just said <em>psycho robot</em>?? Yeah, never mind, fuck that. She wasn’t leaving his side until he knew for sure that some metal man wasn’t gonna drop out of the sky to hurt her. The future was ridiculous.</p><p>“Come on.” He motioned his head to the side. “Let’s get out of here.”</p><p>Aj shot him a thankful smile and followed him out. Bucky shoved his hands into his coat pocket and stayed a step ahead of her to scan for threats. Halfway to the airport exit he felt a hand loop through his right arm as Aj pulled herself closer. He knew he stiffened at the sudden contact, but she hadn’t seemed to notice it. Bucky glanced over at her to see her walking casually like she hadn’t done anything at all. She must have felt his gaze because Aj glanced up at him curiously.</p><p>It took a second for realization to dawn on her, and the moment it did she ripped her arm away from him. Aj cleared her throat, “Sorry, just a habit.”</p><p>Bucky wanted to tell her it was okay. Human contact was foreign to him these days, but with Aj it didn’t feel so strange. He could get used to it all too easy. However, he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her soft and comforting touch. Bucky was like a sharp edge. A bush of only thistles and thorns. Aj would only bleed if she reached out to him, and Bucky couldn’t stomach the thought of hurting her.</p><p>They quietly left the building and Bucky led her to the parking lot where he left the stolen motorcycle. He didn’t really have an actual plan. He was still just trying to wrap his head around the fact that Aj was standing beside him. <em>Aj</em>. She was actually here. In Romania.</p><p>“Nice bike.” She commented.</p><p>“Thanks, I stole it.” Bucky replied. Aj laughed and he wasn’t sure if it was because his comment was funny or if she just thought he was joking. He got onto the motorcycle and nodded, “It’s late. I figure we should find a place to stay in the city tonight. Lay low then figure out the rest in the morning.” Aj nodded in agreement. “Do you need help getting—”</p><p>Aj stepped forward and got onto the motorcycle behind him. She put her feet out of the way and wrapped her arms around him. More contact, but this time it couldn’t be avoided. Bucky wished he had a helmet to give her. Maybe he should’ve stolen that too. He turned his head to speak.</p><p>“When we turn I need—”</p><p>“Lean when you lean, hang on tight, keep my feet on the footrests, and do not wiggle around.” Bucky turned to meet her eyes and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. “This isn't the first time I've ridden on the back of a motorcycle.”</p><p>Based on the extensive list of rules she knew, he would bet the other person she rode with was Steve. He nodded once then got the bike going. The airport was north of the center of the city and he knew the best place to keep out of sight was going somewhere heavily crowded where they’d be hard to pick out. The sun had already set which was no problem for his eyesight, but he knew Aj was riding blind. It was a shame. Bucharest was actually pretty and after coming back from Paris she talked for days about wanting to travel and see different places around the world.</p><p>Ten minutes into the drive, she tapped on his stomach, “<em>Bucky</em>!”</p><p>“Are you okay?” Bucky asked quickly, slowing the bike a little more.</p><p>“You drive like a <em>grandma</em>! I could <em>walk</em> faster than this, Barnes!” Aj shouted to be heard over the wind, but Bucky could hear her as clear as a bell. He chuckled to himself used one hand to turn the cap he had on backwards so it wouldn’t blow off. Then he used the same hand to grab hers. Bucky squeezed them together and she got the message to hold on tighter. Then he pulled back on the throttle and let the bike roar to life.</p><p>Bucky could handle this speed easily. If it got any darker he might start having a hard time, but right now there was just enough light that he could see the entire view in front of him. He also knew he’d be able to make quick decisions on the bike if need be. The only reason he had gone slow was because he didn’t want to spook Aj, but he should’ve known better.</p><p>The woman was a hurricane. Undeterred and unstoppable. A thrill seeker who fed off adrenaline. She let out a cry of excitement as he weaved around cars with ease. Aj was an agent of chaos in the best way possible.</p><p>Going their new speed, it took only ten more minutes to get where Bucky planned to go. It was a more…run down part of Bucharest, but he knew the motels and hostels around here would give out rooms cheap and they didn’t ask questions. He pulled the bike into the lip of an alley to hide and he felt Aj peek around him.</p><p>“<em>That’s</em> where we’re staying?” She pointed to the building ahead of them.</p><p>He understood her tone. The building was coated in graffiti, there were bars over every window of the four story place, and the stray dog wandering on the sidewalk outside was definitely eating a dead bird.</p><p>“We’ll be safe here.” Bucky shrugged.</p><p>“No, we’re gonna get <em>murdered</em> here.”</p><p>Bucky glanced over his shoulder skeptically, “Doll, if you think I’d <em>ever</em> let you get murdered…"</p><p>She smiled sweetly at him, “You won’t have much of a say in the matter if they murder you first.” Aj glanced back at the building, a sad look filling her bold eyes, then looked back at him. “Bucky is this how you’ve been living?”</p><p>Bucky cleared his throat in embarrassment. He was suddenly hyper aware of her hands still being wrapped around his abdomen. He shrugged and focused his gaze ahead, “Not so bad. You get used to it. I don’t need much.”</p><p>Aj hummed to herself then pulled one hand away to reach for something. She was quiet behind him for only a couple minutes before she reached forward again and showed him the screen of her phone. It wasn’t the burner phone he sent her. It was one of the fancy, modern ones he saw everyone carrying.</p><p>“Drive here. Follow the directions.”</p><p>“Where is it taking us?” Bucky asked skeptically.</p><p>“To an actual hotel where we won’t get murdered and/or catch some horrible, rare disease.” She replied. Bucky stiffened, opened his mouth to argue, but she leaned sat up and leaned forward to put her chin on his shoulder. “Please? Just for tonight. Let me take care of you. You trust me, right?”</p><p>Bucky sighed and let the bike roll forward back onto the road. He did trust her. There were two people in this world right now that he trusted. Steve and her. Bucky didn’t even trust himself. Even on the days where his memory was a little hazy and he couldn’t remember the details he wanted to, he always knew that he could trust Steve and he could trust Aj.</p><p>It took five minutes to get to the hotel her phone led them to and Bucky felt out of place. This was in the heart of Bucharest. It was where tourists would go and stay on vacation. The streets were well lit, and people still wandered down the streets socializing as the night had just begun. The only reason he hadn’t immediately turned around was because he could hear Aj gasping in awe as she whipped her head around to look.</p><p>“Okay, pull up there.” She pointed to the front of a glowing, castle of a building that they were apparently about to stay in. He felt himself stiffen in panic. “Turn your hat around, and if you have sunglasses put them on.”</p><p>“It’s night.” He argued but pulled out the cheap pair he had in the inner pocket of his jacket.</p><p>“Trust me.” She whispered back.</p><p>Bucky pulled the bike right up to the front following a few other cars around them. The moment he came to a stop a man in a bright red vest hurried up to them. Bucky assessed the man quickly. He was a low-level threat. No weapon on him and short in stature. While Bucky continued to assess everyone around them he suddenly felt Aj climb off the bike. She had pulled her cap down as far as it would go and put on a pair of sunglasses herself. Aj reached toward him, snatching the keys out of the ignition, and he watched in a mixture of shock and awe as she pulled out a handful of cash.</p><p>“English?”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am.” The Romanian man nodded.</p><p>Aj handed him the keys along with the cash and shot him an award winning smile, “The tip is yours if you park the bike under no name. I’ll give you the same tip when we come back for it tomorrow morning.”</p><p>The man’s eyes widened as he stared down at the cash then he grinned and nodded, “Of course, ma’am! Right away!”</p><p>Bucky hesitantly climbed off the back and stepped toward Aj. He nodded once at her, “Look at you, doll. You’re high class.”</p><p>Aj leaned forward and whispered, “Hey, can I put my arm through yours? Just until we get our room key and then I’ll let go. Promise. Is that okay?”</p><p>Bucky was touched she asked first this time. Apparently, she did notice how he stiffened under her hands. He nodded and she looped her arm through his just like she had at the airport. People glanced their way as they walked into the ornate lobby and Bucky felt the hair on the back of his neck stand in panic. As Aj led them to the front desk, he let his sunglass covered eyes look around the room. He assessed people and counted the exit strategies.</p><p>“Can I help you?” The woman at the front desk asked in English.</p><p>“Yes, I’d like a suite for the night.” Aj requested.</p><p>The woman shook her head, “The only suite we have available right now is our platinum suite they go for—”</p><p>Aj pulled out another wad of cash. Where the hell was she keeping all this? She handed it over the counter with another kind smile, “Thank you. The name is Jane Doe. You can keep the remainder as a tip. I really appreciate the work you do.”</p><p>The woman’s eyes lit up, “Why thank you, Ms. Doe. Let me get your suite key cards.”</p><p>Another tense moment of feeling eyes on his back and the woman finally handed Aj a packet. She wished them a lovely stay, and he pulled them away from the desk. Being on the move felt so much better than standing there under the spotlight. Aj pulled her arm away from his as they boarded the elevator and went up to the 7th floor.</p><p>Bucky followed her quietly and waited for something to kick down a door and grab them. The building was too crowded, too well-lit, too accessible for anyone who wanted to do them harm. He didn’t even notice they had reached the room until Aj opened the door.</p><p>The suite was elegant and large. The door opened into a short hallway that opened up into a large living area with couches pointed toward a television. In the corner of the room was a dining table that could fit four. To the left was a full kitchen and to the right was the bedroom space. There was a large bed, a dresser, a desk, and a set of double doors that he assumed went into the bathroom. Straight ahead were glass doors that led out onto a balcony.</p><p>Bucky could fit 10 of the apartment he stayed at in Alexandra into this room. Seeing the items of luxury, he kind of forgot this kind of world even existed. As he looked around though, he couldn’t help but feel out of place. Someone like him didn’t belong in this world. He always had that sneaking suspicion but standing here and feeling the contrast made it more evident if that were even possible. On the other hand, Aj just set her bookbag down without blinking an eye. This was her world now. He had sent her off with the Avengers and now she was used to this. It made him happy. He was glad she had this kind of life with them.</p><p>Aj was a force of nature, a blinding white light at the end of his tunnel.</p><p>Bucky was just a dark smudge at the end of a book that had already been closed and put away.</p><p>The two didn’t belong side by side. He knew it, but seeing it hurt all the same.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [19:11:48] [44.425477, 26.076585]</strong>
</p><p>The room was really nice. Excessively so, but Bucky deserved to be pampered for at least one night. Hopefully, I could turn this into more and get him home with me, but that was like step 12 of my plan and I was still at step 2.5. I tossed my bookbag to the ground by the couch and took off my sunglasses. With all the cash I was tossing around, I was glad I had made the stop in the New York airport to take so much out of an ATM. I didn’t want to use my debit card unless it was a real emergency.</p><p>I turned to look at Bucky and noticed the dazed look in his eyes. If he really was staying at places like the one he tried to take me to then it was understandable. He would adjust though. The room was nice, we could order in a good meal from room service, he could take a nice, hot shower, and maybe I could even get him some new clothes or—</p><p>Oh my God.</p><p>
  <em>Oh my God.</em>
</p><p>“I’m turning into Tony Stark.” I breathed in disbelief. Bucky shot me a confused look, one eyebrow raised, but I just gaped at him. I was being a whirlwind of money with good intentions, but poor Bucky was left scrambling. I knew exactly what that felt like. To have everything you were used to flipped upside down so quickly. I was literally acting like Tony. He could never know about this. I’d never live it down.</p><p>“Bucky, I am <em>so</em> sorry.” I said quickly and his confusion only grew, “I didn’t even think—”</p><p>My apology was cut short when my cell phone began to ring. Quickly, I pulled it out and the picture of Clint with his face smushed up against a glass filled the screen. My eyes widened and I looked up at Bucky. He nodded, “Take it.”</p><p>“Just—Just one second. I’ll be right back.” I said and hurried over to the glass doors that led out to the balcony. I was praying Bucky didn’t make a run for it while I was on the phone. I dropped down into the chair they had out here and hesitated. Was this good news or bad news? Swallowing my fear, I answered, “Clint?”</p><p>“<em>Hey, kid</em>.” I heard him sigh. “<em>You okay</em>?”</p><p>“I should be asking you that, Clint.” I replied quickly, not hiding my worry, “I saw Bruce on the news and…”</p><p>There was a beat and Clint filled it, “<em>We’re alive</em>.”</p><p>My face twisted in annoyance, “I’m happy to hear that, but that’s not entirely what I meant. Clint… Are you guys okay?”</p><p>It was silent again and this one lasted longer. My fear was palpable as I waited to hear his voice. Clint sighed, “<em>We… We took a hit today, kid. A pretty bad one</em>.”</p><p>A curse slipped my lips and that feeling of uselessness hit me again hard. I rubbed my face with one hand, tired from the long flight and bottled up worry, “What can I do? Do they need to talk?” I was desperate to help in some little way. Anything. “Just put them on the line and I’ll—”</p><p>“<em>They’re not really in a talking mood yet</em>.” Clint said softly. “<em>Don’t worry about us. We always bounce back.</em>”</p><p>“Clint, that’s not as comforting as you might think it is.” I said as firmly as I could.</p><p>“<em>Fair enough. Hey, I also needed to tell you that we aren’t gonna make it back to the Tower tonight. We’re on route to a safe house right now</em>.”</p><p>Shit. Was it really that bad? The public was probably destroying them in the media too which didn’t help anything. This time when I spoke I couldn’t bite back the quiver in my voice, “Clint…”</p><p>“<em>Just—Just focus on the PR work for us. We made a big mess for you to clean up</em>.” Clint joked, but it only made my heart ache. I couldn’t even do that for them because I had left the country. The one thing they explicitly told me not to do. “<em>Just promise me you’ll stay in the Compound.</em>” This time my heart just sunk like a rock in water. Guilt mingled with the worry and fear already bottled up in my chest. “<em>Aj</em>?”</p><p>“Yeah, okay. I will, Clint.” I lied. “Don’t worry about me. Just focus on y’all.”</p><p>Clint gave me a soft affirmative and then we said goodbye to one another. I hung up the line and just let the phone sit in my lap. My family had taken a blow today and not only could I not help them, but I didn’t even really know what was wrong. I had gotten to talk to Tony earlier and now Clint, but what about the others??</p><p>I sucked in the chilly Romanian night air then forced myself to stand. One problem at a time. The Bucky issue I could at least work with. I stepped back inside the room to see that Bucky had shed out of his coat, leaving him only in his hat, red henley, and jeans. He was sitting on the couch, which was also a good sign, but when I looked past him I saw he had jammed a chair under the knob of the front door. If anyone else had done that it’d give me chills, but I knew Bucky wasn’t about to murder me in this expensive ass hotel room.</p><p>I quickly crossed the room and sat on the couch beside him, leaving the middle cushion between us open, “I’m sorry for dragging you here. I wanted to do something nice, but I realize now it made you uncomfortable. We can leave.”</p><p>“No, it’s okay.” Bucky replied quickly. “You already paid, and you need rest.”</p><p>There was an awkward pause of silence between us and I didn’t know what to do with it. We never had awkward moments over the phone. Conversation always flowed so easily between us. He felt like an old friend to me, but right now it just felt… <em>tense</em>.</p><p>“It’s weird me being here, isn't it?” I asked with a frown.</p><p>“It’s not weird.” Bucky argued.</p><p>I shook my head, “Bucky, it’s <em>super</em> weird. I’ll admit I didn’t think this plan entirely through. It was a little…spur of the moment. The word reckless should probably be thrown in there too.” He chuckled lightly. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe…”</p><p>That was one reason. I wanted to make sure he was safe. I also wanted to convince him to come home. More than that though? Finding him, winning him over to Team New York, gave me something to do. If I was at the Compound right now working on PR it’d be driving me crazy. To see the damage in media, to see the carnage from their fight, but not be able to do anything other than send out a tweet? It was <em>torture</em>. At least with this I was busy.</p><p>I was useful.</p><p>“Aj, I don’t want to hurt you.” Bucky said suddenly. I turned to look at him with a frown, but that didn’t deter his words. “Your chances of getting hurt by me are a lot higher right now compared to when we just talk on the phone.”</p><p>I shook my head and turned in my seat to face him, “My chances of getting hurt by you are <em>zero</em>.”</p><p>“Be realistic.” Bucky argued firmly. He turned to face me as well. “I’m serious—”</p><p>“So am I!” I said. “I don’t know how I know it so confidently, but…” I tried to find the words but failed. It was a feeling. A gut instinct. “You can’t hurt me, Bucky.” Disbelief and disappointment painted his features and I hated it. That’s not the emotion I wanted to bring into his life. I nodded once, “Let’s just go back to the usual.”</p><p>“The usual?”</p><p>I rooted around in my jacket pocket and pulled out the burner phone. He gave me a skeptical look, but I just called his number like I had a hundred times before. The sound of Bucky’s phone going off filled the air and finally his lips twitched up into a small, amused smirk. Bucky reached down to his own bookbag and pulled out a matching phone.</p><p>Bucky flipped it open and brought it to his ear.</p><p>“Bucky?” I asked and heard my voice echo through his own line.</p><p>He chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Hey, doll.”</p><p>“How’re you doing??”</p><p>“Well, I was in the middle of arguing with a <em>brick wall</em> when you called.” He shot me a look then smirked, “So not so great.”</p><p>I groaned in good nature, “God, isn't that just the <em>worst</em>? Funnily enough, you mention arguments, I’m actually 2 for 2 in my arguments today. Won them both. You want some pointers?”</p><p>Bucky leaned back in his seat, only amusement in his pretty eyes, “You got any pointers on how to deal with a pain in the ass?”</p><p>“<em>Bucky</em>!” I gasped. “My virgin ears can’t handle that kind of crude talk!”</p><p>He hung up the phone and pointed it me with a chuckle, “You’re impossible. You know that? I pity <em>anybody</em> who tries to stand in your way.”</p><p>I flipped my phone closed and stuffed it back into my pocket with a smirk, “Then get with the program and stay on my side, Barnes.”</p><p>Bucky pulled his cap off, undid his small bun, and then ran his right ungloved hand through it. He still hadn’t taken off his left hand’s glove, but I didn’t press the topic. I had something else to talk about now.</p><p>“What is going on with your hair?” I scoffed. It went well past his shoulders now, “Your hair is longer than mine was when we first met.”</p><p>Bucky narrowed his eyes at me, “My hair when we first met was longer than yours then even.”</p><p>“Okay, it was the same length if anything.” I mumbled with a pout. Before I could regret my decision, I scooted closer to him on the couch. Bucky didn’t flinch or tense so I took that as a win. He had nice hair, but if it got any longer he’d be tripping over it.</p><p>Bucky shrugged, “Going to a barber hasn’t been high on my list of priorities.”</p><p>“Want me to cut it?”</p><p>Bucky seemed taken aback, “Huh?”</p><p>“Cut it?” I lifted my fingers to make the cutting motion. “I used to cut my hair anytime it got longer than my shoulders. I can’t do anything fancy, but…” I tilted my head looking at him at different angles, “Hell, yours will probably be easier than mine because with me I had to use a lot of mirrors and guesswork.”</p><p>Bucky shook his head, “Moving into the future you should maybe work on your sales pitch, doll.”</p><p>“Duly noted.” I chirped.</p><p>He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand then shifted in his seat a little, “Um, yeah. Can you? Please?”</p><p>“Hells yeah, let’s do this. I haven’t cut hair in forever.”</p><p>“Again, with the sales pitch.”</p><p>I jumped up and walked over to the kitchen. The knife set was missing the scissors, but after digging through a few drawers I finally found a pair. The quality was poor considering the kind of room we were staying in, but they’d work perfectly fine. They just had a little rust around the hinge. Like someone left it in the sink for too long.</p><p>“Come on.” I motioned for him to follow me toward the bathroom. It’d be easier to clean his cut hair in here.</p><p>The bathroom was excessively nice as well. White marble floors with a black trim where the floors met the wall. The shower was closed off and hidden in a decently sized room with a glass door separating it from the room. Beside that was a large jacuzzi tub, and on the other side of the tub was a large counter with two sinks. I set the scissors on the counter and pulled my own hat off while Bucky stepped into the bathroom hesitantly. I rolled my eyes, “I’m not gonna murder you in the bathroom with a pair of scissors, Fabio.”</p><p>Bucky shot me a look, “I don’t know who that is so your joke is a waste.</p><p>I chuckled and pointed for him to sit on the edge of the jacuzzi tub. Then I quickly undid my ponytail to put it up into a messy bun that was much more loose and comfortable. I shrugged out of my jacket and replaced it with the scissors on the counter.</p><p>“I was gonna cut it to like the nape of your neck. Is that okay?”</p><p>“Do what you want, doll.” He shrugged.</p><p>Quietly, I focused on his hair and went to work. It really wasn’t hard to just trim off some of the length, but, like I said, it had been a while and I wanted to make it look nice. He had a handsome face. It’d be a huge bummer if I paired it with a shitty haircut.  Bucky just sat there, stock still, as I worked. I had noticed his aversion to touch pretty quickly and felt honored he let me get this close. Just like in the bunker, when he told me he had to do something good just to try and offset some of the bad in his life, I understood him on this. That was something I always liked about Bucky. It was one of the things that made talking to him or being around him easy. We understood one another.</p><p>I stepped into the tub to cut the back of his hair, humming while I worked, and he finally spoke up, “So, psycho robot?”</p><p>“Oh. Yeah.” I paused in cutting for a second to gather my thoughts. “Long story short, Tony and Bruce accidentally created a robot that wants to annihilate the Avengers? I was a witness. They didn’t really create it though. It was more like… they created an opening for Thor’s magic staff to take advantage of. That’s my theory at least.”</p><p>“You were a <em>witness</em>?? Were you around the thing?”</p><p>I went back to cutting, “Yeah, I like watching them work so I was in the lab with them. Then I was there when Ultron, that’s the psycho robot’s name, attacked the first time.” Bucky suddenly turned and I hissed in annoyance, “Hey, I’m gonna mess up your hair!”</p><p>“<em>They let you get attacked by a robot</em>?” Bucky demanded.</p><p>“Let is a strong word.” I replied. “It was the night I never called you, remember? The party?” He nodded. “We were hanging out and it attacked all of us. They told me get out and hide but…”</p><p>Bucky narrowed his eyes at me with a knowing look, “<em>But</em>?”</p><p>“But I maybe didn’t.” I mumbled back. Bucky groaned and I shot him an apologetic look, “If it makes you feel any better, Steve ripped me a new one. We’ve argued before, but that was the first time he ever yelled at me.”</p><p>Bucky snorted then turned back around so I could keep cutting. I questioned him about it, and he chuckled again, “It’s nothing. I just think the idea of Steve ‘<em>Let me pick a fight with every man in Brooklyn’ </em>Rogers yelling at someone for being reckless is kind of funny.”</p><p>“That’s actually a good point, and I wish I had thought of it before.” I nodded and focused on his hair, “Though if I had said something like that to him he probably would’ve had a heart attack.”</p><p>“Probably.”</p><p>I finished up at the back and moved back to the front to make sure both sides were even and level. The right side was a little longer than the left, but I didn’t want to trim too much and then end up having the left side be longer. I snipped at it a little at a time determined to get it just right. I glanced at the left side again quickly, but on my way back to looking at the right side my eyes caught his gaze. I hadn’t realized how close I had leaned in toward him, but now I was acutely aware that I was only a couple inches from his face. Bucky didn’t move or react in any way. He just stared at me with a soft look in his eyes. It was hypnotizing.</p><p>In fact, it was so hypnotizing that I didn’t realize I had stabbed him in the neck with the scissors until he hissed in pain.</p><p>“<em>Shit</em>!” I yelped and threw the scissors in the tub. There was a small nick on the side of his neck that was bleeding. I grabbed the hand towel behind me on the wall and shoved it against the side of his neck. “Oh my God, I <em>stabbed</em> you!”</p><p>“If you were trying to kill me you missed my jugular.” Bucky chuckled.</p><p>“<em>Shut up</em>!” I pressed the towel against his neck harder trying to ignore the warmth filling my cheeks. “First, I try to kill Captain America with his own shield and then I stab his best friend in the neck with a pair of rusty scissors.”</p><p>Bucky’s chuckles turned into full body shaking laughter. As embarrassed as I was, I couldn’t help but stare in awe at the grin on his face. Yes, he was laughing at my expense, but at least he was laughing.</p><p>“Well, I'm glad you’re amused.” I scoffed.</p><p>He shook his head and focused his gaze back on me, “How do you do that?”</p><p>“Fuck up so consistently?” I replied. “I have no Earthly idea. I've been asking myself that my entire life.”</p><p>“That’s not what I meant.” Bucky said warmly. It was quiet as I soaked that in. Nothing more had to be said. He reached down to scoop the scissors out of the tub and then placed them back into my hand. Bucky smirked at me, the way I imaged he did so many times while we were on the phone, and the look on his face could only be described as charming, “Come on, finish up. I’m not walking around with a lopsided haircut because you got lost in my eyes, doll.”</p><p>I knew I was blushing. The smile, the voice, the charm. Motherfucker knew exactly what he was doing. I set the slightly blood-stained towel aside and then pointed at him with the end of the scissors, “You know what? Now, I kind of hope you get tetanus.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-09] [20:11:10] [44.425477, 26.076585]</strong>
</p><p>There was something religious about a hot shower. Bucky had never thought that before, at least he didn’t remember ever thinking it, but the steaming hot water running over his head and down his body definitely felt like a holy experience. The shower back in his apartment in Alexandra hadn’t been terrible, but the water lost heat usually pretty quickly and the pressure was somewhere between dripping faucet and water fountain spray.</p><p>He let his hands run through his hair and lifted his face to the shower head. Words didn’t describe how grateful he was for his haircut. His hair had gotten really long, longer than he liked, but Bucky never got around to trying to cut it himself. Bucky actually didn’t get around to doing a lot for himself now that he thought about it. He’d do the bare minimum, keep himself alive, but anything beyond that seemed like too much.</p><p>Between the haircut, the hot shower, and knowing Aj was out in the living room ordering an excessive amount of food for them, Bucky felt like an actual human being again. He knew he didn’t deserve it, that indulging in this moment was selfish, but it felt so nice. To pretend like he was normal. That all of this was normal.</p><p>Bucky shut off the water and stepped out of it into the steamy bathroom. He tied a towel around his waist and used a smaller one to dry his hair. As the mirror began to clear his eyes landed on his metal arm. Bucky flexed it a few times and flinched when his entire shoulder ached. The scars from around where the metal dug into his skin was angry and red. HYDRA had built the arm into his shoulder. It wasn’t removable and it needed constant upkeep. Nobody had worked on it since he went into hiding. Not that he wanted HYDRA to work on it. He didn’t want to be anywhere near them ever again, but he couldn’t deny that he didn’t need some kind of help.</p><p>With clenched teeth, he set his right hand on the left shoulder and rolled it a few times. Something clicked anytime he moved, and he was pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to do that. As his eyes landed on the mirror again it reminded him that playing pretend wasn’t possible for him. He wasn’t normal and he couldn’t even act like he was. Bucky’s missing arm would always be a reminder of what he was.</p><p>“Bucky?” Aj knocked on the door. “The food is here? You almost done?”</p><p>He cleared his throat before answering, “Yeah. Be right out.”</p><p>Bucky stretched his shoulder one more time. He wasn’t really sure what he hoped he’d get from doing so. Maybe one of these days he’d stretch and the pain would magically be gone. He scoffed under his breath and grabbed the change of clothes he had brought into the bathroom with him. Gray joggers he had stolen off a clothesline and a plain white t-shirt. Bucky’s eyes darted to his exposed arm hesitantly. Aj said she wasn’t bothered by it, but she hadn’t seen the entire thing before.</p><p>He couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever though.</p><p>Bucky stepped out and he couldn’t deny the nervous energy that bristled under his skin. However, Aj hadn’t even noticed him come out of the bathroom. His eyes widened at the ridiculous amount of food stacked on the dining room table but worry hit him when he saw Aj sitting at the table zoned out. He cleared his throat and her eyes snapped to attention.</p><p>“You okay, doll?”</p><p>“Yeah, sorry.” Aj forced a chuckle. “Just worried about the others. Got stuck in my own head, you know?”</p><p>He did know. Bucky was more than aware of where a mind could go if left to it’s own accords. He didn’t need any more reason to enjoy tonight other than his own selfish desire, but if pretending to be normal would take away Aj’s worry he wouldn’t hesitate.</p><p>“Are you sure you ordered enough food?” Bucky joked.</p><p>“Listen, I’m a professional at ordering food for super soldiers, okay?” Aj replied with a smirk. Her eyes left his gaze and traced the metal of his arm. Bucky stiffened despite trying his best not to. Aj’s eyes widened and Bucky mentally began to prep an apology and go searching for his henley shirt with the long sleeves. “Oh my God, hang on!”</p><p>Aj jumped out of her chair and crossed the room to get to her bookbag. She dug through it for a second before finding what she looked for and then walked over to him. Bucky shot her a curious look, but she just reached forward and grabbed his arm.</p><p>“Look.” She chirped and he glanced down to see the magnet with Steve’s face sitting on his lower bicep. Bucky shook his head as a laugh of relief left him. “Nice, huh??”</p><p>Bucky nodded, “Real stylish.”</p><p>“Now, come on. Let’s eat before the food gets cold!”</p><p>Aj dragged him to the table and his first normal night in a very long time commenced. Admittedly, he had felt nervous and a bit awkward when they first walked in, but it only took a few more beats before they were talking like they always did. It was easy. <em>Too easy</em>. Talking and laughing with Aj was like breathing. It just felt natural to him.</p><p>Every meal she ordered tasted amazing, almost too rich for him, and he was caught off guard with the amount of food she put down. Although now she leaned on her elbow on the table moaning complaints of being too full.</p><p>“No one told you eat the rest of the <em>cozonac</em>.” Bucky motioned to the plate where the Romanian sweet bread had once been. He laughed when Aj just moaned again and pouted in response. “Don’t be a baby.”</p><p>“<em>Bucky</em>…” Aj whined. “Show me more concern.”</p><p>“You know what? You’re right I’m sorry.” Bucky leaned forward to scoop up the Romanian cheese doughnuts, a popular dessert in this area, “I’ll eat all the <em>papanasi</em> to protect you.”</p><p>Aj sat up and shook her head, “Wait, no, no. I want dessert.”</p><p>“I thought you were dying?”</p><p>“I’ve made a miraculous recovery.” She replied. Bucky chuckled and set the plate down between them. Despite all her moaning and groaning before, she dug in eagerly. After taking a few bites of the dessert, she pointed at him with her fork, “So tell me, have you been working out or something?? You’re…for lack of a better word…” Aj lifted her other hand up and with both she vaguely motioned to him, “…<em>thick</em>.”</p><p>Bucky smirked and leaned forward, “You checking me out, doll?”</p><p>“Yeah, and what if I am?” Aj stuck another bite of food in her mouth then shot him a look of challenge.</p><p>He shrugged in response, not letting his amusement slide, “I’d tell you to start using your hands instead of your eyes.”</p><p>The response was instantaneous. Aj’s eyes went wide, her face dusted with a blush that went down to her collarbones, and she sucked in the bite of food that had been in her mouth. As she began to choke, Bucky laughed and pushed a water bottle toward her. Teasing her over the phone was always fun. Teasing her in person was <em>addicting</em>. There was nothing that could be compared to watching the surprise fill her features as her blush took over. Bucky always knew she’d have a cute blush, he just knew it, and seeing it confirmed his theory.</p><p>“You’re an <em>ass</em>!” Aj said when she finally managed to stop choking. He laughed again and she reached forward to shove him as hard as she could. “See if I <em>ever</em> pay you a compliment again.”</p><p>Bucky’s amusement simmered down to a few last chuckles. He shook his head at her and casually shrugged, “I’m not working out.” He probably couldn’t. With his arm in the state it was? It was better to save any use of it for emergencies. “But I know what you mean.”</p><p>“Oh, you know you’re thick and handsome?” Aj scoffed.</p><p>His smirk returned, “You just added handsome yourself.” She mumbled something under her breath, something along the lines of ‘<em>smug bastard’</em>, and chuckled again before continuing with a shrug, “I think it’s because I'm eating more. I was living under the radar with little to no money, and it wasn’t much, but I finally had a consistent source of food.”</p><p>Between the murders and being wiped, Bucky didn’t remember a lot of gourmet meals. HYDRA had to have fed him. That was common sense. Still, he didn’t actively remember eating. If they had fed him he had a feeling it had been via tubes during the time he was frozen or just little scraps here or there to keep him functioning. Saying it out loud like this, and seeing Aj’s smile fall, made him realize this was probably a trauma that needed to be added to his growing list. Bucky hadn’t really thought of it before. Compared to some of the other stuff he had on his list, not being fed properly didn’t seem like such a big deal.</p><p>The way Aj reached forward to set her hand on top of his right one though, the one he had casually set on the table so he could turn his body to entirely face her, made him realize it was a big deal. Bucky quickly shook his head, “It’s okay.”</p><p>“No, it’s not.” Aj said firmly. She squeezed his hand and Bucky could only focus on how soft and warm her skin felt against his. “Now excuse me, I’m gonna order like 12 more meals for you.”</p><p>He laughed and when she pulled her hand away to rise from the table, Bucky reached out to catch it and tug her back towards him, “I do <em>not</em> need 12 more meals, crazy. I’m full as is.”</p><p>“You’re just saying that to keep me from ordering more food.” She argued.</p><p>She was right, but Bucky wasn’t going to admit that now. He put on what he hoped was a charming smile and threw in a wink that felt foreign to him. Bucky knew he was a little out of practice and prayed he didn’t look like he was seizing or something, “Nah, I’d just rather have you, doll.”</p><p>Rather than falling apart like he hoped, Aj leaned forward with a sly smirk and half lidded eyes. Her voice was a whisper, “Oh, Bucky, I don’t think you could handle me.”</p><p>Bucky felt his mouth go dry and his eyes widen as he began to sputter out the start of a sentence that never finished. Hearing his name like that in her voice? Having her literally within his reach? It did something dangerous to him. Bucky felt his heart clench in his chest, his breath caught in his throat, and warm desire curled in his abdomen.</p><p>“I think that’s a point for me?” Aj leaned back triumphantly. “And with that victory, I shall retire to take my shower before you can beat me again.”</p><p>Fuck, she was good at this.</p><p>As she left to shower, Bucky rose from his seat to clean the table some then dropped onto the couch with his bag. Now was as good a time as any to jot down his thoughts from the day. Lord knew he had plenty. The bag Bucky carried had his essentials, but those essentials could be whittled down to a few changes of clothes, a sheathed hunting knife, and his notebooks. There were three notebooks he had been filling for months now. One had memories from his past that he couldn’t bear to forget again, one kept track of his present moments he couldn’t bear to ever forget, and the third held memories he wished he didn’t have. Bucky didn’t like keeping track of that last one, but he felt like he had to. It was his hands that committed the crimes, he should be forced to remember it.</p><p>By time he finished jotting a couple things down, Aj breezed out of the bathroom freshly washed. She had changed into a baggy, gray t-shirt that had the words ‘<em>MIT Alumni’</em> on it and a pair of shorts. At least he assumed there were a pair of shorts on under the long length of the shirt. His eyes traced her legs once before mentally cursing himself and tearing his attention away from her.</p><p>“Oh”, Aj sat on the couch with him, one cushion away, and dried her dark hair with a towel. Her hair looked nice with it long like this. “Are these your notebooks?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Bucky cleared his throat. He knew he had mentioned them to her once, but he was surprised she remembered. Aj’s eyes darted down to one and then back to him. He could see the question in her eyes, but it also looked like she wasn’t going voice. Bucky nodded, “You can look if you want.”</p><p>Aj shook her head, “No, you don’t have to—”</p><p>“I don’t mind.” Bucky grabbed the one with the Winter Soldier memories and shoved it into his bag. A lot of the stuff in the other two notebooks she already knew about anyways. Aj picked up the blue covered notebook and just flipped through a few pages. “That’s stuff they made me forget. I’ll remember something and write it down so I never forget again. Usually, it’s stuff about my mom or Rebecca or… or Steve.”</p><p>Aj grinned, “There were so many times I wanted to make fun of Steve because of a story you told me, but I had to hold back. My self-control should be rewarded.”</p><p>Bucky chuckled to himself, but guilt hit him as well. He was reminded that because of him Aj had been forced to lie to the blond. A lie of omission really, but Steve never differentiated the two. A lie was a lie and he had always been a stickler for honesty. Bucky also wondered what exactly was going on between the two. From stories alone, he could tell Steve had an interest in the woman in front of him, but he wondered if Aj felt the same or if Steve had ever made a move of any kind. Could he just ask outright? That would be weird though. Wouldn’t it?</p><p>During his internal argument, Aj had set down the notebook and he watched her reach for the other. Bucky’s left hand shot out to stop her. Aj’s eyes widened as he left his metal hand on top of hers. Before she could apologize, he shook his head, “I don’t mind if you look I just…I should warn you that…” Bucky could feel warmth flood his face in embarrassment. “—that you’re in this one. <em>A lot</em>.”</p><p>“<em>Me</em>?” Aj asked in surprise. He nodded and moved his hand so she could pick it up. She shot him one last look before starting to flip through it a little.</p><p>“It’s the day to day stuff.” Bucky said and he watched as a small smile flittered across her lips. “Important stuff that I don’t ever wanna forget.”</p><p>One of Bucky’s biggest fears was losing pieces of himself again. He was already so shattered and broken, he couldn’t afford to lose anything else of himself.</p><p>Aj chuckled and held up the notebook to show one thing he had wrote down ages ago, “Really? The fact that I accidentally broke my classmates’ arm in the third grade while on the playground then cried for days about it afterwards is an important fact that <em>needs</em> to be remembered?”</p><p>Bucky nodded once, “It is to me.”</p><p>Her amused grin softened a degree and Bucky tried to mentally memorize the look. He wished he had a camera. Something to capture moments like this to put in his notebook. Nights like tonight, he never wanted to forget. He never wanted to forget anything that involved the woman sitting on the couch beside him.</p><p>Aj handed him the notebook and Bucky slid both back into his bag before tossing it to the side. She shifted closer, only half a cushion away, and he stretched out his left arm out onto the back of the couch so the weight of it wouldn’t pull on his shoulder. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against the back cushion while facing him entirely, “Can I ask you something?” Bucky nodded once. “You can say no if you don’t like the question.” Aj’s eyes darted to his metal arm and for the first time tonight she did more than just acknowledge it. She studied it. “Does it hurt?”</p><p>“The arm?” Bucky clarified to buy time. She bobbed her head and he took in a slow breath. “Yeah. It does.” A look of sadness flashed in her eyes. Bucky shook his head and lied, “I’ve gotten used to that though.”</p><p>Bucky shook his head and changed the conversation topic back to something light. He didn’t want to make Aj sad, especially not for him. They only talked for another thirty minutes before Bucky could see her eyes start to grow heavy.</p><p>“I think it’s time for bed.” Bucky said softly.</p><p>Aj shook her head and rubbed at her eyes, “I’m not even—” She yawned. “—tired.”</p><p>Bucky smirked, “<em>Very</em> convincing.”</p><p>“Shut up.” She pouted. “I just… I don’t wanna waste any of the time I have with you. This is so much better than a phone call.”</p><p>He didn’t voice the fact that he very much agreed. Bucky watched as she yawned again. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would give up sleep or time for him. The selfish part of him wanted her to stay up. The selfish part of him wanted to take every second of seeing those blue eyes that he could, of watching her nose scrunch up when she laughed too hard, of seeing the mischief in every smirk she fired at him. Bucky wished he could pause time right here in this moment. A moment where he didn’t have to think about his past or the murky future or of his blood coated sins.</p><p>“I like talking to you too.” He finally admitted. “You make me feel—” Not like some monster. Not like the devil. Not like an unforgiveable sinner. “—normal.”</p><p>“Bucky, you’re not normal.” Aj scoffed and he felt his heart drop. Her heavy eyes fluttered once more time and she gave him a soft, tired smile, “You have the jawline of a Greek god, eyes the color of the sky after a storm, not an ounce of fat on your body—” Bucky barked out a laugh and she paused before continuing, “And, you’re a really, <em>really</em> good man.”</p><p>He shook his head, “Aj—”</p><p>“Nuh uh.” She interrupted him and closed her eyes while leaning her head on the back cushion of the couch close to his hand. “You’re a good man with a good heart. I have spoken.”</p><p>“I didn’t realize you were the authority on that.” Bucky joked.</p><p>“I am, and I have decided. You are a good man.” Aj said, her eyes still closed, and he could tell she was fading fast.</p><p>Bucky let his eyes trace her features and he replied quietly, “Talking to you makes me feel like I could be, doll.”</p><p>“Hmm”, Aj hummed, her voice heavy with exhaustion, “Fine. If talking to my dumbass is the only way for you to know that, then I guess we’ll have to keep talking to one another for the rest of forever.”</p><p>A few seconds passed and he watched her officially doze off. Bucky should’ve gotten her up and to the bed before she passed out, and now he should just move her himself, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to spend one more moment on the couch together. Bucky couldn’t lie. Not even to himself. The idea of talking to Aj for the rest of forever sounded like a dream. The kind he’d be okay never waking up from.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [09:12:32] [44.425477, 26.076585]</strong>
</p><p>It was the smell of coffee that woke me up. Good coffee too. Had Tony or Clint come down to my apartment or had I fallen asleep in the penthouse? They were the only two in the Tower that made a decent cup of coffee. Natasha didn’t drink it often enough to make it, Bruce only drank tea, and Steve couldn’t make a good pot of coffee to save his damned life.</p><p>I sat up in bed, groggy, and it took me a second to place where I was. Romania. None of the Avengers were here, but…</p><p>“Morning, sleepy head.”</p><p>I blinked once, trying to clear my vision, and spotted Bucky in the kitchen space pouring coffee into a mug. <em>Bucky Barnes</em>. A slow smile spread across my face. He was still here. A part of me thought all of last night had just been a weird dream and the other part thought Bucky would slip away in the middle of the night. I rubbed my face, “I wanted to wake up before you today.”</p><p>Bucky walked over with the mug and offered it to me, “Well, it’s a little after 9 in the morning so you didn’t do a very good job at that.” He nodded once to the coffee in my hands, “Two sugars, no cream.”</p><p>“I could get used to my own live in barista.” I joked and took a quick sip of my coffee and pulled my legs in so I could sit crossed leg. Bucky sat down where my legs had been. He had already changed from his sleep clothes back into the same outfit I had seen him in yesterday. “Do you not want any?”</p><p>Bucky chuckled, “To be honest, I already had two cups. They got the good stuff here.”</p><p>He had told me ages ago that he had always been a coffee guzzler. It was back when I told him that I only started really drinking coffee when I came to the Tower. There was something about living with Tony and Clint that just turned you into a caffeine fiend if you weren’t careful.</p><p>“Oh hey, hold this.” I handed him my coffee and crawled off the bed to get to my bookbag. Somewhere buried under my change of clothes was his birthday gift. Considering this trip was impromptu I didn’t really have an <em>actual</em> gift for him, but the flight had been very, very long. I came back to my seat and took my coffee from him while also handing him a folded-up piece of paper, “Happy Birthday, Bucky.”</p><p>His eyes widened slightly, “W—<em>What</em>?”</p><p>“Happy birthday!” I repeated with a shrug, “Don’t tell me you forgot it was your birthday.”</p><p>“No, I remembered… I just didn’t think you would.” Bucky mumbled out the last part while staring at the paper in his hands like it was a ticking time bomb. “What is this?”</p><p>“Your gift, dummy.” I scoffed and lightly kicked my foot against his thigh, “Come on, open it.”</p><p>Bucky, still keeping his eyes in his lap, unfolded the paper until a blue and white braided piece of string fell out onto his hand. On the plane, I had kept busy by braiding his and my own. It was probably stupid and childish, but I wanted to give him something with meaning. Natasha seemed to really like hers, and she was a deadly assassin so I had to have been onto something there.</p><p>“I didn’t really have time to get you anything real. I mean, I guess I could’ve gotten you an airport shot glass, but…” I said and his gaze lifted to meet mine. I couldn’t read the look in his eyes and I nervously shifted in place and began to babble, “I made Natasha one for Christmas. Technically, you guys have matching bracelets now because I chose my colors to be white and that light blue.” I stuck out my left wrist to show him the two bracelets that now sat above my watch, “The red and black one is Nat’s and the navy and light brown one is you. Steve told me your old uniform on the Howling Commandos had been navy and brown…” Bucky still didn’t say anything, and I felt my cheeks begin to heat up. This had been stupid. “I know it’s dumb and silly, but I just wanted to give you something on your birthday and the magnet was your Christmas gift so I couldn’t use that—”</p><p>“I love it.” Bucky shook his head quickly. He must have noticed my nervous energy, “Doll, I <em>absolutely </em>love it. I just… I’m shocked to get anything.”</p><p>Bucky glanced down at it again and the corner of his lips curled into a soft smile. It was my favorite of his. The charming smirk was a good look on him, and was stiff competition in this case, but there was something about that soft smile, that slow curling of his lips, that made me warm inside. He held it out to me, “Can you…?”</p><p>I grinned and set my coffee down on beside table and grabbed the bracelet to tie around his right wrist, “I’m glad I made it long so it could fit around your thick ass wrist.” Bucky chuckled at my words and I finished tying it. I held out my own wrist. “The reason I made Nat one was because we saw it in this random movie we watched on girls’ night. The characters said something about how anytime they saw their wrist they’d think of the other person no matter how far apart they were. I liked the idea of that. Always having someone to think of you.”</p><p>“I don’t need a bracelet to think of you.” Bucky replied. “But I love it all the same.”</p><p>With a smirk, I rolled off the bed again, “Lemme get dressed and then we can go out and celebrate your birthday right.”</p><p>“Celebrate?” Bucky questioned. He furrowed his eyebrows together, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Aj. Not with the people we have after us.”</p><p>“Oh, come on!” I argued. “Boss is still in California, Coulson would’ve sent me a text if he wasn’t. Ultron isn't after me technically, and if HYDRA did come looking for you they’d be looking in Alexandra or that other place you had been in before you came for me in Bucharest. You said so yourself last night.”</p><p>Bucky shook his head, “Still…”</p><p>“<em>Please</em>?” I pleaded. “We gotta do <em>something</em> for your birthday. We can find a park and just hang out. No crowds, no enclosed spaces, and we’ll be careful. Yeah?”</p><p>There was a pause where I could see Bucky rolling his options around in his head before he let out a sigh and nodded, “Alright, but if I say we need to leave, we immediately leave. Got it?”</p><p>“Yes!” I chirped and grabbed my clothes out of my bag. I glanced around the open room then shook my head, “I’ll get ready in the bathroom.”</p><p>Bucky chuckled and rose from the bed, “For as much money you spent on this room, you’d think there would be more walls.”</p><p>“It’s a style, Buck. It’s called studio.”</p><p>“Call it what you want, you got ripped off.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [12:22:13] [44.445559, 26.126784]</strong>
</p><p>Maybe there were stronger men out there who could look Aj in the eyes and tell her no, but Bucky was fully aware that he was not one of them. So, when she asked him to celebrate his birthday out in the city he had no chance. None at all. She had asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday, a day he had no intentions of even acknowledging, and truthfully he would be content with finding a quiet spot in Bucharest and keeping out of sight. However, Bucky knew a spot on the other side of the city that she would love so that’s where they were.</p><p>It was an outdoor market he had found ages ago during a visit to Bucharest. Stands lined a couple blocks of the city and they sold everything under the sun. Fresh fruit, street foods, knick knacks, jewelry, clothes. It was crowded and loud, two things he usually tried to avoid, but those things didn’t bother him much right now. Not when he saw the glowing smile of wonder and excitement on Aj’s features as she bounced up and down the streets dragging him along.</p><p>“<em>Just two please</em>.” Bucky ordered from the man working the tea stand. He glanced over to see Aj admiring oriental rugs hanging up at the stand beside him. She let her hands lightly trace the intricate pattern of the rug in front of her. Aj’s dark hair hung loose around her face, tucked behind her ears, and falling to a little below her shoulder blades. It was one of Romania’s warmer days in March so she had stuck the bulky green canvas jacket into her book bag and left on a white tank top and thin, blue cardigan. His attention snapped back to the man in front of him when two drinks appeared. Bucky thanked the man, handed him some money, and walked back over to her, “I got the same as you so this better be good, doll.”</p><p>Aj took the iced drink from him and grinned, “Strawberry green tea is <em>amazing</em>. Especially iced. You should try some of Bruce’s teas though. He has like a <em>million</em> different types.”</p><p>They wandered down the street casually again. Aj stayed close to his side, but he noticed she was making the effort not to reach out and grab him. Bucky never had her pegged as the cuddly kind, but it was little details like that that Bucky was eager to learn.</p><p>“You know, I made plans with Steve today.” She hummed.</p><p>Bucky raised an eyebrow at her, “Oh yeah?”</p><p>“He has this tradition.” Aj glanced over at him with a small, sad smile. “He spends the day out in Brooklyn on your birthday.” Bucky felt his heart clench in his chest. “He did the past two years at least and this year he invited me. He was gonna give me the grand tour of all y’all’s old hotspots. The ones still there at least… I hope he’s okay.”</p><p>The last few words were mumbled in a soft whisper that he might not have heard over the noise around them if it wasn’t for his super hearing. Bucky hoped the same. Steve mourned on his birthday and that filled Bucky with guilt. It was a reminder that he was hurting one of the only two people that gave a damn about him on this Earth. He was hurting his best friend, his brother, his family, his…well, his everything. There was no part of his early life, the moments he could remember, that didn’t involve the blond. Steve was <em>always</em> there, and Bucky couldn’t even be there for him now in return.</p><p>“You hear from your friends at all today?” Bucky questioned. He had seen her checking her phone every once in a while, and the look she had was usually that of disappointment.</p><p>Aj shook her head, “No. I think no news is good news though. At least, I hope it is. There’s nothing in the media about them right now. Other than the stuff that’s already happened.”</p><p>“I’m sure they’re okay.” Bucky tried to reassure her. She looked up at him and he pasted on a tight smile. “I mean, they’re the Avengers, right?”</p><p>Aj snorted, “Yeah. Earth’s Mightiest <em>Dumbasses</em>.”</p><p>“Speaking of,” Bucky cleared his throat, working up to the question he had rolled around in the back of his head since yesterday, “You and Steve.” Aj blinked curiously. “You and—and he… uh, are the two of you…?”</p><p>For fuck’s sake, he used to be good at this. Bucky used to be smooth but stammering out his question right now had him feeling like a 16-year-old Steve Rogers. All Bucky’s teasing had come back to bite him in the ass it seemed.</p><p>“Oh!” Aj chirped finally understanding what he meant. She shook her head with a chuckle, “We’re just friends. Don’t you think I would’ve mentioned it to you if I had suddenly started dating your best friend?”</p><p>Bucky chuckled, “Fair point.”</p><p>She lightly elbowed him in the arm then motioned around them, successfully switching conversation topics, “So, birthday boy, what’s on the menu for lunch? You craving anything?”</p><p>Bucky listened as she pointed out different options that she spotted around the market. There was a small bubble of relief at hearing that her and Steve were only friends, but it was short lived. He wasn’t allowed to have thoughts like that. Bucky was a selfish guy, it was why he was out and about today enjoying her presence, but even he had drawn a line in the sand. Steve was the <em>perfect</em> kind of guy for Aj. He would treat her right. Steve could offer her the damn world and she deserved it. There was a future there for her whereas Bucky was more of a dead end.</p><p>He knew Aj was trying to convince him to come back with her. She hadn’t outright said it yet, but he wasn’t an idiot. The dangerous part of this was he wasn’t entirely sure he could tell the woman no on this topic either. What would that look like? He’d get more days like this with her. He’d get to be a part of Steve’s life again. Hell, maybe he could even talk the blond into finally making a move. It would suck to watch, and Bucky already felt his chest tighten at the thought, but it was undeniably the better option.</p><p>“I can’t read Romanian, but it looks like that stand is selling meat on a stick.” Aj’s voice brought him back. “I have no idea what meat, but that’s part of the fun, I think.”</p><p>Bucky was getting very good at playing pretend and he wondered if the return to reality would actually kill him. He cleared his throat, “That’s the beauty of a market. We can grab a little of everything.”</p><p>They bounced from food stand to food stand for the next half hour. Street food didn’t seem to bother Aj at all, but he figured it wouldn’t. He had heard about a few of the places in New York that Clint Barton had dragged her to. If she could handle those spots then these were an absolute breeze. Bucky balled up the trash in his hands, taking hers too, and turned to walk the few steps away to throw it all away.</p><p>When he turned back around, he lost sight of Aj. Panic welled up in him as his eyes scanned the crowd. Worst case scenarios hit him hard, but when he finally spotted her standing in front of a stand trying to talk to the older woman behind the table, he felt the air leave his lungs in relief. Bucky stormed over with the intent of arguing with her on the importance of not leaving his side right now, but it was lost as soon as he got beside her.</p><p>“Bucky! She’s trying to tell me something, but I can’t understand.” Aj said and pulled him closer.</p><p>The older, gray haired Romanian woman looked up at him and smiled warmly, “<em>Oh, I see, she is not alone then? You are with her?</em>”</p><p>“<em>Yes, ma’am</em>.” Bucky replied in Romanian with a nod.</p><p>“<em>I was trying to ask if she was by herself. It’s not safe to wander alone with no knowledge of the area</em>.” The woman finished.</p><p>Bucky chuckled and turned to Aj, “She was worried you were out here all alone.”</p><p>“Aw.” Aj cooed. “If only she knew I could destroy any man that tried to walk up and mess with me. How do I say thank you?”</p><p>Bucky said the word and Aj repeated a few times before looking to the woman and saying it again. She butchered the word and funnily enough he could hear her southern drawl through the word.</p><p>The woman chuckled, “<em>You are so very welcome</em>.” Bucky nodded to her and began to pull Aj away, but the woman spoke again. “<em>Wait! Take a look here</em>”, she waved to the jewelry that covered her table. Most of it was gold or silver, “<em>My husband and I make it by hand</em>.”</p><p>“<em>They’re beautiful, but we really don’t need anything</em>.” Bucky replied. Aj’s phone rang and she pulled it out to glance at the screen. She pointed to it, he nodded in understanding, and then she stepped a little bit away to talk. Bucky turned back to the woman, “<em>Thank you, but—</em>"</p><p>“<em>But nothing! The two of you are such a lovely couple</em>.” She cut in and Bucky blushed. Before he could correct her, she kept on, “<em>Buy your lover something as beautiful as she is</em>!”</p><p>Aj was nowhere close to being his lover, but he did like the idea of buying her something. She had already gifted him so much already. The funny magnet, the thoughtful bracelet, and the warmth of her presence. Aj deserved everything and more, but maybe he could start with at least this one little thing.</p><p>Bucky glanced over the various pieces of jewelry on the table. He had never bought jewelry for a woman before. Bucky had given other gifts, sure, but back then he had always assumed he’d be buying jewelry when he found the woman he’d wanna spend the rest of his life with. One of the few memories he had of his mother was of her showing him the bracelet and necklace set his father had gifted to her. She always said he had given them to her on only their third date, but he claimed it was the moment he <em>knew</em> she’d be his wife one day.</p><p>Bucky’s life was over. There was no wife in his future, no white picket fence, no anything. His future was as bleak as a black hole on his worst days.</p><p>“<em>Anything catch your eye??”</em> The woman urged. Bucky had no idea what Aj liked in jewelry style, but his eyes landed on a charm near the back. He pointed to it, asking to see it, and the woman picked it up to show him the charm clearly. “<em>Fine taste. Sterling silver with 14k filled gold. The sun and the moon</em>.”</p><p>He nodded to the woman and said he’d take it. The woman chirped in excitement as he pulled out the limited amount of money he had in the first place. Aj had been spending her money most of today. She had given him a handful of cash and refused to budge on it. He couldn’t spend her own money on this gift though. It wouldn’t be the same.</p><p>Bucky wasn’t sure if the necklace was the kind that a woman would ever want. It seemed very simple. Silver chain with a charm the size of a nickel that had a crescent moon on one side then the sun on the other. For all he knew, it would be considered gaudy, but he couldn’t pass up on that charm.</p><p>The sun and the moon.</p><p>That’s what he felt like around Aj. She was his sun. Meeting her in that bunker had been the first sunrise of what he thought was going to be an eternal darkness. Bucky spent his days lost in the dark, trying to sew together a frayed mind, but when she was around he felt illuminated. Bucky wasn’t cured. He wasn’t sure he would ever be cured. He wasn’t sure if he would ever fully feel like he was in control of his mind ever again. There was a more than good chance that he’d spend the rest of his life trapped in the recesses of his own mind, but… The warmth that radiated off Aj, the light he never seemed to grow tired of basking in, it made him feel like he had a chance. At the end of the day, that’s all he really wanted.</p><p>Bucky just wanted to <em>believe</em> that maybe he could heal eventually.</p><p>The woman handed him the necklace, he thanked her again, and stepped away with the necklace in hand. Aj, who was only a few feet away, stared down at her phone with a distressed look on her face. Worry hit him at the sight, and he crossed the space quicker.</p><p>“Hey, everything alright?” He pressed.</p><p>Aj shook her head, tapped on the screen a few times, and then flipped the phone around for him. His eyes narrowed at a man dressed in an ostentatious orange suit who was speaking to a few other news anchors at a desk. “—<em>and they seem entirely alright with this—this criminal living in their building and handling what I have to assume are top secret missions. Look at this woman. Look at her</em>!” A picture was brought up of a stone faced Aj. Her eyes were tired, her busted lips drawn in a frown, and bruises sprinkled her features. It was a mugshot. “<em>I wouldn’t trust her to make a cup of coffee let alone run and direct the Avengers entire PR department! And she was a personal assistant before that! This is a dangerous precedent to set and if we just let this slide—</em>”</p><p>Bucky reached out to lower the screen. He had seen enough. Aj stuffed the phone back into her pocket and crossed her arms unhappily, “The entire world knows about me. About who I really am. A criminal that hit the lottery.”</p><p>“That isn't true. That isn't who you are.” Bucky argued.</p><p>“I only got these jobs because Tony is too lazy to hire an actual professional, Buck.”</p><p>“You got those jobs because they <em>trust</em> you. Because they can see your talent and intelligence.” Bucky shook his head. “And from what I've seen and heard, you’re damn good at it.”</p><p>Aj shrugged in response. She twisted her lips after a second, “A part of me hoped nobody would ever find that info on me. I knew it was unrealistic to hope for it, but…”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He said softly. He wished he had more to say or offer.</p><p>She shot him a small smile then nodded towards him, “What is that?”</p><p>Bucky glanced down at his hand to see that she had been nodding toward it. He cleared his throat then held it out to her with a smirk, “Happy Birthday.”</p><p>Aj rolled her eyes, “You know my birthday is in June, and I know you know this because I saw it written down in your notebook.”</p><p>“Can’t I just buy you something to buy you something?” Bucky replied.</p><p>“You didn’t have to though, Buck—”</p><p>“I know I didn’t have to.” He said softly. “I <em>wanted</em> to, doll.”</p><p>Aj’s sad smile slowly regained it’s warmth as she chuckled. She took the necklace in her hands and gazed down at the charm in awe. Her finger traced the curve of the moon, “It’s <em>gorgeous</em>.” Aj looked back up at him, “You didn’t pay too much did you—”</p><p>“<em>Shhh</em>.” Bucky interrupted and motioned to her. “Just say, ‘<em>thank you, Bucky, you’re a total dreamboat’</em>.”</p><p>Aj laughed and nodded, “Thank you, Bucky. You’re a total dreamboat.”</p><p>“Don’t forget it.”</p><p>She held it up to him, “Here, clasp it for me.”</p><p>Aj turned and pulled her hair away from her neck and his eyes widened in surprise. After recovering, he stepped toward her and slipped the necklace around her neck. His eyes darted down to her exposed shoulder where an ‘x’ shaped scar sat. Bucky quickly clasped the golden necklace and stepped back.</p><p>She spun back around and lifted the charm to glance down at it again, “The sun and the moon. Why’d you pick that?”</p><p>“Just seemed fitting.” Bucky replied, his eyes glancing down at the charm sitting on her skin. Bucky held out his right hand to her, the one where the blue and white bracelet was tied around his wrist, “Come on.”</p><p>Aj beamed at him happily and took his hand without hesitation. Bucky always felt cold, and the warmth of her skin as her fingers tangled with his was an intoxicating relief.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [17:01:57] [44.433785, 26.143704]</strong>
</p><p>I think the only reason I didn’t lose my mind today was because of Bucky. He was a very, very good distraction from the fact that I hadn’t heard from anyone other than Beth all day today and the last time she had contacted me was about my criminal debut in the media. Though, like I told Bucky earlier, no news was probably good news. Even more good news, I think I had a real chance of convincing Bucky to come home with me.</p><p>As we sat at a small metal table in a large park plaza I felt hopeful. Today had been the perfect kind of day and he had to see how much it helped him. Living alone and on the run wasn’t going to help him heal. It was a lesson I learned the hard way myself, but if I could spare Bucky any of the pain I went through then it would have been worth it. I never really started to heal until I let him and the Avengers in. Bucky had to do the same or he’d be stuck in stagnant water.</p><p>Now I just had to figure out how to bring the topic up. The trash of our dinner was pushed aside on the table and my hand rested right by his. The back of mine touching his own. All around us you could hear the sounds of Romanian life. People walked the park paths, there was a few children screaming happily as they played on a jungle gym not far from here, and there was music playing from somewhere just faint enough for me to hear.</p><p>“Thank you.” Bucky said suddenly.</p><p>I blinked and tried to backpedal to see if I had missed something, “Huh?”</p><p>“Thank you.” He repeated with a soft smile. “Today was… It was a really good birthday thanks to you.”</p><p>“You deserve that kind of birthday.” I replied. He looked like he wanted to argue, and I figured this was as good of a segue as I was going to get. “You deserve so much more than you think, Buck.” I had so many things I wanted to say, so many things planned out, but it was like they were all gone from my head. I scrambled for words, “I know you feel like you don’t because of…of what happened, but—”</p><p>“Shh.” Bucky snapped.</p><p>“Bucky—”</p><p>“<em>Aj</em>.” Bucky grabbed my hand tightly and it was only then that I noticed something was wrong. His shoulders were tense as his eyes darted around us. I tried to spot what he was seeing, but nothing set off any alarms in my head. “We gotta go.”</p><p>He pulled me up out of my seat and began to drag me away from the table. We got a few feet away when my eyes finally did spot something. A familiar face was sitting on a park bench not even thirty yards away. Vincent was leaning back, his arms outstretched on the back of the bench, and his legs crossed. He had traded the leather jacket get up for a black blazer, white button up, and slacks, and there was some bulky metal brace around his arm under the sleeve, but it was him.</p><p>“Oh my God.” I breathed. I dug my heels into the ground and Bucky nearly pulled my arm out of the socket.</p><p>“Aj.” Bucky said firmly and the look on his face told me he was contemplating just picking me up and carrying me if I didn’t start moving now.</p><p>Vincent gave me a smug smirk, lifted a hand in the shape of a finger gun to point at us, then bent his thumb forward with a wink.</p><p>That’s when the gunfire started.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [17:02:48] [44.433785, 26.143704]</strong>
</p><p>They had followed Vincent and his crew across Europe wondering the entire time why he would be heading to Romania and what he wanted in Bucharest specifically. Daisy’s confusion only grew when they closed in on him at a park. There were too many civilians here for them to try and take in Vincent or the six henchmen he was running with. The plan had been to keep following him until they reached an area less populated or if they were forced to engage. Still, none of them could figure out why Vincent was out here. That is, they couldn’t figure it out until they spotted Aj Bradshaw in their line of vision.</p><p>Oh, Clint was going to be pissed. Clint was going to kill them and then kill Aj.</p><p>“<em>Move in now</em>!” Mac barked over the comm line. “<em>Fitzsimmons get the quinjet here now for pickup. I want evac the moment we’re clear</em>!”</p><p>“<em>Copy</em>!” Simmons chirped.</p><p>Daisy ran out of her hidden spot and threw her hand out at a gunman who turned to fire on her. Civilians were trying to clear the area, running wildly about, and Aj was pinned inside a concrete snack stand that was now taking fire. Another gunmen faced her and she threw her hand out again. Across from her she watched as Mac took out two men himself with gun in hand. Did Mac want to use his special shotgun, the one with an axe welded to the end, probably yes, but since they needed these men alive to question both of them were stuck with the stun guns Fitzsimmons had designed ages ago.</p><p>Daisy pulled out her own Icer and took aim around the area. She fired on one gunmen and kept looking for Vincent who had somehow disappeared in the chaos. Daisy hurried forward, dodging a couple of people, “Get out of here!” She didn’t know if the people around her understood her, but the tone should have given it away. “Run!”</p><p>“<em>I got eyes on Vincent and an unknown</em>!” Mac called out over the line. Daisy made the decision to get to the snack stand. If Mac had Vincent that meant she was on Aj duty. “<em>Might be an inhuman?</em>”</p><p>“Vincent??” Daisy cried.</p><p>“<em>No, the unknown</em>.”</p><p>“What makes you say that?” Daisy questioned and ducked behind a fallen table before rising and firing two stun rounds from the Icer.</p><p>Mac replied quickly, “<em>Well I just watched the unknown punch our guy, and Vincent flew back about a dozen feet. That was my first clue</em>.”</p><p>“I’m almost at Aj.” Daisy yelled back. “Don’t approach the potential inhuman without me!”</p><p>“<em>Wasn’t planning on it, Tremors</em>!”</p><p>Daisy fired a few more rounds into the space ahead of her as cover fire as she sprinted for the snack stand. She slid in and Aj spun with a hand raised and ready to fire an Iron Man styled repulsor right into her face.</p><p>Aj’s eyes widened and her hand dropped, “<em>Daisy</em>?? What the hell are you doing here?”</p><p>“I think I should be asking you the same!” She snapped and Aj at least had the decency to look sheepish. “Are you okay? Are you injured?”</p><p>Aj shook her head, “No, I'm fine. Daisy you gotta get out of here. Vincent—”</p><p>“We’re <em>here</em> for Vincent.” She replied. “Mac, Fitzsimmons, and I. Coulson is following Strucker and <em>you </em>should be at the Compound!”</p><p>“Can we lecture later??” Aj pleaded and peeked around the corner of the concrete building. Daisy yanked her back as a spray of bullets hit the space around them putting dust into the air.</p><p>Daisy nodded, “I have hands on Aj. Fitzsimmons, swing in for pick up.”</p><p>“No, I can’t leave!” Aj argued.</p><p>“This is not something we are arguing about, Aj!”</p><p>“<em>I lost sight of the potential inhuman, but I'm closing in on Vincent</em>.” Mac kept her up to speed.</p><p>This mission had too many variables. She grabbed Aj’s upper arm tightly and planned to run out to where she knew Fitzsimmons would be parked when a large man entered their space. Daisy threw her arm out on instinct and blasted the man right in the chest. With an audible ‘<em>oof’</em>, she watched the guy fly back and land amidst the mess of overturned tables and chairs.</p><p>“No!” Aj yelled and tries to run out after the guy. “That was—he’s a friend!”</p><p>Oops. Daisy shook her head, “I’ll get you to the jet then I'll come back for him, okay?”</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>.” Mac called out. “<em>There are more. There’s more than six. Fuck, Daisy fall back. Watch out for crossfire, the Romanian police have arrived. Fitzsimmons, we need you now</em>!”</p><p>The air was filled with more gunfire and Daisy steeled herself to make a run for it with Aj. Any plan she had went to shit when she looked at the woman in her grip though. The blue eyes had regret in them, “I’m <em>so</em>sorry. Please don’t tell the Avengers I’m here, okay?”</p><p>“Wha—” She didn’t get the word out before Aj slammed her elbow into Daisy’s nose. Her grip loosened enough for Aj to slip away from her. Daisy barked out a curse and rose to chase after, but ricocheting bullets forced her back. It didn’t just force her back either. It forced her to stand behind the safety of the concrete and helplessly watch as Aj got hit. It was too fast. She didn’t see where, but she heard the woman cry out, saw the spray of red, and watched as she hit the ground beside the man she had ran out to.</p><p>Daisy raised her Icer to enter the fray, her nose aching and blood dripping down her face, but a screaming Romanian officer cut her off with a gun raised to her chest. <em>Fuck</em>. Daisy set her own weapon down and raised her hands signaling surrender. The man holstered his own weapon and brought Daisy face down on the ground to handcuff her. When she looked ahead, both Aj and the mystery man were gone.</p><p>“I’m getting arrested.” Daisy barked into the comm as the man read her rights in Romanian. “Anyone have eyes on Aj or Vincent??”</p><p>“<em>Negative</em>.” Mac replied.</p><p>“<em>Good news</em>”, Fitz called out, “<em>It looks like we have—seven, eight, nine—nine of the ten gunmen accounted for and Romanian police are arresting them as well. Bad news, I don’t see Vincent or Aj among the crowd</em>.”</p><p>Daisy groaned and set her forehead against the cool ground.</p><p>This was not good.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-10] [17:24:10] [44.399193, 26.06489]</strong>
</p><p>There was something to be said about the fact that the guy running the front desk of this shitty hostel didn’t even blink an eye at the fact that a large, sweaty Bucky carried me in bleeding. He just threw us a key and kept flipping through whatever magazine he was looking at. The hostel was the same one Bucky tried to get us to stay in earlier and I was proud to say that I had been right in my initial assessment. This place was most definitely the kind of place people came to get murdered.</p><p>“Shit.” I hissed as Bucky set me down on the old mattress pushed against a corner of the tiny, filthy room. He replied back a rush of apologies before throwing our bags down beside me and hurrying to the bathroom tucked in the corner. My eyes darted around the room skeptically. The walls had peeling wallpaper, the floor was gray carpets that I prayed started as gray and not white, and the only pieces of furniture was the mattress I sat on, a love seat couch in the middle of the room, and a broken dresser. In the opposite corner of me was supposed to be a kitchen I think. There was a microwave there at least. The room had a glass door that led outside to a balcony though so there was that.</p><p>Bucky rushed back out to me with a bowl of water. He dropped it by my feet, water sloshing free, and his eyes met me. For the first time since we raced away from the shoot out on his bike we stopped. Bucky’s eyes looked wild and panicked. He had thrown his hat aside already, his hair a mess, and he also ripped his one left-handed glove off.</p><p>“I’m okay.” I tried to reassure him. I gave him a grin that I hoped didn’t look overly pathetic, “It’s just a scratch!”</p><p>His eyes hardened and he grabbed the wet rag to press against my shoulder. I hissed in pain and he spoke, “No, it’s not. It’s a damn <em>bullet hole</em>.”</p><p>In my attempt to get to him, I had gotten hit in the shoulder. Of all the places to get shot in that area, I was thankful it was my left shoulder and not like my head or something. Still, it was bleeding profusely and hurt like a <em>motherfucker</em>.</p><p>Bucky peeled my blue cardigan off me and set it aside. It was stained with blood just like the white tank top I wore. Bucky cleaned the blood from my shoulder again then pressed the rag hard against it. I sucked in a sharp breath, he mumbled an apology, then he leaned forward to peek over my shoulder.</p><p>“Thank God.” Bucky mumbled</p><p>“What??”</p><p>“It didn’t go through. Bullet is still in there.”</p><p>My eyes widened, “That’s a ‘<em>Thank God’</em> moment?? Isn't that bad? I’ve seen the movies!”</p><p>Bucky shook his head, “Exit wounds are worse than entry wounds. Less chance of infection with only one wound too. My only worry is the location of the bullet.”</p><p>I blinked and sucked in a breath trying to focus. With clenched teeth, I tried to move my shoulder. Bucky grabbed my arm and I shook my head, “No, I can do this part. I can figure this part out. Just wait. I gotta—” I tried to take another calming breath. There was too much adrenaline and pain bouncing inside my brain. “Okay.”</p><p>I glanced down at my left hand and flexed my hand a few times. I bent my arm at the elbow a few times as well. Then I took my right hand and traced my fingers over the skin covering the front and back of my hand then up my arm.</p><p>“I think I’m okay.” I breathed. “If the bullet had severed that bundle of nerves in my shoulder then I either wouldn’t be able to move something or feel anything. Or both.” I glanced back to his eyes to see relief there. I gave him a small smile, “Plus, I haven’t passed out or died of blood loss yet, so I think that means I didn’t hit an artery either.”</p><p>Bucky groaned and muttered something in Russian. He ripped open his bag and pulled out a bunch of first aid materials. “I have some too.”</p><p>Bucky reached over to where he had dropped my bag when we came in and pulled out my first aid kit. There wasn’t much, but it’d be fine. He suddenly stopped and shook his head, “There’s a shower in the bathroom. How about you clean up some before I wrap up the wound? It needs to stay covered until you see a doctor.”</p><p>“Yeah, okay.” I said and Bucky helped me up to my feet. I paused by my bag to grab clothes to put on and soap I had stolen from the nice hotel we left. My eyes spotted my dark screened phone. In an attempt to keep Daisy from tracking me, I had turned the phone off and popped out the sim card for good measure.</p><p>It only took me a couple minutes to shower. In fact, it took more time trying to take my clothes off with one moving arm than the actual shower. I didn’t take my time with it though. I just cleaned the grime off my body. Afterwards I changed into clean clothes, but the tricky part was going to be the upper half. I was planning on putting the bloody tank top back on so Bucky would have access to the wound but getting my bra on was damn near impossible. I couldn’t just leave it off either because the tank top was loose enough to show everything.</p><p>So, now I had a choice.</p><p>Show Bucky my back or just risk flashing him.</p><p>It was sad that I actually had to take a moment to make this decision.</p><p>With a grunt of pain, I pressed the front of my bra against my chest with my arms through the straps. The only person who had seen them were Clint, and mentally I was handling the scars much, <em>much</em> better, but… The thought of revealing that part of myself, to actually be <em>seen</em>, was daunting.</p><p>“Bucky.” I called out softly through the closed door.</p><p>He was there in an instant, “Aj? You alright??”</p><p>“Yeah, I just. I need your help getting dressed.” I replied with an embarrassed sigh. There was a pause that I tried to fill. “If it makes you uncomfortable I can—”</p><p>“Open up, doll.” Bucky said.</p><p>I tightly pressed my hand to the front of my bra to make sure it wouldn’t flop loose then opened the door. Bucky, ever the gentleman, didn’t let his eyes leave my own. It was almost funny the amount of concentration I could see in his features. I chuckled, “I’m gonna turn around for you to clasp the bra, but… you should know that…” Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I sighed, “Just don’t get angry, okay?”</p><p>He looked like he was going to question my request, but I just spun around. It was answer enough. Bucky didn’t make a sound. He didn’t even suck in a breath like Clint had when I showed him. It was painfully quiet, and I wanted to step to the side just so I could look into the mirror and see his face over my shoulder.</p><p>Finally, I felt a soft finger trace against my skin.</p><p>“It was Boss.” I said. “I told Clint and them so now it isn't so bad talking about it. Kind of. Long story short, he’d carve a line into me when he was upset at me breaking some unwritten rule of his.”</p><p>Bucky’s hand pressed against my back and I finally heard him let out a slow exhale. His metal hand joined, the cold of it making me jump, and I felt him grab the sides of my bra to clasp. After though, he left hand one hand over the lines.</p><p>I let my right hand drop from my front since it wasn’t holding anything up anymore. Bucky still hadn’t said anything, and I felt awkward about just standing here in my bra and shorts. Usually showing skin never really bothered me. It was just something I had gotten used to over the years, but right now it felt weird to me.</p><p>“They’re pretty ugly, huh?” I chuckled.</p><p>Bucky’s hand left my skin like he had touched something hot. He took my right elbow in his hand and turned me around. His face looked blank. I couldn’t read the look in his eyes again, and I wanted nothing more than to see into his head. Bucky, his eyes never leaving mine, reached back with his right hand to grab the back collar of his shirt and my eyes widened when he pulled it over his head.</p><p>Unlike gentleman Bucky Barnes who did not ogle at me, my eyes immediately shot to the defined, muscular lines of his abdomen and chest. Heat flooded me, but it drifted away when my eyes landed on where his metal arm entered his skin. A small gasp left my lips. The metal really was his <em>entire</em> arm. The flesh began above the end of his collarbone, where it should meet his shoulder, and all of it was red and <em>angry</em>. Linear scars marked the front around the rim of the joint. Lines that suspiciously looked like nail marks. Like the kind of marks someone would get from <em>clawing</em> at their arm.</p><p>My right hand raised to touch him, but I hesitated. My eyes darted back to his and he just nodded once. I let my fingers brush against the red, inflamed skin and he hissed. Slowly, I let my fingers trace over his collarbone where I could feel more metal sitting right beneath his skin. I followed the edge of this piece of metal and the size of it startled me. The metal implant was also most of his collarbone and it circled the outside of his pec muscle and down his side a bit. I stepped closer to him, nearly against him, and let my hand trace around his side and up his back still following the implant. It was his entire shoulder blade and I could feel something rough under his skin lead all the way to his spin and neck.</p><p>“I…” I shook my head, “I had no idea that you…”</p><p>“That the arm was so invasive?” Bucky chuckled humorlessly. He nodded, “When I lost my arm, I kind of lost all the workings that go with it. My shoulder was… Anyways, this was what they had to do to make me functional. To have the strength it does they had to bind it securely. To get feeling they had to connect it to my actual nerves.”</p><p>“Bucky…” I breathed.</p><p>“Are mine ugly?” Bucky whispered.</p><p>I let my hand flatten against his back, eyes narrowing, “<em>God, no</em>.”</p><p>“Then neither are yours.” Bucky replied firmly.</p><p>We stood there for a minute just staring at one another. That was the case wasn’t it? Our scars weren’t ugly. What they did to us was.</p><p>Bucky nodded once, “You’re bleeding onto your bra.”</p><p>The words snapped me out of my daze, and I took a quick step away from him. I glanced down at my left shoulder to see it was indeed dribbling blood still and the blood was dripping down to the edge of my bra. He chuckled and led me out of the bathroom while putting his shirt back on. I watched his face twist in pain when he used his left arm. It was bad. It was really bad, but Tony could fix it. I knew he could. He’d probably need outside help, but we’d get Bucky out of pain.</p><p>Bucky motioned for me to sit back on the mattress as he grabbed my first aid kit to pop it open. Some of my blood had already stained the damn thing and honestly there were worse stains on it.</p><p>“This reminds me of how we first met.” I said with a smirk. “Just, you know, a little less Russian.”</p><p>Bucky scoffed with a grin, “Really?”</p><p>“All I gotta do is get septic and it’ll be déjà vu.”</p><p>“You’re <em>killing</em> me, doll.” Bucky chuckled and ripped open a few alcohol swabs to clean the skin around the wound. My nose scrunched every time he got close to the torn flesh and he mumbled more apologies under his breath. “Here, lie down.”</p><p>Bucky set a hand on my back and laid me down. I didn’t understand why I needed to lie down for him to wrap up my wound. Wouldn’t it be easier if I was sitting up so he could—</p><p>Rubbing alcohol was poured straight onto the wound and I let out both a startled yelp and cry of pain. Bucky held down my other shoulder, more apologies from his lips, and I grit my teeth then shook my head. I let out a chuckle, “<em>You handsome bastard</em>.”</p><p>“Sorry, doll.” Bucky smirked and helped me sit up. “Thought it’d be better if I caught you by surprise.”</p><p>“Mmm, it hurt about the same I think.” I replied.</p><p>Bucky went to work on wrapping up my wound and I quietly watched him as he worked. His face was still blank, but there was a small wrinkle between his eyebrows as he focused. When he got nearly done, I spoke up, “You know, I'm okay, right?” Bucky’s eyes darted to meet mine before cutting back to his working hands. “Forreal, Bucky. I’m okay, and today was <em>my</em> fault—” He scoffed, and I forced his hands away so he had to look at me. “It was. I was the one who pushed us to go out, I'm the one Vincent was coming after!”</p><p>“Aj—”</p><p>“Seriously, and to be honest.” I chuckled. “My brain only had room for Ultron, HYDRA, and Boss. Until he started shooting at us, I kind of forgot Vincent existed.”</p><p>Bucky shook his head at me, “I can’t even take you to the emergency room because of who I am.”</p><p>“I hardly need an emergency room.” I scoffed. “This is perfectly manageable here.”</p><p>“That isn't the point, Aj!” Bucky suddenly rose. He took in aggravated breath and turned his back to me while running his right hand through his hair in frustration. I pushed myself up off the mattress with a muted grunt and stepped toward him. I heard him mumble under his breath, “Steve could take you to the hospital.”</p><p>I narrowed my eyes at him, “Bucky.”</p><p>He turned to look at me and the weight of his gaze nearly made me crumple like a stack of cards. I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and took another step toward him, “I don’t regret <em>anything</em> about today.”</p><p>Bucky groaned, “Can you please just use a <em>little</em> common sense? You have to have at <em>least</em> a shred of it.” I opened my mouth to argue, though I didn’t have much of a case to plead on the topic, but he continued. “Can’t you see that being around me is only going to bring you pain? Either directly or indirectly?”</p><p>“What does that even mean??” I pressed. “Bucky—”</p><p>“Stay right here.” Bucky said firmly. His eyes didn’t waver from mine, “Do <em>not</em> leave this room. I’m going to make sure no one followed us here and grab some food. I’m serious, Aj.”</p><p>I nodded, “Okay, I won't leave.”</p><p>Bucky held my gaze for a second longer before leaving the room with a nod of his own. With a sigh, I dropped back down onto the mattress and flinched when my shoulder jostled around. This was going to get annoying fast.</p><p>I shifted back so I could lean against the wall. My mind drifted to thoughts of the others. Were they doing okay? More than anything I wished we could all be back in the Tower for family dinner or game night. Something normal. Something non-life threatening. More than anything I also wish Steve were here. He’d know what to say to Bucky. He’d know what to say to me. Steve would have answers to this whereas all I had was a bullet hole in my shoulder.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[2015-03-11] [00:24:56] [44.399193, 26.06489]</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Crying blue eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bleeding red blood.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The smell of gunfire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The sound of screaming.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ready to comply.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Finish it, Soldat.”</em>
</p><p>He woke up in a cold sweat. He didn’t know this room. He didn’t know. He didn’t know. His eyes darted around quickly. Locked door. No weapons. Bloody mattress. A woman. His mission? Eyes focused on the face sleeping on the couch beside him. No. No. <em>Not</em> a mission. <em>Fuck</em>. It was Aj. <em>It was Aj</em>. He was Bucky. She was Aj.</p><p>Bucky shoved himself up from the couch with a sharp breath and buried his hands in his hair. <em>Oh God</em>. The nightmare had been his worst fear instead of a memory and somehow, tonight, that was worse. Bucky hadn’t woken up entirely himself and he was so close—too close to Aj. He turned on his heel and hurried over to the glass door. It took him a second to force himself to open it rather than just crash through it.</p><p>The cool, night air helped.</p><p>Bucky took in a few deep, long breaths.</p><p>His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. His sister’s name was Rebecca. His best friend’s name was Steve Rogers. He was in Bucharest. Aj was here. Aj was here with him.</p><p>Bucky leaned his arms against the balcony railing and folded his body in so he could rest his head on his forearms. As if seeing Aj get shot hadn’t been enough to convince him to stay away from her that dream sure as hell was. He hadn’t even meant to fall asleep. Aj picked the couch over the wet and bloody mattress. Bucky was going to stay on guard, just in case, but hours after she had passed out he took a break and just sat beside her. He didn’t remember dozing off.</p><p>He remembered the nightmare though.</p><p>Bucky felt his chest tighten as he lost his breath. It was happening. He was falling apart. He was caving in on himself. This was why he stayed away. This was why he ran. What if this nightmare had been one of the ones that woke him up violently? What if he had lashed out and attacked? Bucky was a monster. Bucky was a monster cursed to wander this Earth and relive his sins, and he had accepted that fact. He’d force himself through every terrible memory because he deserved it.</p><p>The thought of hurting Aj made him ill. The thought of him putting his hands on her or Steve? The thought of his arm, the weapon of mass destruction welded to his fucking skin, touching Steve or Aj with intent to harm? He couldn’t survive that. He wouldn’t survive that. Bucky would throw himself into the depths of the ocean and live at the bottom of the sea if it meant no harm would befall either of them.</p><p>“<em>Bucky</em>?”</p><p>He felt his entire body stiffen at the soft voice behind him. Bucky clenched his jaw and pressed his forehead to his arms harder. He wished he could disappear. He wished the darkness of the night would just bury him alive so she wouldn’t see him.</p><p>A hand pressed to his back lightly and a ragged gasp left him.</p><p>“Look at me.”</p><p>He shook his head.</p><p>“Please?”</p><p>The gentle hand shifted to his arm and began to lightly pull. Bucky followed the tug and turned to face her. Aj looked tired. From where he stood the moonlight over his shoulder illuminated her features and it seemed fitting.</p><p>“Bad dream?” Aj asked softly.</p><p>Bucky shook his head, his voice sounded like gravel, “<em>No</em>. A reminder. A reminder of what I am.” Aj’s frown deepened, but her hands lifted to his face. Her hands cupped either side and the softness of her hands, the gentle way she moved her thumb against his skin, was staggering. It felt like a physical blow. Bucky took in another shaky breath, “Go back inside. It’s safer inside for you.”</p><p>“Not without you.” Aj replied. He shook his head again, tried to pull away, but her grip tightened. “Listen to me. Listen to me, James Buchanan Barnes.” He stilled and she loosened her grip again. Aj shook her head at him, “You are <em>not</em> what HYDRA made you do.”</p><p>It felt like someone took out his knees. Bucky’s hands griped the side of her arms desperately as his head drifted forward. Aj shifted her hands to the back of his neck and brought his head down on her good shoulder. Bucky closed his eyes and just focused on the caress of her thumbs on his neck.</p><p>“<em>You are not what HYDRA made you do</em>. You are a <em>good</em> man.” Aj whispered again.</p><p>God, he wanted to believe it. More than anything. Bucky had never been more desperate for something in his entire life. Aj mumbled something else, pulling his head off her shoulder, and then began to lead him back inside. He kept his hands on her, afraid that if he let go she’d disappear.</p><p>Aj sat down back in her spot on the couch and brought him down beside her. Bucky was caught off guard when she pulled him down so his head rested in her lap. She leaned back in her seat and let her fingers rake through his hair. The feeling made his body melt into the couch.</p><p>A moment passed and he could hear her humming something under her breath. Bucky blinked up at her lazily, “You gonna sing me a lullaby, doll?”</p><p>“Maybe.” She chuckled. “You got a request?”</p><p>“Dealer’s choice.” He whispered back.</p><p>Aj softly sang a song he didn’t recognize, but the tune was hypnotizing. That might’ve just been her though. After a minute, Bucky spoke but he chose to speak in Romanian, “<em>You’re beautiful. Inside and out. It’s no wonder I can’t help but fall for you.</em>” He let his lips twitch up in a small smile, “<em>I wish I could’ve met you before they broke me</em>.”</p><p>“That’s Romanian, right?” Aj glanced down at him. “I like the way you sound when you speak it. What did you say?”</p><p>Bucky reached up with his right hand to tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear. He brought his hand back down on his abdomen and spoke in English, “You don’t have to stay, you know? You can leave me. You <em>should</em> leave me.”</p><p>He wanted Aj to leave him. Bucky wanted her to make that decision to protect herself. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be strong enough to quit her, but if she asked him to stay away he could do it. He could do it for her.</p><p>“I love the sound of your voice <em>so much</em>, but I <em>swear</em> to God, Buck, if you don’t shut up and go to sleep I’m gonna elbow you right in the face.”</p><p>Bucky chuckled in response and she went back to mumbling the song. As time passed he could feel her fingers begin to slow. He watched as her eyes fluttered close and her head dipped. Bucky lifted his hand again to push her head against the couch so her neck wouldn’t be sore in the morning light.</p><p>His eyes traced her features, wishing that he could live in this one moment, but it shattered when his eyes landed on the necklace she wore around her neck. Dried blood stuck to the gold of the sun and it seemed like as much of a sign that the heavens would give him. Bucky’s selfish desire to hold her close, to keep her in his life, was going to get her hurt. He was going to be her downfall. He left his head in her lap and didn’t untangle her fingers from his hair as he closed his eyes.</p><p>Tonight, he’d be selfish for one last time.</p><p>Tomorrow, Bucky would let go.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. End of the Line</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Officially we have caught up to my writing speed unfortunately lol. I am going to continue to try and get a chapter out every 4-5 days, but just in case I don't I'm sorry in advance! I have a test coming up that I'm studying for right now (which is why we've caught up on my writing) but once that passes I'll be focused back on this! Leave me comments! I need the serotonin lolol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is bad." –Terry Pratchett</em>
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<p>"How do you feel?"</p>
<p>It took every ounce of my small frame not to roll my eyes at the question. From the moment we woke up in the hostel from hell, that's all Bucky has said to me. Every twenty minutes or so he'd ask for my status as if I was going to spontaneously drop dead.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm dying." I replied dryly. "Definitely dying right now <em>unlike</em> half an hour ago when I was completely and totally fine."</p>
<p>Bucky shot me a glare over his shoulder, and I raised an eyebrow at him in response. To be honest, I really wasn't completely and totally fine. My shoulder ached something awful, I had a headache, and every time I was dumb enough to try and move my left arm I'd get a shooting pain down to my fingers. That was worrisome, but I wasn't going to bring it up in conversation.</p>
<p>"Bucky, <em>where</em> are we going?" I pressed and hurried my steps so I was in stride with him. He had ditched the bike, claiming we needed a new vehicle, and since I didn't have the experience to know any better, I just followed along with his plan. That left us walking though which was less than ideal at the moment.</p>
<p>"There." Bucky replied and nodded ahead. Down the street was a small clinic nestled between two other buildings. "I called ahead this morning. Offered the doctor a lot of money to clear out the clinic and just see you."</p>
<p>"I thought we agreed that I was fine."</p>
<p>"You are <em>not</em> fine, doll." Bucky shot me another hard look. "I see you wince every time you move. You nearly cried this morning when you tried to put your book bag on."</p>
<p>I twisted my lips and just silently walked beside him. It wasn't like I could argue successfully with him on this. Bucky was an observant guy. Plus, if he already went through the trouble of getting me a sketch ass appointment then I might as well go. The shooting pain was suspiciously nerve like, and I was worried the bullet might be pressing on something it shouldn't be.</p>
<p>"Come on." He held the doors open and ushered me in. When he stepped in behind me, I had hoped he'd offer me his hand or arm like yesterday, but Bucky kept a good foot of distance between us this morning at all times.</p>
<p>Bucky barked out something in Romanian and I just glanced around the tiny foyer we stood in. There was a staircase pressed to the wall to my right and an open archway in front of us past the stairs. Chairs lined the wall of the room, it must have been the makeshift waiting room, but like the rest of this part of the city it looked rundown. This building was very obviously not designed to be a place of healthcare. People were just making do.</p>
<p>A man walked down the stairs. He was chubby and balding with eyebrows that seemed to furrow together naturally, but the brown eyes behind his wire rimmed glasses held a kindness in them. He wore business clothes and a stethoscope around his neck. The doctor said a few lines in Romanian and Bucky replied back in ease.</p>
<p>"My name is Dr. Escu. Follow me, miss." The doctor said suddenly, and it took me a minute to realize it was English and directed at me. I jogged after him down a dim hallway with Bucky only a few steps behind me. The doctor stopped outside a door and turned to me, "Can you tell me what happened in your own words?"</p>
<p>I glanced back at Bucky in worry, but my grumpy friend just nodded once. I turned back to Escu, "I was shot. In the shoulder. Entry wound, but no exit wound." He nodded at me patiently, but I was sure he had heard all that from Bucky. I hummed, "Uh, symptom wise… pain, obviously. My shoulder is <em>really</em> sore—" I glanced at Bucky briefly before looking back. "—and, I, uh, I think I'm having nerve pain now. Anytime I move my shoulder I get pain down to my fingers."</p>
<p>"Like electricity?" He pressed and I nodded.</p>
<p>Escu opened the door and motioned me in and left Bucky in the hall. The room had a large x-ray machine. It was definitely an x-ray. However, it was as old as the building it sat in and had obviously seen better days. It was the kind of device a hospital probably got rid of, but a small rundown clinic would cherish.</p>
<p>The doctor positioned me in a chair and went into an adjoining room telling me not to move. I was 100% going to get radiation poisoning from this thing. There was no way this machine wasn't leaking it out. A few minutes later, he stepped back out with a film in his hands.</p>
<p>"Let us go to my office."</p>
<p>Escu opened the door to let me out and Bucky, who had been leaning against the opposite wall, shot up straight at the sight of us. I gave him a reassuring smile before the doctor led us down a few more doors and into the room. This room was larger and filled with light from the many windows. Off to the side was a messy desk, and on the other side were a few exam tables.</p>
<p>"See here." The doctor motioned me to come closer. He lifted the film up to the window so I could see it easily. My bones looked like bones, but there were two bright, glaring features on the film. One was my necklace and the other was the bullet. The bullet was right under the lateral aspect of my clavicle. "You are <em>very</em> lucky, girl."</p>
<p>"<em>Debatable</em>." I mumbled.</p>
<p>"Still, I cannot see muscle damage or if a nerve was damaged with an x-ray. Location wise it is possible."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "The nerve pain is new. Last night, I was fine. Could the bullet have shifted? And now it's just pressing down on one?"</p>
<p>Escu nodded, "Perhaps. I would recommend getting the bullet removed as quickly as you can."</p>
<p>"Can you do it? Here?" Bucky pressed and I assumed he spoke English for my sake.</p>
<p>"I can…" Dr. Escu looked skeptical. He shook his head, "It would be safer at a hospital. They could put her under, take the bullet out, check the structures, and debride any damaged tissue surgically."</p>
<p>Bucky clenched his jaw then nodded, "Alright. I'm taking you to a hospital—"</p>
<p>"<em>Hold up</em>!" I took a step away from him. "That seems like a bad idea."</p>
<p>"Didn't you hear him? You need to be put <em>under</em> for this. It's the safest option." Bucky shook his head. "I should've taken you last night immediately."</p>
<p>I turned on my heel to face Dr. Escu, "I want you to take the bullet out. <em>Here</em>."</p>
<p>"Miss, you should listen to your boyfriend."</p>
<p>"My <em>boyfriend</em>—" I didn't know if this was some sort of cover or if the guy was just assuming, but I ran with it regardless, "—is being a <em>dumbass</em>." I shot Bucky a look and he just glared at me in return. "Please, Dr. Escu?"</p>
<p>The doctor nodded once, "Let me prepare. Remove your sweater."</p>
<p>He walked out of the room to grab supplies and I began to struggle with the sweater I had on. Bucky sighed, dropping both our bags to the ground, and walked over to help me just like he had helped me put it on this morning.</p>
<p>"This is a bad idea." He hummed.</p>
<p>"You brought me here."</p>
<p>Bucky carefully pulled the sweater over my head leaving me in a bloody tank top. He shook his head, "Because I'm <em>desperate</em>, Aj." There was an awkward pause between us. He sighed and set my sweater down onto the bags, "This is my fault."</p>
<p>"You didn't—"</p>
<p>"I didn't shoot you, but this pain?" Bucky motioned to my arm. "That's on <em>me</em>. I let you sit in a dirty hostel with a hunk of metal in your arm."</p>
<p>I shook my head at him, "Hey, I thought it was a good plan."</p>
<p>"Yeah, you also thought coming to Romania was a good plan and look where that has gotten you, doll." He argued.</p>
<p>"Still don't regret it." I replied back softly. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."</p>
<p>Bucky looked frustrated, like he wanted to argue, but Dr. Escu came back in with a handful of supplies. He motioned for me to lay down on one of the exam tables. Bucky stood by my head as I watched the doctor rub alcohol over his hands. Not an ideal sterilization. He came back over with more gauze, alcohol, and some metal instruments.</p>
<p>Escu peeled off the wrapping that Bucky had done last night and looked it over, humming to himself in thought. I glanced around at his supplies and sat up a bit, "Where's your local anesthetic?"</p>
<p>"What part of this clinic makes it look like I have access to local anesthetic?" Escu raised an eyebrow at me.</p>
<p>I frowned, "You have an <em>x-ray machine</em>."</p>
<p>"It was easier to come by that than medicine." Escu replied. "All I have to offer you is antibiotics for after."</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus</em>." I mumbled and laid back down nervously.</p>
<p>Escu began to speak Romanian and Bucky argued with him in the same language. That wasn't reassuring either. After another minute, Bucky sighed and came around the table so he stood over my head. He leaned forward some, his hands on either side of me, and I was looking up at his upside down face.</p>
<p>"I have to hold you down, doll." He quietly. "Are you sure about this?"</p>
<p>"Yes." I replied even though the answer was '<em>no'</em>. Going to a hospital was for sure a bad idea, too many risks, and the more I bumbled through this the more Bucky would blame himself. Better to get it out now, fast, and let it be forgotten.</p>
<p>Escu said something else I couldn't understand. Bucky sighed again and set his hands on me. His gloved, metal hand clamped down on my left upper arm pushing it down into the table and making me hiss in pain. He set his right hand on my right shoulder and pressed down there as well.</p>
<p>"I will be as quick as I can."</p>
<p>I felt my fingers began to tremble as my heart raced in my ribcage. Bucky leaned down further, "Hey, you can do this. You're so strong, doll."</p>
<p>Then, pain.</p>
<p><em>Hot, white, searing pain</em>.</p>
<p>Instinctively, my body tried to jump from the table, but Bucky held down tightly. I gnashed my teeth together trying to hold back a scream as Escu dug around in my wound looking for the bullet.</p>
<p>"You're doing so good. Almost there, doll." Bucky whispered comforts to me. Another sharp jab had me crying out and Bucky looked away only to yell at the doctor in Romanian. His eyes were back on mine. My vision went blurry as my eyes filled with tears.</p>
<p>The sharp pain swapped to an ache when Escu pulled out of my shoulder while speaking in Romanian. I gasped, "Did you get it?"</p>
<p>"Where's the bullet?" Bucky pressed.</p>
<p>"When did you say you got shot?" Escu asked with a look of confusion on his face.</p>
<p>I lifted my right hand to swipe away the tears before answering, "Last night. Why?"</p>
<p>Escu narrowed his eyes at me, looked to Bucky, then back to me, "You've already begun to heal. There's tissue over the bullet. That may be why it shifted. The tissue is pressing it down."</p>
<p>The doctor mumbled to himself and stepped away. My eyes shot back to Bucky just as he looked at me. Bucky shook his head, "I know you say you heal fast, but…"</p>
<p>"That's crazy, right?" I whispered back. How was that possible? The fact that my body was already healing wasn't surprising, human bodies were incredible, but the fact that I had healed enough to have tissue that blocked the bullet in was… That was impossible, right? My thoughts were interrupted when Escu came back with a new tool in his hands. "<em>No</em>!"</p>
<p>"Aj!" Bucky was caught off guard when I sat up and tried to climb off the table. He kept me from scrambling off entirely.</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I don't like—"</p>
<p><em>Knives</em>. Technically, I knew it was a scalpel and it was in the hands of a professional, but a blade was a blade. Bucky wrapped his metal arm around my back to keep me from falling off the table when I leaned back as far from Escu as I could.</p>
<p>"I'm going to use the scalpel to cut some of the tissue and pull the bullet out. It will hurt, but I have a clear view." Escu explained.</p>
<p>"It's okay." I shook my head again. "I've actually grown kind of fond of the bullet." I turned my head to look up at Bucky, "It'll be like a—like a Romanian souvenir! That's better than a postcard."</p>
<p>Bucky said something to Escu in the doctor's language before turning back to me. He squeezed my arm lightly, "You have to get the bullet out. We've already gone this far. Aj…"</p>
<p>"Buck, I <em>can't</em>." I whispered. "I can't let it touch me. I <em>hate</em> knives. I hate—"</p>
<p>He kept his left arm around me and lifted his right to cup the side of my face, focusing my gaze only on his face, "I know. I know. I understand." Bucky didn't need to hear my reasoning. He had seen the evidence on my back. That was enough. "But… I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, doll. You gotta believe that."</p>
<p>I could feel the cold, palpable dread begin to loosen its grip from around my heart as I stared into his stormy eyes. Bucky was here. Bucky wouldn't lead me wrong. He wouldn't let me get hurt. It reminded me of being in that bunker, hearing the gunshots, and Bucky knelt by the cot with determination in his eyes.</p>
<p>He had asked me if I trusted him.</p>
<p>That answer hadn't changed for me.</p>
<p>I nodded once and Bucky laid me back down on the table. We got back into the position with him leaning over and pressing me down into the exam table. Dr. Escu came back into view with the scalpel in hand and I couldn't help but stiffen.</p>
<p>"Hey, look at me. Only at me." Bucky said softly. My eyes snapped to his and he gave me a small smile. "Just right here. Don't look away. I got you, alright?"</p>
<p>"Okay." I replied meekly.</p>
<p>Escu said something, I missed it, then I felt the cold, sharpness of the scalpel. I gasped but there was no telling if it was from the pain or the memory of a knife carving into my back over and <em>over and over and ove</em>r—</p>
<p>"You're doing so good." Bucky cooed as another cry of pain slipped from my lips. Escu removed the blade to swap it back with the blunt scissors. Tears built up again, blurring my vision, but I didn't look away from the upside down face above me. Another sharp pain then a cry of success in Romanian. Bucky gasped in relief, "That's it. That's it, doll. You're done."</p>
<p>I forced myself up quickly, Bucky moved his arms to allow the motion, and Escu pressed gauze to my bleeding wound. I took it from him to hold it as the doctor scrambled away and took in deep, gasping breaths. I was crying. Tears dripped down my cheeks and I could feel my hands shaking.</p>
<p>Bucky shifted so he stood in front of me. Despite trying to keep distance between us earlier in the day, he didn't hesitate to come in close right now. He lifted his hands to swipe away my tears, "Hey, you did it. <em>I'm sorry</em>. It's all over now." I shook my head, trying to calm myself down, but it was hard to find stability in my tilting mind. My eyes shut tightly, and I could feel Boss' hand tracing bare skin on my back. I could feel his lips on my ear as he whispered cruel words to me. "Aj…"</p>
<p>"I <em>hate</em> him." I sobbed. "<em>I hate him so muc</em>h. I hate that he <em>broke</em> me. I—I hate—"</p>
<p>My words tangled with gasps. Bucky quickly pulled me forward so my head rested against his chest. His right hand cupped the back of my head, holding me as close as possible, and his left rubbed my back soothingly.</p>
<p>"You're <em>not</em> broken. You're <em>so</em> strong, Aj. Strongest woman I've <em>ever</em> known, doll." Bucky whispered. I felt him press his lips to my hair and focused on him and him alone. His metal hand was tracing back and forth over my scars like he could wipe them away. His right hand was a heavy weight on my head that kept me grounded. I heard him whispering in Romanian to me, the same phrase over and over again. With my face pressed against his chest I could smell the floral scent of the soap I had stolen from the hotel, lavender, but underneath it was something stronger. Smoke and trees with copper as a faint note. "I'm so sorry, doll."</p>
<p>Those words came though clear. My hands had stopped shaking and my breaths were coming out even again. I swallowed the lump in my throat and spoke against his chest, "Nothing to be sorry for."</p>
<p>"I disagree." He mumbled. There was a beat of silence before he followed it up with a question, "You okay?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. That wasn't so bad." I joked, my voice still muffled by his chest. I felt the rumble of him chuckling at my poor attempt at humor. Slowly, I pulled away from him and Bucky shifted so I was looking directly at him. Bucky held my gaze, looking for something, and then he rubbed my cheek with his hand one last time. "Thanks, Bucky."</p>
<p>He shook his head, "Don't thank me." Dr. Escu came back with some bandages, pills, and a sling. Bucky tapped under my chin once, "I'll be right back. We've been here a minute. I wanna walk the perimeter."</p>
<p>I nodded and he said something to Dr. Escu before walking out. It was silent in the room as he bandaged up my shoulder. He hummed lightly, "How does your shoulder feel?"</p>
<p>"Hurts still." I replied and moved my shoulder a bit. There was no more electricity. "Nerve isn't compressed anymore. That's cool. Thanks."</p>
<p>"Of course. The muscles that make up your rotator cuff are still damaged. Your best hope is to not use it for a few weeks and hope no permanent damage is done."</p>
<p>"I'm a fast healer." I said out of habit then tilted my head at the words. Apparently, I was a very, very fast healer. Like, a suspiciously fast healer.</p>
<p>"And a non-compliant patient from what I can guess." Escu argued, and I let out a small laugh. The man was smart. "<em>Stay in the sling</em>."</p>
<p>After wrapping up my shoulder, Escu helped me back into my sweater and then put me into the sling. He gave me a pill to take now and a pack of a few more to take later. I stood up and walked over to my bag. The front pocket had my leftover cash. It probably came out to be around $600. I handed it over to him, "It isn't much considering what you've done for us, but I'll remember you. When I get stateside I'll send you more."</p>
<p>"Thank you." Dr. Escu replied. "Anything helps us."</p>
<p>The door swung open and we both glanced over to see Bucky rush in and grab our bags. He nodded to me, "What was the name of your friend who showed up yesterday?"</p>
<p>"Daisy?"</p>
<p>"She's here. Camped outside." Bucky said.</p>
<p>My eyes narrowed in thought. I hadn't put my phone back together again so she didn't track that. My eyes drifted down to the maroon and gold bands around my wrists. With a groan, I rolled my eyes, "Tony <em>damn </em>Stark."</p>
<p>"What?" Bucky pressed.</p>
<p>"He put trackers in my bracelets. I just know it." I replied and began to try and unlatch them. I got the watch one off easy enough but trying to get the right one off with my arm in a sling was tougher.</p>
<p>Bucky sighed, "Is there any way I can convince you to stay here and let your friend find you while I leave?" I snapped my gaze up to him in a glare. He nodded in defeat, "That's what I thought."</p>
<p>"Can I borrow a piece of paper?" I asked Escu who had moved to his desk. He nodded and offered me a scrap of something he didn't need. As I finished writing, I heard a gunshot below us, and my eyes widened. "What was—?"</p>
<p>Bucky's eyebrows furrowed in worry, "We gotta go."</p>
<p>I set the bracelets and the note on the exam table while Bucky spoke to Escu in Romanian. The doctor gave me a firm smile and wished me well as Bucky dragged me out his window out onto a fire escape. Bucky grabbed the ladder and shoved it down to the ground floor then cursed when it made a loud noise. He got to the ground then looked up at me.</p>
<p>"Jump."</p>
<p>"<em>Jump</em>?" I asked. "Why can't I just climb?"</p>
<p>"Your arm, doll. Come on. I got you."</p>
<p>He wasn't wrong. The distance wasn't too far. I could probably jump down on my own, but the risk of rolling my ankle was too high. I climb onto the top of the ladder then sucked in a sharp breath and let go. I fell through the air for a second, but instead of hitting the hard ground I landed in Bucky's arms. It jostled my shoulder and I hissed, but the pain was gone as quick as it came. Bucky grabbed my good arm and hurried down the back alley away from the building.</p>
<p>"Now what?"</p>
<p>"Now, we find a car to steal, doll."</p>
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<p>The coordinates Clint had given her took her and Lucky straight to the outskirts of Bucharest, Romania. Just like he had said, all she had to do was punch them in and enjoy the ride. However, he had never clarified how landing would work? So, the fact that the quinjet's wing was ajar and the landing wheels were bent was not Kate's fault. She would not be taking on that blame whatsoever. Kate had some issues to work through in life and owing SHIELD a bajillion dollars to buy a new jet did not need to be one of them.</p>
<p>"Lucky, no." Kate called out and the dog stopped sniffing around the trash and strolled back to her side. He whined and she reached down to pet him, "I promise I'll get you food soon, bud. I'll buy you a big ol' pizza, okay?"</p>
<p>First things first, she had to find the missing Instagram star/criminal/avenger's buddy. It shouldn't be too hard with the fancy tracker that had been in the quinjet. Clint had told her how to hone in on the woman's signal and then just follow it. Kate wasn't entirely sure why this woman was giving off a signal? She hoped it was just a cell phone she was tracking, but she wouldn't put it past the paranoid Avengers to actually put an actual tracker in someone.</p>
<p>Kate turned on the busy corner and continued to follow the directions that the handheld machine gave her. So far, it had led her to a rather unsavory part of Bucharest. Already she had gotten a number of strange looks, but no one had approached her yet. Though that might have something to do with the bow and sheath of arrows she wore on her back.</p>
<p>Ten more minutes of walking and she finally made it onto the same street as the signal. Kate waited on the corner, tucking the machine into her coat pocket, and glanced around. It was coming from a building centered in the middle. It was small, only two stories, and a bit run down. She didn't know any Romanian but based on the big red cross on the sign it was probably a clinic.</p>
<p>Kate's eyes scanned the streets looking for anything that stood out. Clint always harped on her that she needed to know every inch of her surroundings. On a mission as an archer, she was the eyes. If the eyes missed something then it was over. Or something like that. The analogy he had used had been weird, but she got the gist of it.</p>
<p>The only thing that stood out to her was a woman, maybe a little older than her, standing on the sidewalk across the street from the clinic. Her clothes were too nice to be from around this part of the neighborhood and she stared at the clinic while talking on the phone with someone. Suspicious. Kate inched a bit closer with Lucky sitting beside her tongue hanging out and tail wagging.</p>
<p>The woman's hair was dark and short, a wavy mess that brushed her shoulders, and she had on a black leather jacket with jeans and boots. She had something on her hands. Fingerless gloves? Kate squinted, trying to pick up on more detail, but the woman started moving. She began to cross the street to the clinic.</p>
<p>"Come on, Lucky." Kate whispered and hurried after her. It was hard to be sneaky on a mostly empty street in the middle of the afternoon, but she did her best. Which granted wasn't great, but the woman didn't notice her so it was fine.</p>
<p>Kate got to the front door and stepped in.</p>
<p>"Who the <em>hell</em> are you and <em>why</em> did you follow me in here?"</p>
<p>She glanced to her left to see the woman holding an odd-looking gun to her head. Most guns didn't glow blue at the handle. Kate frowned at the turn of events. What was that other rule Clint told her? Oh, right. Check the doors before busting in.</p>
<p>"How do you know I followed you in here? Maybe I just need a doctor?" Kate replied.</p>
<p>The woman raised an eyebrow at her, "If that were the case, I think you'd be a little more surprised by the gun to your head."</p>
<p>"That's a…<em>fair </em>point." Kate mumbled. "Here's my <em>counter</em> point—"</p>
<p>Kate swung out to knock the gun to the side. The woman fired, but it blew past her. Kate disarmed her entirely, tossing the weapon aside, then lunged forward with her knee to shove her into the wall. The woman hit the wall hard but grabbed Kate by the arms to flip her to the side. Lucky barked out as Kate slid across the floor, "<em>Lucky, hide</em>!"</p>
<p>The dog ran off, a trick Clint taught him ages ago, and Kate slung her bow off quick as a whip with a notched arrow. The woman stood across from her with a hand raised at her threateningly. Kate nodded at her, "You know there's nothing in your hand, right?"</p>
<p>She smirked and suddenly an invisible force slammed into Kate's chest and knocked her back. On her way to the floor, she fired the arrow she had notched. Her aim was true and when it got close the tip blew up like a flash bang. The woman cried out, and Kate rolled back after hitting the floor to land on her feet. She sprinted forward again to swing the bow like a staff.</p>
<p>The woman was quick to recover and ducked under it. They parried back and forth for a moment blocking blows and trying to gain the upper hand. Kate kicked out only for her foot to be caught and spun hard. With a grunt, she hit the floor face first. Kate shoved herself back to her feet just to whip around and come face to face with the barrel of the gun again.</p>
<p>"<em>Shit</em>." Kate sighed. "Clint's gonna be pissed."</p>
<p>"<em>Clint</em>?" The woman lowered her gun, "Clint sent you? <em>Clint Barton</em>?"</p>
<p>Kate nodded, "Yeah, about yay-high", she held her hand above her head, "Absolute disaster blond. Do you know him?"</p>
<p>"I'm an Agent for SHIELD." She snapped.</p>
<p>Kate's eyes widened and she let out a low whistle, "Oh. Well then."</p>
<p>On the floor above them there was a loud crash. The woman sprinted up the stairs to her right and Kate was quick to follow. She let out a loud whistle and Lucky showed up on her tail. As they got to the floor and searched through rooms Kate began to wonder why this clinic was so empty.</p>
<p>The woman kicked open the last door and her shoulders slumped. Kate peeked her head in behind her. A man sat behind a desk counting money. There was a stethoscope around his neck. The window at the wall behind him was open and led out onto a fire escape. He glanced up and in a heavy accent spoke, "You are the ones who chased my patient away? She left you a message."</p>
<p>He pointed to an exam table off to the side. Kate leaned against the doorway as the woman crossed the room to pick up said message. There were two maroon and gold bracelets on the bed, one looked like a watch of some kind, and a note beside it. From here she could see the writing, '<em>Go home, Daisy'</em>.</p>
<p>"Fuck." Daisy mumbled and shoved the bracelets into her leather jacket pocket. She turned to the man, "Where did they go?"</p>
<p>He just shrugged and went back to counting money. Daisy's jaw clenched and Kate chose this time to raise her hand. Dark eyes darted to her in exasperation. Kate just grinned sheepishly in response, "Hey, yeah, Daisy, right? I'm Kate. Kate Bishop. Hawkeye to some. <em>Sort of.</em> Listen—" She walked forward with hands held up in mock surrender, "My bad for what happened downstairs. Clint sent me to find his friend."</p>
<p>"Aj. Her name is Aj Bradshaw." Daisy replied. "And she's just being <em>overly</em> stubborn at this point."</p>
<p>"Well, you want an extra set of eyes on this search and rescue mission?" Kate offered with a smirk. "This is my first time out of a farmhouse in four months and I am <em>not</em> coming home empty handed. Clint will kill me."</p>
<p>Daisy nodded, "Yeah, and he'll kill me if I don't find her."</p>
<p>"Yay! Teamwork, eh?" Kate gave her a thumbs up. "Now let's go, what was your plan B? Because to be honest I really don't have one."</p>
<p>Daisy gave her a skeptical look, but Kate just grinned. This was the start of a beautiful friendship. She just knew it.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Pietro had made a number of bad deals in his life. In the third grade, he made a deal with another boy to trade his toy cars for a yo-yo only for the string to break ten minutes later. When he was ten, he made a deal with his father that if he ate all his vegetables they would go out to play catch, and then he watched his father fall through a hole in the floor and disappear forever. The deal he made with Strucker had given him speed, but it cost him his freedom.</p>
<p>The deal with Ultron?</p>
<p>It had been a <em>bad</em> deal.</p>
<p>Wanda sat beside him, slumped over in distress, and he could only offer her comfort with a hand rubbing circles on her back. They had come to South Korea with Ultron to help him find the doctor that could build him a body. It had all come to a screeching halt when his sister was finally able to read the robot's mind through the new body being created.</p>
<p>She had shown him what she saw in Ultron's mind. Fire and brimstone. Death and destruction. The world turning to ash. This was <em>not</em> what they wanted. This was nowhere close to what they wanted. The Maximof twins craved revenge, but they would not burn the world to take it. The images had sent him staggering, but it was nothing compared to what Wanda felt. The visions, people's internal desires and fears, were always more potent to her.</p>
<p>The powers she gained still gave her headaches. The sensory overload of absorbing emotions and thoughts from everyone around her was draining. Wanda always described it as the world swirling around her in a red storm that she had to pick thoughts from. It was funny, because his powers did the opposite for him. Pietro's world had slowed significantly. He knew he was a blur to the world around him, but when he ran it felt like time around him had nearly stopped.</p>
<p>"<em>What have I done</em>?" Wanda murmured in Sokovian.</p>
<p>Pietro pulled his sister to stand and shook his head firmly, "<em>You were not alone in this. Ultron tricked us both.</em>"</p>
<p>"<em>I put Tony Stark on this path</em>." Wanda replied. "<em>And now between him and Ultron the world will go through the same fate as our family. Dead or wishing they were</em>."</p>
<p>He pulled her into a tight hug, "<em>That won't happen. I won't let it</em>."</p>
<p>Wanda suddenly stiffened in his arms. She mumbled something he didn't catch then pushed away on the search for something. Pietro followed, a step behind, until she came to a screeching stop. Pietro followed her gaze to a television where a Korean news anchor spoke. The screen flashed to a traffic camera that showed Ultron and Captain America fighting on top of the truck the Cradle had been put into.</p>
<p>Pietro knew what they needed to do. He turned to Wanda only to see her already staring at him. His unspoken question was answered when his sister's eyes flashed red. Pietro leaned forward to pick his sister up and she instinctively held his neck and tucked her head into his shoulder to keep from getting sick.</p>
<p>They had a robot to catch up to.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve was having a bad day. Then again, the last two days had been pretty shitty too. At this rate, he was going to be able to chalk it up to a bad week. Unless something really, really good happened really, really fast. Steve wasn't holding his breath.</p>
<p>Ultron swung his arm out and Steve ducked under it and swiveled in time to catch the next punch thrown at him. With a grunt, he swung and threw Ultron as hard as he could off the top of the van. The homicidal AI slammed into a concrete pillar making it explode in pieces of rubble and dust. It gave Steve the time to take one exhausted breath. Ultron activated his rockets and blasted forward. Steve mumbled a curse and crouched to catch the robot. The force of Ultron slammed into him, sending him flying backwards, but Steve managed to get his arms on Ultron's shoulders so he could twist their bodies around. The two of them crashed through the doors of a passing train with Steve on top.</p>
<p>"<em>They're heading back towards you</em>." Clint's voice called over the comm line as he kept the quinjet in the air around them. The drones that had been attacking him apparently lost interest. "<em>So, whatever you're gonna do, you better do it fast, Tasha</em>."</p>
<p>With a roar, Ultron threw Steve off. He felt his back slam into a silver pole, bending it in half, as Ultron rose to his feet and sent him a glare. Ultron scoffed and motioned as if he was brushing rubble off himself, "You don't seem to learn, do you Captain? This <em>isn't</em> a fight you can win!"</p>
<p>Steve got back to his feet, passengers were screaming behind him in panic, and he stepped forward, "We'll see."</p>
<p>He slammed his foot down onto his shield, flipping it up to him, then threw it forward with all his strength. Ultron batted it out of the air like a frisbee and sent it right back to him. Steve caught it just as Ultron rocketed forward and he threw himself forward to flip over the robot and land on his feet. Steve spun on his heel to face Ultron again just in time for red lasers to hit him in the shield and throw him backwards into a row of seats.</p>
<p>"<em>I'm going in</em>." Natasha called over comms. She was supposed to still be on the truck's tail on mission to get to the cradle. "<em>Rogers, can you keep him occupied</em>?"</p>
<p>Steve caught his breath, still leaning against the seats he was thrown in, then grunted, "What the <em>hell</em> do you think I've been doing?"</p>
<p>"<em>Someone sounds grumpy. Did you miss afternoon nap time</em>?" Clint called out. Steve ignored the archer and shoved himself up. Ultron was trying to leave the train car so Steve tackled him in the side sending them both to the ground. Ultron threw him off, but Steve was up again and trying to get his shield jammed somewhere in the robot's frame. Clint spoke up again, "<em>Uh, the package is airborne? Was it supposed to do that?</em>" Ultron punched him to the ground. "<em>Well, I got a clean shot</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Negative. I am still in the truck</em>!" Natasha shot back. Steve got up, grabbed Ultron by the shoulders and slammed him into the opposite wall of the train car.</p>
<p>Clint scoffed, "<em>What the fuck are you</em>—"</p>
<p>"<em>Just be ready! I'm sending the package to you</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Alright. How do you want me to take it</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>Uh, you might wish you hadn't asked that</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Regret it already</em>."</p>
<p>Ultron kicked Steve in the gut, making him crash into the train wall near where they had fallen through initially. He grunted in pain then immediately ducked when Ultron went to punch his head clean off. A shower of sparks from the wall behind him filled the air between them. Ultron followed it up with a right hook, but Steve lifted his shield in time to take the force of the blow. He blocked one more hook, but it gave Ultron an opening to uppercut him in the ribcage. Steve cried out in pain and braced for the follow-up blow, but Ultron was suddenly thrown off of him and down the aisle a bit. Steve stumbled back in surprise and his eyes landed on Pietro Maximof who stood at the end of the train car in a slight crouch.</p>
<p>Ultron stood up quickly, took a step forward, but the railings at the top of the train bent down, glowing red, and blocked the robot from approaching Pietro. Steve sat up from where he had stumbled and spotted Wanda at the end of the train car behind him.</p>
<p>"Please don't do this." Ultron pleaded. He actually looked distressed at how this had turned out.</p>
<p>Wanda spoke up, "What choice do we have?"</p>
<p>Ultron turned and raised a hand. Steve yelled out a warning, but Pietro was already ducking out of the way. Red lasers shot from Ultron's fingers and blew a hole straight through the door, into the front controller's booth, and out the front windshield. Ultron didn't wait around to see his work complete. He kicked down another set of train doors and flew out.</p>
<p>"Shit." Steve grabbed his shield and leaped over the barrier Wanda had created. He needed to get to the front. "I lost him! He's headed your way!"</p>
<p>"<em>Tash, we gotta go</em>!" Clint warned in Steve's ear. Steve glanced down at the sparking train controls and checked for a pulse on the conductor who was passed out on the floor. His eyes darted up to see the end of the tracks approaching quickly. Right behind the end barrier, was a street market that was crowded with people. "<em>Natasha</em>!"</p>
<p>Steve grabbed the wall just as the train slammed into the final barrier. The momentum carried it forward through wooden pallets, an empty booth, and some trash. The concrete below did nothing to slow the spinning wheels.</p>
<p>"<em>Steve, do you see Natasha</em>!?"</p>
<p>He tried to look out the front, up at the sky, but he could see nothing through the smoke pillowing from the train's engine. Steve yelled, "If you have the package, get it to Stark! <em>Go</em>!"</p>
<p>"<em>Do you have eyes on Natasha!</em>?" Clint yelled back.</p>
<p>"Clint, go!" Steve barked out the order.</p>
<p>Steve turned to meet the gazes of the twins who stared at him in shock. He hurried toward them and pointed behind himself, "There are civilians in our path. Can you—" Pietro nodded once and in a blur he was gone. Steve focused his attention on Wanda, "Can you stop this thing?"</p>
<p>Wanda blinked at him, panic evident on her features, but it slowly morphed into a firm determination. Her gray eyes beginning to glow red. The young girl threw her hands to the side and he watched the red glow drift to the floor. The train lurched and Steve threw his arm out to catch a woman who nearly fell. He turned his body completely and lifted his shield to block the debris that was rocketing in through the broken front windshield.</p>
<p>Up ahead was a wall and his eyes widened.</p>
<p>"<em>Get down</em>!" He barked to the civilians beside him. Steve held his shield up just as the train went straight through the brick wall. Something heavy hit him dead on and it sent him flying back. Steve shakily got back to his feet and felt a breath of relief fall from his lips as he noticed the train slowing significantly. Another moment passed and they came to a complete stop in the middle of a busy street. He leaned against the wall to catch his breath and prayed that Pietro had managed to get civilians clear of the train.</p>
<p>Steve pushed himself up and stepped off the train. His eyes darted up, looking in the sky for something, but the clear skies put dread in his stomach. Clint didn't have Natasha on the quinjet, and she sure as hell wasn't with him. He clenched his jaw in frustration then whipped around to look for the twins.</p>
<p>They were off to the side. Pietro was bent over, leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath while his sister held him up and spoke softly. The boy stumbled back and dropped to sit on a bike rack with a shake of his head, "I'm fine. Just need a minute."</p>
<p>"I'm tempted not to give you one." Steve called out. Both twins stiffened at his voice. Wanda took a step to stand in front of her brother who was still struggling to catch his breath. The kid had pushed his powers to the extreme it seemed.</p>
<p>Wanda held a hand out, a warning not to come closer, "The cradle. Did you get it?"</p>
<p>Steve slid his shield onto his back and held his own hands out as a message that he meant no harm. Wanda relaxed a bit and allowed him to step closer. Steve nodded his head to the girl, "Stark will take care of it."</p>
<p>Wanda's eyes widened, and he watched a flash of red circle her iris, "No, he won't."</p>
<p>Steve glanced over at Pietro who looked at him with the same alarm as his sister. He glanced back at Wanda, "You don't know what you're talking about. Stark's a good man."</p>
<p>"He will do <em>anything</em> to make things right!" Wanda argued. She wasn't wrong about that. Tony was the kind of guy to go to extreme measures to right a wrong. Steve knew that. He stepped away and tried to hail someone on the comm line. He got no response from anyone though. Worry began to bubble up in Steve's gut. Tony's words from two days ago rang out in his mind, <em>'I have to keep trying. It's who I am. I can see a better future, for us, for the world, and I'm not going to stop trying to build it</em>.'</p>
<p>Steve sighed, "Shit."</p>
<p>"Ultron can't tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it. Where do you think he gets that?" Wanda questioned.</p>
<p>Steve looked back at her at the statement, firm in his resolve, "You don't know Tony Stark."</p>
<p>"We know all we need to know about Stark." Pietro finally stood up.</p>
<p>Steve glanced from one twin to the other. They were kids. The file said they'd turn 18 later on this year. Kids shouldn't have to be dealing with the kind of bullshit he had to deal with. Steve thought by dealing with all this it would keep it out of the hands of people like Wanda and Pietro, but that's not what fate had in store for them. They had been dealt a bad hand, a fucked-up hand, and both kids were just trying to do the best they could with it.</p>
<p>"I know what happened to you. To your parents." Steve said slowly. "And I know you blame Tony. Hell, I know that <em>Tony</em> blames Tony. But the world is bigger than you think, and it's filled with <em>terrible</em> people. People who actually <em>deserve</em> that kind of blame." Steve shook his head at them. "Stark's name may have been on the weapon, but he didn't pull that trigger."</p>
<p>The twins glanced at one another, but they didn't say anything back to him. Steve sighed again and tried to get his head on straight. Ultron was still out there. The Cradle was on its way to Stark. Natasha was MIA.</p>
<p>Steve motioned for the twins to follow him, "Come on. You're riding with me."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>We spent the rest of the day driving around and staying on the run. Bucky didn't feel comfortable staying in one place, but I was okay with that. Staying on the road, driving around Bucharest, wasn't so bad because it calmed Bucky down. It broke down that wall he seemed to have built over night and we were laughing again at small jokes and talking like old friends.</p>
<p>In fact, I was really starting to relax and enjoy this odd moment on the run until I spotted a familiar sign on the side of highway. I couldn't read Romanian, but luckily, they put pictures of a plane on signs for idiots like me.</p>
<p>"Bucky." I said and glanced over to see his face had become solemn as he stared ahead at the road. The sun had already set so I only saw his features every few seconds with the passing of a streetlight. "<em>Don't</em>."</p>
<p>He shook his head, still looking only ahead, "You knew this had to happen."</p>
<p>"Not like this." I replied. "<em>Not yet</em>. I haven't…"</p>
<p>I haven't figured out how to take you home with me.</p>
<p>There was still too much I needed to convince him of, and I didn't have any idea where to start. What was the magic sentence I could say that would get him on the plane with me? Was there any way I could knock him out and drag him on with me as carry on? I spent the next ten minutes trying to think of something, but even when he parked our stolen car in a large lot I had nothing.</p>
<p>"Aj…" Bucky said.</p>
<p>The car was parked at the edge of lot, far from a light, so the only thing we had to light our faces were from the car's dashboard. Bucky's face was blank, but there was that old sadness in his eyes. Staring at him from this angle, it reminded me again of being in the bunker. The first time I ever saw him, seeing that deep sadness that seemed to radiate from him. All I wanted was to chase that sadness away.</p>
<p>"You have to go home."</p>
<p>"<em>We</em> have to go home."</p>
<p>"Aj, no."</p>
<p>I turned in my seat to face him head on, and I pleaded with him, "Come with me."</p>
<p>"I can't."</p>
<p>"Yes, you can!"</p>
<p>"Aj—"</p>
<p>"<em>Listen to me</em>." I held out my right hand to touch his chest. He stiffened but I ignored it. "I get it, okay? You think you're some monster undeserving of love, but you're <em>wrong</em>. You think you aren't worth the effort, but you're <em>wrong</em>. You think Steve could never forgive you, but you're <em>wrong</em>!" I sucked in a sharp breath and shook my head. "Bucky, it took me ages to figure it out but—but—I learned that you <em>can't</em> heal alone. That's what the Avengers gave me. They gave me the environment I needed to heal. Support and love and understanding. That's what you need, that's what we want to give you!"</p>
<p>Bucky clenched his jaw once then climbed out of the car. I turned to sit back on the seat, facing forward, and watched Bucky walk around the hood of the car. I was half tempted to lock the car door, but I knew it wouldn't keep him out for very long and it'd be nice to not look like a petulant child as I tried to argue for him to come home with me.</p>
<p>He pulled the door open and leaned against the frame. I looked up at him, and Bucky offered me a small smirk, "Are you gonna make me carry you out of the car, doll?"</p>
<p>"If you promise to get on the plane with me then I promise to actually walk." Maybe I could be a <em>little</em> bit of a petulant child.</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled and leaned back then offered me his hand. I took it and let him pull me up and out of the car. He kept hold of my hand and pulled my bag over his own shoulder. As we walked across the parking lot I kept trying to find the right set of words to say.</p>
<p>"You <em>need</em> people, Bucky." I said, squeezing his hand once. "You won't be able to heal if you just keep wandering the European countryside all alone."</p>
<p>Bucky didn't even act like he had heard me. We got into the crowd right outside the main doors of the airport. It was well lit here, but his face was still just as blank. He dragged me into the building and didn't seem to be bothered at all by my unhurried feet.</p>
<p>With a huff, I dug my heels into the ground and he finally stopped. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to use such a low blow, but I was getting desperate. Bucky raised an eyebrow at me, and I nodded, "Steve wants you to come home. More than <em>anything</em>. You being out here alone with HYDRA on your back is <em>killing</em> him."</p>
<p>Bucky's face flinched like I had physically hit him, and it made me wanna throw myself off a building for doing it to him. He nodded once, "I know. <em>I know</em>." God, I hated myself. I opened my mouth to argue, but he stepped closer and continued, "But the last time I saw him, I tried to <em>kill</em> him. <em>I nearly did</em>. Aj, I shot him. <em>Twice</em>. The second time was in his back right through his gut."</p>
<p>"That wasn't you. <em>You</em> didn't shoot him. That was the soldier." I shook my head. Steve had told me this story more than once. It was a late night/early morning conversation topic after our Netflix binge and goofing off. "<em>Bucky Barnes saved his life</em>. <em>You</em> pulled him out of that river."</p>
<p>Bucky let out a sad chuckle, "Doll, that's a <em>nuance</em>. He was in that river <em>because of me</em>."</p>
<p>"Buck—"</p>
<p>"Let's go." Bucky continued to pull me across the crowded lobby until the ticket desks were in sight. Before he could drag me into the line, I yanked my hand out of his. Bucky sighed and turned around to look at me, "<em>Please</em>."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "What's your plan here? Have me buy a ticket and then leave me in the airport alone?" Another low blow. "What if someone comes for me? Vincent?"</p>
<p>Bucky shook his head, "Did you see the car that followed us here?"</p>
<p>"W—What?" I narrowed my eyes. "What are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"Your friend." Bucky responded. "The one from the clinic. Her and some other girl were following us in a silver honda. I let them."</p>
<p>My eyes widened in shock, "Why would you—?!"</p>
<p>Bucky shrugged, "Like you said. I can't have you here alone, but I can't come with you."</p>
<p>Now, I was just angry. The frustration and desperation had boiled down to my default emotion. I shoved his chest with my right hand, "<em>Why</em>? Bucky, why? <em>Why</em> are you being so <em>stubborn</em> about this? Why can't you let me help you?"</p>
<p>"I don't—"</p>
<p>"Don't deserve it?" I scoffed. My lower lip quivered, and I bit down on it hard to try and reign in my emotions. "You said you wouldn't leave me alone, and here you are trying to do it <em>again</em>."</p>
<p>Pain flashed in Bucky's eyes again and guilt settled in my gut. He shook his head slowly, "That's not fair, doll."</p>
<p>I crossed my right arm over the arm in a sling in a poor attempt to try and bring myself comfort. I couldn't hug my chest properly though. Not without making my shoulder ache. Bucky still looked hurt and I hated that I caused it. I shook my head, "Just… Give me a <em>real</em> reason, Bucky. I don't wanna hear that you think you don't deserve it. You're a good man who deserves the chance to heal, and <em>every</em> Avenger wants that for you."</p>
<p>"You're wrong." Bucky said softly. "Stark doesn't want me there."</p>
<p>I blinked in confusion, "<em>Tony</em>? You're wrong. Tony is—is—he's <em>amazing</em>. He's the kind of guy who do <em>anything</em> for the people he loves. Just because you're friends with Steve I know he'll do everything and anything to help you, Bucky. Tony is—"</p>
<p>"You don't understand. I <em>can't</em> be around him."</p>
<p>"Do you not like him?" I asked. It never felt that way when Tony came up in conversation, but then again we didn't talk about him often. Bucky always seemed to avoid asking about that Avenger. I shook my head, "Why? He isn't what the media portrays him as, I promise. I know he gets a bad rap, but—"</p>
<p>Bucky nodded, "I know."</p>
<p>"Then <em>what is it</em>? I don't understand—"</p>
<p>Bucky suddenly reached out and grabbed the sides of my arms. He squeezed lightly with a look of guilt-stricken horror in his eyes. Bucky spoke so quietly I almost didn't catch it, "I <em>killed</em> his parents, Aj." It felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. Hell, out of the damn room. I misheard him. That wasn't right. "Howard and Maria Stark. <em>I killed them</em>."</p>
<p>"No." I shook my head, "<em>No</em>. Tony's parents died in a <em>car crash</em>. He told me about it when I was—was mourning <em>my</em> mom, I— It was an accident. A car crash, Bucky." The man in front of me just shook his head and a cold, dawning realization settled in me. Oh my God. Oh my God. "<em>The Winter Soldie</em>r…"</p>
<p>"HYDRA sent me to kill them. To frame it as a car crash. <em>I killed his parents</em>." Bucky repeated. "That's one of the <em>many</em> reasons why I can't go back to New York. How can I face Howard's son <em>knowing</em> what I did? He'd shoot me on sight, and I <em>would deserve it</em>."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Bucky, <em>no</em>—"</p>
<p>"Some people aren't meant to heal, Aj. I think some people are <em>supposed</em> to suffer. It's the price to pay, and I have a never ending debt to pay." I wanted to argue otherwise, but my brain was still reeling. Tony didn't know what really happened to his parents. To his mother. <em>Oh, God</em>. I felt like I was going to be sick. Bucky's hands pulled away from me. He took a step back. "You're going to go back home. I'm not going with you. And… And I don't think we should keep in touch with one another."</p>
<p>Another solid blow that had me spiraling.</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?"</p>
<p>"Talking over the phone like we do. It isn't good for you—for either of us." Bucky said firmly. "I got rid of the phone. You need to live your life separate from me."</p>
<p>Desperate, I stepped forward and cupped his face with both my hands. Sling be damned. I could feel the burn in my shoulder, but I didn't care. I just cupped his face like I had done last night. Bucky refused to meet my eye line though. I held on tight. As if he would slip away if I didn't, "Don't do this. Bucky, I'm <em>sorry</em> for pushing, I just wanted to—I wanted to try and help you, but it was too much too fast and I'm sorry.<em> I'm sorry</em>." I was pleading now. Losing this last connection to him didn't just mean I was losing a friend. It meant I was losing Steve's family. He'd slip away in the wind and God knows what would happen to him before Steve found him again. If he ever did. "<em>Please</em>. I am so sorry, Bucky."</p>
<p>"You don't have anything to be sorry for." He smiled but still refused to look me in the eyes. I babbled more pathetic apologies and pleaded more and more, but it did nothing. Finally, he lifted his gaze to look me straight in the eyes. All I saw was resolution. Determination. I saw an unspoken good-bye. "Aj?"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Bucky, don't do this."</p>
<p>"I know I don't deserve to ask, but can you promise me something?" Bucky asked softly. He paused, his eyes tracing all around my face before coming back to my eyes. He gave me a sad smile, "Promise me you'll keep yourself safe."</p>
<p>I swallowed hard and bobbed my head up and down once. Bucky's smile grew, but I just felt sick. He set his hands on top of mine. Bucky turned his head to press a kiss to my right palm, his lips hesitating there for just a second, then he pulled my hands away from his face. I shook my head, calling out to him again, but he just carefully tucked my left arm back into the sling and set my bookbag down by my feet.</p>
<p>"Stay safe, doll."</p>
<p>He walked past me, and I felt frozen. How had I fucked this up so badly? Panic slammed into me and I whipped around to try and find him. This isn't how this would end. I wouldn't let it. Bucky wasn't in sight though. Quickly, I threw the bookbag over my right shoulder and went searching. People glanced at me, shooting me worried gazes, and it was probably because I looked like a mad woman.</p>
<p>A hand gripped my right wrist, spinning me around, and a part of me hoped it was Bucky coming back because he regretted the good-bye. Instead, I came face to face with an unfamiliar face. Her black hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and her brown eyes were wide and excited. She had a bandage on her jawline and a bow and arrow hanging from her shoulder. Beside her sat a happy-go-lucky golden retriever.</p>
<p>"<em>Wow</em>! You look <em>just</em> like you do on Instagram, you know?" She chirped with a grin. "I figured it was just filters, but you're a <em>babe</em>!"</p>
<p>I couldn't even bring myself to snatch my hand away or slip into attack mode. I just stared in disbelief. The disbelief turned to relief when a familiar face popped around her shoulder. It was Daisy. She looked tired and she had a black eye from where I elbowed her in the nose.</p>
<p>"If you run again, I swear to God I'm using my powers on you." Daisy threatened.</p>
<p>"What…What are you doing here?"</p>
<p>The stranger shrugged and let go of me, "Looking for you, duh."</p>
<p>"<em>Who are you</em>?" I furrowed my eyebrows at her.</p>
<p>"Oh!" She chuckled. "My bad, my name is Kate. Kate Bishop. I'm Hawkeye."</p>
<p>Suddenly, the bandage on the jaw, chipper attitude, and the bow slung over her shoulder made a lot more sense. I shook my head, "Oh my God, there's two of you."</p>
<p>"You know, that's what Mr. Stark said, but I don't see it?" Kate crossed her arms. "I mean, that <em>can't</em> be a compliment. Clint's a walking trash fire."</p>
<p>Daisy held her hand up with a frown, "I'm here with Mac and Fitzsimmons going after Vincent Morgan. Clint sent Kate to get you when I wasn't doing it fast enough."</p>
<p>"Clint sent you?!" My eyes snapped back to Kate. "He knows I'm here?"</p>
<p>Daisy sighed, "Yeah, he called me asking if you were in Romania and I couldn't exactly lie to him." I opened my mouth, but she seemed to catch my question before I needed to voice it. "I don't think the other Avengers know you're out here. I'd be getting a lot more phone calls if they did."</p>
<p>Kate clapped her hands once, "So, we heading out now or are you gonna make us wrestle you in a very public airport? I'm cool with either, not gonna lie. This is the most excitement Lucky and I have had in four months."</p>
<p>At his name, the dog perked up and glanced at his owner. I took a second to look around the airport again. The crowds were still milling about, at their own leisure and business, but Bucky was nowhere in sight. I knew I had no chance at finding the man unless he chose to let me. The burner phone sitting in my bookbag felt like a useless paperweight.</p>
<p>"Aj?" I whipped back around to see Daisy shooting me a look of worry. She repeated herself, "I asked if you were ok?"</p>
<p>Her eyes darted to my arm. I nodded once, "Got hit in the shoulder. It's fine now."</p>
<p>"And…<em>Bucky</em>?" Daisy added. My eyes widened in alarm and she reached out to set a hand on my non-wounded shoulder, "I did some research into who you might be with. Where did he go?"</p>
<p>"He left." I replied quietly.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry." Daisy offered. She knew he was important to me. It was something we had talked about through text messages once ages ago. "Is he okay?"</p>
<p>I gave her a tight smile, "I don't know."</p>
<p>Daisy, sensing my slowly crumbling resolve, stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. I wrapped my right arm around her and melted into it. They weren't the arms I wanted, but comfort was comfort.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I hit you in the face." I mumbled.</p>
<p>Daisy pulled away with a smirk, "I forgive you, but do it again and I'm not holding back." She reached into her leather jacket's pocket and pulled out my bracelets. I chuckled and took them from her just as her phone began to ring. Daisy pulled that out next and gave me a sheepish look, "Uh, it's Clint. Do you wanna talk to him or…?"</p>
<p>"I think I'll push off our reunion a little longer." I replied. She nodded once and stepped away to answer the call. I struggled to try and get my bracelets on and Kate was kind enough to step forward and help me out. I shot her a curious glance, "So how do you know Clint?"</p>
<p>Kate shrugged, "He saved me from a tight spot. My life was kind of in shambles at that point anyways, so I decided to get into the saving people business. Long story short we then took out the guy who kind of ruined my life and I got stuck in a safe house."</p>
<p>"He adopted you then?" I asked with a chuckle.</p>
<p>"That's one way to phrase it."</p>
<p>I resisted the urge to make a '<em>sisters'</em> joke. She must have been in the safe house the Avengers went to after the shitshow with Ultron. Lucky leaned forward to lick my right hand which was resting at my side. I gave the cutie a small smile and began to scratch his head.</p>
<p>Daisy came back a moment with a look of worry on her features. My eyebrows furrowed and she hesitated before speaking, "Okay, so, I told Clint we got you. He was relieved. But…"</p>
<p>"But what, Daisy?" I pressed, my hand going still in Lucky's fur.</p>
<p>"Ultron has Natasha." Daisy replied and I felt my blood run cold. "She's okay, she got a message out to Clint. Apparently, he took her to Sokovia. That's where the final fight is gonna be it looks like."</p>
<p>Ultron had Natasha. The final fight was coming. I had never hyperventilated before but it sure as hell felt like I was about to start. Daisy grabbed my hand and tried to drag me away, but I snatched my hand away, "No."</p>
<p>"Aj—"</p>
<p>"You <em>have</em> to help them." I shook my head. "Where are they now?"</p>
<p>"Clint called me from the quinjet. They're on their way to Sokovia now."</p>
<p>I nodded once, "You and Kate have to go to Sokovia. They're gonna need all the help they can get. Take Mac and Fitzsimmons too and call Coulson and the others."</p>
<p>"Aj, my mission is to <em>get you home</em>. Between Kate and I we only have one working quinjet here." Daisy replied firmly. "And I sure as hell can't take you to Sokovia with us. The Avengers would stop fighting Ultron just to kill me."</p>
<p>I pointed behind me, "I'm at the airport. I'll take a flight home like planned." Daisy looked like she wanted to argue further but I shot her a look. "Daisy, you <em>know</em> I'm right. Ultron isn't going to stop until he destroys <em>everything</em>. Babysitting me is a waste of time."</p>
<p>There was a tense moment where Daisy and I just stared off at one another while Kate let her own eyes dart between us. Finally, she caved. Daisy sighed and stepped forward to put her hands on both my arms. I tried not to think about the fact that Bucky just said good-bye to me in a similar fashion. She shook her head, "Aj, <em>please</em>. Get on a plane and <em>go home</em>. No funny business. I'm calling someone to meet you at the airport in New York. Okay?"</p>
<p>"No funny business." I nodded in agreement. Every part of me wanted to run and stay in Romania. I wasn't leaving this country without Bucky, but… I couldn't do that to the others. They were about to go into a huge fight and the last thing I needed was any of them distracted by me doing something stupid. As much as I wanted Bucky, I also wanted to be home to greet them when they got back.</p>
<p>If they got back.</p>
<p><em>If</em> I got them back.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Bruce let his eyes gaze over the Cradle again. It sat in the center of the lab. The same place where only two days ago they all fought over the creation of Ultron in the first place. There was something about these past three days that felt like both the shortest and longest of his life. His eyes lifted to Clint who sat quietly in the corner and deep in thought. Clint had come back and he had come back without Natasha.</p>
<p>The doors slid open and Bruce glanced back to see Tony come in. He stepped away from the cradle, "Any news on Nat?"</p>
<p>"Not yet." Tony shook his head. "She's not with Steve, but if Ultron has her she's gotta be alive. He'd be rubbing our faces in it if she wasn't."</p>
<p>Bruce nodded in disappointment and motioned back to the cradle, "It's sealed tight. We'll have to access the program and open it from the inside."</p>
<p>Tony crossed the room to stand beside Clint. He clapped his hand on the archer's shoulder, "You alright, Barton?"</p>
<p>"I asked Steve if he had eyes on her and he told me to go." Clint replied in a dangerous tone. Hawkeye was angry, that was clear, but more so he was scared. Bruce could see it from all the way over here. There was a tension in his frame that he didn't see often. Bruce knew he was worried about Natasha, but he also wondered if there was something else bothering him.</p>
<p>"Hey, come on, man. <em>Think</em>. Past is past." Tony said firmly. "Any chance Nat would leave you a message? Outside the internet? I know the two of you have a billion different ways of getting in touch with one another."</p>
<p>Clint swallowed hard then stood, "Yeah. Yeah, there is. I'll find her." Clint turned to leave the room, "<em>I'll find her</em>."</p>
<p>Bruce sighed and activated the program on the screen in front of him. He went back to the cradle to key in a code, "I can work on tissue degeneration if you could fry whatever operational system Cho implanted."</p>
<p>"Yeah, about that."</p>
<p>Bruce's head snapped up at the familiar tone that Tony used. The man stood at the end of the cradle with a hand scratching the back of his neck. His brown eyes stared at him, unblinking, and Tony raised one eyebrow. Bruce immediately stepped back from the cradle, "<em>No</em>."</p>
<p>"You have to trust me." Tony held a hand out.</p>
<p>"Kind of don't." Bruce held his own hands out and began to backpedal away.</p>
<p>"Our ally, the guy protecting the military's nuclear codes—" Tony began, and Bruce leaned onto the cradle's side in exasperation. "I found him."</p>
<p>Tony threw his hand out, and a golden light filled the room. Bruce looked up and his eyes widened at the sight of JARVIS. His program was no longer shattered into pieces and Bruce suddenly understood the grin Tony wore.</p>
<p>"<em>Hello, Dr. Banner</em>." JARVIS greeted.</p>
<p>"Ultron didn't go after JARVIS because he was angry. He attacked him because he was scared of what he can do." Tony said. He shrugged, "So JARVIS went underground. Scattered, dumped his memory. But <em>not</em>his protocols." Tony raised his eyebrows at that, and Bruce began to walk closer to where JARVIS was in interest. Tony pointed to the golden orb, "He didn't even know he was in there until I pieced him together."</p>
<p>Bruce scoffed and shook his head. Tony didn't need to explain any further. The doctor knew exactly what his friend wanted to do. Bruce readjusted his glasses before speaking, "So you want <em>me</em>—" He pointed to himself, "— to help <em>you</em>—" He pointed to Tony, "—put JARVIS into this thing?"</p>
<p>"No! Of course not!" Tony scoffed then pointed to him. "I wanna help <em>you</em> put JARVIS in this thing." Bruce threw his hands up then let them bury into his hair. Tony gave him a sheepish grin, "We're out of my field here. You know bio-organics better than anyone."</p>
<p>Bruce shook his head, "And you just assume that JARVIS's operational matrix can beat Ultron's?"</p>
<p>"JARVIS has been beating him from inside without knowing it." Tony argued defensively as he began to walk around the cradle. "This is the opportunity! We can create Ultron's perfect self <em>without</em> the homicidal glitches he thinks are his winning personality. We <em>have</em> to!"</p>
<p>"<em>I believe its worth a go."</em> JARVIS added.</p>
<p>Bruce opened his mouth, but only noiseless breaths came out. He finally let out a loud laugh and threw his hands up, "I'm in a loop! I'm caught in a time loop. This is where it all went wrong."</p>
<p>"I know, I know. I know what everyone's gonna say. But they're <em>already</em> saying it." Tony grabbed Bruce's shoulders. "We're mad scientists. We're monsters, buddy. We've gotta own it." Bruce let out a slow sigh as he weighed the pros and cons in his head. This was what he meant when he called these days the longest of his life. Tony shook his head once, "This isn't a loop, Bruce. It's the <em>end of the line</em>."</p>
<p>Bruce paused, mumbled a curse under his breath, and then the two went to work.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The moment the quinjet landed in the spare location, Steve was on the move. Both Wanda and Pietro tailed behind him. All of his messages to the Tower had been ignored or dismissed and that almost irritated him more than the idea of Tony going for Ultron 2.0.</p>
<p>As he got to the lab floor, he could hear Tony and Bruce talking. Steve picked up his pace until he got to the edge of the lab where he saw Tony working on a computer and Bruce working over the cradle which was plugged into various electronic towers and other machinery.</p>
<p>"<em>Stark</em>!" He barked.</p>
<p>Tony looked up casually, not halting in his typing, "Oh hey, Cap. I thought I told you I wasn't a fan of that tone of voice."</p>
<p>"And I thought I told you not to build another Ultron." Steve retaliated.</p>
<p>"This isn't another Ultron, and I told you I wasn't going to stop so…" Tony shrugged. He gave him a sheepish smile, "I also sent you a memo it's just in the mail. Give it 3-5 days."</p>
<p>Steve felt his anger bristle, "Tony, shut it the <em>hell</em> down."</p>
<p>"Nope." Tony replied and moved to work on another machine.</p>
<p>"You don't know what you're doing!"</p>
<p>Bruce stepped forward with narrowed eyes, "And you do?" Steve was surprised by the tone, but then he watched Bruce's eyes shift to the people behind him with a glare. "She's not in your head."</p>
<p>Wanda stepped out from behind him, "I know you're angry—"</p>
<p>"Oh, we're <em>way</em> past that." Bruce scoffed. He pointed the glasses in his hands toward her, "I could choke the life out of you and <em>never</em> change a shade."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "Ultron is—"</p>
<p>"Ultron is the end of us!" Tony yelled. "This is the answer, Steve. Don't you get it? This isn't a fight we win."</p>
<p>The words were so similar to what Ultron said to him on the train. It gave him pause, and for the first moment in a very long time, Steve felt doubt toward his friend's intentions. He hated it. He hated that his mind went there, but it couldn't be helped. Steve shook his head, "I'm not letting you do this, Tony."</p>
<p>"I'm not going to let you stop me, Steve!" Tony barked back.</p>
<p>A blur blew past him, flew around the room tossing up papers and trash, and then it stopped. Pietro stood by the end of the cradle holding a large power plus, and all the other plugs and machines were undone or off. He shrugged and tossed the cord in his hand aside, "No, no. Go on. Keep arguing, please."</p>
<p>The sound of one shot being fired filled the air and Steve watched Pietro fall through the glass with a surprised cry. Wanda called out for him and ran over to the broken glass he had gone through. Steve jogged forward just to check on the kid, and he spotted Pietro on the ground with annoyance on his features as Clint stood over him.</p>
<p>"What? Didn't see that coming?" Clint scoffed. He looked up and the moment their eyes met, the archer shot him a narrowed glare then turned and disappeared. Steve didn't have long to focus on that though. Alarms began to go off around the lab.</p>
<p>"I'm rerouting the upload."</p>
<p>"I said, stop!" Steve threw his shield and it bounced around the room sending sparks from the machines it hit. The shield came back to him just as Tony called for one of his gauntlets and then they stood off against one another. Steve's shield at the ready and Tony's gauntlet glowing in his direction.</p>
<p>It was disheartening.</p>
<p>Steve knew they were in for a lifetime of arguments but this was different. He didn't like facing off against Tony like this and, based on the look Tony wore, his friend didn't like it any better. At the same time though, neither one would lower their arms.</p>
<p>They didn't want to fight one another, but they refused to defer to the other.</p>
<p>It was an <em>unstoppable</em> <em>force</em> meeting an <em>immoveable object</em>.</p>
<p>Clint suddenly entered the room and stepped between the two of them. Tony lowered his arm and Steve lowered his shield. At first, he thought that was Clint's entire goal, to stop them from killing one another, but the archer didn't stop. He crossed the space and Steve's eyes narrowed in confusion for a second before Clint's fist slammed into his face.</p>
<p>Steve staggered back with eyes scrunched in pain and hand to his nose. Clint stepped toward him again, Steve opened his eyes preparing for more, but pointed at him instead, "I asked if you had eyes on Natasha." He growled the words out between clenched teeth. "<em>I asked if you had eyes on Natash</em>a and you should've <em>fucking</em> answered me, Rogers."</p>
<p>Guilt slammed into his chest. Steve couldn't even bring himself to be angry. Natasha was in the hands of Ultron, and if the roles had been reversed, if Steve had asked about Aj only to get a command to flee the scene… He'd be throwing punches too.</p>
<p>"I'm <em>sorry</em>, Clint." Steve said firmly. He could see the anger simmering from Clint's features. The punch had helped. Steve's eyes darted to Tony who was working again.</p>
<p>Wanda scoffed, "<em>Tony Stark</em>."</p>
<p>She threw out her hands and the red glow shot out to hit both Bruce and Tony. It threw both men onto their backs and Wanda's glowing red eyes glared down at the cradle. She slowly began to press her hands together and Steve watched as the cradle began to crumple. It was Bruce who was the first up, and surprisingly it was Bruce who sprinted across the short space to tackle the girl to the ground. Pietro was back on this floor quick and Steve saw the beginnings of another fight brewing.</p>
<p>It was all interrupted when rumbling thunder echoed in from outside and a familiar figure crashed through the glass wall and into the room. Steve narrowed his eyes in shock, "<em>Thor</em>!?"</p>
<p>Thor didn't hesitate or offer explanations. He leapt onto the cradle and held his hammer in the air to collect lightning. Pietro covered his sister as the bright, crackling flow of electricity was absorbed into the hammer. Thor swung Mjolnir down and sent all of the lightning straight into the cradle. Everyone in the room just watched in shock as the god of thunder worked. Steve couldn't tell which side of the argument Thor was currently working for. Was the lightning bringing life or ending it?</p>
<p>Silence filled the room when Thor stopped. Steve's question was answered when the cradle exploded outward throwing Thor straight into the ceiling then back onto the ground. Steve stared as a man crouched on the edge of the cradle surrounded by a cloud of smoke. His skin was a an odd red-purple with accents of silver following the lines of muscles he had. The figure slowly stood, looking around the room like a startled animal, and Steve's eyes darted between the blue of the man's eyes and the glowing yellow stone in the center of his forehead.</p>
<p>The man suddenly leapt forward at Thor and the god of thunder caught him briefly only to swing him around and through the lab's glass wall. The man went careening through the air only to come to a jarring stop by the penthouse's viewing window.</p>
<p>Everybody rushed out of the lab to get closer. Steve jumped from the window with his shield and landed on his toes ready to fight. Thor, who stood only a few feet ahead, threw his hand back signaling them to not approach.</p>
<p>The figure floated in the air for a moment, staring out the window, then it turned and drifted toward them. His skin changed to a dark, textured gray. It made him look like he had on a body suit of some kind. He landed beside Thor and slowly looked at everyone in the room, "I am sorry. That was odd." Steve felt his eyes widened in surprise as he listened to this man speak in JARVIS's voice. "Thank you."</p>
<p>The man shrugged and a golden cape descended down his back. Steve shook his head, "Thor? What's going on?"</p>
<p>"I had a vision." Thor replied. "A <em>whirlpool</em> that sucks in all hope of life and at its center—" He pointed to the glowing, yellow rock. "—is <em>that</em>."</p>
<p>Bruce stepped forward, "What, the gem?"</p>
<p>"It's the mind stone. One of the six Infinity Stones."</p>
<p>Tony crossed his arms, "Why does that sound like something you'd collect from various cereal boxes?"</p>
<p>"They're the most powerful forces in the universe. Unparalleled in their destructive capabilities."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, warily looking over the mysterious figure now wielding one of those unparalleled destructive forces, "Then why would you bring it to life?"</p>
<p>"Because Stark is right." Thor replied.</p>
<p>Everyone slowly glanced over at Tony who also looked equally as surprised at Thor's statements. Clint shook his head, "Oh God, the world really is ending."</p>
<p>"The Avengers can't defeat Ultron." Thor continued.</p>
<p>"Not alone." The man walked forward.</p>
<p>Steve didn't let his guard down, "Why does your vision sound like JARVIS?"</p>
<p>"We reconfigured JARVIS's matrix to create something new." Tony met the vision halfway and they both glanced at one another. He kept walking, turning to face Steve, but Tony just continued to stare.</p>
<p>The vision shook his head, "You think I'm a child of Ultron."</p>
<p>"You're not?" Steve questioned skeptically. He couldn't risk it all on this new guy. He needed to know for sure that the creature now wielding this infinity stone wasn't going to turn on them mid-battle.</p>
<p>"I am not Ultron. I am not JARVIS. I am… <em>I am</em>."</p>
<p>Tony and Bruce shared a skeptical look with one another. Wanda was the next to speak up, her hands were held at the ready, red light dancing between her finger tips, and her brother stood only a step behind her, "I looked in your head and saw <em>annihilation</em>."</p>
<p>"Look again."</p>
<p>Clint scoffed loudly, "Yeah, glowstick's seal of approval means jackshit to me."</p>
<p>"Their powers", Thor called attention back to him, "The horrors in our head, Ultron himself, they all came from the mind stone, and they're <em>nothing</em> compared to what can be unleashed. But with it on <em>our</em> side—"</p>
<p>Steve tilted his head, "Is it?" He focused his eyes on the vision. "Are you?"</p>
<p>"I don't think it's that simple." His face scrunched up in thought.</p>
<p>"It better get real simple, real soon." Clint snapped.</p>
<p>"I am on the side of life, Ultron isn't. He will end it all."</p>
<p>Tony crossed his arms again, "What's he waiting for?"</p>
<p>"<em>You</em>."</p>
<p>"Where?" Bruce pressed.</p>
<p>Clint turned to look at the twins, "Sokovia." The kids' eyes widened in alarm. "He's got Tasha there too. She's okay right now, but we need to get there <em>yesterday</em>."</p>
<p>Steve stepped forward so he was right in front of the odd man. He narrowed his eyes, "If you are a threat—if you are what Ultron designed you to be, I'll—"</p>
<p>"You'll what?" The man tilted his head curiously. There was a tense pause before he spoke again. "I do not want to kill Ultron, but his pain will decimate this Earth. He has to be destroyed, every trace of him, and we cannot do so without one another. All of us. Together."</p>
<p>Another tense moment of silence passed when the man reached over and scooped up Mjolnir without missing a beat. Steve's eyes widened as he casually handed it over to Thor, "We must leave as soon as possible."</p>
<p>Thor, mouth agape, took the hammer and nobody followed after the vision as he stepped out of the room. Thor tapped his hammer in his hands a few times then nodded, "Right then. To Sokovia?" He turned to leave and as he passed Tony he clapped him on the shoulder with a smile, "<em>Well done</em>."</p>
<p>Tony still looked startled by this turn of events and by the sudden approval of those around him. Steve sighed and motioned with his hand in a small circle, "Three minutes. Get what you need."</p>
<p>The group hurried to get ready and Steve pointed the twins to some of the lockers where he knew some extra gear would be. He readjusted his shield on his back and sat down on the bench in the locker room. Tony walked up to him and rested one foot on the bench beside him.</p>
<p>"Earlier was…<em>awkward</em>." Tony said. Steve chuckled at the understatement. A beat passed before Tony nodded, "I should, uh, say—"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head with a smirk, "I don't do chick flick moments, Tony."</p>
<p>Tony snorted at the familiar words and clapped his hand on his shoulder. A universal sign that the two of them were good. He pointed at him with his other hand, "That's a damnable lie, Rogers. We all know you live for that gooey emotional shit."</p>
<p>Bruce came over to join them and they began to quickly go over mission specs. After a moment of this Tony cut in, "No way we all get through this." It was the phrase Steve couldn't deny, but was too afraid to voice aloud. "If even one drone is left standing, we've lost. There's gonna be blood on the floor."</p>
<p>"I got no plans tomorrow night." Steve joked and prayed that it really was just a joke. In a perfect world, tomorrow night he'd be sitting on a couch in the new compound watching a new episode of the Walking Dead with Aj. He knew this wasn't a perfect world though.</p>
<p>"I get first crack at the big guy." Tony nodded. "Iron Man's the one he's waiting for."</p>
<p>"That's true." Thor's vision said in passing as he walked by them without missing a beat. "He hates you the most."</p>
<p>Tony blinked in disbelief then slowly turned his head to watch the vision walk into the quinjet casually. He shook his head, "I know it, but does it need to be said?"</p>
<p>Bruce slapped him on the back a few times, and they both boarded the quinjet as well. Steve watched Thor get on followed by Clint, and then the twins passed him. Pietro had changed into a new pair of sneakers and slipped on a new mesh shirt. Wanda had put on Natasha's red leather jacket. He stepped on behind them.</p>
<p>"Ultron knows we're coming." Steve said as Tony lifted them into the air. Clint handed the twins comm pieces to place in their ears. "Odds are we'll be riding into heavy fire, but that's what we signed up for. The people of Sokovia? They didn't." His eyes darted to the twins who both glanced down at their feet. "So, our priority is getting them to safety." Steve set his hands on his belt buckle, "We find out what Ultron's been building, we find Romanof, and we clear the field. Keep the fight between us. Ultron thinks we're monsters. That we're what's wrong with this world. This isn't just about beating him. It's about whether he's right."</p>
<p>The quinjet grew quiet as everyone settled down for the long flight ahead of them. It'd take most of the night and they'd get to Sokovia right before dawn. Steve glanced over at Tony who had pulled out his phone. The man tapped it against his hand then nodded to him, "I gotta call Pepper. Always do before…" He paused. "Maybe you should call Aj. She needs to get caught up to date on what's happening anyways."</p>
<p>Steve hadn't thought of that. A part of him didn't think he had the right to call her like that. A pre-mission, '<em>God I hope this isn't out last talk'</em> call. Once Tony had said it though, he couldn't shake the thought away. Steve took a seat towards the back of the quinjet away from the others. He pulled out his phone and hit her number. The dim background of his screen showed her caller ID picture. A picture he had taken of her when they went out to lunch once and she wasn't paying attention.</p>
<p>The phone rang a multitude of times before going to voicemail. For a second he considered hanging up, but something in him stopped him. Steve cleared his throat and took in a steady breath, "<em>Hey Aj…"</em></p>
<p> </p>
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<p>Daisy and Kate had stayed with me until I got a plane ticket then after wishing them luck they disappeared. That had been about half an hour ago and now I sat in coach in a daze. The last minute flight had only had coach tickets left, but I didn't give a damn. It didn't matter anyways. As I sat in my row alone, I felt the weight of the situation actually hit me.</p>
<p>I had lost Bucky. He was gone in the wind and there was no telling how long it would take for someone to find him again or what state he would be in once they did. The Avengers, my makeshift family, were on their way to fight a robot hell bent on their extinction. Natasha was already in the hands of the homicidal program and God knew what he had potentially done to her. My eyes drifted down to stare at the braided bracelets sitting right beside my watch on my left hand. Black and red. Navy and brown.</p>
<p>Regardless of what happened, at the end of this flight I would step off to learn the truth. Either they'd be victors, safe from harm, or I'd never see one of them again. I hated this. Never in my life had I ever felt so useless before. The one thing I had always been able to pride myself on was being a fighter, but there was no fight for me here. There was nothing I could do in this situation except sit on a plane and pray I still had a family when we landed.</p>
<p>I forced my eyes to look out the window to my right. People were still boarding the plane, but they were trickling in now. A few people took the empty seats around me, but my row stayed empty thankfully. Finally, the plane began to peel away from the airport and the stewardess walked the plane through safety procedures. I faced forward and leaned back in my seat for take-off.</p>
<p>We were only in the air for a few minutes, still rising, when I began to look around the cabin to try and catch the eye of a stewardess. They had to have a first aid kit and I wanted <em>all</em> the medications. Something to knock me out for the next 10 hours. I hated any kind of medication that could do that trick, but anything would be better than sitting here stuck in my own head with an aching shoulder.</p>
<p>There was shifting in the row behind me, but I ignored it until a man came to sit at the end of the row, leaving the middle seat empty. I turned to complain, this was <em>my</em> row the guy could take a hike, but my eyes landed on a smug face.</p>
<p>Vincent settled in the seat with an amused smirk. He nodded once at me, "Hey, Small Fry. How're you doing?"</p>
<p>There was a war between panic and disbelief waging in my head. Vincent glanced down the aisle before moving a seat closer so I was trapped between him and the window. He buckled his seatbelt, his smug look not faltering, and I could do nothing but gape at him.</p>
<p>"I'm glad I caught up to you finally. We should talk."</p>
<p>"There is no way my luck is <em>this</em> fucking bad."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Now Hiring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: We are so close to the end folks! 6 chapters left after this! There will be a sequel. We're taking this bad boy all the way to Endgame (so i can fix it lol). Leave me comments plssssssssssss. There are some happenstance in this chapter that I'm curious about your opinion on (;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"Now tell my friend about how you killed that guy!"</em>
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<p>
  <em>"It was for love!"</em>
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<p>
  <em>"Cool motive. Still murder."</em>
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  <em>-Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)</em>
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<p>I was starting to realize that I was the kind of person who could win the lottery but end up getting struck by lightning on my way to pick up the check. My pointer swung only in extremes. Either I was being adopted by the most loving group of superheroes on the planet or I was stuck sitting on a 10-hour flight with the guy who was trying to kill and/or kidnap me. Fate just <em>really</em> loved giving me whiplash.</p>
<p>"Now what?" I asked in exhaustion. The plane had leveled off and now we were cruising. I glanced at Vincent who had crossed his legs. He was big enough that it caused him to invade my space even further. "You stab me? Slit my throat? Or are you gonna knock me out so you can kidnap me as soon as we land? What's the game plan?"</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus</em>, are you always this dramatic?" Vincent scoffed and readjusted the jacket he had on. "Why would I do either of those things? This is a <em>10-hour flight</em>. I kill or knock you out now and what am I gonna do with all that spare time?"</p>
<p>It took a second for his words to dawn on me. My eyes widened, "Oh my God, are you gonna <em>talk</em> to me instead?"</p>
<p>"I hear I'm a very fun conversationalist."</p>
<p>"<em>Please kill me</em>." I replied. "If I get a say in this decision, I think I'd rather you just slit my throat or choke me out. Anything that keeps me from having to listen to you for 10 hours."</p>
<p>Vincent narrowed his eyes at me, "You aren't scared of me." I didn't reply to the statement and he chuckled, "And yet you're scared of my prick brother? I think I'm insulted. You hear that ass clown got out of jail and nearly <em>kill yourself</em> with worry—" I don't think I wanted to know how he knew about my reaction. "—but I sit down next to you, <em>trapping you</em> essentially, and you <em>mouth off at me</em>?"</p>
<p>"You're an evil, rat bastard." I leaned forward to spit at him. "A pretentious asshole who thinks he's hot shit that owns the world. I have <em>no reason </em>to be scared of you." I settled back in my seat and added, "Your brother on the other hand isn't just a dick. He's <em>fucking</em> unhinged."</p>
<p>Vincent nodded once with a raised eyebrow, "You know what? I'll give you that. Astute observation. Plus, his obsession with you was downright creepy."</p>
<p>"Says the guy that <em>stalked</em> me in New York, <em>followed</em> <em>me</em> to Romania, and then <em>boarded</em> the same plane as me." I scoffed.</p>
<p>"I did all that for your sake."</p>
<p>"Oh yeah? Well I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted anything to do with you. That's my bad. I had hoped breaking your elbow had been message enough."</p>
<p>Vincent chuckled and pulled back his sleeve to show me the metal brace he wore, "Yeah. I originally wanted to break every single joint of your body as retaliation." I felt my blood run cold at the nonchalant way he voiced that threat. "Luckily for you, I've had time to rethink and let my anger simmer." My eyes drifted to his hand where I could see the faint, scar lines of my teeth between his thumb and finger. He chuckled and held it up in closer view, "Mhmm, you gave me this little souvenir too."</p>
<p>I smirked to hide my nerves, "I hear I leave quite the first impression."</p>
<p>"Oh, that you do, doll." I stiffened at the pet name and he chuckled at my tension though didn't comment on it. He tilted his head and leaned toward me to whisper, "That wasn't the first time we met though."</p>
<p>My eyebrows furrowed, "Yes, it was."</p>
<p>"Nope. We met <em>way</em> before the day where I gut shot your coffee making friend."</p>
<p>"First off, reminding me of that moment isn't smart on your end." I said between clenched teeth. "I'll stab you in the first ten minutes of this flight and spend the rest of it sleeping soundly. Secondly—" I focused on his features looking through my memory for something familiar, but found nothing, "—I think I'd remember meeting scum like you."</p>
<p>Vincent nodded, "I know. I can't believe you forgot a handsome face like mine, but... you were a little preoccupied with getting the shit beaten out of you."</p>
<p>Damn. There were a number of days that I hardly remembered. I'd remember big details, but there would sometimes be blanks in my memory. A symptom of the many concussions I put my poor brain through and a reminder that it was a miracle I was still alive.</p>
<p>"I got you thinking now, huh?" He chuckled. "I'll give you a hint. It was a year ago. Summertime. You were in one of those back to back fights. What does my dumbass brother call them?"</p>
<p>"A marathon." I mumbled, but that hardly narrowed it down.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that." Vincent nodded. He reached forward and used his finger to force me to look at him. I recoiled at his touch with a glare. His smirk grew, "You looked at me kind of like that."</p>
<p>I shook my head out of his reach, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."</p>
<p>"You were in the last fight of that marathon. In the ring that isn't fenced off, but instead looks like a small hole in the ground." The pit. That made sense. "You had on this cute little number. Tight red shorts and a tight red sports bra? Left <em>nothing</em> to the imagination." Still didn't narrow anything down. "You were doing pretty good, but then in the last fight Eugene replaced your opponent with three guys."</p>
<p>I paled and sucked in a sharp breath.</p>
<p>Vincent winked with a nod, "You got it."</p>
<p>That night had happened, but it was riddled with holes. After an entire night of fighting, I wasn't able to keep up with the three large guys he put in the ring with me and went down pretty hard. Boss had been pissed at me about it. Like I had even stood a chance.</p>
<p>"What do you remember from that night?" Vincent asked seriously.</p>
<p>"I remember being tired. Then I was pissed at your brother for sending in those three guys. Then I was hurting, hurting <em>real</em> bad." I answered him honestly, trying to get to the bottom of this myself. "The fight ended, someone picked me up, but then there's a blank space. Next I'm in Boss' office and he's yelling. He carved a mark into my back. Then nothing. Then I was in an alley puking. I remember that. I stumbled down the road and then <em>nothing</em>. Last thing I remember is lying in my bed. I passed out for good a little while later."</p>
<p>Vincent nodded, "Yeah, I made my appearance in blank space number two." He held two fingers up and wiggled them slightly in my face. "You came out of the Eugene's office bleeding. From your face, your back, I mean, <em>fuck</em>, you were covered in blood as red as your outfit."</p>
<p>I tried to recall the moments leaving his office, but there was nothing. It was like my memory skipped right over that and picked up with me throwing up violently in the alley outside of the ring.</p>
<p>"I complimented you. Said you were a good fighter. <em>A badass</em>. I asked if you knew how lucky you were that I was here watching you fight." Vincent's lips curled up in a smile as he chuckled to himself. "You walked up to me, stared me down like you weren't some <em>broken</em> little girl <em>bleeding and suffering</em> from a concussion, and said '<em>Fuck off'</em>." He glanced at me in amusement. "Then you spat a wad of blood at my feet and stumbled away."</p>
<p>"That <em>does</em> sound like me." I mumbled. "What the hell were you doing in the ring anyways?"</p>
<p>Vincent waved his hand, "Eugene had pissed me off about some money issues. Little jackass was holding out on me. So, I came to rough him up a little." He shrugged. Damn, I wish I had been able to see and remember that. It'd be a pretty cool memory to have. "I actually planned on also killing you at the time."</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus Christ, dude</em>."</p>
<p>"I changed my mind!" Vincent argued as if he hadn't just told me that he casually planned my murder once upon a time. "I knew Eugene was obsessed with you, and I figured he'd stop fucking with my business if I crushed his favorite toy."</p>
<p>It took every ounce of me not to swing at him. The guy had a punch-able face in general, especially after the shit he pulled the last few months, but being called Boss' toy made my blood boil. There was nothing I hated more than that. I did not belong to him. I never did. I had 34 marks on my back as <em>proof</em> that I <em>never </em>caved and let him own me.</p>
<p>"I saw something in your eyes when you spat at me." Vincent nodded. "<em>Potential</em>. Eugene didn't know what he had. I figured my plan to piss him off would work just as well if I took you back to Vegas with me."</p>
<p>My eyes widened, "<em>What</em>? Vegas with you?"</p>
<p>Vincent grinned, "Oh yeah, doll, I was gonna take you home with me. Let that potential <em>flourish</em>. I even followed you home with one of my guys."</p>
<p>I desperately tried to remember that night, but there was nothing for me to fall back on. I slowly shook my head in disbelief, "If that's the case then why… why didn't you kidnap me then? What happened that night?"</p>
<p>"Oh no, no, no." Vincent readjusted himself in the seat. "This flight just started, Small Fry. You don't get to skip ahead of the story."</p>
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    <strong>[Time Elapsed: 00:47:15]</strong>
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<p>Sokovia's streets were filled with early dawn light and the panicked cries of stampeding people. Tony took another lap around the city, knocking out any barriers that got in the way of escape, and watched the team try to get every person they could out of harm's way. The only players he didn't see out on the field were Thor and Clint. He knew Thor was under the castle looking for answers and Clint was somewhere trying to find Natasha.</p>
<p>"<em>Your man's in the church, boss</em>." FRIDAY's voice chimed in his suit and he only allowed himself a second to miss JARVIS' voice before taking a sharp turn in the air. "<em>I think he's waiting for you</em>."</p>
<p>Tony spotted the church, at the center of the city, and dropped down through the broken and crumbling roof. He only had to take a few steps forward when Ultron's voice filled the surrounding air.</p>
<p>"Come to confess your sins?"</p>
<p>"I don't know. How much time you got?"</p>
<p>"More than you."</p>
<p>Tony turned, Ultron stepping out of the shadows, and his eyes widened as they drifted up to look him in the face. He was…<em>larger</em>. Significantly so. "Uh…" Tony took a step back, "Have you been juicing? Little vibranium cocktail? You're looking… I don't wanna say '<em>puffy'</em>."</p>
<p>"You're stalling to protect the people." Ultron said.</p>
<p>"Well, that <em>is</em> the mission." Tony said slowly. "Did you forget?"</p>
<p>Ultron chuckled darkly, "I've moved beyond your mission. I'm <em>free</em>."</p>
<p>Rocks and rubble burst into the air, forcing Tony back, as a metal core popped out from the middle of the church's concrete floor. The core spun, clearing the dust, and Tony felt his blood run cold at the sight. Metal arms shot out from the sides and clamped down to the floor.</p>
<p>"What?" Ultron grinned. "You think you were the only one stalling?" Tony let his eyes drift over the core again as FRIDAY scanned it. The entire thing was made of vibranium and went deep, deep into the Earth. "This is how you end, Tony. This is <em>peace in my time</em>."</p>
<p>Steve and others called out over the comm line loudly. Drones had invaded the city and were firing into the crowds. They had officially run out of time. Tony blasted into the air, his job here was over and the people of Sokovia needed more help. His decision doubled down when he spotted Vision enter the church to take his place and burn Ultron out of the internet.</p>
<p>Clint, who got stuck on a bridge in the fray, was firing arrows as quickly as he could while people ran past him to get to safety. He clenched his jaw in annoyance. Clint spoke up, "I got caught at the east side of the city and I can't leave. Too many civilians. Thor, can you look for Nat down—"</p>
<p>"I will search for her, Barton. Have no worries." Thor answered over the comm line and it only marginally comforted him. He fired two more arrows dropping two drones that climbed over the bridge railing.</p>
<p>Moments later the ground under his feet began to rumble. Clint took a few steps back, making sure Wanda was alright, and watched as the street only twenty feet away cracked and began to separate. The side he was on rose while the opposite side began to sink.</p>
<p>"Uh, good news, bad news." Tony said over the comm. "Good news, the Vision burned Ultron out of the internet. Bad news… uh, Sokovia is in the air."</p>
<p>Clint watched as the drones stopped attacking. They hovered in the air and a voice came from each one, echoing down the streets of Sokovia, "<em>Do you see the beauty of it</em>?" Ultron sounded excited and in awe. "<em>The inevitability. You rise, only to fall. You, Avengers, you are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword, and the Earth will crack with the weight of your failure</em>." Ultron cackled over the drones. Clint shot down one only for the one to replace it. "<em>Purge me from your computers, turn my own flesh against me—it means nothing. When the dust settles the only thing living in this world will be metal.</em>"</p>
<p>When the voice faded, and the drones began to fire again, Clint realized the city had rose significantly. Panic hit him hard. Clint lifted his hand to his ear desperately, "Does <em>anyone</em> have eyes on Natasha yet!?"</p>
<p>"<em>I'm looking right at her, boss man</em>."</p>
<p>Clint blinked in confusion at the sound of Kate's voice speaking over their frequency. Before he could respond with his <em>multitude</em> of questions, the voice he was so desperate to hear spoke next.</p>
<p>"You boys miss me?" Natasha chuckled. He could hear the smirk she wore. "I got out on my own when Ultron ran, but then you guys let the city leave without me."</p>
<p>Tony chimed in, "In our defense, none of us actually wanna be on this ride."</p>
<p>"Well, don't worry. I ran into some friends."</p>
<p>Steve was neck deep in drones, but he still couldn't hold back the grin at his redheaded friend's words. Natasha was no damsel in distress. She didn't need anyone to scoop in and save her. She just needed a ride to the next fight.</p>
<p>"Sorry we're late, Cap." Coulson suddenly spoke up. This time, as he used his shield to cut a drone straight in half, he couldn't hold back his laugh. The more hands on deck the better. Steve grabbed a drone midair to slam it into the ground before it went after a group of running citizens. "Where do you need us?"</p>
<p>"<em>Everywhere</em>." Steve replied. "Get innocents to safety. Find any cover you can for them!"</p>
<p>A quinjet flew over his head toward the center of the city. Steve heard a roar from a few blocks over and he didn't need anyone to tell him that a code green had gone into effect. Between the Hulk and Coulson's team arriving on scene, the tides were beginning to turn.</p>
<p>Steve threw his shield forward, taking out three drones as it bounced off one to another, then caught it when it came back to him. He spun around to keep fighting just in time for a drone to slam into his midsection and throw him back into the front windshield of a car.</p>
<p>"Cap, you got incoming!" Tony called out.</p>
<p>Steve groaned and sat up, "Incoming already came in, but thanks." He grimaced and rolled off the car to his feet, "Stark, you worry about bringing the city back down safely. The rest of us have <em>one</em> job. Tear these damn things apart and get people to safety." Steve sucked in a sharp breath. "You get hurt, hurt them back. You get killed, <em>walk it off</em>."</p>
<p>The fight had only just begun, and they had a long way to go.</p>
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<p>"You can't ignore me for this entire flight."</p>
<p>"Don't underestimate my ability to pretend like a problem doesn't exist."</p>
<p>After he refused to tell me why he didn't kidnap me from my apartment I resorted to the elementary school yard cold shoulder. Vincent tried to keep talking, but he learned it wasn't nearly as fun when I didn't respond back to him or give him any of my attention.</p>
<p>"I didn't kidnap you because someone stopped me." Vincent finally admitted.</p>
<p>I nearly broke my neck turning to look at him, "<em>What</em>?"</p>
<p>"You heard me." He shook his head.</p>
<p>"Who stopped you?" I pressed for more answers. There wasn't a single person back then that would get in the way of Vincent taking me. Even if Hammerhead had seen it happening, she wasn't dumb enough to get in the way of it.</p>
<p>Vincent smirked, "You ready to talk to me again?" I clenched my jaw, but he knew he had me. He chuckled with a nod, "I'll tell you, but there's more you gotta know about Eugene and me. I wasn't always like this, you know?"</p>
<p>"<em>Oh God</em>, are you gonna tell me your <em>villain origin story</em>?" I blanched and Vincent glared at me. A stewardess began to walk by while rolling the food cart, and I quickly caught her attention. Vincent stiffened, but I wasn't stupid enough to get innocent people involved in our mess. "Ma'am? Hi! Yeah, I'd like <em>all</em> of your wine please."</p>
<p>The stewardess' eyes widened, and she looked between the two of us. She was pretty, young, and extremely confused by my request. She blinked, "I, uh, I'm sorry what?"</p>
<p>"Your wine? What is it?" I asked and she hesitated, still confused, before pulling out a small airplane bottle of red wine. "Oh gross, it's merlot? Fuck, okay, I'll take every single bottle you have on that cart."</p>
<p>She shook her head, "Miss, you're technically allowed to—to order that, I suppose, but I have to <em>highly </em>recommend against it. Not only will it be extremely expensive, but we have a low tolerance for drunk and unruly behavior on our flights—"</p>
<p>I dug out my wallet and pulled out my credit card, "Don't worry about it. I'm a Stark. You know? <em>Tony Stark</em>? I'm also kind of a Barton, but that has like <em>zero pull</em> in this situation." I mumbled the last bit to myself and handed her the card, "Wine. Now please."</p>
<p>Her eyes widened as she took the card, "Oh my God, you're their—you're <em>Aj Bradshaw</em>. Like from Instagram and you're their—"</p>
<p>"Criminal PR agent? Yes, I am." I nodded. "Give me the box of wine you have on the cart and then give yourself a hefty tip using that card."</p>
<p>The woman nodded quickly and pulled the box out of the cart and handed it over Vincent to me. She looked to him and asked if he'd like anything. He gave her a charming smile, "Whiskey on the rocks, doll. Charge baby Stark here."</p>
<p>I nodded and turned to my box of tiny Sutter Home wine bottles. Merlot was disgusting, Natasha would never be able to convince me otherwise, but alcohol was alcohol. Each bottle was a little over 13% in strength and had about 200 mL. I uncapped and threw back two full mini bottles before turning back to Vincent.</p>
<p>"Alright, hit me with your sob story."</p>
<p>"Is this <em>really</em> necessary?" He scoffed. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he rolled his eyes and went back to talking. "Eugene is my half-brother. We share a mom but have different dads. My home life was shitty, but it got worse when the prick was born."</p>
<p>I snorted and cracked open another bottle, "Yeah, I think his birth was a dark day for humanity as a whole."</p>
<p>Vincent scoffed, "Yeah, the little sociopath was fucked up even as a kid, but I got out of that house as soon as I could. Made a life for myself."</p>
<p>"As the <em>Reaper</em>?" I drawled, mocking his name.</p>
<p>He smirked, "No. As <em>Vincent Morgan</em>." Vincent lifted the sleeve of the arm without a brace and showed me a tattoo he had there. It was a blue patch with a red diamond in the center surrounded by silver stars. In the center of that diamond was a gold bird and anchor. "Staff Sergeant CSO of a US Marines Raiders Regiment."</p>
<p>"I know <em>most</em> of those words separately."</p>
<p>"You should ask your boyfriend about the Raiders." Vincent chuckled. "They were created in World War II. First regiment even worked with your boy."</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes, took a heavy sip, and shook my head, "Are you referring to Steve as my boyfriend?"</p>
<p>"Did pretty boy never make a move?" Vincent scoffed. "I told him he should before he lost his chance."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes with a scoff. Yeah, Steve Rogers, sweetheart of America and all-around stand-up guy and good friend, was going to make a move on my ass. I had the appeal of a rotting fish. And I could think that because Natasha and the others weren't anywhere near me to see my look of self-depreciation and flip me.</p>
<p>"Yeah, because <em>you're</em> the authority on romance."</p>
<p>"You'd be surprised." Vincent replied just as the stewardess came back with my card and his drink. He took a sip, flicking my card at me, and nodded once, "I was married."</p>
<p>I finished another bottle, "Oh yeah? She leave you because you were an entitled, power hungry bastard?"</p>
<p>"No. She died."</p>
<p>My eyes drifted over to see a faraway look in his Vincent's eyes. He was staring at a spot ahead of him, but it was an unfocused gaze. I shouldn't feel any sort of guilt for this asshole, but I couldn't help it. I knew what loss felt like. Gut wrenching, heart crushing loss, and I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry." I said. "That sucks. Still doesn't give you the right to be a monster."</p>
<p>Vincent chuckled, "That's where you're wrong." He turned back to me, "She died because I <em>refused</em> to be a monster. I came back from a war thinking I could move on with my life and be a normal, good man. That I could have the white picket fence and my sins wouldn't come back to haunt me." Vincent lifted his glass and pointed a finger at me, "Good guys don't finish last. <em>They get killed</em>. Good people, people who try to fight that <em>primal</em> urge in them, get <em>crushed</em> under the heel of the world and <em>spat on</em>."</p>
<p>"What happened to your wife?" I asked, my fingers playing with the bottle in my hand.</p>
<p>"The world took her from me." Vincent replied dryly. "The world took <em>everything</em> from me…so I started taking back."</p>
<p>He focused on his own drink while I put down another half bottle. I finally shook my head at him, "Why are you telling me all of this?"</p>
<p>"I don't quite know yet." Vincent replied quietly and stared straight ahead again.</p>
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    <strong>[Time Elapsed: 01:13:56]</strong>
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</p>
<p>Wanda's scream of panic caught his attention and Clint turned to fire an arrow through the head of a drone that tried to swoop down on the young girl and the civilian she was trying to get into a building. She ducked into a corner while Clint ducked under a plasma blast from a drone behind him. Another one came in, but a blast of red threw it aside into a building. Clint sprinted forward, jumping onto a car, and then flipped over a drone that swung at him. As he landed, he fired an arrow point blank into the drone's face.</p>
<p>Clint glanced up to see five new drones enter the sky above them. He cursed under his breath and yelled for Wanda to run. Clint caught up to her, set his hand on the back of her head protectively, and as the drones fired he wrapped his arms around her and threw them through a window into a dark room.</p>
<p>"Get back." Clint groaned and rolled up to peek out the broken window.</p>
<p>Wanda scrambled away from the light shining in, "<em>How could I let this happen</em>!?"</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, kid! You okay?" Clint pressed.</p>
<p>Wanda was close to hyperventilating, he could see the panic in her eyes as red sparks flickered between her fingers, "This is all our fault."</p>
<p>Clint groaned and knelt down beside her. He grabbed the side of her head to focus her eyes on him, "Hey, look at me. <em>Look at me</em>." Clint waited until he could see her attention tune in. "It's your fault, it's my fault, it's <em>everyone's</em> fault. Who gives a damn?" Wanda pressed her lips together, but he could still see her bottom lip quivering. "Are you up for this? Are you?"</p>
<p>"I—I—" Wanda stammered.</p>
<p>"Look, I <em>need</em> to know now, kid." Clint said firmly. "Because the city—<em>the city is flying</em>. Like <em>literally</em> flying and we—? We are fighting an <em>army</em> of fucking robots and my dumbass is running around with a bow and some arrows." He shook his head with a shrug. "Our lives stopped making sense a long, <em>long</em> time ago."</p>
<p>Bullets shot through the wall between them and Wanda screamed again as he leaned back. Quickly, he notched an incendiary arrow through the brand new bullet hole in the wall. The tip exploded and he turned back to Wanda who was still shaking.</p>
<p>"I gotta get back out there. It's my job." Clint shook his head. "Okay? And I can't do my job <em>and</em> babysit." He glanced out the holes then back to her. "Wanda, listen to me. Wanda. It doesn't matter what you did or what you were." He could see her beginning to calm to some degree. "If you go out there, you fight, and you fight to kill. You can stay in here if you need to, that's okay, I'll send your punk brother to come find you." Clint took in a slow breath. "But if you step out that door… you are an Avenger."</p>
<p>Clint watched as a slow determination begin to fill her glowing eyes. He nodded once and stood up. He grabbed the arrow pack off his boot and shook it once to release a new set of arrows. Clint sighed, "The city is flying. <em>Flying</em>." He stepped back to the doors and rolled his shoulders, "The city is flying, and I adopted another kid. Jesus, Tash is gonna kill me."</p>
<p>"Why am I killing you?" Natasha spoke up through his earpiece.</p>
<p>"<em>Nothing, honey</em>!" Clint sang then slammed his boot into the door and spun with multiple arrows notched.</p>
<p>Thor, who was rocketing off the ground to get to the soaring city, was caught off guard when two cars nearly ran him over midair. Thor flew back down to catch up to the closest car. The red convertible, missing a bumper, had a woman screaming in the driver's seat. He grabbed her by the arm and looked up to Steve with a hand outstretched. He nodded and threw her straight up as hard as he could. He didn't wait to see if Steve had caught her. Thor knew he had.</p>
<p>He shot to the other car, a tiny green thing with two men screaming inside, and grabbed the underside to fly up with the car in hand. When he got to the bridge, he saw Steve throw a drone off the city. Thor dropped the car onto the road and landed beside it.</p>
<p>Steve shot him a smirk, "What took you so long? Stop for a nap?"</p>
<p>"And miss out on all this fun?" Thor grinned and they jogged off the bridge to the plaza.</p>
<p>Natasha who was only a few feet away, took out a pack of drones, and called out over her shoulder to them, "If you wanna take a break from flirting and help out a little that'd be nice, but please take your time!"</p>
<p>Thor chuckled and swung his hammer under the chin of a drone to send it flying. Steve ducked under a shot and rolled to his feet up beside him. Steve nodded at him, "Batter up?"</p>
<p>"Always." Thor chimed.</p>
<p>Steve threw his shield into the ground and when it bounced back up Thor slammed his hammer into the side shooting it out and through six or seven drones before pinning the last one into the side of a car.</p>
<p>Natasha hummed, "You boys are actually getting good at that."</p>
<p>Thor jumped into the air, grabbed a drone by the leg, and swung around in a wide circle crashing it into the drones surrounding him. When he released it the drone went soaring straight into a large gas truck that immediately went up in a ball of flames.</p>
<p>"<em>Thor</em>!" Natasha yelled.</p>
<p>Thor spun in the air looking for the warning, but Ultron slammed into his side and tackled him through a building. The robot growled and threw him even further, "You're bothering me."</p>
<p>Clint, all the way on the other side of the city still fighting on the same blocks as he had been before, shot down three more drones then got blasted into the side of a car. He groaned and rolled to the side so he'd have a little more cover, "<em>Ow</em>."</p>
<p>"You getting too old for the game, Barton?" Kate snickered over the comms.</p>
<p>Clint pressed his lips together, "Bishop, where the <em>hell</em> is my package?"</p>
<p>"Huh?"</p>
<p>He knew the others could hear him. They always left comms open partly to keep each other safe and partly to make digs at one another while they fought. As much as Clint didn't want to risk the others finding out the little secret he knew, he also had to know what the fuck was going on with Aj.</p>
<p>"<em>The package</em>!" He said again.</p>
<p>"Oh, uh, it's…on route to America?" Kate replied. Clint didn't like the idea that Aj was going home all alone, and he knew Daisy was running around out here too, but at least they hadn't brought her with them to Sokovia.</p>
<p>Heat washed over his head as a drone fired on him. Clint cursed under his breath for getting distracted and rolled further away to try and get a clean shot on the new drones that had soared in. A door to his side was kicked open and he watched as a glowing Wanda stepped out into the light. She raised her hands and ripped the drones in the air into pieces. The glow dissipated as the air cleared of robots.</p>
<p>Wanda shot him a look, and Clint grinned at her with a thumbs up, "Nice, kid." He glanced around. "Okay, all clear here, guys."</p>
<p>"<em>Well we're fucking not</em>!" Steve grunted over the comms. "Get your ass over here, Clint!"</p>
<p>"Aw, do you miss me?" Clint replied.</p>
<p>Him and Wanda only took a few steps down the street when a blur of blue and gray swept in. Dust blew up in the air around them as Pietro came into view. He shot Clint a smug smile, scooped his sister up, and then took off, "<em>Try to keep up, old man</em>!"</p>
<p>Clint coughed as the dust filled his lungs. He slowly raised his bow in the kid's direction, "Nobody would know." He shrugged. "Nobody." Clint groaned and lowered his bow so he could start jogging toward the front of the city alone. "The last I saw him, an Ultron was sitting on him. Yeah, he'll be missed, that <em>quick little bastard</em>. Hell, I miss him already."</p>
<p>Steve could hear Clint grumbling over the comm line and seconds later he watched as Pietro zoomed into a crowd of drones attacking a squad of police with his sister. A wall of red rolled off of Wanda like a wave and destroyed a number of drones in front of her. He turned and crushed a drone's head against the hood of a car. Straight ahead of him he saw Natasha get surrounded, but he wasn't gonna get there in time.</p>
<p>"<em>Romanof</em>!" He barked and threw his shield forward.</p>
<p>The shield pinned a drone to the car beside her. The spy chimed out a quick thanks and pulled her arm through the straps to use. He watched her block a blow and use the tool effectively against the drone. He kept sprinting forward and as soon as he was in reach he jumped up in the air as she threw the shield up to him. Steve caught it and brought it down on the drone's head.</p>
<p>Steve glanced around to see no drones in the immediate area. He nodded at Natasha and they hurried toward a group of people hiding behind a car in fear. They got them up and hurried them to the grocery store where they were keeping a large pack of civilians.</p>
<p>"Next wave is gonna hit any minute." Steve sighed. "Tell me what you got, Stark."</p>
<p>"Huh?" Tony replied. "Well, nothing great. Maybe a way to…blow up the city." Steve could hear Tony sigh over the comm. "That'll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head and stepped back outside to keep guard, "I asked for a solution, not an escape plan."</p>
<p>"Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We're gonna have to make a choice."</p>
<p>Natasha stepped forward to stand beside him, "Steve, these people are going nowhere. If Stark finds a way to blow this rock…"</p>
<p>"Not till everyone is safe." Steve snapped.</p>
<p>"Everyone up here versus everyone down there?" Natasha shook her head. "There's no math there."</p>
<p>"I'm <em>not</em> leaving this rock with one civilian on it."</p>
<p>"I didn't say we should leave." There was a pause and Steve glanced over at his friend. Natasha gave him a soft smile. Maybe that was how this mission ended. He didn't like the idea of the civilians on this rock having to give up their lives, but… Natasha nodded, "There's worse ways to go."</p>
<p>Steve let out a sad chuckle. That was true. He tried so hard to keep his mind in the now, in what was happening in front of him, but the thought of Aj still drifted into his head. He had said good-bye over the phone, just in case, but his heart ached at the thought of leaving her alone in the world. She wouldn't be entirely alone, but she'd lose all of them. She'd be alive though. Steve could settle on that.</p>
<p>Natasha nudged him in the side, "Besides, where else are we gonna get a view like this?"</p>
<p>There was a beat of silence, the view <em>was</em> nice, but another familiar voice connected into the comm line to interrupt the moment.</p>
<p>"<em>Glad you like the view, Romanof</em>." Fury chuckled. "<em>It's about to get better</em>."</p>
<p>They watched as a helicarrier rose up from the clouds to saddle up beside the rising rock. Natasha chuckled beside him and Steve smiled at her. He turned at the sound of someone jogging up. Coulson, sweaty and dirty, stopped beside them, "Took you long enough, sir."</p>
<p>"I had to knock off some cobwebs and sweep away a few mothballs. Sue me."</p>
<p>"Fury, you son of a bitch." Steve chuckled.</p>
<p>The sides of the helicarrier opened up to release multiple lifeboats. Steve glanced over to see Daisy and Kate Bishop race into the plaza. Coulson waved them over then turned to him, "Hunter and May are running the streets looking for stragglers. Fitzsimmons, Mac, and Bobbi are down in the remainder of the city below getting people clear of the blast zone." Kate and Daisy reached them. "You guys okay?"</p>
<p>Steve spotted blood at Daisy's hairline, but it looked like the only injury between the two of them. Daisy nodded at them in greeting, "No worse than anyone else. Where do you need us, Cap?"</p>
<p>Kate gave him a grin, "Yeah, <em>Captain America</em>, sir, what can we do for you?"</p>
<p>He chuckled, "Help us get the civilians in the plaza onto the lifeboats. Keep an eye out for the next wave of drones."</p>
<p>Tony, making his fifth trip around the rock, circled back to the front just in time to see Rhodey fire at a pack of drones. He grinned in his suit and connected his suit to his. Tony blasted a drone that was nipping at his friend's heel.</p>
<p>"If you want a good story to tell at parties, you're gonna have to live to tell it you know?" He joked.</p>
<p>"You think I can't hold my own?" Rhodey scoffed.</p>
<p>"We get through this, <em>I'll</em> hold your own." Tony smirked.</p>
<p>Rhodey sighed in good nature, "You had to make it weird."</p>
<p>"Isn't that why you love me?"</p>
<p>The two of them banked hard and went after another pack of drones that was trying to attack the mobs of people being led to the lifeboats. The entire time he bounced ideas off FRIDAY trying to find the one that would work best and had the highest chances of not failing and killing the world. Their best bet was creating a heat seal from the bottom which meant he needed Thor's help.</p>
<p>"We are out of time." Thor called out over the comm line as if Tony hadn't just been thinking about the god. "Ultron is coming for the core."</p>
<p>"Hear that, Avengers? Time to work for a living." Tony whistled.</p>
<p>Coulson took control of the plaza with the other agents while the Avengers made their way to the center of the city. Tony landed in time to stop a drone from grabbing at the core. Thor was on his left, Vision on his right, and he caught sight of Pietro zooming into the area with his sister in tow. Steve was a second behind, Clint and Natasha rolling in behind him, and the Hulk roared loudly before storming into the area.</p>
<p>They took up place around the core, making sure there was no space between them for a drone to sneak in. This was where they made the final stand. Tony flipped his mask up and pointed to the vibranium core, "This is the drill. If Ultron gets a hand on it, we lose."</p>
<p>"We've done this before." Clint shrugged. "It's just high stakes capture the flag. Sort of. Well— I guess not really. Never mind."</p>
<p>"Anything else to add, Clint?" Steve questioned.</p>
<p>"Nah, I'm good for now." Clint shrugged and notched an arrow.</p>
<p>Ultron dropped into sight, about fifty yards out, and the joking atmosphere returned to focus. Thor stepped forward, "<em>Is that the best you can do</em>!?"</p>
<p>The AI raised a hand and an entire army of drones came into view as far as their eyes could see. Tony could feel his friends, his family, around him stiffen at the sight. Steve groaned in exhaustion, "You just <em>had</em> to ask."</p>
<p>Thor tilted his head with a sheepish grimace.</p>
<p>Ultron yelled, "<em>This</em> is the best I can do. This is <em>exactly</em> what I wanted! All of you, against all of me. How can you possibly hope to stop me?"</p>
<p>"Well", Tony glanced over at Steve who caught his gaze. "Like the old man said…" He flipped his facemask down. "<em>Together</em>."</p>
<p> </p>
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    <em>[Countdown: 06:02:57]</em>
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<p>There were more empty bottles in front of me than full ones. I was tiptoeing the line between black out drunk and functional drunk. I was still around enough to know where I was. To know that I was sitting silently beside Vincent Morgan. That was about it though. The alcohol had done its job. My shoulder didn't throb with pain anymore and my heart didn't ache. I grabbed another bottle, uncapped it, and lifted it to my lips just to be stopped by a rough hand.</p>
<p>"Do you <em>really</em> think this is a good idea?" Vincent asked gruffly.</p>
<p>"Didn' we already have this conversation?" I mumbled and pushed his hand away to chug the bottle. Vincent grabbed the box and shoved it into the seat on his other side. "<em>Hey</em>!"</p>
<p>He shook his head, "You're a lot of things, doll, but I didn't peg you as <em>fucking stupid</em>."</p>
<p>"Stupid?" I laughed. "The wine is part of my <em>elaborate</em> escape plan, <em>Vinny boy</em>."</p>
<p>"Oh yeah? Enlighten me."</p>
<p>I grinned at him and tossed the empty bottle in my hand against his chest. Red wine droplets splattered on his shirt, but he didn't seem to even flinch. I shrugged, "I get so drunk that the moment we land in New York an ambulance has to be called to take me to a hospital." Vincent scoffed at me and I used my free hand to try and undo the sling that I was tired of wearing. "It's <em>foolproof</em>. I can't be kidnapped if I'm havin' my stomach pumped."</p>
<p>Vincent slapped my hand away so I couldn't get out of my sling, "It's not fucking foolproof and as the guy who is trying to kidnap you I shouldn't have to tell you that."</p>
<p>"Well that's where I'm at!" I snapped. The stewardess came by and Vincent asked her for multiple bottles of water and whatever snack foods they had. I scoffed and slouched in my seat in annoyance.</p>
<p>When she came back with the supplies, he uncapped a water bottle and forced it into my hands. Vincent also ripped open a pack of cookies and tossed it onto my lap. I rolled my eyes and shoved one in my mouth, "<em>Fuck off</em>."</p>
<p>He chuckled, "You know, you remind me of her. My wife."</p>
<p>I swallowed the cookie in my mouth and made a face of revulsion, "Oh, <em>gross</em>."</p>
<p>"Not like that, you drunk little shit." Vincent snapped. "She was a fighter. She was stubborn and bold. She took life by the horns and bulldozed anyone who stood in her way." He focused his studious gaze on me. "You're like that. A warrior. Which is why I don't get why you're <em>wallowing</em> in pity drinking your ass off on a plane."</p>
<p>I let out a cold laugh, "You don't get it? <em>You don't get it</em>?" I scoffed loudly and ignored the shushes from the people in front of us. "I'm stuck on a plane to New York sitting next to <em>you</em>. A guy workin' for <em>HYDRA</em> who wants me <em>dead</em>." My lip quivered and turned away from him to stare ahead. My voice lowered. "Bucky is still in Romania. I fucked up an' he ran. He doesn't even wanna talk to me anymore an'—an' let's add in the fact that nearly everyone I love is in Sokovia right now fightin' for their lives. That they could die, hell they could already be dead, and I don't even know it."</p>
<p>"So what? You gonna fucking cry about it?"</p>
<p>"I wish those tiny wine bottles were glass so I could bust one open an' fuckin' stab you with it." I replied just as quickly.</p>
<p>Vincent grinned and pushed the water bottle back to my lips, "There's that fight." He shrugged, "And I do <em>not</em> work for HYDRA <em>or</em> that nazi piece of shit Strucker."</p>
<p>"My sources tell me otherwise."</p>
<p>"He had resources I needed. A means to an end." Vincent replied off-handedly. "I didn't ever plan on actually handing you over to him."</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes at him, "Why the hell does he want me anyways? I'm a nobody. Not even an inhuman."</p>
<p>"Hell, if I know." Vincent answered.</p>
<p>I didn't know if this didn't make sense because I was so close to being out of it or if it really was just a confusing situation. I slowly shook my head, ignoring the way it made me feel dizzy, "Then… Then why the fuck are you comin' after me like this? What the fuck do you want?"</p>
<p>"It all goes back to the day I tried to kidnap you." Vincent said. "I want the same thing now that I wanted then."</p>
<p>"What?" I asked softly.</p>
<p>Vincent focused his steady gaze on me, leaning forward, and nodded once, "<em>You</em>."</p>
<p>I twisted my lips again, "Double gross."</p>
<p>"<em>Motherfucker</em>." Vincent snapped under his breath in annoyance. He glared at me, "You as in I want to offer you a <em>job</em>, you drunk idiot. I want you to fucking <em>work for me</em>."</p>
<p> </p>
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    <em>[Time Elapsed: 02:11:29]</em>
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<p>There was a lull. Ultron's main form had been destroyed, most of his drones taken out, but the fight wasn't over. It wasn't over until the rock they stood on was vaporized. Natasha watched as Vision took off into the air to help Rhodey and SHIELD take out straggling drones. Thor and Tony left to focus on their mission to destroy the city.</p>
<p>"Air is getting thin. Even I can tell." Steve barked out. "Get to the lifeboats. I'll make one last sweep of the city and be right behind you."</p>
<p>Clint, who stood beside her, adjusting his arrows shook his head, "What about the core?"</p>
<p>"I'll protect it." Wanda said firmly. She stepped onto the platform to stand beside it. Natasha looked the girl over with interest. Wanda nodded in their direction, "It's my job."</p>
<p>Clint nudged her in the side then pointed at the young girl, "That's our daughter. Aren't you proud?"</p>
<p>"What did I tell you about adopting people?" Natasha questioned while Wanda shot them an amused look. Her brother zoomed up to stand beside her. "What did I say?"</p>
<p>"To run it by you first." Clint groaned. Steve chuckled and turned to start making his sweep. The archer nodded once, "And to also ask them first, I guess."</p>
<p>Pietro looked at his sister, she was silent, but then he nodded, "Ah, I see." The boy motioned to Clint. "<em>Father</em>? You're a little old to be a father. Perhaps, great, great <em>grandfather</em>?"</p>
<p>"I don't want <em>him</em>." Clint argued. "Tony can have him. I mean <em>two</em> greats?"</p>
<p>"Let's go." Natasha hummed.</p>
<p>She dragged her boyfriend away and listened to the twins bicker behind her.</p>
<p>"Come back for me when everyone else is off. Not before."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah."</p>
<p>"Do you understand? People first."</p>
<p>"You know, I'm 12 minutes older than you."</p>
<p>As they cleared out of the church, Clint found them a convertible to take back to the lifeboats. She jumped into the passenger seat, "Was she wearing my leather jacket?"</p>
<p>Clint nodded and slammed on the gas, "Yes, but didn't she look adorable? The red leather goes with the red…<em>magic</em>? Whatever she does."</p>
<p>They sped down the road, and Natasha pulled out her gun to fire at a drone that flew over them. She shook her head, "Oh yeah, hey, how is it Daisy and Kate are suddenly buddies? How'd Bishop get involved?"</p>
<p>Clint motioned with one hand the sign '<em>off'</em>. Curiously, Natasha momentarily swapped her earpiece off. Once she did, he nodded, "They met in Romania and bonded over their mission to bring Aj home."</p>
<p>Natasha stiffened in her seat, "<em>Excuse me?"</em></p>
<p>"Yeah." Clint scoffed. "She fucking went to Romania to find <em>Bucky Barnes</em>—" Her eyes widened, "—and then got found by fucking <em>Vincent Morgan</em>."</p>
<p>Natasha groaned and leaned her head back on the seat's headrest, "Is she okay?"</p>
<p>"Kate says she's on her way back to New York. She did get shot though."</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>!?"</p>
<p>Clint shook his head, "I don't know. I haven't been able to have a full conversation with them. Daisy says she's okay though."</p>
<p>"Well I'm glad she's okay because as soon as we get back I'm gonna kill her."</p>
<p>The car came to a screeching halt outside the plaza and they both shared a look before turning their earpieces back on. A loud roar off to the side caught their attention. Clint shot her a look, "Time for a lullaby."</p>
<p>"Got it." Natasha chirped and jumped out of the car.</p>
<p>Clint grabbed her by the crook of her elbow before she could get far. He squeezed her arm and let his eyes trace her face. They were so close to the end, but the end is when things tended to go to shit. He nodded, "Hey, be careful, okay? Come back to me."</p>
<p>"Don't I always?" Natasha hummed. She pushed up onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. Clint pulled her close, holding her there for a moment longer, before letting her go. Natasha winked at him and turned to find the Hulk.</p>
<p>Clint nodded to himself and hurried into the plaza to help the last few people onto the lifeboat. After getting a couple into their seats, he stayed on the lifeboat an took in a tired breath. The plaza was empty, and he didn't see any drones in the area. Steve was not far off getting a few more people onto the lifeboat beside his.</p>
<p>"<em>Costel</em>!" A woman screamed. "<em>My son</em>!"</p>
<p>He glanced over to see a distressed woman sitting on the floor. Her hairline was covered in thick blood and her skin was covered in a thin layer of dust and sweat. She was panicking. Trying to get up while others held her down.</p>
<p>Clint glanced over the plaza and spotted a head bob up from a set of stairs that led down into a building's basement. He was moving slow, dazed, and he couldn't be older than 10. Clint held his hand out to the woman, "I see him. Stay here."</p>
<p>He jogged off the lifeboat and crossed the space quickly. His body ached with every step and Clint would be lying if he said he wasn't excited for a bubble bath once they got back home. He reached the kid and gave the boy a wide smile, "Hey! I got you, bud. Let's get you back to mom, huh?"</p>
<p>Clint scooped the kid up with ease and jogged back out into the plaza. The sound of gunfire made him freeze. It was heavy artillery. The kind of machine gun hooked up to the quinjets.</p>
<p>"<em>Get down</em>!" Steve roared from across the plaza.</p>
<p>He watched Thor and Steve dive out of the way as the bullets rained down from the sky destroying everything they touched. Dust and rubble filled the air, and Clint came to the screeching realization that he was in the line of fire. There was a car to his right, the only cover, but it was too far.</p>
<p>The bullets rained closer and Clint realized he made a mistake.</p>
<p>The moment he heard the gunfire he should've sprinted. He should've dove. He should've thrown the kid as far as he could out of the way.</p>
<p>But he didn't.</p>
<p>Clint turned and held the kid tight against his chest in hopes that when the bullets shredded his own body the kid would be okay. He closed his eyes tightly and spoke in hopes that his voice would be heard over the comm line, "<em>Tash, I love you</em>."</p>
<p>He braced for impact, but it didn't come from where he expected. Something hit him in the side hard and shoved him to the right behind the car. Clint's eyes snapped open in shock as silence filled the air.</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck</em>."</p>
<p>Clint whipped around, kid still in his arms, to see Pietro standing beside him with a hole in his calf muscle. The large caliber bullet had torn clean through him and left him bleeding and grunting in pain.</p>
<p>Pietro's eyes met his and he smirked, "Hey, I can officially outrun bullets it seems." He lightly tapped his chest with his open hand. "That makes me fastest man alive, eh? it's a good thing I'm not slow like you, old man."</p>
<p>"<em>Are you insane</em>!?" Clint roared.</p>
<p>Pietro's smile fell in surprise, "<em>I saved your life</em>!"</p>
<p>"You could've gotten yourself <em>killed</em>, kid!" Clint yelled again. There was gratefulness in his chest. Praise and pride and so much gratitude it was suffocating, but it was all buried beneath smothering guilt. Pietro was a step away from dying. If he had been a step slower than he'd have more than just a hole in his calf. The kid could've died, and that blood would've been all over Clint's hands. "That was fucking reckless!"</p>
<p>"<em>Old man</em>!" Pietro limped forward and held a hand up to his ear, "I think you mean to say, '<em>Thank you'</em>!"</p>
<p>"What I meant to say is—"</p>
<p>A loud, distorted electronic cry caught both of them off guard as a drone dropped down from right behind them. Both men whipped around, distracted enough that they could do nothing but panic, when an arrow lodged into the back of the drones head causing it to short and fall to the ground in a heap of broken metal.</p>
<p>"I think you should both say, '<em>Thank you'</em> to <em>me</em>." Kate stood not so far away. She lowered her bow and jogged over. "One, pay attention. Two—" She reared back punched Clint in the arm ignoring his complaints, "—I can't <em>believe</em> you just turned around and accepted death, <em>you ass</em>!"</p>
<p>Clint scoffed, "I'm holding a child!"</p>
<p>"<em>Three</em>!" Kate turned to Pietro this time. "Thank you. <em>Seriously</em>. Without Clint we'd have no one to bully and I think we also be sad or some shit."</p>
<p>The woman glared at Clint one more time before scooping the child away from him and stalking off to a lifeboat. Clint rolled his eyes at her antics while Pietro just stared at her in awe. The archer snapped his fingers a few times in front of Pietro's face, "Hey, stop drooling."</p>
<p>"Who is <em>that</em>?" Pietro asked, still staring.</p>
<p>"Hawkeye." Clint replied.</p>
<p>"I thought you were—"</p>
<p>"Never mind, let's get you to the lifeboat." Clint grumbled and wrapped an around the boy's torso so he could limp easier. Pietro hissed with every step and blood dribbled into the dirt like a trail behind them. Clint swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, not looking the kid in the face, "Thank you. What you did was reckless, but it was <em>brave</em>." He smiled. "It almost reminds me of a <em>courageous</em> Avenger back when he was younger."</p>
<p>Pietro smirked, "Captain America?"</p>
<p>"<em>No, I</em>—"</p>
<p>"Thor?"</p>
<p>"<em>Listen</em>—"</p>
<p>"You can't mean Tony Stark, can you? I like him better, but I do not think I'm ready to be compared to him yet."</p>
<p>Clint jostled the kid stepping over a hole in the ground and Pietro hissed, "I was talking about me, you little shit." Pietro chuckled and Clint couldn't help but join in. God. He was alive. They were both alive. As they reached the lifeboat, he handed the kid off to a few paramedics. "Get some rest, roadrunner."</p>
<p>"Hey, my sister!" Pietro yelled as Clint began to jog off.</p>
<p>"I got her!" He called back then began to hurry towards where Steve was. "Wanda is still—"</p>
<p>Steve shook his head and pushed Clint back, "Vision is out looking for her. We gotta get to the boats. Thor just left to help Tony." They sprinted toward a lifeboat, hearing Tony and Thor over the comms, and Clint had only one foot on the lifeboat when the ground behind him fell out of the sky. He windmilled his arms to try and find balance, but a hand grabbed the front of his armor and yanked him forward.</p>
<p>Clint stumbled into a frowning Natasha, "Oh, hey, babe."</p>
<p>"Can you stop trying to get yourself killed for two seconds?" She snapped. Clint saw a flash of pain in her eyes and he thought back to what he thought was gonna be his last words. He closed the space and pulled her into his chest for a tight hug. Natasha had never been a big fan of displays of affection in front of strangers, but it didn't seem to bother her now. He mumbled an apology and she shook her head, "I thought I lost... <em>Don't</em> you do that, Clint. Don't you <em>ever</em> leave me in a world without you."</p>
<p>Clint pulled back to shoot her a smug smirk, "I told you. Ride or die, Tash, and we still got a <em>lot</em> of ride left."</p>
<p>"We better." She said. Her own lips quirked up into a smirk, "We're definitely adopting the running kid now."</p>
<p>Clint groaned in mock annoyance and she forced him down into a chair as the lifeboats began their ascent back towards the helicarrier. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Vision with Wanda in his arms flying to the lifeboat beside theirs. She looked panicked and worried as he set her down. Without the twins, today would've ended very, <em>very</em> differently.</p>
<p>As it turns out, this Avengers job might just be right up their alley.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>
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    <em>[Countdown: 04:32:43]</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>As far as job offers went, his wasn't the worst. Vincent was offering me money, respect, and a whole other bundle of perks. Even dental. Who would've thought the mob offered dental? It was much better than the job I had with his brother, but it obviously didn't hold a flame to the jobs Tony had given me. Still, the man gave me his spiel on how I would love Las Vegas. How I would love working for him. He was offering me the position of small-time mobster, and the look on his face told me he truly thought I'd say yes. I sat there for a while thinking about it and he kept quiet while I did.</p>
<p>The answer was a no brainer now. <em>Absolutely fucking no</em>. I couldn't help but think about what I would've said a year ago though. If instead of trying to kidnap my concussed ass straight off the street… What if he had just straight up asked me to work for him? I probably would've still told him to fuck off, but if he pressed on… if he gave me this kind of speech…</p>
<p>I don't think I would've said no.</p>
<p>I think Aj of one year ago would've said yes. Hesitantly, at first. Mostly just because New York had nothing for me then, and I would do anything to piss off Boss. So, I would've gone to Vegas with him and then what? Try to escape from him out west?</p>
<p>"What makes you so sure I would want what you're offering?" I asked.</p>
<p>Vincent nodded, "You're a monster. Just like me."</p>
<p>I felt my heart stop at his words. It was the truth I never wanted to think about, never wanted to admit, but hearing it aloud made it very hard to deny. I spent four months with the Avengers trying to prove otherwise. Sam and the others told me repeatedly that I wasn't a monster. That me wanting to do good was enough to prove that. It never fully got rid of the craving that forever sat under my skin and I don't think it ever would.</p>
<p>Deep down, I <em>always</em> wanted a fight. It was a drug and being sober for four months hadn't done anything to curb that desire. Not just fighting in general though. I trained in the gym with Natasha and Clint all the time. I sparred with Sam when he was in town. Hell, I've even sparred with Steve, which was always a struggle, and Tony once. It wasn't the same though. It wasn't the challenge or the activity I craved.</p>
<p>It was the <em>blood lust</em>.</p>
<p>There was some part of me that enjoyed putting fear in my opponent. Some twisted part of me that <em>loved</em> the way it felt when my fists brought forth blood. It scared the shit out of me. It was like this dark version of me sat in the back of my mind and waited and waited until I gave it the opportunity to break free. To run loose.</p>
<p>"I'm not…" I tried to argue, but it was useless. "I don't wanna be a monster."</p>
<p>Vincent gave me a sad look, "That isn't possible. That doesn't change what you are. You can hope and pray all you want. You can do what I did and pretend, but at the end of the day… you'll <em>still</em> be a monster."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "No. I <em>can</em> change. I can—I can get rid of—"</p>
<p>"No, you can't." Vincent snapped. "You can accept that now before people you love end up bloody or you can stay in denial and watch the world show you otherwise. Heed my warning, Aj." It was the first time he used my name. "Don't make the mistake I made."</p>
<p>I turned to face him in confusion, "Why do you give a damn? Why do you care how I end up?"</p>
<p>"Don't confuse my warnings with kindness." Vincent chuckled. "It's not about saving the people you love from yourself." He reached forward to grip my chin with his hand and spoke firmly, "It's about helping you reach your potential. That's what it's <em>always</em> been about. I just know that using the angle<em>, the truth</em>, that your loved ones are going to get hurt by you is the best way to get through your thick skull. Ask me. <em>Ask me again</em>."</p>
<p>He let go of my chin and I asked the same question again, just worded differently, "Why do you want me to work for you?"</p>
<p>"Because I know that I can turn you into a <em>real</em> professional." Vincent grinned in excitement. There was an eagerness in his eyes that scared me. "Eugene wasted <em>all</em> that talent because he's a dumbass. But <em>me</em>? Oh, Aj, <em>darling</em>, I can help you become the pretty little monster you were born to be."</p>
<p>And for one second I saw it.</p>
<p>A world of glamor and crime. I saw me laughing beside Vincent. Flashes of Vegas lights and splattering blood. Guns and drugs. Fights and respect. I saw myself <em>thriving</em>.</p>
<p>If Vincent had taken me a year ago, if he had offered me this world 365 days ago, I would've said yes, and I would've done <em>anything</em> for this man. I wouldn't be his pet or toy. No, I would've been his right-hand man. A partner in his criminal workings. I would've done everything in my power to make him successful and feared, and I would've done it <em>really</em> fucking well.</p>
<p>But that wasn't me anymore.</p>
<p>That wasn't me.</p>
<p>I was the woman who ate wild and sketchy junk foods with Clint while we sat on a bench and people watched the strangers around us. I was the woman who burned through Bruce's book collection and got to listen and learn from him as he talked me through some of his papers. I was the woman who went shopping with Natasha and who got to learn from the assassin how to knit a scarf and fight in stiletto heels. I was the woman who'd suffer and go jogging with Sam when he was in town because he was annoyed with Captain America leaving him in the dust. I was the woman who would drink with Tony when Pepper and Rhodey weren't around and listen to him open up about things he felt he shouldn't say aloud. I was the woman who got to sit in Steve's arms and comfort him about worries, who got to see him relax and not be burdened by responsibilities. I was the woman who made Bucky Barnes laugh.</p>
<p>"Aj, doll, what do you say?" Vincent pressed.</p>
<p>I blinked, back in the moment, and met his eyes, "No."</p>
<p>His face fell, "What?"</p>
<p>"A friend once told me that the thing that separates me from people like Boss an' from people like <em>you</em>—" I met his eyes, "—is that I try to do better. That I try to <em>be</em> better. And, yeah, I fall short a lot. I fuck up a lot, but… he said that as long as I cared enough to change then that made all the difference." I swallowed hard and furrowed my eyebrows in determination, "I know that deep down I'm a monster, but I'm… I'm <em>worthy </em>enough to get an opportunity to change. I <em>deserve</em> the chance to heal an' be better an' I am <em>not</em> gonna let that go."</p>
<p>Vincent clenched his jaw, his eyes hardening, and he scoffed, "Well, that's entirely disappointing to hear."</p>
<p>"Disappointment is my middle name. I tend to make life very difficult for myself." I shrugged in response. "But…down the road, I think it'll be worth it. <em>Probably</em>. I've met some pretty great people walkin' this path so far at the very least."</p>
<p>He gave me an unhappy snort then rose from his seat, "Don't go anywhere. I'll be back. Just need to stretch my legs."</p>
<p>Vincent walked off without another word and I watched him go. Pissing off the dangerous man sitting next to me when we still had about four hours left of this flight probably wasn't the best idea, but those were the only kind of ideas I had these days.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>[Time Elapsed: 03:02:47]</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Steve was ready for a very, very long nap. His body was screaming for him to drop his ass into a seat and pass the hell out. However, the mission wasn't over for him. The mission was never over until he knew where every member of his team was and their status.</p>
<p>Pietro was in the helicarrier's medbay. Fury had enough foresight to stock the room to the brim with supplies and bring along plenty of medics to work on the injured. Wanda was in there with her brother and both of them were doing well. The boy had a hole in his leg the size of a golf ball, but he was nothing but smiles and jokes. Granted, Steve was pretty sure that was just the pain meds working.</p>
<p>Vision wasn't on the helicarrier at all. Rather, he was still outside doing one final sweep to find any Ultron stragglers.</p>
<p>Coulson, May, Hunter, and Bobbi had taken their quinjet right back to Greece in hopes to catch back up with Strucker. The chances of him still being in the area were slim to none, but they were willing to make the trip out there just to double check.</p>
<p>Fitzsimmons, Mac, Daisy, and Kate stuck around on the helicarrier to help with clean up. Simmons was in the medbay helping treat people while Fitz worked on repairs on the deck where a drone had crashed through the front windshield straight into a cluster of computers. Daisy, Kate, and Mac on the other hand were in the underbelly of the helicarrier trying to help civilians get settled until they could land in a safe zone and get them situated.</p>
<p>Tony and Thor had finally made it back to the quinjet. Tony was bruised and battered, his suit broken enough to be sparking in some place, and Thor was soaking wet from where he had fallen straight into a lake with the debris of Sokovia. Now, Tony was parked on the upper deck annoying Nick Fury while also complaining about the lack of a mid-flight meal. Thor, on the other hand, had found an empty row of seats in a hall and passed out right there snoring loud enough to startle anyone turning the corner.</p>
<p>Clint had been a little more difficult to find. Steve assumed with the trauma of almost losing one another that he would be right by Natasha's side, but instead the archer had found a railing and perched himself there on the phone. Meanwhile, the redhead was in the process of trying to find the one team member that Steve couldn't place.</p>
<p>Bruce Banner.</p>
<p>The Hulk had been the one that stopped Ultron from firing onto the crowd. That was the last Steve saw of him. He had ripped the AI right out of the cockpit, but then the quinjet disappeared out of sight. Bruce still hadn't returned.</p>
<p>"Any news?" Steve walked back over to Natasha who was staring at a dark screen with a troubled look on her tired features.</p>
<p>"The quinjet is in stealth mode. I connected to it, told Hulk to turn it off but…"</p>
<p>Steve furrowed his brows, "So we can't find him?"</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "He turned off the communicator. I can't even get back in touch with him." She crossed her arms. "Steve, I'm worried."</p>
<p>"He went through a lot. I'm sure he just needs a little time." Steve said slowly. He couldn't deny that he wasn't as worried as she was. Based on the look Natasha shot him, she didn't buy his cool and collected demeanor. He sighed and rested a hand on her shoulder, "Go get some rest, Nat. Be with Clint."</p>
<p>"Do you plan on getting any of this so called rest?" Natasha replied with a raised eyebrow.</p>
<p>Steve chuckled and watched her stroll away. He unfasted the suit around his neck so his collar hung loose and gave him room to breathe. Steve crossed the busy helicarrier deck to where Nick Fury was half focused on a map on a screen.</p>
<p>"Captain." He greeted. "Figured you'd look more like Thor at the moment."</p>
<p>"No one can pass out as quick as Thor after a mission." Steve replied then shrugged, "Well, Clint, I guess, but he seems preoccupied right now." Fury chuckled under his breath at the comment and the look in his one eye made Steve feel like he was missing out on some secret. That's usually how he felt around Fury though so it was nothing new. "Where are we taking the civilians?"</p>
<p>Fury motioned to the map, "There's a city over that mountain ridge. Large enough to have multiple hospitals for our injured and we're in the process of getting a system set up down there that will help relocate everyone we have aboard."</p>
<p>Steve nodded in approval, "Good. Is our quinjet aboard?"</p>
<p>"You ready to head out?" Fury questioned.</p>
<p>"No, we need to help get everyone settled. I just wanted my phone." Steve answered. He was hoping he could call and speak to her or at the very least he would have a missed call from her. He needed to get back in touch with Sam too just to make sure his friend got back state side with no trouble.</p>
<p>Fury chuckled, "Trying to get home to your girl?"</p>
<p>Steve felt the corner of his lip quirk up and he nodded, "Uh, yeah, something like that."</p>
<p>"You Avengers head home." Fury turned back to his screens, "We have enough hands on deck. Really you'd only get in the way."</p>
<p>"Fury—"</p>
<p>"You heard, patchy the pirate." Tony spoke up. The man had broken skin around his eye that was still lightly bleeding. It looked like it was beginning to bruise as well. He walked over to them still in his suit. Steve shot him a curious look and Tony motioned to the side that was dented to all hell. "I'm stuck in it until I get my gear on the quinjet to pry myself out."</p>
<p>Steve turned back to Fury, "Are you sure?"</p>
<p>"He is. He's wearing his '<em>for sure'</em> face. Now come on." Tony cut in.</p>
<p>Steve really didn't need any further pressing than that. He reached out to shake Fury's hand once before turning to thank Maria Hill as well. She gave him a tight smile before returning to the phone call she was on. The look on her face told him she was probably arguing with some government official.</p>
<p>When he went to leave, he spotted Tony waiting for him by the door with his helmet in hand. Tony had the helmet held up to his head though so he could speak into it without actually putting it on.</p>
<p>"FRIDAY, call again."</p>
<p>Steve shot him a curious look as they began to walk down the hall and the only sound between them was the ringing of a line that wasn't being picked up. Tony had a concerned look on his face that he didn't understand until the phone went to voicemail.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey, it's Aj! Sorry I missed your call. Just leave me</em>—"</p>
<p>Tony lowered his helmet, "That's the third time I've called her and got nothing."</p>
<p>A pang of worry hit him like a well-aimed punch. They picked up their pace and as they passed a snoring Thor, Steve shook him hard once. The god rolled off the chairs onto the floor with a groan, "Huh?"</p>
<p>"We're leaving and Aj's not answering her phone." Steve called out.</p>
<p>The tone alone was what got Thor to his feet. The three men stormed down the hall and people scrambled to get out of their way. When they reached the outer deck they spotted Natasha and Clint speaking to Vision.</p>
<p>Natasha spotted them, "He got rid of the last shred of Ultron." Her eyes narrowed as they got closer, "What's going on?"</p>
<p>"Aj isn't answering her phone." Tony replied and pushed past them to get to the quinjet.</p>
<p>"She's fine!" Clint cut in and everyone froze to look at him. The archer shrugged, "She, uh, she's okay."</p>
<p>Tony backpedaled and pointed at him, "Then why are you saying it like that?"</p>
<p>Clint groaned and motioned to the jet, "How about we get in the air? It's kind of a long story."</p>
<p>Steve didn't like that answer and he had a feeling he was going to like this long story even less. As they loaded up, Vision offered to stay behind and continue to help where he could. Steve trusted the odd man enough now to not be concerned by the statement. Wanda and Pietro stayed on the helicarrier as well. Pietro couldn't be moved until they got to a hospital and Wanda wasn't going to leave his side.</p>
<p>"So", Clint swiveled around in the pilot's seat after he got the quinjet into the air and on course for New York. "Before you yell at me about rule number 4—" Steve groaned, and Tony cursed under his breath. Clint held his hands out, "<em>I said before you yell at me about it</em>! Listen, with the circumstances I'm claiming <em>executive action</em>. The rule was broken for the safety of the group, and quite frankly the world."</p>
<p>Steve knew the mission had been rough and they had some really tight spots to squeeze through. He nodded his head but crossed his arms. He could promise not to yell, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to be pissed about whatever came next.</p>
<p>"Aj was never at the compound."</p>
<p>Tony groaned and pressed his thumb and finger to the pressure point between his eyes as his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, "Well, where the hell was she?"</p>
<p>Clint hesitated then sighed, "Romania."</p>
<p>Steve's eyes widened. Had Sam taken her with him without telling them? He doubted it. Sam wouldn't do that to him. He knew his friend had to know how much Steve wouldn't want her there just in case Bucky was more Winter Soldier than James Buchanan Barnes. Steve couldn't risk that.</p>
<p>"Look, I know you have questions, and I don't have a lot of answers." Clint stood from the pilot chair. "Aj deserves to be able to tell her side of this anyways. She's on her way back to New York right now according to Daisy and Kate—"</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, "How do they know this?"</p>
<p>Steve's heart stopped as he remembered Coulson mentioning that Daisy and her team had lost track of Vincent Morgan before coming to Sokovia and that he was going to get a new team on him as soon as possible. He stepped forward, "Barton?"</p>
<p>Clint nodded, "Yeah. Daisy had been following Vincent."</p>
<p>"One of the men after Aj?" Thor demanded. "He was in Romania as well?"</p>
<p>Steve's gaze hardened, "Clint. <em>Is she okay</em>?"</p>
<p>"She is now." He nodded.</p>
<p>"What the hell do you mean she is <em>now</em>?" He snapped back.</p>
<p>Natasha stepped forward, "Clint caught me up to speed not long ago. What we know is this—" She glanced around the room. "—Aj has been in Romania, Daisy followed Vincent there, an…<em>incident</em> happened, and Clint sent Kate to Romania to find Aj just in case Daisy couldn't."</p>
<p>"<em>Define incident</em>." Tony growled.</p>
<p>"She was shot in the shoulder." Clint said quickly. Steve stiffened, but the archer followed it up, "But she really is fine. Kate said she had the bullet was removed, she was put in a sling, and she'll get back to New York almost around the same time we do if I count right. She might be an hour ahead of us to getting home."</p>
<p>Steve scoffed, "<em>Fine</em>? She was shot, Clint! How is—"</p>
<p>"She found Bucky." Clint said.</p>
<p>It was probably the <em>only</em> phrase that could stop him mid-rant the way it did. Aj found Bucky. What Bucky had she found though? God, was the bullet somehow the Winter Soldier's fault? He hadn't shot her had he? Steve didn't know his best friend's mental state, but he knew that a clear-headed Bucky would be <em>devastated </em>at the news that he hurt the young woman.</p>
<p>"She…<em>What</em>?" Steve replied dumbly.</p>
<p>"Kate said she found Bucky. They had been together since Vincent started a gunfight in a park. Maybe even a little before potentially." Clint replied and Steve felt his lungs fill with relieved air. The thought of Aj being shot was heart stopping, but knowing it wasn't Bucky's fault helped immensely. "By time Kate and Daisy got to Aj though, Bucky had bailed. Left her in the airport."</p>
<p>Tony shook his head while Thor looked between Steve and him, "Hold on, hold on, rewind. She went after the Terminator? <em>Alone</em>?"</p>
<p>"Look, we told you what we know." Natasha replied softly. "Yes, Aj owes us answers about what made her think this impromptu trip was a good idea, but…" She offered them a small smile, "She's safe. She's on her way home, it sounds like the bullet did no permanent damage, and now with whatever info she gathered we might be a step closer to finding and <em>keeping</em> Bucky."</p>
<p>Steve let go of the small ball of anger that was gathering in his chest. Natasha was right. Tony continued to argue lightly as the redhead continued to try and mollify him. Steve dropped down into a seat and let his exhaustion settle on him. Aj was okay. He wouldn't fully accept it until he saw her with his own eyes, but she was safe at the moment and that would have to do. Steve had no idea what pushed her to think she needed to go after Bucky, but if she had found him then Steve wasn't sure he could be angry about that. She was safe and she had seen Bucky. From the sounds of it, they had spent time together. That had to be a good sign for his friend's mental state.</p>
<p>The air in the quinjet began to relax as everyone settled to rest. There was no reason to be angry. What happened had happened and everything had ended okay. Would Aj get five separate lectures when they got back to the Compound? Oh, absolutely. He was pretty positive that Tony or Clint were mentally working through plans on how to ground a 26-year-old woman. Steve smiled to himself as he leaned his head back against the quinjet wall. Thor was passed out on the cot in the corner snoring again and for the first time ever, he found the sound soothing.</p>
<p>His trash fire family was okay. They were all safe.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>[Countdown: 00:46:37]</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Vincent stopped at my row and looked down at me. I had moved so I was sitting in the aisle seat now. He cleared his throat and I looked up at him, "I'm not gonna lie, man, I was kinda hopin' you fell off the plane."</p>
<p>"Move your legs." He said.</p>
<p>I squinted in annoyance and shifted my legs so he could go down the row and sit in the seat by the window. He had disappeared for four hours and it worried me. Having him sitting beside me gave me a peek into what he might do next. Him just disappearing? That left me vulnerable. It didn't help that I was both drunk and hungover at the same time. I rubbed my forehead, a headache lingering behind my eyes, and groaned, "Where the hell were you?"</p>
<p>"Told you I needed to stretch my legs." He smirked. "Plus, I fucked the stewardess."</p>
<p>"God, I wished I hadn't asked." I mumbled. He could just be joking, but the mental picture was disgusting all the same. The clock was winding down, daylight peeked through the partly shut window where Vincent sat. The pilot had already announced our initial descent. Worry and fear clawed up my throat. Doing the math in my head, the fight was probably long over. I'd be landing around 7 in the morning and walking into a world where Ultron was dead or my friends were. The world hadn't ended and killed me mid-flight so that probably meant they won, but what did it cost?</p>
<p>Vincent hummed, "Potential down the fucking drain."</p>
<p>"I figured you'd still be poutin' 'bout that." I replied. I shifted and leaned over to I could shut the window the rest of the way. The light hurt my eyes. He chuckled and I glared at him, "We're in the last leg of this flight. You owe me an answer."</p>
<p>He had the audacity to shrug, "Answer to what?"</p>
<p>"<em>Who saved me</em>?" I asked. "Who stopped you from kidnapping me?"</p>
<p>Vincent smirked and crossed his legs, "I don't know." I glared at him and he shook his head, "I really don't. Guy wouldn't tell me."</p>
<p>I knew he wasn't going to make this easy for me. With a slow breath, I bit back my agitation, "Please tell me what happened that night, Vincent."</p>
<p>He held my gaze for a moment then scoffed, "We followed you out. Kept a distance at first. Had to get out of Eugene's territory just in case. You got out onto the street, down from your apartment, and we swooped in. I grabbed you then…" Vincent shook his head. "Guy came out of nowhere. Took out my man then held me at gunpoint. Told me to let you go or he'd <em>blow my head clean off</em>."</p>
<p>The statement only confused me more.</p>
<p>"I wanted you, but not enough to get myself killed." Vincent shrugged. "I tossed you aside and bailed."</p>
<p>"What did he look like? Who was he?" I shook my head desperately.</p>
<p>"Mean looking son of a bitch. Tall, built like a fucking tank, and beat to all hell. Looked like shit. Busted cheekbone, black eye, broken nose." Vincent replied. "And like I said, I don't know who he was."</p>
<p>I scoffed, "You didn't think to ask?!"</p>
<p>"Of course, I asked." Vincent spat out. "Asshole didn't give me a name. Said some dumb shit and carried you off." I shot him a look and Vincent rolled his eyes, "Called himself your <em>guardian angel</em>."</p>
<p>My guardian angel? I couldn't think of a single person who would go out of their way back then to save me from Vincent. Let alone threaten to kill the guy for me. I closed my eyes, my head still throbbing, and I tried to pull myself back to that night. What happened after I threw up in the alley? I knew the path home from there and I could put myself onto the path.</p>
<p>No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't clearly remember a thing. However, there was one new thing. A small moment. Swaying. I had been swaying back and forth. Someone had been carrying me. The streetlight came from behind his head, dark features hidden, and he had a deep voice. Guttural.</p>
<p>"I…I don't know who that…" I mumbled and opened my eyes back up. "I don't understand who'd…"</p>
<p>I was at a loss for words. Someone had saved my life and I hadn't even known it. If mystery man hadn't stopped Vincent I would've gone down a very, very dark path. One I might not have been able to come back from. The phrase '<em>Guardian Angel'</em> seemed gaudy. The last five years of my life wouldn't make anyone think I had an angel on my shoulder, but this was… this was <em>world shaking</em>. Someone had cared enough to save me back when I thought no one gave a single damn about my existence.</p>
<p>
  <em>Who the hell had saved my life?</em>
</p>
<p>"I thought about coming back for you some other day." Vincent dragged me out of my head. "But things got a little messy in Vegas. Had to deal with the home front."</p>
<p>The plane shook and then a minute later I felt the wheels touch down. My eyes darted to Vincent nervously. He glanced at me and smiled which did nothing for my nerves. I nodded once, "So? Now what? Should I prep for a fight?"</p>
<p>"Aren't you always prepped for one?" Vincent chuckled. There was a beat, and then he shook his head, "Nothing. You get off this plane, I get off this plane, and we go our separate ways."</p>
<p>"Excuse me if I don't take your word for it." I replied.</p>
<p>Vincent smirked, "What? Don't trust me?" We just stared at one another as the plane slowed. He chuckled, "I'm not my brother. You'd need to want this as much as I want this for you. Otherwise we both just waste our time."</p>
<p>"Strucker won't be happy with you."</p>
<p>"That's a plus for me." Vincent shrugged. "I love pissing off that kraut bastard."</p>
<p>"I'm sure he loves <em>that</em> adorable nickname." I mumbled. "So just like that? I don't see you ever again?"</p>
<p>Vincent shook his head and leaned toward me, "Oh, I hope that's not true. See, I think one day you're gonna get tired of trying to be someone you're not, and when you do..." He winked at me. "You know where I am."</p>
<p>The plane parked and people began to stand up behind us. The row I was in was close to the door. We'd be one of the first ones off the plane after first class. I grabbed my bookbag and set it in my lap.</p>
<p>"I'm not gonna let the world take from me." I said to him and his smug smile faltered. "I'm sorry 'bout your wife, but that doesn't change anythin'. You're a bastard an' I refuse to become you. I refuse to hurt others to make myself happy. The world might try to take from me, hurt people I love, but <em>I won't let it</em>. Even if that means I have to go to war with myself."</p>
<p>The people in the rows right ahead of us began to file out. I stood up and noticed that Vincent hadn't moved. Right before it was my turn to leave, his hand snatched out to grab my wrist. I tensed in panic as the row behind me began to go ahead of me.</p>
<p>He squeezed my wrist once, deathly serious, "They won't stop coming for you. You and your sister."</p>
<p>"My sister? <em>Aubrey</em>?" I asked in shock. "Why—?"</p>
<p>"I don't know why, but I know Strucker wants the two of you bad. <em>Real</em> bad." Vincent shook his head. "I also know if he gets his hands on you… it won't end well. HYDRA doesn't want you dead and I think that's worse." I pulled my hand away and nodded once. His smile came back, but it didn't fill his features like before. Vincent snapped his fingers and pointed at me, "Tell your SHIELD dogs to get off my dick."</p>
<p>I cut into the flow of traffic and hurried toward the exit while Vincent stayed seated on the plane letting other people off. The moment I was in the portable hallway connecting the plane to the terminal I began to root around in my bag while walking. My phone was in here somewhere and I needed to put it together. I needed to call someone. Anyone.</p>
<p>My feet hit solid ground and a sense of jittery panic overwhelmed me. There had to be a TV around here somewhere too. Would they be showing the aftermath on the news? I glanced up from my shaking hands that were unsuccessfully looking for the tiny ass sim card I had pulled out, and my eyes landed on Sam.</p>
<p>He stood a few feet away with his arms crossed. Sam had on his dark brown leather jacket over jeans and a t-shirt. He looked tired and worried. I stumbled toward him and Sam met me hallway.</p>
<p>"<em>Sam</em>?" I cried. "Sam, are they—? Did they—? <em>The others</em>?"</p>
<p>"They're <em>fine</em>, Aj. Few cuts and bruises, but everyone is fine. They're on their way home right now." Sam answered my unfinished questions. He reached out to hold my arms and he was probably the only reason why I wasn't a puddle on the ground. "<em>Everybody is safe</em>."</p>
<p>A cry slipped from my lips and I felt warm tears fall down my face in relief. Sam pulled me into a hug, and I melted into his arms. I was drunk, hungover, exhausted, and jetlagged. I was also incredibly, incredibly relieved. My family was safe for another day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: As it turns out I was able to write and study so you guys aren't gonna be stuck without an update! Lemme know what you think!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"I saw the sadness in your eyes but I didn't know what to say. I couldn't think of anything to say that would take your pain away so I kept on saying in my head, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry'." –unknown</em>
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<p>"Are you sure you're alright?"</p>
<p>Sam asking me if I was okay every fifteen minutes reminded me so much of when Bucky did the same that I nearly fell apart in his passenger seat. I prided myself on being more collected with the emotional responses I showed, but right now I felt frayed to all hell. My mind was scattered into a million places, with a million different thoughts, and I was somehow feeling every emotion known to man all at once.</p>
<p>"Yeah." I said, and if Sam noticed how my voice cracked he didn't mention it. He was driving me back to the Compound now. We left the car I drove to the airport at the airport, it'd probably be fine, and Sam had made a good point when he said I wasn't in the mindset to be driving safely. The last place I needed to be was behind a wheel right now. Plus, I also didn't have a valid driver's license still, but that didn't seem worth mentioning. "I'm sorry, Sam."</p>
<p>He chuckled, "Yeah, you said that."</p>
<p>"I really mean it though." My voice strained with exasperation. "I didn't want to lie to you, send you to the wrong side of Romania, but…"</p>
<p>As much as I wanted to tell Sam the entire truth, that I had been talking to Bucky non-stop the past few months, it didn't feel right to tell him first. The first person who deserved to know about that was Steve. I had waited too long to share the news, but I wasn't going to mess up the priority of who got to hear first.</p>
<p>"The others know about you being in Romania. They know Vincent shot you. They know you found Bucky." Sam said and I stiffened. His next question came out breathless, "What happened, Aj?" Quietly, I told him the spark notes version. I had found Bucky, Vincent had found me, it ended badly, and then Bucky left. <em>He just left</em>. "He left you in the airport <em>alone</em>? Even after what happened with Vincent?"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "He knew Daisy and Kate were right behind us. I was alone for all of six minutes." Sam mumbled something about that not being good enough. My bottom lip quivered. "I wanted to bring him home, Sam."</p>
<p>Sam sighed, "I know, honey. <em>I know</em>. That isn't on you. You know that, right? Bucky Barnes made his choice. I don't want to ask, but… Did he hurt you?"</p>
<p>"Huh?" I turned in confusion.</p>
<p>Sam glanced over to meet my eyes, "Bucky. <em>The Soldier</em>. How…present was he? Did he hurt you?"</p>
<p>"No, <em>never</em>." I said firmly. "Bucky was… He was Bucky. The only Bucky I know, at least. I spent his birthday with him. It was… <em>It was fun</em>. I thought I was close to convincing him to come home with me, but then I got shot by Vincent's guy or—or one of the cops in the crossfire, I don't know."</p>
<p>Sam shook his head, "Well, don't worry about it. We'll find Bucky again." That I wasn't so sure of. "And as for Vincent, we're gonna find that son of a bitch too."</p>
<p>"Oh, he was on the plane with me."</p>
<p>The car nearly swerved off the road when Sam whipped to look at me. I had to grab the door handle with my right hand to steady myself. Sam cried out in a mix of alarm and disbelief, "<em>What</em>!?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, he got on the plane with me before we left Romania. I spent the flight talking to him." I said plainly while Sam's head swiveled from the road back to me repeatedly. "It was—It was <em>weird</em>. I don't think he's a problem anymore..."</p>
<p>Sam shook his head, "What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"He wanted me to work for him. I said no, and he was pissed about it, but he said he knew he couldn't force me. That what he wanted wouldn't work without me wanting it." I shrugged then flinched at the sharp pain that came from the movement. "He said he'd leave me alone, but…"</p>
<p>"But what?"</p>
<p>"Vincent said HYDRA was after <em>both</em> of us." I said softly. "Me and my sister, Sam. Strucker never told Vincent why, but for some Godforsaken reason that Strucker guy wants Aubrey too."</p>
<p>Sam was queit and I assumed he was thinking over the information I had delivered to him. The Aubrey thing truly was a turn of events that I don't think anyone saw coming. Last I checked, Granny was still watching her kids in Alabama which was suspicious. Why hadn't Aubrey gone home yet? She couldn't possibly know HYDRA was after her… could she?</p>
<p>That issue was one of the many I currently had banging around on the inside of my skull begging to be dealt with. HYDRA wanted Aubrey as much as me. Some stranger, a guardian angel, saved my life before I had even known that my life was worth saving. Bucky was gone, with no way to contact him now, and Steve still didn't know about anything concerning his long lost best friend. And Tony… Oh, God, <em>Tony</em>. My stomach flipped and nausea washed through me at the thought of what Bucky had told me.</p>
<p>Again, I wanted to confide in Sam. Talking to him always made things so clear in my mind. The man excelled at taking the tangled ball of yarn my thoughts were and straightening them out for me to fully understand, but I couldn't tell him about the Tony topic for the same reason I couldn't talk to him about the Steve situation. Tony had to know first. It's what I would want if I were in his shoes.</p>
<p>We sat in silence, but it was a comfortable one. I dozed off once, and not for very long, but when I blinked my tired eyes open I could see the Compound coming up ahead of us. Not being in the rush I had been last time I came here, I could appreciate it this time. Tony had spared no expense, and the people he hired to build this made his vision really come to life.</p>
<p>The land was beautiful in itself. Thick forests surrounded the border of the campus and there was a large lake that covered the east side before stretching out to the north. At the center of all this land, was the Compound itself. Despite not exploring inside of it yet, I still knew every nook and cranny of this place. As the person who double checked all the design work for Tony it couldn't be helped.</p>
<p>The right side of it was more work based. A large, five story building rose from the ground with a large stretch of asphalt jutting out from the bottom as a landing zone for quinjets and other planes. Beyond that was a track set up for outdoor training. The first and second floor were mostly combined, and it was made up of a hanger and prep rooms for gear and mission prep along with the largest training room. The third floor had some smaller gym spaces with conference rooms and a large block of public labs. The fourth and fifth floor were office spaces.</p>
<p>On the third floor, however, was a sky bridge that connected the work building to the recreational half of the Compound. This building was the same height, but it stretched out much further. The first two floors of this building were public spaces like the cafeteria, auditorium, medical station, and things of that nature. The third floor, where the sky bridge was connected, opened up into a small bit of public space but the majority of that floor was built for the Avengers. It had Tony and Bruce's private labs, the private medical bay, and a large communal living space with kitchen and necessities. Also, on the third floor, connected to the communal living space, were the dorms. Tony had designed around 10 dorm rooms that sat on this floor for future trainees and new Avengers. Stark was always looking to the future. The dorms were smaller than the full-sized apartments but still nice. Each one was made up of a large bedroom, built in closet, and a connecting private bathroom.</p>
<p>The floors above this, four and five, were the full apartments just like at the Tower. There were five medium sized apartments on the fourth floor and two large ones that made up the entirety of the fifth floor. Tony claimed one of those larger apartments for him and Pepper while the other still hadn't been decided on. I always assumed Clint and Natasha would claim it since they lived together. That left Bruce, Steve, Thor, Sam, and I on the fourth floor. None of this was written in stone, mind you, but it's what Tony and I had in mind when we were designing.</p>
<p>Plus, there was always room for more growth.</p>
<p>"Tony really doesn't do things halfway, does he?" Sam hummed after being scanned at the security gate and then let in. The road from here would take him straight to the underground parking garage beneath the recreational building. I chuckled at his words and Sam shot me a smile, "I still think my favorite part of this place is the '<em>rent free'</em> thing. Befriending a billionaire has it's perks."</p>
<p>I laughed, "You can say that again. Having you actual live here though is gonna feel weird though. Aren't you gonna miss DC?"</p>
<p>"Yeah." Sam nodded in thought. "But I couldn't keep doing things sitting on the fence. If I wanna be more than a part-time, <em>sort of</em> Avenger than I need to dedicate."</p>
<p>"Hmm." I hummed. "Maybe Tony will make you live in one of the dorms instead of the apartments. Since you're a trainee and all."</p>
<p>Sam scoffed, "I dare him to try. I've <em>earned</em> one of those apartments. Putting up with the Avengers' crazy asses for this long."</p>
<p>He parked the car then helped me out, taking my bag from me, and we both got into the elevator. Sam said the Avengers were still about an hour out from here and that the best thing I could do was get some sleep before they showed up to raise a little hell. I let Sam get out on the third floor so he could make some calls and then I rode up to the fourth floor.</p>
<p>I stepped out and walked down the hall to the apartment Tony had claimed for me as my own. The moment I pushed the bright red door open I caught sight of the duffel bag I had carelessly thrown in three days ago. I dropped my bookbag onto the dark wood floor right beside it. The silence in the room around me was nearly suffocating.</p>
<p>The apartment layout was different from the one I had grown used to. The front door opened into a small foyer that opened up into the main living space. The room was shaped like a wedge with the smallest end coming out from the foyer. The kitchen was nestled to my left with modern appliances and an island counter, beyond that was a space where a dining table could sit, to the right was a living room set up where couches would be, and a TV could be placed. The back wall of this wedge was made entirely of glass with a glass screen door in the middle that opened up onto a large balcony that wrapped around the wedge-shaped room.</p>
<p>I knew the door past the kitchen to the left would lead to an office space that I'd probably rarely use, and the door across the room on the other side of the wedge led into the master bedroom. The bedroom was the only room in this apartment that had any furniture at the moment. From here, I could actually hear the bed calling out to me. Begging for me to fall into the sheets and sleep for days.</p>
<p>I couldn't though. Not yet.</p>
<p>Slowly, I crossed the room to go out onto the balcony. I didn't have a view of the lake from where my apartment sat, and I wondered if Tony did that on purpose. I had never told him that I preferred not to, but he said he designed and picked this spot specifically with me in mind. It wouldn't be the first time Tony noticed a detail about me without me having to voice it aloud.</p>
<p>I leaned against the railing with my right arm and let my mind zone out as I waited.</p>
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<p>The hospital was loud, and thoughts were panicked. It was a storm of worry and a dizzying amount of fear. Wanda felt smothered by it. Every distressed cell in her brain begging to get clear of the area, but she would lose her mind before leaving her brother's side.</p>
<p>Pietro was lying in the hospital bed cursing in Sokovian and mumbling complaints under his breath about the hole in his calf. It was music to Wanda's ears. She had been so close to losing her brother. If he had been a second slower, hesitated a moment more, than she'd be alone in this world. Wanda wasn't entirely sure that was something she could survive. Pietro was her rock. Wanda never had much growing up, and after losing their parents, Pietro was now all she had period.</p>
<p>"<em>Stop picking at it</em>." Wanda scolded.</p>
<p>"<em>It hurts</em>." Pietro whined in annoyance. She could feel his pain and irritation and boredom. Her brother wanted to be up and moving. Being stuck to a hospital bed was a nightmare for him.</p>
<p>Wanda rolled her eyes but flinched when a startingly loud terror slipped through her defense and invaded her mind. A woman down the hall was fearful about her son who was going into emergency surgery. She shoved the intrusive thought out quickly, and Pietro reached out to grab her hand. Wanda turned to look at him and he squeezed her hand once, "<em>Focus on my mind</em>."</p>
<p>It was a trick they learned helped in crowded places. When Wanda was too tired or the surroundings were too hectic for her to filter out, if she just focused all her energy on her brother's mind it would keep things at bay. She followed his emotions and let them consume her. Exhaustion from the fight. Relief from being alive and safe. Love for her. Curiosity on the purple clad Hawkeye woman.</p>
<p>Wanda chuckled, "<em>Does someone have a crush</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>Ah, I told you to focus on my mind so you can relax, not so you can pick out my secrets</em>." Pietro complained, but his wide grin offset the annoyed words.</p>
<p>"<em>As loud as it's being screamed, it's hardly a secret, brother</em>." Wanda grinned. She leaned forward and kept her hand in his. "<em>Don't you think you're a little young for her at 17</em>?"</p>
<p>Pietro shook his head, determined, "<em>I'm 18</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>You're 18 in three months. Our birthday hasn't come yet</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Same difference. Besides, I like older women</em>." Pietro winked and Wanda laughed loudly at the statement. She pushed her own thoughts at him, mocking him for having a specific taste despite never having a girlfriend or boyfriend before. Pietro scoffed at her, "<em>Bullying me when I have a hole in my leg is cruel. Besides, she can't be much older anyways. Maybe 19</em>?"</p>
<p>Wanda smiled warmly at him, "<em>Of course. How dare I try to spit on true love in such a harsh way. I support you entirely.</em>"</p>
<p>Pietro raised an eyebrow at her, "<em>I like all the words you're saying, but I hate the tone</em>." He shifted in bed then flinched in pain, "<em>Fucking damn it</em>."</p>
<p>Wanda lit her hand up and the heat of the red glow made Pietro cry out in surprise, "<em>Language</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Yeah, yeah, ok, mother</em>."</p>
<p>The two sat in a comfortable silence for a little while longer before a doctor came in to care for them. There wasn't much they could do except clean out the wound and bandage it while hoping for the best. A doctor in the medic bay on the large ship that had picked them up, a woman named Simmons, had told them that the Avengers knew a doctor who could perhaps do more for them though. Wanda knew she meant Dr. Cho, and she prayed that the woman wouldn't hold what they helped Ultron with against them. She had broken Ultron's spell over Dr. Cho. Hopefully, that would be enough to make asking her for help plausible.</p>
<p>While the doctor worked on Pietro, she ducked into the bathroom off to the side to use the small shower. It wasn't much but it was still better than what she was accustomed to. Pietro and her were never able to afford very much after they lost their parents, and once they offered themselves to Strucker they were treated more like prisoners.</p>
<p>She washed the dust and dirt from her body and took inventory of her own injuries. There was a wound at the end of her left eyebrow. The blood was matted into the hair there and it hurt to rub it all free. Wanda had a variety of bruises all over her body, but that was the worst of it. She had come out of the firefight well.</p>
<p>After dressing back into her old clothes, having nothing else, and braiding her damp hair back she stepped out to see the doctor had been replaced by the woman Pietro had on his mind. The dark-haired woman turned to give her a broad smile while the golden dog that sat by her leg began to wag his tail.</p>
<p>"Wanda, this is Kate. Kate, this is my sister Wanda." Pietro introduced. He had on a plain shirt and sweatpants now so the doctor must have helped him before leaving.</p>
<p>Kate held her hand out and Wanda shook it, "Hiya! I just wanted to swing by and thank your brother again. If it weren't for him, my mentor and good friend would just be a beloved memory."</p>
<p>"It's nice to meet you." Wanda nodded and went back to her seat. It would be a lie to say that she wasn't still wary of the people around her. SHIELD had helped them. SHIELD and the Avengers had saved the world, saved a majority of the people of Sokovia, but Wanda feared that they wouldn't look upon her or her brother in favor.</p>
<p>For all she knew, they were waiting for Pietro to be checked out of the hospital so they could arrest them. They could stick the twins in a prison to rot the rest of their lives or worse use them as Strucker had as an experiment and study. Wanda liked the people she had met during the fight. She liked the Avengers for the most part. However, Wanda would burn down the world and anyone who tried to touch her brother, or take him from her, without hesitation.</p>
<p>The dog by Kate's side wandered over to sit beside her. Wanda looked to him as the dog stared at her expectantly. She chuckled and reached out to pet his head making his tail go crazy in excitement like before.</p>
<p>"Lucky is an attention hog." Kate joked while looking at the dog.</p>
<p>"Hmm, I know the kind." Wanda replied while looking to her brother. Kate laughed at that and Pietro whined in response. She turned back to the woman, "How old are you, Kate?"</p>
<p>Kate leaned against the end of her brother's bed, "Oh, I'm 20. 21 in December this year. How old are you guys?"</p>
<p>"17." "18." The twins replied at the same time.</p>
<p>Pietro rolled his eyes, "Okay, okay, soon to be 18. <em>Very soon</em>. I've always been told that I am mature for my age."</p>
<p>"<em>You're mixed up. The word they use is immature, brother</em>." Wanda said in Sokovian.</p>
<p>Pietro shot her a look before turning to Kate with a wide grin, "Anyways, what were we talking about before my <em>little</em> sister interrupted us?"</p>
<p>Wanda chuckled under her breath at the dig he made at their 12-minute age difference. She nestled into the seat and listened to the two of them talk while her fingers combed through Lucky's soft fur.</p>
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<p>Steve liked the Compound better than the Tower. He knew the Brooklyn boy in him would miss the city, but there was something about living in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nature that he liked a lot. Especially now. Here the Avengers were secluded. Away from prying eyes and out of the way.</p>
<p>By time the quinjet landed, everyone's spirits had lifted. The well needed rest had done wonders and the time to think over everything calmed them significantly too. So much, in fact, that they were able to calmly come up with a schedule of when and what order they would be lecturing Aj. It was probably the most organized the Avengers had ever been on a non-mission matter.</p>
<p>Tony had given half-hearted directions before saying he was going to his lab while on the phone with Pepper. Unsurprsingly, his non-chalant hand motions had done nothing to help them navigate the space they found themselves in. While glancing around the hanger, looking for the new locker room to drop off gear, Sam strolled in through a side door with a welcoming grin.</p>
<p>"Well, you guys look like shit." Sam called out.</p>
<p>"I know I am, but <em>what are you</em>?" Clint retaliated quickly only to suddenly pause at his own words, "Wait, I don't think that's what I wanted to say."</p>
<p>Natasha patted the side of his face, in more pity than love, and dragged him away after giving Sam a quick hug. Steve held his hand out with a grin of his own. Sam clasped it and dragged him into a hug.</p>
<p>"How was Sokovia? I hear it's nice this time of year."</p>
<p>"It was…<em>something</em>." Steve chuckled with a shake of his head. "How was your trip?"</p>
<p>Sam snorted and they both began to walk out of the hanger in the direction Clint and Natasha had gone in, "Non-eventful. Apparently, I was on the <em>boring</em> side of Romania."</p>
<p>Steve let out a worried sigh at his words, "How is she? Really?"</p>
<p>"She's okay." Sam replied softly and Steve felt his body relax a fraction. They finally found the brand new, large locker room where Clint and Natasha had already begun to hang gear up. They glanced over at them while they spoke, "Aj's tired. She's upstairs passed out right now. She feels bad about going to Romania without telling us, but I think she feels worse about Bucky." Steve's face fell. "Seems like she blames herself for losing him this time."</p>
<p>Steve shook his head, "That isn't her fault."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I told her that but…"</p>
<p>"But Aj is a <em>professional</em> at blaming herself." Clint grunted from across the room. "Don't worry, I plan on discussing that point in detail when it's my turn to lecture her."</p>
<p>Sam raised an eyebrow at the statement, "Turn? Isn't the usual Avenger way just a blood bath of whoever gets there first gets whatever it is they want? I took an elbow to the face last time we tried to decide what take-out menu we were ordering from."</p>
<p>"We've matured, Samuel." Clint barked out while Natasha shook her head from behind him with a look of bored exhaustion on her features. "Try to keep up."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled to himself while listening to Clint and Sam bicker. He began to pull his gear off with the plan to clean it all later. Right now, his sole focus was on going to see Aj. Granted, it was Tony who had won the first lecture slot with her, he was third, but they had all agreed that the lectures would begin after everyone had time to clean up. Maybe they'd start tonight at family dinner. Steve's goal right now wasn't to lecture. He just needed to see her. <em>Hold her</em>. Make sure, with his own eyes, that she truly was okay and reassure her that nothing involving Bucky was her fault.</p>
<p>The locker surprisingly had a change of clothes for him, but it felt dumb to put clean clothes on over his dirty body. So Steve kept his uniform pants on and stripped out of the top portion of his uniform so all that was left was a plain, dirty black t-shirt. He did stop to grab the dark jacket hanging on a hook to cover up the dirty, plain shirt. Steve ran a tired hand through his hair and then motioned for Sam to lead him toward wherever the hell the apartments were.</p>
<p>"I plan on talking more about this when you guys have your mission debrief." Sam spoke up, "But there's more." Steve was really starting to hate that phrase. "Aj got on that plane alone so Daisy and Kate could go to Sokovia and help you guys—" Steve nodded his head, he knew that already, and Sam sighed, "—but Vincent followed her onto her flight."</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>!?" Steve's steps faltered only for a second before he increased his pace.</p>
<p>Sam kept up with him easily, "Apparently he only talked to her. Offered her a job or something? Aj was kind of unclear, and I didn't push because the poor girl looked like she was a second away from spiraling." Steve's heart ached at the thought. "She thinks Vincent is planning on leaving her alone for now though."</p>
<p>"And what do you think?"</p>
<p>"I think I don't trust the bastard." Sam shrugged and Steve nodded in agreement. They weren't about to trust the word of a known mobster, murderer, and drug dealer. "Said bastard also said something else. He told Aj that Strucker isn't just looking for her. He's after her older sister too."</p>
<p>Steve narrowed his eyes in confusion, "But why?"</p>
<p>"No idea, man."</p>
<p>It was good information to know, but right now Steve was too preoccupied to try and connect dots. His first task, before anything and everything else, was to see Aj. He could deal with all of this stuff later after a hot shower and nap. Steve tucked the new information away, pushing those pieces of the puzzle to the back of his mind, and focused on getting to where he truly needed to be.</p>
<p>Sam led him across the sky bridge to the third floor of the building the apartments were located in, and then he pointed him in the direction where the communal space would be alongside an elevator that would take him upstairs.</p>
<p>"I wanna put some feelers out on the <em>right side</em> of Romania." Sam said. "See if I can pick up any clues for Bucky. Plus, if Strucker heard that Aj was there maybe he made a move too."</p>
<p>Steve nodded and clapped him on the shoulder, "Good. Thanks. Get in touch with Coulson. Him and his team are trying to track Strucker down again. Maybe they can help."</p>
<p>Sam nodded and turned to leave while Steve pushed into the communal space. It was nice. A large dining area with a table big enough for all of them, a huge kitchen with any appliance he could think of and an equally as large kitchen island, a living room designed for their game and movie nights, and even more space around the corner it seemed. He could explore later. Steve assumed he'd be the only one here, other than maybe Thor who was wandering around somewhere, but instead his eyes landed on Beth who stood by the elevator.</p>
<p>Her eyes widened and she raised her hand in greeting, "Captain?"</p>
<p>"Oh, Beth, hey." He walked over with a nod. The small girl had on a simple red dress with a belt around the middle and a Stark pad in her arms. "How are you?"</p>
<p>"I, uh, fine! How are you? You look…<em>tired</em>." Beth eyes darted over his face and she was probably taking in the dirt, sweat, and bruises he still wore. "Did the mission end well?"</p>
<p>Steve nodded and the elevator doors opened. He smiled and held his arm against the door motioning for her to step in first, "Very. What are you doing here?"</p>
<p>"I heard Aj got back, and I needed to talk to her about some PR stuff." Beth raised the pad in her arms with a kind smile. "Are you heading to your own apartment? I can help you pick one. I think only one of them is occupied so far, and it's Aj."</p>
<p>"No, I'm okay for now. I actually…" As the elevator doors opened into a wide hallway, he suddenly felt nervous. The last thing he had said to her had been in the voicemail he left her, and she had to have heard it by now. Steve wondered what she thought of it. He hadn't exposed too much. To be honest he had chickened out halfway through, but he was glad he had. Telling her how he felt… Steve wanted to do that in person.</p>
<p>He suddenly realized that his goal of finding her was for more than just making sure she was okay. That was a huge part of it, but he also wanted to stop wasting time. He let Vincent, the mind stone, and even himself get into his own head about all of this. Maybe his future wasn't meant for a happily ever after. Maybe he wasn't meant to be more than a soldier. Right now, though, Steve was content with taking his fate into his own hands. What would happen would happen down the line. All he could do was tell her the truth and hope she felt similarly.</p>
<p>"Steve?" His eyes snapped to the side to see Beth looking at him in concern, "Are you okay?"</p>
<p>Steve chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, "Sort of. Hey, can I ask you for some help?"</p>
<p>"Anything!" She smiled. "That's what I'm here for, right?"</p>
<p>"How do you…" He gave her a sheepish look, "How do you tell a dame you're interested in her?"</p>
<p>Bucky had given him an answer to this back when they were kids. Then reminded him again with Peggy. Still, he had yet to use the jerk's advice, and he was skeptical to now. Modern women were different, weren't they?</p>
<p>Beth giggled, "Oh, uh—" Steve could see a tint of pink on her cheeks while she spoke, "Maybe you should just kiss her." His eyes widened at the suggestion, but Beth elaborated on her own. "It's kind of passionate, you know? Obviously not if the guy is some stranger at a bar or whatever, but I think…I think there's something romantic about a guy just pulling the girl he loves in close and <em>showing</em> her how he feels. Actions speak louder than words, right?"</p>
<p>Steve let the idea roll around in his head. He did like the idea of that. Walking into the apartment, checking on Aj, and then just leaning in and kissing her. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about interrupting her mid-sentence to lean in and kiss her before.</p>
<p>He shook his head with a chuckle, "I don't think that's a good idea for me."</p>
<p>"Why not?" Beth pressed, taking a step closer to him.</p>
<p>"Because", Steve smiled warmly to himself at the thought, nothing but adoration in his voice, "I think Aj is the kind of dame that would punch my lights out if I kissed her without permission."</p>
<p>Beth eyes widened and there was a flash of shock there that Steve couldn't place. Before he could question it, the small girl began to beam up at him with a wide grin, "<em>Oh my God</em>! You and Aj! I just <em>knew</em> there was something going on there no matter how many times she denied it."</p>
<p>"Well, there's nothing going on. Yet." He mumbled the last word to himself. "Thanks for the help, Beth. Which one is her…?"</p>
<p>Beth nodded, "Oh, it's that one." She pointed to an apartment off to the right. "I'll, uh, I'll just come back later. Let you guys…<em>talk</em>."</p>
<p>Steve thanked her as the PR specialist got back onto the elevator and disappeared. He cleared his throat and walked over to the bright red door. Maybe it was time he finally took Bucky up on that old advice. <em>'Stevie, you gotta pull her in close, look her right in the eyes, look at her like she's the only dame on the Earth for you, then smile and say that you're absolutely crazy for her. Don't overthink it, punk.' </em>He could do that. He could do that. Could he do that?</p>
<p>He knocked on the door once, but when he didn't hear anything on the other side, he pushed the door open, "Aj?" Steve's voice echoed in the mostly empty apartment. He repeated himself but louder, "Aj?"</p>
<p>The space was silent. Steve poked his head through the open door to the right, a bedroom, but the bed was made and empty. He hummed to himself in thought as he glanced around. Where had she gone? Steve walked back to the foyer where his eyes landed on a duffel bag and her bookbag that sat on the floor. Maybe she had woken up and ran off to find them. Like Tony, she was probably the only person who actually knew how to get around the Compound.</p>
<p>Should he just wait here, or would that be too weird?</p>
<p>Steve shook his head and went to grab her bags. He could set them in her room for her and then go searching. As he swung around to carry them in, something hard fell out of the open pocket of the bookbag and hit the floor. Steve mumbled a curse to himself and went to grab whatever he had dropped, praying it hadn't broken, but he froze at the sight of the cellphone on the ground. He wasn't from this time frame, but he knew enough to know the device sitting on the floor was considered ancient these days. In fact, months ago he had asked about it, after seeing one in a movie, and Tony had lovingly referred to it as '<em>the type of phone a drug dealer from a bad 90's movie would use</em>'.</p>
<p>Slowly, he set down the bags and scooped up the phone. Why did Aj have a such an old phone on her? He knew she used the touch screen Stark phone most often. Steve flipped it open and, unlike the phones of the future, this one didn't require a passcode of any kind. In fact, it looked like this thing could do only two things: call and text.</p>
<p>Who had she been calling and texting?</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The moment I saw the quinjet in the distance, I started moving. Before leaving my apartment, I stopped by my bookbag and unzipped it so I could shove my sling in there. I didn't want them to see it and worry, but then I remembered they already knew I had been shot. Hiding wasn't really an option. Especially since I had changed out of Steve's large blue sweater and the bloody tank top I wore under it. The sling I had hanging over my flannel wasn't going to make or break this situation for me.</p>
<p>I sighed and hurried out the door. For a long time, I had gone back and forth on who I needed to talk to first. The group of them probably wanted to talk to me as a whole, but I was hoping that they'd take a break to clean up first. That would buy me time. After figuring that out, the next part had become clear to me. <em>Tony</em>. Tony <em>had</em> to know what I knew. He had gone so long in his life not knowing the truth. I had to tell him.</p>
<p>The good news was that I knew Tony's habits like the back of my hand. It was why I knew that the first place he tended to go after a mission was his lab. Even if it was just a quick stop to drop off parts of his suit, he always went there first. Hell, he'd go there before cleaning himself up or tending to his wounds too. It was something I know every single Avenger had gotten onto him about in the past. Luckily, I knew exactly where his new lab was.</p>
<p>The space he put aside for the private lab was huge. It was split in half, one side designed for the kind of work Bruce did and the other designed for the work Tony did. Honestly, it was like a scientist or engineer's wet dream. Getting him to come out of here was going to be a pain in the ass in the future. Especially since he had built himself a full bar in the corner of his side rather than just the drink cart he used to have.</p>
<p>Not all of his materials and furniture had been delivered, like the rest of the Compound, which left me standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. Internally, I tried to create a script of what to say, but nothing seemed to stick. How would I want to hear news like this? The answer wasn't a good one. I don't think there was a way I could hear something like this and not lose my mind. I couldn't prevent Tony from hurting. The only way to do that would be to keep this to myself, but he deserved to know the truth. I knew that much.</p>
<p>I would want that much.</p>
<p>Only a few minutes passed before I spotted Tony through the glass walls coming toward the lab entrance. He was on the phone, and for some reason he still wore pieces of the Iron Man suit. No gauntlets, no arms, no helmet. Just his torso piece and lower half. Tony's eyes landed on mine and I watched as he pointed at me with his lips pressed together. The doors slid open placing us both in the same space.</p>
<p>"—right. No, I found her just now. I'll call you back in a little bit, Pep. I have a lecture to deliver. Love you, bye." Tony hung up the phone then set it on the bench beside him. He pointed at me again, "You are in <em>so</em>much trouble. <em>Enormous</em> trouble." Tony crossed the space, I stiffened, but he just pulled me into tight hug. It was awkwardly placed because he had the suit on and was trying not to jostle my left arm too much. Tony pulled back, worry in his eyes, and set his ungloved hand on the back of my neck, "You okay, sunshine?"</p>
<p>"I…" I swallowed the lump in my throat.</p>
<p>"Your arm?" He pressed.</p>
<p>I forced myself to nod, "It's okay. Hurts, but…it's healing."</p>
<p>"Good to hear it, but I'm giving Cho a call. She can look you over and maybe even her portable regeneration cradle can do something for it. We probably need it for the quick kid anyways." Tony said, mumbling the last half to himself, but then his face broke out into a bright grin. He leaned forward pressing a kiss to my temple then leaned back with a chuckle and relief in his tired, but happy eyes, "God, I had a shit ton of things to yell at you about, like an actual list, but damn you are a sight for sore eyes, Aj. Hey, help me out will you."</p>
<p>Tony walked past me to a large workbench and dug around under it for some kind of tool. I followed him sheepishly, "Why are you still in the suit?"</p>
<p>"I'm stuck." He scoffed and pulled out a tool I didn't recognize. "Asshole Ultron dropped Sokovia on me when I was trying to keep us from falling out of the sky." Most of his words made no sense to me. "The suit slammed into the core, then I used most of the energy to blast it—anyways, my point is, the seams are jammed. Couldn't get it off on the quinjet without this." He waved the tool in my face then slid it into a seam line on his side. "Come on this side of me and hold pressure."</p>
<p>I circled around him to stand on the other side of where he placed the tool, and Tony slammed it in hard. I kept him from moving as he did so, and eventually the torso portion peeled open and fell to the ground in a sparking heap of metal. We repeated the process with his lower half until all he had on was his under gear.</p>
<p>My eyes traced him for injuries. His left eye was bruised pretty bad and there was a gash that circled the eye that had probably bled pretty bad. He still had dried blood at his hairline on his right side.</p>
<p>"You know what I've decided?" Tony chirped in amusement. "Next time, we're just bringing you with us on the world saving mission. You can sit in the quinjet, eat snacks, and take videos of us kicking ass for Instagram or some shit. We're definitely not leaving your ass alone again—"</p>
<p>"Tony—"</p>
<p>"You can be our little cheerleader! We'll get you a little outfit and pom poms and everything. Though, granted, that'll probably be too distracting for old man Cap. Can't having him stroking out in the field."</p>
<p>I shook my head, not laughing at his joke, "Tony, are you…<em>are you okay</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm fine. Ultron didn't crazy murder us which is always a huge plus." Tony replied, his smile faltering a little. He motioned to his face, "I mean, my face hurts, but…" I bit down on my lower lip and clenched my fists to keep from shaking. Tony shook his head, one eyebrow raising at me, "That was your cue to say something like '<em>Well it hurts me to look at it'</em> or something else cute and quippy. I can't do all the work for you, sunshine."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Tony, we need to talk."</p>
<p>His face fell, but I could see it was only worry for me. Tony stepped closer and set his hand on my good arm, "Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? Is it your arm?"</p>
<p>"It's not me. I'm fine. Tony—" I pressed my lips together nervously. How do you phrase this? What way can I say this that will hurt the least? I shook my head once, "I don't wanna be the one to tell you this, I <em>hate </em>that I am, but you <em>need</em> to hear this and—and you need to hear it from someone who <em>cares about you</em>." Tony watched me intently as I built up the courage with my rambling words, "I hate the thought of you finding out down the line from an outside source or—"</p>
<p>"Aj." Tony said calmly. He squeezed my arm, "It's okay. Just say it."</p>
<p>I swallowed my nerves and spoke, my voice barely above a whisper, "I know who killed your parents, Tony."</p>
<p>Tony's eyes narrowed in confusion, "My parents died in a car crash. You know that." I shook my head. Hell, my entire body was shaking now. His hand slowly fell from my arm and he repeated his words slower this time, "My parents…My parents died in a <em>car crash</em>, Aj."</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to try and explain but nothing came out. I had to do better than this. I needed to do better. Quickly, I reached out to grab his hand, "It wasn't an accident, Tony. I'm so sorry. <em>I'm so sorry</em>."</p>
<p>He didn't speak for a minute. Tony just stared and I was forced to watch as realization slowly dawned on him. I could see the dots connecting in his eyes. I could see him figuring out exactly what I meant. Tony was a smart man, a clever one, and he knew all the puzzle pieces surrounding this moment. It was only a matter of time.</p>
<p>"Bucky told me. HYDRA—"</p>
<p>Tony yanked his hand out of mine, like he had been burned, and he staggered back as if I had physically slapped him. It was silent in the room again, but this time the air was thick with tension and suffering. Tony lifted a hand to cover his mouth as he blankly stared at something beyond me.</p>
<p>Finally, after what felt like ages, Tony spoke up in a low, level voice, "Where is he?"</p>
<p>"Wh—What?"</p>
<p>"Where is he?" Tony repeated.</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I don't—"</p>
<p>"<em>Where the hell is Barnes, Aj</em>!?" Tony slammed hand down on the bench top beside us making me flinch. There was anger in his eyes, I had seen it before, but this was the first time I had seen it directed at me like this. This was the first time Tony had ever yelled at me like this. Our voices would raise when we fought, but this was <em>different</em>. There was bite in his voice, <em>venom</em>. "Where. Is. He?"</p>
<p>"I don't know, Tony." I said quickly. Tony scoffed and turned to look away from me. He buried his hands in his hair and I could see his shoulders rise and fall with each forced breath. "He told me—He told me about HYDRA sending the Winter Soldier to kill your parents then he said he couldn't come home, and he couldn't talk to me anymore and then he left—"</p>
<p>Tony let out a disgruntled growl and whipped back around, "Bucky Barnes tells you that he <em>murdered </em>my parents and <em>you just let him walk away</em>!?" He began to step toward me, and I hated that I stumbled back at his approach. "Barnes <em>killed my mom</em> and <em>you let him get away</em>!?"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Tony, it wasn't—"</p>
<p>He let out a sharp, cold bark of laughter that had zero humor in it. Tony leaned on the bench top with his eyes closed tightly. I wanted to reach out to him, to do something, anything, but I was frozen in place. Tony laughed again, "My father would never <em>shut up</em> about Steve, you know that?" I wasn't quite sure where this was going. He shook his head, "You wanna know his favorite story to brag about, Aj? The one I had to hear <em>over and over and over</em>."</p>
<p>"I—"</p>
<p>Again, he wouldn't let me speak. Tony kept on, "Howard Stark loved telling people about how he was there when Captain America was born<em>. Both times</em>. He pulled the switch on the machine, but he also flew the plane that dropped Cap off into his first real mission." Tony pushed off the bench to look at me. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes burned with rage. "Dad was <em>so proud</em> that he played a role in helping Captain America save his best buddy. <em>Bucky fucking Barnes.</em>" He let out a loud laugh and threw his hands up. "How funny is that, Aj? One of the things my dad was most proud about is—it's the reason <em>he's dead</em>. It's the reason <em>my mom is dead</em>. He helped saved Bucky Barnes and then years down the line that <em>psychotic</em>, <em>homicidal</em>, <em>fucking</em>—"</p>
<p>"It's not Bucky's fault."</p>
<p>"<em>Stop defending him</em>!" Tony roared. "<em>Whose side are you on, Aj!?"</em></p>
<p>I sucked in a sharp breath, "I'm not trying to take a side, Tony. Bucky is a victim in this too. It was <em>HYDRA</em> who killed your parents—<em>your mom</em>. It was the Winter Soldier." Tony scoffed. "Bucky <em>hates</em> himself for what they forced his body to do. He didn't—"</p>
<p>Tony grabbed me by my right arm harshly, "Does it look like I give a <em>damn</em> how he feels right now, Aj? <em>He killed my fucking mom</em>." He squeezed on my arm unintentionally and I winced. "I'm going to find him, and I'm <em>going</em> to kill him."</p>
<p>He let go of my arm and pushed past me. It took me a second to register what he said and then I rushed after him, "Tony, wait! <em>Please</em>!" He didn't stop for me and I had to grab his arm. "<em>Tony</em>—"</p>
<p>"Either help me or stay the <em>hell</em> out of my way, Aj." Tony growled.</p>
<p>"What are you planning on doing?" I pressed in a panic. To be honest, I didn't know what I was more worried about. Tony finding and hurting Bucky, or Tony hurting himself in the process. There was nothing a determined and angry Tony couldn't accomplish, but I knew the kind of lengths he would go to. The kind of torture he'd put himself through.</p>
<p>Tony scoffed, "What? Worried about the <em>murderer</em>?"</p>
<p>"Tony, I'm worried about <em>you</em>!" I cried. "Please, just sit down with me and we can—"</p>
<p>"Talk it out?" Tony replied in a low voice. He wasn't yelling anymore and somehow this was so much worse. I stumbled back again as he advanced. Tony shook his head, "You don't get it, Aj. You <em>don't</em> understand what he took from me. You <em>don't</em> understand how I feel right now, and I <em>don't</em> want to hear you try and <em>talk me down</em>. So, do me a favor and get the hell away from me."</p>
<p>I shook my head, feeling him slip away, feeing him spiral. I couldn't let him go. I couldn't let him leave, "Tony, I <em>do</em> understand. Losing family hurts, and I'm not—I'm not belittling that but—"</p>
<p>"<em>No, you don't</em>! You <em>can't</em> get it!" Tony blurted in a tone that sat between furious and aching. "I had my <em>entire</em> family <em>ripped</em> away from me, and most of yours just <em>chose</em> to leave you!"</p>
<p>The edge of his words shot straight through me and I sucked in a sharp breath to compensate. It would've hurt less if he had just reached out and punched me. He wasn't wrong. The fear of being unlovable, unwanted, was always at the back of my mind. People always left and I was the one constant variable in every situation. That meant it had to be because of me, right? There was some fundamental part of me that was just broken and anyone who entered my life eventually took notice of it.</p>
<p>I felt a tear streak down my cheek, and it was only then that I even realized that my eyes were watering. Hastily, I swiped at my eyes to try and dry them. There was a flash of something in Tony's eyes. Regret? It was gone too quick for me to confidently place and then so was he. Tony spun on his heel and stormed out of the room leaving me standing in the lab alone.</p>
<p>The softer voice in my head, the kinder side, whispered that he didn't mean it. It told me he was hurting and that the look in his eyes had been immediate regret.</p>
<p>The poisonous side, the side that dripped venom down my spine, laughed at the fact that I had finally done. I had finally run him off.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Daisy had been awake for over 24 hours at this point and damn did she feel it. Luckily, the act of getting Sokovians settled and to various shelters and hospitals was mostly done. There were a few stragglers that other SHIELD agents were taking care of, but her job was over. Enough so that she knew Mac was prepping their quinjet so they could head back to the Playground in the next half hour or so. However long it would take to drag Fitzsimmons out of the lab.</p>
<p>That gave her enough time to do one last thing at least.</p>
<p>She weaved through the crowded hospital halls toward the room sitting at the very end. Daisy glanced through the window of the room to see the people she was looking for. Kate was standing at the end of Pietro Maximof's bed while his sister was curled up in the chair beside him. Lucky's head resting on the girl's lap.</p>
<p>"—is great. Clint knows more spots than I do, though." Kate finished her statement. The woman was still wearing the clothes she had met her in, the jeans and dark purple sweater, though she had lost the plaid overcoat.</p>
<p>"Ah, yes, but I think your company would be <em>far</em> better than the old man." Pietro replied with a charming smirk. Wanda Maximof rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath in Sokovian, but the small smile on her lips hadn't faded.</p>
<p>Both twins looked much better than she last saw them. Pietro sat in the bed, but he no longer had on a hospital gown which meant they had probably already taken care of his wound. Instead, the white haired boy had on a gray t-shirt and matching gray sweats with the SHIELD logo over a pocket. Even Wanda looked like she had found a shower. Her clean brown hair was braided out of her face, but she still wore the clothes from the fight, red leather jacket included.</p>
<p>"Hey, Daisy." Kate greeted with a broad smile. "Have you met Pietro and Wanda yet?"</p>
<p>"Not officially." She pasted on a smile of her own and stepped further into the room to stand by the bed as well. She gave them a small wave, "I'm Daisy. How are you guys feeling?"</p>
<p>Pietro shrugged with a noncommittal noise and Wanda nodded before speaking, "Much, much better. Pietro needs more pain medications though."</p>
<p>"No, no." Pietro quickly waved her off, "I am fine."</p>
<p>Daisy could see the stiffness in the boy's shoulders which meant he was probably in a good amount of pain. He just didn't want to show it. Daisy wondered if that had anything to do with Kate standing at the end of his bed. She chuckled, "I can get you some just in case. For later." She motioned out the door. "We're actually loading up right now. We're getting a quinjet set up that will take you guys to the Avengers Compound. Maria Hill is in charge of it and the Vision will be riding with you."</p>
<p>"You aren't coming back?" Kate questioned.</p>
<p>"We are eventually." Daisy crossed her arms. "We're gonna be heading to our own base, but I also wanted to make a quick stop to handle some SHIELD business we put on hold to deal with Ultron." She glanced back at Pietro and Wanda who were staring at one another. Their facial expressions made it seem like they were having a mental conversation and Daisy wondered if with Wanda's powers that was possible. She cleared her throat, grabbing their attention, "We appreciate everything you did for us in Sokovia. Without you guys, we would've had a <em>lot</em> more casualties." Clint being one of them. "We'd like to take you to the Avengers Compound to help you get back on your feet. I think Barton's gonna offer you guys an official job too, but… but if you don't want to, you don't have to."</p>
<p>Wanda glanced at her brother once more before looking back to her. Daisy watched the red glow flicker in the girl's eyes, "Thank you, Daisy. We'd like to go to the Avengers Compound."</p>
<p>"I'm glad." Daisy nodded. She really did think this was the best for them. The twins technically weren't real inhumans. Strucker had altered them with the mind stone, but the world wouldn't see that difference. Being with the Avengers or SHIELD would keep them safe. "If you guys ever need <em>anything</em>, just let me know."</p>
<p>"Thank you." Pietro nodded and held up a thumbs up to her.</p>
<p>Daisy quickly said one more quick good-bye before ducking out of the room. She didn't get far when she heard someone calling out for her to stop. Kate caught up with her, Lucky on her heels, and grinned, "Hey, you can't leave without me."</p>
<p>"Huh?" She furrowed her eyebrows together.</p>
<p>Kate nudged her with her elbow, "Oh, come on. We're partners in crime now. We both found a missing person and then also saved the world. With help. Or we were the help, but whatever you get my point."</p>
<p>Daisy chuckled in amusement, "You really wanna come with me?"</p>
<p>"Duh." Kate chimed without hesitation. "What's our next mission?"</p>
<p>The cheerful energy Kate seemed to exude was contagious. Daisy would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy her company. Sure, they had a rough start, but the archer was kind of like Clint in the sense that it was very difficult not to be in a good mood around her. Besides, the team could always use help and the Avengers already had one Hawkeye. Daisy wouldn't feel guilty stealing the second.</p>
<p>"Alright, well, right now we're looking into a series of missing person cases." Daisy began to catch Kate up to speed. "Inhumans all over the world have been disappearing…"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The plan had been to get to my apartment, grab my cell phone, and call Pepper or Rhodey. Maybe both. I wasn't entirely sure where Tony had run off to or if he reached out to them himself, but he needed <em>someone</em> right now. It took me a minute to shake my head out of the daze I had been in from what Tony had said. One thing my life had given me though is the ability to compartmentalize. My own issues were a tomorrow problem. Right now, I needed to make sure Tony didn't hurt himself.</p>
<p>When I got to the fourth floor, I noticed my door was already open a crack. It was probably an Avenger here to lecture me on Romania. The lecture would need to wait, but maybe they could help me with this Tony issue too. I pushed into my apartment and the first thing I noticed was that both my duffel bag and bookbag were missing from the foyer floor. The next thing I noticed, as I stepped further in, was Steve standing at the kitchen island. His arms were resting on the marble top and his head hung down as he stood hunched over.</p>
<p>"<em>Steve</em>?" I called out in worry. "Hey, are you okay?"</p>
<p>I stepped toward him. Nervous for the talk we needed to have, but eager to pull him into a hug and make sure he truly was safe after the mission they just had. All thoughts fell from my head when he pushed himself off the island to face me. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips drawn in a tense straight line, and on the island sat…<em>sat my burner phone</em>. I could physically feel my heart plummet. It was like all the blood in my body had froze, and my throat became nervously dry.</p>
<p>"Steve…" I began softly.</p>
<p>"How long?" He croaked. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. Steve wasn't supposed to find out on his own like this. I wanted to sit him down, tell him my poor reasoning, tell him how important he was to me and how sorry I was for betraying him. "Aj, answer me." Steve scoffed, adding to his demand. "I know it was for <em>at least</em> a month. That's how far back the texts and call log go."</p>
<p>I shook my head and took in a shaky breath, "I'm <em>so</em> sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry."</p>
<p>"<em>Aj, how long</em>!?" Steve cried.</p>
<p>"A little over three months." I answered and hung my head in shame. Steve sucked in a disbelieving, short gasp followed by a tense silence that haunted me. I couldn't bring myself to look up at him. I tried to keep my voice steady, "Steve, I'm <em>so</em> sorry. I was planning on telling you—"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm sure." Steve scoffed again.</p>
<p>My head snapped up desperately and the pain in his eyes nearly knocked me to the floor, "I swear I was Steve. I was going to tell you <em>today</em>. I know I should've ages ago but I—I <em>couldn't</em>."</p>
<p>"Why not?" He shook his head.</p>
<p>"Bucky asked me not to." I whispered.</p>
<p>Steve turned back to the island and returned to the position I initially saw him in. His jaw was tense, eyes closed, and even in this tense moment I traced his features looking for injuries amongst the dirt and grime that was stuck to his face.</p>
<p>Finally, he spoke up, "You knew this <em>entire</em> time." Steve turned his head to look at me. Blue eyes boring into me. His voice cracked when he spoke again, "You <em>lied</em> to me. This <em>entire damn time</em> and I was <em>stupid</em>enough to…"</p>
<p>"I'm sorr—"</p>
<p>"<em>Stop saying you're sorry</em>!" Steve snapped and pushed himself up again. "It doesn't mean <em>shit</em>! Aj, you <em>lied</em> to me. You lied to me about <em>Bucky</em>!"</p>
<p>I wrapped my right arm around my body pathetically trying to hold myself together, "I wanted to tell you, Steve, please you <em>have</em> to believe that."</p>
<p>"All those nights where I confided in you." Steve shook his head with a sad laugh. "I'd tell you how much I missed him, how <em>worried</em> I was about him, how <em>guilty</em> I felt about not being able to bring him home and you just—you never thought to tell me then? You were content with just <em>pretending</em> to care?"</p>
<p>I stepped forward quickly, "No, Steve, I wasn't pretending! <em>I do care</em>! It broke my heart not being able to tell you the truth those nights." For the rest of my life, I would hold the weight of the guilt from that. Listening to Steve pour his heart out to me and only comforting him with platitudes and touch rather than with the truth. "Please, just—just let me explain this from the beginning."</p>
<p>"I've heard enough, Aj." Steve shook his head. He grabbed the phone and held it out to me, "Get him on the phone <em>now</em>. I called the number and he didn't answer. How do you get him on the line?"</p>
<p>"He…" I glanced at the phone. Bucky really had gotten rid of it. That was the only explanation for him not answering. Back before Romania, if he for some reason missed my first call he'd always answer on the second with worry. I shook my head, "Bucky won't answer. In Romania, he… he told me he couldn't talk to me anymore. That we shouldn't keep in touch. Then he left."</p>
<p>Steve's eyes widened, "So, you're telling me that—that <em>after all this</em>, I don't even get to <em>talk</em> to him? He's in the wind without a damn clue <em>again</em>?" His jaw clenched and unclenched. "I lost my best friend, <em>again</em>?"</p>
<p>"We'll find him, Steve." I tried to reassure him, but even I could tell it was an empty promise falling from my tongue.</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus Christ, Aj</em>!" Steve snapped and tossed the phone aside. I flinched when it clattered across the wooden floor and the back and battery flew apart. "What gave you the <em>right</em> to keep this from me? That's what I don't understand!" He stepped toward me, his towering size terrifying, and for the second time that day I felt myself stumbling back away from someone I loved. "Bucky is my <em>best friend</em>! He's my—He's <em>everything</em>! And you thought <em>you</em> had more right to talk to him than <em>me</em>? You didn't <em>ever</em> think to let <em>me</em> speak to him?!"</p>
<p>I shook my head, my voice quiet, "I'm sorry. I wanted to, but Bucky asked me not to say anything and I—I was trying to get him to come home." I balled up my right hand into a fist and pressed it to my chest to try and keep my heart from falling out onto the floor. "That's why I went to Romania too. I wanted to bring him home. <em>Home to you</em>."</p>
<p>"Yeah, well, thanks, Aj!" Steve scoffed. "Job well done!"</p>
<p>"Steve…" I couldn't even find words to say. The broken, betrayal in his eyes matched with the scathing disapproval in his voice had me feeling small and pathetic.</p>
<p>He shook his head, burying a hand in his hair, "I just—I <em>can't</em> believe you'd do this to me, Aj. I thought we… <em>Damn it, Aj</em>."</p>
<p>"I'm so sorry, Steve." I said quietly. "What can I—<em>How</em> can I fix this? Please, I'll do <em>anything</em>. I just want—"</p>
<p>"Fix this?" Steve shook his head. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I felt like absolute scum. I felt like the shit someone would scrape off the bottom of their shoe. "I don't think there <em>is</em> a fixing this, Aj."</p>
<p>With Tony, I could argue that he didn't mean what he said. I could argue that it was him lashing out because he was hurt. The soft side of my mind had a fighting chance there. But here? This was a different situation entirely. I <em>did</em> deserve this. Steve wasn't wrong. Yeah, maybe he was lashing out because he was upset like Tony, but unlike Tony, I couldn't even try to put up a fight in my head against what he said.</p>
<p>All of this was entirely my fault.</p>
<p>I lied to him, kept the truth from him, and because of me he never got to talk to Bucky in the last three months. Because of me Bucky was lost in the wind and we were even further behind in our search of him. Because of me, Steve lost the person he loved most in this world, the one person who understood him, who was always there for him, and I had fucked that up.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey</em>."</p>
<p>Steve's eyes snapped to someone behind me, but I didn't bother to turn. I recognized Natasha's voice. A few seconds passed and I felt her hand on my right shoulder. She stepped forward so I could see her. Natasha was clean and had changed into a hoodie and yoga pants. Her short hair still damp making the red look darker. Her green eyes, filled with concern, met mine.</p>
<p>"Talk a walk, Steve."</p>
<p>"Natasha, she's been talking to Bucky this <em>entire</em> fucking time!" Steve barked. "He's gone now! I never even got to talk to him and she—"</p>
<p>"<em>Talk a walk, Rogers</em>." Natasha snapped and met his gaze.</p>
<p>Steve shot me one last look of disappointment before roughly shoving past Natasha and me to leave the room. I stood there unmoving. This was all my fault. I should've spoken to him sooner. I should've told him right away. All those thoughts circled through my mind, but when I thought about my choices I realized… Even if I could go back in time, I don't think I would've done anything differently. Maybe I would've made some different choices in Romania, tried some other way to convince Bucky to come home, but I still wouldn't have told Steve. Bucky had asked me not to.</p>
<p>Somehow that made this all worse.</p>
<p>What kind of person was I that even standing in front of Steve, seeing the absolute pain and devastation in his eyes, deep down I knew I still couldn't change? Natasha walked away from me to cross the room. She bent over to scoop up the various pieces of my broken flip phone. Natasha came back to me with them and set them on the island beside us.</p>
<p>"You okay?" She whispered. I shook my head and Natasha reached forward to pull me into a soft hug. Her arms reminded me that I never even got to hug Steve. The familiar smell of her shampoo was like a bulldozer to my very fragile mental stability. I buried my face into her shoulder and tried to steady my breathing while she comfortingly rubbed my back. "Hey, it's alright. Just give him a little time, he'll be apologizing by the end of the day."</p>
<p>"No." I pushed away from Natasha with a shake of my head. She looked startled by me, "I don't <em>want </em>him to apologize. He shouldn't <em>have</em> to, he doesn't <em>need</em> to! Nat, I—"</p>
<p>"You've been talking to Bucky since after Vincent tried to kidnap you from the Tower. I know. <em>I've known</em>." Natasha replied and my eyes widened slightly. I opened my mouth to question her, but she shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm Natasha Romanof. I'm paranoid and very good at finding answers."</p>
<p>"Why didn't you say anything? Does Clint know?"</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "No. He doesn't. I didn't tell him for the same reason that I didn't bring it up to you or anyone else. It wasn't my secret to reveal." She gave me a small smile. "Bucky was on the run. He was hiding from the world, from Steve, and the <em>only</em> thing that changed his mind—the <em>only</em> thing that made him risk his anonymity was you."</p>
<p>"But I—"</p>
<p>She stepped closer, "<em>But nothing</em>. As much as Steve doesn't want to hear it, Bucky Barnes isn't ready to be in his life again. He would've run immediately with Steve. But he didn't run from you."</p>
<p>"You're wrong. He <em>did</em> run." I tried to keep my voice steady. "I <em>lost</em> him. I wasted our one shot with him."</p>
<p>"I don't think you did." She replied with ease. "He spoke to you, every day, for three months. And he was clear, wasn't he? For most of it? I have to assume he was more Bucky with you than Winter Soldier." I bobbed my head once and Natasha grinned. "Steve won't admit it, not yet, but Bucky Barnes needed you. <em>Needs</em> you."</p>
<p>I let out a tired laugh, "The fact that he ran, told me he couldn't talk to me anymore, says otherwise."</p>
<p>Natasha smirked, "You ever think that he ran <em>because</em> he needs you." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but she didn't let me voice it aloud. "You were helping him. The fear of it spooked him. It's scary to get better, it's scary to be around people you think you're gonna hurt, it's scary to start to care again, and it's <em>terrifying</em> to think that you could be the downfall of someone you love."</p>
<p>"How do you know so much about him?"</p>
<p>"I was talking from experience." Natasha shrugged. "Kind of a '<em>been there, done that, still there some days'</em> situation." She reached forward to tuck some hair behind my ear. "Now come on. I was wrestling robots in a flying city 8 hours ago. It's time for ice cream and romcoms."</p>
<p>As tempting as that sounded, and God it was so damn tempting, I shook my head making her raise an eyebrow at me. I gave her a tight smile, "You gotta find Tony. Or—Or get in touch with Pepper and Rhodey. He's…"</p>
<p>"What happened, Aj?" Natasha pressed with her own worry.</p>
<p>"I ruined his day too." I chuckled and turned away so I didn't have to look her in the eyes anymore. I grabbed the broken phone and tried to put the battery back in, "I had to tell him some news. Something I learned in Romania and he didn't take it well…"</p>
<p>Natasha tilted her head and I forced myself to glance over and shake my head. She knew I couldn't repeat the news. It wasn't my place. We agreed on that topic. I couldn't tell Natasha about Tony's business because he deserved to be in control of who knew. Natasha didn't tell people about me talking to Bucky because she offered me the same thing.</p>
<p>"Clint is in the shower. I'll send him up here when he's done." Natasha reached out to squeeze my arm. "Everything is going to be okay, you know? Rough day, but rough days pass."</p>
<p>I nodded and gave her another tight smile. Natasha leaned forward to hug me one more time before hurrying out of the room. That gave me real comfort. Natasha was good at bringing Tony off the edge. If he was still in the Compound she could work wonders. If he wasn't? Well, Natasha could manage that too.</p>
<p>Knowing Clint, he'd probably be here in the next ten minutes. As soon as Natasha told him about what was going on the archer would rush through anything to get up here. He should probably go looking for Steve though. Somebody needed to be with him too. Hopefully, Thor hadn't gone back to Asgard yet and found him. Thor was really good with him.</p>
<p>I walked into my bedroom and found my bag. Quickly, I dug out my real phone and put it back together before dropping the cracked burner into the bag to replace it. When the phone came back to life, I watched as the screen exploded with various texts, missed calls, and even a voicemail.</p>
<p>Depressed exhaustion turned to stunned disbelief when I realized the voicemail was from Steve. I sat down on the bed and clicked on it. The message was from the day before. He called me when I was in the airport in Romania waiting for my flight home. Nervously, I hit his name and brought the phone up to my ear.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey, Aj… I, uh, I wanted to talk to you. I was hoping to hear your voice, but…but maybe this is better. All of us are on a quinjet to Sokovia right now. That's where Ultron is starting the final fight. It's going to be a bad one, we think. But I'm not—I'm not saying that to worry you. I don't want you to worry about us, I just want—… To say good-bye? No, no, not—Damn, I am just as bad at this on the phone as I am in person, aren't I? Hah, Aj, I think we'll be okay. I have faith that we will. The Avengers are a mess, we always have been, but we're also a family and families don't stop caring or fighting for one another. Ultron is a dangerous threat, but together…so are we. My point is, I think we'll be fine and I think this time tomorrow we'll be playing beer pong in the new Compound yelling at one another about breaking the rules or cheating but…but I would never forgive myself if I didn't take the time to call you. To say what I feel. Aj, you are… I want… You're so important to me. I love every single member of our messed up, crazy family, but you are special. You're… You're the first person I want to talk to when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I go to bed. Is that cheesy to say? I hope it doesn't sound that way I just want to… When I get back, and I will, we'll have a Netflix night. I owe you one and I wanna talk to you about something anyways. I—I miss you, Aj. I'll see you soon</em>."</p>
<p>The phone slipped from my grip, clattered to the wooden floor, as sobs racked my body. In that moment, curled up in tight ball, to try and ease the ache in my chest, all I could hear were my hysterical, gasping cries and the guilt of betrayal ringing in my skull.</p>
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<p>Clint came out of the elevator still drying his hair with the fresh towel he had found in his new bathroom. The big pieces of furniture still hadn't been delivered, but Stark had made sure the basics were there so they could at least clean up and rest. The genius was considered a genius for a reason. He slung the towel over his shoulder and knocked on Aj's apartment door. Natasha had given him the spark notes version of the drama currently ensuing.</p>
<p>Aj told Tony something she learned in Romania and he was having a breakdown in an unknown location. Steve had found a burner phone Aj had been using to keep in touch with Bucky Barnes, a fact Clint couldn't believe he didn't puzzle out himself, and was now in the training gym destroying any punching bag he could find while Thor tried to talk him down. That left Aj to sit in her room and suffocate with guilt that didn't belong to her.</p>
<p>Should she have told Steve about Bucky? Probably.</p>
<p>Did she deserve to sit in her room alone and hate herself for the mistake? Definitely not.</p>
<p>When she didn't come to the door, he opened it himself, "Aj?" Clint walked through the foyer into the empty and queit apartment. Had she fallen asleep? He glanced around, "Hey, kid, you pass out?"</p>
<p>Sleep was on the list of things that the poor girl desperately needed. Clint walked over to where he assumed the bedroom probably was and quietly pushed the door open in hopes to not wake her up. When he peeked his head in though, the room was empty. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Had he picked the wrong apartment? Natasha had said red door. His eyes landed on a folded piece of paper sitting on the bed.</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck</em>." Clint sprinted out of the apartment not even bothering to look at the note. He knew a good-bye letter when he saw one. Clint took the stairs, not wanting to risk losing time in the elevator, and the sudden movements reminded him that he had just gotten off a very long, very tiring mission. Still, he didn't slow, and he continued to curse with every step he took.</p>
<p>Aj's first instinct was always fight or flight. 9 times out of 10 she picked fight, but they always seemed to forget that flight was a normal option in her mind. Tensions were high, people were angry, but Clint was not going to let her throw everything away by running.</p>
<p>Not today, not ever.</p>
<p>When he got outside, he spotted Aj throwing bags into the trunk of an older, beat up car. Clint recognized the blonde sitting in the driver's seat tapping against the steering wheel. It was the bartender from Aj's old drinking spot. The one she had taken Tony to a while back. He didn't linger on that for more than a second though.</p>
<p>"Aj!" Clint barked and didn't stop running until he got a few feet away. She turned to look at him, closing the trunk slowly, and keeping her gaze on him. Aj's eyes were rimmed red. She had been crying recently and crying hard by the looks of it. The tip of her nose and cheeks were ruddy in color. He also took in the sling she wore for her left arm. Clint shook his head, "What the <em>hell</em> do you think you're doing?"</p>
<p>Aj shot him a tight smile, as if her face didn't look like she was collapsing, "Getting a ride to the city, Clint, what does it look like?" He shook his head firmly and she stepped closer. "I'm really glad to see you. I felt bad that I hadn't seen you, Thor, or Bruce yet."</p>
<p>"Aj, <em>what are you doing</em>?" Clint pressed again. He didn't bother telling her that Bruce was MIA. It wouldn't help. He reached out to tightly hold onto her right hand so she couldn't leave. Aj couldn't leave if he didn't let go.</p>
<p>"How do you feel?" Aj asked as if he wasn't even speaking. "You look like shit, man."</p>
<p>Clint knew he did. The right side of his face was bruised and aching to all hell. The gash at his hairline, that the medics had sutured up hours ago, was now beginning to hurt as the local anesthetic they used wore off. Still, that was not what this conversation was about.</p>
<p>"Get your bags." Clint said firmly. "I'm taking you back to your room."</p>
<p>She shook her head and spoke softly, "No, you're not."</p>
<p>Clint pressed his lips together then offered her a tense smile, "I'm already planning to ground you for the Romania, don't make me add extra time to the <em>eternity</em> I was planning on grounding you for."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I lied to you." Aj replied quietly. Too quietly. He hated that tone from her.</p>
<p>"<em>Don't apologize</em>. You did what you had to do. I'd be a hypocrite to be pissed about that." Clint replied. He squeezed her wrist, "What I <em>am</em> upset about is you leaving. Don't make a rash decision like this. <em>Think, Aj</em>."</p>
<p>Aj chuckled, "For once, I kind of did think this through."</p>
<p>"Aj—"</p>
<p>"No, really, Clint." She smiled at him and this time it reached her eyes. "I've…I've changed so much in the last four months and it's because of y'all. I told Bucky…" She twisted her lips at the name then shook her head, "I told him that he needs a safe space and people who love him in order to heal and then—then when Vincent offered me a job—"</p>
<p>Clint blinked in shock, "When <em>who</em> offered you a <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>She continued, ignoring his interruption, "I told him no. I told him I was <em>worthy</em> of a chance to prove that I was more than what I always thought I was. That I <em>deserved</em> it, and I don't think I've <em>ever</em> felt that way in my life."</p>
<p>"What are you trying to say, Aj?" Clint sighed. "Because everything I'm hearing is that being here is good for you. So why would you try to leave?"</p>
<p>"Tony and Steve need space to recover." Aj shook her head. "And they can't do that with me here."</p>
<p>Clint physically had to restrain himself from outwardly groaning in frustration. He tightened his hand on her wrist again, "They're <em>idiots</em>. Just ignore them. That's what I do!"</p>
<p>"Hey, are we heading out? I gotta get back soon." Clint glanced over to see the bartender had gotten out of the car to look at them over the roof.</p>
<p>Aj nodded, "Yeah, Alex. Just a minute."</p>
<p>"<em>Stop</em>. Don't do this." Clint said firmly.</p>
<p>"Clint… Tony has houses all over the world to run to so maybe this is only partly for him, but for Steve…this <em>is</em> his home." Aj bobbed her head toward the Compound behind him. "I hurt him. I hurt him bad. He needs the space from me. Steve's too good of a person. If I stick around he's going to try and make amends and I… I don't deserve those amends."</p>
<p>Clint scoffed, "So what? This is you trying to punish yourself for him?" Aj gave him a small, sad smile. "Where the hell are you gonna go, Aj?"</p>
<p>"With me, hawk dude." Alex chimed in. If Clint weren't so on edge and bothered by the situation on hand he would've found the words charming. This was a problem though. There were so many reasons as to why she shouldn't leave. Clint was half tempted to just pick her up, throw her over his shoulder, and carry her back inside. Fuck her self imposed punishment. He'd duct tape her to the damn wall if he had to. HYDRA was out there. Vincent was out there. Boss was out there. If a single one of them even looked at her wrong, Clint would lose his shit.</p>
<p>More so than those dangers, he was worried that Aj was a danger to herself. She spoke of change, and God he was so proud of her, but the world was filled with temptations and it was all too easy to fall back into old habits. Clint didn't want her to throw away all of her progress because she was trying to be noble.</p>
<p>Steve had a right to be angry, but it shouldn't cost Aj her growth.</p>
<p>"You have to let me go, Clint." Aj said softly. "I need this too. I need to take a step back and…and I need you to have faith in me." His eyebrows furrowed and she gave him a knowing look, "I'm not going back into fighting. This isn't a relapse it's a… it's a vacation."</p>
<p>The word vacation insinuated that the person would be having a good time or relaxing, but the stressed and pained look in her red rimmed blue eyes told him otherwise. Clint clenched his jaw in defeat. Amongst the hurt, there was also determination in her gaze. As much as he liked his duct tape plan, he realistically knew that he couldn't hold Aj prisoner here. She had the freedom of choice. Her entire life people had taken that from her, made decisions for her and left her reeling, and Clint swore on <em>everything he valued</em> that he would <em>not</em> be one of them.</p>
<p>"You don't have to do this, you know? You don't."</p>
<p>Aj chuckled with a small nod, "Yeah, I do."</p>
<p>Clint let out a shuddering breath and let go of her wrist. He shook his head, "Come back soon, kid. These doors are always open for you. This—" Clint glanced over his shoulder then looked back to her, "<em>We</em> are your home, and we'll <em>always</em> be waiting for you."</p>
<p>He watched her lower lip quiver once before she bit down on it. Aj closed the space to wrap her one good arm around him, and Clint returned the hug tightly. It felt too much like a good-bye. She squeezed him once more before letting go and quickly turning away to walk to the passenger door. Clint saw a tear fall down her cheek, but he didn't mention it for her sake.</p>
<p>Clint grabbed the top of the door to hold it for her as she climbed in. Aj quickly buckled herself in and glanced up at him. He nodded once, "See you later, kid."</p>
<p>Aj gave him a tight-lipped smile and he shut the door. He stayed outside and watched until the car left his sight. Clint would give her a little time, but he wouldn't let her needlessly torture herself as an unfitting punishment. He pulled his hearing aids out, the pieces irritating his ears after being in for so long consecutively. Clint walked back towards the Compound in complete silence, and mentally drafted the speech he would say to her after a little time was given. He'd never take away her choice, but that didn't mean he couldn't try to sway her from coming back.</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Dear Diary, It's Me Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: I passed my last med school test! Wanna leave me some comments about your thoughts on this chapter as a congrats (; ALSO SIDE NOTE, if you don't know who Alex is or just wanna see more of them check out 'Not That Essential' on my profile. There's a deleted scene written in that about them!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it." -unknown</em>
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  <strong>Day #06:</strong>
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<p>The theme song of The Office bounced around the walls of the very small, but very cozy, apartment I was currently squatting in. It was studio style with worn wooden floors and freshly painted walls. The kitchen was nestled in the corner beside a small dining room table that had mismatching chairs. In the corner across from the kitchen the room dipped out to house a double sized bed. The door to the bathroom was beside that.</p>
<p>Right now, I was sitting on an old, off white couch in the middle of the room across from a TV that had been playing The Office non-stop for the past six days. The only times I had moved from this spot were to get up and go to the bathroom. The fact that this is where I slept every night made not having to go anywhere very easy.</p>
<p>"You literally haven't moved an inch since I left."</p>
<p>I glanced over to the door to see Alex stepping in. They had on an oversized white tank top hanging off their torso with a black sports bra showing from underneath and a pair of bright red shorts. Their short blonde hair was slicked back, and they didn't remove their sunglasses to address me.</p>
<p>"That's not true." I shook my head and pointed to the kitchen, "I got up twenty minutes ago to get chips."</p>
<p>Alex shook their head and walked over to the kitchen. I let my eyes drift back to the TV lazily and pulled the hood of the jacket I wore over my head before falling over to lay on my right side. The jarring motion made my shoulder ache, but just barely. My mind zoned out as I watched the colorful lights flicker in front of me. To be honest, I couldn't even tell you what episode was playing right now.</p>
<p>A second later, I felt weight drop down on the couch by my hips. Alex had taken a shower and changed out of their clothes into a baggy beige sweater. I blinked at them in surprise. Hadn't they just gotten back? Was the shower really that quick or was I just losing time again?</p>
<p>"Where is your sling? You're supposed to still have it on." Alex pressed. I curled up tighter into the couch and mumbled my response. They sighed in response, "If you won't wear your sling can you at least consider coming out into the sunlight again? You're looking pasty as hell."</p>
<p>I nodded, "Thanks, Alex. You always know the right thing to say."</p>
<p>Alex rolled their eyes and reached forward to pick up an empty carton of ice cream before tossing it aside again, "Well, someone has to say it."</p>
<p>I forced myself to sit up and buried my face into the hoodie's neckline, "Look, I know you're not used to seeing me like this, and I really appreciate you letting me stay at your place." I sighed. "I just…I think I'm in the middle of some kind of <em>depressive</em> episode or something. I've never had to deal with this before—"</p>
<p>Alex let out a loud laugh that I narrowed my eyes at. When they finally began to calm, swiping away at a tear from their eye, they looked back at me, "Oh, wait, are you <em>serious</em>?"</p>
<p>"I'm <em>spiraling</em>, Alex, maybe show a <em>little</em> more concern?"</p>
<p>"You think you've <em>never</em> had a depressive episode before?" Alex scoffed. "<em>Really</em>? <em>Seriously</em>?" I threw my hands up in defeat and ignored the ache that burned in my shoulder. Alex continued, "<em>Idiot</em>, back before you met the Avengers you were having a depressive episode every other week!"</p>
<p>I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and for a quick moment the only sound in the room came from the TV. Slowly, I shook my head, "No… I think I'd remember that…"</p>
<p>Alex leaned back onto the couch so they could rest their arm on the back of it, "Oh, I'm sure you do. Your episodes just looked a little different back then." I shot them a look and they shrugged. "Before, your episodes consisted of drinking until you were white girl wasted, being a dick to anyone who tried to talk you down, and then going to the ring to beat the shit outta any poor fool dumb enough to challenge you."</p>
<p>"That's…not…accurate." I mumbled in self-denial. I had never labeled those moments as depressive episodes, but that definitely sounded like a typical day in the life of Aj Bradshaw. It was interesting to me because I liked to think I had changed, but this was actual hard evidence of it. Did I want to go throw myself into a fight or drink until I was blind? Oh, <em>fuck yes</em>. It took <em>every</em> ounce of my being not to run to the nearest ring and get lost in blood.</p>
<p>"Right now? This moment?" Alex's voice grew softer, "This stands out because it's the first <em>healthy </em>depressive episode you've ever had." As much as I wanted to throw myself into fighting, I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to lose all the progress I had made. Even though I hadn't seen or talked to any Avenger since I left… I still didn't want to disappoint them. Maybe that was dumb of me. Alex scoffed to themself and picked up another empty carton of ice cream, "Although, I don't know if I can actually call this episode healthy. How can someone as small as you eat so much? There's like four cartons of ice cream here, two bags of chips, and—and are those my leftovers from last night, you <em>ass</em>?"</p>
<p>I gave them a sheepish smile, "What's wrong with having a little comfort food?"</p>
<p>"This is hardly a little." Alex tossed the trash aside. "You have a wooden leg or something?"</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes in confusion, "Wooden?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, you know, the saying about people who eat a ton."</p>
<p>"That's '<em>hollow leg'</em>, dumbass."</p>
<p>Alex scoffed, "Why would it be hollow leg?"</p>
<p>"<em>Why would it be wooden?"</em> I argued back.</p>
<p>Alex shot me look of indifference before pushing up off the couch to go to the kitchen. They called out asking if I wanted some coffee and I said no before shoving a few more chips into my mouth. When they came back with a steaming mug, they motioned to the TV with their hand.</p>
<p>"Can we watch something else? <em>Anything</em> else?" Alex pleaded. "I'm behind on the—the—the, <em>uh</em>, one show."</p>
<p>I knew they had planned on saying The Walking Dead but stopped themselves because they knew it would make me sad. Alex gave me a nervous look, but I just smiled and offered them the remote. I was behind on episodes of my favorite zombie show too but watching it without a very specific blond beside me felt wrong. That was Steve's and my thing. Though I didn't know if I deserved to say anything was our thing anymore. I had lost that right.</p>
<p>"Sorry." Alex mumbled. They gave me a sheepish smile. "We can find a movie to watch or something."</p>
<p>"You don't have to be sorry." I chuckled. "Or tiptoe around me like I'm made of glass."</p>
<p>"I'm just trying to protect the remaining ice cream I have in my freezer." Alex smirked. I chuckled and stood up, dusting off chip crumbs from my lap, then moved to grab my bookbag leaning up against the wall. "About that time again?"</p>
<p>I glanced over at Alex, "Everyone needs routine in their life."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah, just don't fall off the fire escape with your gimp arm." Alex replied.</p>
<p>I rooted through the bag, grabbing what I was looking for, then moved toward the window so I could sit on the fire escape. Alex lived on the fourth floor of the apartment building where the bar sat in the basement. As I dropped down onto the metal stair, I stared at the busted looking burner phone in my hand. The back of the phone had snapped so it wouldn't click close anymore, so I had to tape the battery to it. The screen itself was cracked, but it didn't hinder the function.</p>
<p>Like I had since I got back from Romania, I clicked on the familiar number and brought the burner phone to my ear. Just like always, the phone went straight to voicemail.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey Buck, it's me again</em>…"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Pepper walked down the steps to Tony's lab. It had taken a while to rebuild their Malibu home, but the design was kept similar to what it had been before it was destroyed. When she got into his lab, Pepper spotted him sitting at the benchtop tinkering with an Iron Man helmet.</p>
<p>"Tony." She called out and walked across the messy lab to get to him. He hadn't turned around at her voice or stopped working. Ever since he came to California six days ago with news about his parent's true demise, he had been distant. Pepper could barely get him to eat or sleep. Tony just hunkered down in his lab designing more and more suits. "Tony—"</p>
<p>"Not hungry, Pep."</p>
<p>Pepper didn't bother trying to argue with him. She just set her hand on the back of Tony's neck and lightly squeezed. Tony's fingers faltered and she felt his shoulders marginally relax. Taking advantage of the moment, she reached her other hand around to cup his face and turn him to face her. Tony dropped the tools in his hands to look up at her.</p>
<p>His eyes were rimmed red and the color seemed brighter thanks to the dark bags under them. Pepper's heart ached at his pain. Rhodey had been over earlier today, and he had done his best, but Tony still remained in his same state. Pepper was really hoping to convince Tony to shower, eat, and get some sleep.</p>
<p>"Tony, let's get some dinner."</p>
<p>"I have to finish this." He shook his head. "I have to…"</p>
<p>Pepper lightly rubbed her thumb against his cheekbone, "Tony. Please talk to me."</p>
<p>"There's nothing to talk about." Tony replied. "My parents were murdered. Barnes did it. I—"</p>
<p>She gave him a small smile, "That's not what's bothering you right now." Tony pressed his lips together in a tight line. "You're still angry about what happened to your parents, I know. You deserve to be, but this isn't anger I'm seeing in you."</p>
<p>"<em>Pepper</em>."</p>
<p>"It's <em>guilt</em>." Pepper said softly. She shook her head, "What's wrong, Tony?"</p>
<p>He didn't reply for a moment. Tony just stared up at her in despair. Pepper hated seeing him so hurt. She hated that there was nothing she could do to take this pain from him. Tony was like Atlas. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and refused to pass the burden onto anyone else.</p>
<p>"<em>Aj</em>." Tony croaked. Pepper knew that Aj was the one to reveal the news to him. As painful as it had been, she was glad that the young woman had done so. This was something Tony deserved to know about his past. And yes, it hurt like hell now, but Pepper knew Tony was strong. He'd overcome this. She'd make sure of it. Still, Pepper wasn't sure how the exact conversation went down. "I hurt… God, <em>I hurt her</em>, Pepper."</p>
<p>Pepper furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion, "What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"I snapped. I didn't mean to. <em>I didn't mean what I said</em>, but…" Tony closed his eyes.</p>
<p>"I'm sure she knows that, Tony. You were upset—"</p>
<p>"I told her she couldn't understand anything I felt. I told her that her family <em>chose</em> to leave her." Tony barked out a cold, broken laugh and Pepper wilted. She knew Tony had a sharp tongue and knew he tended to lash out when he felt like he was backed into a corner. "You should've seen her face. She just—<em>she just broke</em>. I could see it in her eyes and watching her cry I just—"</p>
<p>Pepper pulled him forward so his face rested against her stomach. Tony relaxed in her hold and she lovingly dragged her fingers through his hair. He said something else, muffled by her abdomen, and Pepper shook her head lightly, "You know she's going to forgive you, right? You know she knows you didn't mean it?"</p>
<p>"You weren't there, Pep." He pulled his face back to look up at her, and she kept her hands on him so he couldn't stray far. "I <em>destroyed</em> her. The shit I said I—<em>God</em>, I'm no better than the other monsters in her life."</p>
<p>Pepper scoffed at his statement, "That's a bit excessive, Tony. It's entirely different."</p>
<p>"<em>They</em> hurt her.<em> I</em> hurt her." Tony snapped. "What's so different?"</p>
<p>"You <em>love</em> her, and she <em>loves</em> you." Pepper gave him a soft smile. "<em>She knows that</em>." He shook his head once and she raised an eyebrow at him. "If Aj, in her anger, snapped and said something awful to you… would you hold it against her?"</p>
<p>Tony sighed, ducking his head again, "No, of course not, but… the words <em>can't</em> be taken back. Even if she forgave me, that doesn't make her <em>forget those words</em>."</p>
<p>"Oh, Tony." Pepper said and leaned down to press her lips to his forehead. "You're always too hard on yourself. Aj <em>loves</em> you. She won't take it to heart. Not from you."</p>
<p>She lightly brushed her hands over his features to his chin and forced him to look back up at her. Tony looked devastated and Pepper wished she could wipe the emotion right off his face. Looking at him here, she couldn't understand how <em>anyone</em> could claim him as heartless or void of emotion or empathy. Tony felt things <em>so</em> deeply. Sure, he'd hide behind his humor and deflect often, but if a person just took a second longer to really look at him… they'd see the man she loved.</p>
<p>"I love you, Pep." Tony said softly while pushing up to stand.</p>
<p>Pepper pulled him into a hug. Tony held her tightly, like his last lifeline, and buried his face into her shoulder while she continued to rake her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. She turned her head to press a light kiss on the side of his head, "I love you too, Tony."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Day #17:</strong>
</p>
<p>"Here." I dropped an uncapped beer bottle in front of the man sitting at the bar.</p>
<p>He grabbed it and gave me a skeptical look, "Alex is usually nicer to me when she gives me my beer."</p>
<p>"That's a goddamn lie and you know it. <em>They</em>—" I put emphasis on Alex's pronouns for the third time with this guy, "—like me, can't stand your ass. Drink your beer and shut the hell up, dick."</p>
<p>"My name is—"</p>
<p>"<em>Do not care</em>." I cut him off and moved down the bar to start cleaning used glasses. For the past week, I had been helping Alex out down in the bar as a thanks for letting me stay in their apartment. They only had a couple of employees they swapped out with and one of them was out with a bad case of the flu.</p>
<p>It was a nice gig. I was not a good bartender by any means, according to Alex I couldn't make a mixed drink to save my life, but luckily the patrons of this bar weren't here for quality. It was why I was also allowed to be a total ass to the more rude customers with no consequence.</p>
<p>Right now, the bar was pretty bare. Only a couple stragglers quietly drinking. The busy hours were from midnight to 3 in the morning so we'd probably stay quiet for another 4 hours. A few moments passed before Alex kicked open the front door and burst in with a greeting as loud as their leopard print jeans.</p>
<p>"Hey, what the <em>hell</em> is this shit?" Alex demanded as they leaned up against the bar toward me with their phone in hand.</p>
<p>I held out my hands in a shrug, a rag and glass in each one, "How am I supposed to know what you're asking about?"</p>
<p>"This—wait, did you get your break?" Alex pointed at me in question. I nodded in confirmation. My break had rolled around two hours ago, and I spent it sitting in the back alley making a call into a burner phone that never got answered. "Okay, good, now." Alex held their phone up to me. "<em>What the hell is this shit?"</em></p>
<p>I took the phone from their hand to look at what they were freaking out about. It was a post on Instagram with thousands of comments. The post was on my account, <em>therealAJB</em>, and it was a picture of Steve. He was sitting on a couch facing the TV with his legs outstretched onto the coffee table. The person taking the picture had her legs resting in Steve's lap, his hand resting on her shin, and a pair of polka dot fuzzy socks on.</p>
<p>"Now correct me if I'm wrong, but last night you were sitting on my couch watching Cake Boss reruns not hanging out with <em>Captain dickhead</em>."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "Don't call him that. Steve is a good guy, <em>I</em> was the dickhead." Alex raised their eyebrows at me in argument and I ignored it. "It was probably Beth."</p>
<p>"Who the hell is Beth?" Alex pressed.</p>
<p>"She's the PR specialist I hired." I shrugged and glanced down at the picture again. Steve had a small smile on his face, that didn't reach his eyes, but he looked good otherwise. The caption under the photo read, '<em>Movie night with captainsteverogers! Any suggestions, y'all?</em>' I chuckled, "She even used the word '<em>y'all</em>' like I would. That's impressive."</p>
<p>Alex shook their head with confusion in their eyes, "Yeah, super duper impressive. However, <em>why</em> is she pretending to be you? Do I need to fight someone? I have a baseball bat in my trunk."</p>
<p>"Thanks, but no thanks." I chuckled. "It's probably a lot easier for her to pretend to be me than to come out into the media and explain how the Avengers had to run me out of the Compound."</p>
<p>Alex scoffed, "Okay, I was there, you ran yourself out, you idiot." They motioned to the phone. "This is bullshit."</p>
<p>"It's just the media game. No hard feelings." I replied. My eyes drifted over Steve's face again in a weird mix of longing and guilt. I shrugged, "At least he looks happy."</p>
<p>Alex narrowed their eyes at me like I was a crazy person, "Are you dumb and blind? The guy looks miserable. Him looking so shitty is actually the only thing that gives me comfort." I rolled my eyes at their words and slapped the rag in my hand onto my shoulder so I could use both hands while typing on the phone.</p>
<p>"What are you doing?" Alex jumped up so they could lean on the bar and look over the top of their phone. "Did you just leave a mean comment on that picture using my account?"</p>
<p>"Maybe." I mumbled and set their phone down on the bar before going back to drying the clean, wet glasses.</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah. No hard feelings." Alex hopped onto the bar and swung around so they could jump behind it and land beside me. They grabbed their phone and stuffed it into their back pocket, "You're definitely handling this separation like a mature, mentally balanced adult."</p>
<p>I smirked at them with a slight shrug. We worked in silence for a few moments and I tried not to let the thought of Beth and Steve cuddled up watching Netflix get to me. I had no right to be jealous. Steve was welcome to hang out with whoever he wanted. Beth was a good kid and wouldn't hide a life altering secret about his best friend from him.</p>
<p>"I know!" Alex clapped their hands together. "We take a picture of us working the bar and post it on insta to see how many people freak out over it before this Beth bitch can pull it down."</p>
<p>I laughed and threw my rag at them, "Beth <em>isn't</em> a bitch, don't be mean, and I can't post anything to that account. I don't have access to it anymore."</p>
<p>"You don't <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"They changed my password."</p>
<p>Alex stared at me, blinking for a few seconds, before speaking, "Are you telling me the <em>real</em> AJB doesn't have access to the account <em>therealAJB?"</em> I gave her a sheepish smile and tilted my head. Alex shook their head. "I'm gonna fight every single Avenger, I swear to God. And I am so <em>upset</em> that you don't feel the same way!"</p>
<p>I raised an eyebrow at them, "Of course I'm not gonna fight the Avengers. Firstly, it's a suicide mission, and secondly, I still love all of them."</p>
<p>"Where is that famous Aj anger?" Alex demanded. "I've seen you throw hands with someone for just <em>looking</em> at you the wrong way. Why the hell aren't you angry at this?"</p>
<p>"Being that temperamental isn't something I should be proud of." I mumbled to myself. They were right though. This entire time, I kept waiting for anger to slip into my veins or show its face. That's where I always ended up. This time though, it didn't come. I was sad, like <em>stupid</em> sad, and disappointed in myself, which was hardly new, and I had this <em>ache</em> in my chest that <em>begged</em> for me to reach out to someone I loved, but…no anger. It was unusual. It kind of felt…<em>wrong</em>.</p>
<p>"I'll take care of the kegs." I said and went to work. Alex and I managed the bar for hours as more people began to trickle in. Now that the ring was disbanded, most of Alex's clientele were low life thugs, local drug dealers, and various people who just lived in the neighborhood. Most of them were just people trying to get through life. I understood that. As long as they didn't cause trouble in the bar, we didn't judge.</p>
<p>I was in the back looking for a box of beer bottles when Alex called me back to the front. Giving up my search for now, I pushed myself out of the crouch I was in and walked out expecting a crowd of people they needed help with. Instead, my eyes landed on the god of thunder smiling at me from a barstool.</p>
<p>"<em>Thor</em>?" I rubbed my eyes thinking this was some weird hallucination. Thor remained there though. The upper half of his long hair was pulled back in a small bun with various braids decorating it. He had on a dark red sweatshirt with a dark jean jacket over that.</p>
<p>Thor grinned at me, "Little warrior! How have you been?"</p>
<p>"Good? Why are you…?" I glanced at Alex and they shrugged.</p>
<p>"I wanted to speak with you. Can you spare me a moment?"</p>
<p>Alex nodded and I told him I'd meet him at a booth in the corner. As I hopped over the bar, Alex hissed at me to grab my attention. They held one hand up blocking the view toward Thor and used their other hand to hold up a makeshift shank they pulled out of the collections bin. They motioned to Thor with the sharp end while bobbing their head.</p>
<p>"<em>No. No shanking Thor</em>." I hissed and waved my hand at her. Alex tossed the shank aside with a pout and went back to serving someone. With a shake of my head, I reached over the bar to grab two beers before heading over to Thor. I set one down in front of him and he smiled, "So what's up, Thor?"</p>
<p>Thor took a quick sip, "I am returning to Asgard, but I didn't want to leave without saying good-bye."</p>
<p>"I'm so sorry." I breathed, disappointment in myself rising up again, "I left before seeing you after the Ultron mission and I—"</p>
<p>"No need for apologies, Aj. There is no animosity there." Thor gave me a warm smile. He lifted his bottle up to motion toward me, "However, you are missed at the Compound. Not seeing you around is…strange."</p>
<p>"I miss you too, Thor." I said honestly. Sitting in front of him now made the ache of missing all of them so much more real. Day to day I could pretend it was all some insane, crazy dream that I made up. Seeing Thor, the god of thunder, in front of me reminded me that it wasn't just some hallucination. They were real and I <em>missed</em> them.</p>
<p>"I am not the only one who misses you." Thor raised an eyebrow at me. I chuckled and awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck before taking a quick sip of my own beer. Thor cleared his throat, "Without you, Stark, or Banner—"</p>
<p>I interrupted him, "Where is Bruce? Did he leave to stay with Tony?"</p>
<p>Thor's eyes widened, "You don't know?" I shook my head, and he spoke without further prodding. "Banner never returned from the Ultron mission."</p>
<p>I felt my stomach turn to lead and drop to my feet. Bruce never came back? This entire time I had been here moping, and I hadn't even known that he was…was…?</p>
<p>"<em>He is alive</em>!" Thor blurted. "I can see how my previous phrase may have sounded wrong." I was minimally comforted. "The Hulk boarded a quinjet that Ultron had been in. The vessel was in stealth so we were unable to track it and Bruce refuses to answer any of our messages. We believe him to be in fine health. <em>Physically</em>."</p>
<p>After what happened in Johannesburg, I could understand Bruce's turmoil. I had no idea he had taken off to be alone like this though. Realistically, I knew there was nothing I could've done to stop this. He took off before they ever even came home, but still some part of me tried to pin this on myself.</p>
<p>"I didn't know." I said softly. After a moment, I shook my head, "You said…You're going back to Asgard? Tonight?"</p>
<p>"Yes. To begin with at least." Thor answered with ease. "The mission in Sokovia opened my eyes to a new threat. These items. These…infinity stones can be wielded to do dangerous things. I plan to seek them out and prevent their abuse."</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes, "<em>Infinity stones</em>?"</p>
<p>Thor nodded, "There is still much I do not know, but I hope that my friend Heimdall in Asgard and my father may have more insight."</p>
<p>"Well, maybe you can pick me up a souvenir from space, huh?"</p>
<p>Thor chuckled at my poor attempt at a joke which I appreciated. Suddenly, he reached out to set his open hand on the table in front of me. I hesitated only for a second before placing my own in his. Thor squeezed my hand reassuringly, and the small touch truly did settle my nerves. I missed this. "Aj, I will admit I am here for more than just farewells."</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah?" I questioned nervously. I had an idea where this was going to go.</p>
<p>"You may take as much time as you need. In fact, I think it wise to do so." Thor said firmly. "However, I want to let you know that whenever you feel comfortable to do so, you should <em>come home</em>. There is no one who does not want that." He squeezed my hand once more and gave me a sympathetic smile, "Steve included."</p>
<p>I stiffened at the name and couldn't help but glance away. It took a moment before I could speak again, "Thor, I messed up. I hurt him. <em>Badly</em>."</p>
<p>"We all make mistakes. Steve is upset over what he learned of his brother." Thor said and I found it interesting that the god referred to Bucky as brother rather than friend. He nodded, "But he is also upset over what occurred between the two of you. He misses you, Aj."</p>
<p>"Thank you, Thor." I mumbled then shrugged and pulled my hand out from his, "But I fucked up really bad. I don't get to just walk away with a slap on the wrist for that."</p>
<p>Thor furrowed his brow, "Is that what this is? A self-imposed punishment?"</p>
<p>I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms, "Someone has to punish me. I deserve it."</p>
<p>"Yes, but for the same reason we don't allow Stark to choose his punishment, we don't want you in charge of what you think you deserve." Thor argued. "Both of you are much too hard on yourselves."</p>
<p>His words rolled around in my head, but I forced myself to smile, "I, uh, I should get back to work. Alex is probably missing my help."</p>
<p>"Of course." Thor chugged the rest of his beer then stood. I followed suit and when he opened his arms with a wide smile, I didn't hesitate to fall into them for a hug. It was a little pathetic how nice this felt. If Thor noticed me holding onto him for a bit too long or a bit too tight, he didn't mention it. He just held me back until I finally let go. "I don't know when I will be back, but I hope to visit you in the Compound, little warrior."</p>
<p>I grinned at him and nodded, "I'm gonna miss you, big warrior. You're my favorite Asgardian."</p>
<p>"The competition is not stiff, but I will wield the honor with pride." Thor nodded. He cupped the side of my neck and leaned forward to press a kiss to the top of my head. "Be safe, Aj."</p>
<p>"You too, Thor." I replied. He gave me one more smile before walking out. I grabbed our bottles and walked back to the bar. Alex caught my gaze and raised their eyebrows in a familiar unspoken question. I gave them a reassuring smile and nod, then went back to filling orders behind the bar. I missed my family, that was more true than ever, but my punishment was far from over.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve readjusted his suit jacket while squirming in his seat. He tried not to let his distaste show on his face, not in front of the crowd of press around them, but it was getting harder and harder. This was their first official interview since Sokovia. Beth had set it up for them, and as much Steve didn't want to do this he knew it was important. Right now, him, Tony, Clint, and Natasha sat in plush recliners on a stage answering a string of questions about the mission in Sokovia. Thor had left from the Compound to go to Asgard, and they had left the twins at home with Sam. Pushing Wanda and Pietro in front of the press asking about their home seemed like a bad idea.</p>
<p>Natasha finished answering a question, and the next reporter stepped up to ask their own. The portly man spoke into the microphone, "What do the Avengers have to say on the topic of hiring a known criminal to be—"</p>
<p>"<em>Known criminal</em>?" Tony said loudly before the man could even finish his question. Steve stiffened in his seat while Clint and Natasha warily looked to Tony. He let out a sarcastic chuckle, "Aj Bradshaw is a <em>victim</em> of a jackass, <em>piece of shit</em>, piss poor excuse of a man named Eugene Morgan whose been running around Jersey <em>fucking people over</em>—not that you vultures or even the police have focused much on that." Tony shook his head and leaned forward in his seat. "We hired an intelligent woman who graduated from Colombia University with honors and then was accepted into their elite medical program. She learned how to manage the day to day operations of <em>Fortune 500</em> company in <em>one</em> weekend alone, not to mention learned how to manage an <em>asshole</em> like me."</p>
<p>The reporter blinked, "I—"</p>
<p>"<em>Sit down</em>." Tony scrunched his nose once and motioned for the next reporter, "You're done."</p>
<p>The Q&amp;A continued, and no other reporter even tried to touch on the topic of Aj. Tony had done a good job of squashing those with his rant. They shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. Beth was good at PR, but she didn't think of little things like that. Aj would've made a list of questions not to be asked and would've enforced it with an iron fist.</p>
<p>Steve forced himself to stop thinking on that line of thought. He was still pissed about the Bucky topic. It hurt to know that there had been an open window, a chance to get him back, only for it to slam before he even realized it. <em>Steve was hurt</em>. The odd part of his pain though was that there was only one person he wanted to talk to about his pain, and it was the person who caused it. Steve felt betrayed, he couldn't believe Aj would keep something like this from him, but at the same time he also felt upset about the way he reacted. He had seen the look in Aj's eyes when he went on his rampage, and in the moment it hadn't even bothered him. Looking back though? God, it was gutting.</p>
<p>The panel finally came to a close, and the moment the cameras shut off Steve pushed himself out of the chair to go to Tony who was already off the stage and heading to the door. He picked up his pace, "Tony." The man ignored him entirely and Steve had to force himself into Tony's path to get his attention. "<em>Tony</em>."</p>
<p>"What?" He snapped.</p>
<p>Steve gave him a concerned look, "I wanted to check on you. See if you're okay."</p>
<p>Tony let out a cold laugh while loosening his navy and red tie, "See if I'm okay? Thanks, Cap. I'll make a note of your concern. Tuck it away for a cold, rainy day."</p>
<p>"Tony", Steve said slowly. "We're <em>all</em> worried about you. Do you plan on coming back to the Compound soon?"</p>
<p>"No. I don't." Tony replied. "And I don't give a <em>damn</em> about your worry, Rogers."</p>
<p>Without another word, Tony pushed out of the building into the cool night. Steve crossed his arms and let out a tired sigh. Nothing had felt right since Sokovia. It was nice to have Wanda and Pietro join the mismatched family. It was even nice to have Sam living at the Compound, and nice that Thor stuck around for a little longer. Still, it wasn't <em>right</em>. The Compound didn't feel like home. Tony wasn't blasting his music in his lab or passing out in various spots at all times of the day. Bruce wasn't there to offer a listening ear, the smell of his tea absent in the new space they lived in. And Aj… Steve rubbed the back of his neck and pushed his thoughts away again.</p>
<p>"Steve!"</p>
<p>He looked up in time to see Beth make her way toward him at a casual pace. The girl lacked her usual bounce, her gait had changed to something more confident and firm, but Steve tucked that fact away as one of the weird things he noticed about people while being on edge. He offered her a small smile, "Hey Beth."</p>
<p>"Great job tonight." Beth chirped. Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and she wore a white button down shirt and navy skirt. "You killed it."</p>
<p>Steve chuckled, "Appreciate it. You did a good job setting all this up. Thanks again. We need the good press now more than ever."</p>
<p>"You guys are so great you make the job easy." Beth shrugged. "I may have to do a little work with Mr. Stark's…<em>outburst</em>, but I'm sure that will be fine too. What are you doing tonight?"</p>
<p>Steve's eyes widened, he slipped his hands into his slacks' pockets, "Oh, uh, nothing. No big plans."</p>
<p>"Captain America has no plans for this lovely Saturday night?" Beth joked.</p>
<p>"That's usually how my Saturday nights go." He nodded once and began to walk toward the back exit. She followed him, "What about you?"</p>
<p>Beth smiled, "Me neither. I guess I shouldn't be teasing you so much about your lack of plans." He chuckled and she cleared his throat. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to do a… movie night?"</p>
<p>Steve slowed in confusion, "We took the picture yesterday. Was it not good enough?"</p>
<p>"No, no!" Beth waved her hands. "It was perfect, and the picture was a <em>huge</em> hit! I just know you like Netflix nights and since neither of us have anything to do…? I know you're a fan of The Walking Dead. I haven't seen many episodes, but I've been meaning to get into it."</p>
<p>It dawned on Steve what she meant, and he felt a sudden rush of awkwardness. Was she asking as just a friend, or did she mean as a date? Beth had been really friendly toward him as of late. Natasha said she was flirting but Steve was never a good judge of that. He crossed his arms nervously.</p>
<p>"Uh, thank you for the invitation." Steve glanced at his feet once. "I appreciate it, but I think I'm gonna head to bed early. Today was kind of…<em>busy</em>."</p>
<p>Beth frowned, "Oh. I understand. Maybe next time, huh?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, next time." Steve replied quickly in hopes to placate her. Beth was a good kid and a great PR specialist. They couldn't afford to lose anyone else at the moment. She gave him another tight smile, reached out to squeeze his arm, and then walked away after saying she'd see him later.</p>
<p>Steve remained stuck where he was for a second. He was still angry, but he missed Aj like hell. He wasn't sure how to deal with the two clashing emotions. A part of the reason why he couldn't go out and talk to Aj was because he knew that the moment his eyes met hers the anger would fade. Steve wasn't ready to let go of the anger yet, no matter how much he missed her.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Day #27:</strong>
</p>
<p>I glanced over my shoulder, offering the person behind me a cheerful smile, but Alex just stuck their tongue out at me in response. I rolled my eyes despite them being hidden by my sunglasses, "Very mature. Keep it up and I won't take you to brunch with me. I'll leave you at the front door with coat check."</p>
<p>"We are going to meet the <em>woman of my dreams</em> and you didn't even let me go home and change." Alex complained. They jogged to catch up with me and motioned to their t-shirt tucked into their jeans. "How am I supposed to woo the Black Widow in <em>this</em>?"</p>
<p>"There will be <em>no</em> wooing." I chuckled. "Besides, you look fine. Though your hair is kind of a mess…"</p>
<p>Alex quickly tried to calm their dyed blonde locks in a frenzied panic while I snickered to myself. The two of us had been out and about in Manhattan, Alex was the one to drag me all the way back out here, and while we wandered around in the nice, springtime weather Natasha had texted me. She asked if I wanted to meet her for brunch and a part of me wondered if she had known I was already in Manhattan. I wouldn't put it past her.</p>
<p>The brunch place she chose, funnily enough, was the one Clint had first taken me to when we met. The hostess gave both of our outfits a skeptical look and it gave me déjà vu. After taking a solid moment to mentally judge us, she led us out onto the deck where a red head was already sitting and sipping on a mimosa. Natasha's short hair was curled at the ends and she wore a white, fit tank top with a tan trench coat over it.</p>
<p>"It should be illegal to look so <em>casually gorgeous</em>." Alex mumbled to me. I could hardly disagree with them. Natasha rose when she spotted us, and I stepped forward to hug her. She squeezed me equally as tight.</p>
<p>When I pulled away, I motioned to Alex, "This is Alex. They're in love with you."</p>
<p>"<em>Oh my God, you idiot</em>." Alex hissed from behind me. Natasha chuckled and offered her hand to them. In a daze, they took her hand and shook it for a weird amount of time. I finally nudged Alex in the ribs to get them to let go of the spy's hand.</p>
<p>Natasha motioned to the table, "Have a seat."</p>
<p>I sat beside Natasha while Alex took the seat across from her. After the waiter came by to deliver our mimosas, I turned to the red head, "How've you been, Nat?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine. The Compound is hectic, breaking the new trainees is fun." She shrugged then motioned to me. "When do you plan on moving back in?"</p>
<p>I readjusted my hat with a nod, "Right to the point. <em>Nice</em>." Natasha raised an eyebrow at me, and I sighed in response. "I don't know what to tell you, Nat. Rooming with Alex has been fun. <em>We're bonding</em>."</p>
<p>We both looked over at Alex who was nose deep in the menu gasping at various dishes and not even paying us any mind. I twisted my lips and looked back to Natasha who smirked at me, "You had to have known that the brunch was just an excuse to get you to come back."</p>
<p>"Oh, of course, but I thought we'd at least get to the brunch part first." I replied. The waiter came back and the three of us put in our orders.</p>
<p>When he walked away, Natasha folded her arms on the table, "What do you want in return? Apologies? I can make Tony and Steve say their sorry. Granted, I don't know what Tony is apologizing for, he told us about his parents but not why he's upset about you, but Steve—"</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus, no</em>!" I said quickly. "<em>Nobody</em> owes me an apology."</p>
<p>Alex let out a loud, fake laugh, "<em>Incorrect</em>! Captain <em>Shithead</em> and Iron <em>Bastard</em> owe my idiot some <em>begging and pleading</em>. If they aren't on their knees, then she ain't accepting it."</p>
<p>I shot Alex a glare, "Why did I bring you?"</p>
<p>"Because you love me?" Alex scoffed and picked up their mimosa glass. Sharing an apartment had only brought Alex and I closer, and I had to admit that I was crazy thankful for them. I didn't agree with their assessment of the situation, but their loyalty was heartwarming.</p>
<p>Natasha grabbed my attention, "Your friend is right. All three of you need to sit down and have an <em>adult </em>conversation. Which I know is difficult because not a single one of you is actually an adult, but you can't keep refusing to see them."</p>
<p>"It's not that I'm <em>refusing</em> to see them." I sighed and leaned back in my seat. While they waited for me to speak, I kept my eyes on central park. I missed Tony so much. I missed goofing off with him in the lab, arguing with him, getting pulled into an affectionate side hugs anytime I drifted too close to him. And, I missed Steve. <em>God, I missed Steve</em>. Watching anything on the TV didn't feel right without being able to curl into his side. I missed watching him while he focused on whatever sketch he had in front of him. Hell, there wasn't a thing I didn't miss. I forced my eyes back to Natasha, "I don't deserve to be forgiven yet, Nat."</p>
<p>Her eyes narrowed at my statement, "You don't get to decide that. You'll <em>never</em> think you deserve it."</p>
<p>"This isn't like I stole the last donut from the kitchen or beat them at a board game." I scoffed. "Nat, I—"</p>
<p>"You kept a secret from Steve. A big one, I know. And yes, it is in his right to be hurt and angry, but you're not allowed to <em>crucify</em> <em>yourself</em> over it." Natasha said firmly. She continued, "And with Tony, you gave him the gift of the <em>truth</em>. You shouldn't be punishing yourself over that at all."</p>
<p>I groaned, "Can we just maybe agree to disagree?"</p>
<p>"No, <em>you're wrong</em>, but I <em>will</em> shelf the conversation for now and switch over to catching up and mindless small talk." Natasha smirked. Alex immediately began to dive into the hundreds of questions they had for their celebrity crush and I just sat in silence listening to them. Like she had promised, Natasha kept the brunch conversation topics very light. In fact, anyone who walked up to listen to us wouldn't have any idea that Natasha was trying to drag me back to a Compound of superheroes by my hair or that I was involved in drama consisting of two of the most well-known people on planet Earth. They would, however, be able to see that Alex was head over heels in love.</p>
<p>"We'll have to do this again soon." Natasha said to Alex who was about two seconds away from melting into a puddle at the red head's feet. "I ordered some to-go drinks for you and Aj to take with you. Can you go pick them up for me?"</p>
<p>"Absolutely." Alex said firmly and turned to leave. Natasha could've asked them to commit a homicide in broad daylight and they would've replied the same.</p>
<p>I turned to Natasha who raised an eyebrow at me. We stayed by the exit while Alex hurried to the bar away from us. I nodded once, "So you got me alone. Now what?"</p>
<p>"Aj, you can't keep this up forever."</p>
<p>"Not for forever. Just until…" I said slowly, but I didn't know how to finish that sentence. I didn't know the answer. Forever wasn't my plan, yet I couldn't think of an actual date to give her. Until Tony came to me first? That way I knew for sure he was ready to talk. When Steve didn't feel so betrayed or hurt? Maybe that one <em>was</em> forever.</p>
<p>Natasha shook her head, "Is there anything I can say right now that will convince you to come with me?"</p>
<p>"No. Not yet." I replied with a small shrug. She sighed and stepped forward to pull me into a hug. I wish I had a clear answer for her, but I still didn't even have a clear answer for myself.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Pietro lounged on the communal couch watching the television in front of him. This was the life. There were plenty of things that he could still complain about, but for now he was content. He had access to a steady food source, a soft bed, a hot shower, and most of all his sister was safe. More than safe. His sister was <em>happy</em>.</p>
<p>He glanced to the side and watched as Wanda drifted out of her room to walk to the kitchen while humming under her breath. There was color in her cheeks, the bags under her eyes long forgotten, and Pietro could see the weight she put on. Her face was fuller, healthier, and he was sure that if she lifted her shirt he wouldn't be able to see her ribcage anymore. Wanda wore comfortable house clothes to lounge about in with fuzzy slippers on her feet.</p>
<p>"<em>I'm making lunch do you want anything</em>?" Wanda called out to him.</p>
<p>"<em>I'm fine</em>." He replied with a small smile.</p>
<p>For a moment, he turned in his seat just to watch his twin casually work in the kitchen. It had taken Wanda a little longer to adjust here, but she was settled now. Wanda had decorated her bedroom, begun training with some of the Avengers like he had, and was even making friends. Granted, the friend she was closest to at the moment was the <em>floating microwave</em>—</p>
<p>"<em>What did I tell you about calling Vis a kitchen appliance</em>?" Wanda's eyes snapped up from her work.</p>
<p>Pietro jumped up and in less than half a second he was standing by his sister, "<em>What did I tell you about reading my thoughts</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>You were being loud and sappy. I liked it</em>." She shrugged. "<em>And you're right</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>I'm always right</em>." Pietro smirked and leaned on the counter beside her, "<em>But what am I right about specifically this time</em>?"</p>
<p>Wanda gave him a soft smile, it was one he hadn't seen on his sister's face in a very long time, "<em>We might've found a home. I—I missed this. There's still time for me to be wrong, but</em>—"</p>
<p>He shook his head, "<em>Don't think like that</em>."</p>
<p>Pietro understood her fear. To trust this place, to put down roots, put them at risk of really being hurt. If they gave in only to have this all taken from him it would be devastating. Pietro had a good feeling about this place though. Wanda may have been the one with powers that looked into minds and hearts, but Pietro had a good gut instinct.</p>
<p>His gut said this was real.</p>
<p>"Morning, Maximoffs!" They glanced over to see Sam step out of the elevator. He was the one who had been training them anytime Clint, Natasha, or Steve were busy. Pietro liked Sam. The man was easy to talk to and was good at setting their minds at ease. Wanda said he had a good heart. "You ready for some hand to hand combat?"</p>
<p>"I thought we had today off, bird man?" Pietro replied.</p>
<p>"That's <em>Clint's</em> nickname."</p>
<p>Pietro shook his head, "No, no. He's <em>old man</em>."</p>
<p>Sam paused for a minute than nodded, "You know what? I'm cool with that." He clapped his hands and came closer, "And as for training? It <em>was</em> your day off, but sometimes life gives you a curveball."</p>
<p>"I can dodge bullets, I think I can dodge this curveball."</p>
<p>Wanda chuckled, "Are we allowed time to change?"</p>
<p>"I will allow it." Sam nodded. "Especially since we gotta wait for Nat to come back from brunch anyways."</p>
<p>"Her alone?" Wanda asked curiously.</p>
<p>"Nah, she went to meet up with a friend of ours. Her name is Aj. You guys will probably meet her soon enough. <em>I hope</em>." Sam mumbled the last bit.</p>
<p>Wanda and Pietro shared a look before heading to their rooms to change. He ducked into the door before his sister's room and began to peel off his shirt. He knew plenty about this Aj. Wanda could see the topic of this woman weighing heavy on the hearts and minds of every Avenger. They were still unclear of the entire story, but from what Wanda picked up on there had been a fight and she had left.</p>
<p>Pietro shrugged on a tank top and changed into a pair of joggers. He hoped this Aj woman came to the Compound soon. For one, he was eager to meet a new face, but more than that he wanted this cloud of depression to be lifted. The pain of missing her was loud enough to give Wanda a headache if she didn't focus enough on something else. They would really be able to settle in and make this their home once Wanda could put down that last wall.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Day #34:</strong>
</p>
<p>34 days. It had taken <em>34 days</em> for Clint to show up at Alex's door. Technically only 33 because he was here at 10 in the morning, but it was still impressive. I set a coffee mug in front of Clint, who was sitting at the dining room table, then sat down across from him with a cup of my own.</p>
<p>"Missed you, trash man." I smiled at him.</p>
<p>Clint smirked, "And I missed your mocking. Kind of."</p>
<p>I took a quick sip before speaking, "I'm surprised it took you this long to come talk to me. I expected you in the first week."</p>
<p>"I planned on giving you just a week, but Natasha threatened to <em>disembowel</em> <em>me</em> if I didn't leave you alone. Something about you coming to terms with this yourself and me being an aggravating asshole." Clint shrugged and I chuckled. Natasha was rarely wrong. He nodded to me, "How have you been?"</p>
<p>"Working the bar. Keeping busy."</p>
<p>"You done punishing yourself?"</p>
<p>"<em>Right to the point</em>…" I sighed.</p>
<p>He quickly threw his hands up to stop my words in my tracks. Clint cleared his throat, situated himself in his chair, and then folded his hands together in front of him. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he just lifted his chin up at me. It looked like I was about to be interviewed except I was in a pair of sweatpants rather than fancy clothes, and Clint had his usual number of band-aids on his face.</p>
<p>"I am going to lecture to you right now." Clint started.</p>
<p>"Thanks for the warning? Anything I can do to skip this part of the conversation?"</p>
<p>"I've figured it out, Aj. Here's the game plan. I can't talk to you about Steve." Clint said firmly and my eyes widened in surprise. He continued, "That's a mess that even <em>my</em> skills can't handle and going down that path is just gonna make you clam up. Tony on the other hand…" I pressed my lips together, and Clint just stared at me for a second. "Aj, Tony is <em>hurting</em>."</p>
<p>"Clint, I know that—"</p>
<p>"Not for the reasons you're thinking." Clint interrupted. "He's still upset about his parents obviously, but the guy is <em>spiraling</em> because he's guilty about hurting <em>you</em>." My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "He won't tell any of us what he said to you that he thinks is so <em>damning—</em>which, maybe that's a good thing because it'd probably piss me off." He mumbled the lats bit to himself before continuing<em>. "—</em> but the guy is a <em>wreck</em>. Pepper says he barely eats, barely sleeps, and when I say that I mean less than his usual shitty levels of sleeping and eating."</p>
<p>I frowned at this news. Tony shouldn't be beating himself up about anything. I was sure it was because of what he said about my family, about people leaving me, but weeks ago I had decided he didn't mean it. As much as my self-hatred wanted to take it to heart, my logical brain couldn't ignore the mountains of evidence against it. Every good memory, every laugh, every touch, every moment of shared pain and comfort was proof that Tony cared about me. Just like I cared about him.</p>
<p>"I don't want him to feel guilty." I said softly.</p>
<p>"Which is <em>why</em> you need to go <em>talk to him</em>." Clint said firmly. "For both your sake's. You and Tony are the <em>same</em> damn person. Stubborn<em>, </em>temperamental<em>, soft hearted</em>." Clint scoffed. "If I hadn't seen your birth certificate myself—"</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes in confusion, "Wait, <em>why</em> were you looking at my birth certificate?"</p>
<p>"—then I would've assumed you were a long, lost Stark." He finished, ignoring my question. Clint leaned forward on the table, "Look, Aj, I may have been the one who brought you into the Tower, and be aware that I will <em>never</em> let anyone forget that fact, but… Tony and you just <em>click</em>. You get him and he gets you on some weird molecular level and that's why I know, that <em>you</em> know, you need to talk to him. At this point, the only person Tony is going to listen to is <em>you</em>, and the only person you're going to listen to is <em>him</em>. Both of you are just being stubborn and waiting for the other to blink. It's like the staring contest from hell."</p>
<p>I hummed in thought. There were tons of moments where I wanted to call Tony up and apologize to him again about being the one to break the news to him and break his heart. Every single time I thought about it though, my brain told me that I needed to wait for him to approach me. I didn't want to rush him. According to Clint though, maybe Tony was doing the exact same thing towards me. At this rate, we'd spend the rest of eternity waiting for the other to reach their hand out first.</p>
<p>As for Steve? I wasn't equipped to handle that one right now either.</p>
<p>"Tony is at the Compound today." Clint spoke up. "Working on some equipment or something. You should go talk to him."</p>
<p>"What makes you so sure about this, Clint?" I asked quietly. If I went to the Compound, only for the worst case scenario to happen, to see that same look of anger in his eyes, I don't think I could survive that.</p>
<p>Clint chuckled, "Tony hasn't been at the Compound with us. He'll swing by every few days though to work in the lab, <em>and</em>… set up <em>your</em> apartment. Everyone else is settled in, and Tony has taken it upon himself to furnish your place and make sure it's <em>perfect</em>. It's kind of become an <em>Aj shrine</em>. Honestly, it's a little creepy."</p>
<p>"Yeah, okay." I said with a nod.</p>
<p>In response, he beamed at me, "<em>Yeah</em>?"</p>
<p>Clint jumped up and I watched as he chugged his entire mug of coffee in one go. My eyes went from impressed to concerned. He waved me off, "It's been a long month and I have a mission in like 45 minutes so…"</p>
<p>"A mission?" I asked in worry. Clint waved me off and motioned for me to put real clothes on. Quickly, I traded the pajamas for distressed jean shorts, ones that were only distressed because they were old as shit not because I was fashionable, and a black tank top. As I ran a hand through my messy hair, Clint threw my leather jacket at me hitting me right in the face, "<em>Oof</em>."</p>
<p>Clint snapped his fingers, "Come on, come on, come on."</p>
<p>"Within twenty minutes you have made me regret missing you this month." I told him and the archer just gave me a wide, smug grin. Clint walked over to the coffee table and began to shove things into my small, light blue purse.</p>
<p>He tossed in my wallet, phone, and then picked up the burner phone to show me. I stiffened at the sight of him holding it, "Is this your Bucky hotline?"</p>
<p>"It doesn't work." I mumbled and took it from his hand in embarrassment. Quickly, I shoved it into the purse so it was out of sight and wrapped my purse around my shoulders.</p>
<p>"Then why do you keep it?" Clint questioned while he pushed me out the door. I didn't answer and he swapped to an easier question, "How's your shoulder doing?"</p>
<p>I shrugged and then held my arms out before waving them around. There was only a slight ache when I rotated my arm backwards. The bullet hole had healed up nicely and it was why I had sent Dr. Escu a shit ton of money from my bank account. Enough that my bank had called me up immediately afterwards to see if my identity had been stolen.</p>
<p>"So, what's the mission?" I asked when I crawled into his passenger seat. It felt odd to be in such a nice car again. Alex's vehicle was made up of more duct tape than metal.</p>
<p>Clint pulled onto the street and smirked, "Oh, Aj, don't you remember? If I tell you then I'll have to kill you."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'd like to see you try." I snorted.</p>
<p>"Oh, I missed you, kid."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The Compound looked different. It was busy with life this time. The tarmac filled with quinjets and a couple helicopters while people milled about both in and out. The crowds were a collection of business clothes and SHIELD uniforms. Clint glanced over at me and nodded, "Yeah, you missed a good bit."</p>
<p>"Apparently." I mumbled. He pulled up to the curb, and I grinned when I saw Natasha walking towards the car. I jumped out to greet her. "Nat!"</p>
<p>"Glad to see you on campus, <em>сестра</em>." She replied and let me pull her into a tight hug. Natasha had on a tan leather jacket and jeans, but she had a mission go bag hanging off her shoulder. I pulled back and she raised an eyebrow at me, "Although, I'm a little upset that Clint managed to get you on campus, and I couldn't. It means I lost my bet to Sam."</p>
<p>I smirked, "Hey, it's nothing personal. Clint's just a lot more annoying than you."</p>
<p>"That's mean." Clint added as he walked around his car to join us. "You ready, Tash?"</p>
<p>She nodded and he took her bag from her before putting it into the trunk of his car. I narrowed my eyes at the action and then looked back to Natasha, "Are you guys leaving now?"</p>
<p>"We are."</p>
<p>"And you're driving?"</p>
<p>"Sorry, no spoilers, but I'll say hi to Daisy for you." She chirped with a wink while Clint made a strangled noise of disbelief from the trunk. We both ignored him with ease.</p>
<p>"Wait, wait, wait…" I mumbled as my eyes darted from one spy to the other then to the Compound behind Natasha, "Y'all aren't coming into the Compound with me?"</p>
<p>Clint wrapped his arm around my shoulder and shifted so his whole weight was leaning against me. I grunted and held him up shakily, "You're a big girl, Aj. Don't worry so much, you'll get wrinkle lines." He poked my forehead then smirked and motioned to me. "Also, you need to start working out again. This is pathetic."</p>
<p>I scoffed then stepped back and watched as Clint pathetically flailed once before hitting the ground with a grunt. Natasha shook her head while looking down on her boyfriend with nothing but love and amusement. Nervously, I tugged on the braided bracelets around my left wrist, "How long are you guys gonna be gone?"</p>
<p>"Sorry." Clint said while pushing himself up off the ground. "Unlike Tasha, I will reveal no more secrets. Plus, we gotta go now because if we're late again then Fury is gonna rip us a new one."</p>
<p>"You. Rip <em>you</em> a new one." Natasha corrected. She turned to me, "You're going to be fine, and I'm looking forward to family dinner when we get back in a <em>week</em>."</p>
<p>"These are trade secrets, Tash!"</p>
<p>Again, Clint's complaint was ignored. I chuckled, my nerves still not calm, and pulled her into another hug. This time a good-bye one. I was already nervous about seeing Tony again. Knowing that Clint and Natasha were going to be out on a potentially dangerous mission only made me worry more. Clint scooped me into a hug as soon as his girlfriend let me go.</p>
<p>"Let me know if Tony or Steve act like a dick." Clint called out as he backpedaled to the driver's side of the car. I laughed at his words and he winked at me, "I'll come back and beat the shit outta them."</p>
<p>"Gee, thanks, <em>dad</em>." I replied dryly. He climbed in with a chuckle of his own, and I stayed in my spot to watch them drive off. As the car disappeared out of sight, leaving me by the curb with no one I knew in sight, I realized that I had sort of been conned into this. Yes, I wanted to talk to Tony, but now I had no escape route whatsoever in case I backed out. This is what I get for trusting a couple of spies, I suppose.</p>
<p>I sighed and turned to start the long walk across campus to the recreational building. Right now, the game plan was talk to Tony and try to fix the mess between us. Apologize again for dropping such a bombshell on him and offer him <em>anything</em> he wanted as an olive branch.</p>
<p>When it came to Steve? Well, the plan with him was to avoid him like he was the devil himself. If I so much as made eye contact with Steve Rogers right now I'd <em>die</em>. Looking into his clear blue eyes was only going to remind me of my terrible sins.</p>
<p>There was a weird mix of people that I passed. Some greeted me with warm smiles and others looked me over skeptically. If Tony was here at the Compound that probably meant Happy was here as well. He was head of security which meant if I got arrested for trespassing in the next five minutes I'd have at least one friendly face to bail me out.</p>
<p>I walked through the large glass, automatic doors and into the main lobby. This was the first time I was seeing this space as it was supposed to be, and it was impressive as hell. The lobby's ceiling was high, being both the first and second floor, and it was filled with various workers. I knew the campus was the workspace of SHIELD agents, Stark Industries employees, and new employees hired to manage Avengers work. It was a conglomerate of big names.</p>
<p>If I wandered to the left I'd eventually run into the auditorium, if I went straight I'd wind up in the cafeteria, and to my right was a huge information desk with receptionists stationed behind it. Do I just go up to my apartment? Did I still have access? Should I call Tony's cellphone? Maybe I could just go to the information desk and specifically ask where Iron Man and Captain America were so I could find the first and hide from the second. Although, if I did that then the receptionists would probably call security on me since this was my first time in the building with the lights on. I don't think they'd recognize me.</p>
<p>I half jogged over and one of the receptionist's looked up and offered me a greeting, "Hi! How can I help you?"</p>
<p>"I'm looking for Mr. Stark." I asked.</p>
<p>"May I ask the reason why? Do you have an appointment?"</p>
<p>"No, I don't." I replied with a sigh. "If you could just—just call him or maybe <em>I</em> should've just called him." The receptionist gave me a confused look and I didn't blame her. I was also confusing myself. This was a classic '<em>you're overthinking this, you dumbass'</em> moment. While I was known for keeping my calm against people who wanted to beat my face into a bloody pulp, I was <em>not</em> known for being cool and collected in situations like this. "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot, and uh—"</p>
<p>"<em>Aj</em>?"</p>
<p>I whipped around in time to see Beth pause in her steps and point at me in surprise. She had a purse hanging from her arm and her cell phone in her hand. The young girl's hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she had on a sleeveless white sweater and a pair of light wash mom jeans. It wasn't the girl's usual bubbly style. Actually, the outfit reminded me a lot of something I had hanging in my own closet.</p>
<p>"Beth, hey." I thanked the still confused receptionist and then walked towards her with a relieved smile, "I'm so glad I ran into you."</p>
<p>"What are you…What are you doing here?" She asked skeptically while glancing around the room. "Is everything okay?"</p>
<p>I nodded and crossed my arms, "Yeah! It's great. I just…um, you look great! And you've been doing really good work on the PR front."</p>
<p>"Thanks." Beth gave me a kind smile. She glanced down at herself, "Nat took me shopping the other day. Picked out some outfits for me, you know?"</p>
<p>I did know, and if I hadn't just been outside hugging the red head I'd be a little jealous. Not that I should be. Not that sweet, little Beth deserved such a harsh emotion from me. I cleared my throat and moved onto the task at hand, "I was looking for Tony. Do you know where he might be?"</p>
<p>Beth hesitated, "I…I do. I was heading there now."</p>
<p>"Great!" I grinned. "Lemme guess, his lab? I probably should've just assumed that in the beginning."</p>
<p>"No, he's not, but…" Beth glanced around again before taking a step toward me. She was giving me a soft smile, but there was something off in her eyes. Pity? Regardless of the emotion, my gut told me there was a red flag I needed to be wary of. It didn't recognize what the red flag was, but something was wrong. "I don't think that's a good idea."</p>
<p>I blinked in shock at her words, "I'm…sorry?"</p>
<p>"It's just…" Beth sighed, "Things have still been kind of tense, and we're finally settling down again. I don't know if you seeing him is going to help anything."</p>
<p>"Clint <em>brought</em> me here. Nat <em>ushered</em> me in." I replied with a shake of my head. "<em>They</em> seem to think it's a good idea."</p>
<p>Beth shrugged, "They aren't the ones you <em>betrayed</em>."</p>
<p>The words felt a lot like a bucket of ice water had suddenly being poured over me. It didn't seem to match the mental image of Beth that I had created in my min. I opened my mouth to speak, but it's not like I had any words to argue with.</p>
<p>She wasn't wrong.</p>
<p>"I…I know, but I want—<em>need</em> to talk to Tony." I tried again.</p>
<p>"Does he want to talk to you?" Beth countered. A bubble of anger rose in my throat. The first sliver of my most common emotion showing it's face after a long 34 days. I clenched my jaw and bit back a snide remark. I don't know what had gotten into Beth, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. "How about I call him and see if he's okay with this first?"</p>
<p>I pulled my own phone out of my purse and held it up with a smirk, "How about I call and ask?"</p>
<p>Beth didn't let her steady gaze waver, but we both jumped in surprise when the phone in my hand started to loudly ring. I flipped it around to look at it and noticed the call was from Amber. I hadn't talked to her in a while so the random call was unusual.</p>
<p>"Don't… Don't move." I pointed at Beth as she raised her own phone to her ear. I stepped away and turned around, "Amber? What's—"</p>
<p>"<em>Have you heard from my sister!?"</em></p>
<p>I shook my head in confusion, "Hammer— I mean, Angela? No, I haven't talked to her since last year. Right before I met you."</p>
<p>"<em>Oh my God. Oh my God</em>." Amber was hyperventilating across the line. She was saying more, but the words were impossible to understand between her gasping sobs.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey! Amber I <em>need</em> you to take a deep breath. <em>What's going on</em>?"</p>
<p>"<em>Angela left me a voicemail early this morning. I missed the call because I was in a yoga class, I always go after I drop Mj off at school and I—I listened to the voicemail and she was—oh my God, Aj</em>." Amber began to cry again, and I reassured her again so she could continue. "<em>She was saying good-bye! She was talking about how she took your advice and made a mistake and now she was—she was in danger. It was a good-bye message, Aj. My sister was telling me good-bye as if she were dying! What is happening?!</em>"</p>
<p>I sucked in a sharp breath and ran through scenarios. Followed my advice? I don't remember giving her any kind of advice. The last time I talked to her was when we sat in the drunk tank together. What had we talked about? My mind reached for a memory and I vaguely remember mentioning the fighting ring in DC... <em>Oh, shit.</em></p>
<p>"Amber, listen to—<em>Amber</em>!" I called out on the phone. "Take a deep breath, okay? I think…I think I know where she is."</p>
<p>"<em>Where? Do we call the police and send them there or—"</em></p>
<p>"Amber." I sighed and shook my head. This was <em>my</em> mess. The sisters were <em>my</em> friends. "Do <em>not</em> call the police. I am going to go get her."</p>
<p>"<em>You are</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yes. I'm gonna go get her and bring her back to you." I said firmly. "But I need you to stay calm. Don't call anyone about this. Give me…Give me 72 hours and if you don't hear from me after that then you can call the police."</p>
<p>Amber gasped, "<em>If I don't hear from you? Aj, this sounds dangerous I don't know if</em>—"</p>
<p>"I'm her best bet, Amber." I said softly. "I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"</p>
<p>There was silence over the end before she sniffled and agreed to my plan. I promised I'd get back to her soon and hung up. <em>Shit</em>. Getting to DC was nearly a four hour drive, and I wouldn't be able to enter the ring right off the bat. I'd have to find some contacts and see what was happening before I could walk in and find Angela.</p>
<p>I turned back around to see Beth still on the phone. She spoke, "—okay. I will, sir."</p>
<p>She hung up the phone and we both took a few steps forward to face off again. Beth crossed her arms and shot me another fake, empathetic look, "I called Tony. He isn't ready yet, Aj. You shouldn't push this. Give it time."</p>
<p>I didn't believe a single word she said.</p>
<p>"I'm gonna walk away now which is gonna make you think that you won this argument, but I want to <em>assure</em> you that you did not." I said with a tight smile. "It's just <em>pure coincidence</em> that I have somewhere to be." Beth just smirked at me. I scoffed, "On another note, do you happen to know if Ubers come all the way out here?"</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve crossed the training gym as quickly as he could, dodging Sam who was walking Pietro through some self-defensive moves, and toward the other side where Tony had shown his face only to try and leave again. The genius had been avoiding him for a month now, and he was tired of it.</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>!" He barked out. Tony, surprisingly, slowed his pace until he had come to a stop, but he didn't turn around to make eye contact with him. "We need to talk."</p>
<p>He chuckled dryly and spun on his heel. Tony motioned around them, "What part of me sneaking in quietly and keeping close to the wall and out of sight makes you think I wanna talk to you, <em>Captain</em>?"</p>
<p>If the angry temperament, sharp tone, and avoidance hadn't been clue enough, Steve knew Tony was pissed at him because the man only ever referred to him as Captain when he was really upset at him about something. Steve tried not to let that deter him, "I know you're upset, Tony. With the news you got—"</p>
<p>Tony let out a dry laugh and shook his head, "You do <em>not</em> want to talk to me about that. Not right now. Not when you're close enough for me to hit."</p>
<p>"Is this…Is this about Aj?" Steve asked. Admittedly, his own anger had cooled significantly. Talking to Sam about it had helped. Steve could see why Aj hadn't told him the truth. She was trying to protect Bucky. He could understand that, relate to that. Steve probably should've gone to see her, talk to her, days ago, but for some reason he still couldn't bring himself to leave the Compound. Everyone had pressed for him to do so, but every time he planned to go he always ended up stopping short of the campus exit.</p>
<p>Tony sucked in a sharp breath, and Steve prepared for the upcoming tirade, before he could get into it though, a soft voice cleared her throat beside them. They both looked over to see Beth standing there.</p>
<p>"Hey, Beth." Steve nodded in greeting.</p>
<p>"Hi, sorry to interrupt, Mr. Stark I wanted to talk to you about that upcoming conference?" Beth said.</p>
<p>Tony clenched his jaw, glaring at Steve for a moment longer, before turning to the girl, "Yeah, fine. I'll meet you in my lab. Hey—" He snapped his fingers and nodded toward her, "I got paged by the front desk. Someone was there for me. Janice mentioned whoever it was ended up talking to you?"</p>
<p>"Oh, don't worry. I took care of that. It was just a magazine reporter looking for a quote."</p>
<p>Tony nodded, and Steve cut in, "Tony, we still need to talk. Please."</p>
<p>"Didn't you hear? <em>I'm busy</em>."</p>
<p>"You're staying for a few more days, right?" Steve questioned, but Tony didn't bother answering. He sighed and added on, "We're running an overnight training mission soon. Taking Pietro and Wanda out into the field for some low stress ops. You're more than welcome to join."</p>
<p>Tony clenched his jaw once more before turning on his heel and leaving. Beth gave him a soft smile, set her hand on his arm, then hurried after the man. As Steve watched Tony disappear from sight he couldn't help but think that Aj would know exactly what to say or do in this situation.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>People were taking a wide berth as they walked around him. He didn't blame them. Bucky knew how he looked right now. His outer appearance matched his inner shattered mind. The last month had been a whirlwind. He couldn't even count the days. Nights were filled with nightmares and days were filled with trying to get a grasp on who he was.</p>
<p><em>Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes</em>.</p>
<p>He'd repeat the name over and over and over again, but it wouldn't click. Not like it used to. It was like the Soldier had took home in the forefront of his mind. Burrowed himself deep. Watching and waiting, but what for he didn't know. It scared him.</p>
<p>He finally made it to his small, rundown apartment and he took the time to lock the door and barricade it behind him. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he did that to keep people out or as a poor attempt to keep himself in.</p>
<p>He stumbled across the room to lean on the kitchen island counter. It was the only tabletop in the small room he called home. Bucky leaned against it, closed his eyes, and tried to find an anchor. He took in a slow breath, and when he looked up the Soldier was standing in front of him on the other side of the island. The Soldier wore the tactical gear he had thrown away long ago with his silver arm on full display. The blood red star mocking him. Bucky knew, <em>he knew</em>, that this wasn't real. He knew it wasn't real. He knew it wasn't real.</p>
<p>"<em>You can't kill me</em>." The Soldier said in Russian. He shook his head, refusing to reply back, and the hallucination spoke again, "<em>Let me out. I will complete our mission. You won't be in control, you won't be in pain.</em>"</p>
<p>Bucky slammed his right hand onto the island counter and shook his head, mumbling under his breath, "No. <em>No</em>. Steve was our last mission. I won't let you hurt Steve. <em>I won't hurt Steve</em>."</p>
<p>"<em>Give me control."</em> The Soldier said. He blinked and suddenly the Soldier stood beside him, breathing down his neck. Bucky felt his own breath catch in his throat. Panic welling up as he felt his handle on reality slipping away. "<em>I will complete our mission</em>."</p>
<p>His metal arm began to move on its own accord. Fingers flexing against his will. Bucky gasped, "<em>No</em>!" He pushed back and slammed his left arm into the counter. It exploded in wooden shards and chunks of tile leaving a hole in it. "No, no, no, no."</p>
<p>Bucky stumbled back, falling to his ass, and buried his hands into his hair. His name was Bucky Barnes. <em>He was Bucky Barnes</em>. He was in control, not the Soldier. Bucky lifted his head up and his watery eyes took in the space around him. The Soldier was nowhere in sight. He let out a breath of relief that turned into a shaky sob as he fell backwards to stare at the ceiling above him.</p>
<p>He was in the dark. He was lost in the dark, and this time there was no light waiting for him. Bucky knew this was his fate, and he knew he deserved it, but that didn't lessen any of the agony that tore into his chest leaving him breathless.</p>
<p>Suddenly, Bucky pushed himself up. A thought hit him. It was intrusive, something that crawled out of the depths of his mind on its own. It was a sharp desire, a craving, a desperate need. One last sliver of hope. Bucky crawled across the floor looking for the loose floorboard.</p>
<p>"<em>Pathetic</em>." The Soldier spat out. Bucky lifted his gaze to see him standing, foreboding, above the loose panel of wood. His Russian was sharp and disgusted, "<em>Weak</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky leveled a glare, clenched his teeth, and growled, "<em>Fuck you</em>."</p>
<p>He threw the loose floorboard up and reached in to dig for an object he hadn't touched in… he didn't even know how long. Days blurred together. Time lost its meaning when you couldn't even keep track of who you were. The small burner phone looked comical in his large hand. This was selfish of him. He was Bucky Barnes and apparently Bucky Barnes was a selfish man.</p>
<p>When he flipped the phone open, he wasn't entirely sure what the plan was. He didn't deserve to call the woman he abandoned in an airport. Bucky had hurt her with his actions, and the fact that he was crawling back to her, desperate for comfort, was exactly what the Soldier said it was. <em>It was pathetic</em>.</p>
<p>Bucky was caught off guard when, after turning the phone on, he saw a message stating he had 34 missed calls, 34 voicemails. The Soldier was leaning over his shoulder now, hissing pleas of control, in his ear. Bucky clicked on the first voicemail and brought it to his opposite ear.</p>
<p>"<em>Hi. I'm sorry for calling. I just didn't know—I didn't know what else to do</em>." Hearing Aj's voice felt a lot like his head had finally broken the surface of a deep, dark ocean and allowed him one clarifying breath. "<em>I'm at a friend's apartment right now. Made it home safe. Um, I know you said we shouldn't talk, but</em>…"</p>
<p>When that voicemail ended, he clicked on the next.</p>
<p>Then the next, and the next, and the next.</p>
<p>"—<em>broke a beer bottle over a guy's head today. That was kind of fun. I will say he was being a total dick and deserved it though so feel no pity for that assclown</em>—"</p>
<p>"—<em>do you ever notice something and for some odd reason it reminds you of a moment that you didn't even know was tied to it? Today, I walked by this flower shop and I thought of you. Which sounds weird and maybe a little creepy, but I swear it wasn't. It took me a while, but I remembered what it was. In that market? The woman selling jewelry had this really strong floral perfume—</em>"</p>
<p>"—<em>I haven't talked to Steve in a long time. About the same time I haven't spoken to you, actually. I miss him. I don't know how you've gone so long without seeing or talking to him. It's been two weeks and I'm dying</em>—"</p>
<p>"—<em>you'd like Alex. I told them about you. Only the good stuff, don't worry. They keep threatening to beat every Avenger with a baseball bat, but they like you. That's gotta be high praise, right? They want to meet you</em>—"</p>
<p>"—<em>had brunch with Nat. Alex drooled over her all through it, but it was nice to see her again. Sometimes, it's hard to realize how much you miss someone until the moment you see them again. Anyways, I think you and Nat would get along really well. Actually, let me clarify, I think the two of you would either be best friends, or you'd try to kill one another. I don't think there's a middle ground</em>—"</p>
<p>"—<em>talked to Granny earlier. She's still watching the kids which is weird, but it's not like I have Aubrey's number to call and ask what the fuck she's doing. Besides, I know like twelve people who would immediately tell me calling her is a bad idea so…I opted out of that</em>—"</p>
<p>With every voicemail, Bucky felt lighter. He smiled. He laughed. Suddenly, he couldn't feel the Soldier standing over his shoulder. Bucky did feel the warm tears dripping down his cheeks though. If Aj could chase away his demons so quickly, he wondered if she could do it long enough to see Steve. Long enough to give his best friend a real good-bye and warn him of the incomplete mission stuck on a loop in the back of his head.</p>
<p>There was one more voicemail left, and Bucky was surprised to see that it was only a few hours old. All the calls usually came in around the same time, late in the evening for her, but this one would've been during the morning. He brought the phone to his ear.</p>
<p>"<em>Hey, Buck. Me again. I'm sitting in an Uber right now. It's, uh, it's basically a cab. Anyways, I've been thinking… I think I know why I've been calling you every day and leaving a message I know you won't get. It's kind of like your notebooks. I just…keeping a record of things helps. It's helped me this past month at least, and it's been a rough month, hah. This…This voicemail is a little different though. This is…This is my life raft. I have to do something dangerous—" </em>Bucky felt himself stiffen<em> "—I need to go to a fighting ring. Save a friend. It's my fault she's even there, but… I'm terrified that I'm gonna like it too much. That I'm gonna get sucked back in." </em>There was a pause and it sounded like she was crying<em>. "I, uh, I'm hoping that by leaving this phone at Alex's place that it'll be my incentive to come home. It's pathetic that I cling to this damn thing the way I do, but… I gotta try something. I don't want to be who I used to be... I like to think I've changed, but I guess this will be the ultimate test, huh? Well, I'm almost back at Alex's place and the Uber driver is looking at me like I'm crazy—yeah, I see you peeking at me dude, I'm a woman having a mental breakdown cut me some slack… I guess this will either be my last voicemail, or I'll be back in a couple days. Bye.</em>"</p>
<p>Bucky was standing now. He trusted Aj's strength. She may not have believed in herself, but he did. Aj would be strong enough to walk into that ring and walk back out. Bucky had no doubt about that. The thought of her fighting was worrisome too, but he knew she was a force to be reckoned with. Bucky couldn't explain the dread and fear that sat in his gut like a heavy rock. He couldn't pin it to a specific action or word that Aj had said. It was just a vague feeling of terror. A <em>dreadful</em> instinct.</p>
<p>Something bad was going to happen.</p>
<p>Aj was in danger.</p>
<p>He just knew it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. 11:38 PM</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Y'all know the deal. I love you pls leave me comments/reviews!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>                                                                </p>
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<p><em>"Yes...Yes. This is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it...This Land. </em>I think we should call it...your grave!<em> Ah! Curse your sudden, but inevitable betrayal!" -Wash (Firefly)</em></p>
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<p>
  <strong>[5:00 PM]</strong>
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<p>One of the many perks of being friends with Alex was that they somehow knew everyone. There was no logical explanation as to how they had the number of contacts they did, or why they all owed them some inexplicable favor, but Alex did. A part of me was a little terrified of the connections they had, but that was overshadowed by the relief that for some reason they just liked me and helped me out of the goodness of their heart.</p>
<p>"<em>I got bad news for you</em>." Alex said over the phone.</p>
<p>I was leaning against the hood of their car in the boondocks of Washington DC waiting for this information. It hadn't taken me long to get to DC yesterday. An hour to pack up some necessities, another hour to convince Alex that this wasn't a suicide run, and four hours on the road. At that point I could've found the ring and run in blind, but despite popular belief I was not an idiot. So, I had found a place to park Alex's car and lay low.</p>
<p>"We knew it was gonna be bad news, Alex."</p>
<p>"<em>Yeah, no, this is bad, bad news though, Aj</em>." Alex replied. "<em>DC is having a fire sale</em>."</p>
<p>I stiffened in surprise, "<em>What</em>? I thought they stopped that shit."</p>
<p>"<em>Apparently not</em>." Alex mumbled. A fire sale was the nickname for a competition where the last man standing won a prize. The prize was usually some poor, young woman held against her will though. Typically, one that was hooked on enough drugs that they didn't understand what was going on or a fighter who had made too many mistakes.</p>
<p>"That explains why Angela called her sister saying good-bye." I sighed and didn't bother to hide my disgust at the situation. Fire sales brought out the sleaziest, worst of the worst kind of men, and that's usually what the competitors consisted of. <em>Men</em>. No woman who had any understanding of a fire sale participated. For the most part, at least. We were criminals and assholes, but that shit was a new level of evil. It was solidarity amongst the female fighters. We all knew that our asses could've ended up as some '<em>prize</em>' just as easily. "You know, I hate Boss with every atom of who I am, but I'll commend him for never dealing in fire sales."</p>
<p>Alex scoffed, "<em>The only reason he didn't was because the dick didn't like to share</em>."</p>
<p>I tilted my head with a small shrug. They weren't wrong. I quickly cleared my throat, "There's good news to this though. It makes my job real easy. All I have to do is walk in and pick up Angela."</p>
<p>"<em>No, you have to walk in, fight a crowd of assholes, most who play dirty, and then hope they let you walk out with her instead of just killing you</em>."</p>
<p>"Po-<em>tay</em>-to, Po-<em>tah</em>-to." I responded. Alex mumbled under their breath on the other end of the line. "When is it going down?"</p>
<p>"<em>Tonight. 9 PM. You know where the main ring entrance is</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, this isn't my first rodeo with DC. Has been a while though." I said. It's been three years since I visited the DC ring. Boss had dragged me along on what he called a business trip, but I think it had been more an excuse to show me off to all his slimy, criminal friends. "Any other tips?"</p>
<p>Alex hummed, "<em>Yeah, call your Avenger friends to deal with this instead of throwing yourself headfirst into danger</em>."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "Bye, Alex."</p>
<p>Their advice wasn't bad? Clint and Natasha were on mission though so I didn't want to bother them, Thor was off world, Sam would lay the therapy on thick, Tony would be awkward since I hadn't cleared the air with him yet, and I would bite my own tongue off before asking Steve for help.</p>
<p><em>'</em> <em>Hey, Steve, I know I ruined your chance of finding your brother from another mother, best friend, most important person in the world to you, but do you think you can punch a few people in the face for me? Yeah, thanks.' </em></p>
<p>No thanks.</p>
<p>A part of me wondered if there was more to that though. I had all these excuses as to why reaching out for help would be a terrible, no good, bad idea, but were they really just that? Excuses? Maybe a part of me wanted to deal with this on my own. Maybe this decision was being made by the monster that sat in the back of my head. I reasoned with myself and believed this choice was being made from the logical side of myself, but I was a very good liar. Especially to myself.</p>
<p>I glanced at my watch. 5:06 PM. That gave me enough time to get ready, eat some food, and take a nap before I threw myself back into the world of underground, illegal fighting.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p>
  <strong>[6:24 PM]</strong>
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<p>Tony's lab was a wreck and that was worrisome to him. Everyone knew that the lab was an extension of the man himself. There were times when various designs and prototypes would build up on his benches and cause a clutter. It meant Tony's full attention was on a project. Finding a collection of half-drunk coffee mugs meant he was frustrated and stuck. Finding empty bottles of liquor was a cry for help, and luckily that didn't happen often anymore. For the most part though, even on his worst days, Tony kept the lab itself clean. This was his <em>sanctuary</em>.</p>
<p>As Steve stepped into the room his eyes landed on used oil rags littering the floor, scattered papers and blueprints on benches precariously, to-go boxes of various kinds stacked up in multiple places. He had been in the lab for more than 48 hours now. Which, granted, wasn't the longest marathon he had undergone, but it was concerning all the same.</p>
<p>"Lab's closed, Captain." Tony called out without looking up from his work. Steve's friend was still wearing the suit he had on when he last spoke to him in the training gym, but now it was wrinkled and undone. "Come back never."</p>
<p>Steve stepped over an engine block to get closer. He rested his hands on the belt of his uniform, "Tony, <em>talk to me</em>. You need help, and I'm not leaving until you agree to leave with me. You need sleep, a shower, some real food…"</p>
<p>Tony turned to face him. His suit coat had been tossed aside, probably lost in the trash and junk surrounding them, and he had taken his tie off as well. The white button up shirt, stained with a splattering of oil, was unbuttoned at his neck, "Why do you keep trying this? I know you're a <em>stubborn bastard</em>, but come on, man. Take a <em>damn</em> hint."</p>
<p>"You're my friend. I care about you, Tony." Steve said firmly and tried to ignore the scoff Tony let out at the words. He clenched his jaw in frustration before forcing himself to relax, "Just talk to me. Is this still about…about what Aj told—"</p>
<p>"You talk to Aj recently?" Tony suddenly asked.</p>
<p>Steve liked it better when the man was just telling him to get out. He swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head. Steve wished he had a different answer, "No. I haven't. Have you?"</p>
<p>"Nope." Tony replied then shook his head. "I don't deserve her attention or forgiveness. Not after the shit I said to her." Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He had thought the man was still upset at Aj, not the other way around. "You should reach out to her. Talk to her."</p>
<p>Steve sighed and glanced down to his boots. Tony was right. The problem was that he should've reached out to her ages ago. Back when he first came to terms with his anger. Too much time had passed, and Steve didn't even know <em>how</em> to reach out. Steve wasn't sure what would happen if he saw Aj again. Either he'd look into those burning blue eyes and be hit with a wall of guilt at letting her go or he'd take one look at her and the anger would return. Steve wasn't sure which road he was more scared of.</p>
<p>"I can't." Steve said softly.</p>
<p>"<em>Why</em>?" Tony snapped. "Because the way I see it, and <em>believe me, Rogers</em>, I've looked at this a <em>hundred </em>different ways, you have <em>zero</em> right to be upset with her. In fact, you should be sending her a <em>goddamn</em> fruit basket."</p>
<p>Steve's eyes narrowed, "Look, I know I shouldn't have snapped at her. I should've taken a step back and let my anger cool before confronting her, but you can't deny what she did. Aj <em>lied</em> to me. She lied to me about <em>Bucky</em>—"</p>
<p>"She kept her <em>promise</em> to him. <em>Bucky</em>—" Tony spat the name out in distaste, "He made that choice for her. She just stayed loyal to him and can you blame her? <em>He saved her life</em>. What the <em>fuck</em> have you done for her again, Rogers? Because from where I'm standing all I see is you being a dick even though <em>she saved your life</em>."</p>
<p>Steve was lost now. Lost and frankly a little pissed. He shook his head, "Tony, I don't know what your problem is, but you need to either talk to me about it or stop being an ass." He scoffed. "And for the record, getting scolded by a man who can't swallow his pride and go talk to her either doesn't do much for me."</p>
<p>Tony tossed aside the wrench in his hand and stepped closer so he was nearly chest to chest with him. The man had a seething, barely concealed rage in his eyes. Steve had seen Tony angry before, but this was a whole new level of fury.</p>
<p>"I'm going to ask you something, and you better think <em>long and hard</em> about the answer, Rogers." Tony said between clenched teeth. "Did you know?"</p>
<p>It only took a few seconds for Steve to connect the dots. The question gave it all away. It explained exactly why Tony looked so murderous. Tony wasn't supposed to find out though. The secret had been burned away with the rest of Bucky's file. Tony had known for a month now that his parents had died at the hands of HYDRA, but Steve wondered how long he had known this new truth.</p>
<p>"Tony—"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." Tony snapped and shoved him back a step while continuing to approach himself. He pointed at him, "I didn't ask for an excuse or story. It's a yes or no question. <em>Did you know?</em>"</p>
<p>Steve sighed, "Yes."</p>
<p>Even though Tony already knew the answer to that question, the answer still looked like it caught him off guard. This hadn't been his intentions at all. Steve <em>never</em> wanted to hurt Tony. A part of him let the secret die out in an attempt to protect him. That was the justification he used to stave off guilt at least.</p>
<p>"<em>You fucking hypocrite</em>." Tony laughed, cold as ice. He shook his head, "You snap at Aj, <em>shun her</em> for a <em>month</em>, for keeping a secret from you. When you did—" he couldn't even finish his statement. Tony pressed his lips together into a tight line, his glare only deepening, then spoke, "How long have you known?"</p>
<p>Steve stepped forward, "You have to understand the situation, Tony. I—"</p>
<p>"<em>Jesus Christ, this again</em>!? Stop with the damn excuses and tell me <em>how long</em> <em>you fucking knew!?</em>" Tony snapped.</p>
<p>"Since DC. When we found a HYDRA scientist named Zola computerized in a military bunker. He said… He said a lot of things, showed the newspaper clipping of your parent's accident. I didn't connect the dots until Natasha got me Bucky's file. She had some KGB contacts—"</p>
<p>Tony's face broke in more pain, and his voice came out rough, "Did Natasha know too?"</p>
<p>"<em>No</em>." Steve said quickly, and it was the truth. "She didn't. Nat said I should be the first to go through the file, and after I did… I didn't let anyone look at it."</p>
<p>Tony closed his eyes and then set his hand over them in a pained fatigue. Steve tried to hold tight onto his justifications, but with every second that passed he felt the steady wall continue to crumble as guilt pounded on it.</p>
<p>"All this time…" Tony whispered to himself. He dropped his hand, opened his eyes, and the betrayal Steve saw reflecting back at him was gut-wrenching. It felt like the air had been sucked right out of his lungs. Tony shook his head, "I did the math. Aj found out and knew she had to tell me. <em>12 hours</em>. That's how long she held onto that secret. The moment we touch downed she found me and told me, but… but <em>you</em>. 7 months. <em>Wow</em>."</p>
<p>Steve stepped forward again, but Tony immediately took a step back, "Tony, I'm… I'm sorry—"</p>
<p>"Would you have <em>ever</em> told me you knew?" Tony asked. A tense pause built around them before he continued, "If I hadn't <em>outright</em> asked you… you would've just kept it to yourself."</p>
<p>It wasn't a question, and Steve couldn't deny it.</p>
<p>"Like I said, Rogers." Tony spoke and this time the desolate, pain in his voice had been replaced by cold steel. "You should thank Aj for saving your miserable life. Because if I had found this out on my own—if I had found out you knew and <em>never</em> told me—" Tony shook his head and his next words were pushed out with determination, "I would've fucking killed you, Steve."</p>
<p>Steve felt heartbroken. His mind supplied the memory of the two of them standing off against one another with the cradle between them. Neither of them wanted to make that first move, but the look in Tony's eyes now? Steve knew the man wouldn't hesitate to fire. Tony wouldn't take a second to think it over, he'd fire the repulsor straight at him, and Steve couldn't convince himself that he didn't deserve it.</p>
<p>"Tony, my intentions were <em>never</em> to hurt you. I thought—I thought maybe not knowing the truth would be kinder to you." Steve tried to share his line of thought. He desperately tried to reconnect. Tony had to understand. It was Bucky. <em>Bucky</em>. Wouldn't Tony do the same for Rhodey? Steve shook his head, "I have no good excuse, I know that, but…but it was Bucky, Tony. I <em>had</em> to find him, I had to <em>protect</em> him, and I knew that if <em>you knew</em>…" if Tony knew then he'd hate his best friend, and Steve couldn't stand the thought of someone he cared so deeply for wanting to kill the man who was always there for him. Through thick and thin. "I had to protect Bucky. He's my best friend. More than that, Tony, he's my family."</p>
<p>"<em>So was I</em>." Tony replied quietly. The words drenched in pain. Steve didn't know a single statement could make him feel like he was brought to his knees, but God… He racked his brain for something to say. An apology didn't seem good enough. Tony nodded once, his voice calm and level, "Get out of my lab, Steve."</p>
<p>Tony turned back to what he was doing. He hesitated only for a moment before turning on his own heel to leave the lab. Steve had a mission to go on. It was only a training mission. A string of night ops to test Pietro and Wanda in the field without risk of danger, and he was already late. Steve couldn't stop going over that conversation in his head though. Maybe Tony was right. He had been angry at Aj for keeping a secret from him when he had done the same thing to Tony this entire time. It hadn't been his intention. Not at all. Steve wanted to protect Tony from unnecessary pain while protecting Bucky. It seemed like so innocent of a decision at the time, and then, like most things that got buried, the thought had been long forgotten.</p>
<p>Steve wasn't quite sure where to go from here.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[9:01 PM]</strong>
</p>
<p>In New York, in order to get into the ring, if you weren't a regular, you had to go into this sketchy ass 24/7 laundromat that sat on top of the basement the ring sat in. There were various locations across the city, but the one I reigned in was the one directly under the laundromat that sprawled out via tunnels to various other basements. Essentially, it was shit. I was always aware of that, but standing in front of this high-end club to get into the DC ring just reminded me of that fact.</p>
<p>Loud music blasted out of the building as a line of people went around the building, waiting for the large bouncers to let them in. The crowd was dressed in mini dresses, suits, and various other degrees of dressed up and nice. It was a far cry from my sweatpants covering my spandex shorts and hoodie covering my sports bra.</p>
<p>With a shaky breath, I stalked up to the larger of the two bouncers who sneered at the sight of me. Unintimidated, I shot him a glare of my own, "Purple, cheetah print, dickhead." Then I shot him a smirk and motioned toward him, "The dumbass password was purple, cheetah print. The dickhead was just for you."</p>
<p>The man grunted once and then nodded me into the club. I rolled my shoulders and pressed past him into the loud building. My hands, shoved into my hoodie pocket, were shaking. I couldn't tell if it came from worry, fear, or, God forbid, excitement. Regardless of what it was, I needed to get back into this mindset. It's been a long time since I've walked through a ring and if I didn't figure out my shit before I got there… they were gonna eat me alive.</p>
<p>I pushed past a group of club goers and tried not to let the loud, obnoxious music get to me. According to my intel, the stairs leading down to the ring were somewhere by the VIP section. Which meant I got a chance to be stared at and judged before I got where I was going. That was always nice.</p>
<p>"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in." Resisting the urge to physically throw up in my mouth, I turned around to face Kyle Fucking Osbourne. He smirked at me, "Or should I say rat, <em>you snitch</em>."</p>
<p>I blinked in annoyance then lifted my hand up to my ear, "<em>What</em>? Sorry, I can't hear you over the noise!"</p>
<p>"I said—"</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?"</p>
<p>Kyle's nose flared with irritation, and I took pleasure in that fact that though his broken nose had healed it was still crooked as shit. He crossed his arms over his chest where he was wearing a t-shirt way too tight for him. The only man alive that could pull off that look was Steve Rogers.</p>
<p>"You look nervous." Kyle chuckled and I realized the thought of Steve must have softened my features. I pressed my lips together and tried to shove every thought or feeling for any Avenger right out of my skull. "What the hell are you doing here? Looking to snitch on another ring?"</p>
<p>I lifted my chin in determination, "I'm here to compete."</p>
<p>"You're gonna compete in the fire sale?" Kyle laughed loudly and the sound was worse than nails on a chalkboard to me. "I thought that you thought they were '<em>sexist'</em> and '<em>evil'</em> and '<em>a stain on humanity that only the worst of scum would participate in'</em>."</p>
<p>I nodded, "Yes, I did say all those things and you being here proves that I was on the money about it." Steeling myself again, I spoke, "Plus, I can't let any of you shitheads get your meaty claws on Angela." Kyle narrowed his eyes in confusion, and I bit back a groan, "Hammerhead, you ass."</p>
<p>"Oh!" Kyle grinned. "Yeah, I'm real excited about that. I've been trying to get my hands on that hot ass since—"</p>
<p>My hand snapped out and caught him in the throat. Kyle doubled over coughing and trying to suck in air. I leaned forward a little and spoke loudly, "<em>Hey</em>! What was that? I still can't hear you!"</p>
<p>"Small Fry. Still as violent as ever, and that <em>temper</em>."</p>
<p>God, I've been here less than ten minutes and I was already regretting everything. I slowly turned around to see another old face but in a very different way. The last time I saw this woman she was dressed like me, covered in bruises, and staring up at me from the floor in disdain. The only name I had for her was Glitter. Which was worse than even Small Fry or Hammerhead.</p>
<p>She had on a fancy suit without a shirt under it to show off her cleavage. Her dark hair was slicked back, big brown eyes accented with a thick, cat-eye purple eyeliner, and her lips were a dark, blood red.</p>
<p>"Glitter, hi. Long time, no see." I grinned.</p>
<p>"The name is Cherry." She glared at me with a cutting gaze.</p>
<p>I pressed my lips and nodded once, "That somehow sounds even <em>more</em> like a stripper name, but okay…"</p>
<p>"You have a lot of nerve coming to my ring." Glitter turned Cherry said smugly. It took a few moments for it to click in my head. <em>Her ring?</em> She stepped toward me, her heels making her tower over me, "I took over for George."</p>
<p>"Congratulations…" I mumbled to myself while simultaneously saying every curse word I knew in my head. This was a worst case scenario that I didn't even know could happen. Rarely did us little fighters make a name for ourselves. For her to jump from mediocre skilled fighter to the boss of a giant ring like DC was unheard of. The fact that this particular fighter personally hated me on an almost obsession like level was…well… Jesus, I knew tonight would be bad, but I didn't think it'd get so bad so fast.</p>
<p>"You've made quite the name for yourself, so I hear." Cherry chuckled. "Adopted by the <em>Avengers</em>. Do they know you're here tonight? Are they waiting outside? Ready to jump in when you send the signal?"</p>
<p>I crossed my arms, "No, they don't. The Avengers don't exactly… <em>approve</em> of my hobbies."</p>
<p>"Oh, I figured." Cherry pulled out her phone and I watched as she pulled something up. She flipped it around to show me with a smug smile, "According to Instagram, you're at family dinner right now."</p>
<p>The picture was taken from the Compound's dining room table. In it were two faces I didn't recognize, Sam, Steve, Clint, and Natasha. The caption was something cheesy about enjoying dinner, but it had to be a lie. Clint and Natasha were on mission which meant this had to be an old picture that Beth was probably posting. This could work for me though.</p>
<p>"Yeah, my general awfulness apparently doesn't fit in with the Avengers image." I shrugged. "They replaced me." The words felt bitter on my tongue, but I tried not to let that show. Saying my worst fear aloud made my heart ache. "So, I came to do what I do best. Bury my sorrows in blood."</p>
<p>Cherry's lips curled up in an amused smile, "You wanna fight in the fire sale? The one where I'm giving away your ring buddy as a prize?"</p>
<p>"Two birds, one stone." I replied and stepped forward, not bowing under her gaze, "I get catharsis <em>and </em>Hammerhead."</p>
<p>"If you win."</p>
<p>This time it was my turn to smirk, "Oh, I'll win. I think you know that though, Cherry. With all the times I kicked your ass, it surely made some sort of memory."</p>
<p>"Come with me." Cherry said with a smile, but I could see the anger in her eyes.</p>
<p>Kyle guffawed from behind her, "You're gonna let her join!?"</p>
<p>"Shut the fuck up, Osbourne." Cherry sneered.</p>
<p>As we walked past him, I winked at him, "See you in the ring."</p>
<p>Cherry led me past the VIP tables toward a red door that another man was guarding. The stairs led us down to a dimly lit hallway and it was a weird mix of club music and the faint sounds of a crowd cheering. As we entered the main room, my eyes went wide. This was not the shitty ass ring in New York. The room was huge and there were multiple rings surrounded by people. The rings here though looked like actual MMA boxing rings with flood lights all over. There was even a nice styled bar in the corner crowded with people. Even the people were different here. All of them dressed to the nines. They fit in though. Unlike the New York ring, there was no puddles of unknown liquids in corners, there was no smell of mold and piss, and there wasn't splattered blood in any spots I could see.</p>
<p>"You're far, far away from Jersey." Cherry whispered to me and motioned for me to keep following her. I stalked after her with my eyes still taking in the entire room. Cherry pulled open a door and motioned for me to step through. It opened up into a long hallway with various other doors. Cherry nonchalantly walked to the second and stepped through.</p>
<p>I followed her into a lavishly decorated office and let out a low whistle, "Fancy."</p>
<p>"I know." Cherry dropped into the chair behind the desk leaving me to stand in front of it. She opened a drawer and pulled out a set of familiar tools. Needle, syringe, tourniquet. Cherry was one of the many fighters who spent their free time shooting anything they could grab into their veins. Her eyes darted to mine while she worked, "It's the good stuff."</p>
<p>"<em>Yum</em>." I replied in a bored tone. I glanced around one more time then looked back to her, "You know, props to getting to where you are, but it's a real dick move. You hosting a fire sale."</p>
<p>Cherry shrugged, "People like to watch them."</p>
<p>"People are assholes." I mumbled.</p>
<p>"You know you're so pretentious, Small Fry." Cherry chuckled. "I don't understand why Boss was so obsessed with someone like you."</p>
<p>I scoffed, "Join the club."</p>
<p>"He gives you everything on a platter and you turn him down. Spit in his face. Honestly, it's disrespectful."</p>
<p>"He didn't offer me shit." I snapped. "He wanted a passive bitch to kiss his feet."</p>
<p>Cherry rolled her eyes, "And yes, of course, you're such a <em>strong</em>, <em>independent</em> young woman. Is that why you went <em>cowering</em> to the Avengers? Shame they saw how <em>pathetic</em> you are."</p>
<p>My jaw clenched and I didn't reply. Cherry continued on preparing a syringe filled with cocaine. Drugs were everywhere you looked in the ring, but I never let it get on my radar. That's not what I needed from the ring.</p>
<p>"I want in on the fire sale, Cherry. I wanna fight."</p>
<p>"Oh, I know." Cherry sung in amusement. "And I will let you. I think it'll be fun to watch as all those men kick you around the ring. The deal is though… if you lose, you become a prize same as Hammerhead."</p>
<p>"Sounds fair." I replied with a shrug. I didn't plan on losing. I had been good before, but after four months of training with the Black Widow, Hawkeye, The Falcon, and Captain America my skills had only increased. My concerns for losing tonight were very, very low. My only worry was that I was going to be like a shark tonight. Once blood hit the water, I'd go into a frenzy and lose sense of who I wanted to be.</p>
<p>Cherry held up the syringe with a smile, "And this is for you."</p>
<p>"You know I don't do that shit." I shook my head.</p>
<p>"Oh, tonight you are." Cherry's smile curled up in an evil, smug grin. "You're a good fighter, Small Fry. I've seen you and I know the talent I have here. You'd wipe the floor with them." Cherry stood up, picking up the tourniquet as well, then walked over to me. "I feel like this will even the odds."</p>
<p>I raised a skeptical eyebrow at her, "Yeah, when that stops my heart, it'll really level the playing field."</p>
<p>"These are the rules. Take it or leave it." Cherry said.</p>
<p>Well, in case tonight wasn't dangerous enough I guess I was adding cocaine to the mix. Quickly, to not lose my nerve, I stripped out of my hoodie and tossed it aside. Cherry smirked when I held my left arm out to her. She stepped closer and tied the tourniquet around my bicep.</p>
<p>"With this amount, I'd expect the high to last fifteen minutes or so." Cherry slapped the crook of my elbow a few times. "But don't worry, you'll get more between fights."</p>
<p>Cherry stuck the needle into my arm, but I refused to flinch at the pinch. Seconds after the plunger was pushed all the way down— <em>I felt it</em>. It was like there was fire in my veins, but the spot around where she stabbed me with the needle was numb. I blinked a few times as a shaky feeling began to bubble up into my gut.</p>
<p>"Let's get you to your first fight, Small Fry."</p>
<p>Cherry was laughing as she dragged me out of her office and back to where the main rings were. The loud cheering was deafening, and I could feel my heart racing in my chest. My hands trembled and Cherry shoved me toward one of the rings. Hands were touching me, but I didn't know whose. The world around me blurred for a moment before suddenly becoming crystal clear. With a racing heart, I stepped out of my sweatpants and entered the ring.</p>
<p>Across the ring from me was a large, bulky man. He was talking to me, laughing, but I just raised my hands and smirked. I felt good. I felt really good.</p>
<p><em>"</em> <em>And…FIGHT!"</em></p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[10:27 PM]</strong>
</p>
<p>The Compound was empty, and Tony took joy in that. He wanted the solitude, craved it. As much as he loved Pepper and Rhodey, he couldn't take another worried speech from them. It was the whole reason why he decided to come out to the Compound for a few days instead of staying in his Malibu home. Then once the team left for their mission he got exactly what he wanted.</p>
<p><em>'</em> <em>Most of your family chose to leave you.'</em></p>
<p>His hand slipped and the screwdriver he was using jammed into the side of his hand bringing forth blood. Tony cursed and threw the tool aside to hold pressure over the gash wound. The shock of learning the truth of his parents wore off in the first 24 hours. Then, despite Pepper's arguments otherwise, he spent the next 48 hours searching for any shred of evidence he could find. It took a lot of work, most more illegal than legal, and he had to reach out to skeevy people he had left in his weapon developing past, but Tony got his hands on a security video.</p>
<p>Tony watched that video on repeat for hours. He kept watching even when Pepper tried to pull him away from it. He kept watching even after the whiskey blurred his vision. In fact, the only reason why he probably wasn't still sitting on his lab floor watching that video for the rest of this eternity was because Rhodey had stormed in and taken a crowbar to the house's power source leaving him in the dark.</p>
<p>It wasn't like it mattered. Tony could play that video in his head with vivid detail. So, in total, he spent about 120 hours mourning his parent's deaths.</p>
<p>His anger towards Barnes had burned a lot longer than that. It wasn't until around two weeks after learning what he did that Pepper finally got him to not fly into a rage anytime he heard that damn name. Pepper had said it had been HYDRA. Pepper said Barnes was a victim. Pepper said Barnes was a tortured prisoner of war. It ate him alive that the woman he loved would ever not side with him, but, like always, he realized Pepper was right. If you did the math accurately, that put his burning rage towards Barnes, specifically, at around 336 hours.</p>
<p>Three weeks out from learning the truth, in the middle of a conversation with Nick Fury of all people, he found a paper trail that led to Steve. Nick hadn't known everything. All he had known was that Steve had asked him for the file, but Nick didn't have it. One clue led to the next and Tony had come to the conclusion that Steve had known. Steve had known before him. It had only been confirmed hours earlier, and Tony still felt the ache of that betrayal. The burning rage at the audacity Captain America thought he had. The math was yet to arrive on how long he'd feel this way toward his old friend.</p>
<p>The easiest math to do was also the biggest number. How long had he hated himself for saying what he had to Aj? How long had he loathed every cell in his body for being the cause of her pain? How long had he regretted throwing her worst insecurity in her face knowing the damage it could do?</p>
<p>Every moment since he walked away from her. That was 3,024,000 seconds and counting. Pepper said she'd forgive him. Natasha had come back from brunch at one point and told him that she had defended him. That didn't change a damn thing. Aj spent most of her life being kicked around and spat on. Most of the people around her filled her head with venomous lies, and Tony had done the same.</p>
<p>Tony was no better than any of them.</p>
<p><em>'</em> <em>Most of your family chose to leave you.'</em></p>
<p>He grabbed everything he had been working on, everything sitting on the table in front of him, and threw it all to the ground with one swipe of his arms. Tony folded his hands over the back of his head and closed his eyes. He took calming breaths and tried to resist the powerful urge to pour himself a drink. He made Pepper a promise. He wouldn't drink at the Compound alone. There was an easy loophole to that though. If he flew back to Malibu right now he could drink in that lab since technically he wouldn't be alone with her upstairs.</p>
<p>Tony stepped over his mess and was only a step away from the lab doors when FRIDAY spoke up, "<em>Boss, there's a security breech in the lobby</em>."</p>
<p>"Then send security to deal with it." He spat out.</p>
<p>"<em>I notified them, but I think you want to see this</em>."</p>
<p>Tony stepped back and swiped in the air for a holographic screen to materialize in the air in front of him. The security feed was pulled up, and Tony stiffened at the sight. There was a man standing in his lobby, looking around, and he recognized the Winter Soldier with ease.</p>
<p>"Direct all security away from the lobby." Tony barked out and held his hand out for a gauntlet to shoot out and wrap around his lower arm. The rest of his suit was in the middle of an upgrade, but Tony didn't need more than this. He was sprinting out of the lab and toward the stairs. With every step, he felt his anger reaching a higher and higher temperature. Tony could picture himself blasting a hole in the middle of Barnes' chest and the satisfaction he got from it was probably troubling.</p>
<p>Tony hit the lobby, letting the door fly out and slam into the wall with a loud bang, and stormed forward. There was no point in hiding. He wanted Barnes to know that he was coming for him. For him to feel the rising terror build in his chest just like it had in his parents' when they came to the realization that the bad car crash they had experienced was more than just an accident.</p>
<p>When he spotted Barnes, he lifted his hand and immediately fired. The man let out a grunt and dove out of the way. Tony didn't relent. He pressed forward firing twice more and cursing when Barnes dodged both times, ducking behind lobby furniture.</p>
<p>"Stop! You have to stop!" Barnes yelled out from behind a lobby chair.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm sure my dad said the same thing." Tony snarled and fired at the chair. It blew a hole in the back, the rest of the material catching fire, and while Barnes rolled for more cover, Tony bent over to reach under the coffee table where he knew Natasha had hidden a gun inside a panel of it.</p>
<p>"<em>Please, listen to me</em>!"</p>
<p>Tony gripped the glock in his left hand. He fired the repulsor at Barnes' new hiding place, and when the man went to duck to his next Tony fired the handgun three times. He heard a grunt of pain and Tony pressed forward again. He was caught off guard when Barnes turned to face him. Tony braced for an attack, expecting a blow, but Barnes just stayed on his knees and held his hands up in surrender.</p>
<p>The man was a mess. Dark, greasy hair. Bags under his eyes with pale skin. Clothes that had seen better days. Tony held up both his weapons and every neuron in his brain screamed to shoot. His eyes darted to Barnes' right side where a bullet had skimmed him and blood was staining his shirt.</p>
<p>"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you <em>right now</em>." Tony growled. He was looking for a reason. Something to push him to the edge so he could pull the trigger because he came to the sudden realization that he couldn't do it on his own. The hands that were held up in surrender were the same ones that choked the life out of his mother. They were the same hands that beat his father to death. Tony was angry. <em>God, he was furious</em>. He was hurt. HYDRA took his family from him before he could tell them that he did love them. Tony had fought with his dad before he left. It was nothing new, and his dad was a fucking ass at the best of times, but Tony wanted to tell him that he loved him. Most days Howard Stark probably didn't deserve it, but Tony wanted to say it all the same. His mom had been disappointed at the fight, and when she came to hug him good-bye he had stepped back from her because he was still in a mood. Tony wanted to pull her into a hug and never let go. He wanted to tell her that he straightened out his life, found a purpose, found people he loved, found a woman he wanted to marry.</p>
<p>But he couldn't do that.</p>
<p>That had been taken away from him, <em>ripped from his hands</em>, and the tool HYDRA used to do it was kneeling in front of him broken and pathetic. By God, he wanted to fire his weapon. He wanted to shoot Barnes' dead in hopes that maybe it would bring him some <em>sliver</em> of relief. Some tiny, minute moment of peace. Maybe even hurt Steve in the process.</p>
<p>"<em>Tell me why I shouldn't kill you</em>!" Tony roared again. His hands were shaking now, and he hated it. He hated it. He hated it.</p>
<p>Barnes didn't break his gaze. The broken man just shook his head, "<em>You should</em>. You <em>should</em> kill me. I <em>deserve</em> it. <em>I'm sorry</em>." Tony physically felt his chest cave in as his heart ached. Barnes shook his head, "But, you gotta listen to me first. <em>Please</em>. Just give me a second to talk and I'll let you do it. I won't fight."</p>
<p>Tony's tired arms dropped, and he hung his head trying to suck in a shaky, gasping breath of air. He clenched his jaw and tried to ground himself. Pepper's voice came back to him. Comforted him. This wasn't a moment of weakness. Letting go of the rage in his chest. This was a moment of strength.</p>
<p>He lifted his head to make eye contact with Barnes who still looked desperate. He spat the breathless question out, "<em>What</em>?"</p>
<p>Then Bucky Barnes said the only words that could freeze the remainder of his anger and hatred. The only words that could flush those emotions out of his body and replace it with immediate fear and worry.</p>
<p>"It's Aj."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[10:39 PM]</strong>
</p>
<p>I stumbled away from the ring and threw up by the stairs. My entire body was shaking violently, and it felt like my heart was trying to claw its way up my throat as well. Eight fights had come and gone, but I was still standing. Kind of. Weakly, I fell to the ground and leaned against the side of the stairs. Assess. Assess. Okay, my head hurt. My nose had been broken somewhere between fight four and five, but I had snapped it back in place shortly after. It still hurt like a bitch though. The rest of my body was an ache. An ache I was familiar with.</p>
<p>Right now, I was more worried about drugs in my system.</p>
<p>After every fight, Cherry was back with more. It was a vicious cycle. For about five minutes I would feel really, <em>really</em> good. Strong and confident. Then after those five minutes I'd crash hard. Shaking, nausea, and my body felt like it was on fire. 15 minutes of high, my ass.</p>
<p>Feet stepped into my view and I lifted my gaze to see Cherry smirking down at me. She knelt down, another syringe in her hands, "How's it going, Small Fry? You're almost at the end you know. Semi-finals."</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck off</em>." I said between clattering teeth.</p>
<p>Cherry laughed and pulled a hand sized mirror out of her pocket. She opened it and flipped it around for me to look into. My nose was red, I had dark bags under my eyes that blended into a variety of bruises, and my lower face was coated in dry blood from where my nose had been crushed. My pale skin made the blood look so much brighter.</p>
<p>"You look like shit."</p>
<p>"At least—At least I don't…don't look like <em>you</em>." I struggled to say. Cherry just grabbed my arm and I looked down sadly at the bruised skin at the crook of my elbow. She stabbed me again and I held back a gasp. When she was done, I shoved her aside and stood back up. I was almost done. I was almost done. Just two more fights. As I stumbled into the ring, I chuckled at the situation. At least I didn't have to worry about my addiction coming to light. With the drugs in me, and me feeling so sick and awful, I had zero craving to be here. It was like psychological association. Nothing like cocaine to kick a bad habit.</p>
<p>Kyle stepped into the ring from the other side. He looked rough, but he still had a smug smile. He winked at me and my racing heart ached. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be on the couch, wrapped up in my blanket, curled into Steve's side.</p>
<p>"Aw, tired? The tears are pathetic as hell." Kyle spat at me. Was I crying? My shaking hands swiped at my face and as the high began to hit me I felt more clear. Someone yelled for us to start and Kyle pulled something out of his basketball shorts' pockets. Brass knuckles. They were brass knuckles. He slid them onto his fingers, "You ready, babe?"</p>
<p>I reached over to my watch and activated my gloves. As the red and gold metal crawled over my skin, I watched Kyle's eyes widen comically and the crowd watching us go wild. When they were formed, I motioned toward him with my hands, "Yeah, I am. Come on."</p>
<p>Kyle lunged forward, and I ducked under his swing to slam my fist right into his kidney. He stumbled forward with a cry of pain and whipped around to try and grab me. I blocked his blows, taking a step back with each movement, until I was at the fence. It was a bad position to be in. He began to swing, and I had to choose what to block. I threw my hands up to shield my face and he punched me in the gut twice. He tried to throw a third, but I grabbed him around the neck, lacing my fingers together, kicked off the fence and then dropped my weight. It caught him off guard and as we hit the ground, I dug my knee into his chest to flip him over.</p>
<p>Kyle grunted and I rolled back up to my feet. We circled each other for a minute. He was looking for an in and I was waiting for him to move. Kyle wasn't a patient man. It was his downfall. With a cry, he lunged forward again to attack. As soon as he got close enough, I spun to the side and slammed my elbow right into the center of his face. He howled in pain and I felt his nose shatter.</p>
<p>He backpedaled and held his face in pain. Before I could leap at him to take advantage of the moment an alarm began to go off. I glanced around confused as the crowds that had been egging us on began to scream and scatter. Suddenly, gunfire filled the air and flashes of Romania hit me. I froze for a second, my shoulder suddenly aching in remembrance, and it was only bullets sparking off the fence around us that grounded me.</p>
<p>"<em>Get down</em>!" I barked and tackled Kyle to the ground. He grunted as more bullets rattled the fence around us. Panicked, I tried to keep myself here and not get lost in a memory.</p>
<p>Kyle shoved me off him with a curse and then began to military crawl across the ring to get to cover. As I laid on the mat, I began to crash. Nausea hit me and I rolled over to throw up again. I had to move. I had to move. I shakily pushed myself up and ran off the mat. People shoved around me in a blur of color and noise.</p>
<p>Why was I here again? What was I doing? My buzzing brain was scattered in a million places. Someone shoved into me, making me stumble forward, but it was enough to jar me back into reality. Hammerhead. <em>Angela</em>.</p>
<p>I sprinted through the crowd trying not to let the sound of gunfire make me shake even worse. Cherry sprinted out of the door I was trying to make my way to and she didn't even give me a parting glance as she hurried to get out of here. I stumbled through that same door into the hallway that only led to more. Now, all I had to do was check every single room before I passed the hell out.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[11:34 PM]</strong>
</p>
<p>Weirdly, Bucky could remember the last time he had seriously prayed. It was one of those memories he wished he didn't have, but it was there nonetheless. He had been lying in the snow staring up at a bleak sky. Staring at the gray clouds was so much better than staring at the bright red blood gushing out where his arm used to be. Bucky remembered praying to die. He didn't understand why he survived such a fall. What was the point? He prayed and he prayed and he prayed, but the relief of death never came to him.</p>
<p>Maybe it was best if Bucky didn't pray for Aj to be safe.</p>
<p>God didn't seem to like him very much.</p>
<p>"—she's one of ours. Aj Bradshaw, I sent you her picture, <em>she</em> is your mission. Her safety is the <em>top priority</em>!" Stark barked into a phone. They had boarded one of the Avenger's smaller jets and took off to where he had traced Aj to be.</p>
<p>Bucky knew that Stark had a tracker in her bracelets, it's how that Daisy girl found them, and it had been the only piece of a plan he had when he hitched a ride away from Romania. For some reason, she was in Washington DC in a club. Based off what Bucky had heard and what Stark had looked into, the club was the front for a fighting ring.</p>
<p>He shifted in his seat and flinched when the wound at his side burned. All things considering, this was the best case scenario. Bucky thought for sure that Tony Stark was going to shoot him dead in that lobby. He didn't blame the man. Bucky could see the pain in his dark brown eyes.</p>
<p>"We're landing in ten minutes." Stark said and walked over to sit in the seat across from him. "Right outside the club. Pulled some strings and DC police are already in the ring. A firefight broke out—" Bucky's head snapped up in panic. "—I reiterated the real mission, but…we need to get there quick." He didn't bother replying and laced his fingers together as his elbows leaned on his knees. Bucky was trying to make himself look as small as possible. "Medics are on their way too. I don't know what state she'll be in after fighting. If it's anything like Russia…"</p>
<p>Again, Bucky didn't reply. What was there to say? He closed his eyes tightly. If anything had happened to her… That would be on him. He shouldn't have left her in the airport. If he had just gone to New York with her then Steve wouldn't have been upset and she wouldn't be on the outs with the Avengers. At the very least he would've been there for her.</p>
<p>"Hey." Stark snapped. Bucky glanced up and withered under the man's glare. Stark clenched his jaw and for a moment they just stared at one another. Tension hanging in the air. He finally shook his head, "I have a question, and you better pray I like your answer."</p>
<p>"What?" Bucky replied, his voice hoarse and quiet.</p>
<p>Stark leaned forward, "Why?"</p>
<p>Bucky wilted. He glanced down at his hands and tried to keep his voice steady, "They were a mission. A threat to HYDRA. <em>I'm sorry</em>. Howard was my… my friend and I—I'm <em>sorry</em>—"</p>
<p>"No." Stark snapped with a growl. "I'm not talking to you about that right now." Bucky glanced up in confusion to meet the fire in Stark's eyes. It had to be something he got from his mother because he never saw Howard with that kind of emotion or determination in him. Stark shook his head, "Why her? <em>Why Aj?"</em></p>
<p>"W—What do you mean?" Bucky sat up.</p>
<p>"What is it about Aj that makes you finally pop out of hiding and come <em>crawling</em> to <em>my</em> fucking front door? Why the hell are you risking everything for her?"</p>
<p>Bucky's throat felt dry, "She's…<em>special</em>."</p>
<p>"Not good enough. Try again."</p>
<p>"I…I'm so fucked up." Bucky admitted softly and he heard Stark scoff in agreement. He closed his eyes, "Even right now…I feel—feel clear headed enough to be here… my worry about her is stronger than the evil thing that lives in my head, but…but it's <em>never</em> gone. It's like static—<em>white noise</em>. It feels like if I don't hold on tightly enough, if I lose focus for even a second, it's going to all slip away and I'll lose the sanity I have left." Bucky opened his eyes to see Stark staring at him in quiet thought. Bucky shook his head, "When I met Aj, she didn't look at me like I was the Winter Soldier. She didn't even look at me like I was Bucky Barnes…" He chuckled. "She just saw someone, <em>like her</em>, who was searching for solid ground to stand on." Bucky met Stark's eyes with his own. "Aj makes me feel…<em>normal</em>. Normal enough at least. She makes me feel like I might have a future after all. As if all this bullshit I'm putting up with in my broken head might… might be worth it down the line."</p>
<p>Stark nodded once, a look of mild surprise on his face, "You care about her."</p>
<p>"I do." Bucky admitted. "She's…She is important to me. Aj's my anchor."</p>
<p>There was another quiet moment between them. Bucky didn't know if he had given Stark the right answer, but the air didn't feel quite as tense anymore. He lowered his head back down to stare at the floor. Aj was his anchor for the storm in his mind, and if anything happened to her tonight…it'd be a sin worse than any others.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>[11:38 PM]</strong>
</p>
<p>My cocaine riddled brain was not doing so hot right now. There was still gunfire in the distance, and I was pushing open every door I could find in the maze of hallways back here. Why the fuck did Cherry have so many rooms?</p>
<p>I fell forward and my gloves took the brunt of the impact. Don't pass out. Don't pass out. <em>Don't pass out</em>. I pushed myself up and moved to the next door. It took a second to get my violently shaking hands to grip the doorknob. Thankfully, when I pushed the door open I was finally greeted by the sight of Angela sitting on a ratty couch with her hands tied behind her back and a gag in her mouth.</p>
<p>"Oh, thank God." I mumbled and hurried forward. Angela was trying to talk through the gag, but it was just muffled sounds. It's not like my brain was going to interpret anything correctly right now anyways. "I'm here to save you, but FYI I'm 10 seconds from passing out so you're gonna have to carry me out of here, Angela."</p>
<p>I yanked the gag out of her mouth, and the woman shook her head, "I'm so sorry. <em>I'm so sorry,</em> I had to. I <em>had</em> to, Small Fry."</p>
<p>My eyes narrowed in confusion and the slamming of a door made me jump. I whipped around, off balance but ready to fight, only to hear a gun fire. I sharp gasp left my lips and I glanced down to see a hole in the left side of my abdomen. Bright blood gurgled out of it like a low pressure fountain and I fell to my knees as the pain finally slammed into me.</p>
<p>"I told you so, pet." With a gasp, I looked up to see Boss strolling toward me with a pistol in his gloved hands. His suit looked immaculate and his blond hair was slicked back. Sharp fear cut through me and the terror was nearly as painful as the bullet wound I was desperately holding pressure to. He walked over and knelt down in front of me with a sickening smile on his face, "What was it you said to me about leaving me on the fucking floor to bleed to death?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Fight Because You Don't Know How to Die Quietly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: OMG TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT ME COMMENTS LAST CHAPTER I LOVE YOU. The feeback was amazing and I can't express how much I loved it! Pls leave me more I'm always a slut for comments and reviews lololol<br/>QUICK NOTE—this chapter is a bit on the short side, but I plan on doing back to back updates from here. #35 Today, #36 on Saturday, and #37 on Sunday !!!</p>
<p>Thanks again for reading, babes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>"I knew that I was dying</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Something in me said,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Go ahead, die, sleep, become as</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Them, accept.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then something else in me said, no,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Save the tiniest bit.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It needn't be much.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Just a spark.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A spark can set a whole forest on fire.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Just a spark.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Save it."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>—Charles Bukowski</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Blood. I was losing too much blood. The drugs were still making my heart race, and that was pushing out blood faster than normal. My entire lower body was coated in a shine of red, blood pooling under me as I leaned my back against the couch, and I couldn't see the gold of my gauntlets. They were just red. My braided bracelets soaked with the color. Just red.</p>
<p>
  <em>Red. Red. Red.</em>
</p>
<p>Fingers snapped in front of my face and the ringing in my ears was replaced with sound.</p>
<p>"Look at you." Boss laughed cruelly. "Drugged up. Beaten. <em>Bleeding</em>. Oh, pet, you've fallen so far." My eyes drifted past his pinched, amused features to see Angela standing behind his shoulder. She was frowning. Crying? I opened my mouth, but only a whimper came out. Boss glanced at her then back to me, "Right. Betrayal is sharp, isn't it? Paying off the SHIELD agents in California watching me was easy, hunkering down in the closest ring to where you lived was also easy, but <em>getting you to come</em>? I waited and <em>waited</em>, but you <em>never</em> showed up."</p>
<p>"I—" I gasped.</p>
<p>"Luckily, I know you, pet." Boss grinned, his eyes void of anything other than enjoyment and thrill. "I knew you'd do <em>anything</em> for the people you consider a friend."</p>
<p>Angela stepped forward, shaking her head, "I'm sorry. I <em>had</em> to. I had no choice. The deal was too good."</p>
<p>"Amber." I breathed. Talking made my gut ache. Was that normal? I shook my head, "Mj. Amber and Mj…How could you… They <em>love</em> you."</p>
<p>"You took care of them for me, and I'm so thankful." Angela replied. "But Boss offered me a spot in the new ring he's creating. I can't make a name for myself in the real world. I <em>need</em> the ring."</p>
<p>"<em>Angela</em>…"</p>
<p>She shook her head and stepped back, "That's not my name."</p>
<p>"Angela, <em>please</em>, you don't—"</p>
<p>"<em>That's not my name</em>!" She snapped. "I am <em>Hammerhead</em>. You just don't get it, okay?" She sounded desperate. Like she was trying to convince herself more than me. "If our roles were reversed you would've done the <em>same</em> thing, Small Fry."</p>
<p>"My name… My name is <em>Aj</em>." I said softly, more disappointed than angry. I shook my head at her, "And I wouldn't have. <em>I wouldn't have</em>."</p>
<p>Angela stumbled back like I had hit her, and I watched as her face twisted into horror. Boss snapped a curse at her. He shoved the gun he had shot me with into her hands and came closer to me. I tried to get Angela to meet my eyes, to do something with the weapon in hand, but she just continued to backpedal away staring at the floor.</p>
<p>"You're <em>dying</em>." Boss' voice made me look back to him. He was knelt down in my space. One foot resting between my legs, and his kneeling thigh pressed against the outside of my left one. Blood was soaking into his slacks, they had to be, but he didn't even seem phased.</p>
<p>Boss pulled the black glove on his right hand off and reached out to cup my face. His fingers caressed me in a loving manner, and I felt warm tears begin to fall down my face. He made a cooing noise and wiped the tears away affectionately. I tried to pull away, but my body was too weak to shove him off and his grip was too tight. With a gasp, I pushed my words out, "<em>Why</em>? Why won't you leave me alone? Why won't you just <em>let me leave</em>?"</p>
<p>"Oh, pet." He clicked his tongue and traced my features with his fingers again, "You <em>belong</em> to me. How many times do I have to teach you this lesson?" Boss smirked and his thumb pressed against my lower lip. "Lucky for you, I am the forgiving type."</p>
<p>He leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine. He left his right hand on my face as his left brushed against every inch of exposed skin below my neck. I felt <em>ill</em>. I felt absolutely <em>disturbed</em>. The sickening feeling of revolt was louder than the crash from all those drugs in my veins. It was louder than the actively bleeding bullet wound in my gut.</p>
<p>"How about our usual deal?" Boss whispered. I closed my eyes and tried to find that little place in my head that I used to hide in. The feel of his lips brushing against my cheek was the straw that broke the camel's back. A shuddering sob tumbled from my lips as Boss continued to whisper words to me. <em>I didn't want to be here</em>. I couldn't even hide like I used to. I was too here. I was too <em>present</em>. Boss licked the side of my face and I sobbed harder, but he only chuckled in response, "Do you know how long I've waited for this moment? Waited for you to <em>break</em>?"</p>
<p>I opened my eyes and he leaned back to stare into my eyes. He looked so happy to see me so hurt. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning staring at the big present hiding under the tree. He smirked, his thumb tracing my lower lip, "Do it. Tell me who you belong to. Tell me who owns you and I'll save you. I'll make sure you don't bleed to death."</p>
<p>And for a second, I considered it. 34 times he asked me this question. Boss would hold a knife to my skin and ask me who I belonged to. He'd tell me to show him who owned me, prove it, and he wouldn't carve up my pretty skin as punishment. And, 34 times, I said no. I never hesitated. I'd spit at him, tell him to fuck off, and let him drag his knife into my flesh with teeth clenched so he wouldn't hear my pain.</p>
<p>But this time? I <em>wanted</em> to give in. I <em>wanted</em> to say whatever I needed to say, do <em>whatever</em> I needed to do, in order to live. Every inch of my skin was on fire, every heartbeat hurt, every breath was agony, and despite the fire bristling on the surface on my skin, there was something deep in my gut that felt cold. A deep, endless cold and it was creeping through my soul. I didn't want to die. <em>I didn't want to die</em>.</p>
<p>"Pet…" He murmured and leaned in even closer. I could feel his hot breath against my skin. Boss pressed his lips to my hairline. It was the same spot Bucky kissed me good-bye. It was the spot where Steve kissed me before walking away to fight Ultron. The last time I had touched him. Boss trailed more soft kisses down the side of my face. "<em>Tell me who owns you</em>."</p>
<p>I lifted my left hand and set it on the center of his chest. He smirked and I let my lips curl up in a small smile of my own. I extended my wrist against his chest and the repulsor fired loudly. Boss screamed as his entire body flew across the room and hit the ground hard. I let my hand drop and spat my next words out, "I guess I mean it literally this time when I say <em>I'd rather die.</em>"</p>
<p>Boss let out a guttural scream of rage as he shakily pushed himself up from the ground. His hair unkempt from the fall and his eyes wild with a crazed, uncontrollable anger. He clutched his chest, still trying to catch his breath, and I forced a smirk on my face. I didn't feel like smirking, far from it, but I wasn't going to die with him thinking he had won.</p>
<p>"<em>You stupid bitch</em>!" He roared and snatched the gun from Angela's shaking hands. He pointed it straight at me and I closed my eyes waiting to die. My last thoughts were a string of apologies to people I loved and that seemed like a fitting last thought for me. Boss pulled the trigger but each time he did all I heard was the clicking of an empty barrel. My eyes snapped open in shock. Boss screamed again and threw the gun aside before storming over to me. His hands gripped my throat and I gasped though no air filled my lungs. My hands shot up to grab his, but I was too weak to do anything other than choke. "The trouble you bring me has <em>never </em>been worth it. I should've killed you <em>years</em> ago."</p>
<p>I clawed at his hands, my vision going black, and Boss surprised me by throwing me to the side. My body hit the floor, pain shattering me, but I just laid there trying to take in as much air as I could.</p>
<p>"This is better." Boss growled and flipped me over to stare down at me. He lifted his foot and slowly pressed it against my wound. A howling scream of pain tore through me, "I know your <em>worst fear</em>. Dying alone with <em>no one </em>to love you<em>, </em>no one to <em>mourn</em> <em>you</em>." He spat at me. Boss lifted his foot and brought his heel down again. My vision went black for a second. Boss leaned down to sneer at me, "Well, that is <em>exactly</em> what is going to happen. I'm going to leave you here to bleed to death <em>alone</em>. It will be cold and desolate as you slip away to hell. Forgotten forever, no mark left on this world, a blight that no human will waste any effort to grieve."</p>
<p>"Hell will look like heaven compared to <em>any</em> time I spent with you." I said between clenched teeth.</p>
<p>Boss spat on me and turned sharply on his heel to leave. Angela trailed after him, I could hear them go, and then it was quiet. It was too quiet. All I could hear was the sound of my own heart beating in my ears. I prayed. I prayed for this to end quickly. Please. If I was going to die don't let me lie here in pained suspense. <em>God, please</em>.</p>
<p>I laid in my blood and waited.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha had only been in the Playground once before and it was a long, long time ago. In fact, it was before Coulson had made it SHIELD's main headquarters. She followed behind Daisy, Kate, and Clint down the halls with Coulson matching her stride.</p>
<p>"How was Kate been?" Natasha questioned, nodding her head toward her.</p>
<p>"Good." Coulson nodded. "She's a great addition to the team. She's been a huge help tracking down the missing inhumans." He motioned toward her with the prosthetic arm Tony had built him. The only thing giving it away being the silver bar wrapped around his mid forearm where it connected. "Unless you need her for your team."</p>
<p>Natasha smirked, "I think we have our hands full with our own archer." At her words Kate shoved Clint ahead of them and he crashed into a cart of spare parts scattering them around the hall. She looked to Coulson again, "In fact, if you want <em>another</em> archer we have one to spare."</p>
<p>"I aged out of babysitting Barton a long time ago." Coulson chuckled.</p>
<p>Clint whipped around, "I heard all of that, you asshats."</p>
<p>"We have someone we want you to meet. Her name is Star." Daisy said.</p>
<p>"Who is Star?" Natasha questioned skeptically. Daisy grinned and took a turn down a different hall. The group followed until they got to a small bedroom. Daisy stopped outside the door, Kate leaned against the wall in front of the doorway, and both of them motioned for them to enter without them.</p>
<p>Natasha raised an eyebrow, and Coulson was the one to answer, "Small space. She doesn't like crowds."</p>
<p>Clint was the one to open the door, and Natasha stepped past him into the room. Jemma, who was sitting on a small bed, looked up at their entrance and smiled. She stood to greet them, but Natasha glanced at the small girl sitting on the floor. She couldn't be older than seven with a head of thick, black corkscrew curls. The girl, Star, didn't look up to greet them. She just continued drawing with a black crayon. Curled up beside her was Lucky laying on his side with his tongue hanging out.</p>
<p>"I was wondering where you hid my dog." Clint chuckled. He whistled once and Lucky lifted his head, stared at Clint, then lied back down and licked the little girl's knee. Clint scoffed and mumbled, "<em>Traitor</em>."</p>
<p>"Star, do you wanna meet some of my friends?" Jemma knelt down beside her. The girl's hand froze, but still she didn't look up. Natasha glanced at Clint who met her stare with a shrug. Star whispered something she didn't catch, but Jemma heard it and nodded with a bright smile, "No! They're nothing like the people who had you. They're very, <em>very</em> nice. I've known them a <em>long</em> time and I trust them."</p>
<p>There was a brief pause before the girl looked up. Her heart shaped face a few shades lighter than her hair, but the feature that stood out were her large, <em>glowing</em> golden eyes. The little girl was inhuman or otherworldly. That much was very obvious. She held out her hand, not saying a word, and Jemma gave her a nod of encouragement. Natasha knelt down and held out of her hand. Star set hers on her palm and Natasha watched in surprise as the girl's eyes flashed a shade of green that matched her own. The color faded back to normal and Star went back to coloring.</p>
<p>Coulson cleared his throat and Natasha stood back up slowly. Clint took her by the elbow, and they backpedaled out of the room as Jemma and Lucky stayed in their spots. When they got back into the hallway, Clint let out a low whistle, "So, uh, where'd you find your new friend, Coulson?"</p>
<p>"She was being held captive by a group of people collecting inhumans."</p>
<p>"So, she <em>is</em> inhuman?" Natasha pressed.</p>
<p>Daisy shook her head, "We think she's Asgardian."</p>
<p>Clint narrowed his eyes skeptically, "An Asgardian named <em>Star</em>? That's a stripper name."</p>
<p>Kate slammed her elbow into his gut, and he doubled over with a grunt. No one else blinked an eye at the movement. Daisy continued to address Natasha with a shrug, "She won't talk to us. When you look in her eyes long enough though you start to… Well, I don't know, you see stars? I know that sounds crazy, but it's like the kid has the universe in her eyes."</p>
<p>"We've heard crazier." Natasha hummed.</p>
<p>"She's partly why we called you here." Coulson chimed in. "We're hoping you could get in touch with Thor for us? We're looking to get the girl a ride home before they come for her again."</p>
<p>"Why—" Clint began to ask, but Kate shrugged, and he flinched at the movement in suspicion. Ignoring him, she explained, "She can see the future. She draws it."</p>
<p>Natasha and Clint glanced at one another again curiously. Coulson motioned for them to follow him back out into the main hallway, "We haven't figured out the exact process yet. It's less exact future and more cause of change? She drew Lincoln fighting a hooded figure, something none of us were even there for, but because Lincoln lost that fight the hooded figure was able to get to and attack Mac and Fitzsimmons."</p>
<p>"Star knows the path my future will eventually take?" Natasha asked, mildly disturbed.</p>
<p>"Sort of?" Daisy replied. "She knows events that will put you on that path. We think. Like Coulson said we kind of have no idea what's going on..."</p>
<p>Clint clasped his hands together, "So, lotto numbers are out of the question?"</p>
<p>Natasha rolled her eyes, "Again, you're friends with a <em>billionaire</em> and you don't have to pay rent."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I wanna be able to say I won the lottery, Tash." Clint grumbled.</p>
<p>They made their way to Coulson's office and found various seating around the room. Coulson sat at the edge of his desk, Daisy and Kate dropped down onto a couch, Clint perched himself on the windowsill, and she chose to stand. As it turns out, Fury got caught up with something on the other side of the country which meant they hadn't been late at all. Clint was never gonna let Fury forget that he beat him to a meeting. Natasha was actually already tired of hearing the jokes and he hadn't even started yet.</p>
<p>"Where's May?" Clint glanced around as if she was going to be hiding behind a potted plant or filing cabinet.</p>
<p>"Out with Hunter and Bobbi." Coulson replied and grabbed a remote to activate the projector sending a variety of screens against the wall behind his desk. It was pictures of missing inhumans, last known locations, and any tracking they had done so far.</p>
<p>"They're always so busy." Clint said.</p>
<p>"Unlike the Avengers, we work year round." Daisy joked, and Clint stuck his tongue out at her.</p>
<p>"Why don't you just catch us up to speed now, Coulson?" Natasha asked. Coulson shrugged and began to explain what they were having issues with. Apparently, a group labeled ATCU, for Advanced Threat Containment Unit, was founded by the president in order to round up and keep track of the new influx of inhumans. Problem was they didn't understand the inhuman process or that becoming inhuman didn't automatically dictate whether or not they deserved life in prison. So far, Coulson and his men were just trying to get as many inhumans as they could and put them in hiding from the ATCU. What they needed help with was breaking into the main facility to free the ones that had already been imprisoned.</p>
<p>The process wasn't faultless, and they needed to screen the inhumans before giving them a life in SHIELD protective services. Power didn't affect everyone the same way, and there were bad people who only became worse when they suddenly received powers of a god.</p>
<p>"Okay we kick down ATCU's doors, and then what?" Clint shrugged. "The crowd gets shuffled to the nearest inhuman therapist to determine whether or not they're homicidal?"</p>
<p>Daisy stood up with a frown, "Those inhumans are being kept in <em>cages</em>! We can't leave them there!"</p>
<p>Clint held his hands up in surrender, turning to face her directly, "I know<em>, I know</em>. I'm not suggesting we abandon them, Daisy, but we gotta look at this from all angles. What happens if we free all of them, a crazy one gets loose, and then they decimate a city?"</p>
<p>Daisy crossed her arms, "I understand that too, but—"</p>
<p>"<em>Coulson</em>!" Jemma's voice yelled from down the hall. They all jumped up just as Jemma burst into the room with a paper in hand.</p>
<p>"Is Star alright?" Kate questioned, half ready to run out of the room.</p>
<p>"She's fine—she—she—" Jemma shook her head, breathless, "She drew <em>this</em>." Jemma shakily held up the paper and Natasha took a step to look at it closer. The white paper was covered mostly in red crayon, but at the center was a poorly drawn person with a bullet wound on their exposed stomach. Dark hair, blue eyes, sports bra and shorts, and a set of very, very familiar gauntlets. "Isn't that—<em>Isn't that Aj?"</em></p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve stood in the quinjet running the practice mission ops from there while Sam was out in the field with Pietro and Wanda. He listened to them over comms, but his mind was a million miles away.</p>
<p>"Steve. Did you hear me?"</p>
<p>He looked up from the ground, arms still crossed, and met Vision's gaze, "Sorry. What?"</p>
<p>"I asked if you were alright?" Vision repeated himself.</p>
<p>It had taken him some time to get used to hearing JARVIS' voice from the man, but that faded over time. Steve took a moment to register the question and nodded once, "I am. Thanks." He lifted a hand to his earpiece. "Sam, status."</p>
<p>"<em>Still quiet. Roadrunner has less patience than Clint, which I didn't think was humanly possible, but</em>—"</p>
<p>"<em>I don't like that nickname. I told you. Call me Quicksilver. Quicksilver.</em>" Pietro's accented voice came over the line and it was followed by a groan from both his sister and Sam. Steve chuckled to himself, but something still felt off.</p>
<p>Steve stepped off to the side and scooped up his cellphone. Sam was talking over the comm, but it sounded like he was giving orders to the twins. He flipped the phone over and took apart the extra strength case that Tony had provided him. When the back panel was off, he let the folded piece of paper fall out onto his hand. With the amount of times it had been unfolded and folded up again the paper itself was worn and fragile.</p>
<p>He unfolded it for probably the hundredth time and stared down at the simple words.</p>
<p>
  <em>'I'm sorry. I wish I deserved you in my life.'</em>
</p>
<p>Aj's familiar, sprawling handwriting stared up at him. He closed his eyes and took in a steadying breath. After a second, he turned back around, sliding the paper back into his phone as he walked. Something was wrong. He didn't know what, had no reason to think the thought, but something in him said they needed to go. Steve lifted his finger to the comm unit, "Get back to the quinjet now. <em>Abort</em>."</p>
<p>"Captain?" Vision questioned from beside him with a concerned look. Sam and the others voiced their own worry over the line.</p>
<p>"Something's wrong. We gotta get back to the Compound."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em>Aimee</em>."</p>
<p>My eyes blinked open to stare at the plain ceiling. How much time had passed? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Years? Maybe <em>this</em> was hell. Just lying here waiting to die. Maybe that's how it worked. You never felt the release of death, you just suffered on the edge of it forever.</p>
<p>"<em>Aimee</em>."</p>
<p>Painfully, I turned my head to the side and the sight of my mother lying beside me didn't even make me flinch. She laid on her side wearing a white dress that was untouched by the bright red blood she laid on top of. Her pretty blonde hair sitting in the same pool of red.</p>
<p>"God, I lost a lot of blood." I mumbled.</p>
<p>"<em>You did</em>." My mom hummed with a sad frown. "<em>Oh, Aimee, you've been through so much, baby. You've been so strong. So, so, strong</em>."</p>
<p>My lower lip quivered, "Mama…"</p>
<p>"<em>You gotta be strong a little longer, baby</em>." She said softly. "<em>You gotta get back up</em>."</p>
<p>"Mama, I don't wanna." I shook my head.</p>
<p>She gave me a tight, reassuring smile, "<em>Yes, you do. I know you do</em>."</p>
<p>"It's gonna hurt."</p>
<p>"<em>It is</em>." My mom nodded. "<em>It's gonna hurt a lot, but you can do it. You have to. You know you have to</em>." She reached forward and pushed a loose strand of hair out of my face. "<em>Get up, Aimee. It's time to get up.</em>"</p>
<p>She pushed herself up off the ground and walked away. I called out after her, desperate for her to come back, but she didn't return. <em>Get up. Get up. Get up</em>. I took in two sharp breaths and then rolled over onto my stomach. A cry of pain slipped from me. My lips were pressed against the bloody ground and every sharp exhale sent up a spray of blood.</p>
<p>"<em>Come on, kid. Come on</em>." I lifted my head up, chin resting on the floor, to see Clint lying in the same position across from me. He crossed his arms and rested them under his own chin. Eyes staring me down in a weird mix of support and amusement, "<em>What do you think you're doing, kid? Get the hell up</em>."</p>
<p>I grunted in pain, "Am I gonna get the entire Avengers line-up here? Hallucination edition?"</p>
<p>"<em>If you're lucky enough, maybe</em>." Clint smirked. "<em>And damn, starting with me? You know you're lucky</em>."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I feel <em>really</em> lucky right now." I grumbled and pressed my metal covered knuckles onto the floor. My arms were shaking, hell my entire body was shaking, and I was wondering if it was the drugs or blood loss specifically. There really was no telling.</p>
<p>Clint smirked, "<em>What are you waiting for? Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up, get</em>—"</p>
<p>"Jesus Christ." I groaned and with a roar of pain I pushed myself up off the ground and to my knees. Clint did the same and was clapping as he repeated that same line over and over again. I grunted, "God, I wish I was dead."</p>
<p>"<em>Nah, you don't</em>." Clint snickered.</p>
<p>I bowed my head, breathing heavy, and clasped my arm around my abdomen to try and keep the rest of my blood inside my body. With another scream, through clenched teeth, I pushed up to my feet unsteadily. When I looked up, Clint was gone, and I was sweating buckets. Hell, I could be sweating blood.</p>
<p>"<em>Cестра, start walking</em>." Natasha said from the doorframe she was leaning against. Her arms were crossed, and her gaze was serious and heavy, "<em>This is just like training. Push. Walk. Move. If you stay still, you'll die</em>."</p>
<p>With a scrunched up nose, and teeth clenched so hard together that I thought I could hear them cracking against one another, I took that first step. It was <em>agony</em>. Like someone had lit a fire in my stomach and it was slowly spreading to every other cell in my body. I shuffled toward Natasha who watched me with a careful eye.</p>
<p>"I don't even have an actual fucking plan." I snapped.</p>
<p>"<em>Right now the plan is to live, dumbass</em>." Natasha replied.</p>
<p>"Fair enough." I mumbled and started to drag myself toward her. She egged me on, and the last few steps were just me falling forward and catching myself on the doorframe. Natasha disappeared, and I was leaning against the doorframe trying to get my vision to go from double back to single. Exhausted, I pondered how bad it would be to sink to the floor and die here.</p>
<p>Bruce cleared his throat, and I lifted my gaze to look at him. He was standing in the middle of the hall staring at me in worry and distress. I motioned to him, "You're not even in the continental US last I heard."</p>
<p>"<em>Stop distracting yourself, Aj</em>." Bruce shook his head. "<em>The gunfight is still happening out in the main room. You hear it."</em> Do I? I didn't register that<em>. "That means no one is coming back here for a while. If you stay put, you will die.</em>"</p>
<p>"You <em>would</em> be the voice of reason." I mumbled and pushed off the door frame.</p>
<p>This hall looked like the other hall that looked like that other hall. At this point, I was following my death/drug induced hallucinations. They seemed to know more than I did at this point. Plus, at least this way I wasn't alone. At least, I had tricked myself into thinking wasn't.</p>
<p>I kept one hand around my abdomen and the other on the wall and sort of did this half limp, half dragging my feet, towards where Bruce was. Every time I got a step closer, he'd just take a step back. Bruce did this again and again until he was at the mouth of the hallway.</p>
<p>"I love you a ton, Bruce, but if you take another step away from me…" I panted, "I'm gonna bleed on you or something." Bruce disappeared around the corner with a small smile. I'm dying. I'm dying, and my broken brain was <em>torturing</em> me. Actually, if I thought about that for longer than a second I realized it was pretty fitting for me. I finally managed to reach the corner and Sam was there waiting for me around the wall. I narrowed my eyes at him, "You aren't even technically an Avenger."</p>
<p>"<em>How are you gonna hurt my feelings while I'm in your subconscious?"</em></p>
<p>"Cut me some slack…I'm…" It was getting harder to even talk to myself. "You know the rest."</p>
<p>Sam came to stand beside me and pointed ahead of us, "<em>You're close</em>."</p>
<p>Close to what?! God, what the hell was I doing? I wanted to just take a long nap, but I suppose if I took a break to do that it'd be the forever kind of nap. Was the voice in my head trying to find a cooler place for me to croak?</p>
<p>"<em>Of course, not. This is important</em>." Sam replied.</p>
<p>"I didn't even say that out loud." I grumbled and paused to lean against the wall.</p>
<p>"<em>Is any of this being said aloud</em>?" Sam shrugged. "<em>Or is it all some internal battle</em>?"</p>
<p>I must have talked to Sam a lot because I had his therapist voice down perfectly. My arm pressed against my abdomen and I groaned in pain. My entire abdomen was tense. Hard as a rock. That was a bad, <em>bad</em> sign.</p>
<p>"<em>I believe you Midgardians call it 'acute abdomen'</em>." I blinked up to see Thor had replaced Sam to give me my diagnosis. He gave me a broad smile and thumbs up, "<em>It's a sign that all your internal bleeding is irritating the membranes of your organs</em>."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Maybe you and Bruce should've talked this out and swapped places, man."</p>
<p>"<em>Little warrior</em>", Thor stepped away from me and motioned for me to follow, "<em>The battle is not over</em>."</p>
<p>Bummer. I followed after the Asgardian feeling like I was on the verge of passing out. Thor stopped in front of a doorway and nodded his head inside of it. I stopped at the mouth of it and looked down at a set of dark stairs. Dear Lord, I hated my subconscious more than I hated my conscious. I glanced from the stairs then back to Thor, then the stairs, then to Thor again. He just nodded.</p>
<p>My brain hadn't been taking me to get help like I thought. It hadn't brought me to safety. Something deep in my subconscious said that coming here was more important in this moment than finding someone to drive me to a hospital. I stared down the dark stairs in thought. Why was this so important to me? I looked back to Thor, but he was gone. Still, I heard voices. Were they real voices or just in my head voices?</p>
<p>I closed my eyes, took a second to resist the urge to just collapse, and then began my unsteady passage down the stairs. They led to another door, this one shut, and I was sure the voices were coming from behind it. There was a cry of pain, and it wasn't mine.</p>
<p>Suddenly, I knew. I knew what I came here for.</p>
<p>I knew because Boss didn't make deals.</p>
<p>With clenched teeth, I grabbed the doorknob and fell into it making the door swing open loudly as I stumbled in. It was just a small room and long tunnel, but in front of me stood Boss with his hands around Angela's neck. He dropped her, she crumpled to the ground gasping for air, and then he stared at me like he had seen a ghost.</p>
<p>Maybe that's what I was.</p>
<p>"You just don't know how to die, do you?" Boss asked slowly, more in disbelief than anger.</p>
<p>"It's not one of my strengths, no." I said breathless.</p>
<p>"Small Fry—" Angela gasped, "Knife—he has—<em>knife</em>!"</p>
<p>Boss reached into his suit jacket to pull out a large pocketknife and then everything started to move in slow motion. He was coming toward me, anger rising on his features, and I just watched. His grip on the knife was tight. This was going to hurt. God, this was going to hurt, but I just needed a moment.</p>
<p><em>One moment, one last fight</em>.</p>
<p>Time snapped back and I moved. Boss jabbed at me with the knife, and I grabbed the back of his wrist with my left hand. In a swift motion that made every inch of my body scream, I yanked his left wrist forward, kicked my shin directly into his groin, and then with my right hand on the other side of his hand holding the knife I shoved his arm forward as hard as I could. He let out a cry of agony and the sound of his wrist snapping made me smile despite the pain I felt.</p>
<p>The knife hit the floor and I let go of his hand to scramble for it. Hitting the ground hurt but feeling Boss land on top of me made my entire body shut down for a second. When the world came back into focus I realized Boss had his elbow wrapped around my neck and his other hand tangled in my hair as he tried to break my neck.</p>
<p>"Get the <em>hell</em> off her!" Angela yelled. I couldn't see what she was doing, but I heard Boss cry out and suddenly he was off me. It was only adrenaline that let me grab the knife in my hands and turn around. The moment I managed to shakily rise to my feet, I was tackled by Boss. We both slammed into the ground hard.</p>
<p>I landed on my back, Boss landed on top of me, and we both let out a cry of pain. The force had knocked me out, but only for a second. In a daze, my eyes fluttered open and I gasped when my gaze met his. He stared down at me in disdain, but I watched as the disdain melted into pain that melted into nothing until there was no light behind his eyes. I turned my head to the side as he slumped over on me, his head falling onto my shoulder.</p>
<p>Desperate to get him off me, I pawed at him, but it was to no avail. I was too weak, and he was too heavy. I began to cry and tried to push harder.</p>
<p>"I got you!" With a grunt from someone else, the weight was off me. I gasped, sucking in air, and rolled to my side. Beside me, Boss was lying dead on his back. The knife that had been in my hands when we fell was now impaled into the left side of his chest.</p>
<p>When I lifted my gaze elsewhere, I noticed that Angela was talking to me. She was panicking, and she motioned to me once before disappearing. I glanced over at Boss again and closed my eyes. God, this was worse. This was a worse place to die. I rolled over onto my back, but I could still see him in my peripherals. I bit back a sob, shut my eyes tight preparing for more pain, and then rolled again so I was lying on my right side rather than the left. When my eyes opened, they landed on Steve. He was lying on his side, so close that our chests were nearly touching, and stared at me with a softness I hadn't seen in such a long time. This was another hallucination. I knew that. I knew that, but the longer I stared at him the more I seemed to forget.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Steve. I'm sorry—"</p>
<p>"<em>I know</em>." He said softly. Steve reached out and set his hand on my face. His thumb caressed my cheek. "<em>It's okay. You did so good. You were so strong. I'm so proud of you</em>."</p>
<p>I tried to focus on the weight of his hand on my face, but it was hard to feel. Feather light if there at all. I craved heat. Steve was always so warm, like a space heater, but I couldn't feel any of it right now. There was no warmth in his touch. There was no warmth anywhere. Everything was cold and staring at Steve wasn't helping. Despite being so close, he was still too far away. I still felt alone.</p>
<p>"Please don't leave." I begged desperately.</p>
<p>Steve leaned his head forward so his forehead rested on mine, "<em>Never, baby</em>."</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony had told Barnes that staying on the quinjet was probably his best bet, but the man wouldn't have it and he didn't have time to argue. He would've reacted the same way if someone told him to stay on the jet right now. Hell, Tony would tell them to fuck off and maybe throw some punches. At least, Barnes was polite about it.</p>
<p>As it turned out, letting Barnes come had been useful. When the police had burst in, they started a gunfight with whatever small time drug dealers that had taken up base here. They were bunkered down and trying to peel them out was taking <em>way too damn long</em>.</p>
<p>Maybe it was a bad idea to leave Barnes behind to deal with the fight that blocked them off. Maybe it was a bad idea to sprint through the line of fire to get to a hallway where he was only half sure that Aj was. The issue was that bad ideas were all Tony had left.</p>
<p>He ducked under a spray of bullets that sent concrete dust into the air and ducked into the hallway. Tony sprinted down the first hall, took a sharp right, then kept running. The tracker's signal on his phone told him the general vicinity of where Aj was but he didn't have a map of these halls.</p>
<p>"<em>Help</em>!"</p>
<p>Tony felt his heart stop as Amber Jones turned a corner. Her clothes were covered in blood and she had various injuries that he couldn't account for. It couldn't be Amber. It was the other one. She sprinted forward and grabbed at his shirt, "Help! <em>She needs help</em>!"</p>
<p>"<em>Where is she</em>?!" Tony roared and Amber's twin stuttered out instructions. He pushed her back, "Get to first hallway and wait for the medics! Bring them to where she is when you see them!"</p>
<p>Tony didn't wait for confirmation. He was sprinting. Amber's twin had been covered in so much blood, and as he raced through the halls he couldn't ignore the bloody handprints on the wall and the trail of it leading him forward. With every single step he pleaded with the universe for the blood to belong to someone else. <em>Please, please, please</em>— He found the stairs. Tony didn't need the twin's directions. He could follow the blood. He raced down them two at a time, and when he hit the doorway his feet froze.</p>
<p><em>Red</em>. God, <em>so much red</em>. The entire floor was just covered in it. Two bodies laid motionless. One on their back, the other on their side facing away from the first.</p>
<p>"Aj?" Tony couldn't breathe. He recognized that small frame laying in a too large pool of blood. "<em>Aj</em>!"</p>
<p>He rushed forward, sliding to his knees, and flipped her over onto her back. She was pale. The skin that wasn't stained with blood was too fucking pale. Eyes sunken and so dark that her pretty face nearly looked like a skull. A bullet wound on the left side of her gut. Tony felt her neck for a pulse, finding a faint one, then cupped her face.</p>
<p>"Please, come on, <em>come on</em>." Tony begged. "Come on, Aj. Wake up. <em>Wake up</em>. You gotta—<em>Aj! Come on</em>!"</p>
<p>Her eyes fluttered open slowly but remained unfocused. That familiar shade of ice blue could barely be seen with how much her eyes were dilated. Aj blinked once, and her gaze met his. She opened her mouth, voice raspy and weak, "We gotta…We gotta stop running into each other…like—like this."</p>
<p>Tony let out a laugh of relief, but it was short lived. They weren't out of the woods yet. In fact, they were really fucking deep into this dark, awful forest. Tony sucked in a sharp breath, "Hey, sunshine. Hey. I need you to stay awake, okay? Help is on its way."</p>
<p>"I can feel your hands." Aj said softly, he could barely hear her. "They're <em>warm</em>."</p>
<p>"Focus on that, okay? Stay awake." Tony lifted his head to the door and yelled, "<em>Help</em>! <em>In here, help</em>!" He glanced back down at her, "Keep talking, Aj. I need you to talk to me."</p>
<p>Aj's eyes seemed dim, blank, "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>Tony felt his entire chest ache at her apology, "Don't—<em>Don't</em>. It was me. It wasn't you.<em> It was me</em>. I'm—" This was his fault. He should've gone to her ages ago. He shouldn't have been so stubborn. He had been so scared that she wouldn't forgive him. Tony had been terrified to see hate in her eyes, and now because of him she was dying. God, she couldn't. Her eyes closed and he shook her, "Hey! <em>Hey, no, Aj</em>!"</p>
<p>She was dying and the last thing he said to her was that her family chose to leave her.</p>
<p>"Please, please, no, come on, Aj. <em>Come on</em>!" Tony yelled and shook her harder. Footsteps made him look up in hope, but it was only Bucky. He stood at the doorway with a look of horror on his face. "<em>Where the fuck are they</em>!?" Tony screamed in desperation. He glanced down at Aj one more time then forced himself to stand. "<em>Stay with her</em>!"</p>
<p>Bucky felt Tony shove past him, back up the stairs, and that was the motion he needed to snap him back to reality. He stumbled to where she laid and collapsed onto his knees. He was too late. He was too damn late. Bucky pulled the hair plastered to her face with blood back, and the movement made her eyes slowly open.</p>
<p>He sucked in a sharp breath while Aj just stared up at him. Bucky had been here before. He was sick and tired of kneeling over her broken, bleeding body. He was so sick and tired of seeing her in pain—of seeing her blood. Bucky bit back his horror, pasted a smile on his lips, and cupped her face with his left hand, "<em>Hey, doll</em>."</p>
<p>Aj's lips parted, but it took a moment for her to speak, "Are you really here?"</p>
<p>"Y—Yeah." He leaned over her and used his right hand to push more hair from her features. Even when her face was clear, he kept brushing his hand over her skin. She felt cold, soaked with sweat, and his hand was already red with blood. Her lips briefly twitched up into a semblance of a smile, but it was gone just as quick. Bucky shook his head, "I'm here. And I need you to stay here <em>with</em> me. Please. Please, doll."</p>
<p>She closed her eyes than spoke again, a whisper, "Sorry, I broke my promise."</p>
<p>Bucky never should've asked her to promise her safety. He should've stayed near her and ensured it himself. Bucky pressed his lips together and hung his head. He could hear her heart beating, but it was way too slow. Way too slow, and way too soft. Bucky forced his head back up to look at her, "I got your voicemails. I should've—I should've answered the phone. I shouldn't have left you. I'm sorry, doll. <em>God, I'm so sorry</em>."</p>
<p>Aj was still looking at him, but her gaze seemed shallow. Distant. A tear rolled from the corner of her eyes and Bucky quickly swiped them away. She took a shaky breath, the loudest he had heard from her so far, and then cried out in a voice that cracked with despair and fear, "I don't wanna die." Bucky felt the air get knocked out of his lungs. He could hear yelling down the halls. They were close. They were so close. "<em>I don't… I don't wanna die</em>."</p>
<p>"You're <em>not</em> going to die. <em>Not here. Not today</em>." Bucky said firmly. The first thing she had ever said to him was that she didn't want to die. He wouldn't let it be the last. "They're almost here. Hang on. Just hang on, please. Hang on. <em>Doll</em>…"</p>
<p>"<em>Please don't leave, Toska</em>." Aj sobbed. "<em>I wanna go with you</em>."</p>
<p>Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but he found no words. His watering eyes searched her face for an answer, for a sign, but her own eyes drifted closed and suddenly he couldn't hear her heart. <em>He couldn't hear her heart</em>. Stark burst back into the room followed close by medics, and Bucky stumbled back, out of the way, while the two medics worked with a flurry of motions. Stark was yelling, one of them was pushing down on her chest repeatedly, and the other struggled to prick her arm with a large needle.</p>
<p>Bucky was frozen though. Unmoving.</p>
<p>He couldn't hear her heart.</p>
<p>Aj was his light at the end of his tunnel, the anchor that kept him grounded, and he couldn't hear her goddamn heart.</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Five Bullets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: To everyone who left me a comment I swear I read them all and loved every single one omggg I just didnt have the time to reply to each one like i usually try to do!! Sorry again for that last cliffhanger i know it was mean, but hopefully this update will make up for it! Lemme know what you think, lovelies.</p>
<p>Also the picture below, rather than a summary of the chapter, is the Spotify link to the the 'Not That Lucky' playlist that I created!! Just in case you were curious about what I pictured as this story's soundtrack!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Wkptuwc3VBoNPqwJLFQ2V?si=37947ec7ae7841db">Not That Lucky Soundtrack</a>
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<p>
  <em>"Right now, she's just living her best life. She's focused on herself. She's falling in love with who she is. She's excited about where she's headed, and she's excited about what's next. She has so many goals, so many dreams, so much ambition, and she's constantly finding new passions. She's learning to be spontaneous. She's learning to take risks. And she's constantly stepping outside of her comfort zone. You see—right now, she's just chasing the things that make her happy. She's chasing the things that feed her soul. And to be honest with you—she could care less about what anybody else thinks. Because right now, her life is filled with so much peace. So much light. So much growth. So much faith. And so much hope. And right now, she's just living her best life—and there's absolutely nothing, or no one, that can get in the way of that." –R.S.</em>
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<p>When it came to awkward tension, on a scale of one to ten, the room Clint was standing in was, without a doubt, a 74. It was a '<em>saying good-bye to someone only to find out that they were going in the same direction as you</em>' kind of moment. A '<em>I was stalking my crush on Instagram and accidentally liked a photo of theirs from three years ago at 2 in the morning and they saw it</em>' kind of moment. A '<em>oh god, the movie I'm watching with my parents just started playing a sex scene</em>' kind of moment. Essentially, nobody was having a good time.</p>
<p>Except him.</p>
<p>Clint was pretty cool with these awkward moments.</p>
<p>It came with the territory of being an absolute disaster.</p>
<p>Also, his adopted child wasn't dying anymore so honestly, he was over the moon.</p>
<p>"What gift says, <em>'I'm so glad your exploded spleen didn't kill you'</em>? Flowers or a card?" Clint asked Natasha quietly.</p>
<p>She shot him a glare, "Can you focus on the task at hand?"</p>
<p>"They seem to have a handle on it." Clint motioned to the others. All eyes shot to him at his words. Vision stood to his left, mildly confused, while Natasha and Sam stood on his right in various stages of on edge and irritated. Across from him, Steve stood, arms crossed tightly, and on guard. He was probably so stiff because his homicidal best friend was sitting about twelve feet away on their living room couch, eyes glued to the hands he had clasped in front of him, "Also, <em>why</em> did we step away from Barnes? He has super hearing too, doesn't he? Us whispering on the other side of the room can't be very secretive."</p>
<p>Sam scoffed, "How are you in such a good mood?"</p>
<p>"<em>How</em>? Look, Aj is <em>alive</em>. She's been out of surgery for 6 hours now and is resting comfortably in a medically induced coma to heal." Those words alone seemed to settle the room to a degree. "Eugene fucking Morgan is dead and gone, <em>fuck that guy again</em> in case someone didn't hear me the first <em>17 times</em> I said it. <em>And</em>—" Clint held one hand up and behind it he very obviously motioned toward the quiet man on the couch, "Bucky Barnes hasn't snapped and murdered us yet, so… we are <em>winning</em>, guys."</p>
<p>"<em>Clint</em>." Steve sighed, probably not particularly liking his last bullet point. Another beat of awkward silence passed between them, and Clint could understand why. Bucky Barnes was a danger and risk. He was a wanted man. If the government ever found out the Avengers were housing him the government would lose their collective minds and they'd be in a world of trouble, and <em>blah, blah, blah</em>. Again though, his main points still stood strong.</p>
<p>Aj was alive.</p>
<p>Nothing was going to sour his mood.</p>
<p>Steve was the first to break the silence. He shook his head, "Look, you know what I'm asking. Your opinion is important to me and… this is <em>our</em> home. I want to know exactly how you feel on the matter of Bucky staying here because I <em>know</em> there are risks."</p>
<p>"I'm cool with it, in case that wasn't already abundantly clear." Clint held one hand up to vote. "It's simple. <em>Bucky saved Aj</em>. Hell, I owe the guy a damn parade. He can move into my apartment if he wants."</p>
<p>"No, he can't." Natasha chimed, shutting down the idea of their third roommate, then added, "No offense to the man sitting on the couch most definitely listening, but how sure are we that he isn't going to relapse?"</p>
<p>Steve held one hand out, "He won't—"</p>
<p>"You don't know that for sure, Steve." Sam argued.</p>
<p>"He's clear headed right now."</p>
<p>"Right now." Vision hummed. "I know I am not as well versed as the others on this matter, but your words insinuate that his condition could change at any moment."</p>
<p>Steve continued to argue back and forth with them, but Clint leaned back a bit to see new faces had entered the scene. Pietro must have sped in with his sister because he was now placing her onto her feet in front of Bucky who stared up at them skeptically.</p>
<p>'<em>My sister… make sure it is safe.</em>' Clint read the boy's lips. He only got half the sentence because of the way Pietro's face was turned. Bucky nodded once at the statement and Wanda stepped forward with eyes glowing red.</p>
<p>"Hey, the children are breaking curfew." Clint said calmly.</p>
<p>Heads snapped in that direction before the entire group hurried over. Steve, panicked and worried, tried to reach Bucky, but the quick kid slid into his path in a blink. Pietro shook his head once, "She means no harm."</p>
<p>"What is she doing?" Natasha questioned.</p>
<p>"This is <em>our</em> home now too." Pietro said with a light glare, apparently upset at being sent to his room earlier, "I need to know it's safe for us. For my sister."</p>
<p>Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Wanda suddenly let out a sharp cry of pain before she crumpled down to her knees. Clint's eyes widened as concern washed over him. It was all short lived though because Wanda didn't pay any of them any attention. She continued to stare up at Bucky, features twisted in anguish, while the man looked back at her in confused worry.</p>
<p>Wanda began to speak rapidly, her head shaking as she spoke with her hands, but it was all in Sokovian. Pietro called out to her in their language, but she snapped an answer at him before continuing to ramble. Wanda stood quickly, gave Bucky one last soft look, before hurrying out of the room then disappearing down the hall into her dorm, still mumbling to herself in another language.</p>
<p>Pietro disappeared in a whirl of wind, leaving them in a state of confusion, but was back in under 5 seconds. He gave them a soft smile and thumbs up, "We are okay with him staying. Wanda approves."</p>
<p>"<em>What did she say</em>—" Clint began to ask, but Pietro disappeared again. He grumbled under his breath in annoyance.</p>
<p>"What…" Bucky slowly stood up, still tense, "Who was she?"</p>
<p>Steve stepped closer, "Buck, you okay?"</p>
<p>Natasha crossed her arms and nodded toward him, "What did they say to you?"</p>
<p>"Just…Just asked to look at me." Bucky answered, but his voice was quiet and rough. Clint hummed in thought to himself. Wanda took a look into his head. The teenager took a look in the man's head and whatever she saw sent her <em>to her knees</em>. His first guess would've been fear, but Clint had recognized the agonizing look in Wanda's eyes. Sorrow. <em>Grief</em>. Wanda didn't run from the room because she was scared of Bucky. She ran because she was overcome with emotion.</p>
<p>Vision nodded, "I trust both the Captain's and Wanda's intuition."</p>
<p>"Not mine?" Clint turned to look at him.</p>
<p>"It isn't personal. I've seen you leave a metal spoon in the microwave while cooking." Vision replied in a tone that was informational rather than mocking. Clint crossed his arms sheepishly and just stuck his tongue out.</p>
<p>Natasha spoke up from beside him, "How clear headed are you right now? How much do you remember from before being the Asset?"</p>
<p>Bucky hesitated. His hands opened and closed nervously as his eyes darted to Steve who nodded in encouragement. It was almost funny to see such a large man look so timid. Bucky slouched over, curled in on himself, to make himself seem smaller. Clint wasn't even sure if he was doing it intentionally. Bucky swallowed then gave them a stiff nod, "My ma's name was Winnifred Barnes. I had a sister named Rebecca. I was drafted into the 107th. Steve was always there. Always." At the words, the corner of Bucky's lips curled up in amusement, and he dragged his eyes to stare at his friend. "I remember you used to wear newspapers in your shoes."</p>
<p>Steve's tense shoulders relaxed as he let his crossed arms fall to his side. He was seeing his best friend. Sure, Steve had been staring at his best friend for the past few hours, but it seemed to Clint that this was the first moment that he was <em>seeing</em> Bucky Barnes. The kid he used to run down the streets of Brooklyn with. The entire group seemed to relax a degree at the statement.</p>
<p>"That's adorable." Sam spoke up and crossed his own arms, looking to Steve, "But just like that? He gives us a cute story about your <em>scrawny</em> ass back in the day, and we're supposed to be cool? As if he didn't <em>rip</em> the steering wheel outta my car <em>while</em> I was driving—" Sam pointed at Bucky with a raised eyebrow, "—don't think I forgot about that. You owe me a new car, man."</p>
<p>Bucky took everyone by shock when he furrowed his eyebrows at Sam and spoke in a rough but level voice, "You're the guy that pretends to be a bird or something right?"</p>
<p>Sam's jaw fell open while Steve lowered his head and hid a laugh in a cough. Clint grinned in amusement as he watched the Falcon go through all 7 stages of grief at once. He snickered in excitement and immediately leaned to Natasha. The red head, always three steps ahead of him, turned around to face only him and mouthed, '<em>No. You can't adopt him</em>.'</p>
<p>"So, what apartment is he getting?" Clint clapped his hands, trying to move this stagnant conversation along, "Because I personally think the open apartment beside Sam's would be <em>ideal</em>."</p>
<p>Sam shot him a glare that Clint beamed at. Natasha shook her head, "If he's going to stay here, I think he should stay with Steve. Having someone he knows close will help him, and it'll make me feel better to know that if he does relapse another super soldier is right there to reign him in."</p>
<p>"That's fair." Steve agreed quickly.</p>
<p>"You can have the larger apartment on the fifth floor. Clint and I will move back onto the fourth floor."</p>
<p>Clint's head snapped away from mocking Sam to look at his girlfriend, "I'm sorry. Did I just hear you <em>hand off our apartment</em>?"</p>
<p>"Weren't you the one that said he should move in with us?" Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. "Now if you boys will excuse me, I have a hospital to visit."</p>
<p>Clint gave Bucky one last look before jogging after Natasha. She slowed enough to allow him to match her pace. When they got out of the building he glanced at Natasha. He nodded, "You know what Wanda said don't you?"</p>
<p>"I'm not fluent in Sokovian." Natasha replied.</p>
<p>"You know enough." Clint argued. "Plus, I know Bucky's cute newspaper story isn't what sold you. It was Wanda looking into his head. Whatever she said about it made you consider it. What did she say?"</p>
<p>Natasha slowed to a stop, her gaze distant, then she replied, "Wanda was… <em>apologizing</em>. Then she was praying. She switched to Hebrew which I didn't understand, but... she was <em>desperate</em>. Clint, I think she was praying <em>for</em> Barnes."</p>
<p>Clint hummed curiously. Maybe he should've been more concerned about the new living situation, but something told him things were going to be okay. Call it a gut feeling. Something about all of this just felt right to him, and Clint wasn't going to start second guessing himself now.</p>
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<p>When I opened my eyes, I could see Tony. I was confused, my brain was fuzzy, but a slow smile spread across my features. It was like I was swimming in a fog, but if Tony was here then I was okay. If Tony was here, then I was safe.</p>
<p>He sat in a chair slumped over. Tony's hair was a mess and his usual clean goatee was unkempt. His mouth ajar as he snored, but whatever rest he was getting didn't seem to help the dark bags he had under his eyes. Tony had on long pajama pants and a shirt I knew belonged to Clint. The hole in the shoulder and cartoon penguin gave it away.</p>
<p>I took a slow breath. It was warm. <em>I</em> was warm. The coldness that I had felt at my core was gone. When I shifted in place, pain lanced through my body, and I stiffened in response. A hiss slipping from my lips. The pain was awakening. I felt the fog fading.</p>
<p>"<em>Aj</em>?"</p>
<p>I glanced back over to see Tony sitting up now with wide eyes. For a moment, we just sat there staring at one another. I could see the exhaustion on his features. The kind of exhaustion he wore when he stayed in his lab for over 72 hours. It went beyond just bags or worry lines. This was the kind of exhaustion you could see echoing throughout his warm brown eyes. Tony gave me a once over, panicked, but I smirked at him, "God, you look like shit."</p>
<p>It took a moment, but once he registered the words the man let out a loud bark of laughter and it made the warmth spread to my chest. I missed that sound. Tony laughed again, more in relief than amusement, and he leaned forward in his seat to press his forehead against his clasped hands. Only a few seconds passed before he sat back up with a watery smile. He shifted the chair closer and shook his head, his voice hoarse, "You're one to talk, sunshine."</p>
<p>I shifted again and grunted at the pain. Tony scolded me, telling me to stay still, and reached out to tightly hold my left hand. I took notice that my gauntlets and the two braided bracelets were gone. My gaze lifted to look around the very familiar room and surprise washed over me as I recognized where I was, "Is this the same hospital room I was in after Russia?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, it is." Tony nodded. "Make sure they punch your frequent flyer card. One more stay, and I think you get a free x-ray."</p>
<p>I chuckled then moaned at the motion, "<em>God, that hurts</em>." I used my right hand to pull my blanket down and then began to tug my gown up. Tony told me I should stop, but it was too late. My eyes landed on the gnarly wound at my center. The long incision ran along my midline between my sternum and bellybutton. It was about 5 inches long and sutured up. To the left of it was the hole where the bullet tore through me also sutured up. Both wounds were clean and pale in color. No red irritation or any other signs that this happened recently, "Tony—"</p>
<p>"The bullet hit your spleen. Tore it to shreds. It's why there was so much blood. You were so unstable that they had to go with the large incision rather than the smaller ones they use on the regular. It was an emergency splenectomy." Tony recited the facts robotically. "They sucked up all the internal bleeding, scooped out the chunks of your spleen, and then fished out the bullet since there was no exit wound. Luckily, your spleen was the only organ <em>physically</em> damaged in the trauma." Tony paused and when he began to speak again his voice was tight. "Surgery took <em>three and a half hours</em>." I glanced away from the wounds to see pain written all over his features. "You died once in the basement, then two more times mid-surgery."</p>
<p>"How long have I been out?" I asked softly.</p>
<p>"Three days." He replied and my eyes widened. Tony let out a chuckle, but it was one of pain, "Probably should be longer, but luckily you're a <em>freakishly</em> good healer. That's probably the only reason you're alive. Again."</p>
<p>I tried to remember what I could. The last thing that came to me with ease was seeing Bucky's face inches from mine pleading, but I had been seeing a <em>lot</em> of things. It was hard to separate what was real and what was just a drug induced hallucination. At that thought, I glanced down at the crook of my left elbow. Tony used the hand that wasn't desperately clutching to mine to rub his hand over the blank space.</p>
<p>"The track marks are gone now. The amount of cocaine they found in your system was…<em>alarming</em>." Tony said slowly. "Like, overdose levels."</p>
<p>"Yeah." I replied, "I promise I'm not a drug addict."</p>
<p>Tony snorted, "No kidding, Aj. I think one of us at the Tower would've noticed if you were a crack head."</p>
<p>I wanted to laugh, but my brain was forcing me to try and remember being under its influence. Cocaine had wiped that slate clean. My head had dumped every memory of the fights. I couldn't even remember how many I had been in. It was a blur of blood, fists, and pain. I vaguely remembered fighting Kyle towards the end, but every fight before it was missing from my mind. There was a weird mix of hate and love for it. It was nice not being able to remember the fights. I had been so concerned about losing myself in it, falling in love with the fight again, but my drugged up brain couldn't even remember it. I also hated it though. For the same reason I hated pain medication. Losing any sense of time or self made me uncomfortable. Plus, I couldn't say I turned away from the ring of my own volition. The drugs made that choice for me. For all I knew now, I had another relapse waiting for me down the line.</p>
<p>"Hey, talk to me." Tony said softly.</p>
<p>"She made me." I said, staring at his hand covering my bare arm. Tony squeezed my elbow softly and I lifted my gaze to meet his. "Said it was the only way to make it a fair fight. After every round, she'd inject more. I can't remember the fights so I don't—I don't know how many times…"</p>
<p>Tony slid his hand down my arm to wrap around my hand like his other still was. His hands cupped mine, and he drew it up to his forehead while hanging his head in shame. The man's shoulders rose and fell with every strangled breath that escaped him.</p>
<p>"Tony." I whispered, but he shook his head once not even looking up. Tony looked like a man at prayer. He looked like he was silently begging some higher being for forgiveness. For a crime he didn't commit. <em>A crime</em>. I felt my body stiffen as a very specific memory settled in the front of my mind. The knife sticking out of Boss' chest. His lifeless eyes staring at me but unseeing. "I killed him." I had done a lot of terrible, terrible things in my life, but up until now <em>murder</em> never made the list. "Oh my God, <em>I killed him</em>."</p>
<p>Tony's head snapped away from my hands, his grip tightening around me, and fire in his eyes, "Don't you dare. Don't even go there." He spoke firmly leaving no room for arguments. "The bastard was trying to <em>kill you</em>, Aj. This was self-defense. You did <em>nothing</em> wrong. He was a dead man the moment he pulled that trigger. If you hadn't done it then <em>I</em> would've. Or Bucky. Whichever one of us got to him first."</p>
<p>My eyes widened, "<em>B—Bucky</em>?"</p>
<p>"I <em>know</em> you saw him." Tony shook his head. "The two of you had a Romeo and Juliet moment for crying out loud."</p>
<p>I blinked in surprise. I remembered seeing Bucky staring down at me, cupping my face, and consoling me. I could remember the way his hand felt stroking my face as he begged me to stay. His stormy, sad eyes never leaving mine. He couldn't have been real though. That's what my thought process had assumed at least. I shook my head, "I thought he was just another hallucination."</p>
<p>"<em>Another</em>? How many did you—" Tony shook his head, "Never mind. Cocaine and blood loss will do that to you, I guess. <em>Yes</em>. Bucky Barnes was there." There was a tense moment where Tony just clenched and unclenched his jaw a few times, his hands tightening around mine involuntarily. He finally whispered, "I wanted to kill him, Aj. <em>God</em>, did I want to kill him."</p>
<p>"Tony…"</p>
<p>He chuckled without humor, sadness in his eyes, "He came to the Compound's front door. Showed up out of the blue looking…<em>looking like hell</em>. Greasy hair, pale skin, clothes he must have found in a dumpster… and all of that was <em>nothing</em> compared to the look in his eyes. I've never seen someone so…<em>broken</em>." Tony was leaning his elbows on the bed, my hand still in his, but I didn't mind. If it were up to me I'd never let him go. "I was going to kill him. I was going to shoot him dead but— but then the guy…" Tony scoffed. "I asked him to give me a reason why I shouldn't, and he told me <em>that I should</em>." He shook his head once. "I—I couldn't do it. I couldn't pull the trigger."</p>
<p>"It's because you're a <em>good man</em>." I smiled and tried not to think about Bucky telling Tony to kill him. It hurt too much.</p>
<p>"Not that good." Tony's dark eyes looked hollow with guilt. "<em>I hurt you</em>."</p>
<p>I shook my head quickly, "Tony, <em>no</em>."</p>
<p>"The moment I said it I—" Tony's voice broke as he turned his gaze from me to the bed, "This <em>entire </em>past month, I wanted to go see you. To apologize. <em>Beg for forgiveness</em>, but… I couldn't do that either. <em>I was scared</em>. I've fucked up <em>so many</em> relationships, I've hurt <em>so many</em> people, and I…" Tony's eyes snapped back to me, they were rimmed with red, "And then Bucky shows up at my door, tells me he thinks you're in danger, and we go—we go and… When I got to you there was—<em>God, there was so much blood</em>, <em>Aj</em>. It was all I could see and—and <em>all</em> I could think about was that the very <em>last thing</em> I said to you was that—"</p>
<p>Tony couldn't finish his sentence. He just hung his head in agony. Tony choked on the words, suffocated in guilt, and it <em>killed</em> me. I should've come to him sooner. This entire month he stewed over this, tortured himself, and that was on me. That was my fault. I should've known he'd do this to himself. Crucify himself just like I was trying to do to myself. I squeezed his hand tightly.</p>
<p>"I knew you didn't mean it." I said, and Tony's head snapped up to look at me. I gave him a firm smile and shook my head, "A part of me wanted to take it to heart, there's this small piece of me that <em>always</em> wants to believe the worst, but… I <em>knew</em> you didn't mean it. The day you said it— <em>hell</em>, minutes after… <em>I knew it</em>. There was <em>no</em> doubt in my mind of that." I shrugged and ignored the ache. "I wanted to come and see you too, <em>so bad</em>, but I thought you needed time. After what I told you, after <em>what I did</em>—"</p>
<p>Tony shook his head, eyebrows furrowed, "<em>You did the right thing</em>. You told me the <em>truth</em>. You didn't keep it from me." He said firmly, pain in his voice. "Thank you, Aj. <em>Thank you</em>."</p>
<p>"I'm still sorry." I whispered. My eyes stung with unshed tears. "If it felt like I was picking Bucky over you, I <em>swear</em> I wasn't. <em>I really wasn't</em>. Bucky is my friend, and I care about him <em>so much</em>, but you—<em>you</em>—"</p>
<p>Tony chuckled and nodded his head once, "Yeah. You're my family too, sunshine."</p>
<p>I pulled on his hand, so he came forward, then threw my arms around his shoulders. My abdomen screamed and ached, but I wasn't going to let go. Not anytime soon. Tony tightened his arms around me. He tilted his head once, to kiss the side of my head, then squeezed me again. Finally, he pulled back and scolded me again not to move so much. I just laughed at his words.</p>
<p>He smirked, "You know, I've always wanted an annoying little sister. It's kind of neat."</p>
<p>I laughed again, "If we're going by mental maturity then <em>I'm</em> the responsible, big sister and <em>you're</em> the annoying, baby brother."</p>
<p>"<em>Responsible, big sister, my ass</em>." Tony scoffed. His eyes suddenly widened in amusement, "Speaking of me being the <em>best</em> big brother ever—" I scoffed this time. Tony reached over to grab something off the small dresser by the bed and brought a splotchy, brown banana into view. "Last time we were here your potassium was low. Figured we could get a jump on that."</p>
<p>I laughed but it was immediately replaced with a groan of pain at the movement, "That looks <em>awful</em>. How long has it been there?"</p>
<p>"I brought that in day one." Tony replied with a grin. "I've been waiting over 72 hours to make that joke."</p>
<p>"It aged about as well as that banana did." I snorted. Tony tossed the banana back onto the dresser and returned his hands to mine. There was a moment of quiet before I spoke again, nervously, "Where…Where is Bucky?"</p>
<p>Tony stiffened, "He, uh, he's okay. He's safe. Right now, we're hiding him at the Compound, keeping him out of General Ross' eyes."</p>
<p>"Ross? Like Betty Ross?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's her dad." Tony answered. "Real dickhead. He's been put in charge of the manhunt after <em>your </em>Bucky Barnes. He's also the asshole that's been pushing superpowered restrictions any chance he gets."</p>
<p>I scrunched my nose up in annoyance, "<em>Ew</em>. What a <em>tool</em>." I paused in thought. "Wait, so if Bruce ever gets married to Betty does that mean we have to meet him at the wedding?"</p>
<p>Tony laughed, "Ross hates <em>every</em> single Avenger personally, but his hatred for Bruce Banner is <em>monumental</em>. There's no peaceful wedding where we're all in attendance."</p>
<p>"That'd be an interesting wedding at least." I mumbled. After a beat, I squeezed his hand once, "Are you okay? With Bucky being at the Compound?"</p>
<p>Tony twisted his lips, and I gave him a moment to think it over. I knew this had to be hard for him. Hearing Bucky was at the Compound at all was shocking. Finally, Tony gave me a tight nod, "I'm angry still. That can't be helped. But…" He sighed once. "He killed my mom—" Tony cut himself off sharply then restarted. "<em>The Winter Soldier</em> killed my parents, but… <em>Bucky Barnes</em> risked <em>everything</em> to save <em>you</em>." Tony smiled at me. "Without him, I wouldn't have even known you were in DC. I can't…I can't seem to hate the guy anymore. Not after that."</p>
<p>"I'm proud of you." I said softly.</p>
<p>He shook his head, "By no means does me saying I don't hate him equal '<em>we're bestest friends</em>'. But, I will admit that the guy needs some serious help. HYDRA put that guy's brain in a damn <em>blender</em>. We wouldn't be the Avengers if we turned him away, yeah?"</p>
<p>"I'm still proud of you."</p>
<p>Tony rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Do you want your '<em>Thanks for not croaking on me'</em> gift now or later?"</p>
<p>He didn't give me a chance to choose and reached back to dig into the pocket of the coat that hung on the back of his chair. I narrowed my eyes at him, "If you pull out another <em>rotting banana</em> I swear to God—"</p>
<p>"<em>Surprise</em>." Tony chirped and tossed a set of keys into my lap. My eyes widened as I just stared down at it like it was a ticking bomb. The thick black plastic cover that covered the flip around key had the word '<em>Jeep'</em>on it in bold, silver letters. It was attached to a key ring where a souvenir Iron Man mask hung like a charm. My eyes snapped up to him as my right hand slowly picked it up. Tony shook his head, "Before you complain, it's already bought and sitting in the garage. I figure, the next time I'm a giant asshole you can just drive away from me with the Jeep instead of having to call someone to come pick you up. A dramatic exit isn't really the same when you have to wait for your ride to get to you."</p>
<p>"Or… I could just hit you with my new car when you're being an ass." I joked.</p>
<p>"<em>Speaking of irresponsible driving</em>", Tony scoffed, "Do you have a driver's license yet?"</p>
<p>"I have one—"</p>
<p>"A <em>valid</em> one?"</p>
<p>I gave him a sheepish smile, "No."</p>
<p>"Uh huh." Tony scooped the keys out of my hand with ease and I laughed. "Don't worry, sunshine, I'll teach you how to drive when we get back home."</p>
<p>I scoffed, "I know how to drive! I just <em>legally</em> can't right now."</p>
<p>"I'll buy of those lights that sit on the top of the car that says, '<em>Student Driver'</em>." Tony nodded while I complained. "Pete's gonna turn 16 this year so he can join along in our class. Be your classmate."</p>
<p>"I've seen Parker in Driver's Ed, trust me when I say you <em>do not</em> wanna be the one in charge of teaching him how to drive." We both glanced over at the door where familiar faces stood. Mj had been the one who spoke, and she stood beside her mother and…her mother.</p>
<p>I leaned toward Tony, "Am I still hallucinating or is someone standing next to Amber?"</p>
<p>"Both twins are present." Tony confirmed.</p>
<p>Amber was dressed in a collared dress with perfectly curled hair and a bright smile. Mj stood in a t-shirt, flannel, and jeans in front of her mom. Lastly, Angela stood by Amber's side wearing a tank top, jeans, and jean jacket with it. Her face was still bruised and even from here I could see the darker splotches of skin around her neck where Boss had been choking her.</p>
<p>"We just wanted to check on you, Aj. The front desk told us you woke up." Amber came in and stood by the bed. "How do you feel?"</p>
<p>"Kind of like I got shot." I said, my eyes sliding over to Angela who stiffened.</p>
<p>Amber reached forward and surprised me with a hug, "Thank you so much. This family owes you <em>everything</em>."</p>
<p>I shook my head and rubbed her back, "No, you don't. This is just what friends do for one another."</p>
<p>Angela suddenly stepped forward, "Can I—Can I talk to Aj alone for a second?"</p>
<p>Tony set his hand on my shoulder. I glanced back at him and gave him a small nod. Tony kissed the top of my head, Mj hugged me, and then the three of them left the room. My eyes slid back to Angela who stood nervously by my bed. I didn't know what to say. Luckily, she spoke first.</p>
<p>"No one knew I had worked with Boss on this. They assumed I was a victim too." She said quietly. Angela tangled her fingers together and twisted them with her eyes downcast, "I don't know if I should say sorry or thank you."</p>
<p>I shrugged, "Both wouldn't hurt."</p>
<p>Angela chuckled and looked back up to meet my gaze, "I betrayed you. I <em>hurt</em> you. Then, you…you come <em>back from the dead</em> to save me? How did you even get back up after he shot you?"</p>
<p>"Good question. Apparently, my stubbornness knows no bounds."</p>
<p>"I didn't deserve to be saved. When you got up, you should've gone for help. <em>To save yourself</em>. I—I didn't deserve to be rescued." Angela shook her head. Eyes watering.</p>
<p>I gave her a small smile, "Maybe. Maybe not. Who am I to judge that kind of thing? All I can do is be myself. Saving my own skin and leaving you for dead isn't really my style."</p>
<p>Angela nodded and swallowed nervously, "Can you… Can you give me <em>one more day</em> with my sister and niece? Call the cops on me tomorrow? I know I don't deserve to ask, but…"</p>
<p>"I'm not going to tell the cops anything other than Eugene Morgan tried to kill us both. Which is technically the truth." I shrugged. Angela stiffened in shock and I rolled my eyes, "You sold me out. You <em>betrayed</em> me. I've done some real shitty stuff too, but… someone cared enough to give me a second chance. Hell, a third and fourth chance." I chuckled. "Don't make me regret it. Your family loves you <em>so</em> much. Mj looks up to you. Don't let them down, Hammerhead."</p>
<p>She let out a small laugh, tears dripping down her cheeks that she quickly swiped away, "My, uh, my name is Angela."</p>
<p>"Nice to meet you, Angela. Can I call you Angie?" I held my hand out to shake hers.</p>
<p>"<em>Absolutely fucking not</em>." Angela snorted. Instead of grabbing my hand, she reached into her jean jacket pocket and then dumped what she pulled out into my hand. My eyes widened at the five bullets. My mind went back to that moment where Boss yanked the gun back from Angela and pulled the trigger over and over and over to no avail. The gun had been empty and in the moment I had been in too much pain to think much of it. My eyes snapped back to hers and she shrugged. "Get better soon, Aj."</p>
<p>"Thanks." I said softly and brought the bullets closer to look at them. I rolled them around in my palm. Five bullets in my hand, unfired, and the sixth had made its home in my gut. I glanced up to see Angela was on her way out of the room. She stopped at the door, froze, and then slowly turned back around. I furrowed my brow, "What's up?"</p>
<p>Angela took one step forward, "You <em>know</em> why Boss was <em>so</em> obsessed with you, right?"</p>
<p>"No." I shook my head. "I figure, I was just <em>unlucky</em> enough to catch his eye."</p>
<p>"It's because you're better than the rest of us, Aj." Angela said and my eyes widened. "You <em>always</em> have been. That ring…It was filled with lost souls, scum, the worst of the worst. People who'd <em>sell out</em> their neighbor for <em>one</em> warm meal. It was <em>cutthroat</em>. It was—It was a <em>black hole</em>, void of any sort of virtue." Angela motioned to me. "When you came in, you were different. You were this…light. <em>This fire</em>. You stood out. That's why Boss targeted you the way he did. That's why he <em>tried to ruin you</em>. Just like all the rest of us, he saw you for what you truly are."</p>
<p>"A mentally unstable asshole with some questionable coping mechanisms?" I joked dryly.</p>
<p>Angela chuckled, "<em>A good person</em>."</p>
<p>She tapped the doorframe with her knuckles once, giving me one last nod, then turned and left. I sat in the bed, in the quiet and warmth, then looked down at my hand again where the bullets sat. <em>A good person</em>. That's all I ever wanted to be, wasn't it? It's what I <em>strived</em> for. As much as I wanted to cling to that title, I couldn't let go of the one Vincent had confirmed for me. I was a <em>monster</em>—or, I had the potential to be one. The two identities couldn't co-exist with one another in my head. But maybe… Maybe that's all a good person was.</p>
<p>A monster who chose to do the right thing again and again.</p>
<p>I could live with that.</p>
<p>My hands closed around the bullets as my lips twitched up into a small smile. I held my fist out over the side of the bed and, slowly, I let each bullet slip from my enclosed hand one at a time.</p>
<p>
  <em>One.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Two.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Three.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Four.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Five</em>.</p>
<p>It was over. Boss was gone.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Aj had been moved from the hospital to the Compound's medbay for the rest of her recovery. It only made sense. She was doing well, physically. All that was left was letting her body rest and recover. Granted, for Aj that was always the hardest part. The woman was allergic to staying still or in one spot. It was why when Steve walked to the private medbay where she was supposed to be all he found was an empty bed.</p>
<p>"FRIDAY?"</p>
<p>"<em>Captain, Ms. Bradshaw is in her apartment right now. She popped the same stitch</em>."</p>
<p>As crazy as it sounded, Aj being in the medically induced coma for three days after her surgery had done her a world of good. It gave her body a solid 72 hours to heal without having to deal with her own bad habits. Still, the actual bullet wound that had been stitched up was the last to heal. It had been doing well, but then Aj tore it open at the hospital once. Then she tore it again when she got to Compound. And now, apparently, she did it for a third time.</p>
<p>"Why didn't you notify anybody?" Steve questioned and hurried to the elevator.</p>
<p>"<em>The blood loss is minor, and Ms. Bradshaw was expressively clear on the fact that she should be left alone. Her vocabulary is very colorful</em>."</p>
<p>Steve rode up the elevator, but when the doors opened he froze. He had spent time sitting at her bedside at the hospital, the moments when Pepper pulled Tony away to take care of himself, but she had been unconscious then. This would be the first time he saw her <em>awake</em>. He wasn't proud to admit it, but he was avoiding the interaction.</p>
<p>Aj nearly died.</p>
<p>Actually, Aj <em>did</em> die.</p>
<p><em>Three fucking times</em>.</p>
<p>Steve couldn't bring himself to even think on the anger he used to feel because it always led back to the fact that he had been <em>so close</em> to losing her <em>forever</em>. That put things in a new perspective. Everything did. Tony calling him a hypocrite for keeping his own secret. Bucky scolding him for being upset with Aj for just doing what he asked. Aj lying in a basement alone <em>bleeding to death</em>… It gave a man a lot to think on.</p>
<p>He stepped out of the elevator and made his way to her apartment door. The red door was completely open, and the inside was dark. Steve walked into the foyer, but before he could call out for her he spotted her across the living room. Aj was standing outside the sliding glass door on the balcony alone.</p>
<p>She wasn't the same to him. Steve could still feel the echoes of his sadness that stemmed from Aj not being honest with him. That existed because he expected one thing from her, but looking at it now… Maybe Steve had been pushing ideals on her that she didn't fit. He saw what he wanted to see. He saw what he had created in his head. She was more than that though. Aj was <em>more</em>.</p>
<p>The last four days spent with Bucky had been a Godsend. His best friend was hurt, broken, but he still existed. Bucky wasn't lost to HYDRA or the Winter Soldier. There were a lot of things that were different about him, which was expected, but at the end of the day, Bucky, at his core, was still the man that he could always trust to have his back. And anytime he admired it, Bucky would take the time to press on how much Aj had done for him.</p>
<p>Aj hadn't told him the truth, but she <em>had</em> saved his best friend.</p>
<p>She had done what she thought was right, and even though in the moment Steve didn't agree on whether or not it had been right, it was clear to see now. Aj had taken weight of the moment. Maybe she knew how much she was hurting him in the present, but she braced that fear and pushed onwards leading him to where they were now.</p>
<p>And, Steve was <em>happy</em>. God, he was happy. There was so much that needed to be repaired. He needed to fix what he had broken between him and Tony. Steve hated the way the genius would leave the room anytime he stepped in. He needed to clear the air between him and Aj. Steve could do it though. He knew he could. The hardest part of it all, making sure Bucky was alive, safe, and in the setting to heal, was done.</p>
<p>Taking in a sharp breath, he steeled himself and crossed the room. Steve purposely made his footsteps a bit louder so he didn't spook her. Still, Aj didn't turn around. She held onto the balcony rail, wearing the medbay dress code of a plain white shirt and sweatpants, and her gaze was up at the sky.</p>
<p>Tony had designed Aj's room on the side of the campus away from the bulk of the outdoor lights that way at night she'd be able to see the stars. He knew this because he had suggested it to the genius. Steve stood at the doorframe and tried to find the words to say.</p>
<p>"Do you wanna look at the stars with me?" Aj asked quietly. Her voice was so soft that Steve was partly convinced that he had made it up and was just hearing what he wanted to hear. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he gave her an acknowledgement and walked slowly to stand beside her.</p>
<p>Steve set his hands on the railing, like her, and cleared his throat, "I—I heard you popped your stitch again."</p>
<p>"Yeah. I did."</p>
<p>He opened his mouth, paused awkwardly, then chickened out and continued to talk about her wound, "We should take you back to the—"</p>
<p>"I don't like being in there at night." Aj didn't take her eyes off the sky and Steve couldn't loosen the white knuckle grip he had on the railing. "I've been having bad nightmares and when I wake up in a hospital bed I—"</p>
<p>Aj didn't finish her thought, but she didn't have to. Steve finally forced himself to look at her. She still had purplish yellow shadows under her eyes, remnants from her broken nose, but that was the only injury left on her features. The dim light from the crescent moon should've made it hard to see, but his serum enhanced eyes had no problem adjusting to the lack of light. It was why he could, so clearly, see the silent tears falling down her face, the redness of her nose and cheeks.</p>
<p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p>
<p>She hesitated, her head lowering slightly to stare straight ahead at the horizon, "When it happened… I hallucinated. All of you were there. One at a time, at least." Steve didn't reply. He did know. Aj had recounted all of this to Tony who helped her with the police and SHIELD record. Steve hadn't known the exact hallucinations she had though. "Sometimes when I fall asleep, I dream that I'm back in that basement… I'm bleeding and <em>bleeding</em> and my brain tricks me into thinking that the rescue was just another hallucination." There was a tense silence and Steve watched as her nose scrunched up and her lower lip quivered. Aj's voice broke, "<em>Steve, I'm scared I'm still there</em>."</p>
<p>"Hey, you're <em>not</em>. You're <em>safe</em>, Aj. <em>I swear it</em>." Steve tried to reassure her. He wanted to reach out to her. Pull her into his arms, but he wasn't sure he should. If she would want him to. "What can I do? How can I prove it to you?"</p>
<p>Aj finally turned to look at him and her gaze meeting his nearly knocked his knees out from under him. <em>God, he missed her</em>. God, he hated <em>everything</em> she had gone through. They should've been there for her. <em>He </em>should've been there for her.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. <em>I'm so sorry</em>, <em>Steve</em>. I'm sorry." Aj shook her head. He opened his mouth to cut her off, tell her to stop apologizing, but she pressed on, "Can I touch you? I don't deserve to ask—to— but I…I <em>need</em> the warmth. I <em>have</em> to feel the <em>warmth</em>."</p>
<p>Steve didn't need more than that. He didn't need clarification or confirmation. He reached out to peel her hand off the railing and hold in his. Steve slowly brought it up to his mouth and pressed his lips against the back of her hand. He didn't look away from her the entire time which is why he was able to see the <em>exact </em>moment she tipped over the edge.</p>
<p>Aj began to sob, her entire body shaking, and Steve quickly pulled her into his arms. She threw her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder, and he was sure that if it weren't for his own arms wrapped tightly around her, Aj would've collapsed to the ground. Steve felt her hot, wet tears against his collarbone, soaking into his shirt, and he buried one hand into the back of her hair to hold her as close as he possibly could.</p>
<p>So much was different, his exact relationship with Aj included, but one thing that hadn't changed was the love he felt for the woman in his arms.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Clint hadn't been kidding when he said Tony kept my apartment all done up. The furniture had come in and been arranged, all my clothes and knick knacks from the Tower had been brought over, and he had even pulled the pictures I had hung up off the wall and pinned them all over my fridge.</p>
<p>It was such a small act, but it mean so much.</p>
<p>I crossed my arms, burying myself even further into the sweater I had stolen from Thor ages ago, and stepped out of the elevator when it stopped on the communal floor. For the most part, I felt good. I still wasn't allowed to do anything beyond just walking on my own, but all things considered I didn't have room to complain. At least I was fucking alive.</p>
<p>"<em>Ah</em>!" I jumped in surprise at the unfamiliar voice while walking to the kitchen and turned just in time to see a blur of white and green pull me into a hug. It was a boy. Taller than me and lean. The body of a runner. "It is <em>so</em> good to see you, Aj. I am glad you are alive."</p>
<p>"Thank you…person I do not know." I replied and let my hand pat his back in a friendly manner.</p>
<p>The boy pulled back with a wide, charming grin. He couldn't be older than 18 and though his roots were dark the bulk of his hair was a bright white. He had on a green t-shirt and black joggers. The kid set his hands on my arms, "We have not met. My name is Pietro."</p>
<p>"Oh!" I said in recognition. "You're the Sokovian kid. From the Ultron ordeal. Fast runner?"</p>
<p>Pietro nodded, "Yes, yes, and yes." As if to prove it, he disappeared, my hair blew back in a rush of wind, and then he was in front of me again with a flower. "For you."</p>
<p>"Well, aren't you precious?" I cooed and took the yellow daisy from him. "How did you know my name?"</p>
<p>"Ah, my sister saw into your head." Pietro shrugged nonchalantly.</p>
<p>I blinked in shock, "Your sister saw <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, that's this one's fault."</p>
<p>We both glanced over to see Clint wandering into the space from the hall that would lead back to Tony's lab and the private medical bay. Beside him was a young woman. She was pretty with long brown hair that had accents of maroon throughout it. The teen wore a white spaghetti strap top, jeans, and large, loose gray cardigan over it all.</p>
<p>"Old man—" Pietro was suddenly across the room, but the moment he became visible Clint spun and managed to catch him in a headlock. "—<em>hey</em>!"</p>
<p>"Who's old and slow now, <em>you little shit</em>?" Clint laughed and began to give him a noogie.</p>
<p>The girl, Wanda if I remembered correctly, swept across the room to stand in front of me with a hesitant smile. She shifted in place slightly, her hands clasped together in front of her. She spoke in a thick Sokovian accent, "Hi, I am Wanda. I told Pietro about you. I didn't mean to…to look into your head. Clint says it's… <em>invasive</em>."</p>
<p>"Look <em>into</em> my head?" I raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>Wanda's eyes flashed red briefly and she shrugged, "My…powers. I'm still practicing what I see."</p>
<p>"What <em>did</em> you see?" I asked curiously. Poor kid took a look into my head? God, she might need therapy just from being in my vicinity.</p>
<p>Wanda crossed her arms sheepishly, "Your fear was <em>loud</em>. I didn't mean to see it, and I didn't touch it, <em>I swear</em>. I pulled back as soon as I realized—"</p>
<p>"Hey, hey." I reached out and set a comforting hand on her shoulder. Wanda's eyes flashed red again and I gave her a smile, "I'm not upset. I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with what you have on your hands. I won't even pretend to know. It's okay."</p>
<p>Wanda seemed to slump in relief. She glanced over at Clint and Pietro who were still wrestling around, Clint had somehow ended up on the ground with Pietro digging his knee between his shoulder blades, and then took a step closer to me, "I saw your nightmares. The ones where you think you're waking up in the basement alone." I felt my shoulders stiffen and my breath catch in my throat. Those had been playing on the regular in my head. "I think I can fix that. Make it so you <em>always</em> know you're here."</p>
<p>My eyes widened, but Clint was the one to speak up, "Wait, hey, I don't think that's a good idea."</p>
<p>Wanda frowned and took a step back, but I followed so she was still close to me. I shook my head, "No, please. I'd love for you to try. <em>Anything</em> to stop these nightmares."</p>
<p>"I don't think I can stop them, but… I can make it so you know it isn't real. That it's just a dream and you're safe."</p>
<p>Clint was suddenly standing beside us with Pietro a step behind him, "Look, seriously, Wanda you've been doing great in training, but this is someone's <em>head</em>—"</p>
<p>"My sister can do this." Pietro scoffed. "<em>Easy</em>."</p>
<p>Wanda didn't look quite as sure, and the argument was probably a factor to that. I reached out to cup her elbow, "Hey. It's okay. Give it a shot."</p>
<p>Clint shot me a skeptical look. I knew he was just worried, but after the death scare they were all jittery about anything involving me. Wanda took a deep breath and then held her hands up on either side of my head. Her eyes began to glow, not just a flash, and there was a matching glow dancing around her fingers. This went on for a few more seconds, and when she pulled back I didn't feel any different.</p>
<p>When I thought about the dreams though, the fear that had always sat in a corner of my mind waiting until nightfall when it was quiet to come out, I couldn't find it. Instead, a reassuring one sat in its place. I was home. No doubt lingered. <em>I was home</em>.</p>
<p>"Thank you." I said in shock.</p>
<p>Wanda's face broke out into a broad smile, "I don't sense it in you anymore, but if you have the bad dream again…"</p>
<p>"What's this about bad dreams?" Tony called out while wandering out from his lab. He pointed to Clint, "You were supposed to be right back."</p>
<p>Clint shrugged, "Got distracted."</p>
<p>The twins continued to answer questions I rattled off at them and I did the same for them anytime they had a question for me. Meanwhile, Tony and Clint bustled around the kitchen. A few moments later, I felt someone come to a stop by my side and turned to look at them. My eyes widened at his red and silver features and the glowing yellow jewel on his forehead. Despite looking extremely alien, the guy wore a <em>sweater vest</em> and <em>khakis</em>.</p>
<p>"Wanda, we—" He began to speak in a very, <em>very</em> familiar voice. However, he must have felt my stare because he turned to face me with a smile and offered his hand to me in greeting, "Why hello. You must be Aj. My name is Vision, it's very nice to finally meet you."</p>
<p>I blinked at him twice then gasped, "<em>Tony, what the fuck did you do to JARVIS!?"</em></p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The Compound was loud and busy. A disaster and mess. Hectic and wild. Literally all words that Bucky tried his very hardest to avoid for the last half year. He thought those words would be dangerous for him. More so, he thought <em>he'd</em> be dangerous to <em>those words</em>. Nothing good could come from it.</p>
<p>"<em>If you don't give me the fucking remote—"</em></p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>What're you gonna do to me, Barton!? I have a bullet hole in my spleen."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>You don't have a spleen anymore, kid, now give me the damn—"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>No!"</em>
</p>
<p>Yet, despite the yelling and wrestling and <em>flying projectiles,</em> and God knows what else, he couldn't find it in himself to regret coming here. To regret staying here.</p>
<p>Sure, Bucky was still worried. He'd always be worried. Bucky was absolutely terrified for the night when the Soldier would wake from the nightmare rather than him. One comfort he took from his location though was that he was surrounded by people who could slow him down. There was no civilian next door that he could accidentally harm. The Avengers were prepared for him. It had only been six days here, but Tony Stark had already set up a program to watch him. He had no idea how it worked at all, but according to the genius if he started to lapse into an episode people would be warned. That helped ease his mind.</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Old man, you're going to hurt yourself with that kind of effort."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>How are you on her side? I've known you longer!"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>I'm very loveable, Clint."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Yes. She is very loveable."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>I'm gonna beat the shit outta both of you, come here!"</em>
</p>
<p>Another thing that eased his mind, surprisingly, was having Steve and Aj around. As terrified as he was about being in the vicinity to harm them, having them around helped stave off the darkness. Steve would share memories with him, bring back slivers of who he used to be, convince him that he was away from HYDRA and safe. Then, Aj would keep him in the present. <em>Grounded</em>. It was an odd system, but he was content with it.</p>
<p>"I'll be right back." Steve clapped him on the shoulder and Bucky tried not to stiffen. He didn't like leaving the main upstairs apartment. New spaces put him too on edge and he wasn't ready to map out the rest of the Compound. Still, Steve did anything he could to pull Bucky out at least once a day.</p>
<p>Bucky shot Steve a glare as his friend backpedaled away from him with a smug smirk. He turned back around just in time to see Clint Barton trip over the sectional in the living room and land on his face. Aj and Pietro, who were standing by the TV, laughed loudly at him without bothering to check if the archer was still alive.</p>
<p>"Hey, Bucky!" Aj chirped and he held back the smile that threatened to spread across his features. Her loose hair was a mess around her shoulders from running around the living room, and her blue eyes glowed in happiness. She stared at him from across the room, "You wanna watch a movie with us? Clint's officially not picking."</p>
<p>Clint lifted his head off the floor with a glare, "I have great taste in movies, thank you very much!"</p>
<p>Bucky chuckled and shook his head once. She stuck her lower lip out in a pout, that actually <em>did</em> tempt him, but the white haired teenager dragged her to the couch. Bucky leaned against the kitchen counter with his right arm and wrapped that same hand around the mug of coffee that sat in front of him.</p>
<p>He closed his eyes and sucked in a slow breath. The heat from the coffee in his hand was relaxing and the temperature of the Compound was always comfortable. Never too hot, never too cold. The air around him smelled fresh and clean, it swirled with the aroma from his drink, and there was no whiff of mold, weed, or anything else that seeped through the thin apartment walls he used to live in. Even the clean clothes he wore brought him security. The softness from the thick hoodie and sweatpants he wore felt heavy on his skin. The pressure felt nice.</p>
<p>In this moment of internal calm, he felt safe from himself.</p>
<p>The trio in the living room had settled to watch a movie, their argument dying down, and it left him the quiet to hear other sounds. Bucky could hear Steve around the corner talking to what sounded like Sam Wilson. Tony Stark had to have been in his lab because he heard the faint sound of unrecognizable music. Bucky focused back on the living room and after a moment he heard it. <em>Aj's heartbeat</em>.</p>
<p>Bucky hadn't told anyone, not even Steve, that he did this. That he sometimes would stop everything just to listen to her heartbeat. He recognized that it was weird as shit. He knew that. Still, after hearing it stop not even a full week ago, listening to it now brought him relief. Bucky knew she was safe, safe and alive, but sometimes he'd feel a nervous ball of energy with the memory of what had happened and the only thing that staved off the panic attack was hearing her strong heartbeat. It reassured him. Once upon a time he told Aj that his favorite track, on the record of his life, was the sound of her voice. Right next to that now, was the sound of her heart. Bucky could pick out the sound in a crowd of hundreds.</p>
<p>The sudden sound of a sucker being popped out of a mouth made him jump in place. His eyes flew open and landed on the red head who suddenly stood beside him. Natasha Romanof was maybe one of the few people on Earth who could sneak up on him. Maybe the only. She leaned on the kitchen counter beside him lazily. Her hair was half pulled back and she wore an oversized hoodie that covered her shorts entirely.</p>
<p>"You doing that weird thing where you listen to Aj's heart?" Natasha questioned in a bored tone, pointing her sucker at him. Bucky's eyes widened in surprise, heat flushing his cheeks, and her lip quirked up in the corner. "Yeah, I know. I know everything though so don't feel too bad about it."</p>
<p>Bucky stiffened awkwardly unsure of what to say. The only people he openly spoke to were Steve and Aj. Sometimes Tony, weirdly enough, but he hadn't branched out socially quite yet. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. There were risks with getting close to more people.</p>
<p>"I like your bracelet." She hummed, eyes glancing down to the blue and white braided item around his wrist. She stuck her own wrist out to reveal one of matching colors. Natasha smirked, "Looks like we're part of an elite club."</p>
<p>"I guess." Bucky cleared his throat.</p>
<p>"I've been meaning to thank you." Natasha said cheerly, "If it weren't for you, Aj wouldn't be here."</p>
<p>Bucky shook his head, "I, uh—"</p>
<p>"I owe you for that, but I don't trust you." She continued. Her friendly tone offsetting her words. Bucky stiffened a bit and turned so his body faced her a little more. He didn't blame the red head. Bucky didn't trust himself either. "You and Steve are important to one another. He never shuts up about you. And you obviously care for Aj a lot." She raised a single eyebrow at him, determination in her eyes. "I'm only going to say this to you once. If you harm anyone in this Compound, if you put any of them at risk—"</p>
<p>"<em>Kill me</em>." Bucky blurted. Natasha's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He shook his head sadly, "If I hurt someone. If I'm a threat to Steve or Aj or—or <em>anyone</em>… kill me."</p>
<p>Natasha hummed, "Good answer."</p>
<p>Bucky shook his head again, firmly this time, "I'm serious. Steve won't be able to do it, and others might hesitate. It's gotta be you."</p>
<p>"Don't worry. I will."</p>
<p>"Thank you." He replied. Another wave of relief hit him. Bucky needed a backup plan, a safeguard controlled by him. The others would try to save him, but if it got to the point where he was hurting people— if it got to the point where he was hurting <em>Steve or Aj</em>, then he didn't need to be saved. The Winter Soldier needed to die, and if that meant Bucky went down with him then so be it.</p>
<p>Natasha stuck the sucker back in her mouth, tucking it into her cheek, "Try not to let it come to that though."</p>
<p>Bucky watched as the ex-assassin sauntered into the living room and dropped down onto the couch beside Aj. The woman immediately smiled at the red head and wrapped her arm through hers so she could lean against her. Aj always had at least one hand on someone. Bucky assumed it was a comfort thing of her own. She was still trying to recover the mental and emotional aspects of what had happened to her. Aj was strong though. She'd heal, and Bucky would get to watch her flourish from up close.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The office was cute. Modern styled with shades of pastel pink, blue, and green. Accents of gold sat all around in various objects on the desk and bookshelf. A window sat behind the desk that filled the entire room with so much light that it made the room look twice as big. I drummed my fingers on top of the envelope I had set on the desk. The chair was comfortable too. Nice taste.</p>
<p>"What are you doing at my desk?"</p>
<p>My eyes dragged over the books to where Beth stood at the door. Her hair was braided back, and she wore a black camisole, dark green oversized sweater that hung off her shoulder, and white jeans. She had surprise painted on her features, but it was overshadowed by a nervous energy that seemed to radiate off her. Beth wasn't really surprised I was here. I had been back at the Compound for a week now. She had to have known this was just a matter of time.</p>
<p>"Howdy, Beth." I replied. When I shifted in the seat, I watched her flinch. I sighed and motioned to the chair in front of the desk with my head, "Have a seat."</p>
<p>"You say from behind <em>my</em> desk." She reiterated but followed my instructions. Beth squirmed a bit before crossing her arms tightly over her chest, "Should I expect the Avengers to come in soon? <em>Drag me out</em>?"</p>
<p>I shook my head, "They don't know about anything that went down with us." Her eyes widened a bit. "What was your plan exactly? I was gone so you were just gonna slip right into the spot I left?" Beth frowned, her eyes darting away. I nodded once taking her silence as all the answer I needed. "You know, Beth, I've <em>always</em> pegged myself on being a good judge of character. Mostly."</p>
<p>"Doesn't seem that way now does it?" She scoffed, but her voice wavered.</p>
<p>I chuckled at the fact that she was keeping her chin raised high. Beth was scared, I could see the tremor in her legs, but she was trying so hard not to show it. I respected that. I shook my head, "Nah, I still reckon that my instinct is pretty spot on. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've misjudged a person, and I'm not adding you to that count anytime soon."</p>
<p>"Are you kidding?" Beth pressed.</p>
<p>I stood up and ignored the way she jumped in her seat as I walked around the desk. I leaned against the front of it, only a foot away from where she sat, and then pulled a photo out of my hoodie pocket to look at. It was worn around the edges. Beth's smiling face was at the center and she was surrounded by faces that looked similar to hers. I flipped it around to show her, "Look what I found on your desk."</p>
<p>Beth quickly leaned forward and snatched it out of my hand, "I don't keep that picture on my desk!"</p>
<p>"Okay, lemme rephrase, look at what I found while digging through every drawer in this office for the last twenty minutes." I replied. Beth might not have even heard me though. She sat in her seat, shoulders slumped, as she stared at the small photo in her trembling hands. This time when I spoke, I kept my voice soft, "I remember I asked you what you did for New Years, if you went to see family or something, but you gave me a bland answer. Changed the subject. I remember making a mental note that it was a sensitive topic."</p>
<p>"<em>What's your point</em>?" Beth snapped in a tight, pained voice. She still refused to look up.</p>
<p>"What happened to them?" I asked. Beth finally dragged her gaze up to meet mine, her entire body tense. She sniffled once, and I watched as her eyes began to water. I crossed my arms. "I think you're a <em>really </em>good kid, who did a <em>really</em> dumb thing. Well, <em>tried</em> to do a really dumb thing. That happens when you're hurt and desperate…" Another sniffle. "You make mistakes. I get that more than most."</p>
<p>A few tears slipped from her eyes, but she was quick to swipe them away. Beth tucked the photo into her purse then cleared her throat, "It's funny. Do you know how fast someone's <em>entire world</em> can change from <em>one</em> phone call?" Beth let out a disappointed laugh and shook her head. Silent tears dripped down her cheeks again and she didn't bother to swipe them away. "I was supposed to be with them, but I, uh… I didn't come home for Christmas break my senior year of undergrad. I wanted to go skiing with my friends."</p>
<p>"That's not your fault." I said firmly, and Beth shook her head at me. She lifted her hands to her face and held them there while she took steadying breaths. When Beth finally settled, when she moved her hands back to her lap, I nodded once, "You wanted a family. I get that, I do, but…you <em>have</em> to see where it went wrong? You see that it wouldn't have ended like you wanted…<em>right</em>?"</p>
<p>Beth shrugged sadly, "Playing pretend was fun. You can convince yourself of anything if you won't admit the truth to yourself…"</p>
<p>She was right. When you refused to accept that something had happened, when you shoved it in the locked closet at the back of your head, there was a lot you could convince yourself of. You could convince yourself that your plan would work. You could convince yourself that you were okay.</p>
<p>I had my suspicions when I first walked into her office but seeing how small Beth looked in the chair in front of me was <em>more</em> than the confirmation I needed. At the end of the day, she was a <em>kid</em>. Yeah, she was 23 years old, but she was fresh faced out of college still. Beth was new to the real world and her brain was drunk with grief.</p>
<p>"Beth, I'm gonna tell you something and it's important that you listen real close." I gave her a firm look. Beth's eyes were glued to me. "When you have to stand on someone else in order to find happiness… the happiness you find isn't the kind that lasts. You're just gonna end up more hollow and more disappointed than when you started."</p>
<p>Beth held my gaze a second longer before nodding. She shifted in her seat again, "Do I… Do I get arrested now?"</p>
<p>I let out a loud laugh and she startled at the sound. I shook my head, still chuckling, "For what? <em>Being an ass</em>? Listen, Beth, if we were arresting people who were <em>dicks</em> to me then prisons would be <em>hella full</em>." At my words, her shoulders wilted in relief. I reached back to grab the envelope I had brought with me then held it out to her. "You are super fired though. Except we're not gonna use that word. We're gonna say that you quit."</p>
<p>"And what is this?" Beth glanced at the envelope she took from me.</p>
<p>"Letter of recommendation." I replied. "A glowing one, I should say. Should get you work damn near anywhere. Not to sound dramatic, but I have a way with the written word."</p>
<p>Beth shook her head, "I—I don't understand."</p>
<p>"I'm not gonna ruin the <em>rest of your life</em> because you did a <em>stupid thing</em>, Beth." I said dryly and pushed off the desk with a grunt. The only time I felt pain was with sudden, jarring movements or if I stood for too long. I lazily pointed at her, "You will be out of here before lunch, and we will <em>not</em> be seeing one another <em>ever</em> again."</p>
<p>When I got to the doorway, Beth stood up to speak, "Do I… Do I get to say good-bye to the others?"</p>
<p>"No." I shook my head with a smirk. "I'm a nice person, Beth, but I'm not <em>that</em> nice. Have a good life, and for once… I <em>don't</em> mean that sarcastically." I left her office then paused to poke my head back in for one last moment, "Also, just a suggestion, maybe look into getting some therapy. Just—Just a thought."</p>
<p>Without hesitating again, I moved down the hall to get out of the PR department. It had grown since our days at the Tower. The Avengers had a <em>full</em> team of PR agents now where it used to be just me sitting on the couch playing with Instagram. With Beth gone, that left a position up at the very top. I could take it outright, but there were others who deserved it more. I had actually given a promotion to a woman named Inara Reynolds. Here's to hoping she didn't try to take over my life and steal my family like the last head of PR did.</p>
<p>"Why the hell are you coming down the stairs?" Tony yelled at me from the first floor of the lobby. I grinned at him and jogged down the rest of the steps with grunts of pain on each one. "You're just asking for more internal bleeding, <em>Jesus Christ</em>."</p>
<p>I chuckled, "One flight of stairs isn't gonna kill me."</p>
<p>"No, but falling face first down the stairs after you're overcome with pain and then shattering some other poor organ just might." Tony scolded, but I could hardly take him seriously while he wore his usual grin. He motioned back upstairs, "For real, what's up? I thought you'd be babysitting the <em>bouncing baby psychopath</em>."</p>
<p>I shot him a glare, "What did I say about that?"</p>
<p>"Not to call Barnes a psychopath, but <em>in my defense</em>, I was referring to the <em>crazy ass</em> <em>HYDRA sleeper agent</em> hiding somewhere in his frontal cortex." Tony replied.</p>
<p>Bucky had been doing well, but it had only been a little over a week for him. He said new surroundings, new people, tended to set off episodes and trigger worse nightmares. It was why he had locked himself in Steve's apartment and only left when the blond dragged him out. Him and Steve shared the large apartment on the fifth floor across from Tony and Pepper's space. Clint and Natasha didn't mind the medium sized apartments, and it only made sense since the soldiers from the 40's needed a two bed, two bath set-up.</p>
<p>"Bucky is, uh, he's with Steve." I said and tried to hurry away. Tony followed me easily and hummed in acknowledgement. The mention of Steve was all it took for a conversation topic change. For some reason, Tony was pissed with Steve, and I… Well, I hadn't really talked to Steve since he found me on my balcony.</p>
<p>It wasn't a lack of him trying though. It was more <em>me avoiding him</em>. Steve seemed like he was fine with our situation, but I wasn't. He shouldn't have forgiven me so soon. Me getting shot and nearly dying was the <em>only</em> reason he did. That kind of shock and panic pushes people into making rash decisions. My sins still needed to be atoned for and if Steve wasn't going to take charge on that front then I would have to.</p>
<p>"So?"</p>
<p>"Right." I nodded. "Beth just quit."</p>
<p>Tony's eyes widened, "She <em>what</em>? What happened? Is she alright?"</p>
<p>There was no need to sully her name and make the Avengers upset over something I had already dealt with. I shook my head, "She's fine. It's for the best." He narrowed his eyes at me. "You trust me?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, of course." Tony said.</p>
<p>"Then it's settled." I replied. "I gave her a fantastic recommendation letter. Amazing."</p>
<p>Tony snickered, "As great as I think you are, I don't think an LOR from one <em>Aimee Jane Bradshaw</em> is gonna go very far.</p>
<p>"That's why I signed it with <em>your</em> name."</p>
<p>"That'll do it."</p>
<p>We walked for a few moments before Tony stopped me. He glanced behind us and then forward again, recognizing our location, "Are you going to the training gym?"</p>
<p>"Yupp." I chirped. He shot me a dry look and I just chuckled, "<em>Relax</em>. I told Pietro and Wanda that I'd swing by and watch them train. Give them pointers. I figure while I do that, I can search the web for a new job since I am once again without a career." I snapped my fingers once with an idea. "Do you think the cafeteria here would hire me?"</p>
<p>Tony clapped his hands then quickly wrapped his arms around my shoulders with a grin that I knew meant only trouble, "God, I'm <em>so glad</em> you mentioned that. I have a new job for you."</p>
<p>"You…You <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"I have a new career for you. You know the drill. Keep up, sunshine."</p>
<p>"This is the <em>third damn time</em>, Stark. I swear if you make me president of something—"</p>
<p>"High school teacher. <em>All the subjects</em>."</p>
<p>"A fucking <em>what</em>?"</p>
<p>"Teacher! For the kiddos. They need to graduate and public school seems like a bad idea. Why? Do you think we should send the Maximofs to school with Peter?"</p>
<p>"No, but—"</p>
<p>"Good! You should work on lesson plans right now because you start first thing on Monday."</p>
<p>"<em>Tony</em>!"</p>
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<a name="section0037"><h2>37. After The Credits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Here it is!! It's been a wild ride, but we're just getting started my friends! Let me know some of your favorite parts or what you're looking forward to in the future! Regardless, thanks so much for the support I've been shown while writing this! I'm excited to move forward (:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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  <em>"The truth always comes out. </em>
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  <em>Sometimes it's right away and other times it's down the road, </em>
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  <em>but listen to me very closely… </em>
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<p><em>the truth </em>always<em> comes out." –unknown</em></p>
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<p>Brock Rumlow missed his face. That was his only thought as he stared in the flower shop window at his reflection. The Nano Mask he wore gave off the illusion that he was handsome again, but he knew it was a lie. <em>A trick</em>. If he took the mask off his scars would show. He missed his features, that was his main thought, but it was a lie saying it was his only one. Rumlow also thought about how eager he was to slowly choke the life out of Steve Rogers and his friends. It's all he dreamed about these days.</p>
<p>He readjusted his jacket, feeling the gun shift in the holster he wore, and moved away from the window. Strucker wasn't a patient man so the faster he grabbed the girl the faster he'd get to be done with this and get back to his own personal vendetta.</p>
<p>The target sat at a table alone drinking coffee and flipping through a book. It was in the middle of the afternoon and the area surrounding them was heavily crowded. That made it a little tougher. Rumlow had never been the agent who went undercover. He was the kind you called after the undercover mission was blown to shit and you needed muscle and firepower.</p>
<p>Rumlow blew out a sigh of annoyance and pushed through the crowd. As he got close, he pulled out his phone and when he stepped into place he dropped it with a loud curse. The phone clattered across the stone bricks and landed under the woman's chair.</p>
<p>"<em>Shit</em>, I'm <em>so</em> sorry ma'am." Rumlow said quickly.</p>
<p>The woman reached under her chair and picked the phone up with a broad, glowing smile. Her dark blonde hair fell around her shoulders in gorgeous waves and a wide brim hat rested on the top of it. Her gray blue eyes stared up at him in amusement. She was the kind of woman any man would want attention from. The main feature of a hundred men's wet dreams. When she spoke, her voice was melodic and hypnotizing, "No worries. Accidents happen."</p>
<p>Rumlow took his phone from her hand, tapped it against his hand, then motioned to the target, "You're American as well?"</p>
<p>"Busted." Aubrey Joan Bradshaw held her hands up with a small, musical laugh, "I'm on vacation here with my husband. Greece was our <em>dream</em> location."</p>
<p>"There's no place better." Rumlow chuckled in agreement. He pointed to the empty seat, "May I sit for a moment?" Aubrey cheerfully agreed and he sat down across from her. Rumlow set his hand on the table, drumming his fingers as he spoke, "How long are you in the area for?"</p>
<p>She shrugged and her white sundress slipped off her shoulder revealing her sun-tanned skin. Rumlow's licked his lips and he couldn't resist letting his eyes trace the curve of her shoulder. <em>Fuck</em>, she was hot. There would be time on the jet while getting to Strucker where he'd have a minute to himself. Maybe he could feel for himself how soft that skin really was. He realized he hadn't been listening to her talk and zoned back in, "...maybe another week? We might prolong our vacation again."</p>
<p>"You already have once?" Rumlow asked, feigning interest, "Can't get enough?"</p>
<p>"We really can't. It's just <em>so</em> pretty here." Aubrey took a sip of her coffee then nodded, "Where are you from?"</p>
<p>"New York City."</p>
<p>Aubrey's smile faltered for a second, "Oh. I have a sister who lives up there. We're from Alabama, but she went up there for college... I guess she fell in love with the city."</p>
<p>"It's very easy to." Rumlow replied distractedly. His eyes had followed the curve of her shoulder, up her slender neck, and to her lips. He cleared his throat, "Do you get to visit her often?"</p>
<p>"I haven't seen her in a very long time unfortunately. I'd like to though."</p>
<p>"What a shame." Rumlow hummed.</p>
<p>"It is I—" Aubrey shifted and the purse that had been in her lap fell to the ground. Rumlow felt a tube of lipstick roll into his foot. She laughed, "Now it looks like <em>I'm</em> the klutz. I'm so sorry."</p>
<p>Rumlow smirked, "Allow me to repay your favor."</p>
<p>He knelt over to quickly scoop up the few items that had fallen out. Rumlow let his gaze wander to her bare legs, but when he got to her lap he stiffened in annoyance. Her hand rested in her lap, gripping tightly to a handgun that was aimed directly at his abdomen. Rumlow's jaw clenched in aggravation and he slowly sat back up with a leveled glare. He had let himself get distracted by a pretty face. Rumlow scoffed and set his hands on the table so the bitch wouldn't get spooked and prematurely pull the trigger.</p>
<p>Aubrey's smile had faded to a frown, but he saw no fire in her eyes. Just <em>fear</em>. She leaned forward a degree and though she tried to be intimidating her voice still wavered, "I hear you're looking to see my sister too. Now, <em>why</em> the hell is <em>that</em>?"</p>
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<p><strong>Aj Bradshaw and others shall return to AO3 on <span class="u">March 1, 2021</span></strong> <strong> in the sequel to be titled: </strong> <em> <strong>'Not That Special'.</strong> </em></p>
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